My Father’s Day Weekend

Father’s Day began for me on Saturday morning. We celebrated Saturday because Sam had to work on Sunday.

When I returned home from work, my kids were already up and waiting. Sam had texted me that Ella was anxious for me to come home to get my present. Ella was excited because she had seen something in the store and wanted to get it for me weeks ago. Same ordered it online so it would be here for Father’s Day.

Ella and Andrew got to play with markers (which only happens on special occasions) and decorate the gift bag my gifts would be in. She was so happy to hand me the bag.

She waited for me to reach into the bag and could hardly contain herself. When I pulled out her gift to me, she shrieked with excitement! It was really the perfect gift.

We watch Bluey together all the time. It is probably my favorite cartoon that she watches. Bandit, the dad on the show, is what ALL dad’s should be! He’s awesome. This book is just wonderful. We read it before bed last night. I don’t know who was happier about this book – Ella or me!

Andrew got some help from mommy with his gift. As I have mentioned, I’m an older dad. One of the reasons I started this blog was to write my memories and such so that in the event something happens, the memories are here. Sam took it a step further for Andrews’s gift to me.

I’m not sure who came up with the idea for books like this, but they are great. I had originally gotten one of these for my mom to fill out before she passed. She was just too sick and too tired to ever really do it. I wish she’d been able to do that.

At any rate, there are a lot of thought provoking questions in this book and Sam thought I could take it with me to work and fill it in when I was on breaks and such. I love the idea!

After nap time, the family drove up the road to look for some new pajamas for Ella. She’s starting to not fit in her current ones. We went to the Carter’s store and looked around. She was forever handing Sam and I things for Andrew or herself that she found on a rack somewhere. The funniest thing of the trip was a foreshadowing of Ella in her teen and adult years. She kept asking for shoes and even began to make a pile of ones she wanted!

After our shopping trip we came home and made dinner. I didn’t want Sam to have to take me out anywhere, so we made chicken on the grill. We also made corn on the cob and other sides. It was the perfect way to wrap up the day.

I was out grilling the chicken and I was using a brush to put BBQ sauce on a few of the pieces of chicken.

As I am doing this, Ella is standing there watching me. She see’s me dipping the brush into the BBQ sauce and putting it on the chicken. She then says, “Daddy! You’re painting!” Priceless!

Sam kept telling Ella to say, “Happy Father’s Day” to me and it kept coming out “Happy Mother’s Day” which just made me laugh even more.

On Sunday, or “Father’s Day in real life,” as Bluey might say, we had a wonderful breakfast. I made everyone eggs, sausage, and fruit. Ella stated that it was “Deeee-lish-ous!”

We called my dad to wish him Happy Father’s Day. My oldest son called me to wish me the same. Sadly, I never heard from my second oldest son. That’s a whole blog in itself and I will spare you those details for now.

After Andrew’s nap, I decided to take the kids to the Barnes and Noble. I wasn’t sure that there was anything I wanted for myself, but I though we could pick up some new books for them.

While we were walking Ella and I were just talking. Andrew was in the stroller and Ella was walking next to me. I don’t remember what we were saying, but a woman stopped me and said that she wished she had videoed the exchange we were having. She said she was very impressed with how we were interacting. She reminded me of a teacher or something. Ella then said hello, grabbed a puzzle with dogs on the box and showed the lady.

The lady, without skipping a beat, got down on the ground and they counted dogs together, asked about the colors of the dogs, and talked about what “doggies say.” It was so cool to see. She thanked Ella for showing her and Ella put the puzzle back. The lady was so impressed with how polite Ella was. Proud parent moment.

After we got home, we had lunch. Sam took Andrew into our room when it was his nap time. Sam suggested that since one of the local ice cream places had free cones for dads on Father’s day, we should go. We wound up going somewhere a bit closer, but it still worked out because dads got a free scoop of ice cream there, too!

Ice cream is not exactly on Weight Watchers, but I had some anyway and ate carefully the rest of the day. Ella asked for “white ice cream with sprinkles” and that is what she got!

Dad may or may not have had to help her on occasion because it was melting faster than she could eat it!

