Friday Photo Flashback

There is plenty to dislike about social media. I know many people who have deleted accounts because of things like political posts, advertisements, censorship of their posts and stuff like that. I, on the other hand, really enjoy social media.

One of the reasons I love it is that I get to share in the excitement of my friends as they post first/last day of school photos, birthday and anniversary posts, as well as achievement and event posts for their children. As another school year winds down, there have been plenty of senior pictures, photos of last concerts, last ball games, club banquets, and this week a whole lot of prom pictures.

I remember my prom night like it was yesterday, despite having very few pictures from the evening. It is not because I didn’t take any, we certainly did. We even had professional ones taken. The problem is that they … let me say “disappeared.” I have a feeling a certain someone from my past decided to MAKE them disappear. She never cared that I was still friends with my date’s family.

I was lucky enough to stumble on one prom picture among a pile of photos I have in a box. I have to chuckle a bit as I look at my younger self.

The gal standing next to me was my date – Karen. She was the same age as my younger brother (A freshman). I knew her older sister really well as she was a year younger than me. For some reason, in our marching band parade set up, they put her next to me. She played flute and I played trumpet. I never understood why, but I’m glad she was there.

Throughout the marching band season, we chatted a lot. We made each other laugh and I genuinely enjoyed being with her. I don’t recall when I decided to ask her to prom, but I did and she said yes. I remember her asking if I was serious about taking her. I assured her I was. I am sure that her folks must have had a lot of reservations about a senior taking their freshman daughter to the prom!

My buddy Joe and I got a limo for the night, but only for after the prom. If I remember right, my dad drove us all there. It was at this beautiful golf course. I’m sure we danced, but I think we walked around the grounds a bit, too. After the prom, we drove around until all hours of the night. We had nowhere to go, but we drove around Detroit, along the water on Jefferson Avenue, I think we went over the Ambassador Bridge, we just drove around.

When I look at the picture above, I laugh at the fact that I had to have tails, a top hat, gloves and a cane! Could I look any more ridiculous!? Karen’s mother made her dress and I remember having to know what color it was to make sure my tie and cummerbund matched it. I remember how stunning she looked and being so excited to be taking her to the prom.

She may never read this, but if she does, she can correct me if I am wrong, but I believe when we decided to go to the prom it was an agreement that we were going just as friends. I am sure that is what both of us had in mind. As we drove around in the limo and talked, I noticed that Joe and his date had both fallen asleep. I do not recall if I had held her hand prior to this or not. What I am sure about is that when I took her hand in mine she didn’t push it away, and we held hands for some time.

At some point, we sat close to each other and just kind of held each other. My 18 year old heart was probably beating through my chest. I was single at the time and I really truly enjoyed her company. She had become a wonderful friend and I liked being with her. I’d like to believe that the first kiss we shared was a magnetic sort of thing that we both eased into, but I’m sure I was the one who instigated it. It was a pretty amazing moment and I kept hoping that our limo-mates would not wake up, so we could keep kissing.

It is sad to say, but I don’t remember if the limo dropped us off at Joe’s house and I took her home or if the limo took her home. What I do remember is thinking about her all night and well into the next day. At some point we decided to date and we did for some time after that.

She will always be a special friend to me and her family is like family. I have fond memories of that day, the dance, our relationship, and her family. I was lucky enough to DJ some of their family events and even officiated her older sister’s wedding.

They say every decision you make leads to an outcome. This was sort of the plot of the book the Midnight Library by Matt Haig. As a senior, I remember not really wanting to go to prom. It was the most expensive dance after all. Then there was the cost of a tux and such. I was barely making any money at the time, so I really was set on not going. The more she and I talked and laughed, the more I thought about asking her to go. I almost didn’t ask. I’m glad I did, though.

Something’s Missing!

Warning – Band Alumni Rant To Follow!

It is no secret to anyone who follows my blog that I am a Band Nerd through and through! I have many wonderful memories of playing in band when I was in school. Many memories surround the high school Homecomings.

Homecoming was always on a Saturday. We’d start the day in the morning by marching in the parade. There would be an hour or so break between the end of the parade and the actual homecoming game. After the game, we’d all go home to shower and get ready for the dance that would take place that evening. It was an all day event.

Sam had mentioned earlier in the week that the homecoming parade for our local high school was tonight. We talked about taking the kids to watch it. The route is a short distance from our house, so we all dressed and loaded up the stroller and walked to get a good spot.

From where we stood, we could look down the street to see where the parade would be starting from. At 5pm on the dot, I could see the drum major leading the band out onto the main drag. Local police and fire trucks were usually at the head of our homecoming parades, but this one had the band front and center.

As the band approached, I awaited the “roll off” which would ultimately prompt the band to play the school song. The school song was always a song played on parade routes for us. There was usually one or two other songs we’d rotate through as we marched. If we were marching in a holiday parade, we might have a Christmas song in there.

The band kept coming closer and there was still no music. I figured they were waiting for a spot full of spectators before playing. Our drum majors often did this. If there was a stretch with just a few people, we marched without playing. However, if there was a big line of people along the route, you could rest assured we were playing.

Then I noticed why there was no music – the band members didn’t even have their instruments! The only ones who did were the drummers. I was floored (and disappointed) by this. It was a beautiful day – sunny and about 65 degrees at parade time – why were they not playing? I couldn’t even fathom this.

The band walked by and were all chanting or yelling something. It was probably “Go Mustangs” or “Hurray for Clio” or something like that. Why wouldn’t you want to belt out the school fight song along the route? I don’t get it. You are at the front of the parade – it’s your time to shine. You have that golden opportunity to set the stage for everything else that follows, and you just walk on by. Heck, they may as well have been throwing candy into the crowd like everyone else did in my opinion. They were no different than the boy scouts sitting on a flatbed …

When I think of a band in a parade, I think of brass players right out in front with their notes piercing through the air and letting everyone along the parade route know they are coming! They are belting out the school fight song that alumni along the road can sing along with and little kids can clap along with. Maybe it’s just a great march from John Phillip Sousa to fire up the crowd before they all file into the stands to watch the grid iron competition. The band is such an important part of a parade.

