Friday Photo Flashback

A couple days ago, I posted about October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I explained that both my grandmother and mother passed away due to breast cancer. In the comments, my blogger friend, Dana (her blog is: https://regulargirldevos.com/) made a comment led to today’s photo.

Dana’s comment: Thank you for sharing this, Keith. I’m sorry about your mom and grandmother. I do enjoy reading about them when you share your pictures and memories.

This photo of my mom and my grandma (her mom) was taken in Florida. It was taken around 1989. My parents and I went with the high school band on their Florida trip. At the time, my grandmother had moved to Florida with my aunt. I’m not sure how close we were to where they lived, but she was able to meet up with us.

My buddy, Steve, also joined us on this trip. We were “chaperones” believe it or not. We had both graduated and we went off doing our own thing while we were there. I didn’t spend much time with the family on the trip. That, however, is just a small part of a lot of regret.

When my grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was an unruly teen who was doing teen things. It seemed like my buddies and I always had something going on. So, I didn’t see much of my grandma. Naturally I had heard things about cancer, but I guess I thought if I didn’t think about it, it wouldn’t bother me. To a degree, that was true.

I rarely appeared at family functions because I wanted to hang with my friends instead. I don’t recall what the family function was, but my mother had taken pictures at it. When she got the photos back from the store (yes, kids, we often had to wait to see our pictures), she was going through them. There was a photo of my grandmother that shocked me.

She looked so thin and pale. I don’t even know how much chemotherapy she had been through at this time, but it obviously took a toll. She wore a terrycloth hat over her head, which was like a beret. She had lost most of her hair at that time. She was wearing what looked like a blue robe. In that photo, my grandma did not look like my grandma. That photo sealed the deal – I did not want to see my grandma that way. I didn’t see her until after she passed away.

When I think back to the time I could have spent with her, I kick myself. It was unfair to her. It was wrong of me. There were things that were not said that I would like to have shared with her. I missed way too much because I was in my own little world. It is one of my biggest regrets.

I will always remember her as she looked in the above photo.

Welcome October

How is it October already? I swear, I feel like it was just the beginning of summer. October is a month that I love and hate at the same time.

I love October because the fall colors really show. It is high school football games and bonfires. It is trips to the cider mill and Halloween. It is post-season baseball and sweatshirt weather.

My mother and my grandmother both passed away from breast cancer in October, so I hate it for that. I do believe that it is ironic that they passed in October, though. If you were not aware, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Every year I was in radio, I always made sure that I was involved in a Breast Cancer event. It may have been a motorcycle club doing a ride for breast cancer or a classic car show. Sometimes it was at a clinic or hospital where free mammograms were being done.

From breastcancer.org:

Breast cancer is the most common cancer diagnosed among women in the U.S. Each year, about 32% of all newly diagnosed cancers in women are breast cancer.
In 2025, approximately 316,950 women will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer, with 59,080 new cases of ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS), which is non-invasive.
About 16% of women with breast cancer are younger than 50 years of age.
About 66% of breast cancer cases are diagnosed at a localized stage — before cancer has spread outside of the breast — when treatments tend to work better.
There are currently more than four million women with a history of breast cancer in the U.S. This includes women currently being treated and women who have finished treatment.
About 42,170 women will die from breast cancer in 2025.
Less than 1% of all breast cancers occur in men.
Approximately 1 in 8 women (13%) in the U.S. will develop invasive breast cancer at some point in their life.

Early detection is so important. If you are a woman, I encourage you to get your yearly mammogram. Please don’t wait.

Friday Photo Flashback

For this week’s edition of the Friday Photo Flashback, we go back to Spring Break of 1989. I had graduated high school, was working at my first radio job, and my high school band was heading to Florida to perform at Disney World. My brother was still in band at the time and my parents and I tagged along on the trip as chaperones.

My grandmother and aunt had moved to Florida. At some point on the trip, my grandmother met up with us. If my memory serves me correctly, my friend Steve also came on this trip, and we were hanging out together. I wish I had spent a little more time with my grandma on this trip, but you know how 19 year old kids are …

I love this picture of my mom and my grandma. They both would be diagnosed with breast cancer and their lives would be cut short by it. In this picture, they are both healthy. This is the way I will always remember my grandma. She always seemed to wear her hair that way. It was the late 80’s, so both her and mom have those big round lenses on their glasses. I can see the watch that she always wore, too.

My mom is wearing a T-Shirt with the Kiss-FM logo. That was my first radio job, and I am sure I was still working there when this was taken. What I wouldn’t give to have one of those shirts today! Blonde was not my mother’s natural hair color, but I always loved when she wore it that color. Her hair seems to be a bit short in this picture, too.

The more I look at this photo, the more I think that this was taken just before we all loaded up the busses to head back home, or maybe before my grandma was heading home. Mom is holding shopping bags, so we had probably all just come back from one last trek to buy souvenirs. It is hard to say.

I don’t think this was the same trip (mom’s hair looks longer), but it could be.

When I found out my grandma had cancer, I avoided seeing her. I regret this. A lot. It is one of those things that comes up a lot in my mind. If I could turn back the clock, I would. I didn’t want to see her sick. I remember someone had taken some pictures of her after she had gone through some chemotherapy or radiation and she was a shell of her former self.

Those pictures sort of assured me that I was doing the right thing by not seeing her. Well, at least I thought so. I know now it was not. I should have seen her. I should have called her. I should have held her hand and said I love you. I should have had the chance to say goodbye. In Sinatra’s “My Way,” he says, “Regrets. I’ve had a few…” This is one of my biggest regrets. The only good thing about my not seeing her sick is that when I think of her, she is just as she was in these photos.

I think of these two brave women every October – Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I miss them both very much.