Happy Thoughts

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I once heard someone say, “In a world of darkness – be the light.”   If I may alter that quote just a bit … “In a world of negativity – be the positive.”  You wouldn’t know it, but it has been a very challenging couple weeks for me.  I just have to keep reminding myself that “some people are just not happy unless they are trying to make others unhappy.”

Here are some things that made me happy this week:

Bless You Boys!

I was reminded that 35 years ago this week, the Detroit Tigers beat the San Diego Padres in the 1984 World Series.  Remembering that amazing season always brings a smile to my face.  In the final game, Kirk Gibson faced Goose Gossage.  There was some chatting at the mound because they couldn’t decide whether or not to walk him or pitch to him.  Gibby launched an amazing homerun off him!  I can still remember Vin Scully calling it by saying, “And there it goes!!!!”  Pandemonium!  I rewatched that video more than once this week!

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Autumn Leaves

The leaves are changing.  Fall is probably my favorite season.  It makes me think of high school homecoming parades and football games.  It makes me think of Alumni Band.  It makes me think of sitting around bonfires in hooded sweatshirts.  It makes me think of those last few weekends up north closing up the trailer for winter.  I love the beauty of autumn.  Here in Michigan, we have such wonderful fall colors.  I love to walk outside in the fall and just get lost in thought.  Fall makes me happy.

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Here’s Johnny!

This month Sirius XM Radio has a Johnny Carson channel (105) and they are playing old episodes of The Tonight Show.  I cannot even begin to tell you how much I am loving these!  Johnny was the best.  These dated monologues are still funny today!  Today, I laughed a little bit harder than I should have at one of the jokes.  He was talking about a previous joke he did about McDonalds.  He then asked “Have you ever been to the Beverly Hills (California) McDonalds?  They serve escargot there.  They call them, McSlugs!”

Listening to his reactions to when a joke bombs is just hilarious!  His banter with Ed and Doc is also very funny.  It’s been great to hear classic interviews with Mel Brooks, Eli Wallach, Buddy Hackett, Don Rickles and more!  It’s also been neat to hear some of the early stand up from Jerry Seinfeld, Ellen DeGeneres, Garry Shandling, and others.  He was a master – and he still makes me laugh.

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Baby Kicks

I have saved the best thing for last.  My wife is 22 weeks along now and she has been feeling our baby move.  Earlier in the week, she started to feel baby kicks.  We were lying in bed this week and she said the baby was kicking.  She placed my hand exactly where she was feeling them, and I felt her kick!  It was light, but it was there!

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I don’t care how many times I feel it, it still amazes me!  My wife feels her move a whole lot more than me, so to feel this little “bump” against my palm makes me more and more excited for her arrival!  It gets more and more real as we get closer.  I get emotional thinking about it.  She’s going to be here soon!  We’ll be able to hold her and kiss her.  I’ve been creating my “Bedtime Song List” for her.  There are some favorites that I sang with my boys when they were babies, and I will be singing them for her too.  I probably need to start working on “Daddy’s Little Girl” and “My Special Angel” – songs that I obviously couldn’t sing to my boys!

February will be here before we know it – and I am sure there will be many stories to be shared about her here!

Final Thought

It really isn’t hard to find things that make you happy.  Look around – they are right there!  Find the happy & SMILE!

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The Power to Choose

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It feels like forever since I sat down to write a blog, yet it has only been a week. This week I am flipping from midnights to days, back to midnights, and then back to days with a day off in between each. Needless to say, I am exhausted and have to remind myself what day it is!

The reason for my flipping shifts this week is due to a conference. The hospital I work for hosted a day long conference called “The Power to Choose.” The objectives of the conference were to (1) help build trusting relationships with patients and family, (2) help you make mindful decisions that help you foster enhanced patient, family and staff experiences and outcomes, and (3) illustrate and help apply approaches that improve outcomes through compassion and communication. One of my goals for this year was to gain more knowledge by attending these classes. It is difficult to do when you work midnights and most of these are during the day. My boss worked with me to make sure I got all my hours this week, and the conference was worth it.

The Power To Choose

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The daylong conference was geared toward health care professionals, and while many of the topics were directly focused on the healthcare setting, there were many things that I took away from the conference that apply to every day life. Those are the things that moved me to sit down and write. I chose to write about this because (1) I don’t want to forget these things and (2) maybe it is something that YOU can use in your daily life (or at work), too.

