I can still remember feeling humbled and honored when she asked me. My friend Margaret was expecting her first child. She asked me if I would be the baby’s Godfather.
This would have been right around the time I was dating my ex, not yet married. I had no idea what a wedge my ex would put between Margaret and me. I also had no idea how my ex would keep me away from my Goddaughter, too.
Marissa was a beautiful baby. As crazy as it sounds, there was a lot of pressure on us Godparents the day of her baptism. I was well versed in America’s Funniest Home Videos where the baby slips out of a Godparent’s arm into the baptismal or the Godparent gets peed on.
Thankfully, it all went off without a hitch. This photo is of Margaret, her ex-husband, me and Marissa outside the church. I don’t know that I have a photo of me holding her on that day, which is sad.
I lost many years with Margaret and Marissa because of my ex. It was obvious that she did not care for Margaret. So because of that, she made it impossible for us to ever get together.
After my divorce and remarriage, I was so glad that Margaret and I picked right up where we left off. This also led to a reconnection with my Goddaughter.
I love this photo, but it reminds me that there should have been years worth of pictures of the two of us …
While she has been mentioned before in a few blogs, I have one friend who has never had one completely devoted to her. Today, on her birthday, I want to rectify that.
As we get older, memories tend to fade. Details can get lost. We may remember things a bit differently than they actual happened. That’s one of the reasons I try to put things down here on my blog, to preserve those memories. Earlier this week, I focused on music from 1982, which is where we have to go for the beginning of my friendship with Margaret.
In our school district, there were like seven or eight elementary schools. So when we merged together in 7th grade, we met a whole lot of new people and made many new friends. I am sure that Margaret and I had more than just one class together in 7th grade, but I just don’t really remember anything but band class.
I can almost bet that I was the one who started talking to her. I remember thinking that she was pretty and so I bugged her a lot. I know that I drove her crazy. I was a pest. FYI – junior high Keith was a real dork. Yet, she was sweet and talked to me. Before the summer, we swapped phone numbers. I spent a lot of time on the phone talking to her in 7th and 8th grade. This was in the days before “call-waiting” and it drove my mom crazy that I tied up the phone. I’m sure her folks felt the same way.
I remember passing notes in the hallway in school. Recently she sent me a picture of one that I wrote her. It was folded and read “To: A sexy girl I just happened to see walking down the hall and is my bestest friend. From: Some Goon.” I laughed. It was totally something I would write. I’m sure there was little or no content in the letter, more than likely it read, “This class sucks. What are you doing later? Steve broke my trumpet today,” or something like that.
Our friendship grew throughout high school. We became very close. I think her folks, my folks, and certainly my grandparents wanted us to date, but we had a very special friendship and that was fine with us. We never dated, but went on dates, if that makes sense. We went to a few dances together in school (Homecoming, Snowball Dance). After one of those dances, I remember we were sitting in her driveway and ready to wrap up the evening. We had been talking and knowing that she was going to go in the house, we both sat there for a minute. I’m pretty sure I was the one who moved in for a kiss, and as we got close to each other, we both started laughing. We just knew that we’d never be more than friends.
We both had Ford Escorts our senior year of high school. She tried to teach me how to drive a stick shift in hers in the school parking lot. I just wasn’t getting it and most likely burned out her clutch. She got me back one day, though. I was in the band room early, as I always was. She came busting through the band room doors and said, “Where’s Keith!!??” I came out of the band library and she was crying saying, “I hit your car!” The parking lot was icy and she slid into the bumper of my car and caused it to dent in. It was really nothing and we both laugh about that to this day.
Margaret was always smarter than me. She was in the higher math and English classes. She was always getting her homework done (unlike me). She did like to cause trouble occasionally. I am sure that I blogged about this before, but Margaret, Ronnie and I all went out to TP our friend Steve’s house for his birthday. After the job, we stood on his front lawn and looked up at his bedroom window and sang “Happy Birthday.” As we turned to run away, the three of us were grabbed by a couple policemen who threw us in the back of their police cruiser. I think we all thought we were going to jail! Graduation wasn’t too far away and I remember freaking out! Steve’s mom smoothed it over for us and we were all let go – to clean up our mess.
After high school, she was off to college and would go on to become a nurse. She got married and had children before I did. At this point, let me quote from an earlier blog (1/1/2020):
When her daughter, Marissa, was born she asked me to be her Godfather. I was honored to do it. A Godfather is a very important role for an Italian. When I got married the first time, sadly, I saw less and less of Margaret and my Goddaughter. Whenever I was supposed to get together with them, I was always informed that we couldn’t go or we had something to do with my ex’s family. (If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you are well aware of the narcissism that I dealt with and how miserable my life had become.)
After the divorce, Margaret was one of the first to reach out to me. She completely understood what was going on. Her forgiveness meant everything to me. I hurt her. I was hurt, too. I lost many years of our friendship, and I lost so many moments with my Goddaughter. After all of that, Margaret (and many other friends) had every right to just stop talking to me, but our friendship meant so much, that we have picked up where we left off.
