Today I want to wish my oldest son, Dante’, a Happy 23rd Birthday! It is truly hard to believe he is that old. It seems like yesterday that he was born. What an amazing day that was!
This picture is one of my favorites of him. The way his eyes are looking off to the side reminds me of a mob boss. I can see that face sitting at a meeting of the Five Families and he’s takinig it all in. LOL.
This was in his bassinet, which had a Noah’s Ark theme. His whole room was done up in Noah’s Ark. There was a border on the wall, the crib sheets, the mobile, a lamp, and so many other things. I had no idea that they could make so many things for a theme. It was crazy.
Many know that he was diagnosed with Autism early on in his life. Thanks to early intervention and therapies, he is high functioning. He has Asperger’s Syndrome. He never let that define him. He was in the mainstream classes in school. He graduated and found work. He manages his money well and recently moved in to his own apartment.
I am so proud of all that he has accomplished in his life. I know he will continue to to grow and mature in the years ahead. He’s one amazing kid, well, a man now.
People say we look and act alike and I take that as a huge compliment. He is my Mini-Me and I love him very much. Happy Birthday, son. May your day be filled with love and happiness.
Welcome back to The Music of My Life, where I feature ten songs from each year of my life. In most cases, the ten songs I choose will be ones I like personally (unless I explain otherwise). The songs will be selected from Billboard’s Year-end Hot 100 Chart, Acclaimed Music, and will all be released in the featured year.
I turned 34 in 2004. By then, we had figured out that there was something not right with my son’s development. We went through a ton of testing with him. Blood work ruled out a lot. We began intensive therapies. They helped. As time progressed we moved from “developmentally delayed” to “autism” and finally to “Asperger’s.” He overcame so many obstacles and today has a job and is ready to move out on his own.
When you deal with something like this, it is difficult to remember all that was going on at the time. You are consumed with all the various therapies and appointments. As I tried to look back on 2004, I felt a disconnect to much of it. There were things I remembered, but most of the year was a blur.
How about we dig into the tunes?
I was on the phone one day catching up with my old country Program Director Brian. They had let him go and it didn’t take him long to land another job. It was at an Adult Contemporary station. He joked around about trying not to laugh whenever he had to say “Hoobastank.” This phone call would be recalled by me years later. I was working part time at an AC station and had to talk into or out of The Reason.
It was the first time I had really heard the song. I related to it so much now. Here is a guy who admits to his lover that he isn’t perfect. He is going to disappoint and hurt them, but he wants to change. The reason for it – is his lover.
“I’ve found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new And the reason is you”
It is often a struggle to deal with our personal issues. Those things that you’ve carried around all your life. Things that are almost habitual. For the right person, you want to do whatever you can to move past those things and be a better person. I try this daily – and don’t always get it right.
The Reason
The next song is one that I wrote about for a round of Turntable Talk. In 2004, one of the hottest country songs introduced us to Gretchen Wilson. Her debut was like an M80 exploding. It was huge.
Rather than writing it all again here, you can click below to read the original blog.
My son loved Shrek. So naturally, he loved Shrek 2. The next song was written especially for the movie. It wasn’t an easy song to write.
Counting Crows lead singer, Adam Duritz, told the story of Accidentally in Love to Billboard magazine:
“I was really struggling with it. I generally don’t write songs on demand, and I almost got to the point where I thought I wasn’t going to do it. They just told me that the song had to be uplifting. They actually said, ‘Don’t write a song about Shrek. Write a song that’s about you.’ The funny thing is, the song ended up reflecting a lot of what was going on in my life at the time: falling in love with someone you’re not supposed to fall in love with because it’s inconvenient. My songs for Counting Crows are mature and generally don’t get a chance to reach kids. To be part of something like that is pretty cool.”
The song appears toward the beginning of the movie and barely broke the Top 40 (#39). It is an uplifting song that is fun to sing along with. It baffles me that it didn’t do better on the charts.
Accidentally in Love
The next song is one that not many have heard. It only went to #40 on the country chart, but it really connected with me. I have been accused of being a hoarder. I tend to save a lot of things that are special to me. Some of those things caused riff between my wife at the time and me.
I had old prom pictures, ticket stubs and mementos from past girlfriends. I had cards from my grandparents and many other things that really held a special meaning to me. I was told that those things meant more than she did and stuff like that. That wasn’t true, but I can see how it might be taken that way.
