The Music of My Life – 1982

Welcome back to The Music of My Life, where I feature ten songs from each year of my life. In most cases, the ten songs I choose will be ones I like personally (unless I explain otherwise). The songs will be selected from Billboard’s Year-end Hot 100 Chart, Acclaimed Music, and will all be released in the featured year.

Let’s jump right into 1982. We start with a song that was released in January of ’82 in the United States. Believe it or not, this song would go on to have a special meaning for me and many others from my high school. More on that in a minute.

The Go-Go’s were one of those bands who wrote most of their own songs. “We Got The Beat” was written by guitarist Charlotte Caffey, who drew inspiration from some Motown beats, specifically one that mentioned the name of her group. She explains, “I thought it would be very clever to do ‘Going to a Go Go’ (by the Miracles). I thought, Well, let’s try working this out as a cover song. Which is really funny when I think about it. I was listening to it a lot one day, and later that night, the song came to me within five minutes. I don’t even know if it has anything to do with listening to that song, but this whole idea came to me. It was one of those things that just went right through me and came out my hand; I wrote it down, recorded it a little bit, and then brought it into rehearsal a few days later.”

The Go-Go’s released an early version of “We Got The Beat” in the UK as their first single. It was issued on Stiff Records, which was home to The Specials and Madness, both groups The Go-Go’s toured with in England to promote it. Sadly, it flopped, but the group fared far better in America, where they were signed to IRS Records by Miles Copeland, who managed The Police. In the US, “Our Lips Are Sealed” was released as their first single in the summer of 1981, followed by a new version of “We Got The Beat” in January 1982. This release was The Go-Go’s biggest hit, spending three weeks at #2. (I’ll include both versions below)

Band Camp – Summer 1985. We Got the Beat was a favorite of my high school marching band. I have no idea how long they had been playing it prior to my first year, but it was always played at pep assemblies and when our team won. It was a staple in the marching band music folder. It was the one song that we could play and just have fun. We danced, we jumped, we acted the fool while playing it. It was a celebratory song.

Our band director would say, “Let’s do the little Italian number” during rehearsals. We all knew what he was talking about because he’d often call it, “We Gotta Da Beat.” I want to say our alumni band was around for at least 10 or 12 years after I graduated and they were still playing it. We always joined it because we all had it memorized. I haven’t played my trumpet in years, but I can assure you that if I were to pick it up today, I could still play this song!

We Got the Beat

Real life once again inspired another big hit. Songwriter Wayne Carson, who wrote The Box Tops’ 1967 #1 hit “The Letter,” came up with “Always On My Mind” when he was working at a recording studio in Memphis. He lived with his wife in Springfield, Missouri, and the trip to Memphis had gone 10 days longer than expected.

When he called the missus to tell her he would be there even longer, she let him have it. He tried to assuage her by telling her that was thinking about her all the time – she was “always on my mind.” “It just struck me like someone had hit me with a hammer,” he told the LA Times, “I told her real fast I had to hang up because I had to put that into a song.”

Willie had never heard the song before the song’s co-writer, Johnny Christopher, brought it to him and Merle Haggard, who were busy recording the album Pancho & Lefty (Christopher was playing guitar on the session). “‘Always On My Mind,’ bowled me over the moment I heard it, which is one of the ways I pick songs to record,” Nelson recalled in his 1988 autobiography, Willie. “There are beautifully sad songs that bowl me over… haunting melodies you can’t get out of your mind, with lines that really stick.”

Nelson figured he and Haggard would do the song together, but Haggard didn’t care for it. After they finished recording their album, Nelson stayed in the studio and recorded the ballad solo, just to see what it would sound like. Of course, it sounded like a hit, but Nelson wondered, “We’ll never know what would have happened if Merle had really heard the song right.”

You may remember that Willie Nelson played a big part in my childhood. His Stardust album was played all the time by my grandfather. My grandfather passed away in 1981. Any song by Willie reminded me of my grandpa. My mom really struggled with his passing and I remember being in the car with her when Always on My Mind came on the radio. She had to pull over because it really hit her hard.

It hit me the same way. I know that it is far fetched to believe that grandpa sent a message from beyond the grave, but it felt that way. From Stardust to Always on My Mind and every Willie album that followed, there always seemed to be one song that fit into something that was going on in my life. This one helped me cope with the first death I ever experienced, even though it was more of a love/apology song.

Always on My Mind

One of the things that I noticed as I scanned over the list of singles released in the early eighties was the prominent use of the synthesizer. Rock bands like ZZ Top, Van Halen, and Yes added synthesizers to their mix in the ’80s and scored huge hits by adapting what songfacts.com called “the sound of the decade.” The Steve Miller Band started out as a blues band in the ’60s, evolving into a rock outfit in the ’70s. They often sprinkled electronic effects into their songs, so the keyboards and synth stabs in this song weren’t out of character.

“Abracadabra” was the last US Top 40 hit for the Steve Miller Band, and their third #1. The song was written by Miller and the lyrics were inspired by Diana Ross and the Supremes, whom he had met while performing together on NBC’s Hullabaloo in 1966. “‘Abracadabra’ started off as a great piece of music with really atrocious lyrics,” Miller explained to The Dallas Morning News. “One day I was out skiing in Sun Valley and, lo and behold, who did I see on the mountain but Diana Ross. I skied down off the mountain to go have lunch. I started thinking about the Supremes and I wrote the lyrics to ‘Abracadabra’ in 15 minutes.”

Honestly, I’m really not sure how the Supremes led to the song, but I remember it being a song that really stood out to me on the radio. I rushed out to buy the 45 and it was always a song that wound up on my “driving music” tapes.

Abracadabra

1981 was the year that many were introduced to Men at Work. Their debut single, “Who Can It Be Now” shot straight to #1 on the charts. The group started as an acoustic duo with singer Colin Hay and guitarist Ron Strykert. After a few years playing pubs in Australia, they were discovered by an American who worked for CBS records and signed them.

