Today, I’m a Worry Wart

I have posted this quote before, but it fits today (and hopefully will help). My grandfather once told me, “Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere!” Despite the truth of that, I find my mind all over the place.

As you are aware, my youngest son recently had a second surgery for his laryngomalacia. He had a follow up visit with the ENT last week and the swelling was still there. The doc said that it should have been gone by now. They did a scope in the office and found that aside of the swelling, everything looked good.

The ENT then sent off a note to the pediatric sleep neurologist saying that he didn’t feel that Andrew’s apnea was something with his throat. He told her that he thought it might be something neurological. She thought that might be the case, too. Andrew actually had a visit with the pediatric neurologist this week. We walked away from that visit with more questions and some concerning possibilities.

He is already in speech because of the original delay. Now, he is dropping syllables in words, or changing them to a different letter. “Mommy” is now “monny.” “Daddy” is now “dah-eee.” The speech therapist had noticed that it seemed as though he was losing muscle tone in his face. The neurologist feels the same way.

It was a very long appointment. At one point, after reviewing the symptoms and giving him an exam, she said, “What am I missing?” She thought a bit more and presented the plan. We are at the point where we need to start ruling stuff out. There were many procedures ordered and we are going to be very busy.

He will have a 24 hour EEG, a brain MRI, generic blood workup, and yet another sleep study. The EEG will help rule out seizures. The brain MRI will help to rule out cerebral palsy. The sleep study will evaluate where his apnea is at and the possibility of another CPAP machine. The generic blood work is to rule out things like Fragile X syndrome and other possible genetic disorders. He will also see a specialist to rule out things like Muscular Dystrophy.

As a father, these things brought my stress levels sky high. Andrew has already been through so much. I don’t want to have to put him through any more, but we need to know what’s going on. Our neurologist applauded Sam and I for being proactive. Our medical backgrounds really made us question a lot, and she said that we are ahead of the game.

Sam keeps me balanced. I expressed my worries to her and she told me that we can’t worry about what we don’t know yet. There are a lot of possibilities, but until we have something to worry about, Sam and I will pray that all will be ok.

It helps me to write this down for a couple reasons. First, seeing it in front of me “gets it out.” Next, it allows me to fill folks in who are asking about what is going on. Finally, it allows me to expand the prayer chain. If you pray, can I ask that you keep this fine young man in yours?

Thanks in advance!

My List Keeps Growing

I wanted to do a quick blog about something that has been on my mind for the past couple days. My prayer list seems to get longer and longer each and every day. I can’t even really blame it on the pandemic, although it certainly has played a part in it.

As I scroll through Facebook, I will often come across a friend who is asking for prayers. It could be in relation to the loss of a loved one or maybe a family member who is hospitalized. Sometimes the prayer request is an “open” one where the friend asks for prayer without revealing why they need them. Many times I will stop scrolling and pray at that moment, while other times I add them to a list.

That list is a long one. This week I added two more friends who shared that they have entered the cancer battlefield. They are my age. We went to school together. It’s not fair. God, do I hate cancer!

Breast Cancer cut the lives of my mom and grandmother short. Lung Cancer took the life of a radio friend. Brain cancer took the life of a young gal I met while doing a radiothon for kids with cancer. It doesn’t matter what type of cancer it is, I really hate it. I am grateful for my friends who are cancer survivors – I have many of them and I have prayed for them all.

To my two friends who shared their diagnosis with me and are beginning your battle – I will pray for you and am here for you if you need to vent, cry, or complain. For my friends who continue their fight, I pray for you, too. For those who are in remission and cancer survivors – you are an inspiration to those who are in the fight.

Keep Fighting! I’m praying for you!

Lost In Thought

I was sent home from work tonight because of low volume.

The night started off on a high note. One of my co-workers stopped at an Italian bakery and brought me some pignolata! It is a Sicilian dessert that I blogged about 5 days ago. I was excited to dive right in. Naturally, I had my reservations. My grandma never used sprinkles, and this batch has them on it.

I asked my co-worker if she wanted to try it. She stated she bought some for herself and a friend and had tried it. She was not impressed. My heart sank. Now, I had to try it. I was disappointed. It was similar, but no where close to grandma’s. There was not enough honey, not enough chocolate chips, and no powdered sugar. Sigh.

As I drove home, I passed the town Christmas tree. It was already lit. Stupid Covid. Every year, our little town does a tree lighting ceremony. Santa shows up, there is a parade where the high school band marches down main street, and the shops are open with baked goods and hot chocolate. Afterward, there are some games and other activities. Obviously, this didn’t happen this year. What a shame! I really enjoy doing that with the family.

I came home to to a quiet house, turned on the Christmas lights and thought about how different things are gonna be this year. It makes me sad. It makes me hope that there will be some sort of “normal” by next year! Kids shouldn’t have to talk with Santa through a bubble or behind glass…

It seems that every time I open my Facebook, a friend has lost someone dear to them. One friend has literally posted about one friend passing away and within an hour, she posted another friend had passed away, too. Too many friends have lost parents or children this year. Many of these aren’t even Covid related! There is so much sadness.

I feel like my prayer list grows bigger and bigger every night. I pray for those friends who have family members in the hospital. I pray for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. I pray for those who have struggle because of the loss of employment. The list goes on and on. I will keep praying …

My cousin summed things up recently when she posted this…

Before you start bragging that you’ve done your Christmas shopping and post a picture of 175 wrapped gifts under the tree, please remember :

Some parents have lost their jobs and don’t know how they’re going to feed their kids, never mind buy presents for them.

Some families are on 80% pay and only just managing to pay bills. 😔 (Some are making less than that, or trying to make it off unemployment!)

Some people have lost family members and Christmas won’t be the same now or ever again. 💔

Some people don’t go online and now have no idea when or how they’ll be able to shop.

Some people are completely isolated and alone, and won’t be receiving any gifts from anyone at all.

Some people are fighting for their lives!!! Christmas shopping is the last thing on their minds. So remember, nobody likes a show off!!!

For me this year, more than ever before, it’s more important who is around your tree rather than what’s under it.

Be humble. Be thoughtful. Be kind. That’s what the holiday season is really about.