She talked to everyone who came to the ice cream place! She recommended getting banana ice cream to many, even though she was eating vanilla. She was a real hoot. The owner came out and asked how her ice cream was and she said it was the “best ice cream ever!”

After the ice cream, dad decided to walk the neighborhood. Sunday, she didn’t want to ride in the stroller. So we walked together. The workout was a bit less intense than I had hoped.

About half way through the walk she tripped and skinned her knee pretty bad. So I wound up picking her up and finishing the walk with her on my shoulders. That brought the heart rate up a bit and I probably burned off about half of the ice cream calories!

When Sam left for work, it was just me and the kids. We were playing on the “nugget” and having a blast. Andrew was climbing up like nobody’s business. Once he was on the top, he would start to walk off it. Most of the time, I was there to catch him. There were a couple times where he’d do this little stuntman fall. He is fearless!

Thank you to my wife and my kids for making the weekend such a special one for me!

Mixed Emotions

If I had to describe today with emoji’s, I’d need a lot of them!

Exhaustion – Tuesdays are always difficult. I get very little sleep before having to come into work for the night. I do the best I can to nap when the kids are napping, but things just never seems to line up where we all sleep at the same time.

Confident – Recently I was presented with an opportunity that peaked my interest. It was one of those things that I really wasn’t searching for, but I looked at it very carefully. After much discussion and weighing all the pros and cons, I made a decision that I feel is best.

Afraid – At the same time, looking on the horizon, there is something I stumbled on that has positives and negatives. I took a leap of faith today. It would be a HUGE change. It has been something that has been on the back burner for some time. Whether or not anything comes of it is yet to be seen. If it does, there are some big things to think about and consider.

Angry – Annoyed – Exasperated – Done – One phone call can bring about so many emotions. How many times can the same things be rehashed? When do you just say “Forget it? I’m done?” An hour and 20 minutes of being on speaker phone being accused, judged, called every profane name imaginable, and treated like a piece of crap is not exactly how I want to spend my time. Once you apologize for something, you shouldn’t be expected to keep apologizing for it over and over again. Especially when the other party has said they forgive you. My God, it was a vicious circle of things that are from years ago, yet here we are talking about it again! Enough is enough. If you can’t get past it, I don’t know what to tell you. Don’t feel sorry for me or my family, because quite frankly, we are fine! Please just let it go!

Dedicated – It is time for me to stop letting the outside BS affect me and my family. I am dedicated to being the best husband and father I can be to those who will let me. I have found happiness and NO ONE will take that away from me. I love my family more than I will ever be able to express here, and intend to keep it together. Leave your negativity at the door or better yet, keep it away. There is LOVE, tenderness, faith, and joy in my house! I intend to increase those feelings with every moment I am alive!

Sadness – With every day my kids continue to grow up. Ella will be two this week. I am having a very difficult time wrapping my head around that. Andrew will be 4 months old this week and it seems like time won’t slow down. Sam has often said to me that she feels when she is done with work for the week, she feels like the look older and are bigger. I feel the same way. Despite having gone through this with my two older sons, it feels like time is going by even faster than before.

I will end on a positive emotion:

Happiness – This week, Ella started saying, “I love you, too, Daddy.” and “I love you, too, Mommy” after we tell her that we love her. There is nothing that will melt your heart faster.

Earlier today, Andrew was laying on the floor and he was giggling. I snapped a picture of him and Ella immediately came over and laid next to him and said, “My turn, Daddy!” In an absolute amazing moment, she grabbed his hand and I snapped the picture.

THAT IS WHAT MATTERS! Those two amazing kids (and my beautiful and wonderful wife) are the source of my happiness. There is nothing but joy connected with them. There is no negativity. There is no hate. There are no grudges. There are no hidden motives. There is LOVE. There is JOY. There is HAPPINESS. There is DELIGHT. There is LAUGHTER.

This is what is important! THEY are what is important.

On my bad days, those two special kids remind me to focus on what really matters!

National Daughters Day 2021

I have been a father for almost 20 years now. It is a role that I do not take lightly. I have spent most of that time raising two amazing sons. Almost two years ago, I became a “Girl Dad” when my daughter was born.

