The Great Stall Tactic

Those who have toddlers understand. I posted this on my Facebook page and thought it was funny enough to share here.

Ella is quite smart. She is in the terrible two stage right now. This means there is a whole lot of “I want it NOW!” and “No!”

That being said, bedtime, which used to be quite easy, has become more of a process. What follows is a rough estimate of what happened at bedtime last night.

From My Facebook Page:

(5:00pm) Sam puts Teletubbies on Netflix as a joke. Little did she know that both kids would LOVE it! (Urgh!!)

(5:30pm) Ella is hugging Sam before she leaves for work. “I’m tired. I wanna go sleepy”

(6:30pm) Kids are in pajamas and await video call from Mommy.

(6:55pm) Video chat with mommy. Both kids are fighting over who gets to hold the phone.

(7:15pm) Routine diaper check/change.

(7:30pm) I ask who/what Ella is taking to bed with her. (Usually it’s her princesses or books) “Nothing!” I ask if she is sure. “Yep. Nothing.”

(7:45pm) I tell her after we watch one more Teletubbies, it’s bedtime. “I’m not ready for bed, Daddy.”

(8:00pm) I say it’s time to brush teeth. “One more Teletubbies, Daddy. Then we brush teeth”

(8:15pm) Final diaper check/change. Time to brush teeth. I turn TV off and both kids rush to the bathroom. Teeth are brushed and we head to her room. I ask again if she is bringing anything to bed. “Nope. Just my blanket and Nini (pacifier).”

(8:17pm) We begin to say bedtime prayers, she interrupts. “Daddy, I need Rapunzel, Belle, and Cinderella! (Her Little People Princesses)

(8:18pm) We find the princesses she requested and head back to the bedroom. After getting under her blanket she says, “I need book Belle!” (The Belle from Little People is holding a book. Different from the Belle holding a flower!)

(8:19pm-8:20pm) Andrew and I walk out to the living room and look for “Book Belle” who was buried in a pile of toys.

(8:21pm) We return to Ella’s room. “You found her!”. We say prayers. “Say them again, Daddy.” I ad-lib a version of what I just said. “Amen.” She begs for me to say them again. I tell her God heard us the first two times and that it is time for bed.

(8:25 pm) I turn out the light and say goodnight. “Daddy, where is Tiana?” I ask if she wants the big Tiana (a stuffy) or the small Tiana (plastic bath toy). “Big Tiana”

(8:29pm) I return after a search of the living room with Tiana. “Oh thank you, Daddy!”

(8:31pm) After kissing her goodnight, I turn out the light and start to walk out. “Daddy, I need the white blankie on my pillow.”

(8:35pm) After adding the blankie to the top of her pillow and cover her back up. “Daddy, I want the Paw Patrol Blanket on, too.”

(8:37pm) Paw Patrol Blanket is now on. I say goodnight and close her bedroom door.

(8:45pm) Andrew falls asleep and I put him in his crib. I begin to write this post.

(8:50pm) Ella begins crying. I go in to see what’s wrong. “I need you to sing me a song, Daddy.”

(8:51pm) I sing “You Are My Sunshine” a couple times.

(8:53pm) “Sing me another song, Daddy.”. I sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. “Sing the ABC song, Daddy.”. I do.

(8:56pm) “Sing me one more song, Daddy.”. I choose Vieni Su, a Dean Martin song I used to sing to her as a baby. She obviously doesn’t remember it. I tell her I used to sing it to her. “I believe you, Daddy.

(9:01pm) One more kiss goodnight and I head back to my room to finish typing this! Whew!!

Goodnight, Princess Ella. Sleep well.

A Typical Dad Day

(I’ve never read this book, but I may have to …)

Sam worked last night, so it was my day with the kids. What does a typical day with dad look like?

The day starts with Andrew up first. We take the baby monitor out into the living room so we can see when Ella wakes up. I make him a bottle and take care of diaper change number one. Within 5 minutes of finishing the bottle diaper change number 2 is in order, because he poops like clockwork.

We usually go to get Ella together when she wakes up. He thinks its funny to push open her door. I then have to grab whatever Ella wants to bring with her out of the crib. This usually consists of a nana blanket, maybe a book, maybe a stuffed animal, maybe a pillow, or maybe all of the above.