Colin Hay wrote the song and explained how it came about:

“I was up in the bush in Southern New South Wales with my girlfriend, just sitting outside at night. We had this little tree hut in the middle of the bush. It was a great place to kill the time, mess around with ideas. It was just an idea that popped out, it took about half and hour to write that song. I was living in St. Kilda in Melbourne, which is a great part of Melbourne. At that particular time it was a very interesting area, it was frequented by everybody from the high Jewish population, punks, drug movers, all kinds of different people. It was about six or seven hours drive away, sitting in the middle of the bush in New South Wales and that song just popped out. My girlfriend at the time said, ‘that will be your first hit, that song,’ and she was right.”

Their Business as Usual album was one that I played often.

Fun Fact: The famous saxophone part originally didn’t come in until the middle of the song, which suited when the band played it in bars. When they recorded it, producer Peter McIan identified the sax as a hook and moved it to the beginning of the song, also making it more prominent throughout. This opening sax riff made the song instantly identifiable.

Who Can It Be Now

Juice Newton had a few big hits between Queen of Hearts and Love’s Been a Little Bit Hard On Me. The latter is one of those fun sounding songs, even though it is about the hardships of a relationship. The song was released exactly one week after my 12th birthday.

Juice reminds me of Carlene Carter who had some jumpy, fun songs like this one. Even though she channels Neil Sedaka and sings harmony with herself on the song, that’s one of the reasons I love it. It’s nothing fancy, but it is just good harmony and it blends so well.

One of the things I have enjoyed while picking songs for this year was seeing the videos that were made for certain songs. Wiki describes the music video for this one perfectly. It says that it comically plays off the emotional hurt of love by showing Juice Newton being physically injured by her lover in a series of accidents. The final shot is of Newton singing in the hospital in a full-body cast with her broken leg in the air. The video was awarded Video of the Year by the American Video Association in 1982.

Love’s Been a Little Bit Hard On Me

There is an outdoor amphitheater in the Detroit area that packs in some fantastic shows every summer. I cannot tell you how many shows I have seen at Pine Knob (For some time DTE Energy paid to have the name and even though shows were at “DTE Energy Music Theater,” everyone still called it Pine Knob!). I’ve seen rock shows, comedy shows, country shows, and more there.

For many years, Eddie Money was ALWAYS the guy who played the first show there. He kicked off the summer concert season annually and it became a tradition. One year, I had the opportunity to interview Eddie on the air. It was the easiest interview in the world! Why? You never had to ask questions after he got on the phone. “Hey, Eddie! How are you?” Then Eddie would roll – he’d promote the show, promote an album, share some funny story, talk about the venue, and more. The “Money Man” was great!

I dated in high school who loved Eddie Money’s Music. She had the No Control album on cassette and we’d listen to it in the car. Think I’m in Love was on that album and I remember the first time I saw the video on MTV. Again, these early videos are fun to watch. Eddie plays a sort of vampire character in it. It was a very popular video.

Think I’m In Love

Growing up I listened to Elvis, Bill Haley, Carl Perkins, Eddie Cochran and other artists who played some rockabilly music. So when I heard the Stray Cats in 1982, it was like hearing stuff I was already familiar with. The Built For Speed album was one I played over and over.

Brian Setzer was born in New York and was exposed to a lot of genres of music. He learned to play the guitar at a young age, and when he was a teen, he formed a trio he called the Tomcats, That group would later change their name to the Stray Cats. They were influenced by all those artists I just mentioned and their group developed a fairly large following in the underground punk scene of New York City during the late ’70s. Their fan base expanded so quickly that they found themselves being courted by no less than a half dozen record labels in 1980.

Brian Setzer opted to record and produce the Stray Cats’ debut album in the UK Rock This Town was released there over a year before it was released in the US. Rock This Town was a Top 10 hit for the band. It’s crazy to watch the video and see Brian. He looks like a baby in it. Hard to believe he was only 23 when this video was shot.

Rock This Town

My dad and my uncle used to play old blues music on records and on the guitar. At my graduation party, they played stuff from Jimmy Reed, Bo Diddley, and other blues legends. Because of that, I’ve always loved the blues. Because of that, I was naturally a fan of George Thorogood.

Bad to the Bone is based on the Bo Diddley blues song “I’m a Man.” Bo Diddley was one of George’s heroes. His “version” has a much heavier guitar sound, which replaces the harmonica in Diddley’s recording. Songfacts.com says that “both songs are full of swagger, with the singers exuding lots of testosterone.”

Songfacts.com goes on to say, “With MTV coming on the air in 1981, Thorogood picked a good time to release a memorable video. The clip shows Thorogood playing pool against Bo Diddley in a place where there is no chance of a dance sequence breaking out. Pool champion Willie Mosconi also appears in the clip, which introduced Thorogood – and to some extent, Diddley – to the younger MTV crowd. Among the British New Wave acts that dominated MTV’s playlist at the time, Thorogood certainly stood out, and he created an image of a bad man. While Thorogood is a disciple of the blues, he was raised in a Delaware suburb and by most accounts is actually a pretty nice guy, despite what he claims in this song.”

I love the fact that Diddley is in this video! The song is one that has a life of it’s own. It is used as intro music for wrestlers, it has been used during the removal of the bride’s garter at weddings, and has been used in both movies and television in seriousness and for comedic effect. It is a classic.

Bad to the Bone

I love a great intro. Sometimes a great guitar riff or a neat drum thing is all it takes to hook me. The intro to Everybody Wants You was one of those intros. It appeared as the opening track of his multi-Platinum 1982 album Emotions in Motion.

The song itself didn’t do that great on the Hot 100 chart, as it only went to number 32. However, it was around this time that one of the radio formats that was big was called AOR – Album Oriented Rock. It had great success on these and rock stations. It reached number one on Billboard’s Top Rock Tracks chart. Naturally, the video did well on MTV, too. It remained in heavy rotation for quite some time.

The minute I hear this one, I think back to those nights of shooting pool with my buddies. It was always on the jukebox.

