A Beautiful Celebration

This weekend was just wonderful! My Goddaughter and her fiancé got married on Saturday. I was honored to be able to DJ the wedding for them.

Before I tell you more, I want to give a little backstory. Just after we rang in the year 2020, and before Covid closed everything, I blogged about my Goddaughter and her mom. I think in order to fully understand what I was feeling this weekend, it is worth revisiting:

January 1, 2020

Today, we met one of my oldest and dearest friends for lunch. Margaret and I have been friends since junior high. We are both Italian. My folks loved her, and her folks loved me. I think they probably both thought that we would date or something, but that never happened. We both went to a few dances together, but that was about as close to “dating” as it got. We were just really good friends and that made us both happy. We were officers in band together, we dressed up as twins for Twin Day, she and I both took a senior picture together, and spent many hours on the phone. She was/is one of my best friends!

When her daughter, Marissa, was born she asked me to be her Godfather. I was honored to do it. A Godfather is a very important role for an Italian. When I got married the first time, sadly, I saw less and less of Margaret and my Goddaughter. Whenever I was supposed to get together with them, I was always informed that we couldn’t go or we had something to do with my ex’s family. (If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you are well aware of the narcissism that I dealt with and how miserable my life had become.)

After the divorce, Margaret was one of the first to reach out to me. She completely understood what was going on. Her forgiveness meant everything to me. I hurt her. I was hurt, too. I lost many years of our friendship, and I lost so many moments with my Goddaughter. After all of that, Margaret (and many other friends) had every right to just stop talking to me, but our friendship meant so much, that we have picked up where we left off.

When I attended my Goddaughter’s 21st birthday party, I pulled her aside and apologized for missing so many important things in her life. How do you explain that to someone? As I looked back on the past, my stomach was in knots. I was sickened to think of how I must have made so many people feel. She didn’t bat an eye, however, and told me she loved me and we all enjoyed a great evening! I remember driving home from her party crying my eyes out. It wasn’t fair to her that I missed so many things. It makes me angry to know that I missed so much, but I am also happy that I can try to make up for lost time with her!

Sam and I were going to see what Margaret and her husband, Walt, were doing on New Year’s Eve and found out she was working that night. So they met us at one of the nearby bars for lunch on New Year’s Day. We enjoyed some amazing burgers, and enjoyed good conversation. There is always a lot of laughter when we get together, story telling with wild hand gestures (it is the Italian in us!) and usually some profanity! It was truly a wonderful afternoon. We hope to be able to do it more often!

During lunch, Margaret said something that struck a chord. It was something that made me sad, and happy at the same time. She said, “I have seen you more and talked to you more in the past two years, that the entire time you were married.” This made me sad, because of what I touched on early – a great friendship almost destroyed as well as the relationship between my Goddaughter and me, all because of the stupidity of someone else. It made me happy to know that our friendship remains and will grow even stronger in the years ahead.

Shortly After That

My daughter Ella was born just over a month later. Margaret and Walt made the drive up to the hospital that night with Olive Garden dinners for Sam and me, and also a ton of soup and breadsticks for the hospital staff on our floor!

Ella loves her Aunt Margaret. Margaret has shown so much love to her and Andrew. Ella thanks God for her every night when she prays. Margaret refers to them as “my babies!” Thanks to technology, they love being able to video chat with her anytime!

Last week, Margaret and I got into one of those deep conversations. The years I missed came up. The deep regret that I hate thinking about . The “What Ifs” and such. We had been talking about my kids. She told me that she had always wanted to do that for my older boys, too! Thanks to my ex, that was never to be. All the hurt I felt about missing time with Marissa and I never really realized just how much hurt Margaret felt about missing time with my boys.

Sigh. On to happier stuff….

September 23, 2023

Saturday, I arrived at the breathtaking tree farm where the wedding was to be held. The first person I saw was the groom to be, Connor. He’s a great guy and I know that he is going to be a great husband. I asked him if he was nervous, and he said he was. Marissa and Connor have been together for 7 years. They are perfect together. I don’t remember what I told him, but I assured him all would go well.

