The Oxford Dictionary defines a “rite of passage” this way: a ceremony or event marking an important stage in someone’s life, especially birth, puberty, marriage, and death.
Wikipedia says: “A rite of passage is a ceremony or ritual of the passage which occurs when an individual leaves one group to enter another. It involves a significant change of status is society.“
Some popular rites of passage include:
Getting a driver’s liscence
Completing toilet training
Getting married
Retirement
Getting baptized.
Graduation
While the rite of passage I am talking about today may not be as big an event as the above mentioned, it means a lot to me. It is one that has been passed down to all the males in my family. My grandfather introduced them to my dad. My dad introduced them to me. I introduced them to my two oldest sons, and now my youngest son.
Thursday night, Andrew was fighting wearing his CPAP. This is a regular occurrence that requires some bargaining by mom or dad to get him to do so. Usually, it means he can watch his tablet for a bit or a short show on TV. (Yes, I am aware of how bad TV and screen time before bed it, but a dad’s gotta do what a dad’s gotta do!) My wife’s suggestion floored me. It made me giddy!
“What if dad puts on the Three Stooges for you?”
Did I truly hear what I think I heard? Yes. Yes, I did.
So my son crawled up into bed with us and I found an episode on Youtube.
He chuckled and laughed out loud through the entire episode. Moe slapping Larry or bonking Curly on the head made him laugh almost uncontrollably. I laughed along with him and the two of us, just like his brother’s before him, bonded over slapstick comedy. When I left for work on Friday, he told me that he can’t wait to watch “the three funny guys” again with me.
My wife posted her own picture on social media with the following caption:
“I guess I didn’t know that the love of The Three Stooges was a genetic thing when I married Keith. Now here I am stuck watching this stupidity as a bribe for Andrew to wear his CPAP machine.”
This is a true rite of passage. I couldn’t be more proud! Atta boy, son! The torch has been passed ….
It seems like it’s been a while since I posted a non-music/personal blog. Believe me, it is not because of a lack of things going on! It seems like my wife and I have been on the go constantly with the craziness of every day life. So here is a brief update:
Happy Anniversary!
It certainly does not feel like it has been seven years, but who am I to question WordPress? Today marks 7 years of blogging on this platform for me.
This blog has been such an important part of my life the last 7 years. Those who have been with me from the beginning know that it started as my place to vent. Then I began sharing memories that I wanted to document before I couldn’t remember them anymore. Then I began to sprinkle in music, movies and entertainment themed pieces. Over time, I added features and that sort of brings us to where this blog is today.
This blog began shortly before I got remarried. The story of our courtship, proposal and wedding are chronicled here. The roads that led to the excitement and wonder of the birth of our two children are also well documented. Highlights from the last 7 years are here for future reference. The blogs here hold answers to questions my kids might have. These are for the future, just in case I am not around to share them.
I am so grateful to have this place in the Blog-o-verse/Blog-o-sphere to share things. I am happy to have connected with wonderful people – LIKE YOU – who interact with me, share your stories and offer encouragement. Thank you!
Kid Stuff
The entire country is experiencing the cold weather and many places are seeing snow for the first time in ages. I was surprised to see the snow on Pensacola Beach! There were plenty of snowy photos from my friends in the southern states on Facebook.
The cold temperatures canceled the entire week of school for my daughter. She loves school, so she was sad to miss. However, it did allow her and my son to join my wife and her mom at the local Children’s Museum. They had a blast spending the day there. She told me all about it when I got home.
They had a dress up area and a “carriage” that she got to ride in. All princesses need a carriage, right?
We have been waiting to get my son in for his CPAP sleep study. Our lab has been so busy that their first available appointment was in February. The problem is, we wanted it done before his appointment with the sleep neurologist next week. Thankfully, I heard that we had a couple cancellations this week. I called my wife and asked if she could come in that night with him. She was at Dance rehearsal with my daughter. So we made some arrangements and were able to get him in.
He wore CPAP for a short while when he was about 2 years old. He has since had adenoids removed and tonsils shaved. There is still apnea, so we thought it best to try the PAP route again.
