I can still remember feeling humbled and honored when she asked me. My friend Margaret was expecting her first child. She asked me if I would be the baby’s Godfather.
This would have been right around the time I was dating my ex, not yet married. I had no idea what a wedge my ex would put between Margaret and me. I also had no idea how my ex would keep me away from my Goddaughter, too.
Marissa was a beautiful baby. As crazy as it sounds, there was a lot of pressure on us Godparents the day of her baptism. I was well versed in America’s Funniest Home Videos where the baby slips out of a Godparent’s arm into the baptismal or the Godparent gets peed on.
Thankfully, it all went off without a hitch. This photo is of Margaret, her ex-husband, me and Marissa outside the church. I don’t know that I have a photo of me holding her on that day, which is sad.
I lost many years with Margaret and Marissa because of my ex. It was obvious that she did not care for Margaret. So because of that, she made it impossible for us to ever get together.
After my divorce and remarriage, I was so glad that Margaret and I picked right up where we left off. This also led to a reconnection with my Goddaughter.
I love this photo, but it reminds me that there should have been years worth of pictures of the two of us …
While she has been mentioned before in a few blogs, I have one friend who has never had one completely devoted to her. Today, on her birthday, I want to rectify that.
As we get older, memories tend to fade. Details can get lost. We may remember things a bit differently than they actual happened. That’s one of the reasons I try to put things down here on my blog, to preserve those memories. Earlier this week, I focused on music from 1982, which is where we have to go for the beginning of my friendship with Margaret.
In our school district, there were like seven or eight elementary schools. So when we merged together in 7th grade, we met a whole lot of new people and made many new friends. I am sure that Margaret and I had more than just one class together in 7th grade, but I just don’t really remember anything but band class.
I can almost bet that I was the one who started talking to her. I remember thinking that she was pretty and so I bugged her a lot. I know that I drove her crazy. I was a pest. FYI – junior high Keith was a real dork. Yet, she was sweet and talked to me. Before the summer, we swapped phone numbers. I spent a lot of time on the phone talking to her in 7th and 8th grade. This was in the days before “call-waiting” and it drove my mom crazy that I tied up the phone. I’m sure her folks felt the same way.
I remember passing notes in the hallway in school. Recently she sent me a picture of one that I wrote her. It was folded and read “To: A sexy girl I just happened to see walking down the hall and is my bestest friend. From: Some Goon.” I laughed. It was totally something I would write. I’m sure there was little or no content in the letter, more than likely it read, “This class sucks. What are you doing later? Steve broke my trumpet today,” or something like that.
Our friendship grew throughout high school. We became very close. I think her folks, my folks, and certainly my grandparents wanted us to date, but we had a very special friendship and that was fine with us. We never dated, but went on dates, if that makes sense. We went to a few dances together in school (Homecoming, Snowball Dance). After one of those dances, I remember we were sitting in her driveway and ready to wrap up the evening. We had been talking and knowing that she was going to go in the house, we both sat there for a minute. I’m pretty sure I was the one who moved in for a kiss, and as we got close to each other, we both started laughing. We just knew that we’d never be more than friends.
We both had Ford Escorts our senior year of high school. She tried to teach me how to drive a stick shift in hers in the school parking lot. I just wasn’t getting it and most likely burned out her clutch. She got me back one day, though. I was in the band room early, as I always was. She came busting through the band room doors and said, “Where’s Keith!!??” I came out of the band library and she was crying saying, “I hit your car!” The parking lot was icy and she slid into the bumper of my car and caused it to dent in. It was really nothing and we both laugh about that to this day.
Margaret was always smarter than me. She was in the higher math and English classes. She was always getting her homework done (unlike me). She did like to cause trouble occasionally. I am sure that I blogged about this before, but Margaret, Ronnie and I all went out to TP our friend Steve’s house for his birthday. After the job, we stood on his front lawn and looked up at his bedroom window and sang “Happy Birthday.” As we turned to run away, the three of us were grabbed by a couple policemen who threw us in the back of their police cruiser. I think we all thought we were going to jail! Graduation wasn’t too far away and I remember freaking out! Steve’s mom smoothed it over for us and we were all let go – to clean up our mess.