When Marissa arrived, they shuffled Connor into the lodge area so he couldn’t see her. She came over and embraced me for a hug. She didn’t even have her dress on yet, and she was just stunning. We talked a briefly and then she was off to get ready.

I saw Margaret out in front of the lodge as I parked my father-in-law’s truck (which he let me borrow so I could fit everything in it!). She was busy putting out fires on the cell phone and with people at the venue.

It didn’t take me too long to get set up. It was hot, so I was glad I hadn’t arrived in my suit. I went to change and by then, we were about an hour and a half away from the ceremony. The families all came out and the photographers got pictures done before the ceremony, which you don’t see too often. But I get it, the sun was perfect and I know that they got some amazing pictures. I, however, only got two. One of Margaret and me, and the other with Marissa.

The ceremony was just wonderful. I was sitting next to Chris, a mutual friend of Margaret and me. She asked if I was going to need a tissue. I told her probably, but I passed her back the tissue pack. Once Marissa and her dad began walking down the aisle, I could feel those tears well up.

Their officiant knew both of them very well and shared some very funny stories. At the same time, he was very professional. Marissa and Connor each wrote their own vows. They read like a love story. Wow, the looks that they gave each other throughout the ceremony and the sharing of their vows….. It was a powerful example of true love. Again, I held back tears.

I’ve DJ’s many weddings, but this was the first where a grand entrance was timed down to the second! They entered to Natalie Cole’s This Will Be (An Everlasting Love). I had a cue sheet with the time and the lyrics along with the couples that were entering at that time. They had it timed perfectly.

After the grand entrance, Marissa and Connor had put together a dance for their first song. It was such a joy to watch these two execute their moves to perfection. I was glad that a little hiccup that could have meant me not having their song was an easy fix. In all my years doing weddings, this was only the third time the bride and groom had choreographed their first dance. It was beautiful.

It was after this that I saw Margaret become “that Italian mom.” Let me explain. No one had filled the glasses of the head table and when we went to do toasts, there was nothing to toast! They decided to let people eat and they would toast during dinner while someone filled glasses. That someone – was Margaret. She came busting out of the lodge with bottle of wine in each hand. She walked to every person with an empty glass and asked, “White or red?”

She was the first table called to eat after the head table. Yet, she was like the last in line to eat! I had to tell her to get a plate. She naturally swore at me and moved through the buffet line.

Toasts from the Best Man, Maid of Honor, and the fathers of both the Bride and Groom followed. The Best Man impressed me with a perfect line. He stated that he and Connor had been best friends forever. He stated that he was happy to give up that title, because Marissa would now forever be his best friend. Good stuff!

After dinner, Marissa danced with her dad and Connor danced with his mom. Then the dance floor opened for the night. Music was not an issue, as they had given me plenty of songs to choose from. There is never enough time to get through the entire list. There were plenty of requests and the crowd seemed to be having a good time.

I naturally brought out the groom and the groomsmen, who had no idea why I called them out to the floor. I passed out a cowboy hat, and Indian head dress, a policeman’s hat, a sailor hat, and a biker hat. I led them through some silly moves and we did the YMCA together. This is always silly and they guys had fun. I even got to embarrass myself as I walked through the crown lip synching “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis with my terrible Elvis wig.

There were so many things from the evening that I will remember, but the one thing that will stick with me forever is just how beautiful Marissa looked.

I am so happy for her. I am excited to hear about all the things that are ahead for her and Connor. Random thought: Is he now my Godson-in-law? I’d be ok with that.

On my hour drive home, there was a lot of time to think about the day. I smiled again as I recalled the vows, the first dance, the last dance, and more. I had to pull over when the sadness crept in with the memory of the lost time with her. I had to remind myself that that is all in the past, and there will be more happy days ahead. Plenty of happy days, I am sure of it!

