Every once in a while I find a photo that makes me laugh more than it should. Here is an example.
I am guessing that this was at a wedding or a holiday party I was DJing. The black LED curtain behind me was something a friend let me experiment with. It was pretty cool, as you could program it to do a variety of things. I used it at many holiday parties and had it programmed to look like snowflakes were falling behind me.
I had a box of hats that I brought to every gig. The box started with the hats that the members of the Village People wore: cowboy hat, hard hat, biker hat, sailor hat, Indian head dress, and police hat. When I played YMCA, I’d get the groomsmen to line up in front of the DJ stand and each put on a hat. When the wedding parties started to get bigger, I needed additional hats. So in the box was a pilot hat, a baseball cap, football helmet, train engineer hat, and the pimp hat seen above.
I haven’t a clue why I have it on here, but the look on my face and the addition of the hat just make me laugh out loud. I hope it made you chuckle a bit, too.
18 years ago today, I became a father for a second time, when my son, Dimitri, was born. It is truly amazing to watch them grow from this…..
….to this….
“Don’t Blink” they say. True words.
He was always a bit more athletic than my oldest son. He loved to play T-ball, and I got to be his coach.
In high school, he took an interest in golf, and I loved being able to get out and shoot 18 holes with him.
There was never a dull moment when he was around. I was DJing an event one time, and had some music programmed ahead of time. I had left the stage for a minute to give out prizes and when I returned he had donned my headphones, put on some gold shades, and was acting like he was spinning tunes!
After my wife and I got back from Florida (and getting married), the first day back and went and watched him in his first play. He was actually very good and even sang on stage.
18 years have flown by, son. I know that life hasn’t always been easy, but I want you to know that no matter what, I love you. I am behind you 100%. If you need to talk about anything, you can come to me and I will listen without judgement. I can promise you that I will always be here for you.
You are officially an adult today. As you begin this new phase of your life, remember that the world is good at throwing you curveballs. Keep your eyes forward. Get up when you are knocked down. Never let emotions influence a decision. Forgive. Love. Be YOU.
Sam pointed out to me that next to Christmas, the day of the Daddy Daughter Dance is what our daughter looks forward to most. She is SO right. We’ve been counting down the days since Christmas!
Thanks to the steroids that the doctor put me on, I packed on a few more pounds than I anticipated. So, I had to alter my outfit at the last minute. Ella, of course, noticed. She asked, “Aren’t you going to wear a tie tonight, daddy?” I told her this year I wanted to be different, and she was ok with that lame excuse.
She looked just beautiful. What an honor to be escorting her to the dance.
We arrived early, and she insisted that she wanted to go inside. I told her we were 30 minutes early and the door was probably locked. She made me get out of the car and try the door, which was open. LOL. We went upstairs to get the professional photo taken, then headed to the gym.
The DJ was already playing music. He was one of those “gotta mix the songs at the same beat guys.” I’ve never been that way. I always felt it sounded weird when two songs were playing at the same time for 30 seconds. Ella didn’t notice and started to dance, even though she was one of four girls in the gym.
The theme this year was Barbie. So we had to get a photo with Ken and Barbie.
They also had a Barbie car for us. Naturally, I let Ella drive….
I think we just avoided hitting a roadrunner on that trip!
One of the projects that we could do together was to “bedazzle” some sunglasses. We made a pair for each of us. She said she wanted to make glasses for her brother and for her mom, so we went back later and did that.
She requested Let It Go from Frozen and we got to dance to that again. Three years in a row, that has been our first dance together. A while later, she was sitting drinking water and they played My Girl by the Temptations. I said, “Oh, Daddy loves this song!” She set her water bottle down and said, “Then we have to dance to it!” I picked her up and swayed with her, singing it to her. She was all smiles.
Not too long ago, on my Music of My Life feature, I mentioned how the song Daughters by John Mayer took on a new meaning when I became “girl dad.” Well, that new meaning went a lot deeper last night. This will forever be one of the best moments of my life:
When Daughters started to play, we were still swaying. She put her arms around my neck and leaned her head against mine. I reached up and wrapped my arm around her. For 4 minutes, it was just her and me. I swayed with my eyes closed, holding back tears. It was the most amazing dance. I was lost in my thoughts, too.
I know that as a 54 year old man, I may not be around when she gets married. We may never get the chance to have THAT Daddy/Daughter dance. So I treasure the ones we do get, and that one was extra special!
Every year, we take pre-dance pictures. It is amazing to compare them and see how much she has grown. This year’s was eye opening. In the first one, she still has that “baby” look to her. She would have been three for that dance. My beard gets more grey in them, too. The photos are a reminder of just how fast time goes by and how every moment is important.
