Expanding on an earlier Facebook post.

I am on vacation. I have the next week off and will have my sons all week. I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am to have them over. I am hoping that the weather will cooperate and we’ll get to do some fun things this week. This vacation could not have come at a better time. I’m not sure why, but I just need the break. I have so much that has been on my mind.

For example, Thursday was typical for me. I slept for about 3-4 hours. It is my day to switch from “midnight” mode to “days.” Normally on Thursday, my head hits the pillow and I am asleep quickly. That was not the case. I actually broke my own rule (and what I tell all my patients about electronics before bed) and was surfing the web and reading stuff hoping to make myself tired – it didn’t work.

I read once that if you can’t shut your mind off, just jot all the thoughts down. The thought process is that it can help free your mind of them. I hoped that this would work and posted the following on Facebook. In posting it here and re-reading it, I may or may not comment on these thoughts. Some of them are repeat thoughts, some are not. Here goes:

“Been here in bed since 10:30. Sam is already sleeping. The cats are both on the bed, too. Mind won’t shut off. Trying not to think about something that happened earlier that really just made me angry. Random thoughts/wishes:

* As much as I love to sit and write, I wish I could find a gig that paid me to do it.

Comment: The more I think on this, the more I wish I could do this! I believe that you are always your own worst critic. I have often wondered why anyone would even want to read what I write, yet, here you are. I’m sure many authors have wondered if people would want to read their stuff too. Writing is therapeutic for me. Much like radio, I can take my observations and share them. You won’t always agree with my thoughts or opinions, and that is OK with me.

* In talking to an old radio buddy, it makes me miss doing it full time (even though it has changed dramatically)

Comment: While I am not doing this full time, I need to acknowledge that I am very lucky to still be doing it part time. Even if it is once a week, whether it is live or recorded, I still have my foot in the door and I get to “create” and “perform.” I still love it and radio will probably always be in my blood.

* I wish I could review music, bands, or movies and get paid for it. Neat to see some friends of mine doing it and having success with that!

Comment: I follow some blogs that write movie reviews. I know they don’t get paid for that. However, I have a friend who writes a lot of political stuff for websites and gets paid for that. I also have a buddy who always seems to be out and about interviewing celebrities about their films for various news stations, TV and radio. What a cool gig that has to be. When I interviewed people on the radio I was always told I was a “good interviewer.” Maybe I am. Pardon me while I digress and share two instances come to mind:

When I was at B95, Craig Morgan was scheduled to come by the studio. At the time he had a minor hit, and some tunes that weren’t being played on the radio. I was told by my boss to put him on the air for a few minutes, ask him about his new song, play it and move on. I did my research, and there were a lot of things about Craig that I found interesting. Yes, I was going to ask about his song, but there were other things I wanted to as about. I asked about his military career, his family, and such. Craig is a very funny guy. He and I hit it off instantly. We laughed a lot and had a bunch of fun. About 5 or 8 minutes into the interview, my boss went into the studio in the next room and stood in front of the window. I thought he was gonna give me the “Wrap it up” signal because we were going longer than anticipated. Instead, he gave me the “keep going – stretch it out” signal.

I don’t recall how long the interview went, but it was FUN. My boss said, “You just took a guy who no one was really familiar with, and made the listeners love him, because you related to him. You asked questions that made him so real. It was entertaining, and enjoyable. That’s the best damn interview I have heard in a long time!” The kudos I received were unexpected.

Also at B-95, Jewel came by the studio and I interviewed her on the air. She had recorded a country album and was promoting it. I did my research and prepped for her interview. I found a lot of stuff that I could ask about. Jewel was homeless for a time. She lived in a van. I wasn’t sure if that was a topic she would want to talk about. When she arrived I asked her off air if there was anything that she didn’t want to talk about, she said to ask whatever I wanted to. Naturally, I asked about her album. I also asked about her family life and pop hits. I also asked about her being homeless, in which she shared some great stories about writing songs.

One of the things I asked about was some Wizard of Oz TV special she did in the mid ’90’s. She started chuckling and joked about it. She asked “How did you find out about that?!” This led her to talk about some plays she was in in school and some other childhood memories. She was so moved and excited to be talking about those things. It was so cool for me to see how moved she was to remember those stories and it was great radio!

After Jewel left the station, about a half hour later, I got a call on my cell phone from the record rep who brought her to the station. He said, “I wanted you to know that Jewel just told me that you were by far the best interview she has done on this radio tour! She was blown away that you asked her about that Wizard of Oz thing! She said she felt so comfortable talking to you and she really enjoyed herself. She said you made her remember some great stories that she has never shared with anyone before. Nice work, cowboy!”

Again, a high point in my radio career!

back to my original thought – I think it would be very cool to get the chance to hear an album before it hit stores, see a movie before it hits theaters, or read a book before it hits the shelves and then offer a review.

* It’s a shame when an entire team has to be punished because of a few others.

On my hour drive to work each night, it is often the time I catch up with friends on the phone. We talk about family, friends, and work. In discussing work, there was this common theme. Rather than dealing with employees individually and holding them accountable for whatever the issue was, bosses made a knee-jerk reaction and punished the entire staff for the issues of a few people.

I am not in a position of authority at my job. I was a boss on more than one occasion. Observations that I made as an employee, helped me to manage. Managers motivate! When employees are motivated, they will go above and beyond for you. Many managers tend to demotivate. Jay Trachman, one of my radio mentors, wrote an article geared toward radio managers, and it holds true for any manager, really. It included things that managers do to demotivate, with or without knowledge of doing it. They included:

Ignoring employee ideas
Setting unattainable goals and holding employees responsible for them
Treating employees like children
Ignoring that employees have lives outside of work
Making rules for the entire staff because of the behavior of a few members
Focusing on errors or mistakes, no matter how trivial (Incidentally, the facts show that when you dwell only on problem areas destroys the employee’s confidence and self-esteem makes the employee more error-prone!)

* I hate when an opportunity seems right, but no matter how many ways you try to make it work, you can’t.

Comment: Without going into detail, an opportunity presented itself. It was one of those opportunities that doesn’t come around too often. I took it all in. Asked questions. Weighed options. Re-weighed options with different scenarios. Crunched numbers. Re-visited scenarios. Made a pros and cons list (my wife swears by these!). It was an opportunity that just was not something I could jump at. I am ok with that, though, because, it doesn’t change anything I am already doing. No big deal.

* I am hoping the scale shows a loss tomorrow at weigh in.

Comment: It did. My total weight loss now is at 24 pounds!! I couldn’t be happier! I was a bit worried because last Saturday I DJ’d a wedding and the dinner didn’t necessarily have the most healthy choices. Oh, and they had a doughnut bar! LOL. I am determined to get back down to 199 (where I was about 20 years ago, and the last time I was on Weight Watchers). The journey continues!

* I am not looking forward to a visit to the dentist tomorrow.

Comment: Uneventful cleaning. No cavities, so I was happy with that!

* I wish I could do more voice over work.

Comment: I looked into a few voice over services, but most cost money to be a part of. They also require you to do many auditions daily. I could probably do this on my days off, but it is hard to do working midnights, and without a home studio (or the money to build a home studio)!

I am lucky to have the relationships I have with The American Way, Whitetail Journey, Modern Craft Wines, Fox 66, and RPM Auto Sales. I would love to add a few more clients to that list. If you know anyone looking, I can certainly send a voice sample to them.

* I probably could have wrote a blog instead of this. Maybe I will just copy and paste it….lol.

Comment: That’s what I am doing!

* There is so much sadness in the Facebook feed this week. My heart goes out to my friends who have lost loved ones or have loved ones in the hospital.

Comment: Scrolling the Facebook news feed this week, I was saddened to read of some friends coping with the loss of someone special to them. I also read of a dear friend who is now home with hospice care. Some friends have been Facebook silent, but I am aware of some health struggles that are dealing with.

Many people state that they hate Facebook. They say there are too many political arguments, opinions, etc. I would agree, but I also utilize the “mute” button. There are ways that you can unfollow those who post stuff you don’t want to see. You remain friends, but you don’t see their stuff. You can also post things while making sure that certain people can’t see it.

I happen to like Facebook. It is a great way to keep up with friends. I almost never forget a friend’s birthday! I always love the pictures of weddings, first and last days of school, band concerts, dance recitals, and the addition of new babies or grandbabies. There are sad things, too. The passing away of parents, prayer chains for those who are sick or suffering, or the loss of a pet. Without Facebook, I’d never know these things. It can be a place to offer words of support, encouragement, or better yet, prompt you to reach out to your friend on the phone.

While I love social media, I also feel that it is important to reach out and actually talk to friends. I have decided that I am going to try to do that more. Yes, texting and messaging is easy, but you know what? I want to hear your voice!

* I hate change. I am a man of routine. Sometimes, change is inevitable. Sometimes change is exciting.

Comment: I take the same way to work every day. I am a creature of habit. One of the things that helps me stay focused on Weight Watchers is that I know the point values of meals. I tend to find something I like, and will stick with that meal. I have been eating a lot of veggies and fruits. I am also eating a lot of salads. However, to change things up we had turkey tacos last night. Not going to lie, changing it up was exciting! That’s right – I was excited for Tacos!!

* Guy on TV said to his gal, “I couldn’t be happier.” I think you can always be happier. Happiness can grow, much like love can grow. Each day I think I can’t love Sam any more than I do, but that love grows deeper. Happiness can grow too – that’s cool to me.

Comment: Just re-reading that made me smile. Think about this – “Happiness is a habit – cultivate it” (Quite attributed to Elbert Hubbard)

* The wrong motivation can kill morale and desire to give their all for you.

Comment: See above comments about punishing the entire team because of a few others.

* I wish I was an expert on something. With the recent talks I have done for conferences and small groups, I would totally love to do that for a living.

