I am a bit overwhelmed today. So overwhelmed that I wasn’t sure I’d want to write. However, I feel I need to.
As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog, I had a doctor visit to discuss the results of all of the ADHD testing. I will tell you that it was about as thorough as you can get. Some of the tests seemed silly, but I guess the tests are very scientific and really do give accurate results.
The doctor visit went over the results with me and we discussed the diagnosis and plan of action. She also sent me a copy of the full report, which I couldn’t read until long after the phone call because I couldn’t read it on my phone. I printed it at work and read it in its entirety.
Now that I think about it, overwhelmed may be an understatement. The break down of the various things that the tests showed were accurate and made me realize that there were things I knew I did, but never ever connected it with ADHD, dopamine or other neurotransmitters and how they played into my daily life.
So I officially have a diagnosis. Two of them actually. First, yes, I have ADHD – the combined type. Second, I have Dysthymic Disorder, which is basically long term depression. That was a shock, because I really felt like I was over that. I have good days and bad days, but never felt as though it was a problem anymore. Apparently, it is.
So now, we have a plan of action. I have another appointment at the end of the month to put it all in place and move forward. Based on our discussion today, this plan should really help me in many ways. That makes me look ahead with the hope that things get better and life is a bit more controlled and … normal.
The last few posts have been all about books, so I figured I would just toss out a bit of an update.
We Have Curbs
The road project is almost done! We have curbs! We should have a street soon and hopefully sidewalks and the rest of my driveway, too! This headache cannot be over fast enough!
I’m on the Google!
A good friend of mine is getting ready for a trip to Italy. He’s been learning a bit of Italian in preparation for the trip. Because he is my friend, and as weird as I am, he decided to Google whether or not the School House Rock songs from the 70’s were available in Italian! When he did his search … who popped up??
THIS is why we are friends (among other things)!
In over 5 years, I’ve never noticed!
Andrew will be two in less than a week, so Sam and I took the kids to get pictures. We also did some family photos.
In the 5 years we have been married, and all of the pictures we have had taken, we’ve never printed them out to hang them. Sure, we have some that we had done on the wall, but there are so many that need to be hung.
Sam told me how she wanted to redo a wall in the living room and we began to go through photos to see which ones we wanted to hang up. As we talked, she said we should probably patch the wall and maybe repaint. The following conversation took place:
Me: You know what we should do?
Sam: What?
Me: When we paint, we should make one wall a different color.
Sam stared at me like I was growing a third eyeball.
Me: What?
Sam points to the wall next to me and says, “THAT wall IS a different color!”
I turned and looked. I swear, it did not look different! The way the light hits it, I never noticed the two being different.
Me: No it’s not!
Sam: YES, it is!
So I get up and walk over to the corner where the two walls meet …
Me: Well, how about that!? It really is a different color!
Sam just stared at me in disbelief.
Yes, we have lived together for 6 years. I never noticed!
Wish Me Luck
I should know tomorrow what the results of all that ADHD testing shows. I’m hoping for some answers!
They are the sunshine of my life
I love the fall whether, even if it does feel more like summer. I just love spending time outside with the kids!
I have just finished this wonderful book and there are many words I could use to describe it: warm, funny, sad, thought provoking, emotional, happy, and … magical. This was such an easy read and such a great story. It is a fictional story, but I found myself wanting to meet the characters in real life.
This was a book that was a suggestion on Goodreads. I don’t recall if one of my friends had read it or not, but I was intrigued by the story. It was one that I had my local library order for me. When the email arrived saying the book was on hold, I had totally forgotten about it. Once I started it, I couldn’t put it down. I finished it within 48 hours.
I was unfamiliar with the author, Joe Siple. According to the publisher (Black Rose Writing) “Joe Siple is the USA Today bestselling author of The Five Wishes of Mr. Murray McBride, winner of The National Indie Excellence Award, The PenCraft Award, and named 2018 Book of the Year by the Maxy Awards. The story topped Amazon bestseller lists in the US, Canada, and Australia.”
Here is the Goodreads synopsis:
With all his family and friends gone, one-hundred-year-old Murray McBride is looking for a reason to live. He finds it in Jason Cashman, a ten-year-old boy with a terminal heart defect and a list of five things he wants to do before he dies.
Those wishes aren’t easy ones.
He wants to kiss a girl.
He wants to hit a home run in a major league baseball stadium.
He wants to be a superhero.
He wants to find a boyfriend for his mom.
He wants to perform real magic.
