Sam pointed out to me that next to Christmas, the day of the Daddy Daughter Dance is what our daughter looks forward to most. She is SO right. We’ve been counting down the days since Christmas!
Thanks to the steroids that the doctor put me on, I packed on a few more pounds than I anticipated. So, I had to alter my outfit at the last minute. Ella, of course, noticed. She asked, “Aren’t you going to wear a tie tonight, daddy?” I told her this year I wanted to be different, and she was ok with that lame excuse.
She looked just beautiful. What an honor to be escorting her to the dance.
We arrived early, and she insisted that she wanted to go inside. I told her we were 30 minutes early and the door was probably locked. She made me get out of the car and try the door, which was open. LOL. We went upstairs to get the professional photo taken, then headed to the gym.
The DJ was already playing music. He was one of those “gotta mix the songs at the same beat guys.” I’ve never been that way. I always felt it sounded weird when two songs were playing at the same time for 30 seconds. Ella didn’t notice and started to dance, even though she was one of four girls in the gym.
The theme this year was Barbie. So we had to get a photo with Ken and Barbie.
They also had a Barbie car for us. Naturally, I let Ella drive….
I think we just avoided hitting a roadrunner on that trip!
One of the projects that we could do together was to “bedazzle” some sunglasses. We made a pair for each of us. She said she wanted to make glasses for her brother and for her mom, so we went back later and did that.
She requested Let It Go from Frozen and we got to dance to that again. Three years in a row, that has been our first dance together. A while later, she was sitting drinking water and they played My Girl by the Temptations. I said, “Oh, Daddy loves this song!” She set her water bottle down and said, “Then we have to dance to it!” I picked her up and swayed with her, singing it to her. She was all smiles.
Not too long ago, on my Music of My Life feature, I mentioned how the song Daughters by John Mayer took on a new meaning when I became “girl dad.” Well, that new meaning went a lot deeper last night. This will forever be one of the best moments of my life:
When Daughters started to play, we were still swaying. She put her arms around my neck and leaned her head against mine. I reached up and wrapped my arm around her. For 4 minutes, it was just her and me. I swayed with my eyes closed, holding back tears. It was the most amazing dance. I was lost in my thoughts, too.
I know that as a 54 year old man, I may not be around when she gets married. We may never get the chance to have THAT Daddy/Daughter dance. So I treasure the ones we do get, and that one was extra special!
Every year, we take pre-dance pictures. It is amazing to compare them and see how much she has grown. This year’s was eye opening. In the first one, she still has that “baby” look to her. She would have been three for that dance. My beard gets more grey in them, too. The photos are a reminder of just how fast time goes by and how every moment is important.
Ella, thank you for spending such an amazing evening with me. Every day my love for you grows. I am already looking forward to next year’s dance. I love you forever!
Welcome back to The Music of My Life, where I feature ten songs from each year of my life. In most cases, the ten songs I choose will be ones I like personally (unless I explain otherwise). The songs will be selected from Billboard’s Year-end Hot 100 Chart, Acclaimed Music, and will all be released in the featured year.
I turned 34 in 2004. By then, we had figured out that there was something not right with my son’s development. We went through a ton of testing with him. Blood work ruled out a lot. We began intensive therapies. They helped. As time progressed we moved from “developmentally delayed” to “autism” and finally to “Asperger’s.” He overcame so many obstacles and today has a job and is ready to move out on his own.
When you deal with something like this, it is difficult to remember all that was going on at the time. You are consumed with all the various therapies and appointments. As I tried to look back on 2004, I felt a disconnect to much of it. There were things I remembered, but most of the year was a blur.
How about we dig into the tunes?
I was on the phone one day catching up with my old country Program Director Brian. They had let him go and it didn’t take him long to land another job. It was at an Adult Contemporary station. He joked around about trying not to laugh whenever he had to say “Hoobastank.” This phone call would be recalled by me years later. I was working part time at an AC station and had to talk into or out of The Reason.
It was the first time I had really heard the song. I related to it so much now. Here is a guy who admits to his lover that he isn’t perfect. He is going to disappoint and hurt them, but he wants to change. The reason for it – is his lover.
