May I Have This Dance?

Sam pointed out to me that next to Christmas, the day of the Daddy Daughter Dance is what our daughter looks forward to most. She is SO right. We’ve been counting down the days since Christmas!

Thanks to the steroids that the doctor put me on, I packed on a few more pounds than I anticipated. So, I had to alter my outfit at the last minute. Ella, of course, noticed. She asked, “Aren’t you going to wear a tie tonight, daddy?” I told her this year I wanted to be different, and she was ok with that lame excuse.

She looked just beautiful. What an honor to be escorting her to the dance.

We arrived early, and she insisted that she wanted to go inside. I told her we were 30 minutes early and the door was probably locked. She made me get out of the car and try the door, which was open. LOL. We went upstairs to get the professional photo taken, then headed to the gym.

The DJ was already playing music. He was one of those “gotta mix the songs at the same beat guys.” I’ve never been that way. I always felt it sounded weird when two songs were playing at the same time for 30 seconds. Ella didn’t notice and started to dance, even though she was one of four girls in the gym.

The theme this year was Barbie. So we had to get a photo with Ken and Barbie.

They also had a Barbie car for us. Naturally, I let Ella drive….

I think we just avoided hitting a roadrunner on that trip!

One of the projects that we could do together was to “bedazzle” some sunglasses. We made a pair for each of us. She said she wanted to make glasses for her brother and for her mom, so we went back later and did that.

She requested Let It Go from Frozen and we got to dance to that again. Three years in a row, that has been our first dance together. A while later, she was sitting drinking water and they played My Girl by the Temptations. I said, “Oh, Daddy loves this song!” She set her water bottle down and said, “Then we have to dance to it!” I picked her up and swayed with her, singing it to her. She was all smiles.

Not too long ago, on my Music of My Life feature, I mentioned how the song Daughters by John Mayer took on a new meaning when I became “girl dad.” Well, that new meaning went a lot deeper last night. This will forever be one of the best moments of my life:

When Daughters started to play, we were still swaying. She put her arms around my neck and leaned her head against mine. I reached up and wrapped my arm around her. For 4 minutes, it was just her and me. I swayed with my eyes closed, holding back tears. It was the most amazing dance. I was lost in my thoughts, too.

I know that as a 54 year old man, I may not be around when she gets married. We may never get the chance to have THAT Daddy/Daughter dance. So I treasure the ones we do get, and that one was extra special!

Every year, we take pre-dance pictures. It is amazing to compare them and see how much she has grown. This year’s was eye opening. In the first one, she still has that “baby” look to her. She would have been three for that dance. My beard gets more grey in them, too. The photos are a reminder of just how fast time goes by and how every moment is important.

Ella, thank you for spending such an amazing evening with me. Every day my love for you grows. I am already looking forward to next year’s dance. I love you forever!

Daddy

My Heart is Full

Recently I posted a blog that was difficult to write. It was regarding some things with my son. It dealt with some hurt I was sorting through. I am happy to say that I was able to see him today.

He is currently having difficulty with a summer school math class. He asked if he could come over and see if I could help him. I told him that I would do my best, but math – algebra, in particular – was certainly not by best subject.

Last night at work, I had a patient who was a no-show. Honestly, I wanted to pack up and head home immediately. However, there were studies that needed to be scored and submitted, so I stayed and did that. I was able to leave work about two hours early. When I got home everyone was still sleeping, and rather than crawl in bed with Sam (who had Andrew sleeping next to her), I went out to the couch and fell asleep.

When they woke up, they came out and woke me up. I helped Sam with some things and then went to bed so that I could at least have some sleep before my son arrived. I had told my ex to bring him over at around the kid’s nap time so that I could work with him. To my surprise, my oldest son wound up bringing him over.

We got to spend a bit talking about some things that needed to be addressed (some of the things in the previous blog), and just catching up. My oldest son was going to meet me at where we normally do drop off and pick up later this evening.

My son and I spent about 3 and a half hours looking at problems and searching my old college algebra books to see if we could figure out how to do them. I even called my buddy from school who is my “go to” math guy a couple times to see if he could help. We didn’t do fantastic, and I hope that it is good enough for him to pass the class.

Sam left for work about 5:30 and I packed up the kids around 6 to head to the drop off. When I arrived, my son was already there. He is in college, has a job, and is always with his friends, so Ella and Andrew rarely get to see him. Ella knows who he is because of pictures on the wall. She prays every night for her big and little brothers.

She was in her car seat and I rolled her window down so she could say hello. She asked to get out because she wanted to hug my oldest. Is was so cute. I naturally took Andrew out of his seat too, because my son wanted to hold him. He commented that he had the bluest eyes. He was surprised when I told him he was walking. I told him they are getting big very fast and he should come over to visit more.

It was the first opportunity in forever that all four of my kids were together in one place. My oldest tried to snap a selfie, which was cute, but I wanted a picture of all of them.

We found a place in the parking lot where they could all sit and after a few tries to get everyone looking at the camera – I got one. It is perfect. All four of them together.

My blessings – Andrew, Dimitri, Ella, and Dante’

I am overwhelmed with joy as I look at this photo. I never really understood unconditional love until I became a father. I understand how God loves me, despite all of my faults and screw-ups, unconditionally. I understand it, because, I will always love these amazing kids that way – no matter what.

One of the coolest moments happened after the picture was taken. I mentioned to Ella that the boys had to get going because they were going to stop by a classic car show. She said ok, and when they stood up, as my oldest began to walk, she ran up to him and grabbed his hand and held it all the way to the car!

I was so glad I still had my phone in my hand so I could capture it. He helped her into her car seat and actually buckled her in as I got Andrew in his seat. She looked at him and said, “I love you, Dante’!” which I think really took him by surprise. He said “I love you, too!” and then she told Dimitri she loved him too. What an amazing moment to witness. They both went to Andrew and and he smiled at them, before we all got in our cars and left to go home.

After we video chatted with mommy at work, we decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. Ella was excited because she got to see 4 puppies who were out walking while we were. She had to get out of her seat and say hello to them all!

We came home and it was bedtime, so I helped her brush her teeth ad within minutes of hitting the pillow, she was asleep. Andrew took a bit longer to fall asleep. As soon as they were down, I fixed a salad and began typing this. I’ve only had 3 hours sleep today and really should have just gone to bed …. However, I wanted to share my happiness while I was still smiling about it.

Tonight, I head to bed with a heart full of love, joy, gratitude, understanding, and happiness!

Thanks for reading.