Raising a daughter is VERY different from raising sons. For one thing, you “rough house” a little less. You are more careful about everything. It is totally a different way of parenting, sort of. The lessons you teach your daughter are a bit different than the ones you teach your sons. With boys, you teach them to become men. With girls, as a dad, you protect them. In a way, they learn a bit more from mom about how to become a woman.

I got a bit emotional on my way into work tonight as I thought about just how fast she is growing up. She’s not wearing so many “onsies” anymore. She’s now wearing T-shirts and blue jeans! And crocks! Sam bought her the cutest pair of crocks. When I came home this morning, she was dressed to go to the doctor for her ear surgery follow up. As I looked at her, she no longer was that little baby girl, she seemed to be 5 years old!

They say when you have kids, you begin to realize just how fast time flies, because they are always growing and before you know it, they are 18! I’ve witnessed this first hand with my boys, and now with my daughter. I see her pictures from just one year ago in my Facebook memories and think, “How was she ever that small?” and “When did she get so big?!” I feel like I am being cliché when I say that I wish I had a pause button to slow things down.

Today is National Daughters Day. As I sit here and think about how lucky I am to have Ella as my daughter, there are some things that I want written down. Things that I think it is important for her to know. So here goes:

I love you with all that I am!

I’m crazy about you, sweetheart! You have filled my life with more things that I can ever tell you. Each day I love you more and more. With each new thing you do, you give me another reason to love you.

I believe in you!

I know deep down that you will be an amazing young woman. You are smart. You are inquisitive. You don’t give up. You will make a difference in the world. I am behind you 100%!

I think you are beautiful.

Look at you! Your beauty, your smile and your laughter light up the room – and the world! You are beautiful inside and out. Use your beauty to share love and kindness.

You changed me.

Ella, the day you were born, my whole life changed. I felt things I never knew I would. Holding you for the first time, brought me to tears. They were happy tears! For nine months, your mommy and I prayed for you every day. We continue to do so. We wondered what you’d look like. We wondered about what your personality would be like. We wondered and speculated about so many things. You have exceeded all we could have ever imagined! All because of you, I love your mommy 100 times more than I ever thought I could. You have made me a better dad, a better husband, and a better man.

No matter what – you can ALWAYS come to me.

As you get older, you will have many questions. You will have to make difficult decisions. No matter what you are facing, you can trust me. You can tell me anything. Nothing that you are dealing with will ever make me stop loving you. Know that whatever you are going through, I will help you get through it. You can always talk to me and I will always be there to help you.

My sweet Ella, Happy Daughters Day! In closing, let me share some things that over the past year or so I have copied and hoped to maybe share in a scrapbook or a letter. Now is as good a time as any to put a couple of them in one place. I hope one day, you can read these words and know that they express the things your daddy just couldn’t put into words…..

A Father Loves a Daughter – Kristen Rose

A father loves a daughter
Like no other love on earth.
From the day that he first meets her
Nothing can compare her worth.

Forever are they bonded
With a love that never fails.
For always he will hug her
And kiss goodnight with fairy tales.

He will love her and protect her
With strong arms just in case
But will also hug her tenderly
With a fatherly embrace.

Eskimo kisses touch her nose
With a giggle and a squeeze
And that sparkle in her little eyes
Could bring him to his knees.

What more could any father want
Than a daughter so sweet and pure
There’s nothing in this world so rare
Of that he can be sure.

A father’s love is so unique
It cannot be replaced
He will always treasure times with her
And the memories embraced.

Daughter – Author unknown

A daughter is a wonderful blessing,
A treasure from above.
She’s laughter, warmth and special charm,
She’s thoughtfulness and love.

A daughter brings a special joy,
That comes from deep inside.
And as she grows to adulthood,
She fills your heart with pride.

With every year that passes,
She’s more special than before.
Through every stage, through every age,
You love her even more.

No words can describe the warm memories,
The pride and gratitude, too.
That comes from having a daughter,
To love and to cherish… just like you!

I love you, Ella. Thank you for being YOU! Thank you for being the most amazing daughter a daddy could ever have.

