Worst Halloween Candy?


Every Halloween it was an easy phone topic for my radio show: What is the worst candy to find in your Trick or Treat bag? I would cringe as a kid when someone would drop certain candies in my bag! Listeners felt the same way and often shared the same awful candies that I did. I had to laugh today as I stumbled on an article about a North Carolina city that banned a specific Halloween candy saying “No one likes them, don’t give them out”! So which one tops their list – and mine?? Here is the article….


According to friends (and this article) they are called Peanut Butter Kisses. I’ve always referred to them as the “tan nougat-ty things that are in the black and orange wrapper”. I have only stumbled on a few people who really enjoy these things. Comedian Tim Hawkins said that they tasted like “peanut butter and hair”! I think he is being nice, because to me, they tasted like stale cardboard.

Here is my personal list of candy that should NEVER be passed out to trick or treaters (unless you want your house to get toilet papered or egged):

  1. The above mentioned black and orange wrapped crappy things.
  2. Mary Janes – just as bad as #1
  3. Bit O’ Honey – just as bad as #1 and #2. Eat only if you want to chip a tooth.
  4. Black licorice. Really? When you pass this out you are basically saying “Beat it, kid! I’m only passing out candy cause my wife made me. I hate kids. I bought myself a bag of good stuff – here’s this crap”
  5. Good and Plenty. Same kind of thing as the black licorice. Good and Fruity is ok – please don’t mix up the two!
  6. Circus Peanuts. Is there even any flavor to these things? They taste like Styrofoam and quite frankly are awful. No – no – please, God, NO! I guess they would be acceptable to pass out to kids dressed as clowns…..
  7. Those Necco wafer things. Come on – you know that they are just big pieces of school chalk sliced and wrapped!
  8. Wax Bottles with the fluid in them. What in the hell are these things? AND just what is in the bottles?? It could be antifreeze for all I know! Even if you like the stuff inside, what do you do with the wax? I guess if you get enough you could make a candle or something.
  9. DOTS. Unless you want to enjoy them for a week or two … cause that’s how long they stay in your teeth!
  10. Candy Corn/Candy Pumpkins – basically the same crappy candy – just shaped different. Just don’t!
  11. BONUS: ANYTHING THAT IS NOT CANDY! (Nothing worse than a kid walking up and getting 3 pennies. Really? Hey, if you want to give out money – it better be paper!!

So – what are the worst candies YOU got in your trick or treat bags and what are your favorites?

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