Throwback Thursday

I promised my buddy Max a “happy” post, since the last few were sad in nature. When I opened up the Blog “Reader,” I saw a prompt from Maggie at From Cave Walls. I thought this would be a good way to feature a “happier” topic.

This week’s prompt is: Costumes

1. Did you celebrate Halloween? If so, what was your most memorable costume?

Yes, as kids we certainly did. As I recently blogged about here (https://nostalgicitalian.com/2022/10/23/ghosts-of-halloween-past/), I found myself having issues remembering many of the costumes I wore. I have a few that I recall from some parties – doctor, Caesar, 80’s rocker, monk, but nothing out of the ordinary.

2. As a child, did you like pretending you were someone else? Did you create costumes with things around the house?

As a child, I remember pretending to be many people: Batman, Random Spy Guy, Rosco P. Coltrane from the Dukes of Hazzard and so many more! Rosco was the only one I had a “costume” for – I had a cowboy hat and a badge.

My brother and I were creative. One time we took these old boxes and made hats out of them. They are insanely stupid.

3. When was the last time you dressed in a costume? What was the reason?

The last time I dressed in a true “costume” was a few years ago. Sam and I went to a Halloween party as Popeye and Olive Oyl!

I love that picture of us. Sam’s mom made her Olive Oyl outfit.

4. Did you ever attend Mardi Gras, Carnival or any other festival with masks or costumes? Did you wear a mask or costume?

No – Maybe someday.

5. Were you ever in a play (school or otherwise) that required a costume? If so, who were you?

I’ve mentioned it in passing before, but yes, I was in a play in Elementary School called The Runaway Snowman. I was the snowman. His name may have been Happy or something, I can’t recall. There was a costume that I pulled over my head and stuffed with pillows. They painted my face and gave me a hat. The photos still make me laugh because I look so ridiculous.

6. Do you participate in cosplay or go to Comic Conventions?

I have a few friends who do cosplay stuff, but I never have. I have never been to a Comic Convention either, but it seems like they always seem to have cool celebrities there that you can meet and take pictures with. I might go if there was a chance to see someone like that.

7. What character from movies, comics, or plays has the best costume?

I always thought Zorro had a cool costume.

8. Think of scary or horror movies. Which character’s costume and/or make up was the most frightening? Was it the costume alone, or the movie itself which made it frightening?

I don’t watch a lot of scary movies, at least modern ones. It’s really hard for me to say. I remember Darth Vader freaking me out as a kid. I couldn’t sleep for a few days because he was so scary to me.

9. Have you ever visited historic places where the staff wears period costumes? If so, where was it?

Greenfield Village in Dearborn, MI has many people dressed in period costumes, as does the fort at Mackinac Island. I’m hoping to visit Philadelphia, Gettysburg, or some of the towns connected with the country’s independence and perhaps see some reenactments.

10. Have you ever attended a Broadway or Off Broadway or Community Theatre production with great costumes? Leave a clip or photo here of your favorite.

Yes. One time I saw a Chorus Line (which I hated). My dad took my wife and I to see the Phantom of the Opera, which was fantastic. The one I was most impressed with, though was Wicked. I took my wife to see it in Detroit. It was really a good story with good music. It is one of my favorite date nights.

Scars in Heaven

This afternoon our family said our final goodbyes to Grace. If you aren’t up to speed, Grace was my ten year old sister-in-law, who passed away.

Funerals, in general, are sad. Funerals for children are very sad. A parent should never have to bury their child, but the fact is that many have to. Life can be so unfair.

Prior to the service starting, my father-in-law pulled me aside and asked if I would be a pall bearer. Without having to think, I said yes. It would be an honor to do that.

As with most funerals, the pastor shared stories of things that he had learned by talking with the family. One particular story involved Ella:

After Grace had passed away her mom and dad had her bedroom door closed. Ella had gone over there with her and when she saw the door closed, she insisted that she go see Grace.

Now, Ella was aware that Grace was sick. She knew that she couldn’t eat cookies, because she had a feeding tube. Prior to her passing we told Ella that Aunt Grace was going to live with Jesus soon.

So that day she pulled the door open, only to see that Grace was not there. She asked where she was and Sam said she wasn’t here. “Well, tell her to come back,” she said. Sam reminded her that she had gone to live with Jesus. Ella asked “And now she can eat cookies?”

Yes, baby, now she can eat cookies.

