Happy 18th Birthday!

18 years ago today, I became a father for a second time, when my son, Dimitri, was born. It is truly amazing to watch them grow from this…..

….to this….

“Don’t Blink” they say. True words.

He was always a bit more athletic than my oldest son. He loved to play T-ball, and I got to be his coach.

In high school, he took an interest in golf, and I loved being able to get out and shoot 18 holes with him.

There was never a dull moment when he was around. I was DJing an event one time, and had some music programmed ahead of time. I had left the stage for a minute to give out prizes and when I returned he had donned my headphones, put on some gold shades, and was acting like he was spinning tunes!

After my wife and I got back from Florida (and getting married), the first day back and went and watched him in his first play. He was actually very good and even sang on stage.

18 years have flown by, son. I know that life hasn’t always been easy, but I want you to know that no matter what, I love you. I am behind you 100%. If you need to talk about anything, you can come to me and I will listen without judgement. I can promise you that I will always be here for you.

You are officially an adult today. As you begin this new phase of your life, remember that the world is good at throwing you curveballs. Keep your eyes forward. Get up when you are knocked down. Never let emotions influence a decision. Forgive. Love. Be YOU.

I love you, son. Happy birthday!

Moments To Remember

I have mentioned how messes raise my anxiety levels. When the kids are playing in slime, or with play dough, or painting I am anxiously awaiting the mess.

They have a sandbox that they love to play in. Naturally, the sand winds up on the side porch, in their shoes, on the driveway, in the road, and in their hair. My wife, Sam, decided that they needed a “Mud Kitchen.” The idea is that they can make mud pies, etc…

Andrew and my father-in-law built the frame out of scrap wood. I ran up to the store to get bags of top soil to fill the frame. My wife went to the dollar store and bought containers, bowls, spoons and such so they could play in it. At first it wasn’t so bad. They the added some water.

They had mud all over themselves. I had to spray them down with the hose before I could even let them inside the house. I know that someday soon I will put on a shoe that will be filled with topsoil – or mud!

Mother’s Day was full of surprises, even if my wife had to sleep through it, because she worked the night before. Ella brought her home a flower from preschool for her. She was so happy to give it to mommy.

The kids and I had to run out to Home Depot on Saturday (more on why in a paragraph or two). While we were there we walked through the garden area. Andrew saw a hanging flower/plant that he though mom would like, so we bought it and actually got to hang it from the shepherd’s hook in the yard.

Sam has always loved gnomes. For her birthday one year I bought her a birdbath with a gnome sitting in front of a mushroom. The mushroom stem goes up to hold the mushroom top, which is the actual bath for the birds. There was a cute gnome that had mushrooms rising up around him that light up at night. So we bought that to put by the birdbath.

Earlier in the week, our dryer stopped spinning. It made noise when you turned it on like it wanted to spin, but it didn’t. After Googling, all the sites pointed to a broken belt broken pulley or a bad roller. I ordered a kit online and after watching YouTube, decided I could do this job myself.

The first thing I had to do was shut off the gas. So I went downstairs and found the only shut off valve I could find.

After I turned that off, I went upstairs to disconnect the hose from the dryer. As soon as the nut was loosened, I could hear the gas pouring out of the hose. It took me a bit to get it back on, and now the entire house smelled like gas.

It took me almost an hour of following pipes around looking for another shut off valve. There is a space right above the furnace that is like a dark hole. There is no light up there, and it is such an odd place for a valve, but it was the only place I hadn’t checked. After getting up and in a position where I could shine the flashlight, sure enough, there it was!

I watched step by step and did exactly what the video showed me to do. I kid you not, I almost had the dryer completely taken apart for this job. I pulled the drum and checked the belt, which looked ok. I looked at all four rollers and they looked ok, too. The pulley for the belt looked like it might be going bad, so I thought maybe that was the culprit.

After replacing the belt, the rollers and the pulley, I watched the video on how to put it back together. Once it was together, it was time for the moment of truth. I turned on the power and selected a cycle. I hit start and ….. it was still making the noise and still not spinning. I was devastated. I truly thought that I could fix it.

Monday after we dropped Ella off at school, Andrew asked if I wanted to take a walk. I was thrilled that he wanted to do that! We walked the entire neighborhood and he talked almost the entire way. He asked questions, pointed out dogs, talked about which cars were the same colors as ours, and watched squirrels run around.

It was a highlight of the day.

Tuesday, Ella had her first T-Ball game. I’m going to have to find days to take off so I can watch her play. Sam says she is like a different player this year. She is hitting pitches that the coaches pitch and catching/fielding balls like crazy. I’m thankful for mommy taking pictures for me.

Yesterday was one long list of things to do. My wife and kids were out almost all day doing something. When they got home they all went to bed.

This morning, Andrew had an early doctor appointment. It was close to where I work. So Sam suggested that before this work training meeting I had to be at meeting at a park. There is one about 2-3 miles from work. Ella and I met Andrew and mom there. The kids got to run and play with new friends and Sam and I got a little time to sit and enjoy each other’s company.

Being stuck at work is not the way I wanted to spend my birthday, but at least this morning I got to be with some of the most important people in my life!

Life’s Little Moments

We’ve had a lot going on over the past week. I feel like I am just getting around to settling down.

Easter

I hope you had a good Easter, if you celebrate. My wife’s family did all the Easter stuff on the Friday before. I had to work, so I missed all the fun. They had an egg hunt for the kids, and Nana and Pa got each grandkid a little something. Andrew was in his glory!