Everybody Wants You

The next song is one that is still applicable today. Perhaps even more so. What exactly is “news” today? Turn on any local news channel or entertainment news show – it is chock full of stories like the ones referenced in Don Henley’s first Top 40 hit as a solo artist – Dirty Laundry.

Again, the intro of this really stood out for me. The lyrics take it to an entirely new level. They are so good and perhaps that is because Henley had plenty of real life to draw from. This song is about unscrupulous news people doing anything for a story. Henley values his privacy, and hates it when reporters pry into his personal life. He had to deal with increased press attention when his girlfriend at the time, Maren Jensen, came down with Epstein-Barr Syndrome. She recovered, but they broke up soon after.

Songfacts.com states: “Henley sings from the standpoint of a news anchorman who “could have been an actor, but I wound up here”. The song’s theme is that TV news coverage focuses too much on negative and sensationalist news; in particular, deaths, disasters, and scandals, with little regard to the consequences or for what is important (“We all know that crap is king”). The song was inspired by the intrusive press coverage surrounding the deaths of John Belushi and Natalie Wood. It was also inspired by Henley’s own arrest in 1980 when he was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor and possession of marijuana, cocaine, and Quaaludes after a 16-year-old girl overdosed at his Los Angeles home”

While Don’s version is the best, Lisa Marie Presley (who had to deal with a lot of press intrusions on her personal life) also does a really neat version of Dirty Laundry.

Dirty Laundry

There were plenty of great songs in 1982, I’m sorry if I missed one of your favorites. Next week, we’ll move ahead to 1983 where there will be a good mix of rock, country, pop, soul and a movie song that will forever be associated with summer vacations ….

See you then!

Happy 100th

Today would have been my grandma’s 100th birthday. She is someone that I truly miss a lot.

We’d go to her house every Sunday at noon for “dinner.” We’d listen to or watch the Tiger’s games during the summer. Every Christmas Eve we spent at her house. I’d always call her to ask her what we were having for dinner and put her on the radio. She was your typical stubborn Italian grandma. I’ve often said that she was a lot like Sophia on the Golden Girls.

As I scrolled through my Facebook memories today, past posts from her birthday were there with photos that bring back a ton of memories.

The above photo was taken at a graduation party. This is how I will forever remember my grandparents.

The “Skinny Keith” years. This was taken on one of those Christmas Eve’s after my grandfather had passed away. I know this because…

This is my mom, my grandma, and my great Aunt Rose waiting for me to sit back down to play one of MANY hands of Pinochle. I miss those games more than I can express. So much fun.

Obviously again, around Christmas. My brother must have come up from Ohio to stay for the holiday. I wish I had more pictures of all of us together.

From my first wedding, my grandma and my Godfather (Uncle Tom) dancing. I love this picture and miss them both!

I shared a dance with my grandma to “Lazy Mary” by Lou Monte at this wedding. I was so glad to have that dance. She had a bike horn that day and was honking it throughout the first part of the night. It was beyond annoying, but I guess it was her way to celebrate. When I asked my dad to get the horn away from her, she wasn’t too happy. She danced with me anyway!

You can’t see them, but she is actually wearing bright pink slippers in this picture! She was one of a kind.

She lived long enough to meet her first great grandchild, but I wish she was around to see the others! I would love one more chat with her. I wish I could sit down to another ravioli dinner or play another couple games of pinochle.

I miss her daily, but the memories of her make me smile. Happy 100th, Grandma!

Friday Photo Flashback

I posted this week about our little getaway to my father-in-law’s cabin. As I mentioned, there were many things about that trip that reminded me of our trips to Caseville when I was a kid. Coincidentally, I stumbled on a picture I had not seen in some time from one of those trips. As a matter of fact, it may be from one of the last ones we took up there.

In 1981, my grandfather passed away after having a heart attack while he was on a business trip. I don’t recall how long we kept the place after he passed, but it had to be a few years later. He really loved that place and so did our family. I know it never felt the same for me after he had passed away, so I can only imagine what it felt like for my mom, my aunts, and my grandmother.

If I had to guess, my dad is probably the one who took this picture, of course, it could be my Aunt Jodi, I’m not sure. The Ford Aerostar on the left was my folks. When I moved away, my dad let me take it because it was more reliable than my crappy van. The van on the right has to be my Aunt Linda’s, I vaguely remember them having a van. Directly in front of the van is our trailer.

I was just having a conversation with a coworker about our place in Caseville and I had mentioned that there was very little grass when we were there. There was plenty of sand, however. When Sam and I went up a few years ago, I was surprised that all the places had lush green lawns! You can see the patchy grass and sand in this picture.

Speaking of sand, behind us is the red shed that always seemed to have 10 bee hives in it. We’d always dodge the bees when we went in to get out the minibike we’d ride around the neighborhood in. All the roads were dirt at the time and at the end of our street was a wooded area with trees and trails – with sand. I remember how I’d always seem to get stuck in the sand back there when I rode it.

When I look at this photo I remember fondly some very special people. The lady on the left lived across the street from our place. They lived there all year. Her husband used to stock the lake behind our place and we loved fishing back there.

Next to her is my mom. This is the way I like to remember her, when she was healthy and cancer free. She looks so good here. I chuckle at the fact that she is wearing a hat, and wish I knew what it said.

Next to my mom, in front, is my cousin Melissa and behind her is my cousin Arin. I always loved when everyone got together at the trailer. We used to pull out all of the toys and stuff that my Aunt Jodi had up there and trash her room. She had this thing called Fashion Plates where you put the plates together and shaded a piece of paper over them and I seem to remember my cousins always playing with that.

It has been too long since I’ve seen my cousins. Melissa lives out of the country and Arin is about an hour or so South of me, so it is difficult for us to get together. I really miss being with them.

Next to my cousins is my grandmother, my mom’s mom. I have great memories of going to the Belle Isle Aquarium and Greenfield Village with her. I was a teenager when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I didn’t want to see her sick, so I avoided going to a lot of family functions. It remains one of my biggest regrets. I miss her so much.