Together, they race against the limited time each has left, ticking off wishes one by one. Along the way, Murray remembers what it’s like to be young, and Jason fights for the opportunity to grow old. But when tragedy strikes, their worlds are turned upside-down, and an unexpected gift is the only thing that can make Jason’s final wish come true.
To a degree, the story reminded me a bit of the Pixar movie Up! Both focus on the relationship between an old man and young boy. That relationship starts a bit rocky, but grows into something very special. Let me be clear, though, they are two very different stories. It will warm your heart and maybe even make you shed a tear. Please be sure to let me know if you read it. I would love your thoughts.
I found out from the publisher that there is a sequel. It has a bit of a similar plot line and I may have to add it to my list of books to read. It is called The Final Wish of Mr. Murray McBride.
Recently, I was made aware of the NetGalley site (www.netgalley.com), where I could actually read books that had yet to be published. I created an account and began searching for a book to read. It didn’t take long to come across The Blues Brothers by Daniel de Visé. I requested to read it and was granted the opportunity.
I have been a fan of The Blues Brothers since it hit theaters. In my opinion, it remains one of the best movies of the 1980’s. I was aware that the characters were created on Saturday Night Live and that was all I really knew about how the film came to be. Looking back now, I guess I just assumed that it was something that Lorne Michaels gave his blessing to like Wayne’s World or the Coneheads movies. That wasn’t necessarily the case. As a matter of fact, it was quite a fight just to get the characters on the air!
As I dove into this book, I learned the backstories of John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd. It was interesting to walk along side them on the road as they rose to fame. I also loved reading about the other now famous names that they worked with prior to coming together at SNL, how they landed their gigs at 30 Rock, and the idea that eventually became The Blues Brothers.
The book does a fine job of also giving readers a look at the personal lives of Belushi and Aykroyd. It was hard to read about the struggles that Belushi had with drugs. I was unaware of the steps that he had taken to try to break free from them. Sadly, we all know that he eventually succumbed to them.
Making a movie is certainly not an easy thing. Throughout this book, you will learn how an idea led to a huge script that had to be cut down, how the amazing musicians were put together, and how many of the great R&B singers came to be a part of the film.
Blues Brothers fans will love this because of the familiar stories and the ones they haven’t heard. There is a good mixture of both. There were plenty of stories in the book that will make me watch particular scenes in the film a bit more closely because of things it revealed.
I truly enjoyed the book and will be rushing out to get a hard copy of it when it is available March 19, 2024. You can preorder it on Amazon now if you wish.
I want to thank NetGalley for allowing me the opportunity to read this before it was published. I look forward to my next read!
This is a book that I have seen come up more than once as a recommendation for me. I have seen many friends post about it, and I was on the fence about reading it. Then, my son’s speech therapist came over and said that it was a good read with a powerful ending. I decided to take a chance on it.
While I thought the ending was as powerful as the speech therapist did, I found it to be more of a book for female readers. I even told my wife that it reminded me of an episode of Desperate Housewives.
Here is the synopsis from Amazon:
“Expertly, subtly and powerfully rendered….[The Whispers] delivers a sucker-punch ending you’ll have to read twice to believe.”—The New York Times Book Review
“[An] electrifying…razor-sharp page-turner.” —Carley Fortune, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Every Summer After
Featured in summer reading recommendations by Good Morning America, TIME, ELLE, The Washington Post & more
On Harlow Street, the well-to-do neighborhood couples and their children gather for a catered barbecue as the summer winds down; drinks continue late into the night.
Everything is fabulous until the picture-perfect hostess explodes in fury because her son disobeys her. Everyone at the party hears her exquisite veneer crack—loud and clear. Before long, that same young boy falls from his bedside window in the middle of the night. And then, his mother can only sit by her son’s hospital bed, where she refuses to speak to anyone, and his life hangs in the balance.
What happens next, over the course of a tense three days, as each of these women grapple with what led to that terrible night?
Exploring envy, women’s friendships, desire, and the intuitions that we silence, The Whispers is a chilling novel that marks Audrain as a major women’s fiction talent.
The Goodreads Synopsis gives you a bit more…
From the author of THE PUSH, a pageturner about four suburban families whose lives are changed when the unthinkable happens–and what is lost when good people make unconscionable choices
The Loverlys sit by the hospital bed of their young son who is in a coma after falling from his bedroom window in the middle of the night; his mother, Whitney, will not speak to anyone. Back home, their friends and neighbors are left in shock, each confronting their own role in the events that led up to what happened that terrible night: the warm, altruistic Parks who are the Loverlys’ best friends; the young, ambitious Goldsmiths who are struggling to start a family of their own; and the quiet, elderly Portuguese couple who care for their adult son with a developmental disability, and who pass the long days on the front porch, watching their neighbors go about their busy lives.
