Reflecting on 2019 …

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As the year draws to a close, I have pondered about what I wanted to write about.  Some of the blogs I follow have posted “Year End” Top Ten lists featuring their 10 most read blogs of the year.  Others have written rants about the old year, and posted resolutions for the new year.  Yet another blogger posted a 50 question “Year End Reflection” post, where he answered questions about the old year and the new year.

It is often very easy to diss on the year as it draws to a close.  I do it often.  In the last week or so I have heard so many people talk about how awful 2019 was and how they cannot wait for the new year, so they can start fresh.  I used to do that, too.  Granted, I know many people who truly have endured a very bad year.  I know too many people whose parents have passed away, gone through a divorce, survived terrible accidents, lost their jobs, and many other things.  I can totally understand how looking back can be difficult.

I think it is often easier to focus on the bad things, because those are the things that tend to stay with you.  Personally, I made a list of some things that I recalled from the past year that could go onto the “bad things” list.  I then decided to make a list of all the good things.  Jotting down things from memory, it was no surprise that the good list outnumbered the bad.  To further the point, I grabbed my phone and went back through a year’s worth of pictures and was reminded of many other things that happened, which all ended up on the “good things” list.

Quick Review of My Year

In January, Sam and I went to the Detroit Opera House with my dad, Rose, and my cousin Dianne to see The Phantom of the Opera.  I had never seen it before and I loved it.  Since Sam talked me into seeing Wicked last year, I have come to appreciate some of these wonderful productions.

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In March, Sam and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary with a trip to Cleveland.  Many joked about the fact that we went to Ohio, and I can see how that might be funny.  We really had a great time at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and a visit to The Christmas Story House.  As a bonus, we got to grab dinner with my brother while we were down there.

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April brought about a couple celebrations.  My son, Dante’ turned 17 and we had a small get together with his friends at our house.  It was quite a loud party with all of his friends there!  Then we celebrated Sam’s graduation on the west side of the state.  I still beam with pride at all she has accomplished!

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May was a busy month.  My nieces and nephew ran us ragged at Peppa Pig World, Dimitri was in good voice at his choir concert, and the boys and I went with my father-in-law, and brothers-in-law to the Three Stooges Festival in Redford.  I also celebrated another birthday, and Sam bought me the most amazing gift – a record player.  I have since enjoyed looking at used record stores for more vinyl to play on it.  That gift also led to Sam and I sharing our first dance together.

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Summer was very busy!  I got the chance to golf with my friends Matt and Shawn,  went to the zoo and the beach with the boys, went to carnivals, visited many ice cream places, played mini-golf, and had many bonfires!  In June, I spoke at a Sleep Conference in Detroit, we celebrated Dimitri’s Birthday,  Sam’s birthday, and she shared the news that we were expecting.  This is one of many favorite memories of the year!

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In July, we went to our OB/GYN and got the first glimpse of our baby.  At this point, we did not know the gender, and were calling her “Baby P”.  On August 30, we decided to go to a place near us that would be able to tell us the gender a bit earlier than our OB/GYN.  It was at this appointment that we found out we were having a girl.  This would be another of my favorite memories of the year.  In August, we also took Dante’ around town on the hottest day of the year to try to get some Senior pictures taken, and shared with my dad that he would soon be holding a granddaughter. It was also fun to have the boys go on a scavenger hunt to find out they were getting a sister!

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In September, I spent the day at a work conference called “The Power to Choose”, which was a truly wonderful experience.  There were many great speakers and I was so glad to be able to attend.  I walked away from this day with some great tools to use with patients and in life in general. On September 25, we got “official” confirmation from our OB/GYN, that Baby P was indeed a girl!

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My brother visited us in October, and Sam allowed me to take Baby Bump Picture #1.  Baby Bump Picture #2 came in November in front of the Christmas tree – a picture that I will treasure forever!  November was very busy as we were showered with love from family and friends at the baby shower.  We took our annual trip to Bronner’s Christmas Wonderland and bought our yearly ornament for the Christmas tree.  We enjoyed the Christmas light display at the Detroit Zoo, and construction began on the baby’s bedroom/nursery.