Behind my grandma is my brother, who has written a few guest blogs for me, and was the fourth and final member of the “Let’s Break Aunt Jodi’s Stuff Club!” He suffered through the 2 hour drive to Caseville with me as we listened to ballad after ballad (and mom’s singing) on the infamous red 8 track tape. We have so many great memories together there.

Next to grandma and in front of my brother and me, is my Aunt Linda (Arin and Melissa’s mom). Before she moved out of state, she and my uncle would host a summer family party. I loved those parties so much. It was always great to see those relatives from my mom’s side of the family who we didn’t get to see too often. My uncle would put on his captain hat and take folks for a spin around the lake on his boat. The older folks would be drinking home made Italian wine and playing bocce ball.

My aunt has been a wonderful support for me. We’ve talked bible and prayed together. She offered advice through my divorce and attended my college graduation. She continues to be someone who I can talk to about anything and she will be completely honest with me. I am so blessed to still have her in my life.

The first thing I notice about me is my huge hair, cheesy mustache and big glasses. Ah, the 80’s!

In front of my grandma is my Aunt’s dog. It was such a sweet dog. I am sure someone will correct me if I am wrong, but I thought they called it Cocoa. Over by the van is my grandma’s dog, Mindy. Mindy was around for as long as I can remember. After seeing the way our dog ran around at my father-in-law’s this past weekend, it is amazing to see these two dogs just laying around! LOL

This photo instantly brings back memories of our summer Caseville trips for me. It stirs up sadness as I think of my mom and grandma. It brings smiles as I remember how lucky I was to have shared some wonderful times with my cousins and family. I am so glad someone decided to take this photo.

Friday Photo Flashback

This week, I began a new feature called The Music of My Life and began featuring music from every year of my life. I began in 1970, and I thought I would stay in 1970 for the Friday Photo Flashback. As a bonus, because I couldn’t decide on one picture, you get two!

The above photo was taken shortly after I came home from the hospital. It is one of my favorite photos of my dad and me. There really isn’t a whole lot happening in the background, but there are some things that really stick out to me.

First, I was a pretty good looking kid! Next, my dad, for as long as I can remember always had a mustache. The fact that he doesn’t have one in this picture makes it a bit more special to me. Then, there are his sideburns. It seems like he always seemed to have those, but they are a bit more prominent here. Dad is also wearing a white t-shirt in this picture. It seems like he would wear those often when he was just walking or working around the house. Finally, we both have hair in this photo! LOL

The above photo is a bit after the one with my dad. I love my mom’s smile in this picture! Despite my brother and I making fun of her about them in later years, I love that she’s wearing the horn-rimmed glasses.

This photo was taken at my grandma’s house. So it makes it a nostalgic trip to remember the lay out of her house. It seems like my grandma had that yellow couch forever! There was a green chair made of the same scratchy fabric that went with it. It is no surprise to see the paneling on the wall behind it. If I could stretch the right side of the picture a bit more, directly above the couch was grandma’s cuckoo clock.

On the left side of the picture is a napkin holder that I vaguely remember her having. Later on, they just used paper towels that they stacked in a Tupperware sort of container. Directly behind my mom was grandma’s fridge, which always had a big block of parmesan cheese that she would grate fresh for spaghetti dinners. The freezer was on top and I remember they’d have Wonder Bread in thick plastic bags in there. I wish I knew what that thing is above the freezer next to that vase. It looks like fake flowers, but I don’t know.

Behind me is the stove, which produced some of the most amazing meals I’ve ever eaten! It looks like there was an analog clock on it to the right. I can see one of grandma’s percolators on the stove, as well as the infamous casserole dish that everyone had in the 70’s! In the middle of the stove top, I can see the glass salt and pepper shakers that my grandma used all her life. They are just like the ones you used to see in restaurants before they were replaced by those plastic ones.

There is actually a space between the stove and that counter top behind me. If I were to stretch that side of the photo to the left, the sink would be against the wall and another cupboard would be on the left side of a window that was above the sink. This was the spot where my father was aggravating my grandma one day and she went to kick him in his behind, but he moved. She fell and he stood there laughing. It was probably not funny for her at the time, but she certainly laughed about it whenever she retold the story.

There was a time when grandma always had a table cloth on the table, but as we got older, she stopped. I’m guessing it is because we stained them with food or drink. She eventually just had placemats. For whatever reason, I remember that there was a wooden bowl in the middle of the table that had fake wax fruit in it. My brother and I always seemed to pluck the plastic grapes off the plastic vines.

I have so many wonderful memories of that house, my grandparents, my mom, and my dad. I am glad to have so many photos to remind me of those days…..

Mother’s Day Recap

This was the first Mother’s Day since becoming a mom that Sam had the day off. I was so glad that she was able to take the day and spend it with us. She worked the night before and on the way home, she called and told me to make sure the kids were dressed. We were heading out somewhere when she got home.

I hurried and got the kids dressed, got myself dressed and was ready when she got home. She came in and changed clothes before we left, so I just assumed we were all going to go out to breakfast. Instead, she drove to the cemetery where my mom is buried. She told me she wasn’t going to let Mother’s Day go by without taking me there.

The innocence of my kids always chokes me up. As we walked up, Sam said, “We have to see grandma on Mother’s Day. She was daddy’s mommy.” When we got to her headstone, Andrew said, “I can’t see grandma.” That was the first choke up. Then Ella had found what she called a “heart shaped rock” and wanted to put it on her headstone. “I want grandma to have it.” Choke up number two. In the car, on the way out, Andrew starts to get upset. Sam asked why and he said, “Grandma can’t hold me.” Choke up number three.

When we got home, Sam got to see the gifts that the kids got for her.

They each drew her a picture/card and we placed a paint handprint inside. We bought her some hair stuff (hair ties, clips, a mirror, and stuff she uses to get ready). The kids also picked out a beautiful dozen roses for her. Finally, we made sure she got a delicious cake!

When our Head Start friend came over, we made feet flowers for her with her favorite colors.

After we opened her presents, she got to laid down and nap since she worked the night before. Then the kids and I went outside and we detailed her car.