Someone commented on the original Facebook post and said I should be a motivational speaker. I don’t know that I’d go that far. I have many obstacles of my own that I have yet to conquer. I am not sure how motivating I can be.

I have always enjoyed doing career days at schools. I think it would be cool to host classic movies at a theater. I have no problem public speaking. I thought about teaching a public speaking class at one of those community education night class type programs. I don’t know, it’s a pipe dream perhaps. I just think it could be a very fun thing to do and would be great to get out and meet people.

* Was hoping that by jotting this stuff here, I’d get sleepy … Maybe I should at least try to go to sleep.

Comment: I didn’t.

* Even with all of these random thoughts, one still remains true. I am one lucky man! I am blessed beyond measure.

Comment: The Bible says in I Thessalonians 5:18, “In EVERYTHING give thanks.” What powerful instruction, and a very difficult thing to do! I have always tried to make this one of my “life mantras,” but some days are harder than others. At one point in my life, nothing could make me feel better. I was deep in that depression and suffering with so many feelings. I was struggling bad.

Today, however, I am a new man. Those quotes that I always had in my mind are back and help keep me focused. This one still remains difficult, because “everything” means “everything!” In good times and bad times – give thanks! What a challenge! Despite the fact that I had a variety of things (both good and bad) running through my head Thursday night, I remind myself of just how thankful I am to be alive! I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for my job. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for YOU. Thanks for reading!

Now, I am off to enjoy my time off!

Summer Memory – The Good Humor Man

As I was walking to my car to leave for work today, an ice cream truck was driving down my street. I found it odd that it was not playing music. Usually, you can hear the sounds of “Little Brown Jug”, “Turkey in the Straw”, “Pop! Goes the Weasel”, or “The Entertainer” (among others) when the ice cream man was driving around. That wasn’t always the case, though.

My first memories of the Ice Cream Man are from when we lived in Sterling Heights in the early 1970’s. The Good Humor Man always drove his white truck (like the one pictured above and below) and there was no music. There was a set of bells attached to a string that the driver pulled to ring them. I remember hearing the bells from the next street over and running over to my mom and dad to get a dollar of change to buy ice cream.

If you look carefully above the windshield in the picture above, you can see the bells the driver would ring. Here are the bells detached from the truck:

I’m sure that the loud music is a better at getting the kids attention today, but we always listened for those bells!

I remember many summer days running up to my dad (who was usually mowing the grass, or working outside) and he’d walk to the curb with us to stop the ice cream truck. There were SO many treats to choose from! When I was a kid, I guess I wasn’t so OCD. I used to try different ice creams all the time. Today, I have favorites and stick with those. Some of the treats I remember most:

The Ice Cream Sandwich. I still love them. The chocolate still sticks to my fingers while I eat them. The good ice cream trucks took this amazing treat a step further –

Vanilla, Chocolate AND strawberry ice cream?! Yes, please!!!

Push Ups. I remember them being orange mostly. Some trucks had the Flintstone theme, some had polka dots on them. I remember we used to save the plastic stems and piece that pushed the ice cream up and used them for something with our Star Wars figures.

The Chocolate Éclair was always a favorite of mine. I also like the variation where there was a chocolate candy center. No crunchies on that one, but it had a hard chocolate coating over vanilla ice cream.

As much as I love chocolate, I preferred the Strawberry Shortcake version! You can buy these in the stores today, but the ones from the ice cream truck always seemed to taste better.

The Bomb Pop! This seemed to be the favorite of many kids in the neighborhood. All of us kids had red and blue lips after eating this thing. I’m not sure why, but this one always seemed to melt faster than anything else I got from the ice cream man.

Who didn’t love a Snow Cone!? It was another favorite! It also left whatever color it was all over your face. Really, it’s a pretty lame treat. It’s just a little flavor over ice. The flavor ended up at the bottom of the wrapper as it melted. That was kind of the bonus, you got to drink a shot of all three flavors after all the ice was gone.

Tweety Bird Ice Creams were the ones I remember most. They came in other characters, too. I think there was Bugs Bunny, The Pink Panther, and Spider Man. Today, I know the most popular of this creation is SpongeBob. They all had gumball eyes and after you unwrapped it, it rarely looked like the character it was supposed to be!

The “cup” of ice cream was always available. It may be vanilla or vanilla with chocolate. Some had a real thin layer of chocolate syrup on it. Sometimes it came in a plastic cup, sometimes I was in a paper one. Either way, it almost always came with that little wooden scooper/spoon.

The Screwball was a favorite of mine for some time. It was a flavored ice (kind of like Italian Ice) with a gumball at the bottom of the cone/cup. Sometimes they were called Tornadoes or Twisters, but I remember them as Screwballs. They also had one with two gumballs at the bottom.

If I had to pick a favorite, it would probably be the Drumstick. I guess that’s why I still buy them at the store occasionally. I always loved how it had that one bit of frozen chocolate at the bottom of the cone. Bonus chocolate is always a good thing!!

As I grew older, the bells from the Good Humor trucks made way for the repetitive songs from warped records. As older children, we still chased down the trucks, but because of the loud music, we had to yell “STOP!” in order for them to slow down. The larger sides of the truck allowed for more room for the “Poster Price List”. We still looked in awe at the many treats and made the difficult decision of choosing just one to cool us off on a hoy summer day.

I have fond memories of getting ice cream with my dad and mom. I also have great memories of buying them for my sons. I wish, however, the sounds of those Good Humor bells were still ringing in neighborhoods today. If they were, I guess I’d be one of the first “kids” to run out and yell, “Stop!”

Tune Tuesday – Muppet Music

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40 years ago this week, The Muppet Movie hit theaters. My brother and I always made it a point to watch the Muppet Show on TV. It was always fun to see the famous guest stars interact with Kermit and the gang. If I am being honest, I am still upset that the final 2 seasons of The Muppet Show has yet to come out on DVD!

The movie itself was the 10th highest grossing film of 1979 and was loaded with cameos from celebrities like Bob Hope, Richard Pryor, Milton Berle, Dom Deluise, Steve Martin, Madeline Kahn, Mel Brooks, Telly Savalas, and so many more. The cameo by Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy is especially special, because Bergen passed away shortly after he shot his scene in 1978. Bergen was a hero of Muppet creator Jim Henson, and the movie is dedicated to his memory.

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The movie itself is a masterpiece. It remains, in my opinion, the best of all the Muppet films. Jim Henson did things in this movie that had never been done before – we saw Muppets walking, and Kermit riding a bike!!!!

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The movie had a great story and thanks to the writing of Paul Williams and Kenny Ascher, some really amazing music! The soundtrack includes “I’m Going to Go Back There Someday” (which would be performed at Jim Henson’s funeral), “Never Before, Never Again”, and the bluesy, “I Hope That Something Better Comes Along”. All of these are great songs in their own right, but for Tune Tuesday, and in celebration of the 40th Anniversary of The Muppet Movie, here are MY favorite songs from the film.

Can You Picture That?

I have always loved Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem! First of all, what a great name for a band! Second, Dr. Teeth was always so “hip.” Floyd and Janice were “like totally far out!” Animal was one hell of a drummer and I Zoot could really nail a sax solo! I always loved how they could take a standard song like “Tenderly” and rock it out! Check out this groovy track!

Oh yeah, whoo
Everybody’s lover, everybody’s brother, I wanna be your lifetime friend
Crazy as a rocket, nothin’ in my pocket, I keep it at the rainbow’s end
I never think of money, I think of milk ‘n honey, grinnin’ like a Cheshire cat
I focus on the pleasure, somethin’ I can treasure, can you picture that?
Can you picture that?

Hey Floyd, take a verse

Let me take your picture, add it to the mixture, there it is I got you now
Really nothin’ to it, anyone can do it, it’s easy and we all know how
Now begins the changin’, mental rearrangin’, nothing’s really where it’s at

Now the Eiffel Tower’s holdin up a flower
I gave it to a Texas cat
Fact is there’s nothin’ out there you can’t do
Yeah, even Santa Claus believes in you

Beat down the walls, begin, believe, behold, begat
Be a better drummer, be an up and comer Can you picture that?
Can you picture that
All of us are winnin, pickin and a-grinnin, Lordy but I love to jam

Jelly-belly gigglin’, dancin’ and a-wigglin’, honey that’s the way I am

Lost my heart in Texas, Northern lights affect us
I keep it underneath my hat
Aurora Borealis, shining down on Dallas, can you picture that?
Can you picture that?

Can you picture? You gotta see it in your mind
Can you picture? You know it’s quick and easy to find
Can you picture? You don’t have to buy a frame
Can you picture? Can you picture that?
Can you picture that?

Use it if you need it
Don’t forget to feed it
Can you picture that?

MuppetStudebaker

Movie Fact: The Studebaker in the movie is currently housed at The Studebaker Museum in Indiana.

Movin’ Right Along

There is just so much to love about this song! Kermit and Fozzie are traveling the open road in the Studebaker mentioned above. It’s really the perfect song to kick off any road trip. It’s just a fun song. As I watch this scene now, I think about how many times my buddies and I would hop in my Caprice Classic in high school, pop in a “driving mix” tape and sing along to songs as we drove around wasting gas. We were so much like Kermit and Fozzie!

Movin’ right along in search of good times and good news,
With good friends you can’t lose,
This could become a habit!
Opportunity knocks once let’s reach out and grab it (yeah!),
Together we’ll nab it,
We’ll hitchhike, bus or yellow cab it!
(Cab it?)

Movin’ right along.
Footloose and fancy-free.
Getting there is half the fun; come share it with me.
Moving right along (doog-a-doon doog-a-doon).
We’ll learn to share the load.
We don’t need a map to keep this show on the road.

(Hey, that song is sounding better Fozzie.)

Movin’ right along,
We’ve found a life on the highway.
And your way is my way,
So trust my navigation.