Congratulations to Marissa and Connor. Your love for each other will carry you through the tough storms … and God will get you through the rest!

I love you both!

Morning Miscellaneous

The anecdotes in the blog today are a hodge podge of things that really wouldn’t work as a complete blog, so I thought I would just throw them together here in one. Please forgive the randomness …

Missed Milestone

Somewhere over the last couple weeks, I neglected to mark a milestone. I would have never guessed that I would post over 900 blogs when I started this site, but I have! Many of you have been here from the start and I thank you for reading. Thank you for reading about everything from diaper changes to my favorite movies and music. Thank you for listening to my many rants. Thank you for supporting the many changes my life has gone through and for your wonderful encouragement.

Maybe I have enough written to compile that book I have been meaning to write?

No More High Chair

Andrew has officially outgrown the high chair. I admit, it was nice to be able to put him in there and know that he would stay in one spot while he ate, however, it was time. So Sam and I brought out Ella’s table and now they can eat together. The above picture is in the middle of the living room temporarily while we rearranged the room.

We Got a Tonie

A funny thing happened this week. My wife was telling me, “I think I wanna get one of those Tonie Boxes.” I had no idea what she was talking about. She told me that it was like an Alexa for kids. You place this “Tonie” on the top and it reads books or plays stories. I had no idea what it looked like, but I pictured a small speaker with like a flash drive on it or something.

That same day – not 2 hours later – a box was out on the porch. My friend Margaret had sent the kids a birthday/Christmas present. I opened the box and I saw what looked like a package you might find a set of books in. Nope, it was a Tonie! My wife and I looked at each other in disbelief.

When I called Margaret so the kids could say thank you, I told her the story of our conversation and the arrival of her box. She couldn’t believe it. She told me that she saw it while walking through Meijer. She had no idea if the kids would even like it, and made sure to include the gift receipt in case we wanted to take it back. She included a few extra Tonie characters in the box and they kids love it!!

There are many Tonie characters you can get that tell stories and play music. You can even create your own content. If you have a little one, it is worth it!

Family Comedian

My daughter, Ella, is a constant source of laughter. Many times that comes at my expense. The following conversation took place this week:

Ella (with a hairbrush): Daddy, can I brush your hair?

Me: Baby, I don’t have any hair to brush

Ella: Yes you do!

I posted this picture on my Facebook and a friend commented, “Throw that brush away! She doesn’t want to catch the BALD!”

Parental Funny

I saw this posted on one of the Instagram pages I follow and got a good chuckle. ALL parents can relate to this!

Have a great weekend!

Friday Photo Flashback

It is time for another installment of my Friday Photo Flashback. This week – a picture I didn’t even know I had.

It certainly is not a great picture of me, but it does bring back memories. The background seems dark and things behind us are hard to make out, but the people in it stir up good memories.

From left to right front row: me, Karen, and Joe. Back row: Margaret and Steve

The photo was taken at my high school graduation party. I only know this because of the clothes we are wearing (thanks to other photos from the party). It is a snapshot of an ending and new beginning for us – the end of school and the start of “real life.”

1988. The people in the photo were my best friends. Jeff would also be included in that group, and there is another photo of all of us together somewhere. The only thing that would make this a perfect snapshot of my life at that time would be Jeff in it.

I spent so much time with all of these people in high school. We always seemed to be together. it wasn’t always all of us, but you could almost be that I’d be with at least one of them!

Steve and I were practically inseparable. We spent hours in the car driving and listening to tapes I had made to “cruise” with. I’ve always said we were like Jackie Gleason and Art Carney – Ralph and Norton. I think we drove each other nuts at times, but we truly were great friends … And still are. The day was bittersweet for us because I believe the day after this photo was taken, Steve left for basic training.