Chely Wright wrote the song with then-unknown songwriter named Liz Rose. (Liz would go on to co-write a lot of early stuff with Taylor Swift.) The lyrics of the song were written from Wright’s own experiences of saving mementos in small spaces. “I’m 33 years old, I’ve got a couple of champagne corks, and those are my stories, and I don’t have to tell about it.”
Again, it was a song I could totally relate to.
I don’t keep these things ’cause I’m longing to go back I keep them because I want to stay right where I’m at I’m reminded of my rights and wrongs I don’t want to mess this up But I wouldn’t know where I belong Without this box of stuff
I am who I am today because of my past. You cannot delete your past. The things from it helped to shape you. They helped you to grow. They helped you to think a bit more before you acted. It really is amazing how something like a ticket stub can bring change in your behavior based on what happened when you used it.
Back of the Bottom Drawer
The next song is here only because I played it at almost every party, dance, or wedding I DJ’d. Sometimes a line dance will come and go, but this one is still being played at events. What is funny to me is the story behind it.
When you do the Cha Cha Slide, does it count as a workout? Apparently it does. DJ Casper created this song for the American health club chain Bally’s Fitness, who developed a workout routine around it. The song caught on with gym members, which led to its release as a single. In 2001, the song gained traction in America at dance clubs, weddings and other celebrations.
It had been around a few years prior. According to DJ Casper: “I wrote Cha Cha Slide in 1996 as an aerobics workout program for a gym trainer friend of mine, David Wilson, and I recorded and released my own version in 1998.”
In 2003 the song resurfaced in clubs across Europe and All Around The World Records picked it up for a UK release. On March 20th 2004 this rose from #2 to #1 on the UK singles chart.
Cha Cha Slide
I laughed when I first heard the name Bowling For Soup. I had forgotten about them after this song. Then I realized that they were the band singing the theme song to the cartoon Phineas and Ferb.
1985 wasn’t a big hit, but I remembered hearing it on the radio. It only went to #23 on the charts. I liked it because of the nostalgia factor. This song is about a woman who is still living in the past. She is reliving her glory years when she was a teenager in 1985. She had big dreams, but now spends her time immersing herself in ’80s pop culture.
Jaret Reddick, the lead singer for Bowling For Soup told Songfacts:
“‘1985’ was interesting because we were coming off our biggest record, which was Drunk Enough To Dance. And we went in thinking that we had a complete album, and we recorded a complete album. We did Hangover You Don’t Deserve, and it was pretty much done. Butch Walker produced three songs on that album, and we recorded the whole record at his place. And his manager called and said, ‘Hey, a song came across my desk. You know Mitch Allan, right?’ I’m like, ‘Yeah.’ ‘Well, he wants you to call him.’ So I call Mitch Allan from SR-71, he’s like, ‘Dude, I’ve got this song. It’s a freakin’ hit for you guys. It sounds like you.’ And evidently that whole conversation happened because Mitch was pitching his band to Jonathan Daniel, who is Butch’s manager, trying to get this record that they had put out in Japan released here in the United States. And JD said, ‘Dude, that sounds like a Bowling for Soup song.’ And Mitch said, ‘You know what? You’re right.’
So anyway, he sends me the song. And I’m actually like, ‘Man, we’re done. We’re literally leaving tomorrow. This album is complete.’ We had a little studio apartment that we were staying in and I listened to the song a few times, and I’m like, ‘Yeah, it’s good.’ And the night goes on, had a few more beers, me and Gary (Wiseman – BFS drummer) sat in our kitchen and listened to it twice. And we’re just like, This is a great song. We don’t really know that it’s going to be a single, but it is great. We might as well just do it. So we went back in the next day and we cut it.
1985
I DJ’d a lot of Daddy/Daughter dances before having my daughter. I remember watching dads dancing with their little girls and tearing up. It made me understand why so many father’s cry when the dance with their daughter on her wedding day.
John Mayer’s Daughters was a song that was always requested at Daddy/Daughter dances. Sometimes, more than once. It took on a whole new meaning to me when I danced with Ella to it. The bond is a special one.
The song won Mayer Grammy Awards for Song Of The Year and Best Male Pop Vocal Performance.
I wonder if people know his inspiration for the song. According to Songfacts:
Part of the inspiration for this song was a Chris Rock comedy bit. In the bit, he talks about how a father’s main responsibility is to keep his daughter “off the pole.” In other words, to make sure she doesn’t become a stripper.