California here we come, the pie-in-the-sky-land.
Palm trees, and warm sand.
Though sadly we just left Rhode Island.
(We did what?!)
(Just forget it.)

Movin’ right along (doog-a-doon doog-a-doon).
Hey LA, where’ve you gone?
Send someone to fetch us, were in Saskatchewan!

Movin’ right along (doog-a-doon doog-a-doon).
You take it, you know best.
Hey, I’ve never seen the sun come up in the West?

Movin’ right along.
We’re truly birds of a feather,
We’re in this together and we know where we’re going.
Movie stars with flashy cars and life with the top down.
We’re storming the big town,
(Yeah, Storm is right should it be snowing?)
(Uh, no I don’t think so…)

Movin’ right along,
Do I see signs of men?
Yeah, “welcome” on the same post that says “come back again.”
Moving right along, nice town!
Footloose and fancy-free,
You’re ready for the big time…
Is it ready for me?

Movin’ right along,
Movin’ right along,
Movin’ right along,
Movin’ right along

The Rainbow Connection

What an amazing song this is! It was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Original Song (it lost to a song no one remembers), it was a Top 40 hit (reaching #25 on the charts), and has been covered by artists like The Dixie Chicks, Willie Nelson, Judy Collins, Kenny Loggins, Jason Mraz, Gwen Stefani, and The Carpenters (just to name a few!). The American Film Institute named the song one of the top 100 songs in their AFI’s 100 Years … 100 Songs list (it came in at #74).

Jim Henson told the song writers that the opening song would be Kermit in a swamp singing with a banjo. According to Paul Williams, he and Kenny Ascher wrote most of the song fairly quickly at Williams’ house, but got stuck trying to think of appropriate words for the part in the chorus that eventually became the phrase “the rainbow connection”; they were looking for a way to tie in the chorus to the song’s theme of rainbows. As they sat down for dinner with Williams’ then-wife, Kate Clinton, they explained to her their predicament of looking for a phrase that would provide “a rainbow connection”, then realized, in the course of explaining the problem to her, that the phrase “the rainbow connection” would itself be a good fit.

In a recent interview with Vanity Fair, Paul Williams explained how the song was recorded. He said that when the song was being recorded in the studio, Jim Henson started by simply performing the song himself in Kermit’s voice. However, there was a feeling that something was missing. Williams said that somebody, he doesn’t recall who, suggested that Kermit should give the song a try. Henson then took the Kermit the Frog puppet into the recording booth with him and performed the song with the world’s most famous piece of green felt. He says that “Kermit sang it brilliantly! One can only imagine what this looked like to the people working on recording the song. Kermit the Frog himself, with Jim Henson standing behind him, really did sing “Rainbow Connection.” Clearly, this was the thing that was missing. The recording would then be perfect, and would go on to inspire millions in The Muppet Movie.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what’s on the other side
Rainbows are visions
But only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide

So we’ve been told
And some choose to believe it
I know they’re wrong, wait and see
Some day we’ll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me

Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
And look what it’s done so far

What’s so amazing
That keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see
Someday we’ll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me

All of us under its spell, we know that it’s probably magic

Have you been half asleep?
And have you heard voices?
I’ve heard them calling my name
Is this the sweet sound
That called the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same

I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it
It’s something that I’m supposed to be
Someday we’ll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

La da da di da da dum da duh da da dum di da ohhh

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Happy Anniversary!

40 years later, and this movie still amazes me. It never gets old. I still enjoy watching it and I still tear up during the finale. 40 years later and I agree with the Swedish Chef – “Der Flim is Okie Dokie”!

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Recurring Dreams

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As someone who works as a sleep technologist, I am often asked about dreams. Why do we dream? Can dreams really tell the future? What do dreams mean? The list of questions I get asked about dreams is a long one. There are many schools of thought about dreams. Take a psychology class and just the thoughts of famous psychologists alone could fill a book! The most common question I get asked about dreams is in regards to recurring dreams. “Do you ever have recurring dreams?” Yes. Yes, I do. “Why do we have those?” I have no idea. I wish I did.

I’ve never been one to put too much faith into “dream interpretation.” To me, it seems like it is often just someone’s opinion. Sometimes they make sense, but most of the time they just seem like some generic thing – like a horoscope. I may be wrong, and maybe there is something to it, but I really haven’t found it to be that way.

Recurring Dream #1

I have been having this one dream off and on for years, probably since I was about 10 years old. My brother and I are out in the backyard. Sometimes it is at our first house (at least I think that’s where it is), most of the time, however, we’re at my mom and dad’s. The old dog house that was there when we moved in is still in the back corner. The swing set is in the middle of the yard. It is no bigger than an average backyard.

While we are outside, the wind begins to pick up and dark clouds roll in. My mother will stick her head out the sliding glass door and call for us to come in because of storms. As I look up in the sky, a funnel cloud begins to form. (FYI: My grandmother told me all kinds of stories about tornadoes, which left me forever terrified of them) It is at this point that my brother and I begin to run toward the house. As we run, the yard begins to get bigger and bigger. It is like I am running and the house is moving farther and farther away.

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My brother is running behind me and I am holding his hand. I keep looking behind us as the funnel cloud begins to turn into a tornado. It is windier and we are fighting to get to the house. We get to the swing set and we are being pulled off the ground by the funnel. We are literally hanging on to the bars of the swing set so we won’t get sucked away by the tornado. My mom is screaming to us, but cannot get to us. As I lose my grip on the swing set – I wake up.

Recurring Dream #2

This is one that I have a bit more frequently than the tornado dream. I mentioned it on Facebook once and was surprised that I wasn’t the only one to have this kind of dream. This one is the “band dream.”

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While there are many variations of it, they are always very similar in nature: (1) I forgot my instrument at home and my band director is going down the line making every one play individually. (2) I have my instrument, but didn’t practice the piece and the band director is going down the line making everyone play individually. (3) I have my instrument, but don’t have my music folder. (4) I have my music folder and my instrument, but I suddenly cannot play the song we are working on.

The variations can also take place in different places: (1) Sometimes we are rehearsing in the band room. (2) Sometimes we are on stage at a concert. (3)Sometimes we are playing at band festival. (4) Sometimes we are on the football field and we are in marching band. (5) Sometimes we are marching in a parade.

Our band director was a man who I had great respect for. I think we all did. He was a good leader and taught us many lessons. He was strict and stern. You always tried to be prepared for class. Sometimes you weren’t and he knew it. I remember this one song that had a simple chromatic scale at the beginning of it. It was a fast tempo song, so if you didn’t practice it, you could easily blow it. We all started the song, started it again, and again until finally he pulled out the grade book and made every one of us play it. You either played it right and passed or played it wrong and failed. I failed it.

In the dream, all the old band classmates are there. I can’t really look at them and say what year it is. Many times its just all the people who were in band at one time or another. There is often things going on that are just weird – like bubbles coming out of clarinets or water coming out of the tuba. Many times we are rehearsing songs I remember playing while in band. Other times we are working up songs I have never heard. Sometimes famous people are in the dream rehearsing with us. There is no specific or common ending to the dream.

While this dream can often cause me to feel anxiety, I usually wake up from the “band dream” chuckling at the absurdity of what was in it. I also wake wishing that I could go back to those days when I still played well. I can barely make a sound on my trumpet today. I miss playing in band. It was, one of my favorite things about high school.

Sweet Dreams

I probably have one or two other recurring dreams, I just forgot them right now. I’ll remember them after I have them. I don’t know what makes me dream these same dreams. I don’t know what prompts them. I have always found dreams to be very cool. They can be very real! They can make you feel real emotions. Every once in awhile, they can be a little too real.

Other times, a dream, which you can’t explain, can make you look back at it and wonder. I had one of those too. When I was going through my divorce, I had a ton of stress. I woke up crying one night after having a dream. I dreamt my mom was talking to me. I was upset. She looked at me and said, “It’s going to be alright, honey. You are going to come out of this and things will be just fine.”

She was right!

What are your thoughts on dreams? I’d love to hear them.

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Tune(s) Tuesday – “It Won’t Be Like This For Long” and “Then They Do”

Let me preface this blog by saying I had an absolutely amazing Father’s Day Weekend! Friday, I spoke with someone about some future possibilities (a future blog), Saturday I got the best unexpected surprise (which is another future blog), and Sunday, I spent time with my sons. Past Father’s Day’s we have gone to ball games, the zoo, Outdoor Adventures, etc… This Father’s Day was a bit more low key. We went to the movies together and saw this Pokemon Detective Pikachu movie (which despite knowing a thing about Pokemon, I thought was a good film). Afterward, we went to the Sloan Museum in town to see the Robot Zoo exhibit. We also spent a little time in Barnes and Noble (getting ideas for my youngest’s birthday and checking out what they had on vinyl.

While I sat there waiting for the movie to start, I was looking at my sons. They are out of school for the summer and they will be in 12th and 7th grades next year. It is almost unreal how fast time has flown by. Today’s tunes are fantastic songs that are great not only they tie in with Father’s Day, but they are a reminder to enjoy every moment – because time waits for no one!

It Won’t Be Like This For Long – Darius Rucker

This song was a hit, despite the bad reviews it received in industry magazines. I always liked it, probably because I could relate to how fast my kids were growing up.