When they plan the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, they choose 10-12 high school or university bands from across the country to perform. That, in itself, tells you of the importance of the presence of a marching band in a parade. Last year in the Detroit Thanksgiving parade, there were 5 bands that performed. Even in the Mickey Mouse photo above, the characters are playing musical instruments. To me, this says that a band is vital to a good parade.

I remember vividly that our band director, Tom Shaner, would take us out at least once during homecoming week to march around the neighborhood in preparation for the parade. It was always neat to see people standing on their front porches to watch us go by. The kids who were too young to be in school would watch us and jump around and dance to the school song. Marching bands and music make people smile!

By definition, Homecoming is a long-standing American tradition where colleges and high schools would welcome alumni back to campus and the community. So when I graduated, we got some of the old band gang back together to march in the homecoming parade. Mr. Shaner was more than happy to have us back. A highlight of getting ready for the parade was meeting together a few weeks before hand to rehearse music. With all of us sitting around in the band room, it was like old times.

That first year we gathered up quite a group with good instrumentation and we marched. We used to joke that we’d need oxygen at the end of the parade! For many, we hadn’t picked up our horns in months or years! We always counted on the newly graduated to sort of carry the older folks.

A buddy’s brother designed our logo to put it on sweatshirts so we could all sort of be in uniform. What a blast we’d have getting together every year. Once Mr. Shaner retired, the interest to get together started to fade. I sure do miss playing my trumpet in those parades.

I’m not 100% sure why the local band didn’t play in the parade. Perhaps there is a specific reason. I don’t know. As a former band student, I was disappointed – not only for me, but for my kids (and all the kids on the parade route). I wanted them to hear the sounds of the band! I’m also disappointed for the band members. What is there to remember about your homecoming parade if you weren’t playing a special piece of music? Even if all you played was the school fight song 5-10 times along the route – play something! What kind of memory is just walking along? What is a marching band without music? I guess it’s just a bunch of people walking ….

Friday Photo Flashback

It is time for another installment of my Friday Photo Flashback. This week – a picture I didn’t even know I had.

It certainly is not a great picture of me, but it does bring back memories. The background seems dark and things behind us are hard to make out, but the people in it stir up good memories.

From left to right front row: me, Karen, and Joe. Back row: Margaret and Steve

The photo was taken at my high school graduation party. I only know this because of the clothes we are wearing (thanks to other photos from the party). It is a snapshot of an ending and new beginning for us – the end of school and the start of “real life.”

1988. The people in the photo were my best friends. Jeff would also be included in that group, and there is another photo of all of us together somewhere. The only thing that would make this a perfect snapshot of my life at that time would be Jeff in it.

I spent so much time with all of these people in high school. We always seemed to be together. it wasn’t always all of us, but you could almost be that I’d be with at least one of them!

Steve and I were practically inseparable. We spent hours in the car driving and listening to tapes I had made to “cruise” with. I’ve always said we were like Jackie Gleason and Art Carney – Ralph and Norton. I think we drove each other nuts at times, but we truly were great friends … And still are. The day was bittersweet for us because I believe the day after this photo was taken, Steve left for basic training.

Joe and I hung out almost as much, but he was always the better student and actually did his homework. A lot of the time he’d be doing that so it was just Steve and I out causing trouble. There were many times, however, that we’d all hope in the car and drive around wasting gas. I think of the three of us as the Three Amigos, or maybe the Three Stooges is more accurate. We all played cards (Pinochle) together for hours on end. Now we try to find time between our work schedules to schedule a golf outing together…

Margaret and I were as close as Steve and me. I love that she has her arm around me in this picture. We never dated – even though our folks wanted us to – but it was almost like we did. We loved each other, but never in a romantic kind of way We went to movies, dances, and dinner together and our friendship continues to this day. She is Aunt Margaret to my kids and they love her just as much as I do.

Margaret and I used to talk for hours on the phone when were in school. We still do. Both of us have long drives to work and we often chat while driving. We still vent, laugh and cry with each other. Ours truly is an amazing friendship.

Karen and I had probably just started dating when this picture was taken. She was the same age as my brother and a Freshman when I was a Senior. For some reason, she stood next to me in parade formation in marching band. It was weird because I played trumpet and she was a flute player. Not sure why we were next to each other, but it led to our relationship.

I always tried to make her laugh when we were in marching band. I usually did. As prom approached, I kind of jokingly asked if she’d want to go. She surprised me and said yes. I remember Joe and I got a limo and I think we both had top hats. I think both Karen and Joe’s date wore blue dresses. All my prom pictures are gone now, so it is hard to remember. I do have vivid memories of that night, but that is really all.

We dated for about 5 years total with a short break in there somewhere. Karen was my first love. She wasn’t my first girlfriend, but my first serious one. We had a lot of wonderful memories. She’s married now and a wonderful mother. She works hard in the medical field and I still hear from her sisters and also am friends with some of her family on Facebook. I recently DJ’d her sister’s wedding and saw her briefly. I was glad to get to say hello.

I have some wonderful memories of that graduation party. My dad gathered up members of the wedding band he had played with and they all set up and played music at the party. My Uncle Tom played drums on some songs and did some singing of old blues tunes. My cousins also joined in and played drums and guitar. It was so cool. Steve, Joe, Jeff and I all got up and sang Weird Al’s parody of La Bamba (Lasagna) like a bunch of fools.

Of course, I think of the many folks who were there, who are no longer here. My mom, my grandparents, my great grandma, my great Aunt, Steve’s dad, Joe’s mom, and so many others. Thankfully they live on in photos and memories.

It seems to me as I look at this picture that we are posing for someone else’s photo. I wonder who might have been taking it. I would certainly love to see that one. Maybe I’m wrong, though. We all don’t seem to be looking the same way. Perhaps this is just an excellent candid picture. It’s a nice candid picture where I still have hair, big glasses, and am surrounded by some of the best people I’ve ever or will ever know.

Happy Marching Music Day!

Today is March 4th and it is Marching Music Day! According to the “National Day” calendar:

March forth to the rhythm of life on Marching Music Day every March 4th. Honor the dedicated musicians and performers of many diverse styles and backgrounds. Marching Music Day celebrates all varieties of art forms that bring us “music on the move.”