Joe and I hung out almost as much, but he was always the better student and actually did his homework. A lot of the time he’d be doing that so it was just Steve and I out causing trouble. There were many times, however, that we’d all hope in the car and drive around wasting gas. I think of the three of us as the Three Amigos, or maybe the Three Stooges is more accurate. We all played cards (Pinochle) together for hours on end. Now we try to find time between our work schedules to schedule a golf outing together…

Margaret and I were as close as Steve and me. I love that she has her arm around me in this picture. We never dated – even though our folks wanted us to – but it was almost like we did. We loved each other, but never in a romantic kind of way We went to movies, dances, and dinner together and our friendship continues to this day. She is Aunt Margaret to my kids and they love her just as much as I do.

Margaret and I used to talk for hours on the phone when were in school. We still do. Both of us have long drives to work and we often chat while driving. We still vent, laugh and cry with each other. Ours truly is an amazing friendship.

Karen and I had probably just started dating when this picture was taken. She was the same age as my brother and a Freshman when I was a Senior. For some reason, she stood next to me in parade formation in marching band. It was weird because I played trumpet and she was a flute player. Not sure why we were next to each other, but it led to our relationship.

I always tried to make her laugh when we were in marching band. I usually did. As prom approached, I kind of jokingly asked if she’d want to go. She surprised me and said yes. I remember Joe and I got a limo and I think we both had top hats. I think both Karen and Joe’s date wore blue dresses. All my prom pictures are gone now, so it is hard to remember. I do have vivid memories of that night, but that is really all.

We dated for about 5 years total with a short break in there somewhere. Karen was my first love. She wasn’t my first girlfriend, but my first serious one. We had a lot of wonderful memories. She’s married now and a wonderful mother. She works hard in the medical field and I still hear from her sisters and also am friends with some of her family on Facebook. I recently DJ’d her sister’s wedding and saw her briefly. I was glad to get to say hello.

I have some wonderful memories of that graduation party. My dad gathered up members of the wedding band he had played with and they all set up and played music at the party. My Uncle Tom played drums on some songs and did some singing of old blues tunes. My cousins also joined in and played drums and guitar. It was so cool. Steve, Joe, Jeff and I all got up and sang Weird Al’s parody of La Bamba (Lasagna) like a bunch of fools.

Of course, I think of the many folks who were there, who are no longer here. My mom, my grandparents, my great grandma, my great Aunt, Steve’s dad, Joe’s mom, and so many others. Thankfully they live on in photos and memories.

It seems to me as I look at this picture that we are posing for someone else’s photo. I wonder who might have been taking it. I would certainly love to see that one. Maybe I’m wrong, though. We all don’t seem to be looking the same way. Perhaps this is just an excellent candid picture. It’s a nice candid picture where I still have hair, big glasses, and am surrounded by some of the best people I’ve ever or will ever know.

Playing Doctor

When I was a kid, I remember having one of those Fisher Price Doctor kits. As a matter of fact, I think it remains a staple in every kid’s toy box!

I remember how cool it was that you could hear your heartbeat with the Stethoscope. Of course, you always had to give every one in your family a “shot!”

Today, my friend Margaret stopped by to drop off the kid’s Christmas presents. Naturally, Ella was excited to see her. She loves Aunt Margaret! She knew that she probably wasn’t going to get to see Ella before her birthday next month, so she also brought her birthday present.

I put the gift bag aside and figured I’d give it to her closer to her birthday. I was standing in the kitchen and Ella found the bag. She looked in it and started yelling “CoCo Mel!” “CoCo Mel!” which is Ella talk for Cocomelon. Aunt Margaret got her a Cocomelon doctor kit.

When you push the bandaid on the “bag” it sings and stuff. She was so excited to play with it, so she got her present early.

Of course, she had to give mommy, daddy, and baby brother a shot. Sam told me she was playing doctor all night. She takes liquid vitamin D in a dropper every day and AJ takes GERD meds in a syringe. So was walking up to him and giving him “medicine” (the shot) like his syringe.