We debated doing a BBQ for dinner, but she said she was really craving some Chinese food, so that’s what we got! By 7pm, the entire family was just exhausted and we were all in bed and asleep by 8! LOL

I am so happy that we got to celebrate her for mother’s day!! She is so special to all of us!

Friday Photo Flashback

As my birthday approaches this coming week, I thought it would be fun to look at a birthday from the past. These photos will take you back 46 years to my 8th birthday.

The first thing I notice about this photo is the fact that my folks didn’t develop the film for over a year!! I find that hilarious.

The little dude in the awful brown and yellow outfit cutting the cake is yours truly. Look at that mop of hair!! This was probably one of the last birthdays I was sort of skinny.

The lady in red is my beautiful mom who made my birthday cake. At 8 years old, I’m sure I didn’t ask for a train cake, it was probably one of the cake pans she had already in the house. Just looking at this picture makes me miss her even more.

I cannot be sure, but I am guessing that my aunt is to my mom’s left. It looks like she is sitting on one of these green bar chairs we had. My brother is to my right with a party staple – Towne Club pop!

As I tend to do, I want to see the stuff in the background, but so often the photos are blurry. There are some things of interest here, however. I do not for the life of me remember the olive green corded phone on the wall. I do remember my mom and dad sticking notes with numbers and such above it. It looks like there might be a couple index cards there.

Directly behind my mom, up against the wall, I can make out what is probably a macramé plant holder. If memory serves me right, there were sea shells woven into the plant hanger itself. My mom hand plenty of plants in the house and at one point I had made her a plant hanger at summer camp.

I have to laugh at the classic Mr. Coffee Coffee Pot on the counter. I think every family member had one of those except my grandma who only used a percolator for coffee. It looks like my folks have stacked up stuff on the counter, which was a constant. I remember my dad moving stuff off the coffee pot whenever he had to make coffee.

I really tried to make out what looks like a bookcase, or maybe part of the stereo in the room behind my mom. It looks like it may have photo albums on there, but I can’t be sure. That was usually the spot where the TV was, but it could have been in a different spot at this time.

I had originally only wanted to post the one photo, however, after looking at another one taken the same day, I had to share for one reason – the ugly wallpaper! Get a load of that terrible pattern!

I like this picture a lot more than the other, because I have a cheesy grin and it screams 1970’s! For example, the paneling up half the wall. Paneling seemed to be in every house back then! Then, of course, the Polaroid cameras that every had back then. I’m surprised that these pictures were not taken with one!

If you look at the middle of the table, you will just be able to see a bit of one of mom’s plants. It may have been what she called spider plants. She used to have pieces of those plants in jars, vases, and pots all over the place! And just above my head is the bottom “tail” of one of the many plant hangers mom had.

The weird thing about these photos is that I can tell you without seeing them, who was there to celebrate with us. Both sets of grandparents, my aunt, and my folks. It was never really a big deal, but I loved those little birthday parties.

Oh, to go back 46 years just to see those folks who are no longer here ….

Spring Rerun – For Mom’s 76th

Many readers of this blog have only been reading it for a couple years. One of the first blogs I wrote was back in 2018 in honor of my mom’s 70th birthday. I thought I would revisit and update it a bit. I have mentioned her a few times in blogs, but this blog will really give you an idea of just how much she meant to me.

April 4, 1948. 76 years ago today, one of the most heroic, strongest, and special people was born. She wasn’t an actress in television or movies, and was far from famous. As a matter of fact, unless you know me personally, you probably have no idea who she is. That is the reason for this blog. Today, I want to introduce you to my mother. This blog will serve a few purposes: First, I want to, in a very simple way, pay tribute to the first woman who I ever loved with all my heart. Second, I hope that those reading take away a small lesson from it. Lastly, writing my feelings out has been very therapeutic and helps me personally be a better person.

The bond between a mother and a son is as special as that of a daughter and a dad. It wasn’t until I became a father that I really truly realized just what my parents felt when they held me for the first time. Sure, I have seen hundreds of pictures of my mom and dad holding my brother and I. In each of those pictures, they wear smiles as big as Texas! Once you become a parent you know that the smile, no matter how big it is, doesn’t even begin to express the joy that you feel within you!

My mother and father met because she saw his name in the paper. My dad was in Vietnam fighting in the war, and my mom wrote him a letter. They were both from the same city and they corresponded until he came home. Neither mom or dad told me us much about the letters, but they obviously liked each other because they ended up getting married.

You always knew where mom was. My mother was loud. She was Ethel Merman loud! Remember the first play you were in, and the teacher or director said that you needed to talk to the wall in the back of the room so people could hear you? That’s kind of the way my mom talked normally. And boy, could she talk! She spent countless hours on the phone talking to friends and family (I guess this is one thing I inherited from her, because I am the same way). My house was the one you would call and always get a busy signal (this was back in the days of corded phones and there was no call waiting, kids). There was never a doubt when it was time to come home – mom would simple open the door and yell, “Keith Allan” and even if I was four streets away, I could hear her!

She laughed just as loud. She enjoyed life and it showed. Her boisterous laugh could shatter glass, and she didn’t care. I remember watching Bill Cosby, Himself on HBO with her. She laughed so hard. She could be everyone’s friend, but don’t cross her, because if you did, you would certainly regret it. She could be incredibly loving and at the same time, when crossed, be terribly angry.

While she was usually loud, I do want to interject that there were plenty of times where my mom spoke to me in a normal or soft voice. Those talks were usually because I came to her with an issue and she gave me support or advice. Sometimes, she spoke softly to me when I was sick, in pain, or upset. The fact that she could speak to me in this way, made what she was saying even more meaningful.