At one point in the service a woman sang a song I was unfamiliar with. It was called Scars In Heaven. It was the perfect song. Grace had numerous health problems and more surgeries than I can count. Her scars were many.

I found out the song is by Casting Crowns. Here is a link to the music video:

Here are the lyrics:

Scars in Heaven

If I had only known the last time would be the last time
I would’ve put off all the things I had to do
I would’ve stayed a little longer, held on a little tighter
Now what I’d give for one more day with you

‘Cause there’s a wound here in my heart where something’s missing
And they tell me that it’s gonna heal with time
But I know you’re in a place where all your wounds have been erased
And knowing yours are healed is healing mine

The only scars in Heaven, they won’t belong to me and you
There’ll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now, even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in Heaven are on the hands that hold you now

I know the road you walked was anything but easy
You picked up your share of scars along the way
Oh, but now you’re standing in the sun, you’ve fought your fight and your race is run
The pain is all a million miles away

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, for the hands that hold you now

There’s not a day goes by that I don’t see you
You live on in all the better parts of me
Until I’m standing with you in the sun, I’ll fight this fight and this race I’ll run
Until I finally see what you can see, oh-oh

———-

At the end of the service, those in attendance walked up and passed Grace in her casket. Once it was all family, we all walked up together. Watching Sam’s mom and Dad say their goodbyes was hard enough, but they then positioned the stuffed animals around her in the casket and closed it.

Even with close family members, every funeral I have attended I have never seen them close the casket. It was more powerful and more emotional than I can say. I understand that some feel like it helps with closure, but it was just a bit more than I could handle.

As pallbearer, I stood at my position and helped walk her to the door. We lifted her into the back of the hearse. As it drove off the, we stood watching out the door. Once the hearse was out of site, dad called us all together and shared words through tears.

The family had a luncheon immediately afterwards. Ella and Andrew were with their cousins in the playroom at the church for the service. So many people were happy to see them when they came out. It was close to Naptime, however, so they were a bit tired.

The show of love and support from family and friends was so nice. There were lots of great conversations over lunch and in hallways, and such. I am glad that there were so many people there to offer support. I pray that it will continue in the time ahead.

My grandma once observed that “we only see family at weddings and funerals.”. Sadly, this tends to be true. Time is so short and I hope that there are other family get togethers planned so that truth isn’t so … True.

Until we meet again, Grace…. Save a few cookies for us.

Free From Earthly Burdens

The above picture is of a grave marker designed by a grieving father in Utah. This photo has made the rounds on the internet for many years. Captions vary, but they all seem to include that the father created it to represent his paralyzed son reaching up to the sky from the wheelchair he spent his life in. It is said to represent that his son is finally “free from his earthly burdens.”

This image popped into my mind this afternoon as I walked into the church where my 10 year old sister-in-law’s viewing took place. My wife and her family were there before I arrived. I took Ella and Andrew to the baby sitter and joined them afterwards.

When I walked in, a video played with photos from Grace’s life. Her smile ever present. Instrumental Disney songs played along with the video. Grace loved Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

There was a beautiful blanket with her picture on it and “Always in Our Hearts” written in a Disney font off to the side. Surrounding her was a stuffed Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Pluto, and Goofy.

I once again remembered the image above. Grace is free from her earthly burdens. No more wheelchair, no more feeding tube, no more pain, and no more suffering. I personally believe, based on my knowledge of Scripture, that she is feeling a joy that none of us has ever experienced. She is walking, talking, and singing. What a wonderful thing to know.

As with any death, it is hardest on those who are left behind. There is a void. There is the adjustment that has to be made to their being absent from our lives. There is the grieving process that has to happen for each one of us (and every one will grieve differently). It will not be easy.

My heart sank as I read a Facebook post from my father-in-law the other day: “This morning was so different. Normally Pam starts Grace’s breathing treatments while I make my coffee, then Pam gets Grace’s meds made up while I finish her treatments. Drinking coffee with no Grace brought tears to my eyes then I remembered her body has been restored and she doesn’t need treatments anymore that made me smile. Pam and I are trying to adjust to our new normal. Thanks for all the phone calls texts visits and prayers.”

The “new normal” isn’t normal at all. There will be many adjustments and life goes on for the rest of us and there will be many emotional hurdles to get over in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead.

Grace’s memorial service will take place at noon Wednesday. I would appreciate your prayers and positive thoughts for my wife, her parents, and our family. It is going to be a very hard day.

