Tag: Let It Go

The Music of My Life – 2014

Welcome back to The Music of My Life, where I feature ten songs from each year of my life.  In most cases, the ten songs I choose will be ones I like personally (unless I explain otherwise). The songs will be selected from Billboard’s Year-end Hot 100 Chart, Acclaimed Music, and will all be released in the featured year.

As you might remember, I started this last May on my birthday. I have tried to work a week or two ahead on this feature. One thing I have noticed as we move into the late 2010’s and 2020’s is that there are not that many songs that mean anything to me. No life event connects with them. There are only a few I may like. That being said, it is very possible that I will combine two or three years into one week. I also have a feeling that there may be upcoming years where I don’t pick any songs. If that happens, the feature will wrap sooner than expected, which may be a good thing.

2014 was actually a good year of music for me. I turned 44 that year. I had a new career in sleep and was still able to do a few hours on the radio. Many of the songs from this year were ones I played on the air …

It didn’t mean much to me in 2014, but Let It Go by Idina Menzel sure does today. It is the first song I danced to with my daughter at our first Daddy/Daughter Dance. That may have been the only song we danced to that first year, but I will never forget it. It is from her favorite movie, Frozen.

“Kids don’t want to stand out all the time, they want to fit in,” Menzel said regarding this song. “It’s about finding that thing that makes you different that’s going to make you special and extraordinary.”

Let It Go won for Best Song at the Oscars in the 2014 ceremony. It also earned an entry in the 2016 Guinness World Records book for “Most Languages Featured on a Single.” It was recorded in 42 different languages for Frozen‘s foreign releases.

Let It Go

Paramore was primarily known for their rock music. Ain’t It Fun is a very different sound for them. It was more pop/dance than rock. (From songfacts) Bassist Jeremy Davis told The Guardian that the band had their largely teenage fan base in mind. “After we started writing weird stuff like ‘Ain’t It Fun,’ we got nervous,” he said. “But that was a comfort. We’ve grown and we don’t like the same music we liked, so why would [our fans] not? That idea kept us pushing ourselves.”

Songfacts also says, “This upbeat track mixes gospel, soul and some Prince-style R&B. Hayley Williams told The Sun: “Taylor (York) and I came up with the melody and I thought about Prince, too. Then it got layered with more groove and funk and all the cool elements. The next thing I know there’s a gospel choir in the studio and we have that track. It’s been so liberating to write this record.”

The xylophone in the song really helped the song to stand out on the air. That’s what I remember most about the first time I played it. “Well, that’s certainly different,” I thought.

The song is catchy. I don’t know that I’d call it an earworm, but you get hooked right from the beginning.

Ain’t It Fun

The next song is one that I have written about before. I chose it in the 2021 Song Draft that Hanspostcard hosted. It is one of those songs that I love to listen to. Here is the blog I wrote for the Song Draft:

Song Draft 2021 – Pick 7 – Love Runs Out

Love Runs Out

Who would have imagined that in 2014 a Cole Porter song would be popular? Thanks to Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga, Porter’s Anything Goes was very popular … again.

The recording of the song took place over a year in New York City. Bennett’s quartet was present, as well as other musicians. It received mostly positive reviews. The Chicago Tribune said that it found Gaga to be in “good voice” and Bennett in “classic form”. V Magazine called the song a “fresh take” on the original. MTV News said “Gaga is clearly having a blast, doing her best Broadway belting with tons of energy and enthusiasm”

On the Billboard Jazz Digital Songs chart, the track debuted at the top, becoming Gaga’s second entry on that chart, following “The Lady is a Tramp”. The song was Bennett’s 15th entry on the Jazz Digital Songs chart, and his third number-one single. “Anything Goes” sold 16,000 digital downloads in the US during the week of its release.

Lady Gaga’s voice is one that could easily sing the American Song Book. The true sound of her voice is lost on current music. And how could you not like Tony Bennett?

Anything Goes

One song that really stands out to me from 2014 is Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran. It was one that many brides I DJ’d for picked as their first dance. It’s a great choice.