When I attended my Goddaughter’s 21st birthday party, I pulled her aside and apologized for missing so many important things in her life. How do you explain that to someone? As I looked back on the past, my stomach was in knots. I was sickened to think of how I must have made so many people feel. She didn’t bat an eye, however, and told me she loved me and we all enjoyed a great evening! I remember driving home from her party crying my eyes out. It wasn’t fair to her that I missed so many things. It makes me angry to know that I missed so much, but I am also happy that I can try to make up for lost time with her!
From that party – two of my favorite pictures:
Shortly before our daughter was born, Sam and I went to lunch/drinks with Margaret and her husband Walt. We really had a great time. We laughed a lot and shared some stories (like the ones above) that our spouses were hearing for the first time). Much like Sam, Margaret was also a very important part of my post-divorce life. Reconnecting with her was so special to me. Again, from that earlier blog:
During lunch, Margaret said something that struck a chord. It was something that made me sad, and happy at the same time. She said, “I have seen you more and talked to you more in the past two years, than the entire time you were married.” This made me sad, because of what I touched on early – a great friendship almost destroyed, as well as the relationship between my Goddaughter and me, all because of the stupidity of someone else. It made me happy to know that our friendship remains and will grow even stronger in the years ahead.
It has certainly done that! She and Walt brought us food at the hospital the night Ella was born. She has become the most amazing aunt to Ella and Andrew! She loves them so much and spoils them rotten. What a blessing she is to me and my family.
Margaret,
I can’t help but think back on the incredible and amazing journey of our friendship. I am reminded of the countless moments that have brought so much joy and meaning to my life. From the day we met, I knew there was something special about you, beside you being Italian! I am so grateful for your genuine kindness, your support and advice, and of course, your infectious laughter. Throughout it all, your constant support has been a source of comfort and inspiration for me.
On your birthday, I want to tell you how much you mean to me. For years, you have been a rock through thick and thin, always there to listen and offer non-biased advice and counsel. You’ve celebrated my successes as if they were your own and offered me an ear during my toughest times. Our friendship is a treasure that I cherish deeply.
I read something recently that I can easily apply to you and me: “Everyone has ‘a friend’ for each stage of life, but only lucky ones have that ‘same friend’ in all stages of life.” THANK YOU for being that ‘same friend” to me!
Today, I wish you happiness, love, and laughter. I thank you for all the wonderful memories of the past and look ahead to many more in the future. I love you, my friend.
This Sunday (6/9) will mark 36 years since I graduated from high school. Coincidentally, I graduated from college with my Associates Degree 25 years later (11 years ago). I mention this because there have been so many graduation posts on Facebook over the last week or two. Many of my friends have been celebrating the college and high school graduations of their sons, daughters and grandchildren and they pictures and messages have been wonderful to read.
For the Friday Photo Flashback today, I share two photos from my high school graduation day. The first is one with my dad and me.
I remember when we took this photo thinking it was corny, but looking back at it now, I am so glad we took it. I’m sure there were plenty of times that my folks wondered if I’d ever get grades good enough to graduate! I had so much trouble with Algebra and often did the bare minimum in some of the classes that I hated (like Family Life – URGH). Luckily, there were plenty of classes that I took that I did like.
This photo is taken in our driveway just before I left to go to commencement. I was in band and we played before the ceremony started, so I had to be there early. That is my Ford Escort that my grandmother bought me for graduation. I laugh because of the stuff painted on it and the cat that is suction cupped to the back window. The Oops at the left rear bumper is where my friend Margaret slid into my car one winter morning (that’s a story in itself).
I truly love this photo of my dad and me.
The second photo is from later that evening, but before the ceremony. Our ceremony was held outdoors in the football stadium. The stage was set up in the center of the field and parents and family were seated in the stands to watch. The band set up on the track in front of the field. The first few numbers were played with all the seniors in place. When it was close to the start of the ceremony, the seniors left and lined up to walk into the stadium.
I remember all of the little things that happened in the month or two before graduation where the reality of school ending would hit me. One of those things was when we went to band class and there were songs that were played without us senior players. We sat and listened and it was hard. I loved playing music so much, I hated the fact that it was all coming to and end for me.
One of my favorite memories of that night was getting to conduct the band. There were a couple of us who did that. I picked a song called Tin Pan Alley, which was a medley of songs like I’m Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover, Ain’t She Sweet, and Happy Days Are Here Again. It was a long song and I was surprised I was allowed to conduct that one.
I remember it was a tad breezy that night and at one point the conductor’s score flipped a few pages. Thank goodness I was familiar with the song and really didn’t need it. As I look at this photo I see many classmates that I am still in contact with. Our valedictorian, Debbie, who is playing trumpet in the white cap and gown played the trumpet solo that I had played when we did it in concert because I was conducting. Directly to the right of my left hand, you can see a leg in a pink cast. That’s Theresa, if memory serves me right, she fell and broke her ankle at the band banquet a few weeks prior to graduation.
What an amazing feeling to be in front of the band, and in control of the tempo and volume of a piece of music. We had a conducting class that year and many of us got to conduct warm up pieces before rehearsal began. I learned so much from this and I would love the opportunity to do that again.
You know what’s funny? After 36 years, I can remember exactly how that song goes. I remember all the transitions, the tempo changes, the drum and cymbal cues, and solos. I could probably sing it for you note for note.