Drum Corps International founded Marching Music Day to celebrate marching music as an engaging and ever-expanding art form around the world. The day also celebrates Music In Our Schools Month. The observance chose March Fourth as a clever play on words.

For centuries, the beat of a drum has kept military units moving in unison. From the training field to the battlefield, the football stadium to the Broadway stage, marching music delights performers and spectators. They also perform in small gyms, auditoriums, and grand arenas. From small parades to impressive spectacles, fifers, pipers, buglers, drum corps, marching bands, parade groups, drill teams, and color guards bring music to life. They bring audiences to their feet while stirring a crowd to an enthusiastic roar.

Marching band was one of my favorite things about high school. Here is a link to one of my earlier blogs devoted to marching band.

I encourage you to share your memories of marching band or support your favorite “marchers” by using the hashtags #MarchForth and #MarchingMusicDay to show your support on social media.

Strike up the band!!

Christmas Memory – The High School Holiday Band Concert

If my memory serves me correct, our high school band played three concerts. The first was the Fall concert, usually in early November, which featured both Concert Band and Marching Band songs. The Spring Concert happened in mid-May, and usually featured some of the more “fun” songs. In between those, we had a holiday concert in December.

This concert featured both the Concert Band and the various choir groups. The band almost always opened the concert and would play every 5th or 6th song. I think the band may have played a total of 4 or 5 songs during the entire concert. My grandparents, who were at every band concert, disliked the Christmas concert. They didn’t like having to wait so long to hear the band play.

It wasn’t easy for us band kids to sit on the stage throughout the entire concert either. I want to say that the area of the stage that the band was on was darkened while the choirs sang. It didn’t stop some of the goofing off in the brass and percussion sections. I can recall the drummers dropping things more than one time while the choirs were singing. They would get the “evil eye” from our band director which basically said, “Cut it out!”

The concert always ended with Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus from Messiah. Our choir director would invite any alumni up to the stage to join in and sing. It was a perfect way to end the concert. The stage was already packed with the band and all the choir people, but we always made room for the various alumni singers.

The holiday concert my senior year was pretty special for me. I can’t recall if it was the entire trumpet section, but we all got to go up on the roof of the auditorium a half hour before the concert and play Christmas carols. They were arranged in 4 part harmony and it sounded so cool. I was lucky enough to direct the players. I can only imagine how cool it must have been for folks walking into the concert and hearing us from the roof.

As a kid, I stumbled on a Boston Pops Christmas album. It had many of the songs that would play over the PA system as you walked through K-Mart or Hudson’s during the holiday season. The first song on the album was an almost 9 minute medley of Christmas songs by Leroy Anderson called A Christmas Festival.

The song remains one of my favorites to this day. I used to grab a stick and crank this up in my headphones and “conduct” the orchestra in my room. For the holiday concert my senior year, we actually got to play it, which made it even cooler for me. I was so familiar with it already, but playing it was challenging. It was a tough piece. There were plenty of time signature changes and key changes, and some high notes. We also played the “band” version of it, which was a little different from the “orchestra” version. It was such a neat piece to play. One of the things I did after the concert was grab a copy of the conductor’s score so I could watch it as I listened to the record from home.

Give it a listen:

After we graduated, there were a few times that some of the alumni band got together to play Christmas carols in the lobby prior to the school’s holiday concert. I miss those days and miss playing my horn.

Psssst! Did you hear the latest?

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Dreaming about band class is not uncommon for me. It happens often. Many times it is a recurring dream – I blogged about that recently at the following link: https://nostalgicitalian.com/2019/06/19/recurring-dreams/

Yesterday, however, the dream involved something that I had pretty much forgot about. The dream took place before a football game. I know this because we were all in our marching band uniforms. As we walked into the band room, (arriving early – because “if you’re on time, you’re late!”) there was a music stand by the door. On the music stand was some sort of printed “newsletter” which was typed out using an old typewriter. You remember the old typewrite font??

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Every student anxiously went to the music stand to grab a copy and read through the latest “gossip.”

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I woke up and laughed. How had I forgotten something that all of us band kids looked forward to each week? Band Gossip was always a lot of laughs. Let me explain:

In our band room, there was a cabinet where you’d put your music folder in after class. There were slots for each folder. When the librarians added a new piece of music, they’d slide it into the slot for you to add to your folder.

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On top of that cabinet sat a shoebox. The shoebox was decorated with some sort of paper covering and had a hole cut out in the top of it. Written on the top in magic marker were the words: “Gossip Box.”

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Throughout the week, students would stuff the Gossip Box with Gossip. Some of it really was gossip, much of it was inside jokes and silliness. Students were only allowed to use first and last initials in reference to a person. Sections of the band were referenced, as was the band director. Prior to each football game, an announcement was made that “all gossip had to be in the box by the end of lunch.” Whoever was in charge of it (I don’t recall) went through the box, got rid of any repeats, weeded out those things that were cruel or mean, and then typed it up. Prior to football games or concerts, a new issue of “Band Gossip” was put out for every one to read.

I remember things like:

  • K.P. is the Stay-puffed Marshmallow Man.
  • The trumpets are fine!
  • Brass is Class!
  • I love the Muppets.
  • J.S. Show us how to get down!
  • Hey, H.S. Can’t wait to go to homecoming with you.
  • T.S. needs a new baton.
  • K.R. and S.J. are always up to no good.
  • Get outta here, B.H.!
  • S.K., Make sure you practice measure 19!!
  • Go Abes!
  • Ever notice the way J.K. wears Blue and Gold socks?
  • T.T. Watch that flag pole!
  • M.M. Rock your solo!
  • B.B. is spending a whole lot of time with D.S.
  • What’s in your locker, K.H.?

Pages and pages of stuff like that. We ate it up. All those little nonsense things written on whatever scrap of paper we could find, in hopes that it would show up in the next issue. Our director often had to tell us to put the gossip away so we could prepare for the game/concert.

It’s funny how something that I hadn’t thought about in over 30 years, can show up in dreams. In it I giggled and laughed with Steve, Joe, Margaret, and Stacey as we read the gossip about ourselves, our sections, and other band peeps. It was like it was 1988 all over again. I saw people in that band room that I haven’t seen in years. The grease board where our director wrote announcements was hanging in its place. The parkas were draped over chairs in case it rained. I had the sheet music for Rhapsody in Blue in front of me so I could run through my solo. Our Drum Major, Ronnie, stepping up to the podium to conduct us through the warm-up. Amazing little details in an amazing little dream.