The first time I heard it, it reminded me a bit of Into the Mystic by Van Morrison. Little did I know that Ed says Van Morrison heavily influenced this song. He told songfacts:

“No one’s really channeled Van Morrison for a long time. Everyone always channels, Michael Jackson and the Beatles and Bob Dylan, and I feel like Van Morrison is a key figure in the music that I make.”

The video features Sheeran and his partner Brittany Cherry ballroom dancing and was shot all at once in 16 mm film. “I wanted the video to be a little different, so I opted for ballroom dancing,” he explained when the video was released in October 2014. “I had lessons for five hours a day when I was on my US tour last month.”

Songfacts says: With electronic music ruling the airwaves, this was one of the few hit songs of its time with a guitar solo (played by Chris Leonard), which is near the end of the song in place of a bridge. Running 4:41, it was also very long by 2014 hit song standards, although this extra time makes the song more appealing as a first dance wedding number.

Thinking Out Loud

When Shake It Off hit the radio, it drove me crazy. At that time, Taylor Swift was everywhere. There was a ton of publicity leading up to her 1989 album. This was the lead single.

This song IS an earworm. Even if I switched stations or turned down the monitors in the studio, I still found that it would run through my head. Gee, I don’t know why? The phrase “shake it off” shows up 36 times in this song, mostly in the chorus. “Shake” appears 70 times. URGH!

Songfacts says: The song originated from Swift learning to overcome her fear of not being accepted. “I think it kind of takes not caring what people think about you a step further to kind of locking the fact that people don’t get you,” she explained to BBC Radio 1’s Breakfast Show. “Kind of taking pride in the fact that you know you are and it honestly doesn’t matter if someone else doesn’t want to understand you. We go through these scenarios in so many different phrases of our lives, no matter what it is.”

“I’ve had to learn a pretty tough lesson in the past couple years that people can say whatever they want about at any time, and we cannot control that,” said Swift. “The only thing we can control is our reaction to that… You can either let it get to you… [or] you just shake it off.”

Shake It Off

Another big song that worked well as school dances was Shut Up and Dance by Walk The Moon. I used to love watching folks jumping around and dancing to it. It was always great to hear them shout the chorus as it played.

Vocalist Nicholas Petricca told American Songwriter magazine the story of the song:

“Well, (Guitarist) Eli Maiman and I were working on something that’s now the verse. And it had this great feeling that we couldn’t stop playing over and over. We didn’t have a chorus and we didn’t have a subject or a lyric.”

“So over the next weekend, I went to this awesome party they have at The Echo in Echo Park, Los Angeles, called Funky Soul Saturday. The story of ‘Shut Up and Dance’ is based on a true story of hanging out there with my friends… this girl actually told me to shut up and dance with her. We took it back to the studio and it spun out very quickly after that.”

It was only later that Petricca realized he could use the girl’s comment as a song lyric. “At the time, I was in my head and not with it,” he said. “She’s one of my best friends and pulled me out into the moment, and that really became the subject of the song. Encouraging people to let go of whatever it is that’s bothering you and get into your body and out of your head. Coming home and working on the song I thought, this is it. This is totally it.”

Shut Up and Dance

OneRepublic makes a second appearance on the list with an amazing song – I Lived.

Songfacts says:

While opening for U2 in the summer of 2012, OneRepublic frontman Ryan Tedder observed the effect of Bono’s lyrics on the Irish band’s fans, as they sung along to their songs. “These lyrics are so from his gut and so like honest, but poetic,” Tedder told Radio.com. “They’re not trying to be ambiguous or trying to be cool.”

Inspired, Tedder decided that with the Native he was going to write lyrics people could relate to, which meant he would have to share a little bit of himself. Accordingly, nothing on the album is a work of fiction. This song, for instance is a love letter to the singer’s son, Copeland Cruz, who was born in 2010.