After high school, she was off to college and would go on to become a nurse. She got married and had children before I did. At this point, let me quote from an earlier blog (1/1/2020):
When her daughter, Marissa, was born she asked me to be her Godfather. I was honored to do it. A Godfather is a very important role for an Italian. When I got married the first time, sadly, I saw less and less of Margaret and my Goddaughter. Whenever I was supposed to get together with them, I was always informed that we couldn’t go or we had something to do with my ex’s family. (If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you are well aware of the narcissism that I dealt with and how miserable my life had become.)
After the divorce, Margaret was one of the first to reach out to me. She completely understood what was going on. Her forgiveness meant everything to me. I hurt her. I was hurt, too. I lost many years of our friendship, and I lost so many moments with my Goddaughter. After all of that, Margaret (and many other friends) had every right to just stop talking to me, but our friendship meant so much, that we have picked up where we left off.
When I attended my Goddaughter’s 21st birthday party, I pulled her aside and apologized for missing so many important things in her life. How do you explain that to someone? As I looked back on the past, my stomach was in knots. I was sickened to think of how I must have made so many people feel. She didn’t bat an eye, however, and told me she loved me and we all enjoyed a great evening! I remember driving home from her party crying my eyes out. It wasn’t fair to her that I missed so many things. It makes me angry to know that I missed so much, but I am also happy that I can try to make up for lost time with her!
From that party – two of my favorite pictures:
Shortly before our daughter was born, Sam and I went to lunch/drinks with Margaret and her husband Walt. We really had a great time. We laughed a lot and shared some stories (like the ones above) that our spouses were hearing for the first time). Much like Sam, Margaret was also a very important part of my post-divorce life. Reconnecting with her was so special to me. Again, from that earlier blog:
During lunch, Margaret said something that struck a chord. It was something that made me sad, and happy at the same time. She said, “I have seen you more and talked to you more in the past two years, than the entire time you were married.” This made me sad, because of what I touched on early – a great friendship almost destroyed, as well as the relationship between my Goddaughter and me, all because of the stupidity of someone else. It made me happy to know that our friendship remains and will grow even stronger in the years ahead.
It has certainly done that! She and Walt brought us food at the hospital the night Ella was born. She has become the most amazing aunt to Ella and Andrew! She loves them so much and spoils them rotten. What a blessing she is to me and my family.
Margaret,
I can’t help but think back on the incredible and amazing journey of our friendship. I am reminded of the countless moments that have brought so much joy and meaning to my life. From the day we met, I knew there was something special about you, beside you being Italian! I am so grateful for your genuine kindness, your support and advice, and of course, your infectious laughter. Throughout it all, your constant support has been a source of comfort and inspiration for me.
On your birthday, I want to tell you how much you mean to me. For years, you have been a rock through thick and thin, always there to listen and offer non-biased advice and counsel. You’ve celebrated my successes as if they were your own and offered me an ear during my toughest times. Our friendship is a treasure that I cherish deeply.
I read something recently that I can easily apply to you and me: “Everyone has ‘a friend’ for each stage of life, but only lucky ones have that ‘same friend’ in all stages of life.” THANK YOU for being that ‘same friend” to me!
Today, I wish you happiness, love, and laughter. I thank you for all the wonderful memories of the past and look ahead to many more in the future. I love you, my friend.
This weekend was just wonderful! My Goddaughter and her fiancé got married on Saturday. I was honored to be able to DJ the wedding for them.
Before I tell you more, I want to give a little backstory. Just after we rang in the year 2020, and before Covid closed everything, I blogged about my Goddaughter and her mom. I think in order to fully understand what I was feeling this weekend, it is worth revisiting:
January 1, 2020
Today, we met one of my oldest and dearest friends for lunch. Margaret and I have been friends since junior high. We are both Italian. My folks loved her, and her folks loved me. I think they probably both thought that we would date or something, but that never happened. We both went to a few dances together, but that was about as close to “dating” as it got. We were just really good friends and that made us both happy. We were officers in band together, we dressed up as twins for Twin Day, she and I both took a senior picture together, and spent many hours on the phone. She was/is one of my best friends!