Ella, thank you for spending such an amazing evening with me. Every day my love for you grows. I am already looking forward to next year’s dance. I love you forever!
For today’s Friday Photo Flashback, I want to share one of my favorite pictures of my dad. I asked my dad about his age in this picture and he told me he was 15.
I love this photo so much. ALll my life, my dad has never been without a guitar. He was always playing it growing up. I know that he played it growing up and eventually played it in wedding bands.
Check out those cheesy tuxes!
I have fond memories of him listening to current hits trying to figure out the chords or solos. One that sticks out, I have mentioned a few times. Watching him figure out the intro to The Breakup Song by the Greg Khin Band was mesmerizing. I loved every second of it.
There were times when my dad would need a drummer to fill in at a gig. It was often my Godfather and Uncle Tom who would be there. Those two together were always a blast, so I can only imagine those gigs. I actually found a photo of my Uncle Tom with my dad at a wedding.
After his band broke up, he joined another band and began to play bass guitar. I guess he would occasionally play lead guitar, but not often. The instrumentation was different in that band and it had a great sound.
When I graduated in 1988, my dad gathered together some of the old band members. Without rehearsal, they played music for my graduation party. It was a jam session for them all. When my uncle wasn’t playing drums, he would sing. My cousins would fill in on drums and guitar.
You can see how much fun they were having in that first picture.
When DJ’s sort of took the wedding band’s job, my dad started spinning records at the VFW. My Uncle, who was also a veteran, would come up and hang out. Those nights always consisted of loud laughter.
I shared theae pictures today because today is my dad’s 78th birthday. I truly hit the jackpot to get him as my father. He has been a great supporter of me throughout the many years of my life. He has influenced me musically in more ways than I can count. Not to mention the introduction to classic movies and TV shows. He is a hero to me.
I am so lucky to still have him in my life. I love when we get to be together, and love that when we can’t, there is video chat.
Thanks, Dad, for simply being you. Thank you for all you’ve done for me. I wish you the happiest birthday, yet. I love you, Pop.
This weekend was just wonderful! My Goddaughter and her fiancé got married on Saturday. I was honored to be able to DJ the wedding for them.
Before I tell you more, I want to give a little backstory. Just after we rang in the year 2020, and before Covid closed everything, I blogged about my Goddaughter and her mom. I think in order to fully understand what I was feeling this weekend, it is worth revisiting:
January 1, 2020
Today, we met one of my oldest and dearest friends for lunch. Margaret and I have been friends since junior high. We are both Italian. My folks loved her, and her folks loved me. I think they probably both thought that we would date or something, but that never happened. We both went to a few dances together, but that was about as close to “dating” as it got. We were just really good friends and that made us both happy. We were officers in band together, we dressed up as twins for Twin Day, she and I both took a senior picture together, and spent many hours on the phone. She was/is one of my best friends!
When her daughter, Marissa, was born she asked me to be her Godfather. I was honored to do it. A Godfather is a very important role for an Italian. When I got married the first time, sadly, I saw less and less of Margaret and my Goddaughter. Whenever I was supposed to get together with them, I was always informed that we couldn’t go or we had something to do with my ex’s family. (If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you are well aware of the narcissism that I dealt with and how miserable my life had become.)
After the divorce, Margaret was one of the first to reach out to me. She completely understood what was going on. Her forgiveness meant everything to me. I hurt her. I was hurt, too. I lost many years of our friendship, and I lost so many moments with my Goddaughter. After all of that, Margaret (and many other friends) had every right to just stop talking to me, but our friendship meant so much, that we have picked up where we left off.
When I attended my Goddaughter’s 21st birthday party, I pulled her aside and apologized for missing so many important things in her life. How do you explain that to someone? As I looked back on the past, my stomach was in knots. I was sickened to think of how I must have made so many people feel. She didn’t bat an eye, however, and told me she loved me and we all enjoyed a great evening! I remember driving home from her party crying my eyes out. It wasn’t fair to her that I missed so many things. It makes me angry to know that I missed so much, but I am also happy that I can try to make up for lost time with her!
Sam and I were going to see what Margaret and her husband, Walt, were doing on New Year’s Eve and found out she was working that night. So they met us at one of the nearby bars for lunch on New Year’s Day. We enjoyed some amazing burgers, and enjoyed good conversation. There is always a lot of laughter when we get together, story telling with wild hand gestures (it is the Italian in us!) and usually some profanity! It was truly a wonderful afternoon. We hope to be able to do it more often!
