As the holiday weekend draws to a close, I hope you got the chance to enjoy it. We certainly enjoyed it, though it was toned down from previous years.
We didn’t have the entire family with us this year. Some of the family was sick and some were invited elsewhere or had something else going on. We tossed a few burgers and dogs on the grill and enjoyed a bonfire.
It’s been awhile since we have been able to enjoy a bonfire, so this was really nice.
The fireflies were plentiful and beautiful that night. Ella and Andrew loved catching them.
They had a little Tupperware container they were trying to put them in, but I think the lid wasn’t on right. Every time they came back to drop one in, the others were gone.
Sam bought us all matching shirts to wear. July is National Hot Dog Month, and she’s been thinking a lot about her sister Grace who passed away. The shirts have Mickey Mouse on them and say Hot Diggity Dog on them. Grace loved Mickey Mouse.
We were missing some of the cousins, but quite a few were with us and they had a blast.
We get to watch the fireworks right from our backyard every year. This year they were not too bad. They had some new ones, but I felt other years were better. For what it is worth, the town raises ,money every year to do them. Maybe they were short on donations this year. You still can’t beat a decent show…
Oh, and incidentally, I was able to get my yearly flag photos. Six Fourths of July for Ella and four for Andrew.
Ok, the last two weeks were flashbacks of a serious nature, so I thought I would find a picture I could pick apart a bit. I know Max over at the PowerPop blog loves these photos.
According to the date stamp, this was developed in 1988 (the year I graduated from high school). That being said, we never seemed to develop film right away, so this could have been taken in 1987. Welcome to a little corner of my brother’s room.
The first thing that hits me are two 70’s/80’s decorative staples – Paneling and wallpaper! I can still remember when my folks hung that astronaut wallpaper. I cannot remember if this was my room first or my brother’s. At some point, maybe before they hung the wallpaper, we switched rooms. Mine had globes and maps on the wall.
While my brother and I are very different, we are also very similar. Case in point: we both had shelves in our rooms for photos and display pieces. My shelves had Three Stooges dolls, a couple autographed pictures, ceramic pieces that my mother had made, and little collectibles. This bookcase/shelving unit was were my brother displayed many of his favorite things and photos.
Before I look at the shelves, I want to point out that in 1987 our band went to Disney in Florida and marched in a parade there. The Goofy hat on the wall was something that I believe both my brother and I had. I have no idea what that red thing is hanging in the upper left of this picture. He may remember.
I have blogged in the past about mom’s ceramics hobby and this photo features some of her work. You can read about that hobby here:
We were obviously into Star Wars back then. Starting at the left on the top shelf is the first Star Wars piece mom made, R2-D2. She may have asked the two of us what pieces we’d like for her to make for us. I seem to remember asking for Chewbacca, who is next on the shelf. The R2-D2 was fairly simple. The detail was good and it had a shine to it. I remember my mom did something different with Chewbacca. For the life of me, I can’t remember what she called it, but it had more of a dirt/flat look to it. You really can’t tell, but in front of Chewbacca is the controls to the Millennium Falcon. I remember thinking how professional the thing looked and thinking, “My mom made this!”
In front of Chewbacca is a small ceramic cat that mom made for my brother. It is much like the little pieces that I mentioned in the blog link above. I have to chuckle at the that coconut next to Chewbacca. We both had one, I think one was just a single person, while it looks like Chris’s may have been two. I think those were banks, but I could be wrong. Did we get those at Disney, too? I think so, but I cannot recall.
Next to that coconut is one of the best pieces my mom ever did – Yoda. This was the final Star Wars piece she worked on and it was fantastic. She was always trying new things and for Yoda’s coat, she used some kind of sandy stucco stuff that really made it look cool. The detail on this piece was just amazing.
Before moving to the last piece on the top shelf, I have to point out that the US and Italian Flags on that shelf were something that we both got while in Epcot, a trip that (for me) was cut short because of an ambulance ride to the hospital (it was nothing).
The last piece on that shelf may be the piece that started it all for my brother’s Wonder Woman collection. He has always loved the show, the comics, and everything about her. At one point he had enough Wonder Woman stuff to fill that entire book case. Today he has a Wonder Woman ROOM!