The story spins out over the course of one week, in the alternating voices of the women in each family as they are forced to face the secrets within the walls of their own homes, and the uncomfortable truths that connect them all to one another. Set against the heartwrenching drama of what will happen to Xavier, who hangs between death and life, or a life changed forever, THE WHISPERS is a novel about what happens when we put our needs ahead of our children’s. Exploring the quiet sacrifices of motherhood, the intuitions that we silence, the complexities of our closest friendships, and the danger of envy, this is a novel about the reverberations of life’s most difficult decisions.
The story bounces between the four women and their families. At times I had to remind myself who was married to who (just like Desperate Housewives)! There were characters in this book that I just hated because of their actions (just like Desperate Housewives). At the same time, there were plenty of times that I just needed to know what happened next or why a character did something.
As I said, the ending was worth waiting for and everything the various reviews stated. Yet, while the main storyline is wrapped up, I found myself wondering about many of the sub-plots. What happened to that couple? How does that neighbor’s storyline tie up? I don’t know, maybe it is a good thing that I wanted more.
I admit that this book isn’t for everyone, and that is why I didn’t title this a “Book Recommendation.” However, I post this because I know of a few followers who might enjoy a nice book filled with drama and a good ending.
You may remember that we recently bought some new appliances at our house. When they were delivered, the guys who brought them cut the boxes up to get the appliances out. They also took the remnants of those boxes when they left.
For one brief moment, as our fridge was being delivered, I remembered my dad taking the box and cutting a hole in it for a door. He cut out a window and my brother and I had our own box fort. This memory came and went as they cut up the box.
My wife ordered a few things from Sam’s Club this week and they sent the items in a decent sized box. It did not take the kids long to “get in the boat” and take it for a ride …
Then they hid in their club house …
…which is where they played for quite some time!
Who needs toys when you have a huge box and a fantastic imagination?!
The fun lasted for a few hours … until Andrew found out that the box did not make a good trampoline.
I have posted this quote before, but it fits today (and hopefully will help). My grandfather once told me, “Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere!” Despite the truth of that, I find my mind all over the place.
As you are aware, my youngest son recently had a second surgery for his laryngomalacia. He had a follow up visit with the ENT last week and the swelling was still there. The doc said that it should have been gone by now. They did a scope in the office and found that aside of the swelling, everything looked good.
The ENT then sent off a note to the pediatric sleep neurologist saying that he didn’t feel that Andrew’s apnea was something with his throat. He told her that he thought it might be something neurological. She thought that might be the case, too. Andrew actually had a visit with the pediatric neurologist this week. We walked away from that visit with more questions and some concerning possibilities.
He is already in speech because of the original delay. Now, he is dropping syllables in words, or changing them to a different letter. “Mommy” is now “monny.” “Daddy” is now “dah-eee.” The speech therapist had noticed that it seemed as though he was losing muscle tone in his face. The neurologist feels the same way.
It was a very long appointment. At one point, after reviewing the symptoms and giving him an exam, she said, “What am I missing?” She thought a bit more and presented the plan. We are at the point where we need to start ruling stuff out. There were many procedures ordered and we are going to be very busy.
He will have a 24 hour EEG, a brain MRI, generic blood workup, and yet another sleep study. The EEG will help rule out seizures. The brain MRI will help to rule out cerebral palsy. The sleep study will evaluate where his apnea is at and the possibility of another CPAP machine. The generic blood work is to rule out things like Fragile X syndrome and other possible genetic disorders. He will also see a specialist to rule out things like Muscular Dystrophy.
As a father, these things brought my stress levels sky high. Andrew has already been through so much. I don’t want to have to put him through any more, but we need to know what’s going on. Our neurologist applauded Sam and I for being proactive. Our medical backgrounds really made us question a lot, and she said that we are ahead of the game.
Sam keeps me balanced. I expressed my worries to her and she told me that we can’t worry about what we don’t know yet. There are a lot of possibilities, but until we have something to worry about, Sam and I will pray that all will be ok.
