The Music of My Life – 1990

Welcome back to The Music of My Life, where I feature ten songs from each year of my life. In most cases, the ten songs I choose will be ones I like personally (unless I explain otherwise). The songs will be selected from Billboard’s Year-end Hot 100 Chart, Acclaimed Music, and will all be released in the featured year.

A brand new decade has dawned and I will turn 20 in 1990. It was a time of change for me, as well. I had been working at WKSG for a little over 2 years. I truly believed that I’d have that job for years, but had yet to learn how unstable radio jobs were. When I was fired, I called my old boss (now at another station in Detroit) and cried like a baby. He brought me in part time at WMXD.

As I looked through the music from 1990 and 1991, there were many songs that I played while at WMXD. When I started there, the music was a mix of Adult Contemporary and Urban songs. Eventually, they would go all Urban Contemporary and I was let go again.

One of the songs I played, I wrote about recently, but it still makes my list here. If you want to know more about Elton John’s Club at the End of the Street, you can read the earlier post here:

Throwback Thursday Tune

Club At The End of the Street

Next on the list is a song that was released on my 20th birthday, May 15, 1990. “Vision Of Love” was Mariah Carey’s first single. The song debuted at #73 in America, but two months later, in August, spent four weeks at the #1 spot. I remember playing this one on WMXD, as well. It was a song that really showcased her outrageous vocal range! The first time I heard her belt out that high note, I couldn’t believe it!

The original demo of the song was described as a 1950’s shuffle, but that didn’t matter. The song was good enough. Songfacts says, The original version was included on Mariah’s demo tape for Columbia. It was one of the songs that caught the ear of Tommy Mottola, her future husband and, more importantly, the head of the label’s parent company, CBS Records. At the time, Mariah was working as a backup singer for Brenda K. Starr, who invited her to a label party in Manhattan where the demo tape made its way into Mottola’s hands. After listening to the tape in his limo on the way home, he went back to the party to track down the singer. Mariah had already left and no one knew who she was. Days later, she found a message on her answering machine inviting her to sign with the label. Mottola then sent her to Los Angeles to re-record “Vision Of Love.”

Let me be honest right here. After her second album, there were not too many songs by Mariah that I cared for. I don’t know this for sure, but I feel the “business” changed her. There were a couple of songs later that were good. I felt, however, her strongest stuff was on those first two albums.

Vision of Love

The Godfather trilogy will always be my number one, but my second favorite trilogy would be Back to the Future. In 1990, Back to the Future Part III was released in theaters. I couldn’t wait to see how it all wrapped up.

ZZ Top released their Recycler album in 1990. The lead single from the album was a song from Back to the Future Part III called Doubleback. The group made a cameo appearance in the movie playing an acoustic version. That version is on the soundtrack of the movie.

Doubleback

But wait, there’s more! Consider this a Double Shot of ZZ Top. From the same album, My Head’s In Mississippi sounded like classic ZZ Top to me. I just loved the shuffle and the vocals. Billy Gibbons said:

“My buddy Walter Baldwin spoke in the most poetic way. Every sentence was a visual awakening. His dad was the editor of the Houston Post. We grew up in a neighborhood where the last thing you would say is, ‘These teenagers know what blues is.’ But our appreciation dragged us in. Years later, we were sitting in a tavern in Memphis called Sleep Out Louie’s — you could see the Mississippi River. Walter said, ‘We didn’t grow up pickin’ cotton. We weren’t field hands in Mississippi. But my head’s there.’ Our platform, in ZZ Top, was we’d be the Salvador Dalí of the Delta. It was a surrealist take. This song was not a big radio hit. But we still play it live, even if it’s just the opening bit.”

In 2008, Gibbons stated, “‘My Head’s in Mississippi,’ which was one of the first completed tracks on the album, is a great example of how we mixed the new with the old. Initially, it was a straight-ahead boogie-woogie. Then Frank stepped in and threw in those highly gated electronic drum fills, which modernized the track.”

My Head’s in Mississippi

I have never owned a pair of parachute pants. They do look comfortable, however, and it looks like you have a lot of freedom in them.