As you move down a shelf, there are a load of pictures that I know just by looking at them. Even though they are blurry in this photo, I know exactly what they are. The first is a photo of my folks, my brother, and my grandma in Florida. It was one of those “old time” photos. I was off with my friends when they had it taken. Then there are photos of my Aunt Jodi and my grandma. I’m not sure where the cross came from, but it looks like maybe there is a rosary hanging from it. (We were raised Catholic, but no longer practice that). Then there is a photo of my other grandparents, my cheesy senior picture, my brother’s favorite photo of him and my grandpa, a Polaroid of a lot of us on squeezed on the couch with my other grandpa and our dad, and finally another old time photo of Chris and my dad in some Civil War get up.
I have to admit that the dog on the shelf below the photo shelf looked familiar. I kept thinking it was something like Teddy Ruxpin and I wasn’t far off. Long before they produced Webkinz, Ganz made Wrinkles Talking Dogs. When I looked it up, it said it was a puppet.
Each one of those dogs had a tag with a number on it, making each one unique. Ebay had one for sale – for $400!! Yikes.
Back to the photo…I remember Garfield being a big deal around this time. All of the school book sales had Garfield books, the book stores always had a big display of them, and it was always on the front page of the Sunday comics page. Not to mention the TV show and movies… I don’t remember my brother being into Garfield, but there he is with Odie. Another picture of grandma and Jodi in on that shelf, too.
Here’s where it get’s sketchy, but I can make out most of the rest of the photo. Below Garfield are Disney’s Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, and Goofy (that’s a tiny bit of his hat you can see). My brother has always loved Disney and goes there almost annually. If I had $5 for every Disney Character he has taken a photo with, I could maybe fund a trip to Disney!
Just a couple more observations. Next to the Disney stuffies, you can make out the top of an old time radio. I think, and I may be wrong, my brother and I both had one of these. You could listen to AM/FM radio on it and on the side was a spot you slid a cassette tape in to listen to it. We had MANY old radio shows on cassette and listened to them often.
Finally, in the bottom right corner of the photo is a TV. I laughed out loud when I saw the dials to change the channels on it! My first thought was that the box on top of it was a cable box, but it is too early for that. I’m pretty sure that was my brother’s alarm clock. That TV was the one we played Atari and Nintendo on back in the day. We may even have had a Betamax video player in there. Those were the days!!
I’ll have to find a photo of the shelves in my room to share one day. If I do, I will warn you, my room was always a disaster!
The above picture is of a grave marker designed by a grieving father in Utah. This photo has made the rounds on the internet for many years. Captions vary, but they all seem to include that the father created it to represent his paralyzed son reaching up to the sky from the wheelchair he spent his life in. It is said to represent that his son is finally “free from his earthly burdens.”
This image popped into my mind this afternoon as I walked into the church where my 10 year old sister-in-law’s viewing took place. My wife and her family were there before I arrived. I took Ella and Andrew to the baby sitter and joined them afterwards.
When I walked in, a video played with photos from Grace’s life. Her smile ever present. Instrumental Disney songs played along with the video. Grace loved Mickey and Minnie Mouse.
There was a beautiful blanket with her picture on it and “Always in Our Hearts” written in a Disney font off to the side. Surrounding her was a stuffed Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Pluto, and Goofy.
I once again remembered the image above. Grace is free from her earthly burdens. No more wheelchair, no more feeding tube, no more pain, and no more suffering. I personally believe, based on my knowledge of Scripture, that she is feeling a joy that none of us has ever experienced. She is walking, talking, and singing. What a wonderful thing to know.
As with any death, it is hardest on those who are left behind. There is a void. There is the adjustment that has to be made to their being absent from our lives. There is the grieving process that has to happen for each one of us (and every one will grieve differently). It will not be easy.
My heart sank as I read a Facebook post from my father-in-law the other day: “This morning was so different. Normally Pam starts Grace’s breathing treatments while I make my coffee, then Pam gets Grace’s meds made up while I finish her treatments. Drinking coffee with no Grace brought tears to my eyes then I remembered her body has been restored and she doesn’t need treatments anymore that made me smile. Pam and I are trying to adjust to our new normal. Thanks for all the phone calls texts visits and prayers.”
The “new normal” isn’t normal at all. There will be many adjustments and life goes on for the rest of us and there will be many emotional hurdles to get over in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead.
Grace’s memorial service will take place at noon Wednesday. I would appreciate your prayers and positive thoughts for my wife, her parents, and our family. It is going to be a very hard day.
It is no secret to anyone who follows my blog that I am a Band Nerd through and through! I have many wonderful memories of playing in band when I was in school. Many memories surround the high school Homecomings.
