Tune Tuesday – Lou Monte

As the Nostalgic Italian, it only makes sense to feature one of the great Italian American singers on his birthday – Lou Monte. Many people will have no idea who he is until you mention the Christmas song Dominick the Donkey. Yep, he sang that one. Personally, it saddens me that he will be remembered for that one more than his other hits.

Musician Lou Monte recording at a Reprise Recording Session on October 30, 1961 in New York. (Photo by PoPsie Randolph/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)

Much of this is taken and adapted from the biography at his official website loumonte.com.

Lou Monte was born as Louis Scaglione today in 1917 He was born in Manhattan, New York. He played the guitar and started singing as a child beginning his professional career as a singer, comedian, and musician as a young man just prior to World War II. After a stretch in the military, Monte settled in Lyndhurst, New Jersey and his first real break came when he had a radio show in Newark, New Jersey. Eventually, Monte was given a television program on that same popular station, WAAT.

Entertainment journalist June Bundy notes, “although Lou had been singing professionally for fifteen years, it wasn’t until he recorded an Italian-English version of “Darktown Strutter’s Ball” at the end of 1953, that he hit the big time.” After that, his records, both comedic and not, sold in the millions. He appeared regularly at many famous nightclubs and, unlike most Italian-American comedians of the era, he was seen frequently on national T.V. At the pinnacle of his popularity, he was promoted in various press releases as “The Godfather of Italian Humor” and “The King of Italian-American Music.”

Here is the 1953 song that Bundy mentions:

The medium of most of Lou Monte’s comedy is song, although his extensive and impressive night club act also contained a good deal of stand- up. Many of his songs were sung, and nightclub acts performed, in English with a liberal interspersing of Italian dialect (of Neapolitan and Calabrian). As one commentator has noted, “He translates American music into Italian and Italian music into English.” As was stated in a past nightclub review, Monte’s “songalog is heavily laden with pizza pieces, including Italo verses of his American numbers with emphasis generally on comedy tunes.” Monte’s appeal to the Italian-American audience can be understood in both emotional and social terms. Emotionally, his humor provided some Italian Americans with a sense of comfort, of one-upmanship, or the sense of being a part of an inside joke, and, socially, of having a slice of their world recognized by others. His appeal to other ethnic groups was based upon their perception that his humor related to their own experiences in associating to American society.

An important theme in Monte’s Italian-American humor is his tendency to Italian-Americanize American history and life. Such a technique served this marginal ethnic group by making it feel a part of America’s early historical development. It also served to heighten a sense of in-group solidarity by the ludicrous layering of Italianicity on things supposedly rock-solid Anglo-Saxon. In one song, he asks the question, “What did Washington say when crossing the Delaware?” The answer: “Fa un’fridd! (It’s cold!).” This bit is a take-off on a joke which was popular in the Italian- American community, although Monte sanitized the coarser punch line.” In this way, he played to the Italian-American audience, knowing its members would enjoy and relate to the reference.” In another example, according to Monte, the name of Paul Revere’s horse was Baccigallup. The hit song, “Please Mr. Columbus” offers yet another of Monte’s unique historical interpretations.

I love Please, Mr. Columbus! I’ve seen many men’s vocal groups perform this on stage, but the song loses something when you lose the “Italian” in it.

A lot of Lou’s music dealt with the common themes of marriage, courtship, sexual relationships, and food. In his food song, “My Rosina – The Menu Song,” the lyrics include: “She is so good looking when she is cooking, what a beautiful sight among the pots and pans.” In collaboration with Ray Allen, Monte wrote, “Who Stole My Provolone?” (sung to the tune of “Hang Down Your Head Tom Dooley”) a song parody, making use of the double entendre. Originally, my thought was just to post one song, neither of which I have mentioned yet, but as I read through the biography, I thought I would share the above songs, too.

The song I originally wanted to feature is a song that means a lot to me. When I got married the first time, I wanted to be sure to share a dance with my Italian grandmother. Looking back, I probably should have picked a Dean Martin song, as she loved him, however, I wanted to have some fun. So I chose an Italian Tarantella that was popular at weddings (and is even featured in the wedding scene in the film The Godfather) – Lazy Mary.

The song is a remake of the Italian song “Luna Mezzo Mare.” It tells the tale of a conversation between a young woman who wishes to be married, and her mother. The somewhat risque song mixes English and Italian verses. The two use double entendre to compare the occupations with the sexual appetites of the various suitors. The song goes back to the mid-1800s and the lyrics got a bit raunchier by the end of the century.

Monte’s 1958 version of the song peaked at number 12 on the U.S Pop Singles chart. Believe it or not, it was banned initially by British radio because of the innuendos in the song. That obviously doesn’t bother Americans, as the song has played during the seventh inning stretch at almost every New York Mets home game since the mid-1990s.