Side Note: As a sleep technologist, I can tell you that there are plenty of adults who have trouble with CPAP. When people hear that my son (or any child) is on CPAP, they wonder how they do it! I think my son is a bit more prepared as I wear CPAP and my mask every night. He thinks he’s gonna be cool like dad with his mask.
This time around it was a bit more difficult for him. He was waking up WAY more than he did before. It was strange, because he has done it before. This time, however, he comes in with a diagnosis of Restless Leg Syndrome/Periodic Limb Movement Disorder. His arms and legs seem to move constantly!
Midway through the study, the tech asked my wife if this was what he did at home. In conversation, she happened to mention that his breathing looked shallow and wanted to know about any respiratory weakness. My wife said that he was working on core muscles in physical therapy. That was all the tech needed to know.
She returned to the tech room and adjusted the settings to ones we use for people with neuromuscular weakness. With a couple tweaks of the setting, my son settled and slept! Now all we have to do is wait for the doc to finalize the results. When finished, they will send over the script for the new machine. With that, my wife and I may actually sleep at night!
He was SO tired here!
Numb
You may recall that I have been suffering with numbness in my hands since the weekend after Christmas. At one point there was swelling, too. After a visit to my PCP, I was given a referral to another doctor in hopes of getting answers. This might include getting an EMG done.
I scheduled that appointment and it is finally happening next week. The problem I am having is that the numbness in my right hand is almost gone. Now there is just pain in the finger tips. My left had still has numbness mainly in the fingers. The pain and numbness is worse when I get up for the day. As much as I wish it would go away completely, I hope it is still there when I visit the doctor.
Favorite Childhood Book
I will begin posting the contributions from other bloggers for Share Your Nostalgia Part 2 the first week of February. It isn’t too late if you want to take part. The topic is to write about your favorite book from your childhood. It could be one your parents read you or the first book you checked out of the library. It could be one that you read to your children as they grew up. If interested, drop me a note at: nostalgicitalian@yahoo.com
Time Off – But Not For Fun
I am hoping to work ahead on the blog. At the end of February and early March I am taking time off work. My wife is having some surgery and I will need to be home with her. She’s not going to be able to do much, and I will have to play referee to the kids. She’ll be in a lot of pain, and so I need to be there with her. I’d appreciate if you would keep her in your thoughts.
I will try to post updates as I am able during that time.
Three years ago today, at 7:07pm, Sam and I welcomed our son, Andrew, into the world.
There was plenty of excitement when he was born, that’s for sure. It was like a whirlwind. Three years later, and that whirlwind has yet to slow down!
Right from the get go, he’s kept up on our toes with plenty of medical things. His head was misshapen early on and one of the first things he had to get was a helmet.
Then there was laryngomalacia and surgeries to correct it. A laryngeal cleft that needed a surgical fix.
Ankle braces, followed by up to the knee braces, and in a month or so another set of ankle braces.
Not to mention 5 sleep studies, CPAP, and many genetic tests. And let’s not forget Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy, and Physical Therapy.
Andrew, you kept your mommy and me very busy and, at times, very worried. We wondered if you would ever speak, but you certainly have mastered that! You are always talking now!
And your energy! Wow, if I could bottle come of that up! You are forever on the go. You never seem to stop running. You were born to play soccer (or any sport that lets you run around like crazy!).
When you are in a good mood, your laughter is contagious. You can be so very silly. When you wrestle, you are unstoppable (and often leave dad in tears because of a well placed kick or hit)! When you are in a bad mood, it ain’t pretty. You certainly remind me of my younger self. Of all of my four children, your temper tantrums top them all! The way you throw things may very well lead to a career in baseball or football.
You are unique, my son. I love you, always! You are a very special boy. You are a precious gift from God. I know that you will go on to do amazing things. Mommy and I cannot wait to be there with you and cheer for you along the way.
Happy Third Birthday, Bubby! Get ready to celebrate!!
Not too long ago, my boss at the sleep lab left to pursue another opportunity. Before she left, she asked me if I would be willing to speak to an EEG class at the Carnegie Institute. It was something that she was lined up to do and with the new position, she was unable to do it.