The conference opened with four employees sharing stories. Some were more emotional than others. The one that struck me the most was from a nurse who spoke of a male patient whose loved one was in the hospital and was always Googling and suggesting what needed to be done. She said it was like he “put on the boxing gloves” every time she walked in. It wasn’t until her son was diagnosed with a disease, that she began to see things from that patient’s point of view. Nurses and doctors were taking care of his “prized possession”, and it wasn’t until she shared his role that she really understood. She also wanted to put on the “gloves” and fight for what was best for her son. She had asked him to trust her because she “knew what she was doing” and now she was forced to trust the people caring for her son.

Next, there was a woman who works at the Cleveland Clinic. Her presentation was about communication skills that can be used when something goes wrong – in the industry we call it “service recovery.” In her presentation she stated “it all starts with empathy”. There is so much truth to this. Imagine how much better the world would be if we all showed a bit more empathy to each other!!

We live in a world where we relate to stereotypes. We judge a book by it’s cover, even though the famous quote says not to do this. I honestly don’t know if they showed this video when I started here or at another health system, but it was SO powerful! I encourage you to watch it all the way through and to reflect on it. Coincidentally, it comes from the Cleveland Clinic.

I realize that the video was geared toward health care, but stop and think about how this very well could have been a video shot on the streets of Everytown, USA! Think of the people you pass in the mall, or on the street, or at the grocery store. What is going on in their world today?

We were next shown a video that was a part of TED Talk. In the video, we meet a man named Alex Sheen. He tells the story of his father and explains that he was a man who always kept his promises. When his father died, he created “promise cards”. On the bottom of the card it reads “because I said I would.” Here is that video:

We then opened an envelope that had cards that read “because I said I would” and we were to write our own promises on them. Some people at our table wrote immediately, while a few of us took awhile to think of the promise we wanted to write. The idea is to keep you accountable. I, admittedly, am bad about following through with things. I am guilty of telling someone I will call them, and either get busy or forget. The card is a way to remind yourself of the promise. On my card, I wrote:

“I promise to stay positive and avoid negativity”

Quite a tall order, but I have now made that promise and I intend to keep it.

There was an extra blank card on my table. Because I like to make people laugh, I wrote something on it and walked over to where my boss was sitting during the break. I held up the sign which read:

“I promise not to drive my boss crazy!”

She laughed and snapped a picture. What makes this even funnier is the “official photographer for the event saw my boss and me and asked to take our pictures … with each of us holding up our signs. If any of my coworkers or fellow hospital employees see it – I REALLY did write a serious one!!!

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After lunch, Stephen Trzeciak, the author of the book “Compassionomics” spoke. His talk was full of data and statistics that illustrate the power of compassion. I plan on getting the book to read in the near future.

One of the things that he stated in his talk was that the data shows: “loneliness kills”. In connection with this, I stumbled on an article about a photographer who took pictures of people without their cell phones to illustrate how dependent we have become on them and just how lonely we are. Notice the loss of human connection in these pictures. Here is a link to the article:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3270660/Communication-problems-Photographer-removes-mobile-phones-images-couples-families-expose-just-addicted-technology-become.html

Dr. Shajahan

The highlight of the conference for me was the talk that Dr. Shajahan did on “Unconscious Bias”. I took more notes from this talk than all of them. Her talk was very interactive, informative, and fun.

The first thing she did was play us a video illustrating the McGurk Effect. Look it up. It’s actually very cool. Wiki says: The McGurk effect is a perceptual phenomenon that demonstrates an interaction between hearing and vision in speech perception. The illusion occurs when the auditory component of one sound is paired with the visual component of another sound, leading to the perception of a third sound.”

There are videos on YouTube that illustrate this. Watch one with your eyes closed – you’ll hear one thing. Then listen to it with your eyes open and you’ll hear something else. It’s very neat.

She went on to talk about conscious and unconscious bias and how they can affect how we treat others. Another “exercise” was given. She showed us pictures of various people and we had to rate how “warm” and “competent” we thought they were only by the pictures! There was a picture of a guy who wore a scowl. Not very warm. He had a shirt and tie on, so he had to be competent, right? Well, we found out the guy gives 82% of his salary away to charity every year – I guess he was warmer than we thought! The cute little old lady she showed us actually turned out to be some really crooked and mean politician! What did I say earlier about judging a book by it’s cover???

