37 years ago this week I graduated from high school. I was such a band nerd in high school. Band was my life in high school. It was a place where you were accepted, you worked together, and core memories were made.
I remember my sophomore and junior years playing music before the commencement ceremony began. The entire band played together until a couple minutes before the senior class walked out and to their seats. The seniors from band would get up shortly before then and take their place in line. After one more song, the remaining lower classmen would play Pomp and Circumstance as the seniors walked in.
I have posted pictures on this blog before of me conducting the band at graduation. That is a memory that will not fade any time soon. It was such an amazing moment. After the number I conducted, another senior (our drum major) got his turn to conduct the band. I can’t recall the number we played before we had to leave the band and get in line, but I remember the sadness that overwhelmed me as our group of seniors got up.
Our band director, Tom Shaner, was such a mentor and friend to me. That remained the case long after high school. When he passed away, I wrote about him. You can read that here.
As we walked to join our class, my friend Joe (who is in at the right of the photo) and I took a detour and walked past Mr. Shaner. There was no way I was walking by without hugging him. I was so grateful that my parents caught this moment on camera. I’m not sure, but I was probably crying. LOL
One thing that I never really noticed in the picture is that my friend Mary (who went on to teach) is actually snapping a picture of the moment, too. Next to her is my friend Theresa whose left leg is in a pink cast. If memory serves me right, she had broke it just a couple weeks before dancing at our band banquet.
If I go back and compare this photo to the one of me conducting, I could probably tell you who is next to Theresa. I don’t recognize the legs or shoes in this picture. LOL
I cannot even believe that it has been 37 years. What I wouldn’t give to be able to experience sitting in band class again. What I wouldn’t give to have one more chat with Mr. Shaner.
I’m not sure kids today realize just how special those high school years are. Good high school experiences will stay with you for a lifetime. The bad experiences will too. I pray that kindness, encouragement, and friendships overcome bullying, hatred, and the cruelty that is found in so many schools today.
I’m glad that I can look back fondly at mostly good memories from high school.
The timing on this photo find is almost perfect. We’re less than two weeks away from Halloween and I stumbled on this photo of my folks.
This photo made me laugh out loud! My mom is wearing one of my dad’s old band outfits. They used to wear these blue tuxes when they played weddings as I recall. That is definitely one of his tux shirts, too. Those ruffles were something!! If I had to guess, that is an old hat from a New Year’s Eve party, but I can’t say for certain.
Next to mom is dad, ever the clown! I love this picture of them. My dad is never one to shy away from dressing in something silly. I have NO idea where that polka dot shirt came from! I cannot begin to imagine where anyone would wear it that was NOT a Halloween party! The make up he is wearing was probably the makeup that they used on my brother and I the year we went out as “vampires.” The buttons on the coat are my Three Stooges buttons. I had quite a few of them as a teen. Obviously, the perfect things for his ensemble.
What I don’t know is whether he wore this outfit first, or if I did. Our high school band had a Halloween party my sophomore year. That party would have taken place in October of 1985. I don’t recall much about it. I know it was in a barn or at a cider mill maybe. We had to pile onto a bus to get there. At any rate, I wore most of this same outfit!
If I had to guess, I wore it first. I am sure my dad didn’t wear the yellow pajama pants (more on why in a minute). There are also no buttons on the coat. I would think that if my dad wore the coat first, then I would have kept the buttons on it. Then there is the horn. Man, that horn was hilarious. It was your typical Harpo Marx horn that was loud and annoying. I can see why I made sure to bring it to the party. Missing from my dad’s take on the costume are the hat and giant scissors. Maybe I lost them at the party?
Back to the yellow pajama pants. There is another photo of me before the party. My mom, always happy to ham it up, had the perfect pose.
Look closely at the back of the left leg. I remember my dad grabbing a magic marker that night. He wrote “Band Reject” on there! This is totally my dad! Great stuff.
That Halloween costume may have been responsible for my three year reign as “Band Clown” in the mock elections! What an honor!