Shortly after this, all of our band seniors got up, shook hands with Mr. Shaner (our director), and lined up with the rest of our class. For three years, we had been the ones playing Pomp and Circumstance on a loop as seniors walked down the aisles and to their seats. Now, it was our turn. What a surreal moment to be listening to it as we walked in and prepared to get our diplomas.
This weekend was just wonderful! My Goddaughter and her fiancé got married on Saturday. I was honored to be able to DJ the wedding for them.
Before I tell you more, I want to give a little backstory. Just after we rang in the year 2020, and before Covid closed everything, I blogged about my Goddaughter and her mom. I think in order to fully understand what I was feeling this weekend, it is worth revisiting:
January 1, 2020
Today, we met one of my oldest and dearest friends for lunch. Margaret and I have been friends since junior high. We are both Italian. My folks loved her, and her folks loved me. I think they probably both thought that we would date or something, but that never happened. We both went to a few dances together, but that was about as close to “dating” as it got. We were just really good friends and that made us both happy. We were officers in band together, we dressed up as twins for Twin Day, she and I both took a senior picture together, and spent many hours on the phone. She was/is one of my best friends!
When her daughter, Marissa, was born she asked me to be her Godfather. I was honored to do it. A Godfather is a very important role for an Italian. When I got married the first time, sadly, I saw less and less of Margaret and my Goddaughter. Whenever I was supposed to get together with them, I was always informed that we couldn’t go or we had something to do with my ex’s family. (If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you are well aware of the narcissism that I dealt with and how miserable my life had become.)
After the divorce, Margaret was one of the first to reach out to me. She completely understood what was going on. Her forgiveness meant everything to me. I hurt her. I was hurt, too. I lost many years of our friendship, and I lost so many moments with my Goddaughter. After all of that, Margaret (and many other friends) had every right to just stop talking to me, but our friendship meant so much, that we have picked up where we left off.
When I attended my Goddaughter’s 21st birthday party, I pulled her aside and apologized for missing so many important things in her life. How do you explain that to someone? As I looked back on the past, my stomach was in knots. I was sickened to think of how I must have made so many people feel. She didn’t bat an eye, however, and told me she loved me and we all enjoyed a great evening! I remember driving home from her party crying my eyes out. It wasn’t fair to her that I missed so many things. It makes me angry to know that I missed so much, but I am also happy that I can try to make up for lost time with her!
Sam and I were going to see what Margaret and her husband, Walt, were doing on New Year’s Eve and found out she was working that night. So they met us at one of the nearby bars for lunch on New Year’s Day. We enjoyed some amazing burgers, and enjoyed good conversation. There is always a lot of laughter when we get together, story telling with wild hand gestures (it is the Italian in us!) and usually some profanity! It was truly a wonderful afternoon. We hope to be able to do it more often!
During lunch, Margaret said something that struck a chord. It was something that made me sad, and happy at the same time. She said, “I have seen you more and talked to you more in the past two years, that the entire time you were married.” This made me sad, because of what I touched on early – a great friendship almost destroyed as well as the relationship between my Goddaughter and me, all because of the stupidity of someone else. It made me happy to know that our friendship remains and will grow even stronger in the years ahead.
Shortly After That
My daughter Ella was born just over a month later. Margaret and Walt made the drive up to the hospital that night with Olive Garden dinners for Sam and me, and also a ton of soup and breadsticks for the hospital staff on our floor!
Ella loves her Aunt Margaret. Margaret has shown so much love to her and Andrew. Ella thanks God for her every night when she prays. Margaret refers to them as “my babies!” Thanks to technology, they love being able to video chat with her anytime!
Last week, Margaret and I got into one of those deep conversations. The years I missed came up. The deep regret that I hate thinking about . The “What Ifs” and such. We had been talking about my kids. She told me that she had always wanted to do that for my older boys, too! Thanks to my ex, that was never to be. All the hurt I felt about missing time with Marissa and I never really realized just how much hurt Margaret felt about missing time with my boys.
Sigh. On to happier stuff….
September 23, 2023
Saturday, I arrived at the breathtaking tree farm where the wedding was to be held. The first person I saw was the groom to be, Connor. He’s a great guy and I know that he is going to be a great husband. I asked him if he was nervous, and he said he was. Marissa and Connor have been together for 7 years. They are perfect together. I don’t remember what I told him, but I assured him all would go well.
When Marissa arrived, they shuffled Connor into the lodge area so he couldn’t see her. She came over and embraced me for a hug. She didn’t even have her dress on yet, and she was just stunning. We talked a briefly and then she was off to get ready.
I saw Margaret out in front of the lodge as I parked my father-in-law’s truck (which he let me borrow so I could fit everything in it!). She was busy putting out fires on the cell phone and with people at the venue.
It didn’t take me too long to get set up. It was hot, so I was glad I hadn’t arrived in my suit. I went to change and by then, we were about an hour and a half away from the ceremony. The families all came out and the photographers got pictures done before the ceremony, which you don’t see too often. But I get it, the sun was perfect and I know that they got some amazing pictures. I, however, only got two. One of Margaret and me, and the other with Marissa.
The ceremony was just wonderful. I was sitting next to Chris, a mutual friend of Margaret and me. She asked if I was going to need a tissue. I told her probably, but I passed her back the tissue pack. Once Marissa and her dad began walking down the aisle, I could feel those tears well up.