So, how biased are you? Dr. Shajahan told us that we could find out by taking the Harvard Implicit Association Test (the IAT). I haven’t done so yet, but it is something I am going to do this weekend. Here is a link to the test:

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html

She spoke of how in classical music, most musicians in an orchestra were male. When blind auditions were held, 5 times more females were included into the orchestra! There was a bias that men were better players.

In another exercise, she put up on the big screen four people. These people varied in race, education, citizenship, gender, sexual orientation, status, with and without children, addictions and/or disabilities. Each was represented by a color. In the auditorium, four colors were held up. First, you had to go to the color of the person you’d most like to be. The room was pretty divided and people were asked why they chose that person. Then it got harder. Next we had to go to the person we’d least like to be – and explain why.

She spoke of ways to reduce bias.

  1. Individuation – seeing others as people. Individuate instead of generalizing. Go beyond race and stereotypes and get to know the person.
  2. Counter-stereotyping. Basically, counter the stereotype – cancel it out. The example she used was “Black people are dumb” to which you could counter with “Barak Obama or Martin Luther King were pretty smart.” See? Counter the stereotype.
  3. Increase the awareness of the type. Familiarize yourself with a group or race that you don’t know much about. For example, I don’t know much about Arabic culture. So I can ask questions of one of my coworkers, or take a cooking class that is geared toward Middle Eastern foods where I can interact with people who disconfirm the stereotype.
  4. Replace the stereotype. First you label the response or portrayal as stereotypical. Second, you evaluate it and think of how it can be avoided in the future. Finally, replace the stereotypical response with a non-stereotypical one.
  5. Perspective talking. Simple enough – put yourself in their shoes. Think of how you would feel if you were labeled as a stereotype. My Polish friend has a degree from the University of Michigan and is one of the smartest guys I know. He is nothing like the people portrayed in Polish jokes. Same with female blondes – they are not all dumb! How would you feel if you were stereotyped?

She wrapped up her talk with a fact – we all have biases. We need to be aware of them. She had a flow chart that I will attempt to recreate here:

SELF AWARENESS

WHAT? (We all have bias) ——-> SO WHAT? (It affects people negatively) ——-> NOW WHAT?? (We have the power to choose to do something about it!)

Watch this short video that was shared at the conference:

I LOVE THIS!!!

Words Matter!

Everything we do involves a choice. We choose what pants to wear. We choose what to eat. We choose what to say. Every day is full of choices and we have the power to choose to make a difference.

They wrapped the conference with some quotes –

“Follow hope – not fear”

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” – Nelson Mandella

In Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Dumbledore says to Harry: “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

In Conclusion

So what can you take away from this serious blog? I hope a lot. You have the power to make a choice today to make a difference. Show empathy and compassion to others. Choose to be aware of bias. Choose to not judge a book by its cover.

The other day, I drove through Tim Horton’s and was informed that my coffee had been paid for by the car ahead of me. Some stranger did that for me. It made me smile. It made me grateful. It made me want to do the same for the car behind me – which I did. There is so much hate in the world today. Share a smile today. Make someone feel good!

Maya Angelou’s quote has always been one I have held close to my heart. I used it as a reminder when I was doing my radio show, but it applies to daily life, too.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

At the conference, each person in attendance received a rock. On the rock was the word “Choice”. We were told to place it somewhere where we would always see it. The purpose is for it to be a constant reminder that we always have the “power to choose”. So do you.

choice

Get the “funk” out!

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I am not going to lie, this past week has been a roller coaster of ups and downs.  Whether or not there was more bad than good this week, I really can’t say.  It “feels like” there was a bit more negatives, though, hence the “funk” I was in this morning. I am hoping that this blog will act as a “redirection” in my thinking.

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I read an article a long time ago that talked about the “five to one” rule.  I want to say that it was about relationships.  The basic thing presented in the article was that in order for a person to get over a single “negative”, there needed to be at least five “positives” to counteract it.

Recently, my therapist has had me do something similar.  Focus on the positives.  Think of five positives, or five things that make me happy.  Rather than just “think” about those things, I thought I would benefit from writing them out.  The following may be simply a positive, something that made me happy, or a mixture of both.

