A couple days ago, I posted about October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I explained that both my grandmother and mother passed away due to breast cancer. In the comments, my blogger friend, Dana (her blog is: https://regulargirldevos.com/) made a comment led to today’s photo.
Dana’s comment: Thank you for sharing this, Keith. I’m sorry about your mom and grandmother. I do enjoy reading about them when you share your pictures and memories.
This photo of my mom and my grandma (her mom) was taken in Florida. It was taken around 1989. My parents and I went with the high school band on their Florida trip. At the time, my grandmother had moved to Florida with my aunt. I’m not sure how close we were to where they lived, but she was able to meet up with us.
My buddy, Steve, also joined us on this trip. We were “chaperones” believe it or not. We had both graduated and we went off doing our own thing while we were there. I didn’t spend much time with the family on the trip. That, however, is just a small part of a lot of regret.
When my grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was an unruly teen who was doing teen things. It seemed like my buddies and I always had something going on. So, I didn’t see much of my grandma. Naturally I had heard things about cancer, but I guess I thought if I didn’t think about it, it wouldn’t bother me. To a degree, that was true.
I rarely appeared at family functions because I wanted to hang with my friends instead. I don’t recall what the family function was, but my mother had taken pictures at it. When she got the photos back from the store (yes, kids, we often had to wait to see our pictures), she was going through them. There was a photo of my grandmother that shocked me.
She looked so thin and pale. I don’t even know how much chemotherapy she had been through at this time, but it obviously took a toll. She wore a terrycloth hat over her head, which was like a beret. She had lost most of her hair at that time. She was wearing what looked like a blue robe. In that photo, my grandma did not look like my grandma. That photo sealed the deal – I did not want to see my grandma that way. I didn’t see her until after she passed away.
When I think back to the time I could have spent with her, I kick myself. It was unfair to her. It was wrong of me. There were things that were not said that I would like to have shared with her. I missed way too much because I was in my own little world. It is one of my biggest regrets.
I will always remember her as she looked in the above photo.
Various Ramblings of a Nostalgic Italian 