When her daughter, Marissa, was born she asked me to be her Godfather. I was honored to do it. A Godfather is a very important role for an Italian. When I got married the first time, sadly, I saw less and less of Margaret and my Goddaughter. Whenever I was supposed to get together with them, I was always informed that we couldn’t go or we had something to do with my ex’s family. (If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you are well aware of the narcissism that I dealt with and how miserable my life had become.)
After the divorce, Margaret was one of the first to reach out to me. She completely understood what was going on. Her forgiveness meant everything to me. I hurt her. I was hurt, too. I lost many years of our friendship, and I lost so many moments with my Goddaughter. After all of that, Margaret (and many other friends) had every right to just stop talking to me, but our friendship meant so much, that we have picked up where we left off.
When I attended my Goddaughter’s 21st birthday party, I pulled her aside and apologized for missing so many important things in her life. How do you explain that to someone? As I looked back on the past, my stomach was in knots. I was sickened to think of how I must have made so many people feel. She didn’t bat an eye, however, and told me she loved me and we all enjoyed a great evening! I remember driving home from her party crying my eyes out. It wasn’t fair to her that I missed so many things. It makes me angry to know that I missed so much, but I am also happy that I can try to make up for lost time with her!
Sam and I were going to see what Margaret and her husband, Walt, were doing on New Year’s Eve and found out she was working that night. So they met us at one of the nearby bars for lunch on New Year’s Day. We enjoyed some amazing burgers, and enjoyed good conversation. There is always a lot of laughter when we get together, story telling with wild hand gestures (it is the Italian in us!) and usually some profanity! It was truly a wonderful afternoon. We hope to be able to do it more often!
During lunch, Margaret said something that struck a chord. It was something that made me sad, and happy at the same time. She said, “I have seen you more and talked to you more in the past two years, that the entire time you were married.” This made me sad, because of what I touched on early – a great friendship almost destroyed as well as the relationship between my Goddaughter and me, all because of the stupidity of someone else. It made me happy to know that our friendship remains and will grow even stronger in the years ahead.
Shortly After That
My daughter Ella was born just over a month later. Margaret and Walt made the drive up to the hospital that night with Olive Garden dinners for Sam and me, and also a ton of soup and breadsticks for the hospital staff on our floor!
Ella loves her Aunt Margaret. Margaret has shown so much love to her and Andrew. Ella thanks God for her every night when she prays. Margaret refers to them as “my babies!” Thanks to technology, they love being able to video chat with her anytime!
Last week, Margaret and I got into one of those deep conversations. The years I missed came up. The deep regret that I hate thinking about . The “What Ifs” and such. We had been talking about my kids. She told me that she had always wanted to do that for my older boys, too! Thanks to my ex, that was never to be. All the hurt I felt about missing time with Marissa and I never really realized just how much hurt Margaret felt about missing time with my boys.
Sigh. On to happier stuff….
September 23, 2023
Saturday, I arrived at the breathtaking tree farm where the wedding was to be held. The first person I saw was the groom to be, Connor. He’s a great guy and I know that he is going to be a great husband. I asked him if he was nervous, and he said he was. Marissa and Connor have been together for 7 years. They are perfect together. I don’t remember what I told him, but I assured him all would go well.
When Marissa arrived, they shuffled Connor into the lodge area so he couldn’t see her. She came over and embraced me for a hug. She didn’t even have her dress on yet, and she was just stunning. We talked a briefly and then she was off to get ready.
I saw Margaret out in front of the lodge as I parked my father-in-law’s truck (which he let me borrow so I could fit everything in it!). She was busy putting out fires on the cell phone and with people at the venue.
It didn’t take me too long to get set up. It was hot, so I was glad I hadn’t arrived in my suit. I went to change and by then, we were about an hour and a half away from the ceremony. The families all came out and the photographers got pictures done before the ceremony, which you don’t see too often. But I get it, the sun was perfect and I know that they got some amazing pictures. I, however, only got two. One of Margaret and me, and the other with Marissa.
The ceremony was just wonderful. I was sitting next to Chris, a mutual friend of Margaret and me. She asked if I was going to need a tissue. I told her probably, but I passed her back the tissue pack. Once Marissa and her dad began walking down the aisle, I could feel those tears well up.