Daughters
The next song was originally done by the group Supertramp in 1977. It was written by singer/guitarist Roger Hodgson. He told Songfacts in 2012:
“That song has really taken on a life of its own, and I think it’s even more relevant today than when I wrote it. Because we really are needing to value love in a much deeper way, and also we’re needing to care. The song is basically saying: just show you care. You know, reach out and show you care. So in concert it’s the perfect show closer, because what I try to do in my show over two hours is unify the audience and unify all of us. So that at the end, when everyone stands up for ‘Give A Little Bit,’ they’re open and ready to open their hearts and sing at the top of their lungs and go away with a smile on their face. And that song really does, it has a very pure energy. The moment I start, people just start smiling. It’s amazing.”
The Goo Goo Dolls released it on their 2004 album Live From Buffalo. Their version had a lot of success on Top 40 and light rock stations. It made #37 on the Hot 100. It is on my list because I love the song and I think this is a great cover!
Give a Little Bit
One of my favorite country bands was Montgomery Gentry. I’ve had the pleasure of hanging out with them when they were touring. They were so good! The next song is probably my favorite track from them.
Eddie Montgomery and the late Troy Gentry often swapped singing lead on their songs. Troy is doing the singing on Gone. It is a classic “break up” song.
Songfacts says:
Bob DiPiero and Jeffrey Steele wrote the song. DiPiero explained to the Tennessean that he and Steele had arranged a writing session at his place on the Florida Gulf Coast. After a fruitless morning, DiPiero wanted to come up with something simple and quick so they could go to lunch. He suggested they write a song with a one-word title and two chords that tip a hat to old time country tunes. They came up with “Gone.”
The song starts off by explaining his lover has walked out on him and isdefinitely not coming back.
This ain’t no temporary, typical, tearful goodbye his ain’t no breakin’ up, then wakin’ up and makin’ up one more time This is gone (gone), gone (gone), gone (gone), gone
For the rest of the song, a series of similes is used to illustrate how his baby has certainly departed forever.
She’s gone like a:
Freight train Yesterday A soldier in the Civil War A ’59 Cadillac And like all the good things, that ain’t never comin’ back
The writing on this one is just SO good.
Gone
My last pick is one that has brought me to tears on many occasions. It is a song that makes me think of my mom and those who have passed away. Homesick by MercyMe.
The song is an expression of grief and longing. It was written after the band experienced the deaths of nine people they were connected to in a short period of time.
Wikipedia states:
Lead singer Bart Millard initially wrote the chorus to “Homesick” following a funeral service for two infants that died in utero. He did not finish the song, as didn’t want to fake his way through writing the song. However, following the death of Millard’s brother-in-law, Chris, in a car accident, Millard finished the song so as to play it at Chris’s funeral. Millard and the rest of MercyMe intended the song only to be played once—at Chris’s funeral—but Millard’s mother-in-law encouraged them to record it.
It was a top 5 song on the Christian charts and a top 10 song on the Adult Contemporary charts.
When I hear this song, I remember that there is a reunion with my mom and others who have passed on. I cannot wait for that day.
Homesick
So there are my ten picks from 2004. I’m sure that I left a few of your favorites out. Let me know which ones you loved from 2004 in the comments.
Next week, we will head to 2005. My list includes an amazing duet, a band people love to hate, a song that is the subject of October first jokes, a song that mentions ME, and the song my mom used as her ringtone the last year of her life.
Thanks for reading and listening! See you next week.
Yesterday, I blogged about my daughter’s first day of Preschool. She is having so much fun there. She is making friends and sharing stories about her day, which has been awesome to listen to.
One thing I didn’t do was get a picture of her and I together. She was probably “pictured out” by the time we got there. We got a lot before we left the house, including the traditional “holding the first day of school” sign. Little brother, Andrew, had to have his own sign too.
I held it together pretty well when we dropped her off yesterday, however, that wasn’t always the case. My oldest boy was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder when we was very young. with therapy and lots of work, he started to come out of his shell and was then diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. At one point we didn’t think he’d be able to talk. So when he was finally at the age to enter Kindergarten, he went to a regular education class with an IEP.
I cried like a baby when I dropped him off at school that day. He had always been fascinated with trains, so I had to smile when I found his first day of school picture.
I am sure that he did some preschool, but I’m not sure I ever thought to take a picture. Wow, to look back to this day and know all that he has accomplished since then, is overwhelming. What a journey!
My second son went to preschool. I got a little emotional when he walked in that day, too. He didn’t have the same issues as my older son, so he really looked forward to school.
What I remember about this picture is that his backpack was a monkey. He loved that thing! This year, he is a senior and is on his way to graduation!