1. Waking up next to my love

After a particularly stressful early part of the week, my sleep was a bit messed up.  When this happens, I tend to wake up earlier than I intend to.  As I lay next to my wife, I found myself thinking about how lucky I am.  I watched her sleeping soundly and I found lost in thoughts about just how beautiful she is.  In my mind, verses of poetry started to come so fast, I had to grab a piece of paper to write them down.  I made sure to write them out and give them to her the next morning.

What an amazing blessing she has been to me!  I am so lucky that I get to kiss her goodnight and good morning every day!

2. Possibilities

My ex used to question why I had so many Facebook friends.  My friends on social media range from school friends to college friends, friends who work/worked in radio and television and friends who I met through working in radio.  Then there are friends from the record industry, author friends, and friends from the entertainment industry.  Then I have some co-workers and former co-workers and friends who share many of the same interests as me (movies, music, etc…).  The majority of them I have met personally, while some of them I may not have.

Many opportunities have come to be because of “who I know”.  I have continued to work for many high schools and middle schools DJing their dances because the teacher knows me.  I became the voice of Ronnie, the RPM Auto Sales Super Hero, because of my friend at Fox 66 who thought I’d be perfect to be his voice.  I landed a voice over gig on a national TV program because the host heard my voice on something I did for some friends.

This week, another possibility has presented itself to me.  Details are sketchy at this point and I don’t know too much about it.  A friend of mine passed along my name to someone and hopefully, this will be yet another one of those amazing things that I can attribute to “who I know”.  Stay Tuned…..

3. Family Time

The weather hasn’t always cooperated with us this summer.  Friday, however, was just perfect.  Sam and I decided to pack the boys in the car and head to the zoo.  There are a few small zoos close by (Saginaw and Frankenmuth), but she suggested the Potter Park Zoo in Lansing.  I had never been there before, and the boys had never been either.  It’s certainly not as large as the Detroit or Toledo Zoo, but it was still a very nice zoo.

Unlike the Detroit Zoo, there was plenty of shade.  Temperatures were not an issue, as it was sunny and 70 – perfect!  I can see where the shade would be especially nice on those 90 degree days!  What I really liked about this zoo was how close we were able to get to the animals.  When we walked in, there was a sign that said the Lions were not going to be outside.  They were, however, inside, and we could see them up close through glass.  It was awesome!  They are much bigger than I imagined.  When you see them from far away, you really don’t get to see just how big they are!

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We all had such a great time!

4. Radio Time

This week, I got to work at both radio stations.  Being in the studio makes me happy.  I get to be creative and talk with listeners.  Monday – Wednesday, I was on for George.  I got to do his all-request 80’s lunch show.  It’s always fun to see what the listeners want to hear. I love when they ask for those “forgotten favorites.”  Friday, I was on for Lisa.  She was out an an appearance and I was on air.

Today, I was live on the Moose.  “Moosin’ around” is often what I call it.  Today I got to catch up with a couple listeners who used to listen to me when I was here the first time years ago.  I think that’s how you know you’ve made an impact – they remember you.  They remembered a few of the silly bits I used to do when I was here before and it made me smile when the one listener reminded me of my “Accordion Awareness Month Updates!”

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Some say radio is a dying business – I say “only if you are doing it wrong!”

I miss it!!

5. Sam’s check up

The best moment of the week was going with Sam to her OB appointment.  It was just a check up, and she told me since I was running on little or no sleep that I should stay home and sleep.  I wasn’t about to do that.  I wanted to be there with her.  The doc was running a little behind, as he had to deliver a baby earlier in the day.  He came in, asked a few questions, discussed a few things, and then he let us hear the baby’s heartbeat. The baby’s heartbeat was a strong 159-160 bpm.  The doc looked at us and said, “If I had to guess, I’d say it’s a girl.”  It will be a few days before we find out for sure.

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The above is what the heart beat looks like on an ultrasound (this one is not ours, but I am going to ask for one of ours!!).  I don’t care how many times I hear it – the sound of the baby’s heartbeat makes me smile!  It never gets old!  Sam’s sister had a fetal doppler she let us borrow.  It will allow us to hear the baby’s heartbeat any time we want!  How cool is that?!