When I woke up, I reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a pen and piece of paper and wrote “Band Gossip.” I had intended to save this for a future blog, but the images were so vivid, I sat and wrote this before work. I hate when I forget a good dream, and didn’t want to forget this one. In a way, that’s why I blog so many memories. I have a history of Alzheimer’s and dementia in my family, and by writing them down, I hope to preserve them for friends and family.

For my LHS classmates, I would love to know if I left out any details. What pre-concert or pre-game things do you remember. Share your memories or stories, please. I would love to hear them.

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Recurring Dreams

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As someone who works as a sleep technologist, I am often asked about dreams. Why do we dream? Can dreams really tell the future? What do dreams mean? The list of questions I get asked about dreams is a long one. There are many schools of thought about dreams. Take a psychology class and just the thoughts of famous psychologists alone could fill a book! The most common question I get asked about dreams is in regards to recurring dreams. “Do you ever have recurring dreams?” Yes. Yes, I do. “Why do we have those?” I have no idea. I wish I did.

I’ve never been one to put too much faith into “dream interpretation.” To me, it seems like it is often just someone’s opinion. Sometimes they make sense, but most of the time they just seem like some generic thing – like a horoscope. I may be wrong, and maybe there is something to it, but I really haven’t found it to be that way.

Recurring Dream #1

I have been having this one dream off and on for years, probably since I was about 10 years old. My brother and I are out in the backyard. Sometimes it is at our first house (at least I think that’s where it is), most of the time, however, we’re at my mom and dad’s. The old dog house that was there when we moved in is still in the back corner. The swing set is in the middle of the yard. It is no bigger than an average backyard.

While we are outside, the wind begins to pick up and dark clouds roll in. My mother will stick her head out the sliding glass door and call for us to come in because of storms. As I look up in the sky, a funnel cloud begins to form. (FYI: My grandmother told me all kinds of stories about tornadoes, which left me forever terrified of them) It is at this point that my brother and I begin to run toward the house. As we run, the yard begins to get bigger and bigger. It is like I am running and the house is moving farther and farther away.

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My brother is running behind me and I am holding his hand. I keep looking behind us as the funnel cloud begins to turn into a tornado. It is windier and we are fighting to get to the house. We get to the swing set and we are being pulled off the ground by the funnel. We are literally hanging on to the bars of the swing set so we won’t get sucked away by the tornado. My mom is screaming to us, but cannot get to us. As I lose my grip on the swing set – I wake up.

Recurring Dream #2

This is one that I have a bit more frequently than the tornado dream. I mentioned it on Facebook once and was surprised that I wasn’t the only one to have this kind of dream. This one is the “band dream.”

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While there are many variations of it, they are always very similar in nature: (1) I forgot my instrument at home and my band director is going down the line making every one play individually. (2) I have my instrument, but didn’t practice the piece and the band director is going down the line making everyone play individually. (3) I have my instrument, but don’t have my music folder. (4) I have my music folder and my instrument, but I suddenly cannot play the song we are working on.

The variations can also take place in different places: (1) Sometimes we are rehearsing in the band room. (2) Sometimes we are on stage at a concert. (3)Sometimes we are playing at band festival. (4) Sometimes we are on the football field and we are in marching band. (5) Sometimes we are marching in a parade.

Our band director was a man who I had great respect for. I think we all did. He was a good leader and taught us many lessons. He was strict and stern. You always tried to be prepared for class. Sometimes you weren’t and he knew it. I remember this one song that had a simple chromatic scale at the beginning of it. It was a fast tempo song, so if you didn’t practice it, you could easily blow it. We all started the song, started it again, and again until finally he pulled out the grade book and made every one of us play it. You either played it right and passed or played it wrong and failed. I failed it.

In the dream, all the old band classmates are there. I can’t really look at them and say what year it is. Many times its just all the people who were in band at one time or another. There is often things going on that are just weird – like bubbles coming out of clarinets or water coming out of the tuba. Many times we are rehearsing songs I remember playing while in band. Other times we are working up songs I have never heard. Sometimes famous people are in the dream rehearsing with us. There is no specific or common ending to the dream.

While this dream can often cause me to feel anxiety, I usually wake up from the “band dream” chuckling at the absurdity of what was in it. I also wake wishing that I could go back to those days when I still played well. I can barely make a sound on my trumpet today. I miss playing in band. It was, one of my favorite things about high school.

Sweet Dreams

I probably have one or two other recurring dreams, I just forgot them right now. I’ll remember them after I have them. I don’t know what makes me dream these same dreams. I don’t know what prompts them. I have always found dreams to be very cool. They can be very real! They can make you feel real emotions. Every once in awhile, they can be a little too real.

Other times, a dream, which you can’t explain, can make you look back at it and wonder. I had one of those too. When I was going through my divorce, I had a ton of stress. I woke up crying one night after having a dream. I dreamt my mom was talking to me. I was upset. She looked at me and said, “It’s going to be alright, honey. You are going to come out of this and things will be just fine.”

She was right!

What are your thoughts on dreams? I’d love to hear them.

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31 Years Ago

The year is ….

1988

  • Ronald Reagan is President of the United States.
  • It cost 24 cents to mail a letter.
  • A gallon of gas was 91 cents.
  • The Washington Redskins beat the Broncos in Super Bowl XXII
  • The Winter Olympics were held in Calgary.
  • The average yearly salary was $24,500.
  • The LA Dodgers beat the Oakland A’s in the World Series.

1988 movies included Rain Man, Die Hard, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Big, A Fish Called Wanda, and ….

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1988 music included:

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…and Sweet Child O’ Mine from Guns ‘N Roses, too!

It was also a very special year for me …

Always an Abe!

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I was reminded by Facebook’s “Memories” feed that it was 31 years ago this week that I graduated from Lincoln High School. (25 years later – to the day – I would graduate from college.) It’s hard to believe that it has been that long. Some days I can’t remember where I put my car keys, but I can remember graduation day like it was yesterday!

