My Heart Aches

Andy Marlette 2017

Just shy of 6 months ago, a school shooting happened 45 miles from my home in Oxford, Michigan. It happened at the high school. 4 students were killed and 7 were injured. 10 days ago, there was a mass shooting in Buffalo, NY at the Tops Supermarket that took the lives of 10 people. Today, another mass shooting at an elementary school that killed 19 students and a teacher.

From NPR:

Education Week as been tracking school shootings since 2018. According to its database, 119 such incidents have taken place since then. There were 27 school shootings with injuries or deaths this year.

The Gun Violence Archive, an independent data collection organization, has counted 212 mass shootings that have occurred so far this year, as of Tuesday. It defines a mass shooting as an incident in which four or more people were shot or killed, excluding the shooter.

As for school shootings, according to Education Week, 2021 had 34 such incidents at educational institutions (the highest since the organization started its database). In 2020, there were 10 shootings. Both 2019 and 2018 recorded 24 shootings.

Mass shootings are becoming more and more common. I read a blog today that said: I’m not trying to be glib, but mass killings in America have become a bit like living near train tracks. The trains routinely rumble past, but we are so used to it, we stop noticing them after a while. (The blog was pointlessoverthinking.com) I truly hope this is not the case.

It is sickening to me. For the life of me, I cannot understand what motivates someone to do something like this. 19 children – elementary school children with bright futures ahead of them – had their lives taken away from them. 19 families – parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles – all will mourn the loss of someone near and dear to them for many months and years ahead.

Obtained from politicalcartoons.com

How many children told their parents they loved them for the last time this morning? How many parents said they’d see them later when dropping them off at school? How many had plans to go to dinner with family after school? It is SO upsetting to me.

Sam and I were discussing preschools and schools just this weekend. We’d also talked about home schooling as well a few months ago. It scares me to think about it.

I know that “active shooter” and “lock down” drills have become a regular thing in schools today. However, I think about those elementary kids. Do they even know to run? If a gun was going off in a building it would be loud and scary. I know many a child who would just stand there and cry.

When the story about the shooting broke today, it originally stated that 2 children had died. That number quickly grew to 14 and now 19. The numbers don’t matter, because one child is too many. I feel tremendously sad for the families of those children, the children who survived, and the entire community.

Deep down, I also feel anger. I’m not starting a political debate here, please don’t make it that. I am angry that there is so much violence and hatred in the world. I am angry that children cannot be children and have to live ever so cautiously. I’m angry that parents, who already naturally worry about their children, now have more worries than necessary.

Whitney Houston sang, “I believe children are our future.” She wasn’t alone in feeling that way.

Nelson Mandela
Zig Ziglar
President John F, Kennedy

Our children ARE IMPORTANT! It is our job to do what we can to keep them safe. We are to raise them to respect others and to be kind. We are to teach them to be honest and show gratitude. We are to teach them integrity. We are to teach them to forgive and to be compassionate toward others. We are to teach them to be determined and perseverance. We are to teach them to be responsible. We are to teach them that it is ok to fail. We are to teach them love.

I pray that the senseless events of Tuesday will cause us to look for ways to protect our children at all costs. The hurt, the anger, the sadness, and the violence needs to stop.

Social Media Spring Cleaning

I was forced to do a bit of clean up to one of my social media accounts today.

I am not really sure how I missed this one particular person when I went through the “followers” previously, but I did. This follower decided to make themselves known by commenting on a post I made. By doing so, I again went through the followers and deleted (and blocked) those who are full of hatred and negative energy.

I know that it is only a quick fix. I would not put it past you to create fake accounts with fake names and follow me that way. I wouldn’t put it past you to recruit others to spy for you. On Facebook and other social platforms, I can keep on blocking – and no doubt, you know about it. I am sure that once the block happened today, it was the talk of the day! One less connection to feed you things to gossip about. Don’t be hurt that I blocked you (and others before you). They were the first to block me as I recall.

At What Point Do You Move On?

That’s a good question. There are other questions that I can pose as well. Does your new man realize that you are probably spending more time on me and what I am doing than him? Are you that desperate to know what I am doing that you need to have your friends stalk my page? You claim that I am playing the “victim”, but isn’t what you have been doing for years? You have everything you ever wanted now. With all the time you spend focusing on me and my life, when will you ever open your eyes to enjoy what you have?

I have to believe that your friends, your man, and your family would be sick of hearing about me by now! Maybe they are just like you, however, and take joy in being miserable and making others miserable. You are the great manipulator. You have them all believing what you want them to believe. You have done no wrong in anything. You must control every situation and get what you want when you want it. You will do whatever you have to do or say to get people to believe you, stand with you, and buy into your narcissistic world.

Do yourself, your friends, and your family a favor – MOVE ON!

Misery loves company. It also must love jealousy, and toxicity. All I need in my life is my children and those who love me.

All 8 of those things should sound familiar to you – as you fit every single one of those things!

Take a look around your circle of “friends” or “family” for that matter – you love to talk about every one of them when they are not around. The backstabbing and gossip that happens to people who are not there is brutal and venomous! I wonder if they have any idea that you wear a different face when you are with them? You have to know that they do they same thing to you when you are not there. Each of you have two or more faces. Oh well, let them be the subject of your evil and selfish “game.”

Have a nice life ….

Oh, one more thing….

Professional help!

Endings and Beginnings

“What feels like the end is often the beginning …”

I will be the first to admit that this blog is more appropriate for the end of the year. However, with the events of the past few days (which I will elaborate on in a future blog), it weighed on me to write these thoughts down.

2020 brought many things to an end. Sadly, the one thing that didn’t go away was Covid-19. The virus has forced many local and small businesses to shutter their doors forever. The virus cut short the lives of many Americans and people all around the world. It has also put many things in jeopardy of disappearing forever – going to a movie, free samples, touch screens in public, buffets, and even shaking hands.

While not official, I am pretty confident in saying that 2020 has forced the end of my radio career. Stations have their DJ’s broadcasting from home live or recording shows from home. I enjoyed doing it part time and it allowed me access to studios to do any free lance voice work that might some my way. I am sure that if I needed a studio, I could call and get into one (thanks to a few friends). I don’t do enough of it to warrant buying equipment to set up a studio at home. I have come to terms with this and will always look back on my days in radio fondly. I’m a pretty lucky guy to have worked with so many great people.

I am also sure that I am officially retiring from DJing parties and weddings. The equipment has become too heavy for me to lug in and out. The money people are willing to pay is much less than it used to be, and it has stopped being fun for me. There are some events that I would probably still enjoy doing, but those are the low paying gigs. At one time, I really enjoyed doing it, but it has become more like work.

With the end of things, come new beginnings. One up side of not working at the radio station on weekends is time with my kids and my family. Over the past few months, I have watched my daughter accomplish some firsts – and I am glad I didn’t have to miss them because I was working.

There was a time when I was working full time, working part time in radio, and doing DJ stuff on the side. I was never home. That may or may not have been intentional due to my home situation at the time. However, over the past 4 years, my life has changed drastically for the better. I like being home. I love being with my wife, my daughter, and my sons. I cannot wait to be home with them, even if it is just to sit on the couch and watch TV!

So as 2021 approaches, you and I are faced with 365 blank pages to write as we wish ….

I’m sure that the new year will bring challenges, especially since we will still be dealing with Covid-19, political unrest, division, and hatred. But with each blank page – we can make a choice to be positive, be happy, enjoy every minute, and count every blessing.