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December brought my staff Christmas party, which was full of hearty laughter!  Sam and I attended our birthing classes, and I learned how to breathe (and hopefully not pass out).  We celebrated Christmas with the boys on Christmas Eve, spent time with Sam’s family Christmas Day, and celebrated with my dad and Rose over the weekend.  I have spent way too much time at work, due to where the holidays fell.  I have also been working some extra shifts at one radio station, and doing my normal shift at the other radio station.  In between all of that, we’ve been sanding and painting the new hallway and the baby’s room (only adding to the excitement of her arrival!).

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As I look back, I am inclined to quote Frank Sinatra and say “It was a VERY good year!” Have you taken the time to really look back at the things that happened over the last year?  One thing that I noticed about the “bad things” on my list was that I was surrounded by good friends, and family who helped me through those “bad” times.  That, in itself, takes a bad and makes it sort of good, right?

Frank Sinatra also sang, “Regrets?  I’ve had a few…”  One of the daily writing prompts for December asked “What is biggest regret of the past year?”  I would say stopping Weight Watchers.  I am in no way, shape, or form blaming Sam, but I gotta tell you…it’s hard to diet when you live with a pregnant person.  Yeah, I know, I should be able to control myself, but all too often, when I went out to get her something she was craving…I got something, too!  LOL.  I have already resolved to get “back on the wagon” after the first of the year!

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In closing, I hope that each one of my readers can look back over 2019, and find some really good times!  I hope you can recall happy memories.  I hope you can find the good that accompanied the bad.  I hope you can find the positives, and focus on those things.  2020 brings a new year, a new “book” if you will.  That “book” contains 365 pages and YOU are the author of each page.  I am looking forward to writing our books together.  Feel free to reach out if you ever need a friend – I am here!

May 2020 be a happy and healthy year!  May it be full of joy and happiness!  May it be full of friends and family!  May it be positively the best yet!

Thanks for reading!  Cheers!

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Daddy’s Little Girl

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The past 16 weeks have been very exciting for Sam and me.  It has been especially nice to have this blog as a place that I can write things down and look back on later.  My last blog told of the ultrasound, finding out the baby’s gender, and how we shared the news.  I am writing today’s blog because something was missing from my last one – I’ll explain in just a minute.

First, let me say that we are overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and congratulations we have received from our friends and family.  It was fun to tease that a gender reveal was coming and watch friends post their guesses on Facebook.  I was reminded how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends as they sent private messages, texts, and called with congratulations.  Thank you all!

So what was missing from the last blog?  It was a lengthy blog, so what could I have possibly left out?  Sam pointed out that I had certainly written about a lot of things that happened over the weekend, however, I really never said much about how I felt.  I shared about watching the ultrasound, how I told my dad and the boys, but how do I feel about it?  What am I feeling?  I don’t know that I can put it all into words, but I will try.

Elation.  Joy.  Excitement.  Delight.  Jubilation. 

I mean, how can I NOT feel these things!?  I was told that there was only a 4% chance of me being able to have a baby, and then, the amazing news that we are having a baby – well, that makes you pretty damn happy!  I’ve been given the opportunity to be a dad again – and this time, I’m having a little girl!

Over the years, I have been an uncle to many nieces, and have loved every minute of it.  I have danced around in a princess crown for them, gone to Peppa Pig World, read girly bedtime stories, and made puppet monkeys talk.  Having a daughter takes things to a whole new level!

First girl

I had always hoped that when I had children that I would have one of each.  I wanted a boy to play sports with and a girl to walk down the aisle.  I was blessed with two amazing sons, who I loved playing catch with.  I love those boys with all that I am.  I was NEVER unhappy that I had boys.  They each have very distinct personalities.  They are both very smart.  As I look at all they have accomplished, I beam with great pride.  I am honored to have been chosen to be their dad!!

12 years later, after many changes in my life, I am once again about to become a father.  This time, I will be “daddy” to a little girl.  What a great responsibility this is!  I will not lie about this – as happy as I am, I am also scared as hell!!!

Scary things

Boys could get away with 2 or 3 pairs of pants.  All you really needed were a bunch of shirts and you could be set.  Girls are different!  They need pants, shirts, leggings, shoes, and many, many dresses!

