National Humor Month Suggestion

April is National Humor Month and I only recently discovered that Sirius XM had added a comedy channel that I really have enjoyed. The Comedy Classics channel can be found for a limited time on Channel 104. Here is what Radio Insight quoted from the press release:

This is not a prank: SiriusXM announced today a new channel, Comedy Classics, that will honor timeless stand-up from the 1950s-1970s. The line-up includes iconic moments from legends who shaped the landscape and defined comedy for generations. The limited run channel is available now on SiriusXM channel 104.

Building on SiriusXM’s enormous classic stand-up library, the channel will add material from legendary comedians like Bob Hope, Jonathan Winters, and the infamous Friars Club Roasts that paved the way for the comedy that we love today. SiriusXM’s Comedy Classics now pays tribute to these icons showcasing their immense talent and funniest moments. In addition to the aforementioned legends, each week the channel will spotlight both never-before-heard and rare stand-up highlights that haven’t been heard in decades, featuring comedy from Jackie Gleason, Buddy Hackett, The Smothers Brothers, Flip Wilson, and more.

Also not to be missed are Bob Hope’s Thanks for The Memories special, stand-up from The Garry Moore Show, and the Colgate Comedy Special featuring Nipsey Russel, Rowan & Martin, Carl Reiner, Mel Brooks, and more.

“Whether you’re feeling nostalgic, looking to discover the roots of modern-day comedy, or just hankering for a great laugh, Comedy Classics will appeal to a wide range of listeners,” said Jack Vaughn, SiriusXM’s Senior Vice President of Comedy Programming. “The era provided such a wealth of amazing talent, material, and inspiration that we had to properly honor it with its very own channel.”

Comedy Classics is available now on channel 104, and will subsequently be available exclusively on the SiriusXM app and desktop player.

What I have really enjoyed is hearing some of the early stand up stuff from guys like Jon Byner, Buddy Hackett, Johnny Carson, Richard Pryor and more. Some of these cuts are taken from the Ed Sullivan Show and other TV appearances. Others are cuts from classic comedy albums. What I enjoyed listening to the most are the cuts from the Friar’s Roasts and the Dean Martin Roasts.

Some of the material is dated and some of it might be considered “politically incorrect” today, but I found myself enjoying much of it!

Want a laugh? Check it out!

Some Laughs From Soupy

April is National Humor Month. In an effort to spread laughter and a few smiles, I wanted to share a few of my favorite jokes from Soupy Sales. In the late 80’s he had a syndicated show called “The Soupy Sales Moldie Oldies Show” and each week featured a “Joke of the Day.” The following jokes were featured on that show:

Size 16

A stockbroker is suffering from a recurring ringing in his ears and he goes to the doctor who recommends that he have his tonsils removed. He has them removed, but it doesn’t help. He goes to a second doctor who advises him to have his teeth pulled. This too fails and the ringing continues.

He goes to a third doctor, a specialist, who says, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but you are suffering from a rare disease and at best, you have six months to live.”

Since the guy has no relatives to whom to leave his money, he decides to spend every cent he has. He books passage for a trip around the world. He goes to the best tailor in town and orders twenty handmaid suits. He finds a shirt maker and has twenty shirts made to order.

The shirt maker starts taking all the measurements and says, “Thirty-four sleeve. Sixteen Collar.” The stock broker says, “Excuse me, that should be fifteen.” The shirt maker responds and says, “Sixteen collar, look here at the tape measure.” The broker says, “That can’t be. I’ve always worn a fifteen collar and THAT’S what I want!”

The shirt maker replies, “Ok, but you’ll get a ringing in your ears!”

A Newlywed Joke

A young husband just married a couple of weeks comes home from a really hard day at the office. And as soon as he comes in, he falls down on the couch and he is just exhausted.

His bride comes in and looks at him very sympathetically and says, “My darling, you look so tired and so hungry. How would you like a nice steak smothered in onions, vegetables, baked potato, and some delicious pie a la mode?”

The weary new bridegroom looks up at his wife and says, “Not tonight, honey, I’m too tired to go out!”

It’s All About the Money

A guy is at a bar after office hours and he says to his friend, “Boy, I just have to have another drink before I go home. My wife is on my back from the moment I get home till I leave the next day about money. She’s always nagging me about money. Last week she wanted two hundred dollars. The day before yesterday, she wanted a hundred dollars. This morning, she asked for another hundred and fifty dollars!”