As much as I didn’t really want to include this one, I did play it a lot while DJing. It always got folks out dancing, then again, so did Super Freak by Rick James. Believe it or not, James did NOT give Hammer permission to use the song.

Songfacts explains: Rick James tried to keep rappers from sampling his music, turning down any requests. According to James, his lawyers authorized the “Super Freak” sample without his permission. He heard about it when a friend told him about “U Can’t Touch This” and the song came on the radio they were listening to in the car. James said he was irate, but somewhat appeased when he found out how much money it was making for him. Still, he claimed he wouldn’t have done the deal if he was asked.

James had another beef as well: he wanted to be listed as a songwriter on “U Can’t Touch This.” He sued MC Hammer for credit. The case was settled out of court, with James getting listed as a co-writer on the track along with Hammer and Alonzo Miller. Miller was a disc jockey who wrote some lyrics on “Super Freak.”

He recorded the song at Capitol Records, where Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, and Dean Martin recorded, The label ran an innovative marketing campaign to promote this song. They mailed out free cassette singles of the track to 100,000 kids. The cassettes came with a letter from Hammer asking them to call MTV and request the video. The ploy worked, and the video became the most-played of 1990 on the network.

U Can’t Touch This

I don’t remember when my ex-girlfriend had sent this song to me. It was probably after we broke up the first time. I say that because I believe that this song is what led us to getting back together eventually. I remember being pretty messed up after the break up. I did end up dating someone else.

I don’t recall how my ex and I began chatting again, but it led to her giving me this song. I really loved and cared about my ex. I broke it off with the gal I had been dating to get back together with my ex. It was really unfair to her, but I was 20, almost 21, and didn’t really know any better.

While we enjoyed some very good times the second time around, it didn’t last. She broke up with me again, which led to me always wondering what I did to cause he to leave. Anyway, I tell you all that to play Cuts Both Ways.

Cuts Both Ways

In 1967, Otis Redding wrote and recorded his version of Hard to Handle. He wrote it with Allen Jones and Al Bell and the track was produced by the legendary Steve Cropper. It was released in 1968 (after his death) as the B-side to his song “Amen.”

The song was first covered in 1968 by Patti Drew. The Black Crowes covered the song on their debut album, Shake Your Money Maker. Two versions of the song exist. First, the original album version and the hit single remixed with an overdubbed brass section. The latter is available on the 30th Anniversary edition of Shake Your Money Maker.

Songfacts says: This was The Black Crowes’ third single, following “Twice As Hard” and “Jealous Again.” It made #45 in the US in December 1990, as the group was rapidly gaining momentum. After “She Talks To Angels” hit #30 in May 1991 – over a year after the album was released – “Hard To Handle” was reissued, this time going to #26 and becoming the highest-charting single for the band on the Hot 100.

This has always been a song that I love to crank up. It’s funky and fun!

Hard To Handle

My next song is another one that I played while at WMXD. I was familiar with James Ingram before I worked there and always liked his voice. I Don’t Have The Heart was his only solo number one song. The song won him a Grammy Award for Best Male Pop Vocal Performance in 1991.

The song was written by the duo of Allan Rich and Jud Friedman. It was the first song they wrote together. Speaking about Rich’s lyrics, Friedman told Songwriting Magazine, “Allan says he’s not a poetic lyricist, and he’s not a flowery lyricist. He is very conversational, but in a good way, and that has its own poetry. It’s the poetry of reality and the poetry of life and interactions. And the thing about I Don’t Have The Heart, among many brilliant things about Allan’s idea for the song, is it’s an example of taking a phrase that’s very well known, ‘I don’t have the heart,’ and flipping it. ‘I don’t have the heart to hurt you but I don’t have the heart to love you.’ He used it in two different ways, and that was poetic. We’ve all been there, sometimes wearing one of the shoes and sometimes wearing the other.”

That was the thing that caught me, too. The flip. I love when a lyric does that.

I Don’t Have the Heart

Whitney Houston hadn’t been on the radio since 1988. While she had her fair share of uptempo songs, but I feel like radio played more of her ballads. So the first time I played I’m Your Baby Tonight, I was wowed by it.