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I hope Sam knows that she will probably be picking out most of the clothes!  I have a feeling what I think is “cute” really isn’t!

Have you seen the Xfinity commercial where the girl is dressing up her dad??

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I would TOTALLY let my daughter do this!  Now, if I have to do nails or makeup, I have this awful feeling that it will look something like this guy!  I have never had to paint nails before.  I don’t know how to put on eyeliner, blush, or any type of makeup.  I will definitely need a crash course!!!

Let’s not even talk about her hair!  I used to do my own hair, and now I am bald! How on earth am I going to be able to do her hair?  With the boys, I brushed it, combed it, or parted it.  This isn’t how it works with girls!!  Have you seen the gazillion ways to braid hair?!

There is this:

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And this:

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And this:

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And this:

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The braid is hard enough!!  I gotta make a heart, too?!? The pressure is unreal!!!!

Then there is play time.  Very different from boys.  I have never EVER hosted a tea party …

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Whew!  I’m glad there is a book!!!

Another scary thing is diaper changes.

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It’s a whole new ball game for me!  It’s been some time since I changed diapers, and I know it will all come back to me … this time, however, the parts are different!!

Then there is GLITTER!  Man, I really hate glitter!  It stays with you for years!  LOL

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Sports

Sam asked what sports I thought our daughter should do.  Me, being a guy, thought about what I had already done with the boys.  Hey, girls, do these things!!!

T-Ball – How cool are pink bats and gloves??!!

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Bowling – Some of the high school’s have girl bowling teams!  I gotta tell you, these gals bowled better than some of the guys I bowled with over the years!

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Golf – I knew a gal who golfed for the high school team.  She was pretty amazing!  How good was she?  I never golfed with her, because I knew she’d beat the hell out of me!  Golf, like bowling, had scholarships, too, so why not?!

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Sam must have thought I was crazy!  She said that she was thinking about gymnastics – which after she said it, made total sense!  Of course, our girl could do gymnastics!  I can see her at the Olympics!  Our little gold medal winner!  Of course, I won’t let this guy teach her …. this doesn’t look right ….

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One of the things I can see her doing is dance.  My nieces do dance now.  Whether it is ballet or just dance in general, I can totally see our daughter doing it.

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Sam has already warned me that girls in dance class have to have many outfit changes.  Tutus, ballet slippers, tap shoes, bows, leotards, and more!  Yeah, I’ll be out in the audience doing all the moves with her (minus the leotards).

In all seriousness

I won’t lie, raising a child in the world today is very scary.  Hell, it was scary before my oldest was born (9/11 happened just 7 months before he was born)!  As a father, I know that my daughter will be looking to me for many things.  I hope that she sees me as her hero!

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I hope she will see me as her protector and as someone she can always trust.  I hope she will feel comfortable to share what ever is on her mind, and come to me for advice.  I cannot wait to share that special bond and special love that a daughter and dad have.

Things I am looking forward to

  • Her first cry
  • Her first photo shoot
  • Her first words
  • Her first tooth
  • Her first steps
  • Holding her in my arms
  • Singing her to sleep
  • Hugging her
  • Piggy back rides on my shoulders

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  • Reading bedtime stories
  • Holding hands
  • Buying her whatever she wants (Sam says she’s hiding the checkbook)

The list goes on and on.

So am I feeling?

I am overjoyed!  I am ecstatic!  I could not be happier that I am going to be a dad again!!

I am also scared.  I worry.  I am told this is natural.

I am nervous.  I don’t want to fail or disappoint.

I am anxious.  I look forward to all the firsts, all the accomplishments, and milestones.

Final Thought

Over the past 30 years, I have DJ’s thousands of weddings and hundreds of Daddy/Daughter dances!  At weddings, I have watched countless times as two special people shared their moment in the spotlight. At Daddy/Daughter dances, I have watched dads wonder just what their little girl is screaming about when Justin Beiber or Taylor Swift start playing.  I have then watched as they finally get a slow song to dance with their little girl.

As a father of boys, I never understood the bond or the feelings involved with those dances.  I know I have a few years yet, but time will fly and soon enough I will be able to relate to those dads I have watched over the years.  To say I am excited as I look forward to that first dance … is quite an understatement.

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