I have done a few presentations for my job. I have spoken at a local sleep conference, presented at a senior living center, and other various appearances. This is something that I truly love to do, so naturally, I said I would do it.
There are a lot of similarities between sleep and EEG, but also a lot of differences. This talk, and the one next week, will offer the students a look at the sleep side of things. Tonight I presented a basic “intro” to the students and will go into the various sleep disorders next week.
The director and the president of the institute were there to greet me when I arrived and were both very pleasant. I felt very welcome. They showed me the room I would be presenting in and got me set up.
It was a nice group of students and they asked some very good questions throughout my presentation. The class is supposed to take a couple ten minute breaks, but they opted to not take them tonight, which allowed my to finish a tad early. (From my days in the college classroom, I can tell you that I always loved when the class let out a bit early.)
As with most classes, there were those who bolted as soon as I was finished and those who hung out afterward to ask questions about sleep in general, CPAP, and even getting into sleep after being in EEG.
I am really looking forward to next week’s presentation!
My youngest son, Andrew, has had his share of challenges in his almost two years. After his first sleep study, he was diagnosed with laryngomalacia. It was causing him to have sleep apnea. A surgery was done to correct that problem. While in surgery, a cleft was discovered and the surgeon filled it.
Three months later, he had a second sleep study and his sleep apnea index had gone down, but not quite enough. We opted to try CPAP, which meant a third (CPAP) sleep study. It worked for a while, but because of a lack of proper pediatric CPAP masks, we wound up stopping and attempting to treat it another way. Medications to help open nasal passages and the airway were prescribed and they seemed to work well, as he was sleeping a bit better (despite some louder snore).
Just before the Fourth of July, he had a fourth study and we discovered that his apnea is worse than it was last time. We also found that the laryngomalacia, which he should have grown out of by now, was still an issue.
Andrew had his visit to the ENT today and there was quite a discussion. It seems to the doctor and his colleagues that the main issue is the cleft. They will probably have to do a deeper scope to make sure there isn’t another cleft. The goal is to repair the cleft or clefts. They may remove tonsils and adenoids, too. Either way, it is a much bigger surgery than we anticipated.
He will probably be in the hospital for a few days, perhaps in ICU. We’ll be awaiting a call to schedule surgery Monday. They think it will be sometime in August or September. I found this video on YouTube, which only scared me more.
My wife and I are quite overwhelmed right now. We can only hope and pray that this will take care of Andrew’s issues and the healing will be fast and easy.
I thank you in advance for your good vibes, your positive thoughts, and prayers as we anxiously await a plan of action.
If you are a parent, you know that your children are always a good source of stories to share. Here are a few of mine from the past few days:
Tea Party Gone Bad
While Andrew took a nap recently, Ella and I were in the living room playing with her Disney Princess Barbie dolls. She brought me the Mulan Barbie and she had her Moana Barbie. She sat them both across from each other and then grabbed a tea pot and tea cups. She set them in front of each doll. She then brought over this mushroom/muffin looking toy (she obviously thought they looked more like muffins). This is when things went awry!
I started to make Mulan (who she had given to me) drink her tea. I made slurping sounds and then did a loud fake burp. This made her laugh. Then I did it again. More laughter. Then I made really loud slurping sounds and the cup ended up on Mulan’s head. She started to do the same thing to her Moana. I was laughing just as hard as she was, especially when she was making her fake burp sounds.
Pausing Pap
Andrew has been using CPAP for over a week. Here’s the thing, it is supposed to help him sleep better. However, because of his age and the limited masks that he can use, the one he has works – when it stays on. Basically, mom and dad are the ones who aren’t sleeping now. Sam and I find ourselves pulling it back on his head or fighting him to get it back on. It is a struggle.
We e-mailed his doctor about it and we’re gonna take a break for a day or two to see if that helps. The good thing is that his apnea is mild, and we were only anticipating him wearing it for less than a year. The doc told us, if he lets us put it on – use it. If not – don’t.