Back to the original photo for a minute as I wrap this up. It makes me smile. My mom looks young and healthy here. Nine or ten years later, she’d get the initial diagnosis of breast cancer. There would be a lot of changes from that point on. In this photo, though, she and my dad are happy and it reminds me of some great days.
While she has been mentioned before in a few blogs, I have one friend who has never had one completely devoted to her. Today, on her birthday, I want to rectify that.
As we get older, memories tend to fade. Details can get lost. We may remember things a bit differently than they actual happened. That’s one of the reasons I try to put things down here on my blog, to preserve those memories. Earlier this week, I focused on music from 1982, which is where we have to go for the beginning of my friendship with Margaret.
In our school district, there were like seven or eight elementary schools. So when we merged together in 7th grade, we met a whole lot of new people and made many new friends. I am sure that Margaret and I had more than just one class together in 7th grade, but I just don’t really remember anything but band class.
I can almost bet that I was the one who started talking to her. I remember thinking that she was pretty and so I bugged her a lot. I know that I drove her crazy. I was a pest. FYI – junior high Keith was a real dork. Yet, she was sweet and talked to me. Before the summer, we swapped phone numbers. I spent a lot of time on the phone talking to her in 7th and 8th grade. This was in the days before “call-waiting” and it drove my mom crazy that I tied up the phone. I’m sure her folks felt the same way.
I remember passing notes in the hallway in school. Recently she sent me a picture of one that I wrote her. It was folded and read “To: A sexy girl I just happened to see walking down the hall and is my bestest friend. From: Some Goon.” I laughed. It was totally something I would write. I’m sure there was little or no content in the letter, more than likely it read, “This class sucks. What are you doing later? Steve broke my trumpet today,” or something like that.
Our friendship grew throughout high school. We became very close. I think her folks, my folks, and certainly my grandparents wanted us to date, but we had a very special friendship and that was fine with us. We never dated, but went on dates, if that makes sense. We went to a few dances together in school (Homecoming, Snowball Dance). After one of those dances, I remember we were sitting in her driveway and ready to wrap up the evening. We had been talking and knowing that she was going to go in the house, we both sat there for a minute. I’m pretty sure I was the one who moved in for a kiss, and as we got close to each other, we both started laughing. We just knew that we’d never be more than friends.
We both had Ford Escorts our senior year of high school. She tried to teach me how to drive a stick shift in hers in the school parking lot. I just wasn’t getting it and most likely burned out her clutch. She got me back one day, though. I was in the band room early, as I always was. She came busting through the band room doors and said, “Where’s Keith!!??” I came out of the band library and she was crying saying, “I hit your car!” The parking lot was icy and she slid into the bumper of my car and caused it to dent in. It was really nothing and we both laugh about that to this day.
Margaret was always smarter than me. She was in the higher math and English classes. She was always getting her homework done (unlike me). She did like to cause trouble occasionally. I am sure that I blogged about this before, but Margaret, Ronnie and I all went out to TP our friend Steve’s house for his birthday. After the job, we stood on his front lawn and looked up at his bedroom window and sang “Happy Birthday.” As we turned to run away, the three of us were grabbed by a couple policemen who threw us in the back of their police cruiser. I think we all thought we were going to jail! Graduation wasn’t too far away and I remember freaking out! Steve’s mom smoothed it over for us and we were all let go – to clean up our mess.
After high school, she was off to college and would go on to become a nurse. She got married and had children before I did. At this point, let me quote from an earlier blog (1/1/2020):
When her daughter, Marissa, was born she asked me to be her Godfather. I was honored to do it. A Godfather is a very important role for an Italian. When I got married the first time, sadly, I saw less and less of Margaret and my Goddaughter. Whenever I was supposed to get together with them, I was always informed that we couldn’t go or we had something to do with my ex’s family. (If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you are well aware of the narcissism that I dealt with and how miserable my life had become.)
After the divorce, Margaret was one of the first to reach out to me. She completely understood what was going on. Her forgiveness meant everything to me. I hurt her. I was hurt, too. I lost many years of our friendship, and I lost so many moments with my Goddaughter. After all of that, Margaret (and many other friends) had every right to just stop talking to me, but our friendship meant so much, that we have picked up where we left off.