Their officiant knew both of them very well and shared some very funny stories. At the same time, he was very professional. Marissa and Connor each wrote their own vows. They read like a love story. Wow, the looks that they gave each other throughout the ceremony and the sharing of their vows….. It was a powerful example of true love. Again, I held back tears.
I’ve DJ’s many weddings, but this was the first where a grand entrance was timed down to the second! They entered to Natalie Cole’s This Will Be (An Everlasting Love). I had a cue sheet with the time and the lyrics along with the couples that were entering at that time. They had it timed perfectly.
After the grand entrance, Marissa and Connor had put together a dance for their first song. It was such a joy to watch these two execute their moves to perfection. I was glad that a little hiccup that could have meant me not having their song was an easy fix. In all my years doing weddings, this was only the third time the bride and groom had choreographed their first dance. It was beautiful.
It was after this that I saw Margaret become “that Italian mom.” Let me explain. No one had filled the glasses of the head table and when we went to do toasts, there was nothing to toast! They decided to let people eat and they would toast during dinner while someone filled glasses. That someone – was Margaret. She came busting out of the lodge with bottle of wine in each hand. She walked to every person with an empty glass and asked, “White or red?”
She was the first table called to eat after the head table. Yet, she was like the last in line to eat! I had to tell her to get a plate. She naturally swore at me and moved through the buffet line.
Toasts from the Best Man, Maid of Honor, and the fathers of both the Bride and Groom followed. The Best Man impressed me with a perfect line. He stated that he and Connor had been best friends forever. He stated that he was happy to give up that title, because Marissa would now forever be his best friend. Good stuff!
After dinner, Marissa danced with her dad and Connor danced with his mom. Then the dance floor opened for the night. Music was not an issue, as they had given me plenty of songs to choose from. There is never enough time to get through the entire list. There were plenty of requests and the crowd seemed to be having a good time.
I naturally brought out the groom and the groomsmen, who had no idea why I called them out to the floor. I passed out a cowboy hat, and Indian head dress, a policeman’s hat, a sailor hat, and a biker hat. I led them through some silly moves and we did the YMCA together. This is always silly and they guys had fun. I even got to embarrass myself as I walked through the crown lip synching “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis with my terrible Elvis wig.
There were so many things from the evening that I will remember, but the one thing that will stick with me forever is just how beautiful Marissa looked.
I am so happy for her. I am excited to hear about all the things that are ahead for her and Connor. Random thought: Is he now my Godson-in-law? I’d be ok with that.
On my hour drive home, there was a lot of time to think about the day. I smiled again as I recalled the vows, the first dance, the last dance, and more. I had to pull over when the sadness crept in with the memory of the lost time with her. I had to remind myself that that is all in the past, and there will be more happy days ahead. Plenty of happy days, I am sure of it!
Congratulations to Marissa and Connor. Your love for each other will carry you through the tough storms … and God will get you through the rest!
It is time for another installment of my Friday Photo Flashback. This week – a picture I didn’t even know I had.
It certainly is not a great picture of me, but it does bring back memories. The background seems dark and things behind us are hard to make out, but the people in it stir up good memories.
From left to right front row: me, Karen, and Joe. Back row: Margaret and Steve
The photo was taken at my high school graduation party. I only know this because of the clothes we are wearing (thanks to other photos from the party). It is a snapshot of an ending and new beginning for us – the end of school and the start of “real life.”
1988. The people in the photo were my best friends. Jeff would also be included in that group, and there is another photo of all of us together somewhere. The only thing that would make this a perfect snapshot of my life at that time would be Jeff in it.
I spent so much time with all of these people in high school. We always seemed to be together. it wasn’t always all of us, but you could almost be that I’d be with at least one of them!
Steve and I were practically inseparable. We spent hours in the car driving and listening to tapes I had made to “cruise” with. I’ve always said we were like Jackie Gleason and Art Carney – Ralph and Norton. I think we drove each other nuts at times, but we truly were great friends … And still are. The day was bittersweet for us because I believe the day after this photo was taken, Steve left for basic training.
Joe and I hung out almost as much, but he was always the better student and actually did his homework. A lot of the time he’d be doing that so it was just Steve and I out causing trouble. There were many times, however, that we’d all hope in the car and drive around wasting gas. I think of the three of us as the Three Amigos, or maybe the Three Stooges is more accurate. We all played cards (Pinochle) together for hours on end. Now we try to find time between our work schedules to schedule a golf outing together…
Margaret and I were as close as Steve and me. I love that she has her arm around me in this picture. We never dated – even though our folks wanted us to – but it was almost like we did. We loved each other, but never in a romantic kind of way We went to movies, dances, and dinner together and our friendship continues to this day. She is Aunt Margaret to my kids and they love her just as much as I do.
Margaret and I used to talk for hours on the phone when were in school. We still do. Both of us have long drives to work and we often chat while driving. We still vent, laugh and cry with each other. Ours truly is an amazing friendship.
Karen and I had probably just started dating when this picture was taken. She was the same age as my brother and a Freshman when I was a Senior. For some reason, she stood next to me in parade formation in marching band. It was weird because I played trumpet and she was a flute player. Not sure why we were next to each other, but it led to our relationship.