Sigh. 16 years.

At 5:24am 16 years ago, with her hand in mine, my mother took her last breath here on earth. She was finally freed from the pain she suffered for a decade from Breast Cancer and all the treatments and medications she had because of the disease. For those of us who were left behind, there was pain in her leaving, but joy that the suffering was over. Since her passing, there have been many changes in my life. How I wish I could call her and just talk. I can’t tell you the number of times I have wanted her advice. There are so many things I wish I could apologize for, so many things I want to say, and so many things I long to hear. I am blessed to have some wonderful friends who have stood by me through some powerful storms lately, storms that would have made a bit easier with a call to mom.

To those who still have their parents I say this – no matter what, make peace with them. Do not take them for granted. Enjoy each and every moment you have with them, even if it hearing the same story for the umpteenth time. Enjoy a cup of coffee with them. Take your kids to see them. Do not let another day go by without saying those things that you want to say. Make sure they know how thankful you are. Make sure they know you love them. Life is too short and when they are gone, you will long for those little things that seemed so trivial or unimportant.

It’s been a bit harder the past few years. So many great things have happened. So many life events she wasn’t around to experience. She would be so proud of her oldest grandsons and would be spoiling her granddaughter and new grandson. She would be sharing embarrassing stories about me to my wife and so much more.

I miss my mom each and every day. My love for her is neverending, like hers was for me. The void remains – her laughter, her voice, and her smile are now but a memory that lives on in photos and old lost video tapes. I miss her so much ….

Brakes – Broke!

It wasn’t too long ago that my father-in-law, my brother-in-law, and I worked on the brakes on my car. Recently, I began to hear grinding on one of the back brakes. It was just the one and there was no indication that the pads were going before it began grinding.

If you are familiar with the brake pads, they have a little indicator thingy that when your pads are getting low, they begin to squeal a bit. My brakes never did that. The one side just started grinding – and bad.

The day I noticed it, I pulled into work and could see that the pad was tearing a huge gouge right in the middle of the rotor. The other side was fine. I couldn’t really figure out what happened. My brother-in-law and father-in-law thought I might have gotten a set of bad pads and one cracked. By the time we got a day to work on them, that pad had tore up the entire rotor on that side.

They had gotten so loud that any time I stopped at a drive thru for coffee, the workers looked at me and the back end of my car as I drove up to the window. As I drove away, the watched as well, probably hoping to see sparks flying from the back wheels or something!

After calling around and getting estimates, I picked up the parts and we were blessed to have a nice day to work on them. My brother-in-law said it would be a “piece of cake” and the whole job should take less than an hour. We figured we’d jack up both ends at the same time and he could do one side while I did the other. Our time saving idea really didn’t work.

We forgot about one of the bolts that happened to be in a really tight place on the brake shoe. The nut sits in such a way that you can barely get a wrench in there to loosen or tighten it. The longest part of the job was getting to that particular nut. We had to painstakingly turn this nut little by little (maybe 1/8 turns at a time) until we could loosen them by hand. What a pain!

Once we got the old rotor off and the pads on back on the shoe, everything came together quickly. That is until we had to tighten that one bolt/nut again. I swear that was tedious! It took so much time.

Finally we got everything set and we put the tires back on. My father-in-law has a socket for the lug nuts. He also has a breaker bar which you put over the socket to tighten or loosen the nuts. Basically, the end of the socket goes into the hollow tube of the breaker bar. His is square, but this gives you a sort of idea as to what I am talking about:

So the tire is now on the ground and I have this socket in the pipe. I am tugging on all the lug nuts to be sure they are secure. I must not have had the socket one one of the nuts, because as I tugged on it, the bar slipped off the socket and because I was bent over, the thing came up and conked me on the forehead! The only thing missing was the “pipe konk” sound effect used in a Three Stooges film! I saw stars for a few, but recovered quickly.

The goose egg had gone down a lot by the time I took a picture of it. You can still see it and it still hurts like a bugger!!

I’m happy to say that despite the comedy interlude, the brakes are working fine. Thanks to my father-in-law and brother-in-law for their help once again!

A Barrel of Fun?

Today’s history lesson:

Annie Edson Taylor of Bay City, MI was the first to survive a trip over Niagara Falls in a barrel. She used a custom-made barrel with padding and leather straps. She climbed inside the airtight barrel, the air pressure was compressed with a bicycle pump and on her 63rd birthday, October 24, 1901, with her pet cat cradled in her arms, she headed down the Niagara River towards Horseshoe Falls. After the plunge, rescuers found her alive with only a small gash on her head. She was hoping for fame and fortune with her stunt, but she died in poverty.