How often are we told to live life to its fullest? The chorus is an example of doing just that:

I, I did it all
I, I did it all
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah, with every broken bone
I swear I lived

The song’s music video pays tribute to teenage fan, Bryan Warnecke, and his struggles living with cystic fibrosis. The clip ends with Tedder driving Warnecke to a concert at the Red Rocks Amphitheatre in Colorado to see OneReublic perform.

I Lived

Another song that jumped out of the radio at listeners was Honey, I’m Good by Andy Grammer. The song almost sounded out of place on Adult Contemporary stations because of its “country” sound. Grammer even went as far as to call the song, “a fun hoedown!”

The song’s music video features a montage of around one hundred real-life couples that have been together from several months to over 70 years. Grammer said,  “My manager and I were on the phone talking about an idea for the video. We wanted to press home the concept that this isn’t a song about a guy who’s cheating. This is about a guy who is being true. So we started calling all of our friends and family that we knew had been married for a long time and asked them to lip sync the song.”

“They all started sending videos in and we started asking by word of mouth if people knew a couple who’d been married a long time. It was so fun getting all our friends and family involved that we decided to just put it up on social media and ask the fans to be part of the video too. We asked them to get their parents and grandparents to be in it also.”

Honey I’m Good

Finally, another song that just clicked with the school dance crowds, as well as adult crowds. Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars struck gold with Uptown Funk.

The intro reminds me of the intro to Smoke on the Water. As it progresses, you get another instrument, then another, etc… Songfacts explains:

This intro sets the stage for the rest of the song, introducing the hooky “doh doh doh” vocal and the clapping drum sound (made with a Linn drum machine) that show up throughout the song. Before the intro ends, various other key instruments in the song appear: bass, snare drums, cheery guitar, horns and a swishy synth effect.

Mark Ronson, Bruno Mars and the producer Jeff Bhasker (Kanye West, Drake, Alicia Keys) share writing and production credits on the song. It originated from a lick that Mars and his band were playing on tour.

“When we hit on that opening line – ‘This s–t, that ice cold. Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold’ – we knew that we had the seed of this really exciting idea,” Ronson told Billboard magazine. “I pushed myself much more than I have on anything else in the past.”

Mars and Ronson create a monster party vibe in this song, starting with the title: “Uptown” implies high class, while “Funk” is the rhythm and release. The lyrics are way over-the-top, with Mars explaining that he’s so hot he’s forcing dragons into retirement. It’s clever, fun and outrageous, but also meticulously constructed with a mix of rhyming patterns.

The song went on to be the biggest of 2015.

Uptown Funk

So there you have it, 2014 in song. Did I miss one of your favorites from that year? Tell me about it in the comments.

Next week, we’ll look at 2015. My list includes the first song my wife and I ever talked about (before we were married) and one by her favorite country singer. It also includes a “tribute” to Frank Sinatra and the worst dance song since Gangnam Style! All that and more next week.

Thanks for listening and for reading!

May I Have This Dance?

Sam pointed out to me that next to Christmas, the day of the Daddy Daughter Dance is what our daughter looks forward to most. She is SO right. We’ve been counting down the days since Christmas!

Thanks to the steroids that the doctor put me on, I packed on a few more pounds than I anticipated. So, I had to alter my outfit at the last minute. Ella, of course, noticed. She asked, “Aren’t you going to wear a tie tonight, daddy?” I told her this year I wanted to be different, and she was ok with that lame excuse.

She looked just beautiful. What an honor to be escorting her to the dance.

We arrived early, and she insisted that she wanted to go inside. I told her we were 30 minutes early and the door was probably locked. She made me get out of the car and try the door, which was open. LOL. We went upstairs to get the professional photo taken, then headed to the gym.

The DJ was already playing music. He was one of those “gotta mix the songs at the same beat guys.” I’ve never been that way. I always felt it sounded weird when two songs were playing at the same time for 30 seconds. Ella didn’t notice and started to dance, even though she was one of four girls in the gym.

The theme this year was Barbie. So we had to get a photo with Ken and Barbie.