I always tried to make her laugh when we were in marching band. I usually did. As prom approached, I kind of jokingly asked if she’d want to go. She surprised me and said yes. I remember Joe and I got a limo and I think we both had top hats. I think both Karen and Joe’s date wore blue dresses. All my prom pictures are gone now, so it is hard to remember. I do have vivid memories of that night, but that is really all.
We dated for about 5 years total with a short break in there somewhere. Karen was my first love. She wasn’t my first girlfriend, but my first serious one. We had a lot of wonderful memories. She’s married now and a wonderful mother. She works hard in the medical field and I still hear from her sisters and also am friends with some of her family on Facebook. I recently DJ’d her sister’s wedding and saw her briefly. I was glad to get to say hello.
I have some wonderful memories of that graduation party. My dad gathered up members of the wedding band he had played with and they all set up and played music at the party. My Uncle Tom played drums on some songs and did some singing of old blues tunes. My cousins also joined in and played drums and guitar. It was so cool. Steve, Joe, Jeff and I all got up and sang Weird Al’s parody of La Bamba (Lasagna) like a bunch of fools.
Of course, I think of the many folks who were there, who are no longer here. My mom, my grandparents, my great grandma, my great Aunt, Steve’s dad, Joe’s mom, and so many others. Thankfully they live on in photos and memories.
It seems to me as I look at this picture that we are posing for someone else’s photo. I wonder who might have been taking it. I would certainly love to see that one. Maybe I’m wrong, though. We all don’t seem to be looking the same way. Perhaps this is just an excellent candid picture. It’s a nice candid picture where I still have hair, big glasses, and am surrounded by some of the best people I’ve ever or will ever know.
The Word Press App on my phone will offer a daily writing prompt to bloggers. I subscribe to a few “prompt” emails and such, and they can certainly be thought starters. Today’s prompt was one I had considered before and I may have even been asked a similar question by a Facebook friend. The prompt:
They are making a movie about your life. Cast it. (Keith adds – with any actors living or dead)
My thoughts on this are to jot down what comes to mind immediately for some (not all) of my family, and a few friends (other friends may request I suggest an actor/actress for them if they really want me to). I will then continue to ponder the question and see if, after thinking it over, I would change any of my choices.
Me
Dom Deluise – No Brainer. This has always been my answer to this question!
My wife, Sam –
This was tough. I tried to think of who might look like her and carry herself like Sam. Toss up between Charlize Theron and Olivia Wilde.
My Dad
I’m not sure there would be any better than Jackie Gleason to play my dad
My Mom
Who in the world could play my mom? Tough question and still not really sure, but I forced myself to pick someone. At times, Cathy Bates’ facial expressions remind me of her, so for now – that’ my pick.
My Brother – Chris
Really difficult pick. So just because it will either make him laugh (and he needs that, because he is recovering from Covid) or it will make him mad… William Shatner (Because I wanted to post this stupid picture!)
My Grandma and Grandpa P
Estelle Getty on Golden Girls WAS my grandma! I always felt Abe Vigoda looked like my grandpa, so there ya go.
My Grandma and Grandpa D.
I have always felt like at times, Betty White reminded me of my grandma. My grandpa was tall, a bit heavy, and always smiling. John Goodman reminds me of him.
HyperFocal: 0
My best friend, Jeff
Another no brainer. I’ve said for years that he reminds me of Robin Williams.
My friend Steve K.
Steve always has some sort of crazy fact that seems unbelievable to tell. So, he would be John Ratzenberger – but John Ratzenberger AS Cliff Claven from Cheers.
My friend Joe K.
Joe is probably one of the smartest guys I know. At first, I couldn’t get Jeff Goldblum out of my head, and then I though Rainn Wilson is a bit more “Joe” to me.
My friend Steve M.
Steve and I wear our hair the same. My first choice was Vin Diesel, but then I though Michael Chiklis looked more like him (and he played Curly in a Three Stooges movie, so he wins).
My friend Margaret M.
She’s Italian. She’s fiesty. She is strong. She is an expert at inserting profanity into conversation. Without a doubt – Marisa Tomei.
My friend, Chris B,
Tall and funny = Conan O’Brien
Uh …… I’m Stumped
Now, as far as my kids …. I’m just not sure. My older boys (Dante’ and Dimitri) have personalities that are very established. Ella does in a sense as well. Andrew is just a smiling happy baby. How do I begin to pick who will play them? I just don’t know….
It’s my blog and my rules. Let me think a bit on this ….
If I left you out …. and you want me to think about who will play you – let me know. In the meantime ….
Some days I look at my blog notebook and wonder just what I will blog about. I have a few in my draft folder that are ready to be posted for some blog events that I am taking part in. Then I have a few that are bullet points and more like idea starters. Over the past couple days, my blogs have ranged from silliness to serious. Today, however, there was no doubt whatsoever about what I would write about. The news is just too good!
When I woke up this afternoon, I grabbed my phone off the bedside table and went into the living room. I glanced briefly at my phone, but without my readers on, I can’t really see much. I could make out that my Goddaughter, Marissa, had texted me. There was a picture attached, but again, I couldn’t really see it.