“I’ve found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new And the reason is you”
It is often a struggle to deal with our personal issues. Those things that you’ve carried around all your life. Things that are almost habitual. For the right person, you want to do whatever you can to move past those things and be a better person. I try this daily – and don’t always get it right.
The Reason
The next song is one that I wrote about for a round of Turntable Talk. In 2004, one of the hottest country songs introduced us to Gretchen Wilson. Her debut was like an M80 exploding. It was huge.
Rather than writing it all again here, you can click below to read the original blog.
My son loved Shrek. So naturally, he loved Shrek 2. The next song was written especially for the movie. It wasn’t an easy song to write.
Counting Crows lead singer, Adam Duritz, told the story of Accidentally in Love to Billboard magazine:
“I was really struggling with it. I generally don’t write songs on demand, and I almost got to the point where I thought I wasn’t going to do it. They just told me that the song had to be uplifting. They actually said, ‘Don’t write a song about Shrek. Write a song that’s about you.’ The funny thing is, the song ended up reflecting a lot of what was going on in my life at the time: falling in love with someone you’re not supposed to fall in love with because it’s inconvenient. My songs for Counting Crows are mature and generally don’t get a chance to reach kids. To be part of something like that is pretty cool.”
The song appears toward the beginning of the movie and barely broke the Top 40 (#39). It is an uplifting song that is fun to sing along with. It baffles me that it didn’t do better on the charts.
Accidentally in Love
The next song is one that not many have heard. It only went to #40 on the country chart, but it really connected with me. I have been accused of being a hoarder. I tend to save a lot of things that are special to me. Some of those things caused riff between my wife at the time and me.
I had old prom pictures, ticket stubs and mementos from past girlfriends. I had cards from my grandparents and many other things that really held a special meaning to me. I was told that those things meant more than she did and stuff like that. That wasn’t true, but I can see how it might be taken that way.
Chely Wright wrote the song with then-unknown songwriter named Liz Rose. (Liz would go on to co-write a lot of early stuff with Taylor Swift.) The lyrics of the song were written from Wright’s own experiences of saving mementos in small spaces. “I’m 33 years old, I’ve got a couple of champagne corks, and those are my stories, and I don’t have to tell about it.”
Again, it was a song I could totally relate to.
I don’t keep these things ’cause I’m longing to go back I keep them because I want to stay right where I’m at I’m reminded of my rights and wrongs I don’t want to mess this up But I wouldn’t know where I belong Without this box of stuff
I am who I am today because of my past. You cannot delete your past. The things from it helped to shape you. They helped you to grow. They helped you to think a bit more before you acted. It really is amazing how something like a ticket stub can bring change in your behavior based on what happened when you used it.
Back of the Bottom Drawer
The next song is here only because I played it at almost every party, dance, or wedding I DJ’d. Sometimes a line dance will come and go, but this one is still being played at events. What is funny to me is the story behind it.
When you do the Cha Cha Slide, does it count as a workout? Apparently it does. DJ Casper created this song for the American health club chain Bally’s Fitness, who developed a workout routine around it. The song caught on with gym members, which led to its release as a single. In 2001, the song gained traction in America at dance clubs, weddings and other celebrations.
It had been around a few years prior. According to DJ Casper: “I wrote Cha Cha Slide in 1996 as an aerobics workout program for a gym trainer friend of mine, David Wilson, and I recorded and released my own version in 1998.”
In 2003 the song resurfaced in clubs across Europe and All Around The World Records picked it up for a UK release. On March 20th 2004 this rose from #2 to #1 on the UK singles chart.
Cha Cha Slide
I laughed when I first heard the name Bowling For Soup. I had forgotten about them after this song. Then I realized that they were the band singing the theme song to the cartoon Phineas and Ferb.
1985 wasn’t a big hit, but I remembered hearing it on the radio. It only went to #23 on the charts. I liked it because of the nostalgia factor. This song is about a woman who is still living in the past. She is reliving her glory years when she was a teenager in 1985. She had big dreams, but now spends her time immersing herself in ’80s pop culture.