They also had a Barbie car for us. Naturally, I let Ella drive….

I think we just avoided hitting a roadrunner on that trip!

One of the projects that we could do together was to “bedazzle” some sunglasses. We made a pair for each of us. She said she wanted to make glasses for her brother and for her mom, so we went back later and did that.

She requested Let It Go from Frozen and we got to dance to that again. Three years in a row, that has been our first dance together. A while later, she was sitting drinking water and they played My Girl by the Temptations. I said, “Oh, Daddy loves this song!” She set her water bottle down and said, “Then we have to dance to it!” I picked her up and swayed with her, singing it to her. She was all smiles.

Not too long ago, on my Music of My Life feature, I mentioned how the song Daughters by John Mayer took on a new meaning when I became “girl dad.” Well, that new meaning went a lot deeper last night. This will forever be one of the best moments of my life:

When Daughters started to play, we were still swaying. She put her arms around my neck and leaned her head against mine. I reached up and wrapped my arm around her. For 4 minutes, it was just her and me. I swayed with my eyes closed, holding back tears. It was the most amazing dance. I was lost in my thoughts, too.

I know that as a 54 year old man, I may not be around when she gets married. We may never get the chance to have THAT Daddy/Daughter dance. So I treasure the ones we do get, and that one was extra special!

Every year, we take pre-dance pictures. It is amazing to compare them and see how much she has grown. This year’s was eye opening. In the first one, she still has that “baby” look to her. She would have been three for that dance. My beard gets more grey in them, too. The photos are a reminder of just how fast time goes by and how every moment is important.

Ella, thank you for spending such an amazing evening with me. Every day my love for you grows. I am already looking forward to next year’s dance. I love you forever!

Daddy

May I Have This Dance?

It was one of those things you want to record and play over and over again!  There were moments where I felt tears in my eyes.  Memories of this night will be forever etched in my mind.

I got home a few minutes ago from my first Daddy Daughter Dance.   I picked up Andrew from my in-laws, and by the time we hit the expressway, both kids were snoozing. I brought them in and put each of them to bed. Ella went back to sleep immediately, while Andrew is still dozing off and on.  He wakes up every so often to be sure I’m still in the room.  I figured while he did this, I would write about my special night with my daughter.

When Ella woke up today, she said, “It’s a Daddy-Ella Dance Day!  She was very excited.  At naptime, I laid Andrew down and gave Ella a bath. The hardest part for her was waiting.

Sam woke up earlier to help so Ella’s hair.  Normally, she wants braids and such, but today, she just wanted a bow in it.  Nice and easy. Sam put her dress on as I was getting dressed.  As I caught site of her in the dress, I got emotional.  She looked so beautiful.  Today was a day I’ve been waiting for all my life.

I put my shirt and tie on and Ella said, “You look amazing, Daddy!” Talk about feeling loved!  Wow, I didn’t expect that from her.  It really made feel special.

After we were dressed, Sam wanted to get some pictures.  First, both of us standing

Next, one of me holding her.

Can you tell we were both excited?

I had stopped at a florist shop and got her the corsage on her wrist.  Too bad the band was so big!  The nice thing is that it is silk.  It will never fade.  I hope she keeps this in a special keep sake box or somewhere to always remember our first “date.”

We dropped Andrew off at Nana and Papa’s house, and we headed to the dance.  Once we got there, we checked in and got to play, “How well do you know your daddy?”  We sat back to back and they had questions with answer cards.  Her question was “What is your dad’s favorite sport?”  I know she has seen me watch baseball and football, so I guessed she said baseball.  She did!  She won a golden egg with a toy in it.

Since we were early, I decided to go upstairs and get the professional photos taken.  They had me sit in a chair and had Ella stand in front of me.  They snapped a couple and will send them to the house when they are finished.

We walked back downstairs where they made a little necklace with sand and glitter in it, the also had her pick a small key, which they glued to  heart that says, “You hold the key to my heart!” The next craft was a head band with flowers in it. All very cool.