According to Songfacts:

By the time Houston released her third album, I’m Your Baby Tonight, she was coming off of a three-year hiatus. Prior to this, she had a record-breaking string of seven consecutive #1 singles on the Billboard Hot 100. The problem was, her record label felt she was losing touch with her black audience. Houston balked at the claim, telling USA Today, “I don’t sing music thinking this is black, or this is white… I sing songs that everybody’s going to like.”

But producers L.A. Reid and Babyface agreed with the assertion. Reid told Billboard: “We wanted to come up with something that was different than anything Whitney had sung. So we approached it from that angle. We wanted to give her a new direction, and pick up where we felt she was lacking. We felt like she needed more of a black base.”

It definitely was a fresh sound for her, but I don’t know hear it as “more black” or “more white.” To me, it is just a great song!

The Julien Temple-directed music video shows Houston in the guise of different pop culture figures. They include silver screen siren Marlene Dietrich, Audrey Hepburn, and all three of The Supremes.

I’m Your Baby Tonight

Allow me just one more song from my WMXD days. Let me set this up for you. When I was at WKSG, these two sweet old ladies always called to request songs. They were sisters named Virginia and Dorothy. They always seemed to call toward the end of my overnight shift.

Virginia suffered with respiratory issues, so it took her a bit to say what she wanted. She would get a couple words out and have to take a breath. She had emphysema and really struggled to breathe.

Dorothy, on the other hand, was always on the go. She was always talking about where she was over the weekend. She was always at a party or something, even though she didn’t drive. She took a bus or Your Ride where she needed to go.

When I told them that I was leaving the station, Dorothy gave me her address to keep in touch. When I moved to Ludington, she and Virginia wrote me often. Eventually, communication was over the phone. When I moved back home, we actually ran into each other at a Weight Watchers. meeting.

I was closer to Dorothy, and she would invite me to stop by for coffee. She always had some sort of baked good ready. She was born the same day as Frank Sinatra. She was such a sweet friend. I am sure that I lost touch with her after I married my ex, and was sad to hear that she (and her sister) had passed away.

She once told me that she didn’t like all of the music we played at WMXD. One song she loved was The First Time by Surface. This song went to number one on the Billboard Hot 100. Whenever I hear it, I think about my friend and am grateful to have known her.

The First Time

Robert Palmer’s Don’t Explain album was very different. It contains 18 tracks and a variety of styles. There is R&B, Rock, Jazz, and more. It also includes some cover songs. I love the track “Top 40” because it swings a bit with a great sax line. It, however, wasn’t released as a single.

The song that is closest to what he had success with in the 80’s is You’re Amazing. I love the guitar line in the song. Billboard said, “Palmer’s reliably strong soul stylings added to headbanger guitar riffs and sweet background harmonies proves to be a quirky, but potent, combination.”

I don’t know that I would call the guitars “headbangers,” but I suppose they are a bit harder than Palmer usually presents. Now, the background harmonies – yeah, I dig those!

You’re Amazing

1990 Bonus Song

I just can’t pass up one song. It is a song that my best friend, Jeff, and I still laugh about. I can’t be sure who heard this first, but I know we laughed about it for years. The idea of taking the voice from a 1970’s instructional dance record and incorporating it into this is brilliant. The Bingo Boys did just that!

It is this vocal part from that record that makes us laugh so much. I cannot even being to picture a couple in their living room trying to learn a dance to that guy! It is so absurd that after a few of his lines, Princessa jumps in to shut him up. “Act like the end of a record and fade out …” is the lyric. I think that’s an awesome line.

The Bingo Boys were a trio from Austria. The song was actually released in the US first. It was released in the UK in 1991. It went to number one on the Hot Dance Club Play chart and reached number 25 on the Hot 100.

The song borrows heavily from a number of earlier recordings, including “Dance, Dance, Dance (Yowsah, Yowsah, Yowsah)” by Chic, “Dance (Disco Heat) by Sylvester, “Kiss” by the Art of Noise and Tom Jones, the popular James Brown “Yeah! Woo!” sample loop, the bassline motif from Mantronix’s single “Got to Have Your Love”, and a synth motif from The Whispers’ “And The Beat Goes On”. See if you can catch them all ….