He didn’t have to wake up
He’d been up all night
Lying there in bed listening
To his newborn baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It’s gonna be OK

It won’t be like this for long
One day we’ll look back laughing
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
It won’t be like this for long

Four years later ’bout four thirty
She’s crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at pre-school
She’s clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him
He says, “What can I do?”
She says, “Now don’t you worry
This will only last a week or two”

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon you’ll drop her off
And she won’t even know you’re gone
This phase is gonna fly by
If you can just hold on
It won’t be like this for long

Someday soon she’ll be a teenager
And at times he’ll think she hates him
Then he’ll walk her down the aisle
And raise her veil

But right now she’s up and crying
And the truth is that he don’t mind
As he kisses her goodnight
And she says her prayers
He lays down there beside her
‘Til her eyes are finally closed
And just watching her it breaks his heart
‘Cause he already knows

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah this phase is gonna fly by
So he’s trying to hold on
‘Cause it won’t be like this for long
It won’t be like this for long

Then They Do – Trace Adkins

This is the same kind of song as the one above. What I love about this one is the “Twilight Zone”-ish ending to it. What I mean by that is that as parents, sometimes we just wish our kids will grow up – and then they do. You get what you wish for, but sometimes it takes getting the wish before you realize it is not what you wan. It’s a reminder that sometimes all those little things that maybe drove us batty, are the things we really love about our kids. Time moves forward – and moments come and go.

This can also be said of loved ones who are no longer here. The stories that my grandma and my mother told over and over – at the time I remember thinking “this story again?!” Now, I’d give anything to hear them tell those stories again. Treasure each and every moment with your kids! Enjoy even the things that drive you crazy – because soon, they grow up and you’ll want those moments back.

In the early rush of morning,
Trying to get the kids to school:
One’s hanging on my shirt-tail,
Another’s locked up in her room.
And I’m yelling up the stairs:
“Stop worrying ’bout your hair, you look fine.

“Then they’re fightin’ in the backseat,
And I’m playing referee.
Now someone’s gotta go,
The moment that we leave.
And everybody’s late,
I swear that I can’t wait till they grow up.

Then they do, and that’s how it is.
It’s just quiet in the mornin’,
Can’t believe how much you miss,
All they do and all they did.
You want all the dreams they dreamed of to come true:
Then they do.

Now the youngest is starting college,
She’ll be leavin’ in the Fall.
And Brianna’s latest boyfriend,
Called to ask if we could talk.
And I got the impression,
That he’s about to pop the question any day.

I look over at their pictures,
Sittin’ in their frames.
I see them as babies:
I guess that’ll never change.
You pray all their lives,
That someday they will find happiness.

No more Monday PTA’s,
No carpools, or soccer games.
Your work is done.
Now you’ve got time that’s all your own.
You’ve been waitin’ for so long,
For those days to come.

Ah, then they do.

Father’s Day Reflections -2019

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As Father’s Day approached, I found a few minutes to reflect. In a world where you hear constantly about “deadbeat dads”, I am lucky enough to have a dad who played a HUGE part in my life in SO many ways. I have blogged about his musical influences on me (Which you can read here: https://nostalgicitalian.com/2018/03/30/my-biggest-musical-influence-dad/) and wrote a blog for him on his birthday (which you can read here: https://nostalgicitalian.com/2018/11/01/birthday-tribute-to-fred/). I was truly blessed with a great dad.

One of the hardest jobs in the world is being a parent, I’ll be the first to admit that. I will also say, though, that while it is a difficult job, it is also one of the most amazing things a man can do! As I look at my two sons, I consider myself blessed. Being a father is one of the most satisfying, frustrating, fulfilling, and life-affirming things I have ever done! I have been a dad for almost 18 years, and as I thought about my boys, I began to make a list of the things I love about being a dad. I thought I would share that list with you. Perhaps you can add to it or relate to mine.

Things I Love About Being a Dad

Your kids think you know it all.
- If I had a dollar for every time my kids have asked me a question about something…LOL. Many times, you know the answer, but sometimes, they ask you something that throws you for a loop! They truly believe you are the smartest person alive!
Playing catch.
- One of my favorite memories of my dad and I was playing catch in front of our house. I remember the first time he threw his “submarine” pitch to me and how much my hand stung when it hit the mitt! Throwing the ball around with my sons is something I will never get tired of doing!
Coaching – Sports.
- I was lucky enough to coach both of my sons in T-ball and baseball. I truly wish they had both continued to play ball, but as they grew older, they lost interest. I also helped the coaches out when my oldest son was on the bowling team in middle school. I loved watching them play soccer and taking them to the driving range to hit golf balls, too. I only got to really go fishing with them a couple times, but I hope that it happens more in the years ahead.
Throwing them around in the pool.
- We lived at one place that had a huge pool. One of the thing I never got tired of was picking the boys up and tossing them back into the water in the summer. I also loved letting them push me in the pool, thinking they had surprised me, when all along I was waiting for them to do it. My oldest is as big as me now, and he still wants me to throw him around! Pool fun is always great as a dad!
Your kids think you are the strongest person!
- I remember arm wrestling with my dad and being amazed at how strong he was. I remember “helping” my dad move things and struggling with my end of it because it was so heavy. Dad wasn’t phased at all, though. As kids, we are always amazed at how strong dad is!
Rocking and singing them to sleep.
- Whether it is at the beginning of the night or in the middle of the night, I never grew tired of rocking my kids to sleep. Holding them with their head on my shoulder and singing Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra songs is forever etched in my memory! The songs changed from son to son, but some remained the same. I used to sing “Bouna Sera,” “On An Evening in Roma,” “Watching the World Go By,” “Vieni Su,” “Cruising Down the River,” and other songs. I used to love when they would sing them to me, too!
You become aware of your bad habits.
- My dad used to smoke. He used to say, “Don’t ever let me catch you doing this!” He eventually quit cold turkey, whether or not it was because of my brother and I, I don’t know. I do know that you are extra cautious about doing things or saying things you don’t want your kids repeating. My dad always tells the story of driving while I was in the car seat behind him Someone cut him off and he yelled, “You stupid prick!” and I said, “What did those pricks do, daddy?!” “Sticks – there were sticks in the road!” was his response. HA!
Play time and using your imagination.
- I remember my dad coming into the bedroom and pretending to be a bear while my brother and I were under the covers. I remember him pretending to be a wrestler and bouncing us on the mattress. I remember pretending that way with my sons, too. I remember playing superheroes with towels tied around our necks for capes! So much fun!!!
Embarrassing them.
- This gets more fun as they get older. My dad did it to me. I do it with my kids. Just recently, we were walking down the street to go to the city fair. On the walk I started skipping and both kids were like, “Dad! Stop it!” This one car was playing some song with a really loud bass, so I started dancing. Again, “Stop it!” When the petting zoo came into view I screamed, “Oooo! Look at the baby goats” and started running toward them. They were so embarrassed! It’s what dads do!!
Introducing them to things from your childhood.
- For me, dad introduced me to a lot of music and such. For my sons, I shared movies and music, but thanks to technology, I was able to share with them the Atari 2600! They had some retro Atari that was loaded with 200 games or something one Christmas. My oldest loved it. He was always playing Maze Craze! We used to hit the thrift shops and I would love when there was some old toy from my childhood there! Of course, I passed down the Three Stooges to them! I also introduced them to the Classic Scooby Doo cartoons, Hong Kong Phooey, and the Muppets.
True and unconditional love.
- It’s a mutual thing. I have never felt such an unconditional love for someone or from someone, until I became a dad. Holding each of my boys for the first time, you melt! The love just gushes out from you. It is an amazing thing.
Hearing “I love you” from them.
- This kind of goes with the above item. As if you can’t love them any more, the minute they tell you “I love you” is just an amazing, emotional, and wonderful thing that you will never forget. I still have voicemails from both boys as toddlers on my phone. I need to find a way to get them into an MP3 or something. I never want to lose those!
Halloween
- There were a few years I worked nights and missed out on taking them out trick or treating. I was able to be at all of their Halloween parades at school. I loved being able to help pick out costumes with them. Pulling them around the neighborhood as babies was something very fun.
Gibberish talk.
- As parents, we all do this. Especially when they are babies. I wish I could remember all the things I said to my kids, I don’t. I know there were gibberish phrases that I used for each boy, though. I used to love saying them to make them smile.
Making them laugh.
- My kids were always my best audience. “Do it again, Daddy!” There is nothing like making your child laugh. Their laughter is like music! Even as they grow up, I still love listening to them laugh. They may not laugh at it everything like they used to, but that’s ok. It’s still fun to make them laugh.
Roughhousing.
- It’s a bit different now that they are older, and have the potential of kicking my butt! I love when they want to rough house! I remember my mom yelling at my dad, “Stop that rough housing!” Why?! It was fun for all of us!
Being silly.
- Adulting sucks. Sometimes, you just have to be silly! Being a dad allows you to be silly. Silly is good. Sometimes, you have to break away from the serious and embrace the silly!
Letting them win.
- Oh how many games of cribbage did my dad let me win?! With Uno, he wasn’t so nice. I think he used to love putting down that Draw 4 card – much like I do with my kids today! Sure, I have let them win occasionally, and there is some satisfaction in watching him and his brother brag about how they beat dad at the game. Every once in awhile, though, you gotta show them you can beat them at it too!
“Caving” at the store.
- I don’t do this as much now, but I used to. You know how it is – you go to the store and there is that “can we get this?” or “I need this!” All too often, I would cave and buy whatever it was. Now that they are older, they understand a bit more when you tell them you don’t have the money to buy that right now. they younger they are, the easier it is for dads to cave!
Getting beat at video games.
- I love spending time with my boys. They love their video games. They have this one called Super Smash Brothers. I really don’t understand it, but the gist is that you are a character (there are many) and you beat each other up until someone wins. They kept asking me to play, so I did. They wiped the floor with me. Both of them were laughing as they beat the snot out of my character. I was just pushing buttons trying to make it hit or whatever. All of a sudden, my character started to light up and did this crazy punch/kick thing! My youngest said, “Dad, you figured out how to use the special!” There was some special move – every character has one! They just neglected to tell me about it and let me lose! LOL! Smart boys!! I don’t care whether I win or not, I just enjoy the time with them.
Carrying them on my shoulders
- I remember as a kid, loving when my dad carried me on his shoulders. I used to hold on to his hair! My boys did the same thing! I would give anything to be able to carry my sons again on my shoulders. I used to love walking through the store with them up there. I loved taking walks in the park with them up there. I wish I had more pictures of them up there.
Snuggling/Hugs
- I have always been a hugger. I love hugging my kids. I miss the days of snuggling up next to them for a nap. I miss holding them while we watch TV. I remember many times trying to get up from the couch, trying not to wake them because they fell asleep. Those moments are so special for a dad. I love when they come up and hug me for no reason. It is still an amazing thing.
“Pull my finger”
- This is probably the one thing that is exclusive to dads. Not many moms do this! Farts, dads, and kids mean laughs. It’s probably such a huge annoyance for moms. Dads fart. Kids laugh at farts. I remember one time my friend and I were outside in the front yard playing with Matchbox cars. Dad came home from work and as he was walking in the house he made the “finger gun” with his hand and “shot” it as he farted. We still laugh about that! The fart will always be a funny thing that dads and kids both laugh at together.
Looking at your relationship with your kids and being able to connect it to memories you shared with your dad.
- Go back and read how many times I mention something I love about doing with my sons, and how many times I can connect them with something my dad and I shared!
The “bond” that is eternal.
- There will never be anything that can come between me and my kids. I love my sons with all that I am. They are my flesh and blood and will forever be my little boys.
The firsts and lasts
- Those firsts stay with you forever. The first steps. The first words. The first day of school. The first concert. Both of my sons are still in school, but if social media is an indicator, the last day of school is just as emotional as the first! Watching each of my sons get on the bus for the first time was very emotional for me. Big days – big emotions.
Artwork
- Back when I had an office at work, I used to have countless drawings that they did in school. I used to have a macaroni bee that my oldest son made. The noodles eventually broke on it. I still have some paintings they did and the coffee mug coasters that each boy made me for Father’s Day in kindergarten or first grade. Those little things hold special meaning for me.
Bedtime Stories
- It starts as you reading to them. I don’t know how many times I read “Goodnight Moon” or “I’m Thankful Each Day” to my sons, but I enjoyed it every time. I am sure there were other books, too. “Snowmen at Night” was a favorite, too. I used to love when they would read to me! I wish the video games weren’t so accessible, because I really wish they would find more time to read. I loved when they would tell me about a story of book they read in school.
The emotions that they make me feel.
- They make me proud. They make me happy. They make me cry (both happy and sad tears). They make me worry. They make me thankful. They make me feel a never ending love for each of them. I am not ashamed to admit how emotional I have gotten watching them in a play, a band concert, a baseball game, or during an awards ceremony. God help me, when they graduate, get married, and have children – I can barely hold it together now!!