During lunch, Margaret said something that struck a chord. It was something that made me sad, and happy at the same time. She said, “I have seen you more and talked to you more in the past two years, that the entire time you were married.” This made me sad, because of what I touched on early – a great friendship almost destroyed as well as the relationship between my Goddaughter and me, all because of the stupidity of someone else. It made me happy to know that our friendship remains and will grow even stronger in the years ahead.
Shortly After That
My daughter Ella was born just over a month later. Margaret and Walt made the drive up to the hospital that night with Olive Garden dinners for Sam and me, and also a ton of soup and breadsticks for the hospital staff on our floor!
Ella loves her Aunt Margaret. Margaret has shown so much love to her and Andrew. Ella thanks God for her every night when she prays. Margaret refers to them as “my babies!” Thanks to technology, they love being able to video chat with her anytime!
Last week, Margaret and I got into one of those deep conversations. The years I missed came up. The deep regret that I hate thinking about . The “What Ifs” and such. We had been talking about my kids. She told me that she had always wanted to do that for my older boys, too! Thanks to my ex, that was never to be. All the hurt I felt about missing time with Marissa and I never really realized just how much hurt Margaret felt about missing time with my boys.
Sigh. On to happier stuff….
September 23, 2023
Saturday, I arrived at the breathtaking tree farm where the wedding was to be held. The first person I saw was the groom to be, Connor. He’s a great guy and I know that he is going to be a great husband. I asked him if he was nervous, and he said he was. Marissa and Connor have been together for 7 years. They are perfect together. I don’t remember what I told him, but I assured him all would go well.
When Marissa arrived, they shuffled Connor into the lodge area so he couldn’t see her. She came over and embraced me for a hug. She didn’t even have her dress on yet, and she was just stunning. We talked a briefly and then she was off to get ready.
I saw Margaret out in front of the lodge as I parked my father-in-law’s truck (which he let me borrow so I could fit everything in it!). She was busy putting out fires on the cell phone and with people at the venue.
It didn’t take me too long to get set up. It was hot, so I was glad I hadn’t arrived in my suit. I went to change and by then, we were about an hour and a half away from the ceremony. The families all came out and the photographers got pictures done before the ceremony, which you don’t see too often. But I get it, the sun was perfect and I know that they got some amazing pictures. I, however, only got two. One of Margaret and me, and the other with Marissa.
The ceremony was just wonderful. I was sitting next to Chris, a mutual friend of Margaret and me. She asked if I was going to need a tissue. I told her probably, but I passed her back the tissue pack. Once Marissa and her dad began walking down the aisle, I could feel those tears well up.
Their officiant knew both of them very well and shared some very funny stories. At the same time, he was very professional. Marissa and Connor each wrote their own vows. They read like a love story. Wow, the looks that they gave each other throughout the ceremony and the sharing of their vows….. It was a powerful example of true love. Again, I held back tears.
I’ve DJ’s many weddings, but this was the first where a grand entrance was timed down to the second! They entered to Natalie Cole’s This Will Be (An Everlasting Love). I had a cue sheet with the time and the lyrics along with the couples that were entering at that time. They had it timed perfectly.
After the grand entrance, Marissa and Connor had put together a dance for their first song. It was such a joy to watch these two execute their moves to perfection. I was glad that a little hiccup that could have meant me not having their song was an easy fix. In all my years doing weddings, this was only the third time the bride and groom had choreographed their first dance. It was beautiful.
It was after this that I saw Margaret become “that Italian mom.” Let me explain. No one had filled the glasses of the head table and when we went to do toasts, there was nothing to toast! They decided to let people eat and they would toast during dinner while someone filled glasses. That someone – was Margaret. She came busting out of the lodge with bottle of wine in each hand. She walked to every person with an empty glass and asked, “White or red?”
She was the first table called to eat after the head table. Yet, she was like the last in line to eat! I had to tell her to get a plate. She naturally swore at me and moved through the buffet line.
Toasts from the Best Man, Maid of Honor, and the fathers of both the Bride and Groom followed. The Best Man impressed me with a perfect line. He stated that he and Connor had been best friends forever. He stated that he was happy to give up that title, because Marissa would now forever be his best friend. Good stuff!
After dinner, Marissa danced with her dad and Connor danced with his mom. Then the dance floor opened for the night. Music was not an issue, as they had given me plenty of songs to choose from. There is never enough time to get through the entire list. There were plenty of requests and the crowd seemed to be having a good time.