Back in the day, we didn’t have cell phones to take pictures or movies. My dad had an 8mm movie camera and he had many films that he had taken of my grandparents and family, and eventually, he took movies of me as a baby. While I don’t remember these events personally, I can watch them and be a part of the memories caught on film. One of the movies I remember the most is my mom guiding me down the hallway in our house on Brandywine on various vehicles. It’s actually silly to think about, because it was almost like I was a model showing off different outfits, except there were no outfits, they were toys. There was mom smiling and pushing me down the hall on a tricycle, then a big wheel, some other contraption, and finally this metal fire truck. Man, I remember that fire truck! I am glad that there are pictures floating around of it still. I wish I still had it!

Mom was a night owl. She would stay up late and watch old movies on TV until 5am and then finally go to sleep. On Saturday nights on Channel 20, she would watch these ridiculous Kung Fu movies. I remember one day walking in and wondering why the hell the people’s mouths were not matching up to the words being said. She laughed and told me that they were speaking another language and I immediately said, “but I can understand them”, which made her laugh more. Because she was such a late sleeper, I remember many mornings when my brother and I would go in and jump on the bed to annoy her. It’s funny the things you remember from when you were a kid – not sure why, but I have never forgotten a set of sheets that had stripes on them or the gold comforter that used to be on the top of my parents bed.

Mom (along with dad) was certainly my biggest supporter. I remember her being in the audience when I was the lead role in the school play. I was a snowman. I had to sing. She helped create my costume. It was basically a white stretchy thing with pillows around my chest and belly to make me look like a snowman. My grandma and my aunt were there that night, too. She was smiling so big when she came back afterward. I remember her telling me how good I sang. It was such a boost. I will always remember that. On the other side of the coin, she held me and told me everything was ok when I my car lost the Pinewood Derby.

While mom was a good disciplinary, there were times that my brother and I often had to wait for the “higher authority”. “Wait until your father gets home…” were words we did not want to hear. I’m not sure who spanked harder, to be honest, because they could both leave a nice handprint on our behinds if we deserved it.

Like any child, as you get older, you think that you know it all and think your parents are overprotective. You feel as though they are doing everything in their power to make your life miserable. When you are an adult, you look back and realize that they always had your safety and best interests in mind. Mom and I did go through a period where we did not get along. My dad and I were obviously a lot closer during this time. It wasn’t until I was 20, that my relationship with mom grew stronger than ever.

In early 1991, I was single and had the opportunity to move away to do radio full time. I would be four hours away from home, and at the time I was ok with that. It was during this time that mom started to call on a regular basis to check up on me. She sent me “just because” cards and letters. Her letters and cards helped me, a guy who thought he’d be ok away from friends and family, feel so much better. I could not get to the mailbox faster each day, in hopes that I would find a note from home.

In 1995, I was just doing radio part time, and was working in the Mailroom at EDS. I was told by a co-worker that I had a phone call. When I picked up the phone it was mom. She did not sound right. I asked her what was up, because she never called me at work. She told me that she had just got back from the doctor and told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I remember feeling like I had been punched in the stomach. I sat staring off into space for what seemed like eternity until she said, “It’s going to be alright and we are discussing treatment options.” I could not fathom what I was hearing. As I hung up, my boss asked if everything was ok, and I told him about the call. He immediately sent me home, saying that was where I needed to be.

Breast Cancer. I hated that disease. It had already taken the life of my grandmother, and now it was threatening to do the same to my mother. She was a fighter and I knew if anyone could beat it, she would. There were many times I sat back and wondered if she was going to be around for future things in my life. There were times when she would go into remission and we would celebrate, and then there were times we heard of the return of the cancer. There were many ups and downs and she was strong through them all.

She had a lot of help from her friends during this time. Diane was like a long lost sister. They were like Thelma and Louise, Lucy and Ethel, and Laverne and Shirley. They would hang out together somewhere, come home and get on the phone and talk for hours. There was such a love between the two of them. She was such an amazing support for her. Recently, Diane also lost a battle with cancer. I envisioned mom waiting at the pearly gates to great her and the conversation picked up where it left off.

There were only two times in the 10+ years that she battled the disease where she thought of giving up. The first time was about a year and a half before my oldest son was born. Mom was not a grandma yet, and when she found out that her first grand baby was on the way, she gained a new strength that I had never seen. She was not going to NOT be here to hold her grandbaby. A surge of determination and strength came to my mom. It was amazing.

She was the one who slept (very uncomfortably) in a chair in the hospital waiting room as my oldest son was being born. She, along with my ex-mother-in-law, were the first to see him. They saw me wheeling him with a nurse down to the nursery. I don’t think I ever saw her happier. It was magical. I saw a whole new sense of love in her. My God, she loved him more than anything.

In the four short years she spent with my son, she spoiled him rotten. When we found out that he was developmentally delayed, she spoiled him even more. He made her smile as much as she made him smile. The mutual love they had for each other still brings tears to my eyes. After therapy sessions, I would take my son out for breakfast and we would call her on the phone. It was always a wonderful thing to witness. She would always tell me to make sure to call when we were at breakfast. I can still hear my boy telling grandma about Thomas the Train or Elmo.

She knew he loved Thomas the Train. Towards the end of her battle with cancer, she bought tickets for us to go to see Thomas and ride the train. She was so sick by this time, but she was not about to miss out on this day. She was moving slow, she had a walker and her wheelchair, and I was worried she wouldn’t be able to get up on the train. What was I worried about? When it came time, she stood and walked up there to sit next to her grandbaby. There is one picture of her on the train with him that remains one of my all time favorites. You would never know that she was sick.

The only other time I saw her give up during her battle with cancer, and that was when they told her there was nothing more they could do. There was really no further treatment and now it was all about making her comfortable. She knew at that point that she fought a good fight, but the cancer was going to prevail. At this point, it was time to start saying goodbyes.

Toward the end, there was one day when we were all together in the living room. Mom was in her hospital bed, and we all sat around telling stories. My brother, my aunt, my dad, and I laughed, cried, and all heard things we’d never heard before. It remains one of those days that I will remember forever. At one point, she said she was tired and everyone left the room. I asked if I could have a minute with her and we got to share some very special conversation. As my son left the room, she shed a tear and said to me, “That one is going to hard to leave behind”. It is a memory that is etched forever in my mind.