How To Dance

That’s a wrap on 1990. Next week, we’ll check out 1991. That was the year I turned 21 and moved out for the first time. What kind of surprises will pop up?

Did I miss any big 1990 songs from your list?? Drop them in the comments!

The Music of My Life – 1989

Before we get into the music, I have to take a moment to mark a blogging milestone. This blog will be the 1400th blog I have written since the Nostalgic Italian site went live.

1400 posts and here you are still reading. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am glad that you are here. Now, let’s celebrate by going back to 1989…. when I turned 19.

As I sorted through the singles from 1989, I noticed that there were a lot of duets recorded that year. After All from Peter Cetera and Cher, Don’t Know Much and All My Life from Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville, were just a few of them. No duets made my list, however, as I just didn’t feel any of them connected with me enough to bump the ten songs I picked.

I grew up listening to Roy Orbison. He was a favorite for a long time. I used to ask my dad to play his songs on the stereo all the time as a kid. In 1988, Roy saw his career take on new life. He recorded with George Harrison, Jeff Lynne, Tom Petty and Bob Dylan as part of the group The Traveling Wilburys (More on them in a moment) and had recorded a brand new album (Mystery Girl) in November of 1988.

On December 6, 1988, I was at the radio station when an “Urgent” Bulletin came across the AP Newswire stating that Roy had died after having a heart attack. I had never met Roy, but his music was such a big part of my life that seeing the story upset me quite a bit.

You Got It was the first single released from the Mystery Girl album in January of 1989. Orbison wrote the song with his Wilbury friends, Jeff Lynne and Tom Petty. Lynne produced the track and also played guitar, keyboards and bass; Petty played acoustic guitar and sang backup. It would reach #1 on the Adult Contemporary chart and #9 on the Top 40 chart.

Orbison performed this song just once: at the Diamond Awards Festival in Antwerp, Belgium on November 19, 1988. This performance was used as the song’s music video.

You Got It

Every interview I have seen with the guys from the Traveling Wilburys always has them saying how wowed they were by having Roy in their group. When Jeff Lynne was asked about the recording sessions, he said, “Everybody just sat there going, ‘Wow, it’s Roy Orbison!’ … Even though he’s become your pal and you’re hanging out and having a laugh and going to dinner, as soon as he gets behind that [microphone] and he’s doing his business, suddenly it’s shudder time.”

Roy was in the group’s first video (for Handle With Care), and was set to travel to London a couple days after he passed away. One of those videos was for The End of the Line. One of the reasons that I love this video is that the group gives a heartfelt tribute to their friend. When Roy’s vocal happens, we see Roy’s guitar in a rocking chair next to a framed photo of Roy.

The End of the Line

I have never seen the movie Road House. My mom liked it a lot, because she liked Patrick Swayze. Jeff Healey and his band were shooting scenes for the movie (and Jeff had many scenes with Swayze) and recording his See The Light album simultaneously. One of the cuts from this album was Angel Eyes.

I had never heard of Healey before this song. I had no idea that he was blind and marveled at the way he played his guitar (on his lap, like a piano). I was really blown away by his vocals and his guitar playing. He was discovered by two blues legends – Stevie Ray Vaughn and Albert Collins.

He toured and sat in with some fantastic people over the years including Buddy Guy, BB King, Eric Clapton, ZZ Top, The Allman Brothers and Bonnie Raitt (just to mention a few.) While he is mainly known for his bluesy style, by the year 2000 he actually was releasing many jazz albums.

He loved music and he was an avid record collector. He amassed a collection of well over 30,000 old 78 rpm records. Starting in 1990 he hosted a radio program of very early jazz on CIUT at the University of Toronto with Colin Bray. Later he went national on CBC Radio’s program entitled My Kind of Jazz, in which he played records from his vast vintage jazz collection.

Too many people write him off as a “One hit wonder” act. His music is fantastic and this song is so soulful … he was a talent taken too soon.

