As a customer, all I ask is that you do your job right the first time. If I have to call you more than twice, you will be speaking to “Angry Keith.” Honestly, I feel bad for the “smiling customer care representative” who answers my call.

We’ve used the same physical therapy place for both of our kids. With each one, they have messed up the billing. My insurance is the primary, Sam’s is the secondary. When we call about a bill they either don’t have both insurances or they bill the wrong one. The call always goes the same way – they ask for all the insurance information and say that they will correct the problem.

We received a fourth or fifth bill for my daughter this week. It was for over $2100. They still have not billed it right. So, today I called from work on my break. I explain the situation once again to the lady who answered the phone. She puts me on hold to look at the case. When she returns, she tells me once again that the primary insurance is out of state or out of network, so that is why they billed the secondary and why the secondary only covered part of it.

What this poor soul does not know is that I called my insurance company before I called her. I had them look for any attempts for the therapy place to bill them. The statement is for therapy sessions dating back to November of last year. Surprise, the insurance company says that the only bill that they received was in April of this year. It was covered and all we owed was the co-pay. That is what was supposed to happen with all of the other visits.

I asked the lady at the therapy place if they had billed all of the dates on the statement to my insurance. She says that they did and some claim committee (whatever that is) reviewed this and said that my insurance was out of state/network and that is why they told them to bill the secondary. At this point I kind of lose it.

I tell the woman on the phone that I talked to my insurance company and they never were billed until April. I said that I wanted to speak with someone on this “committee.” She told me, “I’m sorry, sir, but they don’t speak with customers and we can only communicate with them through e-mail.”

“Of course,” I said, “Because they certainly don’t want to speak with a customer like me. They don’t want to admit their mistake, their lie, and have to actually pay for the service that IS COVERED!”

I said a few other choice words, but said, “I need to to e-mail those bigshots on the committee and tell them to rebill those dates of service to the primary insurance, who stated that they have covered the first and only bill they have received from you. You can also tell them that if this isn’t rectified, I will go up the ladder – even if I have to e-mail them!”

If I had a dollar for every time the woman said “I’m sorry,” “I understand your frustration,” or “I will get this taken care of,” I could pay off the bill!

The kicker? After listening to me rant for what seemed like 20 minutes, she then says, “Is there anything else I can help you with, today?” Seriously?!? You didn’t help me with anything today! Even if I had another problem, I wouldn’t ask you to help me with it.

(Deep breath in) (Count slowly to ten)

I hate insurance companies.