I was out at a restaurant when the call came from my dad. “I think you should come home. We’re close.” Just a day before I had spoke with mom on the phone, and she seemed a bit out of it, but ok, so I was surprised at dad’s call. The minute I walked into the living room when I got there, I knew just how close we were. We all took turns sitting next to her and talking to her. She was not able to speak any more.

At one point, I could see that we were all exhausted. I told my dad that I would stay up with her if he wanted to rest. During the time I was with her, I held her hand, spoke with her, told her how much I loved her and how much I was going to miss her. I reminded her of some Bible verses we had talked about in the past. I wiped tears from her eyes with a tissue and prayed with her. Throughout that time, her breathing was mostly shallow. At one point she took a bit of a bigger breath, and it returned to short breaths. Then, at 5:24am on October 25, 2006, she took a long, deep breath, and she passed away still holding my hand. I will never forget sitting there waiting for the next breath that never came. I looked at my phone to see the time and woke everyone.

One year later, while looking for something in my dad’s basement, my brother found a bunch of envelopes. One was addressed to him, one to me, one to my dad, etc… What an amazing thing it was to read a message from my mom long after she passed away. The sad thing was that the notes were written before my son was born, so she doesn’t mention him in it. “Know that I love you” was the first thing she said to me. There was never a doubt, mom. Never a doubt.

There was a reason I picked the song “Hero” to dance with my mother to at my wedding. She showed strength that I could never know as she battled that damn cancer. She fought like no one I had ever seen. She pushed and kept pushing. She said she was going to “kick this cancer’s ass”! She hated it with a passion and she was bound and determined to win! She was truly my hero. I was so amazed at her fight against it.

Now, almost 18 years later, the pain of her passing remains. She lives on in many memories. There are so many things I wish she had been around to see. I wish that she was around to see and spoil her second and third grandsons and her first granddaughter. We named our daughter Ella after her (and Sam’s mom, who both share the same name). I think of the amount of love that she gave to my first son and can’t even begin to imagine the love that she would have for the rest of my children! She was born to be an amazing grandma – time just wouldn’t let it happen.

When I originally wrote this blog, I had yet to know that Sam and I would be married. I know without a doubt that she would have loved Sam! She would have loved to see me so happy. I am sure that she would find ways to spend time with us, spend the night, babysit and just be with our family. That was how she was. Sam saved my life, and my mother would be extremely thankful for that. I know that if she were around they would be shopping together, finding the right outfits and toys for the kids and just hanging out watching Grey’s Anatomy or something. Sigh – How I wish she could be here!

I wish that she were around to know some of the people who have played such an important part of my life over the last 15 years. There are people who have come into my life since she passed away that she would have loved. I am sure that there would be things she’d have opinions about, there would be things that would make her angry, and there would be things that would still make her laugh. She would have been there for council, as she had always been in the past. I only wish that I had done more with our time together.

The lesson I hope someone takes away from this blog is one that I have stated in the past: Make every moment count. Answer the phone calls from mom, one day those phone calls are going to stop. Make time to listen to the same story mom has told you a hundred times, one day you will long to hear it again. Never stop telling your parents you love them, one day they will not be around to hear it. Never stop hugging your mom or dad, one day you will miss the comfort you found in them. Everyone is put in your life for a reason. Some may be there to guide you. Some may be there to teach you a lesson. Some may be there to love you. My mom was in my life to do all of those things.

The sad realization is that time is a funny thing. You never know how much you have. There is never a guarantee of tomorrow. Hell, there is never a guarantee of the next hour or minute! Use that time wisely, because it is too precious to waste. Again, that old saying from the band room grease board holds true, “Live every day as if it were your last – some day you’ll be right”. In the same way, you never really know when you are going to be talking to or seeing someone for the last time. Make that time count.

I would give anything to tell mom Happy 76th Birthday to mom face to face today. I know if I did, I would probably have some crack about her being old and call her Old Grey Haired Sally or something, and she would smack me and laugh. I would welcome that today. She is missed by so many, and my heart will forever ache that she is not here today. She lives on in memories. Those memories still bring tears, but also smiles, because they are memories of her. I have written this blog holding back tears. There are so many more memories I could share, but I will end for now.

Happy Birthday, Mom. Thank you for all you did for me while you were here….and all you continue to do for me in your absence. As I said at your funeral, “See you later”.

Young Fear

My son gets a weekly visit from Head Start. She brings over projects for them to do and works with him on fine motor skills, coloring, cutting, and such. He and my daughter love this visit.

My wife was talking to the Head Start lady as she was getting ready to leave. I didn’t hear the beginning of the story, but it was about a kid whose mother was shopping and had no idea that the child wasn’t with her. “How do you not know your child is not with you?” was one of the questions that was asked.

I was immediately taken back to a day that I barely remember. I remember certain things about it, and I probably should have called my dad to get a clearer version of the story before I write this. For now, here is my side.

This would have been in the early 70’s. There were no cell phones. We were told not to go with strangers, but times were a lot different than they are today. We could go out when we got up and stay out until dark without checking in and our folks never gave it a second thought.

I remember my family went to the mall. My mom went off with my brother who may have only been 2 or 3 at the time. I was probably about 5 or 6. I had yet to get glasses, so my eyesight was not the greatest. I remember I was standing in whatever store my dad and I were in (probably Kresge) and we had walked down the toy aisle. I was looking at some sort of car or truck and dad was ready to move on. “Time to put that down, Keith. Let’s go find your mom.” “I’ll be right there,” was my reply.

I do not know how long afterward I stood there looking at the other toys on the shelf, but it couldn’t have been that long. I remember when I finally did look up, I couldn’t find my dad. I remember standing there and feeling like everything around me was a blur. I didn’t see which way he went. I just stood there. I am sure I began crying.

I remember a man asking me something. I was so scared I don’t really know what he said. I don’t remember if he took me to a store employee, if they made an announcement over the PA, from this point it is pretty much a blur. Long story short – my dad and I were reunited.