All in all, whether he is rested or not, he is still giving us plenty of smiles!
Toddler Vocabulary Lesson
Ella did the cutest thing the other day. We had misplaced the TV remote and I asked her to help me find it. She reached he hand up to her eyes like she was looking through binoculars and said:
“Daddy, I can’t find the remote. I will have to use my ‘oculars’ and look for it!”
Hardest Part of Parenting
As a father of four children, I have taken each of them in for shots more times than I can count. There is always that look of, “How could you let them hurt me like that, Daddy?” after they get poked. It kills me every time.
Last week, Ella had her three year old well visit. We noticed that she is bruising very easily. She jumps around a lot and (as most toddlers do) bumps into just about everything. The bruising concerns us a bit, so her primary doc wanted to run some bloodwork to make sure she is ok. Sam was with her at that appointment and she was told she could just go next door to the lab to get the blood draw.
Ella was extremely scared and voiced that numerous times. I guess they poked her a couple times and could not get the draw. They were going to try to do the other arm and Sam said, “No, we’ll do it another day.” Ella had been through enough. So, today, it was my turn to take her to get it done.
I had picked out a short sleeve short for her, but she wanted to wear a dress. There were no sleeves on it and so the tourniquet the wrapped on her arm bothered her a lot. She sat in my lap and said she was scared. I did what I could to keep her calm, but after the first poke, she moved and wound up blowing the vein. The tech decided to try the other arm. In my head, I decided I would let them try one time and if they didn’t get it, we’d leave.
They found a good vein, got the poke and Ella and I took deep breaths and counted to 5 (over and over). That helped a lot! Once they were done and pulled the needle out, she was still crying, but she looked at the techs who did the draw and said, “Thank you.” They offered her a pack of graham crackers, and she was all better.
Hopefully, the test results will be normal.
Heavenly Visitor?
I’ve never been one to believe in supernatural stuff, but today something happened that made the hair on my neck stand up. I’m still scratching my head over it.
When I woke up for work today, Sam asked me what my oldest son called my mom (he is the only one of my kids who knew my mom before she passed away). I told her that he always called her “grandma.” She asked further, “Did he ever call her Grammy?” He didn’t. My ex’s mom was “Grammy,” but my mom was always “Grandma.”
I asked her why she wanted to know. She proceeded to tell me that Ella had said something to her today and when Sam asked her where she heard it (or maybe it was who told her that), she replied, “My Grammie in heaven.” So this peaked my curiosity and I asked her what else she had told her. She said something about princesses, but Sam and I think she was just talking about the princesses that we got for that Tonie.
The longer I sat in the living room drinking my first cup of coffee, the more I wondered about what she said. I have no pictures of my mom hanging in the house. I don’t have photo albums that we can look through. All the physical photos I do have are in a box and the rest are digital. For some reason, this really bugged me. So I took it a step farther.
I grabbed my phone and opened up my Facebook page. I went to the photo albums and found one that contains pictures of my mom. I pulled up one from before she got sick and opened it on my phone. I showed Ella this picture:
It had been a few minutes and I was sure she had already forgotten our mention of my mom. I asked her, “Ella, who is this?” Without missing a beat, she said, “My Grammie in heaven.” I was dumbfounded. I truly don’t know that Ella has seen but one or two pictures of my mom, yet she recognized her immediately.
When we found out that we were going to have a baby, my wife bought a special onesie that brought me to tears.
Who am I to question whether or not mom and Ella still talk?
My son, Andrew, has had a hard time sleeping since he was born. We took him to an ENT and they found that he had laryngomalacia. A sleep study was ordered and it showed that the laryngomalacia was leading to sleep apnea (That’s what the photo above is). This led to a minor surgery to try to correct it. I blogged about that here:
A few months after the surgery, Andrew was back in my sleep lab to see if the surgery had indeed corrected the sleep apnea. This time around, our pediatric neurologist wanted to check for seizure activity and muscle movements as well. The study results showed that the apnea got better, but hadn’t gone away completely.
