My Heart is Full

Recently I posted a blog that was difficult to write. It was regarding some things with my son. It dealt with some hurt I was sorting through. I am happy to say that I was able to see him today.

He is currently having difficulty with a summer school math class. He asked if he could come over and see if I could help him. I told him that I would do my best, but math – algebra, in particular – was certainly not by best subject.

Last night at work, I had a patient who was a no-show. Honestly, I wanted to pack up and head home immediately. However, there were studies that needed to be scored and submitted, so I stayed and did that. I was able to leave work about two hours early. When I got home everyone was still sleeping, and rather than crawl in bed with Sam (who had Andrew sleeping next to her), I went out to the couch and fell asleep.

When they woke up, they came out and woke me up. I helped Sam with some things and then went to bed so that I could at least have some sleep before my son arrived. I had told my ex to bring him over at around the kid’s nap time so that I could work with him. To my surprise, my oldest son wound up bringing him over.

We got to spend a bit talking about some things that needed to be addressed (some of the things in the previous blog), and just catching up. My oldest son was going to meet me at where we normally do drop off and pick up later this evening.

My son and I spent about 3 and a half hours looking at problems and searching my old college algebra books to see if we could figure out how to do them. I even called my buddy from school who is my “go to” math guy a couple times to see if he could help. We didn’t do fantastic, and I hope that it is good enough for him to pass the class.

Sam left for work about 5:30 and I packed up the kids around 6 to head to the drop off. When I arrived, my son was already there. He is in college, has a job, and is always with his friends, so Ella and Andrew rarely get to see him. Ella knows who he is because of pictures on the wall. She prays every night for her big and little brothers.

She was in her car seat and I rolled her window down so she could say hello. She asked to get out because she wanted to hug my oldest. Is was so cute. I naturally took Andrew out of his seat too, because my son wanted to hold him. He commented that he had the bluest eyes. He was surprised when I told him he was walking. I told him they are getting big very fast and he should come over to visit more.

It was the first opportunity in forever that all four of my kids were together in one place. My oldest tried to snap a selfie, which was cute, but I wanted a picture of all of them.

We found a place in the parking lot where they could all sit and after a few tries to get everyone looking at the camera – I got one. It is perfect. All four of them together.

My blessings – Andrew, Dimitri, Ella, and Dante’

I am overwhelmed with joy as I look at this photo. I never really understood unconditional love until I became a father. I understand how God loves me, despite all of my faults and screw-ups, unconditionally. I understand it, because, I will always love these amazing kids that way – no matter what.

One of the coolest moments happened after the picture was taken. I mentioned to Ella that the boys had to get going because they were going to stop by a classic car show. She said ok, and when they stood up, as my oldest began to walk, she ran up to him and grabbed his hand and held it all the way to the car!

I was so glad I still had my phone in my hand so I could capture it. He helped her into her car seat and actually buckled her in as I got Andrew in his seat. She looked at him and said, “I love you, Dante’!” which I think really took him by surprise. He said “I love you, too!” and then she told Dimitri she loved him too. What an amazing moment to witness. They both went to Andrew and and he smiled at them, before we all got in our cars and left to go home.

After we video chatted with mommy at work, we decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. Ella was excited because she got to see 4 puppies who were out walking while we were. She had to get out of her seat and say hello to them all!

We came home and it was bedtime, so I helped her brush her teeth ad within minutes of hitting the pillow, she was asleep. Andrew took a bit longer to fall asleep. As soon as they were down, I fixed a salad and began typing this. I’ve only had 3 hours sleep today and really should have just gone to bed …. However, I wanted to share my happiness while I was still smiling about it.

Tonight, I head to bed with a heart full of love, joy, gratitude, understanding, and happiness!

Thanks for reading.

He’s Here!

Our son made his entrance into the world this week! As you know, there were a few times that we actually thought he’d be arriving very early. Needless to say, there was a lot of stress.

For the past three weeks, every time Sam had her OB/GYN appointment, I was ready with bags at the door. I knew that at any time, the doc could say that he was going to induce. Sam had a rough go this pregnancy. She had high blood pressure, and a few other things that may have led to an induction.

Thursday – Last Week (10-7)

The doctor visit the week before had the doc on the fence. Do we induce or not? After this appointment, he was pretty sure that the baby was going to come that weekend. Just to be safe, he scheduled an induction for Monday morning (10-11). Sam called me on her way home from the appointment and told me she was coming home.

I worked Wednesday night, so I stayed up anticipating us going to the hospital. When she got home, I went to sleep so I could get some rest before work. Every night last week, I was on edge, I had my phone on me awaiting the call. The doc had already told us that if the water broke, things were going to progress quickly. I work an hour away, so I was very worried. The last two nights, I only had one patient, so that if I had to leave, my coworkers wouldn’t be overwhelmed.

Sunday (10-10)

It became very obvious over the weekend that Sam was struggling. She was not feeling well and was in more pain than she had been in. We debated taking Ella to Nana and Papa’s Sunday night so we could just get up and go, but we elected to keep her home. Ella must have known something was up, because she spent lots of time snuggling mommy on the couch and daddy in my chair. It was wonderful.

After Ella went down for bed, Sam and I gathered what we needed and had everything ready by the door. Sam got very emotional, as any mom would. Things were going to change. We were going to have another little one at home. The “what ifs” start running through your head and those only make you a nervous wreck. It was all we could do to actually fall asleep.