We then walked to the gym.  Not many people were there yet, but the music was playing.  Whatever the song that was playing when we walked in faded and the DJ played “Let It Go” from Frozen.  This was our first “official’ dance.  Appropriate song choice really – she loves Frozen.

Anyone who has ever taken a 3 year old to a dance or party knows that there is no stopping them.  After our first dance, all she did was run around the dancefloor.  She would occasionally join a group of girls who were holing hands and dancing in a circle. She was sliding on the floor, jumping, laying on the floor, and bumping into people countless times. This went on until I asked if she was hungry.

Standing in line for the buffet, Ella kept saying, “But I want food NOW daddy!” Patience is not something she has mastered yet. We grabbed chicken strips, meatballs, chips, cookies, and cheese cubes.  Half way through dinner, we called Sam to let her know how much fun we were having.  As she sipped on pink lemonade, she quipped, “You know, Watermelon juice is my favorite!” which had us both laughing out loud.

At dinner, Miss Davison and one of her court members came over.  “Daddy! Real life princesses!  They were so sweet and nice to her.  When they were leaving the room, she yelled, “Bye Princesses!:

Back to the gym where the music is and the running around continued.  It was fun to see her interacting with other kids. “Hi!  I’m Ella!  Want to dance?”  I chased her around while “What Does the Fox Say,” “Cupid Shuffle,” and “Baby” from Justin Beiber played. 

For the last song of the night, the DJ played “Ready, Set, Don’t Go” from Billy Ray Cyrus.  I picked her up and told her it was the last song.  She put her head on my shoulders ad we just swayed.  It was the perfect final dance and the perfect final dance partner. The emotions were overflowing at this point, and I enjoyed every second!

When the dance was over, we walked back to the car and buckled up.  As we left the parking lot, she simply asked, “Daddy?  Can we do another dance tomorrow or really soon?”

Absolutely, my sweet princess!  Absolutely!

Thank you for making daddy feel so special!  Thank you for an amazing memory I will never forget!

A Typical Dad Day

(I’ve never read this book, but I may have to …)

Sam worked last night, so it was my day with the kids. What does a typical day with dad look like?

The day starts with Andrew up first. We take the baby monitor out into the living room so we can see when Ella wakes up. I make him a bottle and take care of diaper change number one. Within 5 minutes of finishing the bottle diaper change number 2 is in order, because he poops like clockwork.

We usually go to get Ella together when she wakes up. He thinks its funny to push open her door. I then have to grab whatever Ella wants to bring with her out of the crib. This usually consists of a nana blanket, maybe a book, maybe a stuffed animal, maybe a pillow, or maybe all of the above.

She gets a diaper change and it is time for breakfast. Somedays we eat eggs, others waffles, another day pancakes, and sometimes a smorgasbord of fruits and other things. Sam usually arrives home around breakfast time. Today she brought donuts for them. Ella loves pink dipped donuts, not that she ever eats the donut. She loves the frosting, though.

Depending on the day, we either read books, turn on the TV or play with her toys. This is when I usually make myself and Sam something to eat. I made us scrambled eggs and had to make extra because the kids were eating all of Sam’s!

Sam almost always brings out an outfit for the kids to wear. We ventured out on our morning walk and looked for our puppy friends. She now knows just about every dog in the neighborhood’s name!

When we returned home, she began to read books. Most of the time they are books off her shelf.

After reading one of her favorites, she told me to sit down so she could read me a book. The book? The Weight Watcher’s Cookbook!

She kept calling the sandwich in the book (shown above) a cheeseburger!

While she is reading to be, my daredevil son continues to find ways to hurt himself. He’s been climbing, so Sam thought it was time to bring the swing/slide thing we got for Ella a few years ago back upstairs. Well he can climb it, he just hasn’t really figured out how to slide down yet. So he gets up there and starts shaking the one wall of it and eventually steps on the slide and falls off.

He truly has no fear. Today alone, he busted open his lip three times. None of those were from falling off the slide! He just tripped over stuff and fell on his face. I swear if we have to go to urgent care again, they will have to put in a window just for him.

