Everyone Knows It’s Windy

We have a high wind advisory in effect for the area tonight. The temperatures are still nice, so I opened the windows to enjoy the breeze.

The TV is on in the background and the kids and I are on the floor playing when I hear this huge wind gust. It was big. That was followed by a very loud bang, which scared all three of us.

I got up from the floor and looked out the window to see that the wind had rolled my barbecue about 6 feet. It also flipped open the lid, which is what cause the bang. I had been meaning to put the grill in the garage for the winter anyway, so I told the kids I’d be right back. I went outside to move it into the garage and that’s when I saw the funniest and sort of frightening thing.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see movement in the dark. As I look over, I realize that is is the trampoline “walking” along the grass at about 4-5 mph! That thing was at least 40 or 50 back from where I saw it and the wind was “pushing” it.

Panic hits me. We had one trampoline end up in the street a few years back. When that happened, I bought those screw -in-the ground spikes for dog chains and bought some heavy duty chain. I screwed it in to the ground and that helped keep it still. However, the last couple times I mowed the grass, I moved the trampoline and didn’t secure it again.

As I am watching the wind push that thing across my yard and toward a variety of things (swing set, neighbor’s house, trees, my car, and the road) the panic tells me, “You’ve got to stop that thing!!” I ran toward it, looking for the screw spike things. I see one in the dark and grab for it. I stick it as hard as I can in the ground and twist.

The wind is strong and despite the one spike being in, the trampoline still wants to be airborne. I have to find the other spike, so I run to the other side. That spike was rusted, so there wasn’t much silver to see it easily. I finally see the chain in the leg and follow it to the spike. I jab it into the ground and twisted.

Now “secure” I do a walk around and see the legs in the front are kind of buckling under. Not sure it’s going to be salvageable. The wind is still gusting, so I wonder if I have anything in the garage that I can put on the rest of the legs to prevent it from going anywhere else.

I walk into the garage and see I have four 50 pound bags of lime I didn’t use on the lawn. So now I am running from garage to trampoline with those bags. I throw them down and go back inside to my kids who have probably just watched the most ridiculous thing ever from the window.

As I write this, the wind is still kicking up and is knocking limbs off trees, taking care of any leaves hanging on to its tree, and blowing any plastic play toys across the yard. When I wake up in the morning, I will hope that the trampoline is still where I left it. I will also sleep lightly in case the local police knock on the door at 3 or 4 am….

“Excuse me for waking you, sir, but is that your trampoline!?*