Angel Eyes

“Hey, man! Have you heard that new song by Marvin Young?” I can’t even imagine what type of music someone called Marvin Young would be singing! However, Young MC just screams rap music, right?! I’ve never been a big rap fan, but there was just something about the baseline and the catchy lyrics that made this a favorite for me.

Bust a Move was a song that whenever I played it, the crowd always new the words and sang along. The verse that every one knows is “Your best friend, Harry, has a brother Larry, in five days from now he’s gonna marry…” The whole rhythm of that verse and the baseline fit so well together. I also like the fact that while there is some sexual innuendo, there is no profanity in the song.

Interesting story from songfacts.com: Flea from The Red hot Chili Peppers played bass on this song and appears in the video, but he didn’t reap the rewards. He explained to Bass Player magazine: “I have a bitter taste in my mouth about that, because I feel as though I got ripped off. The bass line I wrote ended up being a major melody of the tune, and I felt I deserved songwriting credit and money because it was a #1 hit. They sold millions of records, and I got $200! Afterwards, my lawyer told them, ‘You should throw down Flea some cash,’ but the record company said, ‘We told him exactly what to play.’ No one was even in the room at the time but me and the engineer! It was ridiculous, but I learned from it.”

It was one of the first rap records to cross over to the mainstream charts. It went to #7! Young MC recalled to Rolling Stone: “People looked at rap and hard rock as the type of music that you slam your door after you argue with your parents, and bang your head in defiance. My record wasn’t necessarily rebellious, but it was clever enough to grab in a decent segment of people that didn’t listen to rap music.”

Bust a Move

The next song is one that I used to play for my prom date, Karen, after we started dating. This and Just You and I from Eddie Rabbit and Crystal Gayle were “our songs.” I remember the first time I heard Luther Vandross sing Here and Now. I remember how powerful the lyric was and just how perfect his voice was for the song.

Karen and I dated for a bit and broke up around 1990, only to get back together a year or so later before breaking up after another year or so. Somewhere during that time I had made her a mix tape of love songs. This was just one of many that made it to that tape.

It was hard for me after we broke up because I was DJing a lot of weddings and this was a very popular Bride and Groom song. I almost always had to put headphones on and listen to something else while it played. Today, I can listen to it and it doesn’t bother me, but at the time, it brought about a lot of pain.

Here and Now

My next tune is one that I have featured before and I wrote about how it was helpful to me post-divorce. You can read about it here:

Tune Tuesday – I’m On My Way

I’m On My Way

I have said many times that Willie Nelson always seemed to have one song on each album that I connected with personally. Many times it was more than that. In 1989, he released a fantastic album entitled “A Horse Called Music.” On the album is a cut that was co-written by Mike Reid (who played five seasons with the Cincinnati Bengals and had a brief country singing career) called There You Are.

I had heard the song many times when listening to the album, but it wasn’t until after the final break up with Karen (see above) that the song really hit me hard. At the time, I was still wrapped up in feelings and hated that we were not together. I found myself thinking about her more than I should have been, especially since she had moved on with her life. Then I heard this song…

I could have written this song! It literally was exactly what was happening to me. For no reason, she’d pop into my head. It was never bad things, it was always some good memory of when we were together. The string arrangement and Willie’s vocal convey those feelings in such a magnificent way. It is beautifully sad …

I had never seen the video for this song until I searched for it today. Willie cleans up pretty good…

There You Are

When you make a list of great songwriters – Leiber and Stoller always are on that list. The next song was written by Oliver Leiber, the son of Jerry Leiber of that aforementioned team. Oliver had already written a couple songs for Paula Abdul (Forever Your Girl and The Way That You Love Me) when he got a call saying that the label needed one more song for her album. That song would be Opposite Attract.