Their officiant knew both of them very well and shared some very funny stories. At the same time, he was very professional. Marissa and Connor each wrote their own vows. They read like a love story. Wow, the looks that they gave each other throughout the ceremony and the sharing of their vows….. It was a powerful example of true love. Again, I held back tears.
I’ve DJ’s many weddings, but this was the first where a grand entrance was timed down to the second! They entered to Natalie Cole’s This Will Be (An Everlasting Love). I had a cue sheet with the time and the lyrics along with the couples that were entering at that time. They had it timed perfectly.
After the grand entrance, Marissa and Connor had put together a dance for their first song. It was such a joy to watch these two execute their moves to perfection. I was glad that a little hiccup that could have meant me not having their song was an easy fix. In all my years doing weddings, this was only the third time the bride and groom had choreographed their first dance. It was beautiful.
It was after this that I saw Margaret become “that Italian mom.” Let me explain. No one had filled the glasses of the head table and when we went to do toasts, there was nothing to toast! They decided to let people eat and they would toast during dinner while someone filled glasses. That someone – was Margaret. She came busting out of the lodge with bottle of wine in each hand. She walked to every person with an empty glass and asked, “White or red?”
She was the first table called to eat after the head table. Yet, she was like the last in line to eat! I had to tell her to get a plate. She naturally swore at me and moved through the buffet line.
Toasts from the Best Man, Maid of Honor, and the fathers of both the Bride and Groom followed. The Best Man impressed me with a perfect line. He stated that he and Connor had been best friends forever. He stated that he was happy to give up that title, because Marissa would now forever be his best friend. Good stuff!
After dinner, Marissa danced with her dad and Connor danced with his mom. Then the dance floor opened for the night. Music was not an issue, as they had given me plenty of songs to choose from. There is never enough time to get through the entire list. There were plenty of requests and the crowd seemed to be having a good time.
I naturally brought out the groom and the groomsmen, who had no idea why I called them out to the floor. I passed out a cowboy hat, and Indian head dress, a policeman’s hat, a sailor hat, and a biker hat. I led them through some silly moves and we did the YMCA together. This is always silly and they guys had fun. I even got to embarrass myself as I walked through the crown lip synching “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis with my terrible Elvis wig.
There were so many things from the evening that I will remember, but the one thing that will stick with me forever is just how beautiful Marissa looked.
I am so happy for her. I am excited to hear about all the things that are ahead for her and Connor. Random thought: Is he now my Godson-in-law? I’d be ok with that.
On my hour drive home, there was a lot of time to think about the day. I smiled again as I recalled the vows, the first dance, the last dance, and more. I had to pull over when the sadness crept in with the memory of the lost time with her. I had to remind myself that that is all in the past, and there will be more happy days ahead. Plenty of happy days, I am sure of it!
Congratulations to Marissa and Connor. Your love for each other will carry you through the tough storms … and God will get you through the rest!
Some days I look at my blog notebook and wonder just what I will blog about. I have a few in my draft folder that are ready to be posted for some blog events that I am taking part in. Then I have a few that are bullet points and more like idea starters. Over the past couple days, my blogs have ranged from silliness to serious. Today, however, there was no doubt whatsoever about what I would write about. The news is just too good!
When I woke up this afternoon, I grabbed my phone off the bedside table and went into the living room. I glanced briefly at my phone, but without my readers on, I can’t really see much. I could make out that my Goddaughter, Marissa, had texted me. There was a picture attached, but again, I couldn’t really see it.
Sam told me that AJ was probably ready for a bottle and I began making it. Sam went to get Ella up from her nap and then she was going to lay down for a bit. I set my phone down on the arm rest next to me so I could feed the baby. After he was finished, I grabbed my phone and remembered the text.
I had no idea what Marissa could be sending me. I figured maybe a picture of her and me, or her and Ella came up in Facebook memories or something and she was sending it. I opened up the text and saw this picture (and yes, she’ll probably kill me for posting this, but that’s what proud and happy uncles do):
I must have looked at the picture for 2 to 3 minutes without anything even registering. Then I read the text that accompanied it, which moved me to very happy tears:
“Hey Uncle Keith, we wanted to let you know before we posted on social media – Connor and I got engaged on Tuesday! Love You!”
I read that three times before I could even respond! I am SO happy for them! That text message so much to me. This was such amazing news to wake up to! I am so excited for them.
