Tag: My wife is what matters

8 Amazing Years (And More to Come)

Today my wife, Samantha, and I celebrate our eight wedding anniversary. I missed a perfect gift opportunity. I didn’t realize that the eight wedding anniversary is the “Bronze Anniversary.” Had I known that, I would have gotten my wife an extended tanning membership, so she could get a nice “bronze” tan.

Apparently, the eight-year wedding anniversary represents “a strong, lasting, and mature bond, often symbolized by bronze, reflecting durability and the merging of two lives into one—like copper and tin. It’s a time to celebrate growing together, highlighting resilience and enduring love with themes of comfort, connection, and ‘still going strong.'”

I also made the mistake of not taking the day off work. At my job, they ask for time off months in advance and you have to have the amount of time you are taking off in your “bank.” If you don’t, the request is denied. It is not that I didn’t remember our anniversary was today, it is that after I took time my week off in February, I hadn’t had enough time in the bank. Of course, I should have remembered that in a pay period or two, I would have. So I feel really bad that I have to work tonight.

Sam’s Thursdays are loaded with volunteering at our daughter’s school and appointments. Because I am working tonight, she knew I’d be sleeping through the day and that we probably wouldn’t see each other today. So when I got up for work yesterday, she had my card waiting on the coffee pot for me. Once we both had coffee in hand, we gave each other out cards. What made these cards extra special was that our daughter decided that she needed to read them to us. My son passed us out gifts to each other.

Sam never gets a second to herself. She very rarely gets to pamper herself. I gave her a gift certificate for a manicure and pedicure. Being the wonderful mom that she is, she even offered to use it to get both her and my daughter pedicures.

You may remember awhile back that I mentioned that hair care place for men where my son got his hair cut. While we were there, I had my head shaved and it was pretty awesome. It was the whole treatment – hot towel, manly smelling lotion after the shave, complimentary drinks (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic), and more. They do everything there – eyebrow trim or wax, beard trimming and shaping, and (something I don’t need) haircuts and styles. My wife got me a gift certificate to go and treat myself to a “spa”-like day.

Reflecting on eight years of marriage, I can tell you that marriage isn’t easy, but it is something that is worth fighting for and working at. My wife is the main cog in the wheels of our house. Nothing can happen and happen properly without her. She keeps track of all of the schedules – who has to be where and when; what day is flannel or pajama day at school; where various prescriptions are and when they can be picked up; when the cars need oil changes and just about every other thing. Without her, we’d be a mess. It isn’t always easy, but we get through it together.

Communication is key. Thankfully, since my ADHD meds have helped me focus, I’m better at this. I’m not perfect and at times, I still mishear things and drive my wife crazy. Lord knows how often she wants to pull her hair out when I ask her something that she made clear to me the day before. I continue to work on active listening and retaining the things I am being told. Occasionally, though, I honestly drive her nuts.

I never stop praying for her.. I always have her in prayer. I pray that I will be exactly what she needs me to be. I pray to not be selfish. I pray that we would continue to grow in faith and that we are good examples for our kids. It is so important not to take God out of the equation. Marriage takes three for sure.

It has been eight years of ups and downs with happiness and sadness. Looking back, only makes me love her more.

Those pre-marriage dates and moments together bring many smiles.

The trip to Florida to get married and anniversary and other trips were full of laughs, adventures, and penguins.

We’ve also had plenty of doctor visits …

Special life changing moments …

…and a whole lot of fun along the way!

Thank you for eight amazing years, baby. I love you for ever and ever. As they say, “8 years down – forever to go!”

Happy Anniversary!

Mixed Emotions

If I had to describe today with emoji’s, I’d need a lot of them!

Exhaustion – Tuesdays are always difficult. I get very little sleep before having to come into work for the night. I do the best I can to nap when the kids are napping, but things just never seems to line up where we all sleep at the same time.

Confident – Recently I was presented with an opportunity that peaked my interest. It was one of those things that I really wasn’t searching for, but I looked at it very carefully. After much discussion and weighing all the pros and cons, I made a decision that I feel is best.

Afraid – At the same time, looking on the horizon, there is something I stumbled on that has positives and negatives. I took a leap of faith today. It would be a HUGE change. It has been something that has been on the back burner for some time. Whether or not anything comes of it is yet to be seen. If it does, there are some big things to think about and consider.

Angry – Annoyed – Exasperated – Done – One phone call can bring about so many emotions. How many times can the same things be rehashed? When do you just say “Forget it? I’m done?” An hour and 20 minutes of being on speaker phone being accused, judged, called every profane name imaginable, and treated like a piece of crap is not exactly how I want to spend my time. Once you apologize for something, you shouldn’t be expected to keep apologizing for it over and over again. Especially when the other party has said they forgive you. My God, it was a vicious circle of things that are from years ago, yet here we are talking about it again! Enough is enough. If you can’t get past it, I don’t know what to tell you. Don’t feel sorry for me or my family, because quite frankly, we are fine! Please just let it go!

Dedicated – It is time for me to stop letting the outside BS affect me and my family. I am dedicated to being the best husband and father I can be to those who will let me. I have found happiness and NO ONE will take that away from me. I love my family more than I will ever be able to express here, and intend to keep it together. Leave your negativity at the door or better yet, keep it away. There is LOVE, tenderness, faith, and joy in my house! I intend to increase those feelings with every moment I am alive!

Sadness – With every day my kids continue to grow up. Ella will be two this week. I am having a very difficult time wrapping my head around that. Andrew will be 4 months old this week and it seems like time won’t slow down. Sam has often said to me that she feels when she is done with work for the week, she feels like the look older and are bigger. I feel the same way. Despite having gone through this with my two older sons, it feels like time is going by even faster than before.

I will end on a positive emotion:

Happiness – This week, Ella started saying, “I love you, too, Daddy.” and “I love you, too, Mommy” after we tell her that we love her. There is nothing that will melt your heart faster.

Earlier today, Andrew was laying on the floor and he was giggling. I snapped a picture of him and Ella immediately came over and laid next to him and said, “My turn, Daddy!” In an absolute amazing moment, she grabbed his hand and I snapped the picture.

THAT IS WHAT MATTERS! Those two amazing kids (and my beautiful and wonderful wife) are the source of my happiness. There is nothing but joy connected with them. There is no negativity. There is no hate. There are no grudges. There are no hidden motives. There is LOVE. There is JOY. There is HAPPINESS. There is DELIGHT. There is LAUGHTER.

This is what is important! THEY are what is important.

On my bad days, those two special kids remind me to focus on what really matters!