From songfacts: This song evolved into a duet with a cartoon cat named MC Skat Kat, who was actually the duo The Wild Pair. Oliver Leiber explains: “I wrote it all from the perspective of one person singing it. It wasn’t initially a duet. It was saying, ‘I like this and you like that.’ It was basically: I like potatoes, and you like po-tah-toes, all from one singer’s perspective. But I had these two singers I had been working with – Marvin Gunn and Tony Christian. They’re the guys that sang on Prince’s “Kiss” and they were incredibly soulful funky singers that I had been using as part of my sound on the first two tracks I did with Paula, helping to preserve the Minneapolis sound, because they sounded very Prince-y and it really added something to Paula’s vocals.

Basically, he had the Wild Pair sing the entire song and then got Paula to cut her lines later. He wasn’t happy with the original mix, which is why the album and the single versions sound so different.

In the video, the real Paula interacted with the animated MC Skat Kat. The concept of Paula dueting with a cat came from Anchors Aweigh, a movie where Gene Kelly dances with the mouse from Tom & Jerry. The video was directed by Michael Patterson and his wife Candace Reckinger, who also created the MC Skat Kat character and animation. Patterson said: “Gene Kelly loved it; he was a friend of Paula’s. Gene was also an inspiration to Candace and I.”

Fun Fact: Patterson and Reckinger got their start in music videos when they created the iconic clip for a-ha’s Take On Me

I loved the Gene Kelly and Jerry Mouse dance, so naturally, I loved this video (and Paula) too!

Opposites Attract

Before I knew the song was about Elvis, I really loved the sound of Black Velvet by Alannah Miles. It was considered a power ballad, but to me it sounded more like a good blues song. Miles’ voice had that bluesy and sultry voice that fit with the groove of the song perfectly.

The story of how the song came to be is a good one. Co-writer Christopher Ward, who was Myles’ then-boyfriend, was inspired on a bus full of Elvis fans riding to Memphis attending the 10th Anniversary Vigil at Graceland, in 1987. Upon his return to Canada, he brought his idea to Myles and producer David Tyson, who wrote the chords for the bridge. The song was one of three in a demo Myles presented to Atlantic Records, which eventually got her signed to the label.

Songfacts provides a bit of lyric analysis:

“Black velvet and that little boy’s smile” – You can buy a black velvet Elvis painting at any respectable yard sale. Early female fans were drawn to his “Little boy smile.”

“Black velvet with that slow southern style” – Elvis delivered some of his songs with slow, undulating hips. Check out “Steamroller Blues” live.

“Up in Memphis the music’s like a heatwave” – Sun Studios. The epicenter of early rock music and where Elvis recorded.

“Love Me Tender leaves ’em cryin’ in the aisle” – Love Me Tender was a huge hit for Elvis in 1956.

“The way he moved, it was a sin, so sweet and true” – Elvis’ legendary hips swivel, the Pelvis.

“Every word of every song that he sang was for you. In a flash he was gone, it happened so soon, what could you do?” – Elvis died suddenly in 1977.

Black Velvet

For me, the last song for this week is something that I continue to work on in my personal life. In my first marriage and throughout that period of my life, I just found it easier to back down and make everyone happy. I did this even if it made me unhappy. It is challenging to stand your ground and not back down from what you believe in or what you feel is right.

Tom Petty’s song was helpful to him as well. Before recording his Full Moon Fever album, an arsonist burned down his house while he was in it with his family and their housekeeper. They escaped, but Petty was badly shaken and spent much of the next few months driving between hotel rooms and a rented house.

Songfacts says that: It was on these drives that he came up with many of the songs for the album; the fire was a huge influence, especially on this song. Petty felt grateful to be alive, but also traumatized – understandable considering someone had tried to kill him. “I Won’t Back Down” was his way of reclaiming his life and getting past the torment – he said that writing and recording the song had a calming effect on him.

The song was used as a patriotic anthem after the September 11th terrorist attacks. Regarding that, Tom said: “The song has also been adopted by nice people for good things, too. I just write them, I can’t control where it ends up.”

The song has a Wilburys connection. The video features Ringo Starr on drums, with Wilburys’ George Harrison and Jeff Lynne on guitar. Harrison did play on the track and contributed backing vocals, but Ringo had nothing to do with the song itself.