When I attended my Goddaughter’s 21st birthday party, I pulled her aside and apologized for missing so many important things in her life. How do you explain that to someone? As I looked back on the past, my stomach was in knots. I was sickened to think of how I must have made so many people feel. She didn’t bat an eye, however, and told me she loved me and we all enjoyed a great evening! I remember driving home from her party crying my eyes out. It wasn’t fair to her that I missed so many things. It makes me angry to know that I missed so much, but I am also happy that I can try to make up for lost time with her!
From that party – two of my favorite pictures:
Shortly before our daughter was born, Sam and I went to lunch/drinks with Margaret and her husband Walt. We really had a great time. We laughed a lot and shared some stories (like the ones above) that our spouses were hearing for the first time). Much like Sam, Margaret was also a very important part of my post-divorce life. Reconnecting with her was so special to me. Again, from that earlier blog:
During lunch, Margaret said something that struck a chord. It was something that made me sad, and happy at the same time. She said, “I have seen you more and talked to you more in the past two years, than the entire time you were married.” This made me sad, because of what I touched on early – a great friendship almost destroyed, as well as the relationship between my Goddaughter and me, all because of the stupidity of someone else. It made me happy to know that our friendship remains and will grow even stronger in the years ahead.
It has certainly done that! She and Walt brought us food at the hospital the night Ella was born. She has become the most amazing aunt to Ella and Andrew! She loves them so much and spoils them rotten. What a blessing she is to me and my family.
Margaret,
I can’t help but think back on the incredible and amazing journey of our friendship. I am reminded of the countless moments that have brought so much joy and meaning to my life. From the day we met, I knew there was something special about you, beside you being Italian! I am so grateful for your genuine kindness, your support and advice, and of course, your infectious laughter. Throughout it all, your constant support has been a source of comfort and inspiration for me.
On your birthday, I want to tell you how much you mean to me. For years, you have been a rock through thick and thin, always there to listen and offer non-biased advice and counsel. You’ve celebrated my successes as if they were your own and offered me an ear during my toughest times. Our friendship is a treasure that I cherish deeply.
I read something recently that I can easily apply to you and me: “Everyone has ‘a friend’ for each stage of life, but only lucky ones have that ‘same friend’ in all stages of life.” THANK YOU for being that ‘same friend” to me!
Today, I wish you happiness, love, and laughter. I thank you for all the wonderful memories of the past and look ahead to many more in the future. I love you, my friend.
This Sunday (6/9) will mark 36 years since I graduated from high school. Coincidentally, I graduated from college with my Associates Degree 25 years later (11 years ago). I mention this because there have been so many graduation posts on Facebook over the last week or two. Many of my friends have been celebrating the college and high school graduations of their sons, daughters and grandchildren and they pictures and messages have been wonderful to read.
For the Friday Photo Flashback today, I share two photos from my high school graduation day. The first is one with my dad and me.
I remember when we took this photo thinking it was corny, but looking back at it now, I am so glad we took it. I’m sure there were plenty of times that my folks wondered if I’d ever get grades good enough to graduate! I had so much trouble with Algebra and often did the bare minimum in some of the classes that I hated (like Family Life – URGH). Luckily, there were plenty of classes that I took that I did like.
This photo is taken in our driveway just before I left to go to commencement. I was in band and we played before the ceremony started, so I had to be there early. That is my Ford Escort that my grandmother bought me for graduation. I laugh because of the stuff painted on it and the cat that is suction cupped to the back window. The Oops at the left rear bumper is where my friend Margaret slid into my car one winter morning (that’s a story in itself).
I truly love this photo of my dad and me.
The second photo is from later that evening, but before the ceremony. Our ceremony was held outdoors in the football stadium. The stage was set up in the center of the field and parents and family were seated in the stands to watch. The band set up on the track in front of the field. The first few numbers were played with all the seniors in place. When it was close to the start of the ceremony, the seniors left and lined up to walk into the stadium.
I remember all of the little things that happened in the month or two before graduation where the reality of school ending would hit me. One of those things was when we went to band class and there were songs that were played without us senior players. We sat and listened and it was hard. I loved playing music so much, I hated the fact that it was all coming to and end for me.