Comedy continues to ensue with Ella. Today she grabbed her winter coat and winter hat and asked to wear them. She had me help zip up the coat and said, “I’m already for winter and then asked to watch Frozen.

We watched it like 7 times today. I will be singing “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” and “Let it Go” in my sleep tonight!

Lunchtime this week has brought the same answer to question, “What would you like for lunch today?” “Grilled cheese and crackers!” That answer has also been offered up to “What would you like for dinner?” and “What would you like for breakfast?” I’m glad that Andrew isn’t able to answer that question yet. When they both start asking for different meals, it’s gonna drive me crazy!

After lunch, it is nap time. Today, thanks to the neighborhood dogs and open windows, the nap was cut short. Shortly after wake ups, Sam woke up for work. She said some packages she ordered were on the porch and Ella went with her to get them.

They were the Halloween costumes they are wearing this year. I won’t say what they are here, but hers involves a dress. She wanted to wear it. Sam told her she had to wait until Halloween. This was not what she wanted to hear, so Sam offered up another dress for her. My friend from work gifted us some dresses that her daughter has grown out of. They are going to be perfect for holidays or family photos. Anyway, she spent the rest of the evening wearing one of those dresses.

Earlier I had thrown some chicken in the crock pot for dinner. Sam cooked up some buttered noodles to go with it for the kids. I took the chicken out and started cutting it up. I tried a piece to make sure it had cooled down enough and it tasted funny. I can’t even really descibe what it tasted like – but you know how they always say, “it tastes like chicken?” This didn’t. I wound up throwing it away.

After Sam left for work, Ella said she wanted a snack. So she handed me one of those applesauce pouches. Andrew got one, too. They both had like three of them! Ella kept asking for more and when I got her one, he wanted one, as well.

After playing with toys for awhile, more diaper changes were needed and it was pajama time. I was lucky enough to be able to get pajamas on her tonight. I really thought that she was going to want to wear the dress to bed! I’m sure I would have let her…

She took a book to bed with her, we said prayers and I closed her door. I brought Andrew with me and tried to rock him and sing him to sleep. He had the funniest case of the giggles and it took him forever to fall asleep. Once he was asleep, I put him in his crib and took a shower.

Reflecting back on the day:

7 outfit changes. 5 poop diapers. An unknown amount of pee diapers. 3 times sweeping the floor. 2 times picking up the same toys and putting the in the toybox. 2 times vacuuming. 7 viewings of Frozen. 3 busted lips. 8 bumps on the head. 12 crying fits. 2 bad pieces of chicken. 3 cheese omelets, 2 grilled cheese sandwiches. 3 video chats. 7,953 times I heard, “Daddy!” 2 sleeping kids.

Add it all up and it equals one amazing day for a very blessed Dad!

“Let It Go!”

fce99d35f8494ee4bd1abe6b7e10aabd

With the upcoming birth of our daughter, my wife will often quiz me on Disney Princesses. This will be my first daughter and princesses are kind of a big deal! When Sam is getting ready for work she will often listen to her Disney Pandora channel. When a song comes on, she will ask, “What’s this one from?” Sometimes, I get it right, and sometimes I get it wrong. I have titled this blog “Let It Go” because it ties in with Disney Princesses and the apology I am about to make.

Remember Dana Carvey’s “Grumpy Old Man” character on SNL?

SNL_0636_06_Update_4_Grumpy_Old_Man

I’m not sure I have been quite as obnoxious as that character, but I know that I have gone against so many of the things I have posted in the past few months. I guess this proves three things (1) I am human (2) practicing what you preach can be difficult and (3) I need to always remind myself to “Let it go”.

I know for a fact that I have been in a “mood”, because I haven’t blogged as often as I have wanted to. My mind has been preoccupied with BS that I cannot control. I’ve never been able to really meditate or do “mindfulness” stuff, maybe because I can never seem to find a place and a time where there are no distractions. I wish I could, that might help.