The ceremony always happened outside, unless it rained. If it rained, less people from your family could attend, because it was moved indoors to the auditorium. Luckily, the weather cooperated June 9, 1988, and we walked the stage outside in the stadium. The band performed some songs prior to things getting started. As a senior, we played through most of them. I remember conducting a number – it was called Tin Pan Alley. That is a memory I will never forget.

At the required time, the seniors left the band to go line up to walk in (to Pomp and Circumstance). I will always remember in the days leading up to graduation, sitting in band class and the seniors having to “sit out” during a number because we weren’t going to be there when they played it. Sitting in class listening to Pomp and Circumstance while the underclassmen played it was weird. It was then that I knew exactly how the seniors the year before felt when they had to listen while we played it.

I remember someone telling me that your senior year will go fast – they were right. There were times I wish there was a pause button. It was my favorite year of high school hands down. Our football team was undefeated. I had a solo in the marching band show. I went to all the dances and the prom. I got my first new car and spent many hours with my friends driving around listening to mix tapes I had made.

Things I Miss Most

It’s 31 years later and there are times I wish I could go back. There are so many things I miss about high school:

Friday Night Football Games. Yes, I miss playing in the Halftime Show, but I also miss watching our boys win! My classmates were always out their playing hard, and as I said, were undefeated my senior year. Coach Jim Benefield was the BEST! Hands down.

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Movies in Class. Whenever you walked into a class and saw the TV and VCR, you were instantly excited. Even if it was some dumb educational film, it was a welcome event!

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School Holidays. Winter Break! Christmas Break! Extra days surrounding other holidays! We had a lot of extra time off! And who can forget Summer Vacation?! In some countries, extra days off and built in vacation time is looked at as a must. Productivity in those countries are high and workers are happy. Sadly, once you graduate, you seem to work to death and often have to fight to get time off! I miss those holidays!!

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Yearbooks. There was a time where you didn’t know what your picture looked like until the teacher passed them out. 9 times out of 10, mine came out looking terrible. Even Picture Retake Day didn’t help! There are plenty of bad yearbook pictures of me! There are also plenty of other kids with bad yearbook pictures. Today, I love sitting back and reading the things people wrote in my yearbook.

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Less Responsibilities. This holds true for most adults. We tend to look back at the days of ‘freedom”. Who wouldn’t want to be in a position to not worry about whether or not you have enough money to pay bills?!

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Working While Going to School. My first job was at a boat marina. They worked around my crazy band and school schedule. I don’t remember the hourly rate, but I do remember getting a check for $150-$250 every two weeks. It was like “mad money”. I used it to buy albums, tapes, books, and gadgets. I really had no bills, and a teenager rarely saves money.

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Passing Notes. Long before texting, we used to write notes and pass them back and forth in classes and in the hallways. Sometimes, I’d get caught passing one in class. I did most note passing in the hallway. Many times it was just stupid gossip, a drawing, or the “Do you want to go to the dance – check yes or no” type note. Some folks even got real creative about the way the notes were folded, too!

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Lockers. I am sure my locker partner, Joe (who was always good at numbers), can remember our locker combination! I remember it was outside the library, under the clock, on the second floor. I rarely used it after freshman year. I kept most of my books in the band room or in a backpack. A lot of girls decorated the inside of their lockers, and on game days, they often decorated the lockers of the football players. I think my locker was basically a storage place for whatever I didn’t want to take home.

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Less Technology. I’ll be the first to admit that I am connected to my phone today. But, back in school, we weren’t connected to it. We talked to people. We had to use the card catalog to find books and encyclopedias to write reports. We used maps. We watched film strips! We had to thread the film projector. We rewound tapes to listen to a song again. Yeah, technology is great, but there were advantages to not having it too.

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Field Trips. You had to have your permission slips! I never did the Washington DC trip. I did do a Florida Trip to Disney. I also loved those little trips to places like the Detroit Science Center or Cranbrook. I remember having my mom chaperone a couple times. Field trips were probably more frequent in elementary and middle school, but the ones in high school were always great fun!

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Young Love. As you flip through a yearbook, you can often see those high school romances (the ones that lasted, and the ones that didn’t). I know a few people who married their high school sweetheart and they are still together!! That’s amazing! With young love comes hurt in many cases. I witnessed that at a prom I DJ’d recently. I remember seeing this guy sitting on the floor with his face in his hands and I thought, “I know how you feel, pal.”

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Dances/Prom. It wasn’t until high school that I even attended a dance. It always seemed like it was just me and a few friends going to get out of the house. We never danced with anyone, we sat and talked and listened to the music. We walked around and drank that really crappy punch that always seemed to be the drink provided. I remember going to Homecoming with a gal who asked me. I had no idea even how to dance! After that night, though, I realized dancing with girls was a whole lot more fun than sitting eating those stale mints and drinking that punch! I remember using some of the money I was making at that boat job to rent a tux and go in on a limo for the fancier dances.

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Teachers. No surprise here. Go back and read some of the many blogs I have written about the teachers I had in high school. They were the best! Mr. Shaner, Mr. Benefield, Mr. Balos, Mr. Yanoulaki, Mrs. Carter, Mrs. Beltz, Mr. Harvey, the list goes on and on. I am friends with many of them on Facebook. I am also friends with other teachers who I never had in class, but always respected and made an impact on me. I was lucky to know them in high school – and after!

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Friends. My core group of friends and I have pretty much stayed in touch since high school. With My Space and Facebook, I have been able to reconnect with those I lost touch with. That’s one thing about technology that I am ok with. A downside to this is that since we all are connected on Facebook, our chances of a real reunion probably won’t happen (Not that we ever really had one – we didn’t. We tagged along with the Class of ’89 once, but nothing official for my class.) What was great about high school is that you always saw your friends every day. It was always extra cool when they were in the same class as you. The ones that weren’t, you couldn’t wait to meet them in the hall to tell them about something silly that happened or to plan something for after school. I miss that, but at the same time, when I am finally able to hook up with a friend on the phone or on social media, I enjoy picking up where we left off.