Jaret Reddick, the lead singer for Bowling For Soup told Songfacts:
“‘1985’ was interesting because we were coming off our biggest record, which was Drunk Enough To Dance. And we went in thinking that we had a complete album, and we recorded a complete album. We did Hangover You Don’t Deserve, and it was pretty much done. Butch Walker produced three songs on that album, and we recorded the whole record at his place. And his manager called and said, ‘Hey, a song came across my desk. You know Mitch Allan, right?’ I’m like, ‘Yeah.’ ‘Well, he wants you to call him.’ So I call Mitch Allan from SR-71, he’s like, ‘Dude, I’ve got this song. It’s a freakin’ hit for you guys. It sounds like you.’ And evidently that whole conversation happened because Mitch was pitching his band to Jonathan Daniel, who is Butch’s manager, trying to get this record that they had put out in Japan released here in the United States. And JD said, ‘Dude, that sounds like a Bowling for Soup song.’ And Mitch said, ‘You know what? You’re right.’
So anyway, he sends me the song. And I’m actually like, ‘Man, we’re done. We’re literally leaving tomorrow. This album is complete.’ We had a little studio apartment that we were staying in and I listened to the song a few times, and I’m like, ‘Yeah, it’s good.’ And the night goes on, had a few more beers, me and Gary (Wiseman – BFS drummer) sat in our kitchen and listened to it twice. And we’re just like, This is a great song. We don’t really know that it’s going to be a single, but it is great. We might as well just do it. So we went back in the next day and we cut it.
1985
I DJ’d a lot of Daddy/Daughter dances before having my daughter. I remember watching dads dancing with their little girls and tearing up. It made me understand why so many father’s cry when the dance with their daughter on her wedding day.
John Mayer’s Daughters was a song that was always requested at Daddy/Daughter dances. Sometimes, more than once. It took on a whole new meaning to me when I danced with Ella to it. The bond is a special one.
The song won Mayer Grammy Awards for Song Of The Year and Best Male Pop Vocal Performance.
I wonder if people know his inspiration for the song. According to Songfacts:
Part of the inspiration for this song was a Chris Rock comedy bit. In the bit, he talks about how a father’s main responsibility is to keep his daughter “off the pole.” In other words, to make sure she doesn’t become a stripper.
Daughters
The next song was originally done by the group Supertramp in 1977. It was written by singer/guitarist Roger Hodgson. He told Songfacts in 2012:
“That song has really taken on a life of its own, and I think it’s even more relevant today than when I wrote it. Because we really are needing to value love in a much deeper way, and also we’re needing to care. The song is basically saying: just show you care. You know, reach out and show you care. So in concert it’s the perfect show closer, because what I try to do in my show over two hours is unify the audience and unify all of us. So that at the end, when everyone stands up for ‘Give A Little Bit,’ they’re open and ready to open their hearts and sing at the top of their lungs and go away with a smile on their face. And that song really does, it has a very pure energy. The moment I start, people just start smiling. It’s amazing.”
The Goo Goo Dolls released it on their 2004 album Live From Buffalo. Their version had a lot of success on Top 40 and light rock stations. It made #37 on the Hot 100. It is on my list because I love the song and I think this is a great cover!
Give a Little Bit
One of my favorite country bands was Montgomery Gentry. I’ve had the pleasure of hanging out with them when they were touring. They were so good! The next song is probably my favorite track from them.
Eddie Montgomery and the late Troy Gentry often swapped singing lead on their songs. Troy is doing the singing on Gone. It is a classic “break up” song.
Songfacts says:
Bob DiPiero and Jeffrey Steele wrote the song. DiPiero explained to the Tennessean that he and Steele had arranged a writing session at his place on the Florida Gulf Coast. After a fruitless morning, DiPiero wanted to come up with something simple and quick so they could go to lunch. He suggested they write a song with a one-word title and two chords that tip a hat to old time country tunes. They came up with “Gone.”
The song starts off by explaining his lover has walked out on him and isdefinitely not coming back.
This ain’t no temporary, typical, tearful goodbye his ain’t no breakin’ up, then wakin’ up and makin’ up one more time This is gone (gone), gone (gone), gone (gone), gone
For the rest of the song, a series of similes is used to illustrate how his baby has certainly departed forever.
She’s gone like a:
Freight train Yesterday A soldier in the Civil War A ’59 Cadillac And like all the good things, that ain’t never comin’ back
The writing on this one is just SO good.
