Rerun, Rewatch, Repeat, Rejuvinate!

Based on something I stumbled on recently, my mental health should be in tip top shape! Yours may be, to, especially if you love to binge watch your favorite TV shows over and over again. There are some people who just don’t get why someone would want to watch something (whether it be a TV show or a movie) repeatedly. However, it turns out that rewatching TV shows can actually be good for your mental health.

There have been numerous studies that have explored the psychological impact of a person’s favorites on television. One example is a series of four studies that were published in The Journal of Experimental Social Psychology back in 2009. The study found links to an increased sense of belonging and decreased feelings of rejection and loneliness when the study participants thought about their familiar TV favorites. If you are like me, you can’t help but wonder why this is the case.

It is thought that rewatching favorite shows can be helpful to us when we may be feeling down and disconnected from others because of the familiarity that our favorite shows provide. Shira Gabriel, PhD, one of the study’s co-authors said in an interview with Everyday Health, “Rewatching shows allows us to dive into a social world that we already know and already feel connected to. It is a fast way to feel connected, much like talking to an old friend makes one feel connected more quickly than a new person.”

This makes complete sense to me. We find a connection to these characters that we watch every week. You can probably think of a moment right now where the death of a TV character moved you to tears. At the same time, we get emotional when we watch a series finale and we actually have to say goodbye to these characters that have become such a part of our lives.

At the same time, this also might explain why we sometimes try to say what characters on these TV shows remind us of our friends and ourselves. For example, when talking about Sex And The City, people will say they’re the Carrie in their group while their bestie is Samantha and their other pal is definitely Miranda. If you are familiar with Sanford and Son, I will tell you that I call my dad “Pop” and he calls me Lamont.

These recent studies show that rewatching our favorite TV shows can also be incredibly comforting and provide a safe space to regulate our emotions and decompress. These shows can give us a sense of safety, especially when we may be stressed out from work, struggling in our relationships, or anxious in general. We are comfortable in the familiarity of the show itself.

While the studies focused primarily on rewatching TV shows, I would think that the same type of data would come from rewatching movies, too. I have my favorites that I go to when I need to laugh, as I am sure you do. It is not odd for me to interject movie quotes in my daily conversations with people. It’s like a second language to my friends and me.

It makes me wonder how this sort of thing would apply to people who read a book more than once or listen to the same music over and over. There would have to be some sort of connection, wouldn’t you think?

Well, if you got anything out of this blog, you received validation and permission to watch your favorite TV show and enjoy it over and over and over again. Feel free to talk about your “go to” rerun in the comments …. If you will excuse me, I can hear the theme song …..

I Hate Those Calls

The other day I received a message from a high school friend: “Hey. Are you up?” I didn’t see it because it was sent through Snapchat and I tend not to look at those right away. The following day, I texted her back and said, “Sorry I missed you. Is everything ok?” 

It is sad, but it seems more and more messages that start that way bring about bad news. I know her mom really well and thought it might be something to do with her. She texted back, “I just wanted to let you know about (our mutual friend).” She then said she’d call me in a few.

The more time went by, the more I began to think about how strange this was. I had just reached out to our friend around Christmas. I messaged her on Facebook and said Merry Christmas and wished her well in the New Year. I then remembered I hadn’t heard back. I opened my Facebook messenger and saw that the message I sent her had not been read. This made me start to worry.

When my friend called back, I asked her what was going on. I was informed that our friend was in hospice care. I was stunned. I couldn’t even begin to imagine this. I hadn’t heard from her in a while, but I knew she had all kinds of things going on at home and figured she was sorting through all of that. I had no idea that she was sick.

I was told that she has an aggressive form of Bile Duct Cancer. It’s a rare cancer and it has metastasized into the brain. Within 24 hours of my friend’s call, she texted to say that they were upping the morphine and our friend would most likely be in a coma like state until she passes. I had hoped to visit her today, but wasn’t able to get there. I haven’t heard an update today.

I’m 53. We graduated together, so we’re about the same age. We reconnected through Facebook years ago, and when I was going through my divorce, she often reached out to see how I was. Our group of mutual friends all went out to dinner one night and it was so much fun. It was like being in high school all over again. Those friendships picked right up where we left off. She and I messaged often and when she started having issues in her life, the tables turned and I was there to talk with her and offer support. Now, she is in her final days.

I read a quote from someone online that really hit home:

“One of the absolutely worst things about getting old, is the loss of friends and loved ones to sickness and ultimately death.  The longer I live, the more I find myself reminiscing about the folks who peppered my world with the joy of their presence, now gone forever.”