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So, writing this has helped me to feel better.  Now, I am going to listen to our baby’s heartbeat ….

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Random Thursday Thoughts

There is no real theme to today’s blog.  Over the past 24 hours, I have jotted down a few thoughts in my notebook and I decided to put them all in one place.

Happy 17th Birthday, Dante’!

Last year, I wrote a blog for my son’s 16th birthday.  You can read it here:

https://nostalgicitalian.com/2018/04/11/sweet-16-already/

I have no comprehension of just where the time goes!  I mean, he just turned 16!  Has it really been 365 days already?!  Just yesterday, we were talking about how we’re going to need to rent a pavilion for his graduation party, ordering senior pictures, whether or not he’s going to want a class ring, and things like that.  It seems like yesterday that I was holding his hand as I walked him into his kindergarten class, and yet here he is about to be a senior!

He texted me at work yesterday and asked if he could call me.  I called him and he told me that he was watching the Simpsons and the episode made him think of me.  It’s the Stonecutter’s Episode.  In the episode, they are all seated around a table and they sing a song called “The Stonecutter’s Song (We Do).”  I have it on my iPod, and it is also the ringtone for my old radio boss, Brian, who is a big Simpsons fan.  Dante’ called me to sing the song to me on the phone and we had a very nice talk.  He had me smiling for the rest of the night.  I love that kid!  Happy Birthday, Dante’!  Can’t wait to celebrate with you this weekend!

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National Pet Day

I read that today is National Pet Day.  Growing up we always had dogs.  When I moved away for a radio job, I was given a cat to keep me company.  I think I’ve had a cat ever since.  I love dogs, don’t get me wrong, but with a cat, you can go away for a day or two and as long as they have food and water, they’re good.  We still talk about getting a dog in the future, but with us working long days, a dog would spend a lot of time cooped up in the house.

At any rate – in honor of National Pet Day, here are Maizey and Moe.

cats

Mortgage Company Followers?

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This bit is for my Word Press followers.  I seem to have a variety of mortgage companies or mortgage lenders who have begun to follow my blog.  Let me say this – I’m probably not going to post anything about real estate or mortgages on this blog, so you may as well unfollow me.  We are currently NOT looking for a new home, and I am wondering why my blog is so interesting to them.  I wonder if these accounts are fake.  I will get random notifications from Word Press saying that one of the said followers have “liked” one of my blog posts, usually one that was posted a while ago.  Anyone have any thoughts on this?

Conference Talk

Coming up in June, I am going to be a speaker at a Sleep Conference.  I am very excited about it, and had a nice discussion with my boss about it today.  We were tossing ideas back and forth and swapping ideas, which was extremely helpful.  It helped to be able to talk to someone who has already presented at a past conference.

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As a former radio guy, speaking in front of people has never been an issue.  For whatever reason, I had one of those “What the hell am I doing?” moments this week.  Usually, I am talking to a group of people who don’t know much about my topic.  At this conference, however, I am speaking to my peers.  I will be talking  to fellow technologists (many of who have been doing this longer than me), physicians (who know WAY more than I can even imagine), my coworkers, lab managers and DME company reps.  I’m not going to lie, I am intimidated.  I can only hope that I can present this in a way that excites my audience and informs them.  Oh, and I hope I don’t look like an idiot!

A Special Hello

I always share a link to new blogs on my Facebook page.  However, because I have friends who are still friends with people from my past, those posts were not made public to them.  A friend who was mentioned in a recent blog enjoyed it so much, he chose to share it on his Facebook page.  Because he and I went to the same school, and share many of the same friends, folks who I had intended not to see this page now can.

It’s really no big deal, if they get anything out of it, I hope they now see how very much my life has changed for the better and how happy I am.  I hope they read it and examine themselves and see just how judgmental they are.  I hope that realize the negative vibes that they bring about by their unhappiness.  If they want to surround themselves with hate, gossip, judgment, and find happiness in making others unhappy – so be it.  I’m glad that my life still interests you and will give you much to talk about.  Troll away – I am sorry for you sad existence.

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Have a great Thursday!

 

Tune Tuesday – Feelin’ Good

One of my followers asked how picked my songs for Tune Tuesday.  To be honest, I have no rhyme or reason for the songs that end up here.  Last week, I wrote about Marvin Gaye for his birthday, and the week before that it was Nat King Cole for his birthday.  Today, it just happens to be a song I heard while in my car this afternoon.  It also happens to be a song that fits where I am in my life right now.