I Wanna Be Like Bandit!

I realize that the title of this blog (and the picture above) may be misleading, because it is not about Burt Reynolds. In my defense, they say that having a good blog title will make people want to read it – and here you are! So just what is this blog about? A cartoon role model.

Never Heard of It

The age difference between my oldest boy and my daughter is 18 years. The difference between my youngest son and my daughter is 13 years. Kids shows are constantly changing. Sure, some of the same shows my oldest watched were still on when my youngest was born. However, it seems that outside of Sesame Street, there are always new shows on. PBS is barely recognizable now outside of Sesame Street and Curious George (to me anyway).

Let me say before I go on that the TV is usually background noise. I do not plant my daughter in front of it and use it as a babysitter. In fact, the things she likes most are the theme songs. Once they are over, she’s off playing with her toys or bringing me books to read. The only show that she really watches is Bubble Guppies. I think she likes it because of the bright colors and the fact that there is a lot of music in the show.

When Ella gets up in the morning, I usually give her a sippy cup of milk and turn on the TV. Most mornings I turn on Disney Channel. There is a show on there about a family of Australian dogs. It’s called Bluey. I had never heard of this show until recently. If I had to compare it to another show, I would say it is kind of like Peppa Pig, but better. So why I am writing about this silly little cartoon? And who could possibly be a role model on the show??

The Show

The show revolves around the Heeler Family – Dad (Bandit), Mum (Chilli) and the kids (Bingo and Bluey). The show was created by Joe Blumm, who based much of the show on raising his two daughters. He said that many of the story ideas were directly based on watching his daughters play. The program’s scripts show how children can use gameplay to learn lessons and integrate the world of adults into their own; Brumm noticed how his children would recreate interactions such as visits to the doctor, through roleplay. On the show, he wanted to portray the importance of imaginative play. His creative aims were to make children laugh, and show parents what children can learn while engaged in play.

The Role Model

Bluey’s Dad, Bandit, is a true role model for fathers. He is “all-in” as a dad. The reason I chose to write about him was that I noticed just what a fantastic dad he is! He doesn’t have his head in the newspaper, or his phone in his face while his kids are playing – he gets right in there with them. When the kids tell him what character he is – he becomes that character. Maybe he is a baby in the supermarket, or getting a shot at the doctor. Maybe he is a crazy robot or a garden gnome, whatever the role, he embraces it and plays the part like he is working toward an Academy Award!

Through it all, there are lessons to be learned as well. In one episode, Bluey finds a bird that is injured. She tells her dad who, rather than blowing it off or telling her to go talk with mommy, takes the bird to the vet. They wait for news at the vet, and find out that the bird died. He is there for her as she processes the new concept of death. There’s nothing funny about this, and there is no punch line (as you might see in a sitcom with your stereotypical sitcom dad). Bandit is a truly wonderful dad.

One thing parents tend to forget is that your time becomes your kid’s time. What do I mean by that? Simply this – if I want to sit down and watch a Detroit Tigers game on TV and Ella wants to play “Tea Party,” then I need to play with Ella! That’s that! Bandit is that way! If he is in the middle of mowing the grass and Bluey wants to play, the grass can wait! The kids are the priority! They get his full attention!

Looking back, I feel bad. I know there were many times that my boys asked me to do something and I was in the middle of something else. I found myself putting them on “hold.” The problem with that is – they keep growing and growing fast! By putting them on hold, you miss out on bonding and moments you will never get again. That being said, I turn to Bandit as my role model!! Maybe I need to ask myself in those instances “What Would Bandit Do?”

Do yourself a favor, especially if you are a parent – watch the episode of Bluey called “Take Away”. After watching it, you will see how wonderfully this cartoon shows the joys of parenthood and the occasional chaos that goes with it. If you don’t learn something from how Bandit handles the frustrations of the situation from this short cartoon, you missed something!

Almost every TV show today shows the dad as a goofball. Oh sure, they have their “moments” where they have the heart to heart talk with their kids and the lesson is taught, but most of the time TV dad’s are comic relief. Bandit is the dad that most of us dad’s should strive to be like.