So today’s blog is an apology, mainly to my wife, who knew things were bugging me and made me aware of it. It is an apology to my friends, who I have called and vented and ranted and raved to. It is an apology to you, because I am not a hypocrite, and need to practice what I preach. It is also an apology to myself, because I should never have let myself get to this place. I know better.

Time is precious, as I have stated in past blogs, so why spend so much time wasting it on worthless bullshit? I guess I have spent so much of my life doing it, that it is a hard habit to break. I have come a LONG way, but I was reminded this week that it doesn’t just go away, I still have to keep working on it. I’m an old dog, and this is a new trick. I must constantly be aware of the techniques I have learned to cope with certain situations and certain people. I must consistently practice them, not only for my own sense of well-being, but for those around me.

So I have gone back to my many notes and have compiled a mini-list of ways to “Let It Go”. They include:

Stop Talking About It

StopTalking1

Complaining is almost a natural response to being upset. Talking about it constantly isn’t going to help me (or anyone). Complaining basically stimulates my mind to keep thinking about it. Many times, as I have learned in hindsight, complaining can make a small issue, bigger than it is. Hey, sometimes you gotta vent and get things off your chest, but I guess the key to it is to vent and move on. Once it’s talked about, be done with it.

Put It In Perspective

01-01-Perspective-_-Boat-Land-Perspective-714026

“What’s the most likely thing that can happen?” When you ask yourself that, you can see possible outcomes and even realize that you can get through it. We tend to think of the “worst case scenarios” and go there without ever considering the other perspectives. It’s hard to remember that you often think about would “could” or “might” happen instead of what actually will happen. A great practice I was told to try was to ask, “How much is this going to matter tomorrow?” “How much will this matter in a year?”

Let Go of Control

Letting-go-of-control

The old saying holds true here: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.” If life has taught us anything, it is that we cannot control the behaviors of others or the random events in life. What we CAN control is how we react or respond to those things! This is my biggest challenge. It is extremely difficult for me to use the “Gray Rock” method. I mean, I’m Italian, I talk with my hands! It goes against all that I have ever known, but I know that it’s the way to react to certain individuals.

Recognize the “Crazy”

mickey

How appropriate is Mickey Mouse here? Disney! It all ties in! LOL!

With some people, you simply have to remind yourself of WHO you are dealing with! I have to remind myself that they probably suffer from some sort of mental illness. Perhaps it’s Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Bi-Polar Disorder (the signs are there for both). This person is like an angry teen who needs control over everything. When they do not get their way, there is a meltdown. “You need to treat them like an immature child” I was told. So true.

Understand that these people need “you to be the enemy”. This only makes them look better to those who don’t know your side of the story. They will elaborate and create stories to make you look bad. It’s what they do. It’s part of the mental illness. You can’t control this, and I have already talked about the things you can’t control. If you can recognize the “crazy”, it will help you to deal with the craziness that comes with interactions with them.

I love Maya Angelou’s advice, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Recognize who they are!

Set Boundaries and End the Drama

In some cases, communication has to happen with certain people. When vocal communication gets hostile, whether on the phone or in person, the conversation needs to end. If this happens regularly, then communications need to be done through text or e-mail. This will avoid (1) one person interrupting (2) yelling and raising voices and (3) the need to say sarcastic or under the breath comments or insults. This will (1) allow for a “paper trail” of the communication (2) no contact communication and (3) allows for short and concise communication.

Set the boundaries and stick with them. Don’t let others take advantage of you, use you, or guilt you into doing things or thinking things. Be the constant!

Closing thought

Someone sent me a Facebook message recently that said “you can’t let the behavior of others steal your joy. But if you do, it’s your choice. Focus on being the best and happiest that you can be – that’s where your energy should go. Set the best example you can and spend time and energy on people who lift you higher.” There is a lot of truth in that.

So in the words of Elsa, “Let it go!”

Positive-Life-Quotes-How-To-Learn-Let-It-Go-Surprise