In the past year I have been blogging, I have written much about weeding out negativity, and the positive changes that have happened in my life.  I have written about reaching a point where I thought of ending my life, only to come through dark times to find true love and true happiness.  This song totally fits where I am now –  Feeling Good!

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The Song

The song was written by singer, songwriter, and actor Anthony Newley for the musical “The Roar of the Greasepaint – The Smell of the Crowd”.  Despite being covered by many artists (including Traffic, The Pussycat Dolls, George Michael, Joe Bonamassa, and John Coltrane – just to name a few), prior to Michael Buble’s version, the best known version was by the amazing Nina Simone. She recorded it for her 1965 “I Put a Spell on You” album.  Her version was never released as a single, but became known because of a Volkswagen advertisement in 1994.

Michael Buble’

I was first introduced to his music from a friend of mine who worked at All Access.  Kelly knew I was a big fan of the “Great American Songbook”, and the music of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Billie Holiday, and other great vocalists.  We spent a lot of time talking music.  She sent me a copy of Buble’s debut album and I was pretty impressed.  I was not only impressed with his vocals, but I was impressed with his band and the arrangements of the songs.  When his next album, “It’s Time”, hit stores, I made sure to pick it up.

Feelin’ Good is the opening cut from the “It’s Time” album.  It was released as a single, coincidentally this month in 2005.  The song opens with a slow fade up, and Michael’s vocal.  It’s soft and smooth and then the band kicks in with a big bass line, a sloppy and bluesy brass line, and you are hooked.  Everything about the arrangement of this song is perfect.  I love Nina’s version, but after you hear Buble’s version, it sounds “unfinished”.  It sounds weak and like it needs a few more musicians.

Buble’ acknowledges the influences of Dean, Frank, Tony Bennett, and continues to keep those wonderful songs alive (as well as some originals of his own).  Many people think of him and think of his Christmas music, which is sad.  He has SO many great songs.

As I reflect on where I am now in my life, I have found a happiness that I never knew I could experience.  I have found a love that many only dream about.  Ask me how I am feeling, and I will tell you I am “Feeling Good!”

Feeling Good

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by
You know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
I’m feeling good
Fish in the sea
You know how I feel
River running free
You know how I feel
Blossom on the tree
You know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
Dragonfly out in the sun,
You know what I mean, don’t you know
Butterflies all havin’ fun,
You know what I mean
Sleep in peace when the day is done, that’s what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me
For me
Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Scent of the pine
You know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
I’m feeling good
I’m feeling so good
I feel so good

 

Reflections on “Blog Year One”

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One of my Facebook friends noted on his page that this weeks marks the 100th birthday of comedian Red Buttons.  Red was known for his “never got a dinner” and “I was there” bits which he did frequently at celebrity roasts.  I remembered that last year, on his birthday, I blogged about Red and included many of my favorite “never got a dinner” lines.  It was one of the first blogs I wrote when I started this Word Press Blog.  It’s hard to believe that this blog is over a year old!

The beginnings

When I began this blog, I really didn’t have any idea of what it would be.  In my head, I thought that I might blog about some things I liked.  I also knew I would probably write about some favorite memories.  I might also write tributes to important people in my life or just random thoughts to help me deal with emotions or life situations.

This blog was meant for me.  It was to be a “sort of” therapy for me.  I envisioned it as a way to keep track of thoughts, write down stories I didn’t want to forget, and occasionally just vent. I had often joked about writing an autobiography, and in a way, this blog has become “chapters”.

I never thought that anyone would actually want to read these blogs (unless, of course, the blog mentioned them)!  Yet, here I am over a year later and I have “followers” – people who actually make it a point to read this no matter what the topic.  It humbles me.

Looking Back

The last few years of my life have been full of many changes:  job changes, deaths, divorce, depression, stress, remarriage, happiness, bliss, and the rekindling of old friendships.  It is interesting to go back and see the variety of topics this blog has covered through it all.  It really is a hodge-podge of randomness.

There is no shortage of posts about music here!  My iPod selections and the various connections that I make with songs, events, and people in my life are well documented.  There are so many great songs!  Musical blogs are among my favorite to write.  I recently started following another blog (PowerPop) which shares many of my musical tastes and I have enjoyed some great conversations with the owner of that blog.