I am sure if I had a few more minutes, I could add many more items to this list. Being a dad is the greatest thing I have ever had to do. My sons have been tremendous blessings to me and fill my heart with joy and laughter. I love them so much. If and when I am blessed with another child, I will look forward to reliving some of the things mentioned and creating new memories with that child, because being a dad is one of the coolest, most special, and fulfilling things I have ever done, or will ever do in my lifetime.

Happy Father’s Day!

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“Center Sqaure” = Funny!

Born today in 1926 – the very funny Paul Lynde. In his honor, enjoy some of his great lines from the Hollywood Squares:

Peter Marshall: If the right part comes along, will George C. Scott do a nude scene?
Paul Lynde: You mean he doesn’t have the right part?

Peter Marshall: Will a goose help warn you if there’s an intruder on your property?
Paul Lynde: There’s no better way!

Peter Marshall: In “Alice in Wonderland”, who kept crying “I’m late, I’m late?”
Paul Lynde: Alice, and her mother is sick about it.

Peter Marshall: According to Tony Randall, “Every woman I’ve been intimate with in my life has been…” What?
Paul Lynde: Bitterly disappointed.

Peter Marshall: Diamonds should not be kept with your family jewels, why?
Paul Lynde: They’re so cold!

Peter Marshall: What is a pullet?
Paul Lynde: A little show of affection…

Peter Marshall: In the Middle Ages, Paul, people in convents were not allowed to eat beans because they believed something about them we now know isn’t true. What?
Paul Lynde: Well, I know they took a vow of silence…

Peter Marshall: Paul, Snow White…was she a blonde or a brunette?
Paul Lynde: Only Walt Disney knows for sure…

Peter Marshall: Promethius was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man. What did he give us?
Paul Lynde: I don’t know what you got, but I got a sports shirt.

Peter Marshall: When Richard Nixon was Vice-President, he went someplace on a “good will mission,” but instead wound up being stoned and shouted at. Where did this take place?
Paul Lynde: Pat’s room .

Peter Marshall: True or false, cow’s horns are used to make ice cream.
Paul Lynde: You mean those weren’t chocolate chips?

(I know these next two are already quoted to death but I just couldn’t resist)
Peter Marshall: What are “dual purpose”cattle good for that other cattle aren’t?
Paul Lynde: They give milk and cookies…but I don’t recommend the cookies!

Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Peter Marshall: True or false…research indicates that Columbus liked to wear bloomers and long stockings.
Paul Lynde: It’s not easy to sign a crew up for six months…

Peter Marshall: Whose motto is “Do Your Best”?
Paul Lynde: I guess we can rule out Jimmy Carter…

Peter Marshall: According to the French Chef, Julia Child, how much is a pinch?
Paul Lynde: Just enough to turn her on…

Peter Marshall: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Peter Marshall: True or false, the navy has trained whales to recover objects a mile deep.
Paul Lynde: At first they tried unsuccessfully with cocker spaniels…

Peter Marshall: It used to be called “9-pin.” What’s it called today?
Paul Lynde: Foreplay!

Peter Marshall: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

Peter Marshall: Paul, in the early days of Hollywood, who was usually found atop Tony, the Wonder Horse?
Paul Lynde: My Friend Flicka.

Peter Marshall: During the War of 1812, Captain Oliver Perry made the famous statement, “We have met the enemy and…” What?
Paul Lynde: They are cute.

Peter Marshall: Burt Reynolds is quoted as saying, “Dinah (Shore)’s in top form. I’ve never known anyone to be so completely able to throw herself into a…” A what?
Paul Lynde: A headboard.

Peter Marshall: What is the name of the instrument with the light on the end, that the doctor sticks in your ear?
Paul Lynde: Oh, a cigarette.

Peter Marshall: In one state, you can deduct $5 from a traffic ticket if you show the officer…what?
Paul Lynde: A ten dollar bill.

Peter Marshall: Experts say you should avoid sex immediately after…what?
Paul Lynde: Surgery.

Peter Marshall: True or false, each generation of Americans has been about an inch taller than the previous generation…
Paul Lynde: That makes Robert Conrad an antique!

Peter Marshall: It’s well known that small amounts of female hormones are found in the male body. Are male hormones ever found in the female body?
Paul Lynde: Occasionally.

Peter Marshall: In the “Wizard of Oz,” the lion wanted courage and the tin man wanted a heart. What did the scarecrow want?
Paul Lynde: He wanted the tin man to notice him.

Peter Marshall: Billy Graham recently called it “our great hope in a confusing and ever-changing world.” What is it?
Paul Lynde: Pampers.

Peter Marshall: Paul, how many men are on a hockey team?
Paul Lynde: Oh, about half.

Peter Marshall: What should you do if you’re going 55 miles per hour and your tires suddenly blow out?
Paul Lynde: Honk if you believe in Jesus.

Peter Marshall: What do you call a man who gives you diamonds and pearls?
Paul Lynde: I’d call him “darling”!

Peter Marshall: True or false…a shipment of the Pill was recently recalled because they were actually sugar pills…
Paul Lynde: Does this mean all of the babies born in November will have pimples?

(from Kermit Schafer’s Blooper collection)
Peter Marshall: You’re on a yacht, and you’re seasick. According to Emily Post, should you tell your host?
Paul Lynde: No, let him find out for himself. (laughter) Actually I’ve never been on a yacht…I think you should do everything you can do and of course, tell the host.
Contestant: I agree.
Marshall: Never tell the host…
Lynde: Oh, s***! (bleeped)

Peter Marshall: We’ve all heard the old phrase “A pig in a poke.” What is a poke?
Paul Lynde: It’s when you’re not really in love.

Peter Marshall: Paul, this is for 12 hundred dollars and the championship. Dale Evans recently revealed the three secrets behind her happy marriage with Roy Rogers. Now listen carefully…”We work together, we pray together and we’re darn good…” What?
Paul Lynde: In the saddle.

Peter Marshall: Paul, in what famous book will you read about a talking ass who wonders why it’s being beaten?
Paul Lynde: I read it, “The Joy of Sex.”

Peter Marshall: What’s that thing to the east of Sweden?
Paul Lynde: Have you seen Anita Ekberg lately?

Peter Marshall: Is it normal for Norwegians to talk to trees?
Paul Lynde: As long as that’s as far as it goes.

Peter Marshall: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Peter Marshall: What did James Watt invent after fooling around with his wife’s tea kettle?
Paul Lynde: James Watt Jr.

Peter Marshall: The Great White is one of the most feared animals. What is the Great White?
Paul Lynde: A sheriff in Alabama.

Peter Marshall: Paul, can anything bring tears to a chimp’s eyes?
Paul Lynde: Finding out that Tarzan swings both ways!

Peter Marshall: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy?
Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch!

Peter Marshall: Fred Astaire says, his mother has been trying to get him to do this since he was 35. But he hasn’t done it and says he won’t do it until he’s ready. Do what?
Paul Lynde: Move out of the house!

Peter Marshall: According to legend, who looks better, a pixie or a fairy?
Paul Lynde (in deeper voice): Well, looks aren’t everything! (laughter and applause) Well, I guess I would say…I would have to go with the fairy. (more laughter)

Peter Marshall: Paul, you have a 9 year old son who constantly wets the bed. What should you do?
Paul Lynde: Get rid of him! (audience laughter)
Charley Weaver: I know what you should do — you should get him a waterbed! (camera shot of Charley Weaver enjoying having topped Lynde)
Paul Lynde (pretending to be annoyed): Put the camera back on me!