Monday – Induction Day

We were all up at 4:30am Monday. Induction was set for 7am.

We got Ella up and took her to Nana’s. We got to her house at 6am. We had to call the hospital at 6 to make sure that they were still going to do the induction. Thankfully, we were still set. When we left, Ella really wasn’t sure what was happening, but she did well.

We stopped to grab a bite to eat, because once you get to the room, Sam wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything except ice chips. We arrived at the hospital about 15 minutes early and they checked us in and got us to our room. By 8am, the induction process began.

Sam had been dilated to 2 or 3 for about three weeks and nothing happened. They checked her again and she was still the same. Once they got her IV in (which was a challenge because she was so dehydrated), they gave her some pill which was supposed to thin the cervix and help kick start things. The pill takes about 4 hours to work, so they really never even came to check until then.

At about noon they came in and checked her and things were progressing. She was actually starting to feel some contractions toward the end of the fourth hour. They did not start Pitocin yet. They wanted to wait an hour or so and see how things were going. About 1pm they came back in and said that they would need to start the Pitocin. At about this time, Sam was given her epidural.

When they checked her she was still dilated to about 2 or 3. The waiting was driving me crazy! At one point, they knew she was contracting, but couldn’t really tell the intensity of them, and they added some sort of pressure thingy that went up next to the baby’s head. This showed the staff exactly what they needed.

A little after 6pm, she was dilated to 4. Most OB/GYN’s will tell you that you kinda “stall” at 4 and are there for awhile. I was watching the little strip that the fetal monitor was printing and I could see the contractions getting more consistent and more intense. Sam was actually starting to feel them, unlike with Ella. 40 minutes later they checked her and she was obviously ready, because the nurse looked surprised. She told one of the other nurses, “get him on the phone and tell him we’re gonna start pushing!”

My rock star wife went from 4cm to 10 cm in 40 minutes! As they got the rest of the room ready for delivery, we got ready to start pushing. The doc walked in just as Sam was getting ready to start. Once she started pushing, it became pretty clear that it wouldn’t be long. As the baby started to come out, there looked like there might be a problem and the doc told my wife that he was going to need the vacuum to help get the baby out due to the fact that he was turned a bit and that his hand was up next to his head.

As he mentioned this, she started to have another contraction and the nurse told her to push through it. She did and that was all our son needed and he was out. It was truly amazing to witness. My wife only pushed for 7 minutes! 7 minutes!!!! The doc handed me the scissors and I cut the cord, which is always a memorable moment. I noticed that the baby wasn’t crying. That freaked me out a bit. It freaked Sam out even more.

As they were cleaning him off, I heard a little cry, but nothing like I had heard with my other children. Once he was cleaned off, they brought him over to Sam for skin to skin time. There was our second little miracle and he was perfect!

Holding mommy’s hand

While I was pacing the floor, I posted on Facebook that people should give their guesses as to what time he’d be born and how much he would weigh. My friend Sharon from high school almost nailed it! She was closest with her guess of 7:11pm and 7 pounds 11 ounces. She was only off by 4 minutes and 4 ounces.

My boy!

When she was born, my daughter looked just like Sam. My son, however, tends to look a lot like me. I say that because he was making what I call “Grumpy Old Man” faces. One of the first pictures I took of him, he has the funniest grumpy look on his face. Even in the picture above, he looks a bit angry. The picture from his birthday that just cracks me up, and reminds me of a look I would make, is this one:

Grumpy!

I love that look and pose!

They keep you in the hospital for 24 hours and then they want to discharge you, as long as nothing is wrong. My son was jaundice and so they kept checking levels. The same thing happened with Ella and she would up being readmitted to the hospital after discharge. We wanted to avoid that at all costs if possible.

They came in at about the 24 hour mark and said that the levels weren’t bad and that we could go if we wanted to. They said if we left, we’d need to follow up with our pediatrician in the morning and have blood drawn again to check levels. We opted to stay one more night so they could check levels first thing in the morning.

Ready to go home

Wednesday morning the levels were fine and we were discharged. It was time for the little man to meet his big sister! We had video chatted with her a couple times and showed her the baby. “Baby!” she would say, but not really comprehending that this baby was her brother and would be coming home with us.

We were lucky that we were able to get discharged fairly quickly that morning. We headed straight to Nana’s to pick up our little princess. She hadn’t seen us almost three days. When we walked in the house, she screamed happily and clapped her hands. She was SO happy to see us. Then it was time to introduce her to AJ.

Not sure what to think….

I’m sure that there was a lot of confusion at that particular moment. She had a lot to process. Nana and Papa got to hold their grandson before we left to go home. The ride home was unusually quiet. For me, it was weird because as I looked in the rearview mirror, it was the first time that both kids were back there. It was an eyeopener!

When we got home, Ella seemed a little more comfortable. I know she still really has no clue how to process it all, but she seemed generally happy to have the baby home. I will be framing this picture – I think it is just marvelous!

Sibling love

We were up early again today for well visits for both kids. They both are doing great!

The events of the past week only reinforce what a lucky man I am. I am so blessed!

There was so much more I wanted to write, but AJ kinda sums up what we all feel like over here….

Goodnight, friends!