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The Future. In high school, the future seemed so unclear. There were infinite possibilities. Your career path had not been chosen yet. There was a blank canvas for you to paint on. You had so many choices. You were in control over what you did next. The future was bright and it was something to look forward to. I’m not saying that 31 years later, I have no future, I do. It’s just different to look at it and know that the future is a bit more narrow since there is a lot less time ahead of me. I can still look ahead and know that there are a lot of good things awaiting me. I still look forward to the future, but I am looking at it through eyes that have seen more than an 18 year old. I have experienced more hurt. I have seen more cruelty and negativity. I have seen more dishonesty and hatred. I have lived through much difficulty. I look at the future a bit more cautiously now than I did at 18. I am smarter now, I hope.

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Final Thoughts

Would I love to go back to the days of my youth? Would I love to have less responsibility, no bills, and have more time to just have fun? Yes. Without a doubt! However, if I were to go back to those days, I would live through some hurtful times, through depression, and shame. I would likely make some of the same bad decisions. I would make the same mistakes, maybe more.

Truth is, if I had the opportunity to go back and change things, I probably wouldn’t. Anyone who has watched Back to the Future or any time travel movie knows that all it takes is one small change to change everything else in the future. Would I like to go back and erase embarrassing moments? Would I like to go back and take back words I said in anger? Would I like to correct a mistake? Sure. But if I did that, it changes where I am today.

Yeah, I went through some real crappy times, but they all brought me to where I am today. Today, I am a happily married man. I have an amazing wife. I have two wonderful sons. I have some of the most amazing friends. I have a loving family. Life is good. Why would I want to change it?

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Questions and Answers #3

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The Facebook “Memories” feed can be a good thing or a bad thing.  Sometimes, I am reminded of times in my life where I was just going through the motions, pretending that all was right in my world, when it wasn’t.  Sometimes I get sad to see picture of my son’s as toddlers and am reminded of how fast they grow up.  Sometimes, I will smile at things from my past radio career and sometimes I smile as I see reminders of the good things that have happened over the past few years.

This blog is just over a year old, and this week I was reminded by Facebook that I asked my Facebook friends to ask me questions they wanted me to answer.  I looked back through my blogs and realized that the last time I did a “Q&A” blog was in October, so I once again asked for Questions…..what follows is the answers to those questions.  (If a non-Facebook friend and follower ever has a question you’d like answered, feel free to ask in the comments.)

Melanie

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Melanie was my next door neighbor in Flint, MI.  Our street was literally behind K-Mart.  Her question, which was probably meant as a joke, is “Do you miss living behind K-Mart in Flint?”  I say she probably meant it as a joke, because the neighborhood, which used to be a very nice one, is a far cry from what it used to be.  The crime level in that part of town is much higher than it was when we were living there.

I have to be honest, I do miss that house.  It was the first home I ever bought.  It is also the home I brought my first son home to.  I remember painting the nursery in tan and putting up all the Noah’s Ark themed borders, building the crib, etc.  I remember watching my dad and son play catch in the backyard.  I remember my mom, who was still in the middle of her cancer treatments, laying on the floor and playing with my son.  I have so many great pictures of her with him in that house.

I remember the old shed in the back and the swing set I built for him.  I remember almost setting the house on fire with the barbecue and ripping out the fence that was between our house and Melanie’s old house.  I also remember pulling my son in his birthday wagon around the neighborhood on summer days.

I also remember the great neighbors we had.  As I said, Melanie and her husband lived next door and were always good neighbors.  On the other side, Jerry lived there with his daughter Terry Sue.  Her kids Jerry and Stephanie would often come over and they’d play with my son.  I would often talk with their Aunt Diane, too, who lived just down the street.  Jerry was a nice man.  He was always willing to loan me a tool if I needed one, or help me with my lawnmower.  He’d often be the guy who cleared my driveway with his snow blower in the winter.  Sadly he passed away shortly after we moved in.

Next to Jerry was Harry and Myrt.  They were an elderly couple who were from down south.  Harry loved to talk politics.  Myrt always made us candy at Christmas time.  You could always find them on the porch drinking sweet tea, and always a pleasure to talk to.  Another elderly couple lived across the street when I first moved in, Ed and Margie.  They were such great people, he was always riding his bike around the neighborhood and always smiling.  We were so sad when he and Margie passed away.

When Melanie moved away, we were blessed with another wonderful couple as neighbors – Jamie and Jason.  Their plan was much like ours, this house was kind of our starter house and we had hoped to move once our son came.  They moved before we did and that was when things started to go bad.  Their old house had a milk chute.  It was next to their side door.  The guy who moved in was probably about 24, and he was up at all hours of the night.  He was renting the house from his aunt and we found out he was using the house to sell drugs.  There were people up and down the driveway all night.  They’d drop their order in the milk chute and come back to get it later.  He never threw anything away and there were bags of trash all over the back yard.  I’m still not sure what exactly happened to the guy, but he suddenly disappeared.  I have heard rumors, but never really found out more.  It wasn’t long after that, we moved away.

James

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Again, probably meant as a joke, but he wants to know my “take on breakdancing”. Here is my take – I can’t do it.  I can do the Curly Shuffle and the Box Step (thanks to high school gym class).  I am amazed that people can do this.  There is talk of it being an Olympic Event, so it must something that interests people.  If I had the chance to take dance lessons, I would opt for ballroom dancing over break dancing.

Marcia

Marcia is a dear friend from elementary school and always loves to ask questions.  Today, she asks “Who was your favorite teacher at Carlson (our school) and why?”

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I moved to the district in 2nd grade.  Any time a kid moves and had to change schools, there is stress involved.  I remember Mrs. Cook being a very sweet lady and made the transition much easier.  I only had her for about half a year, and remember that I liked her very much.  However, if I had to pick a favorite elementary school teacher, (meaning someone who’s class I was in) it would have to pick Mrs. Gallop.

I remember her being very fun.  While I don’t remember many specific things, I remember she made me laugh a lot.  I had a great respect for her and I remember not wanting to ever disappoint her.  Two distinct memories I have of her class both involve reading.  I remember she read many books to us.  It was one of my favorite things about the class.  I remember her reading us “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing” by Judy Blume.  There was a sequel she read to us to about the main character’s brother Fudge.  She always was very animated when she read them.  I have those books on my shelf, as I bought them for my sons.

