Mixed Emotions

If I had to describe today with emoji’s, I’d need a lot of them!

Exhaustion – Tuesdays are always difficult. I get very little sleep before having to come into work for the night. I do the best I can to nap when the kids are napping, but things just never seems to line up where we all sleep at the same time.

Confident – Recently I was presented with an opportunity that peaked my interest. It was one of those things that I really wasn’t searching for, but I looked at it very carefully. After much discussion and weighing all the pros and cons, I made a decision that I feel is best.

Afraid – At the same time, looking on the horizon, there is something I stumbled on that has positives and negatives. I took a leap of faith today. It would be a HUGE change. It has been something that has been on the back burner for some time. Whether or not anything comes of it is yet to be seen. If it does, there are some big things to think about and consider.

Angry – Annoyed – Exasperated – Done – One phone call can bring about so many emotions. How many times can the same things be rehashed? When do you just say “Forget it? I’m done?” An hour and 20 minutes of being on speaker phone being accused, judged, called every profane name imaginable, and treated like a piece of crap is not exactly how I want to spend my time. Once you apologize for something, you shouldn’t be expected to keep apologizing for it over and over again. Especially when the other party has said they forgive you. My God, it was a vicious circle of things that are from years ago, yet here we are talking about it again! Enough is enough. If you can’t get past it, I don’t know what to tell you. Don’t feel sorry for me or my family, because quite frankly, we are fine! Please just let it go!

Dedicated – It is time for me to stop letting the outside BS affect me and my family. I am dedicated to being the best husband and father I can be to those who will let me. I have found happiness and NO ONE will take that away from me. I love my family more than I will ever be able to express here, and intend to keep it together. Leave your negativity at the door or better yet, keep it away. There is LOVE, tenderness, faith, and joy in my house! I intend to increase those feelings with every moment I am alive!

Sadness – With every day my kids continue to grow up. Ella will be two this week. I am having a very difficult time wrapping my head around that. Andrew will be 4 months old this week and it seems like time won’t slow down. Sam has often said to me that she feels when she is done with work for the week, she feels like the look older and are bigger. I feel the same way. Despite having gone through this with my two older sons, it feels like time is going by even faster than before.

I will end on a positive emotion:

Happiness – This week, Ella started saying, “I love you, too, Daddy.” and “I love you, too, Mommy” after we tell her that we love her. There is nothing that will melt your heart faster.

Earlier today, Andrew was laying on the floor and he was giggling. I snapped a picture of him and Ella immediately came over and laid next to him and said, “My turn, Daddy!” In an absolute amazing moment, she grabbed his hand and I snapped the picture.

THAT IS WHAT MATTERS! Those two amazing kids (and my beautiful and wonderful wife) are the source of my happiness. There is nothing but joy connected with them. There is no negativity. There is no hate. There are no grudges. There are no hidden motives. There is LOVE. There is JOY. There is HAPPINESS. There is DELIGHT. There is LAUGHTER.

This is what is important! THEY are what is important.

On my bad days, those two special kids remind me to focus on what really matters!

“A Happy Man Once Said….”

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A friend sent me these – worth sharing and re-reading occasionally:

“Don’t ruin other people’s happiness just because you can’t find your own.”

“Living a good life really is the best revenge. Once they acknowledge they cannot ruin your happiness, they lose their power.”

“Never let someone steal your happiness – it is not theirs to take.”

“Ignore those who try to steal your joy. Their lives are full of noise. Yours is full of purpose.”

“No one can steal your love, joy, or happiness without your permission.”

“Whoever is happy will make others happy, too. The opposite holds true as well.”

“For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

“You can’t separate a fool from their foolishness. You gotta separate yourself from that fool.”

“Don’t worry about what I am doing. Worry about why you’re worried about what I am doing.”

“You can’t always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.”

“Have you ever met a hater doing better than you? Me neither.”

“HATERS = Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success.”

“Whatever you do – good or bad – someone is going to have something negative to say”

“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings, and emotions.”

“Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back. They are there for a reason.”

“I love the ones who are in my life and make it amazing. I’m thankful for the ones who left my life and made it even more fantastic!”

“You become a real master of your life when you learn how to master your focus – where your attention goes. Value what you give your energy to.”

“Instead of wiping away your tears, wipe away the people who created them.”

“Sometimes it’s better to react with no reaction”

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because they suffer within themselves and their suffering is spilling over. They do not need punishment – they need serious help”

“Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Let them gossip about you. Their opinions aren’t your problems. You stay kind, committed to love, and free in your authenticity. No matter what you do or say, don’t you doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth. Just keep shining like you do.”

“Life only comes around once, so do whatever makes you happy, and be with whoever makes you smile.”

“Your mission: be so busy loving your life that you have no time for hate, regret or fear.”

“Every human being has a finite number or heartbeats. Don’t waste any of yours.”

“If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.”

“My past is my past. It made me who I am. I have no regrets and wouldn’t change a thing. I just don’t live there anymore.”

Quotes I Needed To Hear Today

It’s not worth my time (or yours) to rehash why I am writing this blog. It will be a short one. After an incident today, Sam (as she always does), saw a great quote that really helped me today:

“Learn to be ok with people not knowing your side of the story. You don’t have to prove ANYTHING to ANYONE.”

That quote was followed by a post from a friend on Facebook which read:

“Start ignoring people who threaten your joy. Literally – ignore them. Say nothing. Don’t invite any parts of them into your space.”

Both of these quotes were just perfect and helped me deal with a situation. While I have never been one to seek revenge on anyone, another quote I stumbled on also helped:

“Living a good life really is the best revenge. Once they acknowledge that they cannot ruin your happiness, they lose their power.”

It’s all about control. Author Jill Blakeway says it this way:

“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will seem unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth – JUST LIKE YOU DID!”

Fitting right in with that last quote:

“The sociopath fears two things. (1.) Losing control and (2.) Being exposed”

Author Daniel Chidiac says:

“When a person attempts to control someone else’s life, it only reflects the lack of control they have on their own.”

Not sure if this is true, but actor Will Smith is credited with saying:

“Haters are the people who will broadcast your failures and whisper your success”

When you break free from people who have controlled you or manipulated you for years, you have to remember that now that you are not in their life anymore, they must turn to someone else and manipulate them. There is a great truth here!

So why did I write this? To be a constant reminder to myself of how far I have come and to always remember: