Today, I’m a Worry Wart

I have posted this quote before, but it fits today (and hopefully will help). My grandfather once told me, “Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere!” Despite the truth of that, I find my mind all over the place.

As you are aware, my youngest son recently had a second surgery for his laryngomalacia. He had a follow up visit with the ENT last week and the swelling was still there. The doc said that it should have been gone by now. They did a scope in the office and found that aside of the swelling, everything looked good.

The ENT then sent off a note to the pediatric sleep neurologist saying that he didn’t feel that Andrew’s apnea was something with his throat. He told her that he thought it might be something neurological. She thought that might be the case, too. Andrew actually had a visit with the pediatric neurologist this week. We walked away from that visit with more questions and some concerning possibilities.

He is already in speech because of the original delay. Now, he is dropping syllables in words, or changing them to a different letter. “Mommy” is now “monny.” “Daddy” is now “dah-eee.” The speech therapist had noticed that it seemed as though he was losing muscle tone in his face. The neurologist feels the same way.

It was a very long appointment. At one point, after reviewing the symptoms and giving him an exam, she said, “What am I missing?” She thought a bit more and presented the plan. We are at the point where we need to start ruling stuff out. There were many procedures ordered and we are going to be very busy.

He will have a 24 hour EEG, a brain MRI, generic blood workup, and yet another sleep study. The EEG will help rule out seizures. The brain MRI will help to rule out cerebral palsy. The sleep study will evaluate where his apnea is at and the possibility of another CPAP machine. The generic blood work is to rule out things like Fragile X syndrome and other possible genetic disorders. He will also see a specialist to rule out things like Muscular Dystrophy.

As a father, these things brought my stress levels sky high. Andrew has already been through so much. I don’t want to have to put him through any more, but we need to know what’s going on. Our neurologist applauded Sam and I for being proactive. Our medical backgrounds really made us question a lot, and she said that we are ahead of the game.

Sam keeps me balanced. I expressed my worries to her and she told me that we can’t worry about what we don’t know yet. There are a lot of possibilities, but until we have something to worry about, Sam and I will pray that all will be ok.

It helps me to write this down for a couple reasons. First, seeing it in front of me “gets it out.” Next, it allows me to fill folks in who are asking about what is going on. Finally, it allows me to expand the prayer chain. If you pray, can I ask that you keep this fine young man in yours?

Thanks in advance!

Mischievous Message

The other day I was at work. My wife had texted me something while I was working with a patient. When I came back to the tech room and saw it I responded. “Sorry, I just now saw this. Was with a patient.”

The text that followed threw me …

We call Andrew “Bubby.” and I joked that maybe he had gotten ahold of the phone. I truly didn’t think it was him, because Sam has a lock code on her phone.

When the second text came through, I was a bit freaked out. Was my wife ok? Was she having a stroke? The worry started to hit me. Suddenly, she responded – with a picture of him.

She explained to me what happened and I chuckled. Her post from social media:

Walk into the bedroom to check on Andrew who was sleeping. And this is what I walk into… with him on my phone.

Take my phone away from him, his response….

“Hey! Me text daddy!”

I’m sorry to anyone who gets random texts from my kid. He knows how to unlock my phone :-(

This kid is brilliant. How he knew her passcode is beyond me!

Oh, and I am sure she probably had to delete about 274 pictures of his forehead afterward. He always winds up taking many selfies!

A Striking Query

I am about to pose a question to you. I already have my answer, however, I hoped you might contribute to the “conversation.” Let me set it up for you.

This morning, Sam and I are sitting in the living room drinking coffee. She tells me that we are supposed to be getting some really nasty storms this afternoon. I opened up my weather app and sure enough, it looks like there will be some heavy stuff rolling through.

While the kids eat breakfast, Sam jumps in the shower. When she gets out I tell her that I want to shower early before the storm. She chuckles and says, “You don’t believe that old wives tale, do you?” I stood their looking at her thinking, “It’s no wives tale. It’s a fact.” She keeps staring at me and can’t believe that I don’t want to shower during the storm.

Now, my wife is usually right about things. So I wait a bit before getting ready to shower. I know I want to shower early anyway because rain always slows the drive. As the rain starts, I look at my weather app.

It’s really coming down. I tell Sam I am going to shower real fast. She laughs again and says, “You are not going to get struck by lightning in the shower!” So naturally, I Google it. “Hey, Google. Is it safe to shower during a thunderstorm?” The response read:

I show this to my wife who laughed it off. I know that this was not something that I learned second hand. I want to say that they even told us this in school – probably the same time they told us not to stand under trees during a storm.

So I know the answer to my question. It is not safe to shower during a thunderstorm. So let me pose another question to you –

Did you know this to be true or die you think it was an old wives tale or urban legend? I’m interested to know.

Sooner Than We Thought

We’ll be sending up a lot of prayers this week.

Andrew’s surgery was schedule to happen in late September. Sam woke up this afternoon saying that the ENT office had called and wanted us to call back as soon as we got the message. They had mentioned a while back that they may want to move the surgery up a little.

They hadn’t called back by the time I left for work today. Sam called me as I pulled in to tell me that they indeed had moved it up … a lot. She posted this earlier today:

Got a phone call today from Andrew’s surgeon that he went over recent testing Based on that, plus the increase in choking and aspiration, it was no longer safe to wait for surgery. So Thursday this sweet boy will go in for yet another surgery. This surgery is a big one, with a whole bunch of scary things. But we are going in with faith that this will be the surgery to fix his little throat completely!

We have no idea how long he will need to stay in the hospital. They informed us of the many possibilities that he/we could be facing. Very scary possibilities, indeed. However, we will be praying that all goes well and that he heals up quickly. This weekend will be very stressful.

If you wouldn’t mind sending some positive vibes, good wishes, or prayers our way, I’d appreciate it.

Random (and cool) Act of Kindness

As you know, they are working on our street. They are ripping up the water and sewer lines and working on a new water main before resurfacing the whole road.

This morning as I was cooking breakfast Sam took Andrew outside because Consumers Energy was out working on something. They had two of their diggers out and Andrew is fascinated by the “Big trucks.”

As they stood watching, one of the workers walked up to Sam. She told him that Andrew loves watching and he asked if he’d like to sit in the digger. He said yes, and the man walked over and turned the machine off and put Andrew up in the cab of the digger.

He was in heaven! I guess he was loving being in there and then looked at Sam a bit scared and said, “All done.” He went back to Sam, who was kicking herself for leaving her phone in the house. She said it would have been such a cool picture.

The guy told Sam that when he was a kid, his dad took him to a building site or somewhere where there was construction going on. A man asked him if he’d like to get in the machine. When he said yes, he got a huge thrill. The man told Sam that it was a core memory that he will never forget. He said, whenever he sees a child watching them work, if he is able, he always tries to let them sit in one of the machines. He hopes that it will become a great memory for whoever sits in it.

Sam didn’t get the man’s name, but kudos to him for being such a nice guy and offering up a once in a lifetime memory for others. I wish I could extend my gratitude and let his bosses know what a great employee they have!

Jotting Down Some Randomness

The past week has been one of change and challenges for me. I am usually not lacking things I want to write about, but the past few days have been … well, busy. I’ve jotted little random thoughts in my “possible blog” notebook but none of them really warrants a full blown blog. So I decided to throw many of them all together for you. Consider it a Blogging Smorgasbord.

(Mental note: Use Smorgasbord in a sentence today. Check!)

Afternoon Adjustment

One of the biggest changes for me has been the switch from midnights to afternoons. Things have been very busy at work and I know that there are a lot of things that I still need to learn. However, I’ve sort of settled in and have taken care of reviewing patient charts, scoring records, helping techs with hook ups and whatever else is needed.

It’s weird to see the “day people.” We see their names in e-mails and on orders, but to actually see them … it’s just weird. There is a small window of time between when the day folks leave and the night folks come in where the building is strangely quiet. It’s almost too quiet. I have had to make sure that I turn some music on in order for me not to get distracted by the silence.

My entire eating schedule is out of whack, too. I’m used to lunch at 11pm and dinner at 3:30am. Now, I am eating on what you would call a “normal” schedule. I also have to deal with the never ending supply of sweets and snacks from the day staff. It seems that there are always some kind of goodies on the break room table.

The best part has been being able to crawl into bed and hold my wife at night (when one of the kids isn’t in our bed!). In just one week, I feel like we have talked more like when we first got married. Both of us are rested, get up and have coffee together, and have breakfast and lunch as a family. It really is wonderful.

Date Night

Sam and I have a date night coming up this weekend. If there is ever any question as to whether I love her or not, this should prove that the answer is a resounding YES. Look, I’ve seen a few episodes of the Golden Girls here and there. Sophia reminds me of my Italian grandma. However, I wouldn’t go out of my way to see a “Golden Girls” stage show – unless my wife wanted to see it. She does and we are.

I don’t know much about the show. The Golden Girls – The Laughs Continue. I heard it is a bit “raunchier” than the actual show. My co-worker saw it tonight and said it was good. He promised to not give away any spoilers. He took his wife.

We were talking about how some people really got into it and were dressing up to go to shows like this. My wife has informed me that she has something for us to wear to the show. If I wind up in a wig and a dress, I will be sure to share pictures.

Did You Ever ….

This doesn’t happen often, but have you ever started a book with the impression that it was going to be good only to find it slow and not what you expected? I am listening to an audiobook that I borrowed based solely on the title. The unabridged audio book is just over 11 hours. I am three hours in and I am just now feeling like it might be starting to get interesting, but I’m not sure. I debated whether or not to just stop listening.

I suppose it is my fault. I usually read the synopsis before deciding on reading a book. I never did for this one. Prior to blogging, I read the synopsis and afterward asked myself, “If I had read this before adding it to my ‘to read’ list, would I have actually wanted to read it?” I’m guessing not. I will probably listen a little longer just to see what, if anything, happens. At some point, though, I need to decide whether I want to finish it or not.

I Don’t Get the Hype

Someone posted the above on Facebook and I had to steal it. I truly don’t know how to take the hype surrounding the Barbie movie. My first thought is that Hollywood’s creativity is at an all time low and this was the result of someone scraping the bottom of the barrel for a movie idea. “Oooooo! I know! Let’s make a movie about Barbie and the various versions of dolls!” How does this idea even make it up the flagpole!?

Sam actually wondered if it would be something that Ella might like. Most people who did see it said it was probably not something to take kids to. It seems that this movie is made for adults who used to play with Barbie dolls or something. Urgh.

This leads to my second thought – adults are actually willing to pay big ticket prices to actually watch this in a theater. THIS is what the general public sees as “entertainment.” At what point do they just throw together two hours of 2 to 3 minute Tik Tok or Snapchat videos and market it as a “major motion picture?!” Sure, you can watch that crap on your phone, but if they did put it in theaters, you can bet that people would flock to see it. Next thing you know, some idiot Tik Tok “star” will get an Academy Award!

It has been a LONG time since there has been a movie that has come out that I would actually want to pay to see. I’ve been fascinated by the story of Hiroshima, so the Oppenheimer movie might be something I’d go see, but the reviews are mixed. I will probably do what I usually do – wait to stream it or rent it.

New Bluey? Yes, I Will Watch!

My wife says to me today: “Have you watched the new Bluey episodes yet?”

I shout back, “What?! Are they one Disney + already? I didn’t think they were airing in the US yet!”

Yes. There are new episodes. Yes. I will watch them by myself.

I learned a long time ago that it is totally ok for an adult to watch cartoons without kids. It keeps me young!

She’s Movin’ On Up!

There is nothing that makes time move faster than watching your children grow. In 6 months, Ella will be 4 years old. It seems like just yesterday that I was blogging about getting her room and crib put together!

Moving from the crib to a toddler bed was the next big step. This is a step that Andrew is getting closer to every day. How in the world has her “big girl bed” lost that status? It is a sad reality, but true. Ella is movin’ on up from her toddler bed to a “real” big girl bed!

Sam and I looked for twin beds on Amazon and we found one that looked cute and will serve a dual purpose.

We opted to get a trundle bed, which Andrew (or a friend/cousin) can use in the future.

The mattress came Monday and It was all rolled up in a box and shrink wrapped. I opened it up and it had to sit flat for 72 hours before you could use it. Thankfully, the bed itself didn’t arrive until yesterday.

Ella was very excited to be sleeping in her new bed ASAP! When I got home from work this morning, she was asking when I was going to build it. Sam had a doctor appointment today and she took the kids with her, so I built it while they were gone. It wasn’t the easiest thing to build in her room, which still had things on the floor, but I got it done.

With her graduation to a twin bed, that meant we needed to get some new sheets and a new bedding set. Sam bought her a Disney Princess set, which she liked, but those are not the sheets on her bed.

Sam’s mom, knowing that Ella was moving to a twin bed soon, saved the butterfly sheet set that used to be on her sister Grace’s bed. You may remember that Grace passed away late last year. Ella was very close to her.

When Sam asked if she wanted her new princess bedding or the butterfly bedding. She instantly said the butterfly one! The conversation went like this:

Ella: Mommy if I use Gracie’s bed sheets then she will come visit me. I miss her so much! I need her to come visit, she has been a good girl for Jesus long enough.

Sam: When you have Gracie’s blankets they will let her come visit you every night in your dreams.

The Sam walked away crying.

May your new bed bring you many visits from Gracie and plenty of sweet dreams, my princess!

Hit the Deck!

So, my father-in-law and I are working on yet another project. This one, however, was not a planned project. And as per usual, once we started it, we found that we’ll be doing more than expected.

This time it is our side porch. Forgive the photo, but the only one I could find was one I took once the Christmas lights were up.

The above picture will serve as a “Before” picture, as I didn’t really take one.

So here is what happened. Sam and I have been discussing getting rid of the railing and just keeping the posts for some time. One day she was sitting on her bench rocker and I leaned over the railing and it broke away from the post. That wasn’t such a big deal because the railing was going away.

However, when the second post from the left in the above picture broke away from the porch itself, we knew we had a problem. It seems that the bottom of the post and the deck boards were dry rotting. With that little incident, I called my father-in-law.

We began to look at each of the posts and saw that some of the others had done the same thing. One of them, in all honesty, we can’t even believe that the roof hadn’t come down! We decided that were were going to do some wider posts and just fix the bad boards. But, as I have stated, nothing ever goes that smoothly for us.

Once we got rid of the railings, we went to work on the posts. The bad news was that they only had a few of the decking boards we needed. That was when my father-in-law suggested that we could probably get away with just replacing the bad boards and stain/paint the deck. We ripped out the bad boards and laid the new boards and ran into another issue.

The old boards are double boards (in the orange square). They have a groove down the middle (green arrow). The only deck boards we could get were single boards (in the blue square) and when you put them together, there is no groove. This led to about a one inch gap (circled in yellow). So it became obvious that we now will end up ripping up all of the old deck board and replace with new ones – at about 15 bucks a board!

With daylight fading, we were able to lay down the remaining deck board and we got up three of the five posts.

In all honesty, despite the work and cost involved, I think the deck is going to look really good. My father-in-law and I were talking and I can see a grey paint or dark stain for the deck itself and white paint for the posts. I am excited to see how this all turns out. I’ve got my fingers crossed that we run into no more issues ….

I’m hoping this is the last big project for quite awhile!

Afternoon Delight

Every doctor appointment I go to starts this way:

Doctor: You still working midnights?

Me: Yes

Doctor: Yeah, we gotta get you off those!

Well, she will be happy when I come to the next appointment! I will finally be able to answer “no.”

A week or so ago, our interim manager called to ask if I might be interested in an afternoon position. Naturally, I had questions. She gave me more information and I told her I would have to discuss things with my wife.

Once I brought it up to Sam, she immediately said that I should do it. There were some things that we’d obviously have to adjust, but we could make it work.

For me, it will be a big change. One thing I am certainly looking forward to is actually being able to sleep with my wife next to me. Working opposite shifts has been tough.

Another thing I am looking forward to is having some meals together as a family on a more regular basis. Those family meals are very limited with our current schedules.

I will still be working with patients from time to time, but it will be a lot less than I do now. I will be more of a bridge between days and nights. I will be helping sort charts, assigning patients, and working with day staff.

It will certainly be a big change, and the positives outweigh the negatives. I think it’s going to make a huge difference in my life.

Besides, on a bright note (pun intended), I will see the sun a whole lot more!!

Another Surgery Soon

My youngest son, Andrew, has had his share of challenges in his almost two years. After his first sleep study, he was diagnosed with laryngomalacia. It was causing him to have sleep apnea. A surgery was done to correct that problem. While in surgery, a cleft was discovered and the surgeon filled it.

Three months later, he had a second sleep study and his sleep apnea index had gone down, but not quite enough. We opted to try CPAP, which meant a third (CPAP) sleep study. It worked for a while, but because of a lack of proper pediatric CPAP masks, we wound up stopping and attempting to treat it another way. Medications to help open nasal passages and the airway were prescribed and they seemed to work well, as he was sleeping a bit better (despite some louder snore).

Just before the Fourth of July, he had a fourth study and we discovered that his apnea is worse than it was last time. We also found that the laryngomalacia, which he should have grown out of by now, was still an issue.

Andrew had his visit to the ENT today and there was quite a discussion. It seems to the doctor and his colleagues that the main issue is the cleft. They will probably have to do a deeper scope to make sure there isn’t another cleft. The goal is to repair the cleft or clefts. They may remove tonsils and adenoids, too. Either way, it is a much bigger surgery than we anticipated.

He will probably be in the hospital for a few days, perhaps in ICU. We’ll be awaiting a call to schedule surgery Monday. They think it will be sometime in August or September. I found this video on YouTube, which only scared me more.

My wife and I are quite overwhelmed right now. We can only hope and pray that this will take care of Andrew’s issues and the healing will be fast and easy.

I thank you in advance for your good vibes, your positive thoughts, and prayers as we anxiously await a plan of action.