I also remember her reading James and The Giant Peach by Roald Dahl.   I remember there was a swear word in it (ass or damn, I think) and she prepped the whole class.  “There is a bad word in this story.  I really don’t want to read it, but if I do, remember that it is not nice to say words like that.”  When she said it, some gasped and some chuckled.  She just kept on reading …

Fourth grade was probably my favorite elementary school year.  Mrs. Gallop was instrumental in that.  She was so much fun and made learning fun.  Years after I graduated, I was working for the district as a custodian part-time.  She had moved up to either principal or assistant principal at the middle school.  She was in her office and I remember walking in and saying hello.  I told her she probably wouldn’t remember me, but when I told her my name, she said “Of course I remember you.  You had just got your glasses over the summer and you told me that you were so glad you could see the board, and your friends, and me!”  How she remembered that, I really don’t know.  I assumed she was just saying she remembered me to shut me up, but I had gotten my glasses over the summer, so she remembered.

I may or may not have looked for her on Facebook, some teachers who have Facebook accounts don’t use it to connect to former students.  At any rate, she is not my friend on there.  I have written about teachers in the past, and I firmly believe that they make a difference each and every day in the lives of their students.  They play such an important role.  She was such a wonderful lady and I was lucky that I was in her class.  If any teachers from the district still keep in touch with her, please let her know that I am forever grateful for the laughs, the learning, and for making me feel like I mattered.

Joseph

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Joe is one of my oldest friends.  We met in band class in junior high.  One of the things we have in common is our love for music.  No surprise that his question is “What was your favorite piece of music to play in band?”  I responded and asked if he meant concert or marching band.  He said it was my choice and that he would “go easy on” me.

Trying to pick one song out of four years worth of music is quite a task.  I thought about it a lot before writing this.  I have narrowed it down, but cannot pick just one.  I also looked at both marching band and concert band separately.  I hope you don’t mind, Joe, but here are the Top 5 for each:

Concert Band

5 – The Seventies Medley

4 – Armed Forces Salute

3 – Hall of Fame March

2 – Tin Pan Alley

1 – Four of a Kind

Marching Band

5 – Washington and Lee Swing (for sentimental reasons)

4 – Artistry in Rhythm

3 – Doggin’ Around

2 – We Got the Beat

1 – Sing, Sing, Sing

It was far from easy to do this, Joe!  I also realize I can probably write an entire blog about this.

Vince

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Vince asks a question that I used to get often when I did Career Day presentations at schools while working in radio.  He says, “Radio call in prizes … Ex: Caller #20 wins tickets …. are they legitimate? If yes, is there a strategy to calling in?”

The quick answer (at least in my experience) is yes.  Before I explain, let me talk a bit about contesting.  When I first started in radio, access to the internet was not really a thing.  We used to have many trivia books and often asked musical questions or questions we found in those trivia books to give away prizes.  When Trivial Pursuit came out, we had the boxes of questions in the studio to ask.  It’s hard to do those kind of things today because so many people can Google the answers and it is just not fun to do any more.  I’m not sure why the “be caller # ___” contests have become so popular, to be honest.  I really dislike those contests.  There is no entertainment value to it at all – and it is not fun for the DJ.  When I was at Kiss-FM, we had 6 requests lines, today, it’s usually 3.  So the DJ has to literally answer the phones, “You’re caller number 1 (click) you’re caller number 2 (click) you’re caller number 3 (click)” and so on….

Many stations use their frequency to pick the caller number – 95.5 looks for the 95th caller, 89X looks for caller 89, etc.  How is this entertaining for the listeners who are not playing?  The answer is – it isn’t.  As far as a strategy, I don’t know of any.  Back in the day, you used “speed dial” to get in and just keep redialing.  Today, with cell phones, there is no speed dial.  It’s the luck of the draw.  There are people who we call “contest pigs” who literally sit and listen for radio contests up and down the dial.  They spend all day dialing to win prizes.  There are two things radio DJ hate about those winners – first, when they tell you “I was caller 1, 7, 18, 33, and ….” we usually edit that out of the call for play back on the air.  We don’t want other listeners to know that they couldn’t get through because you and your family were monopolizing the phone lines.  The other thing we hate is when we finally get a winner for a very cool prize and they act like they could care less.  “Hey, Vince!  You just won $15,000!” and their response is an unemotional “Gee, thanks.  Do you like write me a check or something for that?”  That’s the response you expect from “Congrats!  You just won a free taco and tickets to the flower show.”

I don’t do radio full-time any more, so contesting is a bit different now.  Many stations run company wide contesting now.  They’ll tell you this in their promo mentions.  Basically, a company who owns stations throughout the country, all the stations are giving away the prize and all the listeners from all the stations have a chance to win it.  The odds are just a tad worse than when there is a local contest.

Aaron

Of all the questions asked, Aaron asked the most difficult: “If you had to pick your top 5 or 10 1980’s (your choice) movies for a must see list what would they be?”

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For the record, I literally went year by year from 1980-1989 thinking I could narrow it down to 5 or 10.  Then I thought “I can’t do this!” and thought if I divided it into genre, I could make it easier.  That actually made it more difficult.  If anything, it made me realize how many great movies were made in the 80’s.  It also made me realize that some could easily fall into more than one genre.

So, Aaron, from my list here are some “must see” flicks from each year:

1980 – Airplane!, The Blues Brothers, Caddyshack, The Shining, Somewhere in Time, The Empire Strikes Back

1981 – Arthur, Cannonball Run, History of the World Part 1, Night Hawks, Private Lessons, Porky’s, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Stripes, Zorro – The Gay Blade

1982 – 48 Hours, Creepshow, ET, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

1983 – A Christmas Story, The Dead Zone, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Trading Places, War Games, Doctor Detroit

1984 – Beverly Hills Cop, Footloose, Ghostbusters, Johnny Dangerously, The Karate Kid, The Natural, Police Academy, Revenge of the Nerds, Terminator

1985 – Back to the Future, The Breakfast Club, Clue, Fletch, A View to a Kill

1986 – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Golden Child, One Crazy Summer, The Three Amigos, Top Gun, The Color of Money, Aliens

1987 – Good Morning Vietnam, Fatal Attraction, La Bamba, No Way Out, Planes Trains and Automobiles, The Princess Bride, Robocop, The Untouchables, Adventures in Baby Sitting, Spaceballs

1988 – The Naked Gun, Rain Man, Scrooged, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Coming to America, Big, Beetlejuice

1989 – Batman, Dead Poet’s Society, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Weekend at Bernie’s, Tango and Cash, UHF, Uncle Buck

After spending way too much time trying to sort them….It was just easier that way.  I had hoped to expand on all of these.  I am sure that I left MANY off.  I even edited the edited list to get to these.  Some of them are on the list because they are personal favorites.  How about you, Aaron (or any other reader)…if you had to pick 5 or 10, could you do it??