Sam told me that AJ was probably ready for a bottle and I began making it. Sam went to get Ella up from her nap and then she was going to lay down for a bit. I set my phone down on the arm rest next to me so I could feed the baby. After he was finished, I grabbed my phone and remembered the text.
I had no idea what Marissa could be sending me. I figured maybe a picture of her and me, or her and Ella came up in Facebook memories or something and she was sending it. I opened up the text and saw this picture (and yes, she’ll probably kill me for posting this, but that’s what proud and happy uncles do):
I must have looked at the picture for 2 to 3 minutes without anything even registering. Then I read the text that accompanied it, which moved me to very happy tears:
“Hey Uncle Keith, we wanted to let you know before we posted on social media – Connor and I got engaged on Tuesday! Love You!”
I read that three times before I could even respond! I am SO happy for them! That text message so much to me. This was such amazing news to wake up to! I am so excited for them.
After texting her back, and congratulating her, I opened my Facebook and saw the link to the photos of the event. Her fiancé, Connor, had arranged for a photographer to be there to capture the moment. The pictures are simply beautiful. You can see just how happy they both make each other!
Marissa’s mom (Aunt Margaret) called me not too long ago and cried happy tears about how thankful she is to be a part of Ella and Andrew’s life. (She will deny crying – but, she did) Today, it was my turn to call her and cry. What an amazing moment to be able to share together! She told me that the proposal was set to happen at another time and place, but life got in the way and it was unable to happen. I’m happy that it all went without a hitch this time!
Marissa and Connor – Congratulations to you both. You are a beautiful couple and you both make each other so happy. While I’ve witnessed many wonderful and amazing things in my life, this is without a doubt one of the best. I wish you both a life full of love and happiness.
At midnight tonight, we’ll start a brand new year – 2022. Some have compared a new year to a book. The book with 365 blank pages – one for each day – and said that the book is ours to write. There is truth to that.
As I looked back over my “book” entitled “2021,” I see that (despite the pandemic and all the crap that came with it) I really did have a good year. Bear with me, he’s the recap:
January
January started with some snow. It actually looks like we should be getting snow again this week. Ella absolutely loved being outside in the snow. It was fun to watch her try to figure out just what all the white stuff was. Today, when she sees it, she get’s excited and yells, “Snow! Snow!”
In mid-January, we scratched our heads and wondered just how Ella was 11 months old! I mean, it seemed like she was just born!
The pressure was on as we closed in on her first birthday. With Covid, we weren’t quite sure if we’d even be able to have a party for her.
February
As we got closer to Ella’s birthday, Sam was just not feeling right. 3 days before Ella’s birthday, we found out that baby #2 was on the way!
This took us both completely by surprise! There was great excitement all over again. The hardest part was keeping it a secret…
Ella’s first birthday was a fun and busy day. We ditched the pink blocks and marked the birthday with a HUGE number “1” balloon. This was followed by a trip to the Sea Life Aquarium, the Build a Bear place, and cake at Nana’s house.
We were glad to be able to get some professional “1st Birthday” pictures, too!
March
In March we got our first look at the baby we now know as Andrew/AJ and announced Ella’s promotion to big sister.
Ella also got her first haircut
March also consisted of many walks around the neighborhood and stops at the park.
April
Big brother, Dante’ turned 19 this month! Before that, Easter fell on my mom’s birthday. We got Ella all dressed up in her Easter dress, stopped at the cemetery to visit grandma on her birthday and then went to Nana’s for an Easter Egg hunt!
Ella is so very blessed to have wonderful people in her life. Aunt Margaret is one of them! (She will kill me for posting this picture, but I just love this!!) She and cousin Marissa came to visit and the highlight was watching them read books together.
We also found out the baby’s gender, but that wouldn’t be revealed until May.
May
Birthday’s have never really bothered me, mostly because I opt for the Jack Benny attitude and say that I am stuck at 39. However, in reality I turned 51. 30 was big. 40 was tough. 50 a bit hard to swallow. Over 50? Well…..I examine my own mortality every day.
The month started warm enough that Ella got to spend lots of time in her sandbox and pool.
We revealed that Ella was having a baby brother and got another look at him on an ultrasound.
Ella and I worked on a special project for Sam for Mother’s Day and we got to visit the Detroit Zoo.
May also brought Ella her first taste of corn on the cob!
June
My second oldest boy celebrated his 14th birthday in June. We got to spend Father’s Day together by visiting Crossroads Village. They had a Classic Car Show there and we walked the village and rode the train. It was such a great day with my kids!
It was SO hot that day!!! By the end of it all, Ella was physically exhausted. June was a hot month and we did get to get out and enjoy walks in the park and a day at the splash pad.
July
By July, Sam was 5 months pregnant and was so sick. The pregnancy was a rough one on her. The heat didn’t help things. Despite that, the middle of summer was packed full of amazing things and our family had loads of fun.
We celebrated America’s Birthday, Ella had her first visit to the public library and bowled for the first time, and we all visited the Saginaw Children’s Zoo.
August
As Summer drew to a close, we continued to squeeze as much into it as we could. I got to spend a perfect day doing a daddy daughter picnic, my name was finally on the board at the Corner Cone for a free ice cream, Ella spent lots of time drawing with crayons, and our stress levels were through the roof as we took Ella in for her ear tube surgery. We also got another peak at AJ and had a visit from my brother.