This is so true. I have so many things in my life to celebrate and that make me happy (my family first and foremost), but as I get older, it hurts to lose some of those wonderful people who shared good times with me. 

The above quote from Leo Buscaglia should be something that should be on our minds daily. When they say “tomorrow is promised to no one,” they are right. In the blink of an eye, or in one millisecond life can change. 

A co-worker was in a serious accident this week. She is ok, but her car is totaled. All it would have taken is a second earlier or a second later, or any other minute factor and the outcome could have been very different. You never know when it’s time.

The quote at the top of this blog is one that a good friend of mine had written on a mirror in her home. “Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many” It was found by her son when they were cleaning out her home. This friend was only 5 years older than me. Now, my friend in hospice is being denied that privilege, too.

I am grateful for the times we shared together and will miss her. 

We Need A Little Happy…

Let’s face it, 2020 has kinda been a crappy year. As it draws to a close, many of us will be glad to see it go! Sure, there have been high points, but the bad has outweighed the good throughout most of the year. Covid-19, quarantine, the election, political ads (on TV, radio, and via text message), politics in general, loss of income, unemployment, businesses closing, to mask or not to mask, hate everywhere, and the list goes on and on.

The things we experienced this year have messed with the mental health of all of us. Depression and anxiety diagnoses have skyrocketed. We are going bananas being cooped up in our homes. We miss the interaction with friends and family. We miss being able to go and fellowship with our church friends. Our children are lacking personal interaction with friends. This year has left so many of us scarred for life!

I don’t know about you, but I am physically exhausted by it. I “snoozed” so many friends who were posting countless political things on Facebook. I had to. Come on, how many times has someone’s post on Facebook about an issue changed your mind or your belief about something? I understand that everyone has a right to their opinion, and I am entitled to mine. The wonderful thing about our country is that you and I can share different opinions and still be friends!

What amazes me is how there are some people who just can’t be happy unless they are voicing their disgust about something. Those things don’t even have to be “hot topic” things, like what I mentioned a few paragraphs ago. Here’s an example:

A friend of mine posted the following on Facebook:

“What the hell is the matter with people? I can’t believe that people are already putting up Christmas decorations! Trees are lit and in front windows, lights are strung along the gutters, and the blow up Santa’s are sitting on lawns! Radio is already playing Christmas music!! Stop the madness, people!!”

My response to this is simply this: why is this such a big deal to you? Is it hurting you? How does a blow up Santa on the lawn of someone who doesn’t even live in your neighborhood affect your life? It seems like you were just looking for the next thing to complain about, and this was it.

2020 has so many things to look back on in disgust, so I welcome anything that would bring happiness! We could use a little happiness. We could use something to brighten our world. We need happy songs. There’s a song that says “give the world a smile each day.” Maybe if we spent a little more time smiling at one another, there wouldn’t be so much hatred in the world.

You know what? I’m not going to live my life like Debbie Downer (or whatever that SNL character was called). It’s pretty easy to find things to bitch and complain about (pardon my French), but it’s just as easy to find things to rejoice in. If you can’t find happiness – find a way to spread it! Be nice. Be kind. Smile.

To those who are already spreading joy with holiday lights – bravo! Thank you for making me smile!

To those who are walking around grumpy, angry, and looking for something to complain about…. take some advice from Bobby McFerrin:

Music – LISTEN TO IT!

I posted this on Facebook earlier, and thought I would share it here on my blog.  I am WAY behind on my Tune Tuesday posts, and I hope to correct that soon.  I know many of my followers enjoy music like I do, so I wanted to post this article I found extremely interesting.

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You should listen to music every day.  And according to a new study, you should listen to 78 minutes of it every day.

That’s the amount recommended by the British Academy of Sound Therapy for maintaining good mental health.  But you can’t just listen to one specific type of music.  There’s actually a formula.  You need:

14 minutes of “uplifting” music to feel happy.

16 minutes of “calming” music to feel relaxed.

16 minutes of whatever you choose to overcome sadness.

15 minutes of “motivating” music to aid concentration.

And another 17 minutes of whatever you choose to help manage your anger.

Even though they recommend 78 minutes, 11 minutes a day still has therapeutic benefits, and you can boost your happiness with just FIVE minutes.

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Here is a link to the entire article:  https://loudwire.com/study-music-mental-health/

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So turn up the volume!  Enjoy some music today!!