Too Much Information! (Sorry)

It is purely coincidence that the last blog I wrote was entitled “Always the Butt of Jokes.” Today’s blog could have also had “Butt” in the title, however, I decided against it.

I will never have to doubt that my wife loves me. She has always proven that on a daily basis. This week, she proved it once again, speaking all of the infamous 5 Love Languages! Let me explain.

It has been 5 years and it is once again time for that dreaded colonoscopy. If you have never had one, rejoice! Yes, it is completely necessary, but the prep and all that leads up to it is a special kind of torture/hell.

Since we live over an hour away from where the procedure is happening, I certainly did not want to be stuck in a car in traffic with the possibility of having to go and having nowhere to go! We decided to stay somewhere close to where we needed to be.

By doing so, my wife took care of those five Love Languages:

First, “Words of Affirmation,” by saying that she would gladly stay with me during the prep and calling me “baby.” Ok, maybe she called me “a big baby,” but I can’t remember.
She took care of Love Language “Physical Touch,” by holding my hand as she did the above.
“Acts of Service,” was taken care of by getting us a hotel room to stay in the night before the procedure.
“Quality Time,” will happen on the drive down to the hotel and while we stay at the hotel, although there may be frequent bathroom breaks.
Finally, “Gifts,” will be that we are taking extra soft toilet paper with us to the hotel.

I love my wife, dearly. I know she loves me because she told me that she would only “get a hotel room for a night for someone to poop in” because she loved them (i.e. ME!)

A Crappy (and funny) Story

Every now and then, I have to blog a story just so I won’t forget it. This is one of those times.

We have one of those inflatable pools for the kids. You know the ones I’m talking about? They kind of look like this:

Ours is a bit bigger than the one above. We only fill it half way, but the kids just love it.

Over the weekend, I was out weed whacking the yard before mowing. It was already pretty hot outside. The kids were outside, too and decided to just jump in. Sam was outside with them and just let them play in there with their clothes on. The issue was that Ella was still in a Pull up and Andrew was in a diaper. Well, you know what those diapers do when they get wet!

At some point both the Pull Up and the diaper had absorbed about all the water they could. Sam had the kids take off their clothes and they wound back in the pool naked. As I passed the pool on my way back out to the backyard I said, “Don’t poop in the pool,” and continued the yard work.

It wasn’t long and Sam called to me. “Come here! Andrew wants to show you something.” As I came around the garage, I saw Andrew standing on the driveway. It took me a minute to realize that my son is smarter than I thought. He didn’t poop in the pool. Instead, he chose to poop on the driveway.

You just can’t make stuff like this up!

Relating to Cartoon Dogs

“Oh boy. Here goes Keith talking about that Bluey show again. Isn’t that a kid show? Why does he watch that?”

I relate to it! There, I said it. There are so many things about this show that I can relate to! For example, in our house, Sam and I cannot use the bathroom without one or both of the kids being in there with us. Bandit, Bluey’s dad, deals with that …

All he wants to do is poop for crying out loud! Look at that poor dog!

Another example which hold true in our house – the short amount of time it takes to go from clean to disaster.

I swear this just happened to me yesterday! The kids have this bowl of fake fruit and veggies that they play with. They keep all of it in a plastic Tupperware bowl. I literally walked all over the loving room picking up fake cucumbers, broccoli, onions, apples, bananas, avocadoes, tomatoes and more! I put them all back in the bowl and put them in the door of the fake kitchen. I went and got a cup of coffee and returned to the living room to find all of the contents of the bowl on the floor again!

The kids had Disney on the other morning and they were playing the episode called “Dunny.” In Australia, where Bluey lives, “dunny” is a slang term for toilet. The episode takes place in the parents bedroom. The kids are hanging out in bed with their parents and discussing why “dunny” isn’t an appropriate word for toilet.

This episode led to me thinking back to my childhood and I remember many Saturday mornings getting up and going into my folks bedroom. Many times we’d crawl into bed and just goof off. I truly wish I had more photos of those times. I have a few. First, one of my favorite photos of my mom and I (forgive me if I have posted these before).

I remember going in and waking her up. She’d always snuggle us and read books we brought in there. Those Saturday mornings were always so much fun.

My dad used to get in bed with us and wrestle with us. Sometimes he’d pretend to be Moe from the Three Stooges. There would be a “bear” we had to hide from and we’d get under the covers and hide. Sometimes he’d say he’d go check to see if the bear was still there and we’d be under the covers and he’d growl and grab at us from the top of the covers. We had so much fun when he did that!

Just the other morning, Ella and Andrew woke up and it was them, Sam and me in our bed. It was just a lot of silliness and me wrestling or tickling them and hiding under the covers.

I’m not sure what it is about being under covers that is cool. We built a fort with blankets and such the other day and they loved it. Then I started sitting on the floor and covering myself in a blanket and they’d come over and get under the “tent” with me. Sam even got into the fun the other morning!

So yeah, I watch Bluey. I relate to it more than any cartoon or kid’s show before it. The more I see an episode, the more I find myself saying, “I need to do that” or “I’ve done that!”

If you have toddlers, you have to check it out. If you’re an adult, you should to. In my opinion, it is the best.

One final example? Sure. I can’t tell you how many times I have gone into the kid’s rooms after they fall asleep and just watch them. It’s not weird – only parents get it.