And his friend says, “Wow! That’s awful. What could she possibly do with all that money?”

And the guy says, “I don’t know, I never give her any!”

A Heavenly Funny

(Note: To my church and Bible friends, I know how doctrinally wrong this is. Keep in mind, it’s just a joke.)

There’s a bus loaded with women and they’re returning from a church worker’s convention. There is an accident, the bus overturns and all the women are killed. Now they all go to heaven and St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and explains that heaven is full and that he’s going to have to put them up in hell until the new subdivision is completed.

Three weeks later, the devil frantically calls up St. Peter and begs him, “PLEASE! Take these women off my hands!!”

St. Peter says, “I can’t I’m still waiting for them to finish this subdivision. I’m still having housing troubles!”

And the devils says, “Troubles?! You don’t know what trouble is!! With all of their cake bakes, bingo games, rummage sales and bazaars, these women are only forty dollars short of air conditioning this place!”

Artist Greg Joens’ rendition of Soupy Sales! It’s pretty awesome!

Happy National Humor Month!

Keep Smiling! Keep laughing!

A “Story” from Mr. Balos

As April is National Humor Month, I began to think about blogging some of my favorite jokes. One came to mind immediately, but I have to give a little backstory before I tell it.

Manny Balos was one of the coolest teachers at my high school. He was originally the band director, and he eventually taught history and some other classes. He taught a class which was an “elective” for seniors called “Life in America.” Today, one might call this a “blow off class.” Throughout the class there were units on Old Radio Shows, Classic TV shows, Country Music, Pop Music, Rock Music and more. It was a blast.

Manny Balos

Mr. Balos always wrapped up class about 5 minutes before the bell rang, and told the class a joke (or jokes). However, he never called them jokes. He told us “stories.” One of my favorite “stories,” I later found out was a joke that had been around for some time and actually appeared on a song recorded by the Gaylords. They were two Italian brothers who were singers and comedians.

When Mr. Balos told this “story” he told it with a heavy and exaggerated Italian accent. I realize that by posting it here in written form, it will never do the “story” justice. Manny had a wonderful way of telling them. I’ll do my best to remember it …. here goes:

A little Italian man is flying to America. He is flying on a two engine plane over the ocean. A few minutes into the flight, the captain comes over the intercom:

“Welcome to Alitalia Airlines. This isa you Captain speaking. We gotta beautiful day for flying. We gonna be a cruising at about 45,000 feets and it looka like we gotta smooth sailing. Sitta back and enjoy you flight.”

A few minutes later, the captain is once again on the intercom:

“Ladies and gentleman, this isa you Captain speaking. It looks like we’re having some-a trouble with the right engine. But it’s a nothing to worry about. We gonna be fine. Justa relax, and enjoy the rest of you flight.”

The passenger relaxes into his seat. About 30 minutes later, a voice comes back over the intercom:

“Hello?! This isa you Captain speaking, again. We have lost the right engine, but don’t you worry, we gotta nother one on the left side that will get us where we going. It’s a no problem. But as a precaution, we wanna ask every body who knows how to swim to move to the right side of the plane, and those who no can swim, go to the left side of the plane. It’s a no big deal, it’s just a precaution. Have a some wine and enjoy the rest of you flight.”

Shortly after that there was a loud noise and again the voice came over the intercom:

“April Day! April Day!” I guess he meant to say May Day, but he got it wrong. “This isa you Captain speaking again. We lost the other engine and it looks like we are gonna have to make a splash landing in da water! Those of you on the right side of the plane who know how to swim, don’t you worry. When we hit the water, make a you way to the exit signs and jump in the water, and swim straight ahead. We are only about a mile or so from land. Those of you who are onna da left side of the plane ……. Thank you for flying Alitalia Airlines.”

(Rim Shot)

No one told this story better than Manny …..

UPDATE:

After posting this blog, I was asked to find the video we made of Manny telling his favorite stories. I found the DVD that my buddy Steve made from the original VHS tape and converted it for YouTube. Here is the “Best of Manny” recorded in 1988….

The one, the only – Manny Balos!!!