It helps me to write this down for a couple reasons. First, seeing it in front of me “gets it out.” Next, it allows me to fill folks in who are asking about what is going on. Finally, it allows me to expand the prayer chain. If you pray, can I ask that you keep this fine young man in yours?
This weekend was just wonderful! My Goddaughter and her fiancé got married on Saturday. I was honored to be able to DJ the wedding for them.
Before I tell you more, I want to give a little backstory. Just after we rang in the year 2020, and before Covid closed everything, I blogged about my Goddaughter and her mom. I think in order to fully understand what I was feeling this weekend, it is worth revisiting:
January 1, 2020
Today, we met one of my oldest and dearest friends for lunch. Margaret and I have been friends since junior high. We are both Italian. My folks loved her, and her folks loved me. I think they probably both thought that we would date or something, but that never happened. We both went to a few dances together, but that was about as close to “dating” as it got. We were just really good friends and that made us both happy. We were officers in band together, we dressed up as twins for Twin Day, she and I both took a senior picture together, and spent many hours on the phone. She was/is one of my best friends!
When her daughter, Marissa, was born she asked me to be her Godfather. I was honored to do it. A Godfather is a very important role for an Italian. When I got married the first time, sadly, I saw less and less of Margaret and my Goddaughter. Whenever I was supposed to get together with them, I was always informed that we couldn’t go or we had something to do with my ex’s family. (If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you are well aware of the narcissism that I dealt with and how miserable my life had become.)
After the divorce, Margaret was one of the first to reach out to me. She completely understood what was going on. Her forgiveness meant everything to me. I hurt her. I was hurt, too. I lost many years of our friendship, and I lost so many moments with my Goddaughter. After all of that, Margaret (and many other friends) had every right to just stop talking to me, but our friendship meant so much, that we have picked up where we left off.
When I attended my Goddaughter’s 21st birthday party, I pulled her aside and apologized for missing so many important things in her life. How do you explain that to someone? As I looked back on the past, my stomach was in knots. I was sickened to think of how I must have made so many people feel. She didn’t bat an eye, however, and told me she loved me and we all enjoyed a great evening! I remember driving home from her party crying my eyes out. It wasn’t fair to her that I missed so many things. It makes me angry to know that I missed so much, but I am also happy that I can try to make up for lost time with her!
Sam and I were going to see what Margaret and her husband, Walt, were doing on New Year’s Eve and found out she was working that night. So they met us at one of the nearby bars for lunch on New Year’s Day. We enjoyed some amazing burgers, and enjoyed good conversation. There is always a lot of laughter when we get together, story telling with wild hand gestures (it is the Italian in us!) and usually some profanity! It was truly a wonderful afternoon. We hope to be able to do it more often!
During lunch, Margaret said something that struck a chord. It was something that made me sad, and happy at the same time. She said, “I have seen you more and talked to you more in the past two years, that the entire time you were married.” This made me sad, because of what I touched on early – a great friendship almost destroyed as well as the relationship between my Goddaughter and me, all because of the stupidity of someone else. It made me happy to know that our friendship remains and will grow even stronger in the years ahead.
Shortly After That
My daughter Ella was born just over a month later. Margaret and Walt made the drive up to the hospital that night with Olive Garden dinners for Sam and me, and also a ton of soup and breadsticks for the hospital staff on our floor!
Ella loves her Aunt Margaret. Margaret has shown so much love to her and Andrew. Ella thanks God for her every night when she prays. Margaret refers to them as “my babies!” Thanks to technology, they love being able to video chat with her anytime!
Last week, Margaret and I got into one of those deep conversations. The years I missed came up. The deep regret that I hate thinking about . The “What Ifs” and such. We had been talking about my kids. She told me that she had always wanted to do that for my older boys, too! Thanks to my ex, that was never to be. All the hurt I felt about missing time with Marissa and I never really realized just how much hurt Margaret felt about missing time with my boys.
Sigh. On to happier stuff….
September 23, 2023
Saturday, I arrived at the breathtaking tree farm where the wedding was to be held. The first person I saw was the groom to be, Connor. He’s a great guy and I know that he is going to be a great husband. I asked him if he was nervous, and he said he was. Marissa and Connor have been together for 7 years. They are perfect together. I don’t remember what I told him, but I assured him all would go well.
When Marissa arrived, they shuffled Connor into the lodge area so he couldn’t see her. She came over and embraced me for a hug. She didn’t even have her dress on yet, and she was just stunning. We talked a briefly and then she was off to get ready.