She gets a diaper change and it is time for breakfast. Somedays we eat eggs, others waffles, another day pancakes, and sometimes a smorgasbord of fruits and other things. Sam usually arrives home around breakfast time. Today she brought donuts for them. Ella loves pink dipped donuts, not that she ever eats the donut. She loves the frosting, though.

Depending on the day, we either read books, turn on the TV or play with her toys. This is when I usually make myself and Sam something to eat. I made us scrambled eggs and had to make extra because the kids were eating all of Sam’s!

Sam almost always brings out an outfit for the kids to wear. We ventured out on our morning walk and looked for our puppy friends. She now knows just about every dog in the neighborhood’s name!

When we returned home, she began to read books. Most of the time they are books off her shelf.

After reading one of her favorites, she told me to sit down so she could read me a book. The book? The Weight Watcher’s Cookbook!

She kept calling the sandwich in the book (shown above) a cheeseburger!

While she is reading to be, my daredevil son continues to find ways to hurt himself. He’s been climbing, so Sam thought it was time to bring the swing/slide thing we got for Ella a few years ago back upstairs. Well he can climb it, he just hasn’t really figured out how to slide down yet. So he gets up there and starts shaking the one wall of it and eventually steps on the slide and falls off.

He truly has no fear. Today alone, he busted open his lip three times. None of those were from falling off the slide! He just tripped over stuff and fell on his face. I swear if we have to go to urgent care again, they will have to put in a window just for him.

Comedy continues to ensue with Ella. Today she grabbed her winter coat and winter hat and asked to wear them. She had me help zip up the coat and said, “I’m already for winter and then asked to watch Frozen.

We watched it like 7 times today. I will be singing “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” and “Let it Go” in my sleep tonight!

Lunchtime this week has brought the same answer to question, “What would you like for lunch today?” “Grilled cheese and crackers!” That answer has also been offered up to “What would you like for dinner?” and “What would you like for breakfast?” I’m glad that Andrew isn’t able to answer that question yet. When they both start asking for different meals, it’s gonna drive me crazy!

After lunch, it is nap time. Today, thanks to the neighborhood dogs and open windows, the nap was cut short. Shortly after wake ups, Sam woke up for work. She said some packages she ordered were on the porch and Ella went with her to get them.

They were the Halloween costumes they are wearing this year. I won’t say what they are here, but hers involves a dress. She wanted to wear it. Sam told her she had to wait until Halloween. This was not what she wanted to hear, so Sam offered up another dress for her. My friend from work gifted us some dresses that her daughter has grown out of. They are going to be perfect for holidays or family photos. Anyway, she spent the rest of the evening wearing one of those dresses.

Earlier I had thrown some chicken in the crock pot for dinner. Sam cooked up some buttered noodles to go with it for the kids. I took the chicken out and started cutting it up. I tried a piece to make sure it had cooled down enough and it tasted funny. I can’t even really descibe what it tasted like – but you know how they always say, “it tastes like chicken?” This didn’t. I wound up throwing it away.

After Sam left for work, Ella said she wanted a snack. So she handed me one of those applesauce pouches. Andrew got one, too. They both had like three of them! Ella kept asking for more and when I got her one, he wanted one, as well.

After playing with toys for awhile, more diaper changes were needed and it was pajama time. I was lucky enough to be able to get pajamas on her tonight. I really thought that she was going to want to wear the dress to bed! I’m sure I would have let her…

She took a book to bed with her, we said prayers and I closed her door. I brought Andrew with me and tried to rock him and sing him to sleep. He had the funniest case of the giggles and it took him forever to fall asleep. Once he was asleep, I put him in his crib and took a shower.

Reflecting back on the day:

7 outfit changes. 5 poop diapers. An unknown amount of pee diapers. 3 times sweeping the floor. 2 times picking up the same toys and putting the in the toybox. 2 times vacuuming. 7 viewings of Frozen. 3 busted lips. 8 bumps on the head. 12 crying fits. 2 bad pieces of chicken. 3 cheese omelets, 2 grilled cheese sandwiches. 3 video chats. 7,953 times I heard, “Daddy!” 2 sleeping kids.

Add it all up and it equals one amazing day for a very blessed Dad!