My wife and I knew exactly what that meant – CPAP. We both have run many sleep studies on children and many CPAP titrations as well. They are not always an easy thing. I will be honest, I was not looking forward to running his CPAP study, anticipating that he was going to fight us all night long. However, to our surprise, he actually did quite well and slept most of the night.
Sam went and picked up his CPAP machine today. Before going on, I will tell you that the past week has been very difficult for us (more for her). They terrible twos are kicking in BIG time with Ella. Both kids have been a handful and hard to deal with. That being said, knowing that Sam was going to be the one to be with him for his first night at home with CPAP had me praying that all went well.
Sam said he cried for a little bit, so she put on Elmo. He calmed down and when she told him it was bed time, he laid down and went to sleep! She sent me this picture:
I couldn’t be more proud of my little C-Papper! What a champ! I know that this is going to really help him in the future. Hopefully, he will only need to wear it a few months.
I’m finally getting back into a normal routine again. Last week I had a couple nights off work for Ella’s birthday and all the days have been running together. Here are a few things I neglected to post about over the past couple days.
PAP for the Little Man
Last Wednesday, Andrew was back at the sleep lab. He has apnea and he was back to try CPAP. I can tell you it is difficult to get some adults to use CPAP, let alone a 15 month old child. My wife and I expected a night of hell! At first, it looked like that was going to be the way it was going to go. There aren’t many pediatric CPAP masks, and the one he started with seemed to really be bugging him. We collectively decided to try the only other mask we knew of, and it worked like a charm. He went right to sleep with the new mask and slept through the night.
We got the call today that his machine and mask will be ready on Friday. The doctors hope that he will only have to wear it for a few months. Fingers crossed.
Fruity Call
My best friend Jeff came over the other day. Sam and Andrew were both sleeping. Ella gets excited whenever folks come over. So she’s running around, hopping and hollering. Sam woke up for work and comes out and joins the conversation.
As we are talking, Ella grabs this toy banana, puts it to her ear and begins yelling, “Hello!? Hello?! I can’t hear you! I’ve got a banana in my ear!”
She repeats this over and over and each time she laughs harder at her joke!
No idea whether she heard this somewhere or she made it up, but it made us all chuckle!! She’s my little comedian!!
What Football Game!?
It’s funny. For years I always had a Super Bowl party to go to. Over the past couple years, I just watched it from home. Over the past few days, anyone I have talked to asked if I watched the game on Sunday. “No.” I had to reply. You see, when you have a three year old, you basically watch what she wants or you suffer with a melt down.
No. I did not see the game. However, I did get a couple hours getting to know Gabby and her dollhouse!
Normally, I sleep until about 4 or 4:30 in the afternoon on work days. I was pretty exhausted when I got home this morning, so I was looking forward to a good sleep. That didn’t happen.
I have sleep apnea. I sleep with a CPAP machine. With it on, my apnea issues are resolved and I sleep through the night (or day). I was abruptly awakened this afternoon around 2:00pm. I didn’t quite know what happened and then realized that my CPAP was not on. I reached over to turn on the light – nothing. No display on the CPAP, either. The power was out.
Sam had come in about 1pm to nap while Ella napped. The baby monitor, which she had turned on when she came in was now beeping because it lost the connection to the camera. The camera runs on electricity, while the monitor has a battery. So, now we were both up. I tried to go back to sleep, but my apnea would wake me up the minute I fell asleep.
Eventually Ella woke up and I went in to get her. Naturally, for the next couple hours I was reminded of all the things we just take for granted. There were no lights in the bathroom, so I had to shower by the lantern light before work. Our oven/stove is electric, so the dinner we planned on having didn’t happen. We ended up grabbing drive thru. Worst of all, no power to the coffee pot. I had to drive through Tim Horton’s on my way to work, because I needed my coffee!
No power meant no TV, which was actually very nice. Ella was in such a fun mood when she woke up. We read books, played peak a boo, and goofed around with toys and such. One on one time with our kids without the distraction of modern technology is actually a good thing.
Sam called around 8pm to say that the power had finally come back on. I was glad to hear that because I’m not sure Ella would have fallen asleep without her sound machine on. Not only that, it is supposed to get cold tonight and that would mean no heat. It was still a bit windy tonight, so fingers are crossed that the power remains on through the night.