Peter Marshall: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body– what is it?
Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn’t neglected!

Peter Marshall: According to the old song, what’s breaking up that old gang of mine?
Paul Lynde: Anita Byant!

Peter Marshall: Paul, the Rio Grande River seperates Texas and Mexico. What does “Rio Grande” mean in Spanish?
Paul Lynde: El Washing Machine.

Peter Marshall: Elizabeth Taylor calls it ‘the Big One’ , What is it?
Paul Lynde: They both look the same to me!

Peter Marshall: Paul,Zsa Zsa Gabor says she never ever swims with her face in the water. Why?
Paul Lynde: It clogs the drain.

Peter Marshall: Paul, Broderick Crawford says that he is often mistaken for….
Paul Lynde: A dump truck.

Peter Marshall: A current movie is being described as “the story of a love that changed the world forever.” What movie is it?
Paul Lynde: Oh, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Peter Marshall: On a recent visit to France, Britain’s Queen Elizabeth was given the opportunity of sleeping in a very famous person’s bed. Whose?
Paul Lynde: Jean Paul Belmondo’s.

Peter Marshall: Paul, during a visit to the Moscow State Circus, Pat Nixon shook hands with something unusual. What?
Paul Lynde: The bearded lady, Mrs. Kosygin.

Peter Marshall:Sophia Loren recently revealed that when she was a child she never played with something. What?
Paul Lynde: Oh, the L.A.Rams.

Peter Marshall: Lana Turner recently said, “I won’t do it because I haven’t stopped living my life by a long shot.” What won’t she do?
Paul Lynde: Oh, the Merv Griffin show.

Peter Marshall: Now listen carefully, Paul. If you have one it’s a moose. If you have two, it’s a….?
Paul Lynde: It’s a mess!

Peter Marshall: In the Bible, who was found in a basket among the bulrushes?
Paul Lynde: Colonel Sanders.

Peter Marshall: Henry Kissinger was recently quoted as saying,”They aren’t even sexy!” Who was he referring to?
Paul Lynde: The Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Peter Marshall: A photograph of Queen Elizabeth had her stepping onto the shores of Bangkok, onto a carpet made of what?
Paul Lynde: 40% dacron.

Peter Marshall: Paul. a recent navy picture had Admiral Zumwalt kissing Admiral Duirk. Why?
Paul Lynde: Too long at sea!

Peter Marshall: According to PhotoPlay magazine, in their courting days before Frank Sinatra was successful, Nancy used to send him a glove with something in each finger. What?
Paul Lynde: Soup.

Peter Marshall:Which performing team were the stars of Ed Sullivan’s first TV show?
Paul Lynde: Aretha and Benjamin Franklin.

Peter Marshall: Paul, for a thousand dollars and a tie game, according to psychologists, do most people sleep better in their street clothes than in their pajamas?
Paul Lynde: Yeah, we call them winos.

Peter Marshall:Paul, according to the classic movie Frankenstein, Dr. Frankenstein was supposed to do something important the day the monster killed him. What?
Paul Lynde: I think a tonsillectomy.

Peter Marshall:If you want to know if a plastic surgeon is really qualified, who should you check with?
Paul Lynde: Tony Randall.

Peter Marshall:When President Nixon was in Poland recently the Polish people kept shouting, “Stolat! Stolat! Stolat!” What does “Stolat” mean?
Paul Lynde: Welcome, President Johnson

Peter Marshall:True or false. George jessel has a 9 year old daughter.
Paul Lynde: False. It’s his girlfriend

Peter Marshall: Eva Gabor says she dislikes a particular word because it signals the end of something that started out so beautifully. What word?
Paul Lynde: Pregnant.

Peter Marshall: Paul, is there such a thing as a female rooster?
Paul Lynde: Yeah, they’re the ones who just go “a doodle doo!”

Peter Marshall: Why do sheep sleep huddled up?
Paul Lynde: Because Little Boy Blue’s a weirdo!

Peter Marshall: When Henry Kissinger recently visited Japan, he went to a Geisha House, now how did he spent his time in the Geisha House?
Paul Lynde: Oh, negotiating for “peace!”

Peter Marshall: In the Shakespearean play “King Lear,” King Lear had three of them, Gonoreil, Cordelia and Regen. Who were they?
Paul Lynde (disgustedly): King Lear had Gonoreil!

Peter Marshall: True or False — are you all right Paul?
Paul Lynde: Just spit it out. (audience laughing)
Peter Marshall: A recent hearing in New Jersey, opponents of fluorinated water argue that too much fluorine in a persons system can cause an uncontrollable desire for sex?
Paul Lynde (shouting): HEY CULLIGAN MAN!

Peter Marshall: Queen Elizabeth generally swings her umbrella behind her back, and immediately, something happens. What?
Paul Lynde: Lord Snowden doubles up in pain.

Peter Marshall: Twiggy reportedly added an inch to her bustline while making (the movie) The Boyfriend. What does that make her bust measurement now?
Paul Lynde: One.

Peter Marshall: Nathan Hale, one of the heroes of the American Revolution, was hung. Why?
Paul Lynde: Heredity!

Peter Marshall: Paul, what profession is the most common for prostitutes after they retire?
Paul Lynde: Smuggling!

Peter Marshall: Oh, Paul, what would we ever do without you?
Paul Lynde: Replace me with Charles Nelson Reilly!

Peter Marshall: What did the Lone Ranger always leave behind when he left town?
Paul Lynde: A masked baby.

Peter Marshall: If a women becomes pregnant while employed, is she now entitled to
six weeks maternity leave?
Paul Lynde: Only if the baby resembles the boss.

Peter Marshall: Paul, true or false, studies show that women in their sixties have a more intense craving for physical romance than when they were in their forties…
Paul Lynde: Well, that’s tough!

Peter Marshall: True or false…there are more psychiatrists in Beverly Hills than plumbers.
Paul Lynde: When my toilet’s backed up, I don’t care who fixes it!

Peter Marshall: True or false…NASA officials report that when Chinese vice-premier Dang visited the astronaut training headquarters recently, the one big question he demanded to know was…where the astronauts go to the bathroom?!
Paul Lynde: The answer was over China!

(from the beginning of the 1980-81 Las Vegas season, when Lynde returned to the show)
Peter Marshall: Okay pick a star…
Contestant: Paul Smith, please?
(Paul breaks up)
Peter Marshall: I’m sorry, who did you say?
Contestant: Paul Smith…
Peter Marshall: Lynde?
Contestant: Paul Lynde!
(audience, stars and Marshall howl with laughter)
Paul Lynde (scowling): Paul Smith! (more laughter) Thanks for the welcome back!

Peter Marshall: Now listen carefully, Paul…during the time of the hula hoop, the yo-yo, and Davy Crockett hats, who was in the White House?
Paul Lynde: I’ll say the yo-yo!

Peter Marshall: Paul, according to the World Book Encylopedia, what is the main reason dogs pant?
Paul Lynde: Because they can’t talk dirty!

Peter Marshall: Sophia Loren has written a cookbook which will be published this spring entitled, “Cooking With …” Cooking with what?
Paul Lynde: Cooking with a three-foot-long spoon.

Peter Marshall: Fidel Castro recently gave Yugoslavia’s Marshall Tito a gift. What was it?
Paul Lynde: A cheap, hand–painted tie.

Peter Marshall: Paul, true or false. Occasionally, a bull moose will hear the horn of diesel train and will run to it thinking that it is its lover?
Paul Lynde: And heaven help the conductor!

Peter Marshall: True or false. In Athens recently they discovered sketches of the great philosopher Socrates, revealing that he bore a striking resemblance to Paul Newman?
Paul Lynde: But he walked like Joanne!

Peter Marshall: Paul, in ancient Rome, bakers were required by law to bake something into each loaf of bread. What?
Paul Lynde: A Christian.

Peter Marshall: The Atlantic Ocean is the major body of water on Africa’s west coast. What major body lies off Africa’s east coast?
Paul Lynde: Ex-president Mobutu.

Peter Marshall: Glen Campbell recently stated, “Love to me is something you …” Something you what?
Paul Lynde: Purchase.

Peter Marshall: Besides a baton , what did Xavier Cugat always have in his hand when he lead his orchestra?
Paul Lynde: Oh, arthritis.

Peter Marshall: A woman who is divorced, has a college education, and is nineteen-years-old is more like to have a certain ailment than anybody else. What ailment?
Paul Lynde: The heartbreak of psorriasis.

Peter Marshall: Can chewing gum help prevent a child from catching a cold?
Paul Lynde: No, but I know it’ll plug a runny nose.

Peter Marshall: Paul, true or false. Nylon is stronger than steel?
Paul Lynde: But steel panties don’t turn me on!

Peter Marshall: Who are more likely to be romantically responsive. Women under thirty or women over thirty?
Paul Lynde: I don’t have a third choice…?

Peter Marshall: Where does most of the olive oil in the world come from?
Paul Lynde: Caesar Romero’s comb.

Peter Marshall: A soap opera in Australia called “Number 96” offers audiences something that no American soap opera has. What?
Paul Lynde: An unfaithful kangaroo.

Peter Marshall: Elizabeth Taylor recently stated, “It wasn’t easy.” And hubby Richard Burton added, “But we both sleep much better.” They were both talking about the same thing. What?
Paul Lynde: Separate bedrooms.

Peter Marshall: According to Billy Graham, is immorality contagious?
Paul Lynde: I know he was down with it for about a month.

Peter Marshall: Karen Valentine made her film debut in a film called “Gidget…” Gidget what?
Paul Lynde: Gidget Gets Morning Sickness.

Peter Marshall: In Greek mythology, what would the god Morpheus do to you while you were asleep?
Paul Lynde: I don’t know, but I got an enchanted hickie.