Gone
My last pick is one that has brought me to tears on many occasions. It is a song that makes me think of my mom and those who have passed away. Homesick by MercyMe.
The song is an expression of grief and longing. It was written after the band experienced the deaths of nine people they were connected to in a short period of time.
Wikipedia states:
Lead singer Bart Millard initially wrote the chorus to “Homesick” following a funeral service for two infants that died in utero. He did not finish the song, as didn’t want to fake his way through writing the song. However, following the death of Millard’s brother-in-law, Chris, in a car accident, Millard finished the song so as to play it at Chris’s funeral. Millard and the rest of MercyMe intended the song only to be played once—at Chris’s funeral—but Millard’s mother-in-law encouraged them to record it.
It was a top 5 song on the Christian charts and a top 10 song on the Adult Contemporary charts.
When I hear this song, I remember that there is a reunion with my mom and others who have passed on. I cannot wait for that day.
Homesick
So there are my ten picks from 2004. I’m sure that I left a few of your favorites out. Let me know which ones you loved from 2004 in the comments.
Next week, we will head to 2005. My list includes an amazing duet, a band people love to hate, a song that is the subject of October first jokes, a song that mentions ME, and the song my mom used as her ringtone the last year of her life.
Thanks for reading and listening! See you next week.
Back in September of 2019, just 5 months before Ella was born, I wrote the following:
Over the past 30 years, I have DJ’d thousands of weddings and hundreds of Daddy/Daughter dances! At weddings, I have watched countless times as two special people shared their moment in the spotlight. At Daddy/Daughter dances, I have watched dads wonder just what their little girl is screaming about when Justin Beiber or Taylor Swift start playing. I have then watched as they finally get a slow song to dance with their little girl.
As a father of boys, I never understood the bond or the feelings involved with those dances. I know I have a few years yet, but time will fly and soon enough I will be able to relate to those dads I have watched over the years. To say I am excited as I look forward to that first dance … is quite an understatement.
Now, Ella and I have done silly dances at home many times. However, the first “official” Daddy/Daughter Dance is coming this weekend! We’ll be dressing up and heading out to our special night out together. I know that I am excited about it, but I found out just how excited Ella was when I woke up for work tonight.
Sam took the kids out the store this afternoon. While they were out, Ella found the dress that she wants to wear to the dance. When I woke up, I was barely out of the bedroom and she was running at me! She couldn’t wait for me to see her dress. Sam had found a dress as well, but Ella insisted on the one she brought home.
She is going to look absolutely beautiful! I’m sure that Sam will be doing something really nice with her hair for the evening. I may stop at the store to try to find a tie that matches her dress. I also think I want to buy her a corsage for the dance. Maybe that it taking it too far. She’s three and may not keep it on, but I want her to know how special she is and how happy I am to be going to the dance with her.
I probably won’t remember to take pictures as I imagine getting way too emotional. I prepaid for pictures that will be taken at the dance and am excited to see how they turn out. It will certainly be a night I will never forget!
It is truly hard to believe that Andrew turned 1 today! It seems like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital. Yet here we are one year later. A lot has transpired in 365 days.
For new followers to the blog, you can relive all the excitement of his delivery and birthday here:
He didn’t go to bed any later than normal last night, but he slept longer than Ella today, which is not the norm. Ella was up and playing in her crib and I got up to get her. We came back to my room where Andrew was still sleeping. As much as she tries to whisper, every now and then she forgets and just gets loud. When I reminded her that it was his birthday, she screamed with excitement … and of course, woke him up.
When Sam got home from work, we whipped up some breakfast and had some well deserved family time. We snapped a few first birthday photos and then got ready for a day at the park. It was just beautiful today with temperatures up near 70. The sun made it feel a whole lot warmer.
We drove through and grabbed lunch and brought it to the park for a picnic lunch. There is a small park about 20 minutes away and it was just perfect. There was a playground with playscape and swings and a pavilion with picnic tables where we ate. There is a trail that you can walk with a small creek and fall colors.
Sam and Andrew explored the tennis courts and playground while I sat with Ella as she finished her lunch. When she was finished, we walked over to them. Sam asked if Ella wanted to show me where she had seen some ducks the last time they were there. She said she’d rather play on the playground, so Andrew and I took a walk over.