One of my favorite memories of that night was getting to conduct the band. There were a couple of us who did that. I picked a song called Tin Pan Alley, which was a medley of songs like I’m Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover, Ain’t She Sweet, and Happy Days Are Here Again. It was a long song and I was surprised I was allowed to conduct that one.
I remember it was a tad breezy that night and at one point the conductor’s score flipped a few pages. Thank goodness I was familiar with the song and really didn’t need it. As I look at this photo I see many classmates that I am still in contact with. Our valedictorian, Debbie, who is playing trumpet in the white cap and gown played the trumpet solo that I had played when we did it in concert because I was conducting. Directly to the right of my left hand, you can see a leg in a pink cast. That’s Theresa, if memory serves me right, she fell and broke her ankle at the band banquet a few weeks prior to graduation.
What an amazing feeling to be in front of the band, and in control of the tempo and volume of a piece of music. We had a conducting class that year and many of us got to conduct warm up pieces before rehearsal began. I learned so much from this and I would love the opportunity to do that again.
You know what’s funny? After 36 years, I can remember exactly how that song goes. I remember all the transitions, the tempo changes, the drum and cymbal cues, and solos. I could probably sing it for you note for note.
Shortly after this, all of our band seniors got up, shook hands with Mr. Shaner (our director), and lined up with the rest of our class. For three years, we had been the ones playing Pomp and Circumstance on a loop as seniors walked down the aisles and to their seats. Now, it was our turn. What a surreal moment to be listening to it as we walked in and prepared to get our diplomas.
Time for another edition of the Friday Photo Flashback. Today, we go back to May of 1987 to the annual Band Banquet.
I stumbled on the above photo in a stack of pictures from my dad. I realize that the photo is a bit blurry, but if you look carefully, you will see that I have a conductor’s baton sticking in my shirt collar. This was just one of many things our band director, Tom Shaner, used to do.
If you are not familiar with the story, I blogged about it when Mr. Shaner passed away. Here is an excerpt from that blog:
My junior year of high school, the band officers were discussing the agenda for the annual Band Banquet. We needed one more speech, so I said I’d get up and do an imitation of Mr. Shaner. That night I was nervous. I got up and started my speech by saying “The longer you’re in band, the more Mr. Shaner starts to grow on you…” with that I ducked under the podium and threw on a bald cap. I then put a baton in the back of my shirt collar like he did. I “yelled” about how nobody practiced, talked about retiring and some of the other things he used to say. As the laughter died down, I realized I hadn’t written an “out”. I went on to thank Mr. Shaner for the many times he opened his office to listen to me talk about life, and issues I was dealing with. I don’t recall all I said, but I got pretty emotional and ended by telling him I loved him. He got up and we hugged. Somewhere I have a picture of that moment.
I actually found that photo, too!
Back to the first photo. We did our band banquets at this little VFW Hall every year. I remember the sound system being just awful. If you touched the microphone the wrong way, it became all static and no one could understand what you were saying. The set up for the banquet was pretty much the same every year. The officers all sat up front and each of us had a responsibility. Some gave out awards, others gave out letters, some introduced speakers, etc.
As I look at this photo, Joe is wearing sunglasses to my right. I can’t remember exactly why he was wearing them. He may have had his eyes dilated or something. To my left is our band president (who sadly just passed away unexpectedly) Ingrid. You really can’t see her, however, it looks like she is covering her face. I guess I’d like to think she’s covering her face saying to herself, “Oh my gosh, why did we let him talk!?” To her left is Ron, our second drum major. I love that he is cracking up in the picture. His laugh was so boisterous!
This is one of those times I wish I still had the video of this, or at least a panoramic picture of the officer’s table. There was a lot of laughter that year, and Mr. Shaner waited a full year to get me back. You can read about that and him here:
These two photos remind me of such a fun time. Those band banquets were such fun. After dinner and all of the awards and speeches, there was a live band that played music all night. There was plenty of dancing and many laughs. It was always a very special night for us.