Thanks to those who sent questions!  It’s always fun for me to answer them!

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Monday Memory – Pranked

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It’s April Fool’s Day. In honor of this, I thought I would share a funny story in which I was the victim of a funny prank. It’s funny now, but at the time, I didn’t find it funny at all. My memory is a bit fuzzy on some of the details, but I am sure my friends will be more than happy to fill in details or correct me if I mess up details.

The TP Bandits

One of the highlights of my senior year of high school was going out toilet papering. We’d go to the store, buy 12-24 rolls of toilet paper and go out and hit some friend’s house. I don’t know how or why this became the “thing” to do, but we did it. If it was your birthday, you could almost count on your house being hit.

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There were groups that went out together: 1) The Cheerleaders, 2) The Jocks, 3) The Choir Kids, and 4) The Band Kids (and there were sometimes groups within the groups). We belonged to a sub-group of Band kids. We called our group The TP Bandits. There was never a doubt that we were the ones who hit your house. We had printed up (on a crappy dot matrix printer) signs that read “You have just been TP’d by the TP Bandits.” There was a cheesy and terrible graphic of two cowboys on it. We usually left it in the mailbox. I got a megaphone for Christmas one year, and it was not odd for us to yell something like “Love ya, Babes!” to whoever’s house we hit.

I am sure that Toilet Paper stocks went up that year. It was completely out of control! My dad would always wake up the next morning and come in to wake me up by saying something like, “So, your friends were here again last night. Looks like you’ve got some cleaning up to do!” Because we went out a lot, I got TP’d a lot. It was like that scene in The Godfather where Sonny is explaining how “they killed Luca, so we hit them back and killed ….” If you went out and TP’d – you could expect to get it back.

It wasn’t just houses, either. There were plenty of times where we TP’d cars. Many times, we’d do it when the friend was at work. My friend Diana always reminds me of the time we got her car while she was working at Frank’s Nursery. She’ll have to remind me, but I think she had left her car unlocked and I think we TP’d INSIDE it! I am almost positive I remember TPing around her rearview mirror.

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The Prank

As best as I can remember, we went to one of the colleges (I think it was CMU) to watch a football game. It was an optional trip and the whole reason we went was so we could watch the band’s half-time show. I don’t remember if it was something that you had to pay to go to, but that was probably the case. Because of that, I remember that not all of my friends were going on the trip. I would soon learn why.

I remember the buses turning into the parking lot at the high school (and here is where my friends may need to refresh my memory) and noticing something on my car. My memory is not clear here, but as I remember it, there were empty toilet paper rolls on my radio antenna (I do not think they had TP’d the car). It was at that moment that I knew that I was in for it when I got home.

I am not 100% positive on this, but I think my friend Joe was the mastermind of the whole thing. I remember getting in the car and heading home. As I turned onto my street, I could see the streams of TP waving from the tree in front of my house. The closer I got, the more I realized that it was MUCH more than that! The lawn was white – like it had been covered with a layer of snow. Branches were wrapped completely and so was the tree trunk. The front yard and back yard had been covered in toilet paper.

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As I drove by, there were friends sitting up on the roof awaiting my arrival. They were waving and smiling and I was furious! I called my mom from an ancient Nokia cell phone and she answered with a smile, “Hi, baby. Where are you?! You have guests here!” I remember asking if they had gone into my bedroom and she told me I’d have to come home to find out. I had lots of memorabilia in there and I was worried that something might get broke. I couldn’t believe that she had let them in my room.

Joe had asked my mother if they could come over while I was away to “decorate”. My mom must have thought this was a hilarious idea, because she let it happen. I am guessing if he had asked my dad, he would have told him to get lost along with some words of profanity. I am sure my mom probably helped string some toilet paper around, too that day!

When I finally got up the courage to return home, my friends were still up on the roof. There was one of those contruction barriers with the flashing light on it. They had painted it all white and in big black letters painted “Love Ya, Babes!” I am sure that Derek was solely responsible for that!

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I got out of my car and looked around as I walked into the house. I gotta tell you, it was a masterpiece! I was impressed at their work. It was beautiful. It was the kind of TP job you wish you had time to do! Word is that the police stopped at the house more than one time and my mom was right out there to tell them it was totally fine with her! I can only imagine the talk back at the police station that day.

The “piece de resistance” of the job was what they did to my bedroom. As I turned the corner to go into my room, I looked into my doorway and saw nothing but newpapers! There was literally a pile of newspaper coming out the door! They had blown up hundreds of balloons, laid those down first, and then crumbled up newspapers and put them in the room to make it look like they had filled the room floor to ceiling with newspapers!

As angry as I was at my mom for letting it happen, I smile about it now. That was the way she was. She knew that I had done more than my fair share of TPing around the city, and this was the ultimate payback! I am sure she was filled with excitement at the thought of having a bunch of the gang over to do it and probably laughed the entire time. That’s one of the reasons so many people loved her – she loved a good joke and this certainly was one!

I came to find out that more people were in on the joke than I thought. Even kids who were on the trip were aware that it was happening while we were there! I was the brunt of many jokes that following school day! I was red-faced, but not because of sunburn. I carried the embarrassment with me throughout the day. It seemed like every one, even those who weren’t in band, knew of the prank and were talking about how cool my mom was for letting it happen!

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It is the best prank that has ever been pulled on me to date – and it wasn’t even done on April Fool’s Day! For my friends who were there: What details did I leave out? For my friends who weren’t: What was the best prank ever pulled on you?

FYI – these pictures are NOT of the job they did. I’m sure someone has some, but I sadly, do not.