There is a little bridge that overlooks the creek and he loved just walking on it and looking down at the creek.
We were at the park for quite a while enjoying the day. We didn’t leave until it was close to nap time. Andrew wound up falling asleep in the car, which worked out because Sam wanted to stop and pick up some balloons for him. When we got home, Sam wanted to take a short nap before dinner.
Her mom stopped by to drop off Andrew’s birthday gift and brought their dog Toodles! We all love that dog! The kids loved that she was here and we all went outside and ran around with her. I wish I had gotten some pictures of that!
We had planned on making a chicken and rice dish for dinner, but I neglected to pull chicken out to thaw, so I wound up running to the store and picking up a rotisserie chicken. We made some green beans and mac and cheese to go with it.
After dinner, Andrew opened his birthday gifts and played with his new Little People School Bus before it was time for cake. We sang Happy Birthday and we gave him his cake.
Unlike the day of his cake smash pictures, this time, Andrew REALLY chowed down on this cake!!
It was very fun to watch. He just kept grabbing chunks of cake and stuffing his face. I swear, he ate 3/4 of that cake! I’m surprised he fell asleep tonight after eating all that sugar!!
He snuggled up with mommy and fell asleep on her tonight. It was just beautiful. Sam mentioned to me last night, she never really understood just how different it is in regard to the mother/son bond. She loved them both the same, but that bond is a little different. I explained that I totally understood what she was saying because I feel the same way with Ella. That daddy/daughter bond is really special.
Sam, Ella, and the birthday boy are all asleep as I write this. I think back over the last year and remember so many wonderful memories. He certainly has given us a run for our money. Plenty of after hours urgent care visits, a few months with his helmet, fracture of his foot, and all kinds of other things.
His sleep study showed he had sever sleep apnea. He was diagnosed with Laryngomalacia, which is some extra tissue on the larynx which can cause apnea and other issues. He goes in for surgery on Thursday to correct this. His sleep doc is also worried about whether or not the apnea caused some heart issues, so next week we have to go for an echocardiogram for him. We’re praying that all goes well with the surgery and the echo.
Before he has surgery, he had to get a COVID test. I had to take him in for it and I was totally prepared for a lot of crying. I just knew that it was going to be awful for him to be swabbed. The nurse came in, swabbed him, he made a face and there were no tears! I literally snapped this picture like 20 seconds after the swab.
What a blessing he is to us. As I said on Facebook today:
One year. 365 days. What an amazing trip around the sun it has been for our Andrew Joseph! He is unique and wonderful in so many ways!
This amazing little guy has brought even more happiness to our home. His bright blue eyes light up the room. His smile is contagious. His laughter is joyful noise.
His happy dance makes us all giggle with delight. He is a good little brother, even though Ella has said that he “drives me crazy!”. I have no doubt these two will be best friends. Thank you, God, for allowing me to be “dad” to these two amazing kids!!
Happy birthday, AJ! Thank you for a wonderful year of memories and milestones. We can’t wait to see what the years ahead will bring….
I love you, son.
Sam posted this:
Andrew Joseph-
Today you are ONE! This momma might be in a bit of denial that you aren’t my tiny baby anymore. Even though you are my second baby, you have definitely taught me how to be a momma in a whole new way. You taught me to listen to my momma gut when something isn’t right. You have taught me to fight for answers and pray harder then ever.
Andrew you are fierce and determined! You will not let anything stop you. Your sister might be bigger but you have no issues pulling her to the floor by her hair if it means getting your toy back. You will find a way to get to whatever you want. Even if it isn’t always the safest. There is a reason we call you Bamm Bamm.
You are brilliant! There is not a single gate, or baby proof tab or lock that you haven’t mastered. All it takes is one time of you watching and you know how to do it.
You are so loving! You have always been busy, but you are the first to always snuggle your momma. You still have yet to ever nap somewhere that isn’t in my arms and 99% of the time that is where you are all night too. You fall asleep with my lips on your forehead every single night. And it is secretly my favorite part of the day.
You have the best smile and the brightest eyes and we love you more than you know! Happy Birthday Sweet Boy!
I have said it before, but it is worth repeating – I am a truly blessed man.
Various Ramblings of a Nostalgic Italian 