Unlike most Italian-American comedians of his time, Lou Monte received much national television exposure on such programs as the Perry Como Show and The Ernie Kovacs Show. Monte’s records sold in the millions. As a matter of fact, Reprise records had its first smash hit with Monte’s “Peppino The Italian Mouse” recording. Monte also made appearances at prominent feasts and festivals it is said that had a role in the comedy hit film, “Robin and the Seven Hoods” (1964), although I cannot find proof of that.

Lou Monte died in Pompano Beach, Florida in June of 1989. The Nostalgic Italian wishes Lou Monte a happy heavenly birthday!!

Christmas Songs I Can Do Without

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In order for my Christmas season to be “official”, I have to hear Bobby Helms “Jingle Bell Rock” in its entirety on the radio.  I’m not sure why, it just has always been the song that I have associated with the holiday.  Perhaps it was one of those songs that I remember hearing on the radio as a kid, I really don’t know.  I just know that it is the song that says “It’s Christmas time, Keith.”

Let me say this:  I love Christmas music.  As a DJ, I have played countless Christmas parties and have a huge tub of Christmas CD’s.  I have a huge variety of various formats:  Country Christmas songs, Pop Christmas songs, Novelty Christmas songs, and more. One of the radio stations I work for is actually playing all Christmas music right now and I enjoy doing an on air shift there.  All that being said, there are certain Christmas songs that I can do without!  Today’s short blog is a commentary about some of those songs.

Please Stop Playing These

  • “I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas” – I don’t care whether this is the original version or one of the countless remakes.  This song is just plain annoying.  This song makes me want to drive off the road when I hear it.  I cannot change the station fast enough when it comes on.  I have yet to understand what is so appealing about this song!
  • ANYTHING by the Mannheim Steamroller.  While I do appreciate improvisational music, there is nothing about their music that I find entertaining or worth listening to.  Let’s face it, the synthesizer died in the 80’s …. let’s put these songs to bed, too.
  • “Jingle Bells” by the Singing Dogs.  While we are at it, let’s add any Christmas songs done by cats, rabbits, ducks, ferrets, owls, pigs, or any other “musical animal”!  Stop it!  These awful songs deserve no place on the radio.
  • “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” – It sucked when it first came out.  I continues to suck.  Why is ok to play this song, in which grandma is MURDERED by Santa’s sleigh, but people are offended by a song that was recorded YEARS before the phrase “date rape” was even uttered claiming that is what the song is about (“Baby, It’s Cold Outside” for those unaware of that controversy)?
  • “Mistletoe” by Justin Beiber.  – It’s friggin’ Justin Beiber.  That is reason enough!
  • Jingle Bell Rock by Hall and Oates. As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, the original is a classic and a must hear for me.  I am not sure what it is about this version that makes me want to throw the radio out the window.  It is awful!  Perhaps it is just my love for the original that makes me hate this one so much, but probably not, as there are other versions of it that I like.  To me, it’s like listening to cats puking…..hell, I’d actually rather listen to that, than to listen to this.
  • Christmas Wrapping – The Singing Waitresses.  What the hell is this?  I understand that the Spice Girls recorded this too and I can’t imagine their version being any better.  This is probably the biggest waste of 3 minutes ever (with the exception of all Justin Beiber music).  This song is in a “hot” rotation on Sirius XM’s Holly channel.  This song needs to be go away forever!  I want to wrap it up in toilet paper and flush it away!
  • It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – Andy Williams.  It’s the most overplayed song of the season!!  I don’t mind hearing it every so often, but every 20 minutes is a bit much.
  • I am a HUGE Beatles fan – but I have to admit that “Happy Christmas” by John Lennon and “Wonderful Christmastime” are, outside of the previously mentioned Andy Williams song, played to death.  Yoko Ono singing on “Happy Christmas” is like fingernails on the chalkboard!  God!  Who ever told her she could sing – John, must have.  As for Sir Paul, he probably could never record again and live off the royalties from just that song they play it so much.  It’s not a bad song – neither of them are – they are just so overplayed!!!
  • ANYTHING by Pentatonix!!!  I LOVE acapella music!  I do.  When voices blend in good harmony, it is something amazing.  Check out Ricochet’s “Let It Snow” – it’s awesome!  I am not sure if the Pentatonix stuff is just overproduced, but it just sounds wrong to me.  Take the song Hallelujah…Rufus Wainwright’s version is perfect.  This version doesn’t sound right from the first note.  I guess this album is the “new” Bing Crosby album, as stores can’t seem to keep it in stock.  Personally, I’ll pass.
  • Dominick, the Donkey.  As an Italian, I am embarrassed by this song.  Lou Monte is one of the great Italian singers.  His song Lazy Mary was a hit and I danced with my grandmother to it at my first wedding.  Sadly, more people know Lou because of this piece of crap, than his hits!  Jingity jing….URGH!  Do the entire Italian community a favor and don’t ever play this again!!!

These are just a few of the songs that drive me insane.  I am sure if I sat and thought about it more, or just turned on the radio, I could list countless others.  For now, I will let you add to this list.  What Christmas songs do YOU hate and why?  I look forward to reading your responses.