Homecoming was always on a Saturday. We’d start the day in the morning by marching in the parade. There would be an hour or so break between the end of the parade and the actual homecoming game. After the game, we’d all go home to shower and get ready for the dance that would take place that evening. It was an all day event.
Sam had mentioned earlier in the week that the homecoming parade for our local high school was tonight. We talked about taking the kids to watch it. The route is a short distance from our house, so we all dressed and loaded up the stroller and walked to get a good spot.
From where we stood, we could look down the street to see where the parade would be starting from. At 5pm on the dot, I could see the drum major leading the band out onto the main drag. Local police and fire trucks were usually at the head of our homecoming parades, but this one had the band front and center.
As the band approached, I awaited the “roll off” which would ultimately prompt the band to play the school song. The school song was always a song played on parade routes for us. There was usually one or two other songs we’d rotate through as we marched. If we were marching in a holiday parade, we might have a Christmas song in there.
The band kept coming closer and there was still no music. I figured they were waiting for a spot full of spectators before playing. Our drum majors often did this. If there was a stretch with just a few people, we marched without playing. However, if there was a big line of people along the route, you could rest assured we were playing.
Then I noticed why there was no music – the band members didn’t even have their instruments! The only ones who did were the drummers. I was floored (and disappointed) by this. It was a beautiful day – sunny and about 65 degrees at parade time – why were they not playing? I couldn’t even fathom this.
The band walked by and were all chanting or yelling something. It was probably “Go Mustangs” or “Hurray for Clio” or something like that. Why wouldn’t you want to belt out the school fight song along the route? I don’t get it. You are at the front of the parade – it’s your time to shine. You have that golden opportunity to set the stage for everything else that follows, and you just walk on by. Heck, they may as well have been throwing candy into the crowd like everyone else did in my opinion. They were no different than the boy scouts sitting on a flatbed …
When I think of a band in a parade, I think of brass players right out in front with their notes piercing through the air and letting everyone along the parade route know they are coming! They are belting out the school fight song that alumni along the road can sing along with and little kids can clap along with. Maybe it’s just a great march from John Phillip Sousa to fire up the crowd before they all file into the stands to watch the grid iron competition. The band is such an important part of a parade.
When they plan the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, they choose 10-12 high school or university bands from across the country to perform. That, in itself, tells you of the importance of the presence of a marching band in a parade. Last year in the Detroit Thanksgiving parade, there were 5 bands that performed. Even in the Mickey Mouse photo above, the characters are playing musical instruments. To me, this says that a band is vital to a good parade.
I remember vividly that our band director, Tom Shaner, would take us out at least once during homecoming week to march around the neighborhood in preparation for the parade. It was always neat to see people standing on their front porches to watch us go by. The kids who were too young to be in school would watch us and jump around and dance to the school song. Marching bands and music make people smile!
By definition, Homecoming is a long-standing American tradition where colleges and high schools would welcome alumni back to campus and the community. So when I graduated, we got some of the old band gang back together to march in the homecoming parade. Mr. Shaner was more than happy to have us back. A highlight of getting ready for the parade was meeting together a few weeks before hand to rehearse music. With all of us sitting around in the band room, it was like old times.
That first year we gathered up quite a group with good instrumentation and we marched. We used to joke that we’d need oxygen at the end of the parade! For many, we hadn’t picked up our horns in months or years! We always counted on the newly graduated to sort of carry the older folks.
A buddy’s brother designed our logo to put it on sweatshirts so we could all sort of be in uniform. What a blast we’d have getting together every year. Once Mr. Shaner retired, the interest to get together started to fade. I sure do miss playing my trumpet in those parades.
I’m not 100% sure why the local band didn’t play in the parade. Perhaps there is a specific reason. I don’t know. As a former band student, I was disappointed – not only for me, but for my kids (and all the kids on the parade route). I wanted them to hear the sounds of the band! I’m also disappointed for the band members. What is there to remember about your homecoming parade if you weren’t playing a special piece of music? Even if all you played was the school fight song 5-10 times along the route – play something! What kind of memory is just walking along? What is a marching band without music? I guess it’s just a bunch of people walking ….
To my Facebook friends, most of this blog is a recap of things I have already posted there. However, some of this is stuff I want documented in my blog for future viewing.
Andrew
Ok, I’m not going to lie, this is something that makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. Sam had AJ in a striped onesie recently and I only saw him in it briefly. Then, on one of my days off, I put him in the same onesie. I couldn’t really place what it made me think of at first, and then it hit me! I had to do a “comparison” picture.