September
Fall! My favorite season of all. I was glad to be able to get together with Margaret, Walt and my buddy Chris at Margaret’s house. Since she’s already mad at the one picture I posted, I’ll just share the one she told me I could share. Hopefully, that makes things a little better….
We always love going to get pumpkins and decorating the front of the house for fall. Ella seemed to like it, too.
Ella and I also got to take one last trip to the Saginaw Zoo before it closed for the season. It was a great day for us, and Sam actually got to relax a bit.
October
We had been told more than once that there was a possibility that the baby would come before his due date. He held out almost until the date! Just two days before he was born, Ella and I got to go outside and enjoy the fall colors.
On October 11th, AJ entered the world. I watched in awe as my son was born and all the pride of being a daddy again filled my soul. We weren’t sure how Ella would handle it, but she welcomed him with open arms.
They still did not have a photographer at the hospital, so we went to JC Penney to have some newborn pictures taken. AJ looks spiffy in his outfit!
While this wasn’t Ella’s first Halloween, it was the first real Trick or Treating adventure for her. She was happy that big brother was there to walk with her. AJ was obviously way too young to attempt to go out this year.
November
Fall walks are among my favorites. I love looking at the colors. Ella and I took many fall walks and there were many instances where she’d just play in a pile of leaves! AJ kept us all busy and so it was just Ella and I making the trip to Bronner’s to get his ornament for the Christmas tree. We enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving at home and got the house ready for Christmas.
December
The final month of the year brought many happy memories. Professional Christmas pictures, my annual reading of Dickens, AJ turned 2 months old, a visit from Papa and Grandma, Christmas Eve with my boys, Holiday lights at Crossroads, our first Christmas as a family of four, and the anticipation of a brand new year.
Blog highlights included my entries to the 2021 Song Draft, salutes to Soupy Sales, my grandpa, and Ernie Harwell, a guest blog from my pal Max, silly blogs about hats and Bernie Sanders’ mittens, fishing memories, my favorite Twilight Zone episodes, and a blog about an amazing cartoon Dog Dad.
There were many sad moments in 2021. I lost classmates and friends to cancer, heart disease, and of course, Covid. If the past two years have taught me anything, it is that life is precious and another day is not promised. You never know when it will be the “last picture,” the “last phone call,” or the “last visit.” It takes me make to that quote that my band director wrote on the grease board my senior year. I have quoted it many times. “Live every day as if it were your last. Someday, you’ll be right.”
Life is too short. Live. Laugh. Love.
As we welcome 2022, I pray that it is a good year for all of us. May we find it full of happiness and good health. May God bless you and yours in the upcoming year.
Get ready. The Book of 2022 awaits. Grab your pen and turn to page (January) 1.
It is taking all that is in me to write a blog today. I don’t feel like writing. I’m numb today.
All weekend long I struggled with whether or not to proceed with something. It is something that has weighed very heavy on my heart. It is something that comes with risks no matter what I decided to do. I have spent three entire therapy sessions (one I scheduled purposely) discussing it with my therapist. No matter how much I talked about it, no matter how I looked at it, no matter what the pros and cons were, I still don’t feel like I was ready to make a decision. Based on previous blogs, you can probably figure out what I am talking about.
It doesn’t really even matter what it is. I wrestled to make a decision and now I am wrestling with the decision I made. I am literally numb. I am feeling many emotions today – fear, anger, sadness, uncertainty, worry, and so many more. As I stared at the computer screen, I wondered just what the hell I wanted to write about. So I grabbed my phone and looked back at some of the pictures from the weekend and figured maybe I should at least talk about the positives.
Positives
First of all, I got to spend the entire weekend with my wife and daughter. It was an extended weekend for my wife and I, and as a bonus we both got Tuesday off. We actually had time to sit on the couch and watch shows we had on the DVR, which is something we rarely get to do. Ella had us laughing a lot this weekend. Recently, Sam’s folks bought her an easel. It has a chalkboard, whiteboard, place for paper, etc… We thought that this would be great for her to draw on. We haven’t let her paint yet, but she can color on it and uses the chalkboard a lot. Up until now, the sidewalk chalk had to stay outside. Now she has it on the easel, which isn’t always a good thing ….
This probably won’t stop her from drawing on the furniture … but it was worth a try!
On Sunday, I got together with two of my close friends from high school – Margaret and Chris. It was probably a couple months ago that a picture of the three of us came up in Facebook Memories. I think it said the picture was taken 10 years ago! While I’ve gotten together with them separately since, it had been that long since we all got together. So we met at Margaret’s house and she had a cook out. The town was hopping because the peach festival was going on. I got their late, because I thought we were supposed to get together on Monday. No matter, we all got to sit around and chat, reminisce, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company. Before we wrapped up the day, I said we had to get another picture! I sent the picture to both of them, and each of us posted it on our pages. Margaret joked around and said to crop the picture more …. so I did….
Really a great picture of us ….
Sometimes, I have to do things just to take my mind off the crap that is on social media. I am so sick of the politics, hatred, and sadness that is often the subject of posts on Facebook. During conversation at Margaret’s, the topic turned to some silliness I have been posting. I did this last September, too. I know it is stupid, but it truly makes me laugh and I share to save my sanity.