A few years back, I wrote a blog about those terrible Halloween costumes we used to wear as kids. You know, the one with the plastic masks with the holes in them? The masks with that cheap rubber band that always broke? Remember those? Here is a link to that blog as a refresher for you:
There was a Trunk or Treat close to our house recently and I could see all the kids dressed up in their Halloween costumes. I tried to remember what I had dressed up as for Halloween as a kid and I really cannot remember. So I pulled out a hard drive which contains a bunch of photo scans from my dad. I figured if my folks had taken any pictures of us in costumes, they’d be on that drive.
What I found was that there were next to none on this drive. There were a couple, which I will share, but nothing from when we were really young. I guess my parents must have thought those costumes with the cheap masks and slits for eyes were not photo worthy. The only ones they took pictures of were when we did something out of the ordinary.
One year my brother and I wanted to be vampires or something. So my dad bought the make up and such and the result was … less than steller.
We don’t even have capes! I dunno, this get up stumps me. My dad tried to make me look like Sir Graves Ghastly, who was a local horror movie host on TV. I think that he did a good job, but without the rest of the vampire ensemble, people had to wonder who they heck we were!
Sir Graves Ghastly. We met him once at a mall appearance. He was very cool and everyone asked him to do his “laugh.”
Another year I went out as Oliver Hardy of Laurel and Hardy.
I’m sure this also made no sense to people answering the door because my brother dressed up as a woman. Perhaps Mr. Hardy had a date? I suppose I could have been mistaken for Charlie Chaplin, but my body shape was more Hardy than Chaplin!
The only other Halloween picture I have is from my Sophomore year of high school. The band had a Halloween party at some barn as I recall and we all went to it. I didn’t know what to go as, and decided on going as a clown. I threw on a pair of pajama pants over my jeans, one of my dad’s old shirts, an awful sport coat, clown wig, hat and tie, and added a huge horn. It was ridiculous!
This is just a guess, but that year at the annual Band Banquet, I won the Mock Elections for “Band Clown.” I am sure that this outfit played a part in that win. It was cool to win that award every year I was in band.
While this wasn’t necessarily Halloween, one of the other photos of my “in costume” that came up was one that I used when I worked at 94.5 The Moose. I used to take song lyrics and read them behind some classical music and called it a “Dramatic Reading.” It was a silly chance to “overact.”
The first reading I did was Gretchen Wilson’s Redneck Woman. Imagine classical music playing with me dramatically saying, “Victoria Secret. There’s stuff’s real nice. But I can buy the same damn thing on a Walmart shelf – half price!” It was utter stupidity. To promote it on the website, they took this picture:
HA! I’m such an idiot!
I suppose it is probably better that there are no pictures of me in those cheap costumes. I remember I was always overweight and the pants always seemed to rip before we were done Trick or Treating. And half the time, the thing that held the mask on broke after three or four blocks and wound up in the bottom of the Trick or Treat bag or pillowcase anyway.
As silly as these are, they are fun to look back at!
Time for another Friday Photo Flashback. This time around I’m taking you to my room….circa 1990.
The shelf you are looking at sat above my bed (a waterbed…lol). Above it was another shelf with the globe my grandmother had got me for Christmas, some ceramic pieces my mom made me and a few other things.
Just by looking at this picture, I can recall where everything else was in the room. To the right of this picture is the window that looks out to the front yard. On the wall opposite this one, my dresser sat in the corner. Directly next to it was a shelf that my cheap stereo system sat on.
(The stereo had a double cassette deck, turntable, radio tuner, and a place for a microphone. Long before I worked in radio, I made tapes for people with songs I recorded off the radio with me acting as DJ. I know I’d be embarrassed to hear those now!)
The closet was to the left of this picture. All along the walls were photos, posters, and your typical teen wall decor. The shelf pictured here was the focal point of the room.In a way, this shelf encompasses “me.”
Centered on it are the (now long gone) Three Stooges figurines. I really wish I still had them. I marvelled at the detail of the faces when I first saw them. They were fairly expensive when they came out. They represent “humor,” which has always been important in my life. To laugh and make people laugh … It’s a very big part of who I was/am.