AJ and Curly from the short “Dizzy Pilots”
What is even funnier is that I was wearing a shirt that had stripes on it a few years ago in a picture and my dad is the one who told me it reminded him of Curly from that short. Personally, I think AJ’s shirt is much closer to Curly’s. Now, if you are talking hair … then I am closer to Curly!
I’m not sure what it is, but I seem to make AJ smile a lot. Sam even said that I make him smile more than she does. I’m not sure that is the case, but I won’t lie, when he smiles at me – it is one of the many things that make me so very happy.
His hair reminds us of Ella when she was a baby. Depending on the light, it can look brown, blonde, or red. I guess we have to wait a bit to see what color it winds up being!
Ella
So we had a little snow storm here in Michigan this week. I think the “official” total accumulation was about 10 inches where we live. That is about half of what they said it was going to be. Because of the storm, many patients called and cancelled their sleep studies. That meant that I got called off and got an extra night home with the family.
For dinner last night, Ella wanted pancakes. I thought I would be the “cool” dad and attempt to make some Mickey or Minnie Mouse pancakes for her. She’s been watching Minnie Mouse on TV a lot, so I though she would think they were cool! So I fired up the griddle and made these beauties for her:
I was pretty excited about how they came out. I put them on the plate, walk them over to her and say, “Look, baby! What do they look like?”
She looks at them and back at me and replies, “pancakes!”
As one of my Facebook friends observed – “She’s not wrong!”
After dinner, she grabbed a few books to read. She has this Pete the Cat book that had a sheet of stickers in it. She’s been all about stickers lately. We’ve been finding them stuck all over the house in random places – on the bathroom wall, on the living room floor, inside the kitchen cupboard doors, etc…
I was on the floor with her and AJ and she began to place her stickers on a huge canvas …
MY HEAD!
At one point she tried to put one on my eye! I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and as I was walking out, Sam was walking in. She began laughing because when I removed the stickers, I had forgotten one and had actually fallen asleep with it still on my noggin!
Today, before I took my nap before work, I wanted to get out with the snow blower and go over the driveway and sidewalks again. Before I did that, though, we bundled Ella up so she could go outside and play in the snow. I pulled her around on her sled for a bit before we attempted to go out into the snow on the lawn.
10 inches of snow made it pretty hard for her to walk around, so I kept shuffling in my boots to clear a path for her. That allowed her to play in the snow for a bit. She seemed to like falling in the snow better anyway. I showed her how to make some snow angels, but I think she just thought I was being silly. The wind cut our play short. Her nose and cheeks were really red when we went in the house. We were probably only outside for 10 minutes.
What a joy it is to spend some one on one time with her in the snow! She loves being outside!
Sadly, play time ended and when she went inside, I pulled out the snow blower and cleared snow before napping.
So many fun moments with the kids this week! God, do I love them!
…we learned how to read the face of a clock and tell time. In math class we were even tested on clock faces!!
Once I learned how to tell time, my folks bought me a watch. I remember that watch so well. It was HUGE on my little wrist. It had a thick black wrist band and the watch had a thick, curved piece of glass over the watch face. When I did a search on Google, my watch immediately popped up. It was a Mickey Mouse watch.
From everything I could find, this model first appeared in about 1971, so it would have been a few years old by the time I wore it on my wrist. I remember having to wind it every day or it would stop working. You really can’t tell from this picture, but the glass covering the watch face is very thick and weighed a lot (for a watch). I remember how heavy my wrist felt when I wore it.
I would often find myself staring at the watch and waiting for the minute “hand” to move. I loved that Mickey’s hands were the hands of the watch! I had never seen anything like this, and it really helped me to tell time.
As weird as it may sound, I remember the smell of the leather band it was on. I remember having to tighten the band to almost the last notch for it to stay on my wrist. For some reason, I thought mine had a second hand on it, but all of the ones I found did not. Some of the watches I found had a small circle on the bottom that counted the seconds, but those were mostly stopwatches.
Word is that these watches are worth money today. I wish as a child I would have taken better care of my stuff. I have no idea whatever became of the watch. It remains a fond memory. I wish I still had it….
With the upcoming birth of our daughter, my wife will often quiz me on Disney Princesses. This will be my first daughter and princesses are kind of a big deal! When Sam is getting ready for work she will often listen to her Disney Pandora channel. When a song comes on, she will ask, “What’s this one from?” Sometimes, I get it right, and sometimes I get it wrong. I have titled this blog “Let It Go” because it ties in with Disney Princesses and the apology I am about to make.