I Won’t Back Down

That’s it for the 1980’s! We’ll dive into a brand new decade next week. 1990 was a good year for music. Starting in the 1990’s my music choices tended to lean a bit more country as far as new stuff. In 1990 alone, I could have picked 10 country songs for the list. I didn’t, but I could have.

Next week’s list will feature and interesting mix of music, largely due to the radio station where I was working at the time … some classic rock, some soulful songs, and big pants ….

Did I miss a favorite of yours from 1989? Tell me all about it in the comments. See you next week.

Friday Photo Flashback

There is plenty to dislike about social media. I know many people who have deleted accounts because of things like political posts, advertisements, censorship of their posts and stuff like that. I, on the other hand, really enjoy social media.

One of the reasons I love it is that I get to share in the excitement of my friends as they post first/last day of school photos, birthday and anniversary posts, as well as achievement and event posts for their children. As another school year winds down, there have been plenty of senior pictures, photos of last concerts, last ball games, club banquets, and this week a whole lot of prom pictures.

I remember my prom night like it was yesterday, despite having very few pictures from the evening. It is not because I didn’t take any, we certainly did. We even had professional ones taken. The problem is that they … let me say “disappeared.” I have a feeling a certain someone from my past decided to MAKE them disappear. She never cared that I was still friends with my date’s family.

I was lucky enough to stumble on one prom picture among a pile of photos I have in a box. I have to chuckle a bit as I look at my younger self.

The gal standing next to me was my date – Karen. She was the same age as my younger brother (A freshman). I knew her older sister really well as she was a year younger than me. For some reason, in our marching band parade set up, they put her next to me. She played flute and I played trumpet. I never understood why, but I’m glad she was there.

Throughout the marching band season, we chatted a lot. We made each other laugh and I genuinely enjoyed being with her. I don’t recall when I decided to ask her to prom, but I did and she said yes. I remember her asking if I was serious about taking her. I assured her I was. I am sure that her folks must have had a lot of reservations about a senior taking their freshman daughter to the prom!

My buddy Joe and I got a limo for the night, but only for after the prom. If I remember right, my dad drove us all there. It was at this beautiful golf course. I’m sure we danced, but I think we walked around the grounds a bit, too. After the prom, we drove around until all hours of the night. We had nowhere to go, but we drove around Detroit, along the water on Jefferson Avenue, I think we went over the Ambassador Bridge, we just drove around.

When I look at the picture above, I laugh at the fact that I had to have tails, a top hat, gloves and a cane! Could I look any more ridiculous!? Karen’s mother made her dress and I remember having to know what color it was to make sure my tie and cummerbund matched it. I remember how stunning she looked and being so excited to be taking her to the prom.

She may never read this, but if she does, she can correct me if I am wrong, but I believe when we decided to go to the prom it was an agreement that we were going just as friends. I am sure that is what both of us had in mind. As we drove around in the limo and talked, I noticed that Joe and his date had both fallen asleep. I do not recall if I had held her hand prior to this or not. What I am sure about is that when I took her hand in mine she didn’t push it away, and we held hands for some time.

At some point, we sat close to each other and just kind of held each other. My 18 year old heart was probably beating through my chest. I was single at the time and I really truly enjoyed her company. She had become a wonderful friend and I liked being with her. I’d like to believe that the first kiss we shared was a magnetic sort of thing that we both eased into, but I’m sure I was the one who instigated it. It was a pretty amazing moment and I kept hoping that our limo-mates would not wake up, so we could keep kissing.

It is sad to say, but I don’t remember if the limo dropped us off at Joe’s house and I took her home or if the limo took her home. What I do remember is thinking about her all night and well into the next day. At some point we decided to date and we did for some time after that.

She will always be a special friend to me and her family is like family. I have fond memories of that day, the dance, our relationship, and her family. I was lucky enough to DJ some of their family events and even officiated her older sister’s wedding.

They say every decision you make leads to an outcome. This was sort of the plot of the book the Midnight Library by Matt Haig. As a senior, I remember not really wanting to go to prom. It was the most expensive dance after all. Then there was the cost of a tux and such. I was barely making any money at the time, so I really was set on not going. The more she and I talked and laughed, the more I thought about asking her to go. I almost didn’t ask. I’m glad I did, though.