A Palette of Stellar Color

Every Autumn God grabs His palette and paints such beautiful scenery! Here in Michigan, we have so many wonderful places to see the fall colors. My friend Stacey was just posting pictures of the world famous “Tunnel of Trees,” which is something I have yet to witness first hand.

My friend Jennifer recently moved to the Upper Peninsula and posted photos of Tahquamenon Falls, which is just beautiful in the fall. It has been over 20 years since I have been there, but when I was there, the fall colors were just spectacular.

Any trip to work I take now allows me to see some wonderful colors all along I-75, too. The colors are especially vibrant this year. There is more red and pink than I think I have ever seen.

What is great about Michigan is that I don’t have to go very far to enjoy the colors. There are plenty of beautiful colors right in our neighborhood. Here are just some from recent walks with my kids and just sitting in the yard.

The beginning of the reds coming in on the maple next to our house.

A little bit green, a little orange, and a little red

The leaves on the maple tree were mostly yellow, with a twinge of red at the tips of the leaves

Pink and red on top and yellow toward the bottom

The variety of color behind these houses is just amazing

The bright reddish pinks this year are simply beautiful

My favorite tree in the neighborhood. It is always the brightest and sadly, always seems to be the first to lose its leaves. Very Pretty this year.

Such an amazing look to these red leaves

One of the coolest leaves in our back yard. It almost looks like someone drew on this with a yellow marker or paint.

I have walked a little slower the past few neighborhood walks, just so I can take in all the colors. I am in awe every Autumn as I stop and just stare up into the the colorful trees….

These pictures were taken with my cell phone, and they don’t really do them justice.

Ghosts of Halloween Past

A few years back, I wrote a blog about those terrible Halloween costumes we used to wear as kids. You know, the one with the plastic masks with the holes in them? The masks with that cheap rubber band that always broke? Remember those? Here is a link to that blog as a refresher for you:

Halloween Dress Up

There was a Trunk or Treat close to our house recently and I could see all the kids dressed up in their Halloween costumes. I tried to remember what I had dressed up as for Halloween as a kid and I really cannot remember. So I pulled out a hard drive which contains a bunch of photo scans from my dad. I figured if my folks had taken any pictures of us in costumes, they’d be on that drive.

What I found was that there were next to none on this drive. There were a couple, which I will share, but nothing from when we were really young. I guess my parents must have thought those costumes with the cheap masks and slits for eyes were not photo worthy. The only ones they took pictures of were when we did something out of the ordinary.

One year my brother and I wanted to be vampires or something. So my dad bought the make up and such and the result was … less than steller.

We don’t even have capes! I dunno, this get up stumps me. My dad tried to make me look like Sir Graves Ghastly, who was a local horror movie host on TV. I think that he did a good job, but without the rest of the vampire ensemble, people had to wonder who they heck we were!

Sir Graves Ghastly. We met him once at a mall appearance. He was very cool and everyone asked him to do his “laugh.”

Another year I went out as Oliver Hardy of Laurel and Hardy.

I’m sure this also made no sense to people answering the door because my brother dressed up as a woman. Perhaps Mr. Hardy had a date? I suppose I could have been mistaken for Charlie Chaplin, but my body shape was more Hardy than Chaplin!

The only other Halloween picture I have is from my Sophomore year of high school. The band had a Halloween party at some barn as I recall and we all went to it. I didn’t know what to go as, and decided on going as a clown. I threw on a pair of pajama pants over my jeans, one of my dad’s old shirts, an awful sport coat, clown wig, hat and tie, and added a huge horn. It was ridiculous!

This is just a guess, but that year at the annual Band Banquet, I won the Mock Elections for “Band Clown.” I am sure that this outfit played a part in that win. It was cool to win that award every year I was in band.

While this wasn’t necessarily Halloween, one of the other photos of my “in costume” that came up was one that I used when I worked at 94.5 The Moose. I used to take song lyrics and read them behind some classical music and called it a “Dramatic Reading.” It was a silly chance to “overact.”

The first reading I did was Gretchen Wilson’s Redneck Woman. Imagine classical music playing with me dramatically saying, “Victoria Secret. There’s stuff’s real nice. But I can buy the same damn thing on a Walmart shelf – half price!” It was utter stupidity. To promote it on the website, they took this picture:

HA! I’m such an idiot!