Peter Marshall: True or false. In Sweden, a person can get an instant divorce?
Paul Lynde: Yes, from poisoned meatballs.

Peter Marshall: After Phyllis Diller’s recent facelift, she received thousands of letters, mostly asking three questions: did it hurt? How much did it cost? And one other…what?
Paul Lynde: Do your eyes close when you sit down?

Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher recently stated, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for them both.” Who or what was he referring to?
Paul Lynde: His fans.

Peter Marshall: True or false. Ari Onassis gave Jackie $5 million worth of jewelry in their first year of marriage alone?
Paul Lynde: And it didn’t cure her headache.

Peter Marshall: In the movies, who gave the advice, “whistle while you work”?
Paul Lynde: It was either Paul Winchell…or Linda Lovelace.

Peter Marshall: In a famous fairy tale, a queen is bathing when a frog jumps out of the water and says, “Thy wish shall be fullfilled.” What was the queen’s wish?
Paul Lynde: She wanted the frog to talk dirty.

Peter Marshall: You became a mother two months ago. And you’ve been feeling a bit depressed lately. According to Cosmopolitan Magazine, is this normal?
Paul Lynde: I hate these stretch marks!

Peter Marshall: Playboy Magazine recently published a book by billionaire J. Paul Getty called, “How To …” How to what?
Paul Lynde: How To Treat Oily Skin.

Peter Marshall: According to Johnny Carson’s ex-wife Joanne, after the divorce, he sent her a copy of a best-selling book. Which one?
Paul Lynde: Shaft!

Peter Marshall: Paul, true or false, the University of Nebraska was recently given $185,000 for an extensive study of the prune.
Paul Lynde: There goes $185,000 down the drain!

31 Years Ago

The year is ….

Ronald Reagan is President of the United States.
It cost 24 cents to mail a letter.
A gallon of gas was 91 cents.
The Washington Redskins beat the Broncos in Super Bowl XXII
The Winter Olympics were held in Calgary.
The average yearly salary was $24,500.
The LA Dodgers beat the Oakland A’s in the World Series.

1988 movies included Rain Man, Die Hard, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Big, A Fish Called Wanda, and ….

1988 music included:

…and Sweet Child O’ Mine from Guns ‘N Roses, too!

It was also a very special year for me …

Always an Abe!

I was reminded by Facebook’s “Memories” feed that it was 31 years ago this week that I graduated from Lincoln High School. (25 years later – to the day – I would graduate from college.) It’s hard to believe that it has been that long. Some days I can’t remember where I put my car keys, but I can remember graduation day like it was yesterday!

The ceremony always happened outside, unless it rained. If it rained, less people from your family could attend, because it was moved indoors to the auditorium. Luckily, the weather cooperated June 9, 1988, and we walked the stage outside in the stadium. The band performed some songs prior to things getting started. As a senior, we played through most of them. I remember conducting a number – it was called Tin Pan Alley. That is a memory I will never forget.

At the required time, the seniors left the band to go line up to walk in (to Pomp and Circumstance). I will always remember in the days leading up to graduation, sitting in band class and the seniors having to “sit out” during a number because we weren’t going to be there when they played it. Sitting in class listening to Pomp and Circumstance while the underclassmen played it was weird. It was then that I knew exactly how the seniors the year before felt when they had to listen while we played it.

I remember someone telling me that your senior year will go fast – they were right. There were times I wish there was a pause button. It was my favorite year of high school hands down. Our football team was undefeated. I had a solo in the marching band show. I went to all the dances and the prom. I got my first new car and spent many hours with my friends driving around listening to mix tapes I had made.

Things I Miss Most

It’s 31 years later and there are times I wish I could go back. There are so many things I miss about high school:

Friday Night Football Games. Yes, I miss playing in the Halftime Show, but I also miss watching our boys win! My classmates were always out their playing hard, and as I said, were undefeated my senior year. Coach Jim Benefield was the BEST! Hands down.

Movies in Class. Whenever you walked into a class and saw the TV and VCR, you were instantly excited. Even if it was some dumb educational film, it was a welcome event!

School Holidays. Winter Break! Christmas Break! Extra days surrounding other holidays! We had a lot of extra time off! And who can forget Summer Vacation?! In some countries, extra days off and built in vacation time is looked at as a must. Productivity in those countries are high and workers are happy. Sadly, once you graduate, you seem to work to death and often have to fight to get time off! I miss those holidays!!

Yearbooks. There was a time where you didn’t know what your picture looked like until the teacher passed them out. 9 times out of 10, mine came out looking terrible. Even Picture Retake Day didn’t help! There are plenty of bad yearbook pictures of me! There are also plenty of other kids with bad yearbook pictures. Today, I love sitting back and reading the things people wrote in my yearbook.

Less Responsibilities. This holds true for most adults. We tend to look back at the days of ‘freedom”. Who wouldn’t want to be in a position to not worry about whether or not you have enough money to pay bills?!

Working While Going to School. My first job was at a boat marina. They worked around my crazy band and school schedule. I don’t remember the hourly rate, but I do remember getting a check for $150-$250 every two weeks. It was like “mad money”. I used it to buy albums, tapes, books, and gadgets. I really had no bills, and a teenager rarely saves money.

Passing Notes. Long before texting, we used to write notes and pass them back and forth in classes and in the hallways. Sometimes, I’d get caught passing one in class. I did most note passing in the hallway. Many times it was just stupid gossip, a drawing, or the “Do you want to go to the dance – check yes or no” type note. Some folks even got real creative about the way the notes were folded, too!

Lockers. I am sure my locker partner, Joe (who was always good at numbers), can remember our locker combination! I remember it was outside the library, under the clock, on the second floor. I rarely used it after freshman year. I kept most of my books in the band room or in a backpack. A lot of girls decorated the inside of their lockers, and on game days, they often decorated the lockers of the football players. I think my locker was basically a storage place for whatever I didn’t want to take home.

Less Technology. I’ll be the first to admit that I am connected to my phone today. But, back in school, we weren’t connected to it. We talked to people. We had to use the card catalog to find books and encyclopedias to write reports. We used maps. We watched film strips! We had to thread the film projector. We rewound tapes to listen to a song again. Yeah, technology is great, but there were advantages to not having it too.

Field Trips. You had to have your permission slips! I never did the Washington DC trip. I did do a Florida Trip to Disney. I also loved those little trips to places like the Detroit Science Center or Cranbrook. I remember having my mom chaperone a couple times. Field trips were probably more frequent in elementary and middle school, but the ones in high school were always great fun!

Young Love. As you flip through a yearbook, you can often see those high school romances (the ones that lasted, and the ones that didn’t). I know a few people who married their high school sweetheart and they are still together!! That’s amazing! With young love comes hurt in many cases. I witnessed that at a prom I DJ’d recently. I remember seeing this guy sitting on the floor with his face in his hands and I thought, “I know how you feel, pal.”

Dances/Prom. It wasn’t until high school that I even attended a dance. It always seemed like it was just me and a few friends going to get out of the house. We never danced with anyone, we sat and talked and listened to the music. We walked around and drank that really crappy punch that always seemed to be the drink provided. I remember going to Homecoming with a gal who asked me. I had no idea even how to dance! After that night, though, I realized dancing with girls was a whole lot more fun than sitting eating those stale mints and drinking that punch! I remember using some of the money I was making at that boat job to rent a tux and go in on a limo for the fancier dances.

Teachers. No surprise here. Go back and read some of the many blogs I have written about the teachers I had in high school. They were the best! Mr. Shaner, Mr. Benefield, Mr. Balos, Mr. Yanoulaki, Mrs. Carter, Mrs. Beltz, Mr. Harvey, the list goes on and on. I am friends with many of them on Facebook. I am also friends with other teachers who I never had in class, but always respected and made an impact on me. I was lucky to know them in high school – and after!

Friends. My core group of friends and I have pretty much stayed in touch since high school. With My Space and Facebook, I have been able to reconnect with those I lost touch with. That’s one thing about technology that I am ok with. A downside to this is that since we all are connected on Facebook, our chances of a real reunion probably won’t happen (Not that we ever really had one – we didn’t. We tagged along with the Class of ’89 once, but nothing official for my class.) What was great about high school is that you always saw your friends every day. It was always extra cool when they were in the same class as you. The ones that weren’t, you couldn’t wait to meet them in the hall to tell them about something silly that happened or to plan something for after school. I miss that, but at the same time, when I am finally able to hook up with a friend on the phone or on social media, I enjoy picking up where we left off.

The Future. In high school, the future seemed so unclear. There were infinite possibilities. Your career path had not been chosen yet. There was a blank canvas for you to paint on. You had so many choices. You were in control over what you did next. The future was bright and it was something to look forward to. I’m not saying that 31 years later, I have no future, I do. It’s just different to look at it and know that the future is a bit more narrow since there is a lot less time ahead of me. I can still look ahead and know that there are a lot of good things awaiting me. I still look forward to the future, but I am looking at it through eyes that have seen more than an 18 year old. I have experienced more hurt. I have seen more cruelty and negativity. I have seen more dishonesty and hatred. I have lived through much difficulty. I look at the future a bit more cautiously now than I did at 18. I am smarter now, I hope.

Final Thoughts

Would I love to go back to the days of my youth? Would I love to have less responsibility, no bills, and have more time to just have fun? Yes. Without a doubt! However, if I were to go back to those days, I would live through some hurtful times, through depression, and shame. I would likely make some of the same bad decisions. I would make the same mistakes, maybe more.

Truth is, if I had the opportunity to go back and change things, I probably wouldn’t. Anyone who has watched Back to the Future or any time travel movie knows that all it takes is one small change to change everything else in the future. Would I like to go back and erase embarrassing moments? Would I like to go back and take back words I said in anger? Would I like to correct a mistake? Sure. But if I did that, it changes where I am today.