I naturally brought out the groom and the groomsmen, who had no idea why I called them out to the floor. I passed out a cowboy hat, and Indian head dress, a policeman’s hat, a sailor hat, and a biker hat. I led them through some silly moves and we did the YMCA together. This is always silly and they guys had fun. I even got to embarrass myself as I walked through the crown lip synching “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis with my terrible Elvis wig.
There were so many things from the evening that I will remember, but the one thing that will stick with me forever is just how beautiful Marissa looked.
I am so happy for her. I am excited to hear about all the things that are ahead for her and Connor. Random thought: Is he now my Godson-in-law? I’d be ok with that.
On my hour drive home, there was a lot of time to think about the day. I smiled again as I recalled the vows, the first dance, the last dance, and more. I had to pull over when the sadness crept in with the memory of the lost time with her. I had to remind myself that that is all in the past, and there will be more happy days ahead. Plenty of happy days, I am sure of it!
Congratulations to Marissa and Connor. Your love for each other will carry you through the tough storms … and God will get you through the rest!
“What feels like the end is often the beginning …”
I will be the first to admit that this blog is more appropriate for the end of the year. However, with the events of the past few days (which I will elaborate on in a future blog), it weighed on me to write these thoughts down.
2020 brought many things to an end. Sadly, the one thing that didn’t go away was Covid-19. The virus has forced many local and small businesses to shutter their doors forever. The virus cut short the lives of many Americans and people all around the world. It has also put many things in jeopardy of disappearing forever – going to a movie, free samples, touch screens in public, buffets, and even shaking hands.
While not official, I am pretty confident in saying that 2020 has forced the end of my radio career. Stations have their DJ’s broadcasting from home live or recording shows from home. I enjoyed doing it part time and it allowed me access to studios to do any free lance voice work that might some my way. I am sure that if I needed a studio, I could call and get into one (thanks to a few friends). I don’t do enough of it to warrant buying equipment to set up a studio at home. I have come to terms with this and will always look back on my days in radio fondly. I’m a pretty lucky guy to have worked with so many great people.
I am also sure that I am officially retiring from DJing parties and weddings. The equipment has become too heavy for me to lug in and out. The money people are willing to pay is much less than it used to be, and it has stopped being fun for me. There are some events that I would probably still enjoy doing, but those are the low paying gigs. At one time, I really enjoyed doing it, but it has become more like work.
With the end of things, come new beginnings. One up side of not working at the radio station on weekends is time with my kids and my family. Over the past few months, I have watched my daughter accomplish some firsts – and I am glad I didn’t have to miss them because I was working.
There was a time when I was working full time, working part time in radio, and doing DJ stuff on the side. I was never home. That may or may not have been intentional due to my home situation at the time. However, over the past 4 years, my life has changed drastically for the better. I like being home. I love being with my wife, my daughter, and my sons. I cannot wait to be home with them, even if it is just to sit on the couch and watch TV!
So as 2021 approaches, you and I are faced with 365 blank pages to write as we wish ….
I’m sure that the new year will bring challenges, especially since we will still be dealing with Covid-19, political unrest, division, and hatred. But with each blank page – we can make a choice to be positive, be happy, enjoy every minute, and count every blessing.
I have to admit that I almost picked a Ringo Starr song today, because of his birthday this week. I didn’t because I really couldn’t decided whether to pick a solo song or some of his Beatles stuff. I am guessing that’s a future blog – I’ll add it to my “blog topics” list. Instead, the picture below was posted on Facebook this week and prompted the songs I am writing about.
I’ll be the first to admit that I did my share of recording songs off the radio. I cannot remember how old I was when I got my first “boom box.” I do remember getting it for a birthday gift. I remember buying tons of cassette tapes to record songs on, and I spent many hours listening for my favorite songs.
Not knowing that I would eventually become a radio DJ, I remember how difficult it was to record a song without the DJ talking over the intro. You would hope to catch the song coming out of a jingle or sweeper – that was usually a good way to catch it with a “talk free” intro. Guys like me got pretty good at timing and using the pause button.
I can distinctly remember being the listener that would eventually drive me crazy! I spent many hours calling up the radio station asking for songs. When I didn’t hear them, I would call back and ask again. Of course I didn’t know how radio worked and that with each call, I was just pissing off the DJ! The more you call, the more likely the DJ will NOT play your song! I also did the “kid disguising my voice to sound like an adult” thing, which every DJ can hear immediately! (You’re not fooling us, kids!)
At any rate, there are two songs that I can distinctly remember trying to record on tape. (Let me interject here that I am sure I had my paper route at this time, and why I just didn’t go buy the record is beyond me). I guess I remember these two in particular, because I have two specific memories to accompany the songs. On to song #1:
Queen – Crazy Little Thing Called Love
I remember calling over and over to ask for this song. I remember I was in elementary school and my friend Billy used to get his mom to give us a ride home. This song always seemed to play on our ride home (I know this probably was not the case now, knowing how music is scheduled and such). I remember us both asking his mom to turn up the radio when it played.