When Sam told me this, I was reminded of an event that happened when I was probably a couple years older than Ella (maybe 5 or 6). I was playing doctor as well…and it put me in the hospital! Remember how Grey’s Anatomy had Dr. McDreamy and Dr. McSteamy? As a kid, I was Dr. McDummy!!

Growing up, when we had a fever, mom used to give us baby aspirin. It was orange flavored and I remember thinking it tasted like candy.

I want to say that the bottle did NOT have a child proof cap on it. I know that because of what happened.

My brother and I had gotten up and we were watching TV. My mom was still in bed sleeping. I grabbed the old Fisher Price doctor kit and we were playing. I told him he was sick and needed medicine. Mom kept the medicine up in a cupboard in the kitchen. It was a high cupboard and I had to work to get to it.

I pulled over a kitchen chair and climbed up on it. I don’t remember much, but I do remember grabbing the baby aspirin and taking my brother’s temperature with the fake thermometer. I said he needed medicine, but I was always the one who ate a baby aspirin. I don’t know how many I wound up taking. I do know that mom found me in the kitchen and I was off to the hospital to have my stomach pumped.

I don’t remember much about the hospital stay or any of the aftermath. I hadn’t thought about this incident in many years. Maybe I’ll call my dad this weekend and see how much he remembers. I can’t even imagine how scary this had to be for either one of them. I wonder if Dr. McDummy’s antics led to the child proof caps?

2021 – What a Year!

At midnight tonight, we’ll start a brand new year – 2022. Some have compared a new year to a book. The book with 365 blank pages – one for each day – and said that the book is ours to write. There is truth to that.

As I looked back over my “book” entitled “2021,” I see that (despite the pandemic and all the crap that came with it) I really did have a good year. Bear with me, he’s the recap:

January

January started with some snow. It actually looks like we should be getting snow again this week. Ella absolutely loved being outside in the snow. It was fun to watch her try to figure out just what all the white stuff was. Today, when she sees it, she get’s excited and yells, “Snow! Snow!”

In mid-January, we scratched our heads and wondered just how Ella was 11 months old! I mean, it seemed like she was just born!

The pressure was on as we closed in on her first birthday. With Covid, we weren’t quite sure if we’d even be able to have a party for her.

February

As we got closer to Ella’s birthday, Sam was just not feeling right. 3 days before Ella’s birthday, we found out that baby #2 was on the way!

This took us both completely by surprise! There was great excitement all over again. The hardest part was keeping it a secret…

Ella’s first birthday was a fun and busy day. We ditched the pink blocks and marked the birthday with a HUGE number “1” balloon. This was followed by a trip to the Sea Life Aquarium, the Build a Bear place, and cake at Nana’s house.

We were glad to be able to get some professional “1st Birthday” pictures, too!

March

In March we got our first look at the baby we now know as Andrew/AJ and announced Ella’s promotion to big sister.

Ella also got her first haircut

March also consisted of many walks around the neighborhood and stops at the park.

April

Big brother, Dante’ turned 19 this month! Before that, Easter fell on my mom’s birthday. We got Ella all dressed up in her Easter dress, stopped at the cemetery to visit grandma on her birthday and then went to Nana’s for an Easter Egg hunt!

Ella is so very blessed to have wonderful people in her life. Aunt Margaret is one of them! (She will kill me for posting this picture, but I just love this!!) She and cousin Marissa came to visit and the highlight was watching them read books together.

We also found out the baby’s gender, but that wouldn’t be revealed until May.

May

Birthday’s have never really bothered me, mostly because I opt for the Jack Benny attitude and say that I am stuck at 39. However, in reality I turned 51. 30 was big. 40 was tough. 50 a bit hard to swallow. Over 50? Well…..I examine my own mortality every day.

The month started warm enough that Ella got to spend lots of time in her sandbox and pool.

We revealed that Ella was having a baby brother and got another look at him on an ultrasound.

