You Don’t Just Lose Someone Once

My friend Kathy posted this on Facebook today. I am in the process of writing something in preparation of the loss of a good friend, so this kind of hit me hard as I read it. It conveys many of the things I was thinking regarding the loss of a friend or loved one. I know it hit home for Kathy, who is still grieving the loss of her husband, and a few of my other friends who lost parents, friends, and relatives.

I felt that it was powerful enough to share. I am unaware of the author. Perhaps you know someone who is grieving today and can share it with them. I apologize for the formatting, as I copied and pasted this from her page.

You Don’t Just Lose Someone Once.

You don’t just lose someone once.

You lose them when you close your eyes at night.

And as you open them each morning.

You lose them throughout the day.

An unused coffee cup.

An empty chair.

A pair of boots no longer there.

You lose them as the sun sets.

And darkness closes in.

You lose them as you wonder why.

Staring at a star lit sky.

You lose them on the big days.






And the regular days too.

You lose them in a song they used to sing.

The scent of their cologne.

A slice of their favorite pie.

You lose them in conversations you will never have.

And all the words unsaid.

You lose them in all the places they’ve been.

And all the places they longed to go.

You lose them in what could have been.

And all the dreams you shared.

You lose them as the seasons change.

The snow blows.

The flowers blossom.

The grass grows.

The leaves fall.

You lose them again and again.

Day after day.

Month after month.

Year after year.

You lose them as you pick up the broken pieces.

And begin your life anew.

You lose them when you realize.

This is your new reality.

They are never coming back.

No matter how much

You miss them or

Need them.

No matter how hard you pray.

They are gone.

And you must go on.


Time marches on, carrying them further and further way.

You lose them as your hair whitens and your body bends with age.

Your memory fades.

And the details begin to blur.

Their face stares back at you from a faded photograph.

Someone you used to know.

You think you might have loved them once.

A long time ago.

Back then.

When you were whole.

You don’t just lose someone once.

You lose them every day.

Over and over again.

For the rest of your life.

5 thoughts on “You Don’t Just Lose Someone Once

  1. Your friend Kathy’s piece is so beautiful, sad, true, honest, wow. ‘You don’t just lose someone once’ – this line and the whole poem resonated with me. I believe it will resonate with everyone who has ever lost someone dear. So deep, so human. Thanks for putting this on your blog, Keith, and thanks to Kathy for sharing this on her facebook page.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It really hit me when I read it, Britta. Maybe you can relate to this, as we are around the same age – I’ve been really thinking a lot about my own mortality. I have briefly blogged about it in the past. Now another friend, this time younger than me, is in hospice. “Tomorrow is promised to no one” is really becoming more of a fact than a quote.

      Liked by 1 person

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