Remember Dana Carvey’s “Grumpy Old Man” character on SNL?
I’m not sure I have been quite as obnoxious as that character, but I know that I have gone against so many of the things I have posted in the past few months. I guess this proves three things (1) I am human (2) practicing what you preach can be difficult and (3) I need to always remind myself to “Let it go”.
I know for a fact that I have been in a “mood”, because I haven’t blogged as often as I have wanted to. My mind has been preoccupied with BS that I cannot control. I’ve never been able to really meditate or do “mindfulness” stuff, maybe because I can never seem to find a place and a time where there are no distractions. I wish I could, that might help.
So today’s blog is an apology, mainly to my wife, who knew things were bugging me and made me aware of it. It is an apology to my friends, who I have called and vented and ranted and raved to. It is an apology to you, because I am not a hypocrite, and need to practice what I preach. It is also an apology to myself, because I should never have let myself get to this place. I know better.
Time is precious, as I have stated in past blogs, so why spend so much time wasting it on worthless bullshit? I guess I have spent so much of my life doing it, that it is a hard habit to break. I have come a LONG way, but I was reminded this week that it doesn’t just go away, I still have to keep working on it. I’m an old dog, and this is a new trick. I must constantly be aware of the techniques I have learned to cope with certain situations and certain people. I must consistently practice them, not only for my own sense of well-being, but for those around me.
So I have gone back to my many notes and have compiled a mini-list of ways to “Let It Go”. They include:
Stop Talking About It
Complaining is almost a natural response to being upset. Talking about it constantly isn’t going to help me (or anyone). Complaining basically stimulates my mind to keep thinking about it. Many times, as I have learned in hindsight, complaining can make a small issue, bigger than it is. Hey, sometimes you gotta vent and get things off your chest, but I guess the key to it is to vent and move on. Once it’s talked about, be done with it.
Put It In Perspective
“What’s the most likely thing that can happen?” When you ask yourself that, you can see possible outcomes and even realize that you can get through it. We tend to think of the “worst case scenarios” and go there without ever considering the other perspectives. It’s hard to remember that you often think about would “could” or “might” happen instead of what actually will happen. A great practice I was told to try was to ask, “How much is this going to matter tomorrow?” “How much will this matter in a year?”
Let Go of Control
The old saying holds true here: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.” If life has taught us anything, it is that we cannot control the behaviors of others or the random events in life. What we CAN control is how we react or respond to those things! This is my biggest challenge. It is extremely difficult for me to use the “Gray Rock” method. I mean, I’m Italian, I talk with my hands! It goes against all that I have ever known, but I know that it’s the way to react to certain individuals.
Recognize the “Crazy”
How appropriate is Mickey Mouse here? Disney! It all ties in! LOL!
With some people, you simply have to remind yourself of WHO you are dealing with! I have to remind myself that they probably suffer from some sort of mental illness. Perhaps it’s Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Bi-Polar Disorder (the signs are there for both). This person is like an angry teen who needs control over everything. When they do not get their way, there is a meltdown. “You need to treat them like an immature child” I was told. So true.
Understand that these people need “you to be the enemy”. This only makes them look better to those who don’t know your side of the story. They will elaborate and create stories to make you look bad. It’s what they do. It’s part of the mental illness. You can’t control this, and I have already talked about the things you can’t control. If you can recognize the “crazy”, it will help you to deal with the craziness that comes with interactions with them.
I love Maya Angelou’s advice, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Recognize who they are!
Set Boundaries and End the Drama
In some cases, communication has to happen with certain people. When vocal communication gets hostile, whether on the phone or in person, the conversation needs to end. If this happens regularly, then communications need to be done through text or e-mail. This will avoid (1) one person interrupting (2) yelling and raising voices and (3) the need to say sarcastic or under the breath comments or insults. This will (1) allow for a “paper trail” of the communication (2) no contact communication and (3) allows for short and concise communication.
Set the boundaries and stick with them. Don’t let others take advantage of you, use you, or guilt you into doing things or thinking things. Be the constant!
Closing thought
Someone sent me a Facebook message recently that said “you can’t let the behavior of others steal your joy. But if you do, it’s your choice. Focus on being the best and happiest that you can be – that’s where your energy should go. Set the best example you can and spend time and energy on people who lift you higher.” There is a lot of truth in that.
Various Ramblings of a Nostalgic Italian 