My love for movies is also represented by blogs I wrote about movies I watched for the first time and movies I have watched over and over.  Television is also represented by a salute to the Dukes, childhood memories of School House Rock, TV Catchphrases, and my favorite cartoons. My hatred of movie and TV remakes was one of my very first blogs.

My radio career is also reflected in this blog.  You’ll find blogs that include some of my favorite radio stories, about listeners who became friends, my first morning show partner, radio mentors, radio bosses and co-workers, and encounters with famous people I met during my career all make up a good chunk of this blog.  One of my favorite blogs about radio is the World Radio Day blog, which thanks many of those people.

My family and friends, who are very special to me, are also well represented in this blog.  Tributes to my mom, my dad, my grandparents, my children, and my uncle/Godfather often were very emotional to write.  A blog about those teachers who were so influential and helpful to me was one of the easiest to write.  As my first wedding anniversary approaches, a long overdue blog about my wonderful wife will appear here.  One of my favorite blogs was about the trip to Florida that my wife and I took, which also doubled as our honeymoon.  Re-reading that one brings back many happy memories!  It still amazes me how we were able to keep it a secret.

The Christmas holiday spawned many blogs.  Blogs about Christmas memories, Christmas specials, Christmas characters, Christmas songs that drove me nuts, Christmas coffee, and yes – even a letter to Santa!  Christmas remains one of my favorite times of the year.  One thing I was unable to really blog about was the Christmas songs I love.  My friend, Chris, asked me to do that and I started it … just never finished it.  Consider it a head start for next year!

It was always fun for me to write about famous people.  As you look over the list of those who I wrote about, it is easy to learn a lot about me and what I like.  Comedians Red Buttons, Jackie Gleason, Shemp Howard, Curly Howard, Soupy Sales, and Rich Little give you a glimpse and who and what I find funny.  Musicians Elvis Presley, Willie Nelson, Roy Orbison, Weird Al Yankovic, Frank Sinatra, and, of course, Dean Martin give you a picture of my musical tastes. Other blogs about Mr. Rogers, Jack Webb, Christopher Lloyd, and Wolfman Jack expose you to other aspects of who I am.

At times, my blog can tackle serious topics, too.  Breast cancer is a big one.  Cancer, in general, is a big topic. It took many people from me.   I foresee a blog about St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in the future. I’ve been there and they do amazing work.  The importance of Music Education in schools is another great cause I will always fight for!  I have yet to write about Autism, but that is definitely on my list of future topics.

One of my favorite blogs summed up a lot about the past and the changes that occurred in me and my life over the past two years.  The subject was “Negativity, Judgement, and Happiness”.  Moving from sadness to happiness and moving from away from negativity and finding positives made a lot of difference!  Living with a positive attitude was such a game changer – and life is good.

The Future

Not so long ago, I was told my someone once close to me to stop writing.  “Nobody wants to read about that crap!  It is a waste of time.  Stop trying to be creative. Nobody cares about what you like and don’t like!”  If I have learned anything from Facebook and this blog, it is that people do care!  People do like to read what I write!  In the end, I don’t really write for others, I write for myself.  The fact that other people read this blog and get some enjoyment out if it is a little bonus.

In future blogs, I will continue to write about things I love.  I will write about things that people want to know about.  I will continue to participate in Blogathons (I have a few coming up that I am excited to write for) on various topics like movies and music. I will continue to write about things in my personal life.  I will continue to write – because I enjoy it.  The minute this is no longer satisfying and I feel that I have written all I can write … I will stop.  Until then, thank YOU for reading my “various ramblings”.  I appreciate you!

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Negativity, Judgment, and Happiness

thoughts

When I worked on the radio full time, I kept a little notebook in my pocket.  As I went through my daily life I would jot things that I experienced or noticed in the notebook as possible things to talk about on the air.  Lately, I have been collecting quotes to reflect on since there have been many changes in my life over the past few years.  As I was scrolling through them, I realized that they could easily be things that may help others as much as they have helped me.  The title of this blog reflects three “big” things that I have gone through.  The first two things are not easy to deal with, yet if handled correctly, can lead to the last thing. 