Ella and I worked on a special project for Sam for Mother’s Day and we got to visit the Detroit Zoo.

May also brought Ella her first taste of corn on the cob!

June

My second oldest boy celebrated his 14th birthday in June. We got to spend Father’s Day together by visiting Crossroads Village. They had a Classic Car Show there and we walked the village and rode the train. It was such a great day with my kids!

It was SO hot that day!!! By the end of it all, Ella was physically exhausted. June was a hot month and we did get to get out and enjoy walks in the park and a day at the splash pad.

July

By July, Sam was 5 months pregnant and was so sick. The pregnancy was a rough one on her. The heat didn’t help things. Despite that, the middle of summer was packed full of amazing things and our family had loads of fun.

We celebrated America’s Birthday, Ella had her first visit to the public library and bowled for the first time, and we all visited the Saginaw Children’s Zoo.

August

As Summer drew to a close, we continued to squeeze as much into it as we could. I got to spend a perfect day doing a daddy daughter picnic, my name was finally on the board at the Corner Cone for a free ice cream, Ella spent lots of time drawing with crayons, and our stress levels were through the roof as we took Ella in for her ear tube surgery. We also got another peak at AJ and had a visit from my brother.

September

Fall! My favorite season of all. I was glad to be able to get together with Margaret, Walt and my buddy Chris at Margaret’s house. Since she’s already mad at the one picture I posted, I’ll just share the one she told me I could share. Hopefully, that makes things a little better….

We always love going to get pumpkins and decorating the front of the house for fall. Ella seemed to like it, too.

Ella and I also got to take one last trip to the Saginaw Zoo before it closed for the season. It was a great day for us, and Sam actually got to relax a bit.

October

We had been told more than once that there was a possibility that the baby would come before his due date. He held out almost until the date! Just two days before he was born, Ella and I got to go outside and enjoy the fall colors.

On October 11th, AJ entered the world. I watched in awe as my son was born and all the pride of being a daddy again filled my soul. We weren’t sure how Ella would handle it, but she welcomed him with open arms.

They still did not have a photographer at the hospital, so we went to JC Penney to have some newborn pictures taken. AJ looks spiffy in his outfit!

While this wasn’t Ella’s first Halloween, it was the first real Trick or Treating adventure for her. She was happy that big brother was there to walk with her. AJ was obviously way too young to attempt to go out this year.

November

Fall walks are among my favorites. I love looking at the colors. Ella and I took many fall walks and there were many instances where she’d just play in a pile of leaves! AJ kept us all busy and so it was just Ella and I making the trip to Bronner’s to get his ornament for the Christmas tree. We enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving at home and got the house ready for Christmas.

December

The final month of the year brought many happy memories. Professional Christmas pictures, my annual reading of Dickens, AJ turned 2 months old, a visit from Papa and Grandma, Christmas Eve with my boys, Holiday lights at Crossroads, our first Christmas as a family of four, and the anticipation of a brand new year.

Blog highlights included my entries to the 2021 Song Draft, salutes to Soupy Sales, my grandpa, and Ernie Harwell, a guest blog from my pal Max, silly blogs about hats and Bernie Sanders’ mittens, fishing memories, my favorite Twilight Zone episodes, and a blog about an amazing cartoon Dog Dad.

There were many sad moments in 2021. I lost classmates and friends to cancer, heart disease, and of course, Covid. If the past two years have taught me anything, it is that life is precious and another day is not promised. You never know when it will be the “last picture,” the “last phone call,” or the “last visit.” It takes me make to that quote that my band director wrote on the grease board my senior year. I have quoted it many times. “Live every day as if it were your last. Someday, you’ll be right.”

Life is too short. Live. Laugh. Love.

As we welcome 2022, I pray that it is a good year for all of us. May we find it full of happiness and good health. May God bless you and yours in the upcoming year.

Get ready. The Book of 2022 awaits. Grab your pen and turn to page (January) 1.