When I worked on the radio full time, I kept a little notebook in my pocket. As I went through my daily life I would jot things that I experienced or noticed in the notebook as possible things to talk about on the air. Lately, I have been collecting quotes to reflect on since there have been many changes in my life over the past few years. As I was scrolling through them, I realized that they could easily be things that may help others as much as they have helped me. The title of this blog reflects three “big” things that I have gone through. The first two things are not easy to deal with, yet if handled correctly, can lead to the last thing.
My life was full of negativity from those around me. Nothing was ever good enough. It was very difficult to go through life surrounded by negative thoughts. Here are some thoughts on negativity:
“Relationships with negative people are simply tedious encounters with porcupines. You don’t have the remote knowledge how to be close to them without quills being shot in your direction.” ― Shannon L. Alder
“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” – Willie Nelson
“You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind” – Joyce Meyer
“7 Things Negative People Will Do To You. They will:
1. Demean your value
2. Destroy your image
3. Drive you crazily!
4. Dispose your dreams!
5. Discredit your imagination!
6. Deframe your abilities and
7. Disbelieve your opinions!
Stay away from negative people!” ― Israelmore Ayivor
Through difficult times, I found myself being judged by people who had no place to do so. The Bible says, “Judge not, lest you be judged”. Some of these people doing the judging forget that they are far from perfect, yet they feel it is important to label someone, diagnose someone, and yes, judge them. Thoughts about judging:
“If you spend time judging and criticizing people, you will not have time to heal from your pain or brokenness. You cannot love yourself when you judge or criticize others who are created in God’s image and after His Likeness…in which you are also created. Love cannot operate from a space of pain. Love and hurt cannot reside in the same space.” ― Kemi Sogunle, Beyond the Pain by Kemi Sogunle
“Your judgments about another person say more about your own character than the character of the person you are pointing a finger at. This is the key and one of the most fundamental insights about the ‘red flags’ that we often dismiss regarding the people in our lives. If someone complains a lot to you about other people, guess what? That is part of their current character. And, as quickly as the tide changes, you can just as easily become the person they target and criticize, point fingers at, and negatively judge. Forever and always, until vibrations are raised, this will be the cycle of the relationship. So, it’s your choice to continue to engage in the cycle with them, or to move on. There are plenty of people who do not criticize, point fingers, or judge. THIS is the kind of character we want to foster within ourselves. THIS is the character of the kind of people we DO want to develop close relationships with.” ― Alaric Hutchinson, Living Peace
“When they judge you, yawn. When they misunderstand you, smile. When they underestimate you, laugh. When they condemn you, ignore. When they envy you, rejoice. When they oppose you, prevail.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo
BEWARE OF THOSE – Suzy Kassem
Beware of those who are bitter, For they will never allow you To enjoy your fruit.
Beware of those who criticize you When you deserve some praise for an achievement, For they secretly desire to be worshiped.
Beware of those who are needy or stingy, For they would rather sting you Than give you anything.
Beware of those who are always hungry. They will feed you to the wolves Just to get paid.
Beware of those who speak negatively About everything and everybody. A negative person will never say A positive thing about you.
Beware of those who are bored And not passionate about life. They will bore you with reasons for not living.
Beware of those who are too focused with Polishing and beautifying their outer shells. They lack true substance to understand That genuine beauty is in the heart that resides inside.
Beware of those who step in the path of your dreams. They only dream to have the ability To take half your steps.
Beware of those who steer you away From your heart’s true happiness. It would make them happy to see you Steer yourself next to them, Sitting with both your hearts bitter.
Those who are critical don’t like being criticized, And those who are insensitive have a deficiency in their senses.
And finally, Beware of those who tell you to BEWARE. They are too aware of everything – And live alone, scared.
Through all of the negativity and judgment, I was finally able to find happiness. It was not easy, and I would be stupid to think that there will never be difficult times ahead. The difference, is that now I can look to it and know that I can make it through those times. Happiness IS possible. Happiness CAN be achieved. Happiness makes life so much more special. Now some simple thoughts on happiness:
“One of the simplest ways to stay happy is letting go of the things that makes you sad.” – Unknown
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” – Helen Keller
“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” ― Tom Bodett
“There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy.” – Unknown
“Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.” – William Feather
“To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.” – Albert Camus
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Unknown
“The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it’s all that matters.” ― Audrey Hepburn
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds. To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.” ― Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them
The Bonus – Love
With happiness – comes love. I hope you are lucky enough to find a love like the one Bob Marley speaks of. I can tell you, it is amazing!
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” ― Bob Marley