Funny Story From The Weekend
I neglected to include this story in the Weekend Review Blog from yesterday. As we get closer to the baby’s arrival, we’ve come to realize how NOT ready we are. One of the things we did on Saturday was build his swing. Our living room is basically THE room in our house. When we built Ella’s room, we lost our dining room, so the kitchen table when out in the living room. As we gathered more and more stuff for Ella, the table went to the basement.
So Saturday, we are looking at all the stuff we brought back up for the baby. We have the pack and play, the swing, the furniture that was already in the room, and of course, all of Ella’s stuff. Sam and I stood in the middle of the room deciding just how to rearrange everything to make it all fit. We tossed around a few ideas and eventually moved things to where we have as much space as we can, and still have room for everything. (I still think the ottoman is going to end up back in the basement.)
We crawled into bed that night just exhausted from moving everything around. I turned out the light and laid down. The only sound in the room was the sound of the music from Ella’s room coming from the baby monitor. As I feel my self beginning to doze, in true Sam fashion, she turns to me and says, “You know what I just thought about?! Where in the world are we going to put the Christmas tree this year?!?”
For 5 days, I have opened my blog with every intention of writing. I have stared at the blank page, not really knowing what to write. How do I begin to even tackle what has been on my mind? I mean, I didn’t even tell my wife about it until just a couple days ago. I guess I didn’t realize just how much I was thinking about it until a couple weeks of constant dreams and a discussion with my therapist.
Maybe it is the “rising Covid numbers.” Maybe it is the fact that I am now required by work to get vaccinated or lose my job. Maybe it is the fact that death just seems a whole lot more common on my Facebook news feed. I’m not sure, but it seems like I am thinking a lot about it.
I have sleep apnea and wear my CPAP every night. That should allow me to sleep through the night without waking up every couple hours due to apnea. I have checked the CPAP app on my phone and according to it, I am not having enough apneas to wake me up, so why am I up every hour? It’s bad enough to constantly wake up, but when you lay there and fight to go back to sleep, it can be aggravating.
Even trying to fall asleep, my mind will not shut off. My prayers are interrupted with random thoughts. As I close my eyes, I begin to have bizarre thoughts. I find myself screaming inside my head “STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT!” I have tried those apps that play music and “talk” you to sleep. I have tried to put myself in my “happy place,” but my mind just doesn’t want to shut off.
In the past year, I have seen too many people pass away. Not all of them had Covid, but some did. Heart attack, sepsis, old age, cancer, and other illnesses have claimed the lives of friends, former teachers, and former co-workers. Just this week a friend from high school lost her life to Covid.
There is that old quote that says something about the only two certainties in life are death and taxes. A pastor friend of mine always says that the “death rate is still one apiece.” In the Bible, it reads: “And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” (Hebrews 9:27). In a book I was reading this week it said “You’re only one breath away from eternity.” All of those quotes are true.
I can’t even explain the uneasiness and anguish I have experienced over the past couple weeks. I’m not even sure why! Without getting theological or anything, I will say that I am not afraid of death, because I have settled that issue and know where I am going when I die. That may sound pompous, but I stand by my faith and trust that my Savior, Jesus Christ, died for me.
Despite the fact that I have peace with this, I have found myself laying in bed wondering about things. I have literally laid there with my eyes closed thinking about what I need to write down in a letter to my each of children should something happen or a love letter to my wife. What would I need to tell my dad or my brother? My mind races with these things for absolutely no reason.
As I look around at what is going on in the world, I see things happening that don’t sit well with me. I see such division. I see so much hate. I see (and feel) distrust for the government. There is way too much of the “I’m right! You’re wrong!” mentality. It makes me sad.
I have talked to people “for” and “against” the vaccine. So much uncertainty. I worry. I’m scared. I shouldn’t be, but I am. Is this where it all stems from? God only knows. God give me peace in the days and weeks ahead, please.
Various Ramblings of a Nostalgic Italian 