I don’t recall him yelling at me or lecturing me, but I am sure he did. I only remember the next part because of how unusual it was. We rarely (except for holidays) went to my grandparents house at night. That night, however, we went there and my dad told them what happened.

I remember sitting at the head of the dining room table with the chandelier above it turned on. I remember the heads and faces of my parents and grandparents telling me how dangerous a situation it was. I remember hearing how lucky I was that someone didn’t snatch me away. I was told how worried they were when they couldn’t find me.

Because it was dark out and I was at the kitchen table, I felt like I was in a film noir interrogation room!

As a parent, I completely understand what my parents must have experienced that night. My kids are SO fast when they are out and about. They can be gone in a flash. In a split second, I can lose sight of them. It is a parent’s worst nightmare.

I pray that I never EVER have to go through what my dad and mom did with me. I suppose this same kind of situation is what led to someone creating the “leash backpacks” for kids.

I’ve been scared many times in my life, but even though I was very young, I can still remember the terror I felt that day!

Book Recommendation – One Italian Summer – Rebecca Serle

Let me say right up front that this book is not one that I would have normally picked up to read. I tend to stick with mysteries, true crime, biographies, and historical fiction and non-fiction. There were two reasons that I decided to add this to my “to read” list. First, it was set in Italy – more on that in just a minute. Second, it was about a woman who had lost her mother.

I’m a member of Goodreads and I often check out their suggestions and look at what my friends are reading as well. This book came up more than once and I read a bit about it before adding it to my list.

Here is the Goodreads synopsis:

When Katy’s mother dies, she is left reeling. Carol wasn’t just Katy’s mom, but her best friend and first phone call. She had all the answers and now, when Katy needs her the most, she is gone. To make matters worse, their planned mother-daughter trip of a lifetime looms: two weeks in Positano, the magical town Carol spent the summer right before she met Katy’s father. Katy has been waiting years for Carol to take her, and now she is faced with embarking on the adventure alone.

But as soon as she steps foot on the Amalfi Coast, Katy begins to feel her mother’s spirit. Buoyed by the stunning waters, beautiful cliffsides, delightful residents, and, of course, delectable food, Katy feels herself coming back to life.

And then Carol appears—in the flesh, healthy, sun-tanned, and thirty years old. Katy doesn’t understand what is happening, or how—all she can focus on is that she has somehow, impossibly, gotten her mother back. Over the course of one Italian summer, Katy gets to know Carol, not as her mother, but as the young woman before her. She is not exactly who Katy imagined she might be, however, and soon Katy must reconcile the mother who knew everything with the young woman who does not yet have a clue.

This was the selling point for me. My mother passed away in 2006.

So many things have transpired since then. I could always count on her to listen to me when I needed to talk. When someone you love passes away, you begin to live life always asking the “What if” questions.

For one brief moment, I put myself in the place of the main character of the story (Katy). What would it be like to run into my mother – and see her at such a young age? I had to read this story to see just how it all played out.

At one point in the story, Katy says this about her mother, “She made me in her image, but she forgot the most important part. She forgot that one day she’d leave, that she already had, and then I’d be left with nothing. When you’re just a reflection, what happens when the image vanishes?” Powerful thought.

I was completely unfamiliar with the town of Positano, where the book takes place. A brief Google search led me to some very beautiful and amazing photos.

I cannot even imagine just how beautiful this place is in person.

I was worried that this book might be one of those “romance” novels. Thankfully, it was not. It was a decent story and I felt that it had a decent conclusion. It was not a difficult read, and the author does an amazing job describing some of the sights of Italy.

As I read the book, there were little nuggets that one could sock away in a book of “life quotes.”

For example:

“There is more to life than just continuing to do what we know. What got you here won’t get you there.”

“Every day the world is born again. Every day the sun rises. It is a miracle, I think. A simple, everyday miracle. Life.”

“History, memory is by definition fiction. Once an event is no longer present, but remembered, it is narrative. And we can choose the narratives we tell—about our own lives, our own stories, our own relationships. We can choose the chapters we give meaning.”

“Nature has so much power if we just pay attention.”

“One of life’s most important challenges is determining what to hold on to and what to let go of. Do not be fooled into believing that you do not know which is which. Follow the feeling, follow it all the way home.”

All in all, I enjoyed this book. I’m not sure I would have read it, had I not read the synopsis and felt a bit of a connection to it. However, it was a good read and you might find it worth reading, too.

Friday Photo Flashback

This week marked the 29th anniversary of the passing of my grandfather. In 2018, I wrote a blog about him on his birthday. You can read it here:

Happy Birthday, Pops.

My dad sent a photo to me and my brother this week of my Great Grandma (Grandpa’s mom) that I’d never seen before. That got me to thinking about the last time I saw my Great Grandma. It was at my high school graduation party where today’s photo was taken.

This is a truly amazing photo, as it marked one of the few times all of these family members were together.

In the front row from left to right – me, my Great Grandma, and my brother (sporting the pink Miami Vice jacket). In the back row from left to right – Grandpa P, his sister Marietta, Grandma D, Mom, Dad, Grandma P, and my Great Aunt Rose.

This photo was probably taken close to the end of the part, as my dad and grandpa have their suit jackets off. My grandpa came wearing what we called his Century 21 coat. For those who don’t remember, the real estate agents from century 21 used to always wear these gold colored jackets.

Here is a story about my Great Grandma that still makes me laugh. We used to call her “Light Finger Louie” because she had a very bad habit of swiping things from people and then giving then to my Grandpa. They weren’t necessarily big or expensive things (most of the time), but there were watches, Zippo lighters, cuff links, and such that would miraculously appear in my grandfather’s hands (or pockets) as he was leaving his visits from Great Grandma!

I think the saddest thing about finding old photos like these is the realization that those people are no longer with us physically. The only ones still around in that photo are my brother, my dad, and me.

I get ribbed a lot about all the photos I take of the kids. This week on Facebook, when I posted about my grandpa, I stated that the reason I take so many pictures is “because one day those pictures, and the memories from them, are all we have left.”