Above the Stooges, a treble clef and music notes hang. Both were gifts from my mom. I’m sure the clef hung elsewhere in the house before she gave it to me. Music has always been important to me and continues to be.
To the left of Larry is an award I got in my senior year. I think it was for “Best Dancer” which is ridiculous. I probably only got the award because I did the Curly Shuffle once at a band party. I’ve never claimed to be a dancer. Perhaps when I hit my goal weight, I will think about a dance class with Sam.
To the right of Moe is my high school diploma. I always joke that I was in the half of the class that made the top half possible. I think if it wasn’t for band class, I probably would have done even worse. I was not the ideal student. That experience only helped me when we I finally went to college – I knew what NOT to do!
The two flags were something I got at Epcot one year. They represent my Italian and American heritage. There is more in my background on my mom’s side (English, Scottish, and German), but I tend to embrace the Italian more
The screwdriver on the shelf? I have no explanation for. I’m screwy, maybe? Yeah. That’s true in a lot of ways.
While scrolling Facebook this weekend, there were lots of pictures of high school Homecoming dances and football games. Hoco, as it is now called, was one of those events I always looked forward to! I loved marching in the parade and playing the halftime show.
This morning a link to this article came up and it hit home. I cannot find an author listed, but it came from the website:
BandDirectorsTalkShop.com
What follows is the entire article. I cannot agree more with it. I know that there are many of my classmates who have band kids of their own now and they post photos of them in uniform often. I am sure they look at them knowing that they are sharing similar experiences that we did when we were in high school.
I’m sharing the article in its entirety for them and for parents with children who aren’t quite old enough to be in band yet. I hope that this conveys to them the amazing things that a band student gains from being a part of it.
Why I Want My Children To Be In Band
When I think of the character traits I want my children to develop, I think of strength, resilience, kindness, happiness, bravery, independence, balance, community, and gratefulness. Being a band director, I see how band helps students learn and develop these qualities every day.
Strength
In band, children learn to take on something difficult.
In today’s world so many things are instant; So many things are fast and easy; So many things are disposable. But learning to play an instrument is just challenging as it has always been.
Students learn delayed gratification, they learn not to give up, they learn that strength takes time and dedication and work. There are no shortcuts — which develops strength.
Resilience
The band hall is a place of expected mistakes. Students will make hundreds if not thousands of mistakes in a given class period. Millions over the course of their musical journey. Mistakes in band are not only expected; they are signs of growth.
Squeaks on a clarinet show that a student is learning to cover the holes. Cracks on a trumpet show that a student is increasing range. Missed notes on a xylophone show that a student is improving muscle memory. And because we know that mistakes and areas of improvement will never end, we know that student’s resiliency will never stop growing.
Kindness
Students in a musical ensemble are given frequent opportunities to express kindness to others.
A smile to a neighbor who performed better today than yesterday. A thumbs-up to a friend who just nailed a solo, or a hug for a friend who just bombed one. A five-minute help session with a younger band member who needs some experience. A cheering section for the beginning band or the top band.
Constant encouragement and kindness can be found in band halls every day.
Happiness
Children find happiness in many different activities. Music is one that lasts a lifetime. It allows them to put aside their worries, forget their troubles and find moments of pure joy. Whether this is happiness over an individual achievement, a perfect moment of musicality, or just having a band hall to call home, band can provide happiness when children most need it.
Bravery
Playing an instrument helps children learn to be brave.
Trying something new that is a physical as well as a personal risk can be scary. Performing by yourself for the class can be intimidating. Performing on a stage with, or without, your band friends can be terrifying. But these experiences can also be satisfying. And exhilarating. And empowering.
Learning to perform and step outside your comfort zone develops bravery.
Independence
From learning to assemble their instrument in beginning band, to performing a senior recital, students learn independence in band.
Students grow in independence every day in the band hall. Learning to take care of their equipment; learning to have their supplies; learning to come prepared to rehearsal for your own sake and for the sake of those around you; learning that what you do affects the group…
All of these opportunities to grow in independence are constant in band.
Balance
Students learn balance in band.