After texting her back, and congratulating her, I opened my Facebook and saw the link to the photos of the event. Her fiancé, Connor, had arranged for a photographer to be there to capture the moment. The pictures are simply beautiful. You can see just how happy they both make each other!
Marissa’s mom (Aunt Margaret) called me not too long ago and cried happy tears about how thankful she is to be a part of Ella and Andrew’s life. (She will deny crying – but, she did) Today, it was my turn to call her and cry. What an amazing moment to be able to share together! She told me that the proposal was set to happen at another time and place, but life got in the way and it was unable to happen. I’m happy that it all went without a hitch this time!
Marissa and Connor – Congratulations to you both. You are a beautiful couple and you both make each other so happy. While I’ve witnessed many wonderful and amazing things in my life, this is without a doubt one of the best. I wish you both a life full of love and happiness.
Hello and Happy New Year! I hope that this blog finds you well and that you had a fantastic holiday season! Wow, it’s 2020! For the next few months I will wonder whether to refer to it as “twenty twenty” or “two thousand twenty”! Which is correct?!?
One thing that was mentioned at work before the new year, and something I have seen posed on some local and national news feeds that is worth mentioning is that you should probably avoid abbreviating the new year on documents this year. When you abbreviate 1/3/20, keep in mind that someone can easily add 02, 17, or 10 to the end of it to make it 2002, 2017, or 2010. There’s my public service announcement for the year!
Sam and I were quite busy over the past 5 days! We have been in the process of taking our dining room and turning it into a nursery for the baby. We basically made a wall and a half wall, which created her nursery, a hallway, and added a wall in the kitchen. The dining room originally looked like this:
The wall was erected just to the right of the light switch and ran right to the edge of the counter top you see in the lower right of the above picture. There was no wall in front of this part of the counter, so we built one to finish the room.
December 31, 2019
On New Year’s Eve, my father-in-law came over to help me put up some of the final pieces of trim, and to put shiplap up in the kitchen. The original thought was that we would put up the shiplap and then paint it. However, when we saw it up, we liked the look of the wood as it was, so we will probably just stain it. We feel that it gives the kitchen a “cabin” feel. As a bonus, I was allowed to use table saws and a nail gun!
By the time we finished, Sam and I ran out and grabbed some burgers and watched TV on the couch. Since we have been together, we have never been able to spend New Year’s Eve together, because she worked. Until this year, I’d call her at 11:55 pm, and tell her I loved her when the new year rang in. This year, it was just her and I on the couch, and we finally got to kiss at midnight. I felt like I was in high school again! I know it is something so simple, but it meant a lot to have her with me this year.
This year I bounced from channel to channel. In year’s past, I always watched Dick Clark ring in the new year. As sad as it was to see him on the show after his stroke, it was still Dick Clark. New Year’s Eve and Dick Clark went hand in hand! Ryan Seacrest is everywhere, and while he may be a decent host, I always feel like they find annoying co-hosts to put with him. I don’t know who the gal was who co-hosted this year, but every time they cut to her, I felt like it I was dumber for having listened to her. I tried to watch Steve Harvey, who was also in Time Square, but everything seems forced with him. I found him even more annoying. Carson Daily was ok, but he was almost too relaxed. I bounced round and eventually stopped back on Seacrest for the ball drop. We kissed, and were probably in bed by 12:30am.
January 1, 2020
New Year’s Day, we met one of my oldest and dearest friends for lunch. Margaret and I have been friends since junior high. We are both Italian. My folks loved her, and her folks loved me. I think they probably both thought that we would date or something, but that never happened. We both went to a few dances together, but that was about as close to “dating” as it got. We were just really good friends and that made us both happy. We were officers in band together, we dressed up as twins for Twin Day, she and I both took a senior picture together, and spent many hours on the phone. She was/is one of my best friends!
When she had her daughter, Marissa, was born, she asked me to be her Godfather. I was honored to do it. When I got married the first time, sadly, I saw less and less of Margaret and my Goddaughter. Whenever I was supposed to get together with them, I was always informed that we couldn’t go or we had something to do with my exes family. After the divorce, Margaret was one of the first to reach out to me. She completely understood what was going on. I lost many years of our friendship, and I lost so many moments with my Goddaughter. After all of that, Margaret (and many other friends) had every right to just stop talking to me, but our friendship meant so much, that we have picked up where we left off.