The story goes that Freddie Mercury wrote this while the band was touring in Germany. He wrote it on an acoustic guitar and it didn’t take him long to do it. He said it “took me five or ten minutes. I did that on the guitar, which I can’t play for nuts, and in one way it was quite a good thing because I was restricted, knowing only a few chords. It’s a good discipline because I simply had to write within a small framework. I couldn’t work through too many chords and because of that restriction I wrote a good song, I think.”
Some sources say he wrote it as a tribute to Elvis. Roger Taylor said he wrote it while lounging in a bath at a hotel during one of their extensive Munich recording sessions. Some stories say that Freddie also played the original guitar solo, but it was lost and Brian May then played it for the single (Not sure how true this is). Brian played the solo on a Telecaster guitar (Perhaps to make it sound like an older song. Many artists played Telecasters). Brian, however, didn’t really care for the Telecaster and when playing the song live, he’d play the solo on it, and go back to his favorite guitar (his Red Special).
One of my favorite parts of the song is when the bass guitar has its solo moment toward the end.
This thing called love
I just can’t handle it
This thing called love
I must get round to it
I ain’t ready
Crazy little thing called love
This thing (this thing) called love (called love)
It cries (like a baby) in a cradle all night
It swings (ooh, ooh), it jives (ooh, ooh)
It shakes all over like a jelly fish,
I kinda like it
Crazy little thing called love
There goes my baby
She knows how to rock-n-roll
She drives me crazy
She gives me hot and cold fever
She leaves me in a cool, cool sweat
I gotta be cool, relax, get hip
Get on my tracks
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motorbike
Until I’m ready
Crazy little thing called love
I gotta be cool, relax, get hip
And get on my tracks
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motorbike
Until I’m ready (Ready Freddie)
Crazy little thing called love
This thing called love
I just can’t handle it
This thing called love
I must get round to it
I ain’t ready
Crazy little thing called love [repeat to fade]
The second song I have a distinct memory of is from ELO.
ELO – Rock and Roll is King
The reason why I remember recording this song off the radio is simple – I screwed it up the first time I tried to record it! It has what we call in the radio biz a “fake cold.” A cold ending is when a song doesn’t fade out, it just stops. This song has a point before the last line, where the song stops….there is silence….and then the band comes back for the final line and the real cold ending. I remember it because when the fake cold happens, I hit the pause button on my cassette player and messed up the recording because I missed the end of the song!
The song could be found on ELO’s 1983 album Secret Messages. I read an article that said the song was originally called something else and had an entirely different set of lyrics before it was re-worked. The song reminds me a bit of their 1981 hit “Hold on Tight,” as it has the same sort of feel to it. The song only made it to #19 on the charts in the US. This was one of the first songs I heard from ELO, and it made me start picking up more of their stuff. I really thought it was cool how they used string instruments in their songs.
“Rock ‘N’ Roll Is King”
Listen everybody let me tell you ’bout the rock ‘n’ roll
Feel that rhythm and it’s really gonna thrill your soul
She said come along with me, to a land of make believe
She said wamalamalamalama rock ‘n’ roll is king
She loves that rock ‘n’ roll and she plays it all night long
That’s all she ever tells me when I call her on the telephone
She says feel that jumpin’ beat, and git up on your feet
She says wamalamalamalama rock ‘n’ roll is king
[Chorus:]
Oh let those guitars play
Play for me play for me
Oh let that song ring out
That’s how it’s meant to be
It rolls like a train that’s comin’ on down the track
She rolled over Beethoven and she gave Tchaikovsky back
She loves that drivin’ beat, she goes dancin’ on down the street
She said wamalamalamalama rock ‘n’ roll is king
[Chorus]
When she comes around and I’m listenin’ to the radio
She says you can’t do that ’cause all I wanna do is rock ‘n’ roll
Now here I’m gonna stay where that music starts to play
She says wamalamalamalama rock ‘n’ roll is king
Jeff Lynne wrote the song and I love the line “She rolled over Beethoven and she gave Tchaikovsky back.” It is obviously a nod to Chuck Berry’s Roll Over Beethoven (which ELO covered, and is awesome!).
Jeff, continues to tour with his current version of ELO, and also was a member of the Traveling Wilburys with George Harrison, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, and Roy Orbison.
Various Ramblings of a Nostalgic Italian 