They learn that they are not always the most important part, but they are always important. They learn that there is a busy-season in life – a time to buckle down and work before a concert, and there is a time to breathe, to take it easy and enjoy time with their friends.
Community
Band is community.
Members learn that the part that they play may be different from the person who sits next to them, but both parts are equally important in creating beautiful music. They learn precision – that accuracy of their own part is not enough – it is equally important that they be able to play in rhythm, in sync and in tune with those around them. They learn to listen to the director, to the leaders in the ensemble, to the musicians around the room. And to thrive as a community.
Gratefulness
Watching students at final concerts is a chance to see the gratefulness they have developed because of band and music. I see students who are grateful for the opportunity to show their parents their hard work; Students who are grateful for the technique and skill that they’ve mastered; Students who are grateful for the life-long friends who are sitting beside them; Students who are grateful that – for the rest of their life – music will be a part of them.
And as a band director, I am so grateful for the privilege to watch students develop the character traits above. My wish is that my children – that all children in all band halls – develop strength, resilience, kindness, happiness, bravery, independence, balance, community, and gratefulness.
The music is what makes it possible. The challenge is what makes it possible. The dedication is what makes it possible.
Music is a great way to grow great humans.
Final Thoughts From Me
First, let me give kudos to whoever wrote this amazing piece! As a former band student, the things this band director mentions are things that I have taken with me long after graduation. They are things I have used in my life for years.
I am so glad that I had the opportunity to play an instrument under the direction of great instructors (Ron Uphoff, Lloyd Mest, and Tom Shaner) and apply those lessons learned on a daily basis. If you have a band student, you are probably seeing these things in them already. If you question whether or not to to get your child in band, I hope this article causes you to say “yes!”
It is no secret to anyone who follows my blog that I am a Band Nerd through and through! I have many wonderful memories of playing in band when I was in school. Many memories surround the high school Homecomings.
Homecoming was always on a Saturday. We’d start the day in the morning by marching in the parade. There would be an hour or so break between the end of the parade and the actual homecoming game. After the game, we’d all go home to shower and get ready for the dance that would take place that evening. It was an all day event.
Sam had mentioned earlier in the week that the homecoming parade for our local high school was tonight. We talked about taking the kids to watch it. The route is a short distance from our house, so we all dressed and loaded up the stroller and walked to get a good spot.
From where we stood, we could look down the street to see where the parade would be starting from. At 5pm on the dot, I could see the drum major leading the band out onto the main drag. Local police and fire trucks were usually at the head of our homecoming parades, but this one had the band front and center.
As the band approached, I awaited the “roll off” which would ultimately prompt the band to play the school song. The school song was always a song played on parade routes for us. There was usually one or two other songs we’d rotate through as we marched. If we were marching in a holiday parade, we might have a Christmas song in there.
The band kept coming closer and there was still no music. I figured they were waiting for a spot full of spectators before playing. Our drum majors often did this. If there was a stretch with just a few people, we marched without playing. However, if there was a big line of people along the route, you could rest assured we were playing.
Then I noticed why there was no music – the band members didn’t even have their instruments! The only ones who did were the drummers. I was floored (and disappointed) by this. It was a beautiful day – sunny and about 65 degrees at parade time – why were they not playing? I couldn’t even fathom this.
The band walked by and were all chanting or yelling something. It was probably “Go Mustangs” or “Hurray for Clio” or something like that. Why wouldn’t you want to belt out the school fight song along the route? I don’t get it. You are at the front of the parade – it’s your time to shine. You have that golden opportunity to set the stage for everything else that follows, and you just walk on by. Heck, they may as well have been throwing candy into the crowd like everyone else did in my opinion. They were no different than the boy scouts sitting on a flatbed …
When I think of a band in a parade, I think of brass players right out in front with their notes piercing through the air and letting everyone along the parade route know they are coming! They are belting out the school fight song that alumni along the road can sing along with and little kids can clap along with. Maybe it’s just a great march from John Phillip Sousa to fire up the crowd before they all file into the stands to watch the grid iron competition. The band is such an important part of a parade.