When I attended my Goddaughter’s 21st birthday party, I pulled her aside and apologized for missing so many important things in her life. How do you explain that to someone? She didn’t bat an eye, told me she loved me and we all enjoyed a great evening! I remember driving home from her party crying my eyes out. It wasn’t fair to her that I missed so many things. It makes me angry to know that I missed so much, but I am also happy that I can try to make up for lost time with her!
We were going to see what Margaret and her husband, Walt, were doing on New Year’s Eve and found out she was working that night. So they met us at one of the nearby bars for lunch on New Year’s Day. It was a bit loud as the Michigan game was on. We enjoyed some amazing burgers, and enjoyed good conversation. There is always a lot of laughter when we get together, story telling with wild hand gestures (it is the Italian in us!) and usually some profanity! It was truly a wonderful afternoon. We hope to be able to do it more often!
During lunch, Margaret said something that struck a chord. It was something that made me sad, and happy at the same time. She said, “I have seen you more and talked to you more in the past two years, that the entire time you were married.” This made me sad, because of what I touched on early – a great friendship almost destroyed and the relationship between me and my Goddaughter all because of the stupidity of someone else. It made me happy to know that our friendship remains and will grow even stronger in the years ahead.
A few more things …
We spent the remainder of the week finishing up the nursery. My mother-in-law came over and helped paint. We had put a coat on the nursery and the hallway, but we needed another coat. We then had to touch up some spots and paint the door. We finished all of that today. Her room will have a book case, a glider, and, of course, her crib. My sister-in-law is bringing the crib this weekend.
Before I could build those things, there were a few other things we had on the agenda today. At 3pm, I picked the boys up for the weekend. I feel like it’s been forever since we saw them, especially when I got to see so little of them this month. For Christmas I had gotten them each a book from Barnes and Nobel – both of which were wrong. So we stopped at Barnes and Nobel to exchange them. Dante’ had also received a gift card from my aunt to B&N, so he got to look for a few things. In the end, they both got their books and were happy.
Hoping to see her
When we found out the gender of our baby, we went to a 3D ultrasound place. We were given a coupon to come back for a discounted rate to have another one done at 30 weeks. We came back and found that the baby was Frank breech and couldn’t really get any good pictures. So they rescheduled one for today. We left Barnes and Nobel and met Sam at the ultrasound place. The good news is that the baby had flipped out of the breech position. The bad news was that she was sleeping and not in a good place for us to see her. They gave Sam juice in hopes that the sugar would wake her up. She drank the juice and we even took a walk around outside. When we came back, we still couldn’t get a good picture of her face. They were, however, able to record her heartbeat for us.
I thought Sam was going to throw up during it. The lady was really trying to get the baby to wake up. She kept rubbing Sam’s belly and poking and massaging her, but the baby would not move. We did get a semi-good profile shot. We also got to see that she has a lot of hair. We got a neat shot of her hand kind of making a fist, but NO good face picture. I admit, I was disappointed. I wanted to be able to take the 3D picture of her face and compare it with her birth picture like so many parents do, but I guess we just need to wait and see her beautiful face when she arrives.
They did say that her head was moving down, a sign that the baby is getting ready to arrive. We saw on the internet that cats will tend to be more cuddly with a pregnant woman as the baby is nearing birth. Our one dumb cat has been VERY close to Sam lately, so maybe its happening sooner than we think….
We ordered a pizza for the boys and we all came home. I built the glider and book case and placed them in her room. It is all coming together, and it is getting more and more real as each day goes by.
The paint is dry, but we want to wait a bit before putting up the wall decoration, which looks like this:
Cute, huh? I love it!!!
Well, it is late and I need to be up to be on the radio tomorrow. I will wrap things up for now. Tomorrow will be another busy day! After the radio station, we have to go grocery shopping, make a few stops, build the crib and hopefully get a second to relax before heading back to work.
Oh, and somewhere over the next 24 hours, we need to find our book from our birthing class….because our “go bag” still looks like this:
Various Ramblings of a Nostalgic Italian 