I suppose it is probably better that there are no pictures of me in those cheap costumes. I remember I was always overweight and the pants always seemed to rip before we were done Trick or Treating. And half the time, the thing that held the mask on broke after three or four blocks and wound up in the bottom of the Trick or Treat bag or pillowcase anyway.

As silly as these are, they are fun to look back at!

Endless Grace

My sister-in-law Grace passed away at around 8am Friday morning. On behalf of our family, I thank you for your prayers and support through this very difficult time.

There is great sadness in our family with the passing of Grace. How does one even begin to put into words what you are feeling at a time like this? We grieve because she is no longer with us, but rejoice that she is with Jesus and free from pain. We will never forget her smile and laughter.

In her brief time on earth, she brought so much joy. Her smile lit up a room. Her laughter was contagious. She was a hero to all who knew her. She was a brave fighter who always seemed able to come out on top. She was such a beautiful blessing.

There are some people who have an amazing talent to put things into words. One of those is Grace of https://graceofthesun.com/ . I would like to extend my deepest thanks to her for writing a poem that moved me to tears when I read it. It will be shared with our family and is a lovely tribute to our Grace.

Endless Grace

An angel flew into our lives,
to give life meaning so love shines,
opened our hearts to swiftly dive,
her essence perfectly divine.

Sweet sunny smile created dawn,
lessons that came made us all strong,
fears that these days may soon be gone,
formed prayers for joys to prolong.

An angel flew into our lives,
to help us glow from deep inside,
she gave us great purpose and drive,
taught all she touched to let zest guide.

A spirit composed of true light,
blessed us for a short space in time,
miracle presence filled with might,
twirled in our minds to peaceful chimes.

An angel exited our lives,
flew high above beyond the sky,
finally free to play and strive,
kisses the tears that slip our eyes.

Fond memories with us each day,
mental pictures will not erase,
Infinite bonds could never sway,
grateful to have danced with pure Grace.

– Grace Y. Estevez – Reddy

The well known hymn is entitled “Amazing Grace,” and our Grace was certainly amazing.

We will miss her so very much.

Friday Photo Flashback

Time for another Friday Photo Flashback. This time around I’m taking you to my room….circa 1990.

The shelf you are looking at sat above my bed (a waterbed…lol). Above it was another shelf with the globe my grandmother had got me for Christmas, some ceramic pieces my mom made me and a few other things.

Just by looking at this picture, I can recall where everything else was in the room. To the right of this picture is the window that looks out to the front yard. On the wall opposite this one, my dresser sat in the corner. Directly next to it was a shelf that my cheap stereo system sat on.

(The stereo had a double cassette deck, turntable, radio tuner, and a place for a microphone. Long before I worked in radio, I made tapes for people with songs I recorded off the radio with me acting as DJ. I know I’d be embarrassed to hear those now!)

The closet was to the left of this picture. All along the walls were photos, posters, and your typical teen wall decor. The shelf pictured here was the focal point of the room.In a way, this shelf encompasses “me.”

Centered on it are the (now long gone) Three Stooges figurines. I really wish I still had them. I marvelled at the detail of the faces when I first saw them. They were fairly expensive when they came out. They represent “humor,” which has always been important in my life. To laugh and make people laugh … It’s a very big part of who I was/am.

Above the Stooges, a treble clef and music notes hang. Both were gifts from my mom. I’m sure the clef hung elsewhere in the house before she gave it to me. Music has always been important to me and continues to be.

To the left of Larry is an award I got in my senior year. I think it was for “Best Dancer” which is ridiculous. I probably only got the award because I did the Curly Shuffle once at a band party. I’ve never claimed to be a dancer. Perhaps when I hit my goal weight, I will think about a dance class with Sam.

To the right of Moe is my high school diploma. I always joke that I was in the half of the class that made the top half possible. I think if it wasn’t for band class, I probably would have done even worse. I was not the ideal student. That experience only helped me when we I finally went to college – I knew what NOT to do!

The two flags were something I got at Epcot one year. They represent my Italian and American heritage. There is more in my background on my mom’s side (English, Scottish, and German), but I tend to embrace the Italian more

The screwdriver on the shelf? I have no explanation for. I’m screwy, maybe? Yeah. That’s true in a lot of ways.