When they plan the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, they choose 10-12 high school or university bands from across the country to perform. That, in itself, tells you of the importance of the presence of a marching band in a parade. Last year in the Detroit Thanksgiving parade, there were 5 bands that performed. Even in the Mickey Mouse photo above, the characters are playing musical instruments. To me, this says that a band is vital to a good parade.
I remember vividly that our band director, Tom Shaner, would take us out at least once during homecoming week to march around the neighborhood in preparation for the parade. It was always neat to see people standing on their front porches to watch us go by. The kids who were too young to be in school would watch us and jump around and dance to the school song. Marching bands and music make people smile!
By definition, Homecoming is a long-standing American tradition where colleges and high schools would welcome alumni back to campus and the community. So when I graduated, we got some of the old band gang back together to march in the homecoming parade. Mr. Shaner was more than happy to have us back. A highlight of getting ready for the parade was meeting together a few weeks before hand to rehearse music. With all of us sitting around in the band room, it was like old times.
That first year we gathered up quite a group with good instrumentation and we marched. We used to joke that we’d need oxygen at the end of the parade! For many, we hadn’t picked up our horns in months or years! We always counted on the newly graduated to sort of carry the older folks.
A buddy’s brother designed our logo to put it on sweatshirts so we could all sort of be in uniform. What a blast we’d have getting together every year. Once Mr. Shaner retired, the interest to get together started to fade. I sure do miss playing my trumpet in those parades.
I’m not 100% sure why the local band didn’t play in the parade. Perhaps there is a specific reason. I don’t know. As a former band student, I was disappointed – not only for me, but for my kids (and all the kids on the parade route). I wanted them to hear the sounds of the band! I’m also disappointed for the band members. What is there to remember about your homecoming parade if you weren’t playing a special piece of music? Even if all you played was the school fight song 5-10 times along the route – play something! What kind of memory is just walking along? What is a marching band without music? I guess it’s just a bunch of people walking ….
For this week’s edition of the Friday Photo Flashback, we go back to Spring Break of 1989. I had graduated high school, was working at my first radio job, and my high school band was heading to Florida to perform at Disney World. My brother was still in band at the time and my parents and I tagged along on the trip as chaperones.
My grandmother and aunt had moved to Florida. At some point on the trip, my grandmother met up with us. If my memory serves me correctly, my friend Steve also came on this trip, and we were hanging out together. I wish I had spent a little more time with my grandma on this trip, but you know how 19 year old kids are …
I love this picture of my mom and my grandma. They both would be diagnosed with breast cancer and their lives would be cut short by it. In this picture, they are both healthy. This is the way I will always remember my grandma. She always seemed to wear her hair that way. It was the late 80’s, so both her and mom have those big round lenses on their glasses. I can see the watch that she always wore, too.
My mom is wearing a T-Shirt with the Kiss-FM logo. That was my first radio job, and I am sure I was still working there when this was taken. What I wouldn’t give to have one of those shirts today! Blonde was not my mother’s natural hair color, but I always loved when she wore it that color. Her hair seems to be a bit short in this picture, too.
The more I look at this photo, the more I think that this was taken just before we all loaded up the busses to head back home, or maybe before my grandma was heading home. Mom is holding shopping bags, so we had probably all just come back from one last trek to buy souvenirs. It is hard to say.
I don’t think this was the same trip (mom’s hair looks longer), but it could be.
When I found out my grandma had cancer, I avoided seeing her. I regret this. A lot. It is one of those things that comes up a lot in my mind. If I could turn back the clock, I would. I didn’t want to see her sick. I remember someone had taken some pictures of her after she had gone through some chemotherapy or radiation and she was a shell of her former self.
Those pictures sort of assured me that I was doing the right thing by not seeing her. Well, at least I thought so. I know now it was not. I should have seen her. I should have called her. I should have held her hand and said I love you. I should have had the chance to say goodbye. In Sinatra’s “My Way,” he says, “Regrets. I’ve had a few…” This is one of my biggest regrets. The only good thing about my not seeing her sick is that when I think of her, she is just as she was in these photos.
I think of these two brave women every October – Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I miss them both very much.
Various Ramblings of a Nostalgic Italian 