Yeah, I went through some real crappy times, but they all brought me to where I am today. Today, I am a happily married man. I have an amazing wife. I have two wonderful sons. I have some of the most amazing friends. I have a loving family. Life is good. Why would I want to change it?

Tune Tuesday – Vieni Su

Last Friday marked the 102nd birthday of my all time favorite singer, Dean Martin. I wrote a birthday blog for him last year, and this year, I had hoped to post my Top 10 Dean songs. As stated in my previous blog, I didn’t get to do that because I was busy prepping my speech for the sleep conference. So for Tune Tuesday, I wanted to share one of my favorite Dino songs.

If someone asked me to pick my favorite Dean Martin album, I would probably pick “Dino – Italian Love Songs.” I have this on vinyl and I have listened to it more than once on the record player my wife bought me for my birthday.

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One of my favorite cuts on the album is a song written by Johnny Cola called Vieni Su.

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As far as the lyrics to this song, there aren’t many. As a matter of fact, it’s one verse and a chorus. Perhaps that’s what makes it all the more powerful to me. In Italian, Vieni means “come” and Su means “on”. The song is about a man who has waited for his special woman. He adores her and loves her. Now, he wants her to come with him through the years ahead and spend the time ahead together. A simple love story.

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The song was recorded while Dean was still with Capitol Records. The melody of this song is just beautiful. I love the entire arrangement of this song. Dean’s vocal is simple, and spot on. It is such a perfect love song. It is one that I can listen to over and over again.

Vieni Su

Vieni su, vieni su, vieni
Come along through the years with me
Can’t you see how I adore you
And how long I waited for you

Vieni su, vieni su
Won’t you say you love me too

Can’t you see how much I adore you
And how long I waited for you
Vieni su, vieni su
Won’t you say you love me too

Four Things You Can’t Recover …

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My last blog was 7 days ago. I had hoped to write for Tune Tuesday, I wanted to write a birthday blog for my wife, do a Top 10 song list for Dean Martin’s birthday and post a couple blogs as well, but I am a procrastinator. I was asked to speak at the annual sleep conference at the Greektown Casino last week. I had known my topic and the basic points I wanted to make since April. I compiled the list of goals and gave an overview of the talk and sent it to the folks who asked me to speak, but I procrastinated until the week of the talk to put it together. So, the past week has been spent outlining, planning, and editing my speech as well as creating the PowerPoint that was to accompany it.

During my radio career, I have stood in front of audiences of hundreds and thousands of people and introduced performers. It was nothing to do this. For this talk, which was to be in front of about 100-150 people, I was really nervous. I know why – I was speaking to a group of peers. I was going to get up and present a talk to people who have been doing what I do for many more years than me. I kept asking myself, “Who am I to be the one up here talking?! There are people in this audience who are WAY smarter than me!” Every one kept telling me I’d be fine, yet, I still worried – until I got there.

Once I walked in, I ran into friends from college, friends who I worked with at another sleep lab, co-workers and friends from my current sleep lab, vendors who I have known for some time, and many familiar faces. With each interaction with these people, the anxiety and nervousness faded quickly. Once I was introduced, and I had the microphone, it was easy as pie! It went very well, and many people who I had never met even came up to compliment me. It was a very cool day.

There was one thing that happened after the conference that is really the point of this blog. I’ll explain in a second. Something came up in my Facebook “memory” feed that I could apply to what happened, and also makes for a good blog post. So, here it is:

Four Things That Can Never Be Recovered

I won’t lie, I stole this from a friend who had posted it originally. I find this to be very powerful and thought provoking. So what are the four things? “The stone after the throw, the word after it’s spoken, the occasion after it’s missed, and the time after it’s gone.” I found myself reading this more than once, and thinking about each of these things. I wasn’t going to blog about it, but the more I thought about it, the more it kept telling me to write on it.

The Stone After The Throw / The Word After It’s Spoken

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These two things go kind of hand in hand. When you hit someone with a stone it hurts (physically). When you say something out of anger, or without thinking how it might be taken by the person you are talking to it also hurts (emotionally).

Now, most of us are not out throwing stones at each other. However, we frequently act without thinking. We are prone to act or speak based on emotions. In many of those instances, we act or speak without really thinking about it. Words or actions happen before the possible consequences are even considered. All too often, we regret having said or done something knowing (after the fact) that it was hurtful.

This relates to the instance that happened to me after the conference. It didn’t involve anyone at the conference. I won’t go into much detail, but it was after an interaction I had with someone. I had texted that person prior to my arrival, so this may have been how the “stone” wound up being thrown at me. As I left that person, my phone “dinged”. It was a text message, from the person I had just left not 60 seconds earlier. I will spare you the profanity that was in it, and let you fill in the blanks. It read, “Keith is such a M___ F____ P___ A___ D____ B___!”

So, me being the guy I am, I responded with “Yes, but how do you really feel?” For just a minute, put yourself in their shoes. I don’t know what they felt, perhaps panic at first, knowing that they totally meant it for someone else to read? Maybe they felt stupid? Maybe they felt regret? Maybe they didn’t feel anything. I don’t know. It took a few minutes for them to respond back.

Their response basically said “Sorry” and that it “was meant for someone else.” It went on to say not to “take it seriously” and to have a good rest of the weekend. I did not respond to this. After a while later, another text came to me saying how wrong it was to text me that or “anyone for that matter.” The person said that they “were trying to be funny” and admitted that it was “a mean thing to do.” They said it was “weighing on” their conscience and that they were “really embarrassed and sorry.” They also said how it was not very “Christian-like.”

I chose not to respond to this either. I certainly could have, but I didn’t. I was reminded of a Bible verse that I heard a pastor teach on at church one Sunday. The verse is James 1:19 which reads, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”

The point of the entire message that week was basically this: when we listen to one another, when we stop and think about what we are going to say, when we are slow to respond, and slow to anger – less “stones are thrown” and less hurtful “words are spoken”. Imagine how much easier things would be if we not only thought about the words we want to say, but how those words will be taken by the other person!

My best friend, sent me this today. It fits:

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The Occasion After It’s Missed / The Time After It’s Gone

I had a friend who was a big Prince fan. He loved his music, but never seemed to find the time to see him in concert. He talked about it all the time and would often say, “I’ll get tickets the next time he is in town.” When Prince died in 2016, he was shocked and to this day says he regrets not buying tickets to his show. “I never thought he’d not be around! He was so young. I should have had more chances to see him!” The occasion came and went (a few times) and he missed it.

I have many regrets about occasions I have missed. Not just concerts, but other things. I regret not seeing my grandmother more because I was afraid to see her with cancer. I regret not calling my friend, only to find out he had passed away. I regret things that I may have said to friends while loaded up with medications. I regret many occasions that came, and I missed them.

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There are hundreds of songs about time. I could probably fill an entire blog about songs that reflect on the fact that “time flies”. This is an easy thing to see – in hind sight. It’s never so easy to see in real time. It seems like yesterday that my oldest son was born, yet next year he is a Senior in high school! “Where did the time go?” we ask ourselves. Kenny Chesney’s song says, “Don’t Blink.” Isn’t that the truth?! One minute your child is a baby and the next thing you know, they’re graduating. It’s eye opening – and emotional!

In life, and I have certainly been guilty of this, we often fail to prioritize what really is important. Finding a balance between your work and home life is a huge challenge for many, but it is extremely important. As I look back, I can think of many times work took priority over other things. Because of that, I missed out on some pretty big things.

Employers are to blame as well, as many of them claim to be an environment where an employee’s family life is important, but their actions say otherwise. I am always overjoyed to read of a place of employment that allows a new father to have some time off with their new baby and spouse. It’s a rare thing, though. I have seen people be denied vacation requests, despite the fact that they have the time to take. They are told that too many other have that time off, or some other form of office politics. Some people don’t even get to take their vacations, and if they do, they are working during it. How sad is this?!

Time waits for no one! It continues second by second. Hour by hour. Year by year. Sometimes it seems to drag, but most of the time, it seems to fly by. Use it wisely.

time

Time management should be something that encompasses the balance of your life daily. “I don’t have time to exercise,” “I can’t find a way to fit that in to my schedule,” or “I should have made time for that” are all things that we hear people say daily. Guess what? YOU have control over your time and what you do with it. Manage it and make time for the important things.

Yes, you still have to work, but you can chose to work only when working. Give your all when you are at work. Do your job. Do it well. Manage your time so you get everything done when it needs to be done. Don’t bring your work home with you. You aren’t on the clock at home. One of the best things I did was to disconnect my work e-mail from my phone. I check it when I am at work. Why would I want to think about work, when I am home with my wife? Why would I sit on my e-mail when I could listen to my youngest tell me about how much fun he had on a field trip? No, I leave my work at work. (By doing this, I am actually more productive at work, and less stressed at home!)

Outside of work, make time for family and friends. Do what you enjoy doing. De-stress. Live life. Do things that make you happy. “Life was meant to be lived” someone once told me. It’s true. Up until recently, I often found myself wishing I had done things. I found myself regretting not doing something. I also regret doing some things that took away from the important things. This has to stop.

With all the things that have changed over the past few years, it is time to make sure I do not look back with regrets. I want to be able to look back and smile at all the things I accomplished. I want to remember all the good things and people in my life. I want to say that I lived life where I am not ashamed of wasting time on things that were unimportant. I want to “waste” time doing things I love. John Lennon once said, “Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted.”

Make time for the moments in life that you don’t want to miss! Time cannot be recovered once it is gone.

If you get anything out of this blog today, I hope it is this: Life has many moments to offer us, no matter how old we are. So, moving forward consider your actions, think before you speak, enjoy life’s occasions, and utilize your time to the fullest.

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Oh, and here is an occasion NOT missed – a great shot of the sunset at the fair I took my sons to this weekend. Beautiful!!!

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