I saw Margaret out in front of the lodge as I parked my father-in-law’s truck (which he let me borrow so I could fit everything in it!). She was busy putting out fires on the cell phone and with people at the venue.
It didn’t take me too long to get set up. It was hot, so I was glad I hadn’t arrived in my suit. I went to change and by then, we were about an hour and a half away from the ceremony. The families all came out and the photographers got pictures done before the ceremony, which you don’t see too often. But I get it, the sun was perfect and I know that they got some amazing pictures. I, however, only got two. One of Margaret and me, and the other with Marissa.
The ceremony was just wonderful. I was sitting next to Chris, a mutual friend of Margaret and me. She asked if I was going to need a tissue. I told her probably, but I passed her back the tissue pack. Once Marissa and her dad began walking down the aisle, I could feel those tears well up.
Their officiant knew both of them very well and shared some very funny stories. At the same time, he was very professional. Marissa and Connor each wrote their own vows. They read like a love story. Wow, the looks that they gave each other throughout the ceremony and the sharing of their vows….. It was a powerful example of true love. Again, I held back tears.
I’ve DJ’s many weddings, but this was the first where a grand entrance was timed down to the second! They entered to Natalie Cole’s This Will Be (An Everlasting Love). I had a cue sheet with the time and the lyrics along with the couples that were entering at that time. They had it timed perfectly.
After the grand entrance, Marissa and Connor had put together a dance for their first song. It was such a joy to watch these two execute their moves to perfection. I was glad that a little hiccup that could have meant me not having their song was an easy fix. In all my years doing weddings, this was only the third time the bride and groom had choreographed their first dance. It was beautiful.
It was after this that I saw Margaret become “that Italian mom.” Let me explain. No one had filled the glasses of the head table and when we went to do toasts, there was nothing to toast! They decided to let people eat and they would toast during dinner while someone filled glasses. That someone – was Margaret. She came busting out of the lodge with bottle of wine in each hand. She walked to every person with an empty glass and asked, “White or red?”
She was the first table called to eat after the head table. Yet, she was like the last in line to eat! I had to tell her to get a plate. She naturally swore at me and moved through the buffet line.
Toasts from the Best Man, Maid of Honor, and the fathers of both the Bride and Groom followed. The Best Man impressed me with a perfect line. He stated that he and Connor had been best friends forever. He stated that he was happy to give up that title, because Marissa would now forever be his best friend. Good stuff!
After dinner, Marissa danced with her dad and Connor danced with his mom. Then the dance floor opened for the night. Music was not an issue, as they had given me plenty of songs to choose from. There is never enough time to get through the entire list. There were plenty of requests and the crowd seemed to be having a good time.
I naturally brought out the groom and the groomsmen, who had no idea why I called them out to the floor. I passed out a cowboy hat, and Indian head dress, a policeman’s hat, a sailor hat, and a biker hat. I led them through some silly moves and we did the YMCA together. This is always silly and they guys had fun. I even got to embarrass myself as I walked through the crown lip synching “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis with my terrible Elvis wig.
There were so many things from the evening that I will remember, but the one thing that will stick with me forever is just how beautiful Marissa looked.
I am so happy for her. I am excited to hear about all the things that are ahead for her and Connor. Random thought: Is he now my Godson-in-law? I’d be ok with that.
On my hour drive home, there was a lot of time to think about the day. I smiled again as I recalled the vows, the first dance, the last dance, and more. I had to pull over when the sadness crept in with the memory of the lost time with her. I had to remind myself that that is all in the past, and there will be more happy days ahead. Plenty of happy days, I am sure of it!
Congratulations to Marissa and Connor. Your love for each other will carry you through the tough storms … and God will get you through the rest!
I admit to being someone who has used that phrase before. When I am asked why I like a particular song or singer, many times it is because of their amazing vocals. A couple years ago, I did a feature called “Tune Tuesday,” where I would feature a song I liked. I’m not sure why I stopped doing it. Maybe it needs to be brought back.
Anyway, this blog rerun is an old Tune Tuesday piece I wrote about a singer who celebrates a birthday today. Andrea Bocelli turns 65 years old today. He is proof that a beautiful melody and a beautiful voice are all you need sometimes. Why do I say that? Read on.
For that particular Tune Tuesday, I picked a song that Bocelli sings that I have NO IDEA what he is saying! That’s where looking up the lyrics helped. Join me and give Vieni Sul Mar a listen again in celebration of his birthday …
Various Ramblings of a Nostalgic Italian 