One of the Three Stooges pages I follow on Facebook takes Shemp Howard’s picture and Photoshops them on other pictures. The can be movie stills, magazine covers, etc. They call the entire month of September – SHEMPtember! So every day this month, I find a silly pic from their page and post it. This remains one of my favorites, and I am sure my musical followers will get a good laugh from it, too….
The Shemptations!!!!!
30 days of stupidity? Yeah, probably. I’ll take the stupidity and enjoy the laugh over the other things I am feeling any day.
The rest of the weekend falls into the area that I’d rather not think about ….
My friend Margaret posted this picture on my Facebook page today saying that it “reminds me of visiting grandma’s pantry!”:
I totally laughed out loud at this picture! The dude has a shopping cart!!! I can totally relate to this! My grandma’s pantry was literally a grocery store! Perhaps this is because she lived through the depression. I really don’t know, but she was always bargain shopping. I remember my dad taking her to three different grocery stores on the same day because of the different sales going on! Coffee is on sale at Farmer Jack …..
Toilet paper is on sale at A&P ….
They have a sale on paper towel at Kroger ….
The pantry
We rarely went into my grandma’s basement. I don’t really recall why. Perhaps that’s why I can only recall certain things about it. I remember there being an extra stove down there, which she used for baking Christmas cookies. I remember the washer and dryer and laundry area. There was a huge freezer where she stored Wonder Bread, and meat. I also remember a small area with peg board where my grandpa had some tools. The one thing that I can remember vividly, is the pantry!
The pantry was directly under the stairs. I think there was a sheet or a curtain that was used for a “door”. In the middle of the pantry was a string that hung down from a light fixture that you pulled to turn on the light. Once you turned on the light, you could see countless shelves, stocked fully of everything and anything!
It was insane! It was SO full, we used to call it “Kroger”! The above picture would be a fairly accurate comparison to my grandma’s pantry, except it was hardly as wide! Looking at this picture made me chuckle, because as I look at it, I see many similar items that grandma had. I see the countless boxes of noodles (which my grandma ALWAYS had). I remember her having Prince noodles.
There was a Prince facility close to our house (off of Groesbeck Highway, I think) which had a sign, which was a HUGE box of noodles. On the back of it was their slogan “Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti Day!”
One thing that I see in the pantry pic that would NEVER be in grandma’s pantry is jarred spaghetti sauce! As I have said in previous blogs, grandma made her sauce from scratch every Sunday! So instead of the jars, there would be can after can of Contadina Sauce, Paste, and Puree.
I remember there being hundreds of cans of Contadina! Cans of all sizes lined the shelves of the pantry!!
I made more frequent visits to the pantry when I had moved to Ludington when I was 21. I would come home every other weekend and see my folks, my girlfriend at the time, and my grandparents. I always left with a box of stuff to take home. She made sure I always had things I wouldn’t necessarily think about. Things like dish soap.
Always looking for the bargain, my grandma probably had the cheapest dish soap ever made! It was this pink generic brand that hardly made a bubble when you washed with it! The pantry was full of this! It was so cheap that I think I used an entire bottle every two weeks! I can’t describe the smell of it, but I’d know it immediately if I caught a whiff of it today!!
Another thing she always sent with me was bath soap – Lux to be exact.
I think my entire family razzed her about this soap! She didn’t care. She was an advertiser’s dream client! When I asked her why she bought so much, she told me “Movie stars use that!!” She obviously had heard commercials and seen print ads featuring Loretta Young, Jean Simmons, and Natalie Wood!!
As far as I know, there were no Lux ads with men promoting it!
Another shelf was loaded up with Ketchup. I’m sorry, Catsup. I remember grandma using Del Monte for most of my childhood, but at some point, switched to Hunts or Heinz.
Just what is the difference between Ketchup and Catsup anyway?! We must have used a different brand at home, because I remember the ketchup at grandma’s house tasted different. Maybe because (according to the picture above) Del Monte used PINEAPPLE to make it?!?
Another thing that was always in grandma’s pantry was Velvet peanut butter! It had three faces on the front and they all had names (kind of like Rice Krispies Snap, Crackle and Pop) Fresh, Pure, and Delicious.
I remember grandma making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with crunchy Velvet and apple or strawberry jelly. She always saved the glass jars that the peanut butter came in. They became storage for things like screws and bolts for my grandpa, as he had them lining his workbench under the pegboard.
The other things I remember from the pantry were not kept on a shelf. There was a little area off of the door where grandma kept her storage containers. These would be the various containers that would eventually hold the numerous cookies that she would send home with us every year.
My favorite was always the Better Made Potato Chip Can. She would place a layer of different cookies in it starting at the bottom. One layer would be ice box cookies, next would be sugar cookies, next were sesame seed cookies, followed by oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip. It seemed like a million cookies in that can, although it probably only held a little over 100.
It’s truly amazing how something like a picture can bring back something you had totally forgotten about! Thank you, Margaret, for the laugh and for allowing me to revisit grandma’s pantry, I mean, Kroger! Until my next visit …. let me just turn off the light ….
Various Ramblings of a Nostalgic Italian 