Friday Photo Flashback

It is time for another installment of my Friday Photo Flashback. This week – a picture I didn’t even know I had.

It certainly is not a great picture of me, but it does bring back memories. The background seems dark and things behind us are hard to make out, but the people in it stir up good memories.

From left to right front row: me, Karen, and Joe. Back row: Margaret and Steve

The photo was taken at my high school graduation party. I only know this because of the clothes we are wearing (thanks to other photos from the party). It is a snapshot of an ending and new beginning for us – the end of school and the start of “real life.”

1988. The people in the photo were my best friends. Jeff would also be included in that group, and there is another photo of all of us together somewhere. The only thing that would make this a perfect snapshot of my life at that time would be Jeff in it.

I spent so much time with all of these people in high school. We always seemed to be together. it wasn’t always all of us, but you could almost be that I’d be with at least one of them!

Steve and I were practically inseparable. We spent hours in the car driving and listening to tapes I had made to “cruise” with. I’ve always said we were like Jackie Gleason and Art Carney – Ralph and Norton. I think we drove each other nuts at times, but we truly were great friends … And still are. The day was bittersweet for us because I believe the day after this photo was taken, Steve left for basic training.

Joe and I hung out almost as much, but he was always the better student and actually did his homework. A lot of the time he’d be doing that so it was just Steve and I out causing trouble. There were many times, however, that we’d all hope in the car and drive around wasting gas. I think of the three of us as the Three Amigos, or maybe the Three Stooges is more accurate. We all played cards (Pinochle) together for hours on end. Now we try to find time between our work schedules to schedule a golf outing together…

Margaret and I were as close as Steve and me. I love that she has her arm around me in this picture. We never dated – even though our folks wanted us to – but it was almost like we did. We loved each other, but never in a romantic kind of way We went to movies, dances, and dinner together and our friendship continues to this day. She is Aunt Margaret to my kids and they love her just as much as I do.

Margaret and I used to talk for hours on the phone when were in school. We still do. Both of us have long drives to work and we often chat while driving. We still vent, laugh and cry with each other. Ours truly is an amazing friendship.

Karen and I had probably just started dating when this picture was taken. She was the same age as my brother and a Freshman when I was a Senior. For some reason, she stood next to me in parade formation in marching band. It was weird because I played trumpet and she was a flute player. Not sure why we were next to each other, but it led to our relationship.

I always tried to make her laugh when we were in marching band. I usually did. As prom approached, I kind of jokingly asked if she’d want to go. She surprised me and said yes. I remember Joe and I got a limo and I think we both had top hats. I think both Karen and Joe’s date wore blue dresses. All my prom pictures are gone now, so it is hard to remember. I do have vivid memories of that night, but that is really all.

We dated for about 5 years total with a short break in there somewhere. Karen was my first love. She wasn’t my first girlfriend, but my first serious one. We had a lot of wonderful memories. She’s married now and a wonderful mother. She works hard in the medical field and I still hear from her sisters and also am friends with some of her family on Facebook. I recently DJ’d her sister’s wedding and saw her briefly. I was glad to get to say hello.

I have some wonderful memories of that graduation party. My dad gathered up members of the wedding band he had played with and they all set up and played music at the party. My Uncle Tom played drums on some songs and did some singing of old blues tunes. My cousins also joined in and played drums and guitar. It was so cool. Steve, Joe, Jeff and I all got up and sang Weird Al’s parody of La Bamba (Lasagna) like a bunch of fools.

Of course, I think of the many folks who were there, who are no longer here. My mom, my grandparents, my great grandma, my great Aunt, Steve’s dad, Joe’s mom, and so many others. Thankfully they live on in photos and memories.

It seems to me as I look at this picture that we are posing for someone else’s photo. I wonder who might have been taking it. I would certainly love to see that one. Maybe I’m wrong, though. We all don’t seem to be looking the same way. Perhaps this is just an excellent candid picture. It’s a nice candid picture where I still have hair, big glasses, and am surrounded by some of the best people I’ve ever or will ever know.