Negativity

negativity_is_a_thief_it_steals_happiness__quote-t2

My life was full of negativity from those around me.  Nothing was ever good enough.  It was very difficult to go through life surrounded by negative thoughts.  Here are some thoughts on negativity:

“Relationships with negative people are simply tedious encounters with porcupines. You don’t have the remote knowledge how to be close to them without quills being shot in your direction.” ― Shannon L. Alder

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”  – Willie Nelson

“You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind” – Joyce Meyer

7 Things Negative People Will Do To You. They will:

1. Demean your value

2. Destroy your image

3. Drive you crazily!

4. Dispose your dreams!

5. Discredit your imagination!

6. Deframe your abilities and

7. Disbelieve your opinions!

Stay away from negative people!” ― Israelmore Ayivor

 Judging

judge

Through difficult times, I found myself being judged by people who had no place to do so.  The Bible says, “Judge not, lest you be judged”.  Some of these people doing the judging forget that they are far from perfect, yet they feel it is important to label someone, diagnose someone, and yes, judge them.  Thoughts about judging:

“If you spend time judging and criticizing people, you will not have time to heal from your pain or brokenness. You cannot love yourself when you judge or criticize others who are created in God’s image and after His Likeness…in which you are also created. Love cannot operate from a space of pain. Love and hurt cannot reside in the same space.” ― Kemi Sogunle, Beyond the Pain by Kemi Sogunle

“Your judgments about another person say more about your own character than the character of the person you are pointing a finger at. This is the key and one of the most fundamental insights about the ‘red flags’ that we often dismiss regarding the people in our lives. If someone complains a lot to you about other people, guess what? That is part of their current character. And, as quickly as the tide changes, you can just as easily become the person they target and criticize, point fingers at, and negatively judge. Forever and always, until vibrations are raised, this will be the cycle of the relationship. So, it’s your choice to continue to engage in the cycle with them, or to move on. There are plenty of people who do not criticize, point fingers, or judge. THIS is the kind of character we want to foster within ourselves. THIS is the character of the kind of people we DO want to develop close relationships with.” ― Alaric Hutchinson, Living Peace

“When they judge you, yawn. When they misunderstand you, smile. When they underestimate you, laugh. When they condemn you, ignore. When they envy you, rejoice. When they oppose you, prevail.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo

BEWARE OF THOSE – Suzy Kassem

Beware of those who are bitter, For they will never allow you To enjoy your fruit.

Beware of those who criticize you When you deserve some praise for an achievement, For they secretly desire to be worshiped.

Beware of those who are needy or stingy, For they would rather sting you Than give you anything.

Beware of those who are always hungry. They will feed you to the wolves Just to get paid.

Beware of those who speak negatively About everything and everybody. A negative person will never say A positive thing about you.

Beware of those who are bored And not passionate about life. They will bore you with reasons for not living.

Beware of those who are too focused with Polishing and beautifying their outer shells. They lack true substance to understand That genuine beauty is in the heart that resides inside.

Beware of those who step in the path of your dreams. They only dream to have the ability To take half your steps.

Beware of those who steer you away From your heart’s true happiness. It would make them happy to see you Steer yourself next to them, Sitting with both your hearts bitter.

Those who are critical don’t like being criticized, And those who are insensitive have a deficiency in their senses.

And finally, Beware of those who tell you to BEWARE. They are too aware of everything – And live alone, scared.

 

 

Happiness

happiness

Through all of the negativity and judgment, I was finally able to find happiness.  It was not easy, and I would be stupid to think that there will never be difficult times ahead.  The difference, is that now I can look to it and know that I can make it through those times.  Happiness IS possible.  Happiness CAN be achieved.  Happiness makes life so much more special.  Now some simple thoughts on happiness:

“One of the simplest ways to stay happy is letting go of the things that makes you sad.” – Unknown

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” –  Helen Keller

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” ― Tom Bodett

“There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy.” – Unknown

“Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.” –  William Feather

“To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.” –  Albert Camus

“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Unknown

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it’s all that matters.” ― Audrey Hepburn

Promise Yourself

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds. To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.” ― Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them

 The Bonus – Love

love

With happiness – comes love.  I hope you are lucky enough to find a love like the one Bob Marley speaks of.  I can tell you, it is amazing!

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” ― Bob Marley