I also remember being that skinny! Sigh. I need to get back down to that weight.
It took me a while to find the photos of my sons. After the divorce, my ex kept almost everything. I have some photos, but not many. I’m glad that I did have these on a flash drive.
I have an account on Goodreads. If you are looking for a book, they have many lists that you can browse. “Best books of the 20th Century,” “Best Thrillers of the Past Year,” “Books You Should Read at Least Once in Your Life,” Etc…
Every year they have a “Best of” list for the various genres and The Maid by Nita Prose was the winner for Best Mystery. I kept seeing it come up in my friend’s books as well, so I decided to have the library get me a copy.
I read this book in about 2 days. It was one that I enjoyed, but not everyone felt the way I did based on some of the reviews on Goodreads. Let me give you the synopsis and then I will explain.
From Goodreads:
Molly Gray is not like everyone else. She struggles with social skills and misreads the intentions of others. Her gran used to interpret the world for her, codifying it into simple rules that Molly could live by.
Since Gran died a few months ago, twenty-five-year-old Molly has been navigating life’s complexities all by herself. No matter—she throws herself with gusto into her work as a hotel maid. Her unique character, along with her obsessive love of cleaning and proper etiquette, make her an ideal fit for the job. She delights in donning her crisp uniform each morning, stocking her cart with miniature soaps and bottles, and returning guest rooms at the Regency Grand Hotel to a state of perfection.
But Molly’s orderly life is upended the day she enters the suite of the infamous and wealthy Charles Black, only to find it in a state of disarray and Mr. Black himself dead in his bed. Before she knows what’s happening, Molly’s unusual demeanor has the police targeting her as their lead suspect. She quickly finds herself caught in a web of deception, one she has no idea how to untangle. Fortunately for Molly, friends she never knew she had unite with her in a search for clues to what really happened to Mr. Black—but will they be able to find the real killer before it’s too late?
A Clue-like, locked-room mystery and a heartwarming journey of the spirit, The Maid explores what it means to be the same as everyone else and yet entirely different—and reveals that all mysteries can be solved through connection to the human heart.
Notice the first sentence? “Molly is not like everyone else.” I could tell right from the get go that this character might have been autistic. Some reviewers called her “neurodivergent.” This term was new to me. It means “differing in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal (frequently used with reference to autism spectrum disorders); not neurotypical.”
The story is told from Molly’s perspective. The words “autistic” or “neurodivergent” are never mentioned. Molly is, well, Molly. She very well may be one of those things, but she never mentions it. The way she approaches the world, and her job is not in any way odd to her. To me, this is the biggest hang up that people had about the book. It didn’t bother me at all.
My oldest son is on the Autism Spectrum (Asperger’s). I know many people who are also on the spectrum. Because of the therapies and people I have come to know through Autism support groups and such, I found myself completely understanding how the character thought and how she reacted to situations. I didn’t find her odd in any way. As a matter of fact, her personality plays a key element to the story.
There were some surprises in the book and I found it to be a good read. It may not be for everyone, but I enjoyed it.
It is time for another edition of my Friday Photo Flashback. If you are a new reader to my blog, this feature started with a writing prompt that asked for you to find a picture that brought about memories or emotions and post the picture with comments about it.
Today, I am posting a picture that is over 20 years old. It is one that I haven’t seen in probably that long. I stumbled on a long forgotten folder on my hard drive which contained some scans from my dad. He had scanned this picture of my oldest son, Dante’. This came from a 1st birthday photo shoot.
I believe that we had these pictures taken at Walmart. Do they even do photos anymore? I don’t think so.
It is crazy to see him this little! I remember those deep brown eyes and him parting his hair like that. I remember how cute I thought it was that he was holding his arm like that for this picture. It is really hard to even begin to express the feelings I had when I saw this one again.
It was around this time that we noticed some developmental delays. We had him evaluated and got him into some therapy early, which really helped him as he grew up. I remember starting with a Developmental Delay diagnosis, then an Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis, finally an Asperger’s Syndrome diagnosis. Thanks to early intervention, and therapies, he is doing very well. Nothing can stop him! He has a good job, he has his own vehicle and he is going to college. I couldn’t be more proud of him.
It is pretty amazing to look at this one year old kid in the photo and know how far he has come and where he is at now. He looks way different now – glasses, beard, and I don’t think he bothers to part his hair! What a wonderful adventure it has been!
Various Ramblings of a Nostalgic Italian 