He got his very own tool box! It is similar to Pa’s, and is better than mine! He told Andrew that he could come over and collect some tools to put in it later in the week.

My wife worked Saturday night, so Easter for us was Saturday Morning. The kids were excited to get their baskets.

They each got some cool loot this year, including special drinking cups – a princess one for Ella and a Paw Patrol one for Andrew. We spent the day playing and cleaning.

On Easter Sunday, I was told to cook the ham that was in the fridge. Honestly, I don’t know how many people my wife thought we were feeding. She bought a 13 pound ham! Andrew had some, my wife and I had some, but Ella is not a fan. Needless to say, there was a lot left over.

On Monday, I ran to the store with a crockpot recipe I found for ham and potato soup. I bought the ingredients we didn’t have and made it up. My goodness, it was delicious! It was so simple, too. I like simple. We’ll be doing that again.

Back to the Diamond

Last year, Ella said she really didn’t want to play T-ball again. Then she said she might. We signed her up and she’s already had her first practice. I was at work, but my wife said that this year, she is rocking it. Last year, she had trouble hitting the ball. I guess she nailed them all at practice.

Her games are all on days I work, so I’m going to have to figure out how to get to a couple of them.

Outdoor Play

With the weather warming up, the kids can finally go outside. They love riding their scooters and bikes. Ella, however, still wants to play with her Barbies. So this week, Sam told her she could bring out one of her Barbie houses and she could play with them outside. I think she liked the idea.

School Silliness

It is hard to believe that school is almost out for the summer. Ella has loved preschool. I have loved having mornings together. We all pile in the car and enjoy the drive to school. Sometimes she will talk about her classmates and sometimes she wants to listen to kids songs on the radio. When Andrew comes with us, it is always a hoot to listen to them talk about stuff in the backseat.

Ella mentioned while waiting in the car this week that we hadn’t taken a before school selfie in awhile. Usually, when we all try to get one, it comes out wonky because of movement or something. We had a magic moment this week …

Gee, Thanks, Dad

Andrew stayed at Nana and Pa’s house yesterday. Pa was putting in a new toilet. He was drilling a hole in the floor and that was all Andrew needed to see. He was going to stay and help Pa. At one point, they had to run up to Home Depot for something. Andrew LOVES tool stores! I can only imagine what that had to be like for my father-in-law.

At any rate, while they were there Andrew asked for something. Pa, naturally bought it for him. When my wife went to pick him up, she gasped when she saw him.

Pa bought him a REAL STAPLE GUN! Thankfully, there are no staples. The first thing my father-in-law said was, “Don’t worry. I made sure it was safe for him!”

When Sam did our nightly video call, she said, “Show daddy what Pa got you.” She turned the phone to show me him and he had it plugged in and he was pulling the trigger on the hardwood floor! I started to freak out until she told me that there were no staples! It just makes noise. He is in utter heaven!! He told me to wake him up when I got home so he could “show me how to use it!”

There truly is never a dull moment at my house!

Songs From The Backseat

I had a day off this week and had a chance to see my daughter play T-ball. Before the game, we had to take a drive down to get my son’s leg braces looked at. The whole family was in the car and Ella asked my wife to play “I am a C” song. I had no idea what that was. She proceeded to pull up a YouTube video of a Christian song for kids. Ella knew all the words.

Sam was surprised I had never heard this one before. I’d been in Vacation Bible School and certainly had sung many of the familiar Christian kid songs, but never this one. It warmed my heart a bunch to hear her singing along.

She did pretty good at T-ball, too, this week! I snapped this one and love it.

She’s all SASS!

Meanwhile, my son Andrew is learning all about house repairs with my father in law. My brother in law bought a house recently and they are working on all kinds of repairs and updates. Andrew is in heaven because “Pa” is letting him help!

He’s right at home with tools! I will have a helper for life!

Tune Tuesday – Centerfield

Having been able to get out and help with my daughter’s T-ball games over the past couple weeks has me in a baseball mood. My Detroit Tigers are not doing as well as I had hoped, but there is a lot of baseball left in the season.

For Tune Tuesday, I picked a great baseball song that is played in stadiums all over the country. “Centerfield” by John Fogerty, who coincidentally turns 79 today.

Fogerty took quite a bit of time off after leaving CCR and two solo albums. When it was time for his comeback, he called the album Centerfield before he’d even written the song. He says the song basically wrote itself. “I was practicing a song, and I came up with that guitar riff that starts the song,” he said. “I went into the studio, playing the guitar with a drumbeat and it just came out.”

The song was the B-side of “Rock and Roll Girls,” and only reached #44 on the charts. However, because of the play it gets at ball games, it certainly has become well known!

In 2010, John Fogerty became the only musician to be celebrated at the Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony when “Centerfield” was honored by the National Baseball Hall of Fame. It is a baseball classic.

Happy birthday to John Fogerty!

First Game in the Books

I took a day off this week so that I could watch Ella’s first T-Ball game. What a treat it was to see he in her uniform. You can’t see in the picture, but they gave her baseball socks that went all the way up to her waist when when I put them on!

Being at the game took me back to when I coached my older boys. That organized chaos hasn’t changed a bit. I felt so bad for the coach. It was only him and another gal trying to get everyone organized, so I stepped in and helped where I could.

Just as I remembered it years ago, the kids love their turn at bat, but hate being in the field. Each team has like 13 kids on it and every kid gets a turn at bat. They get a few pitches to swing at and if they don’t hit it, the ball goes on the tee. I helped bring the tee to the plate and grab it when a kid was running home.

Every kid gets to go to first base and advance a base with each batter. When the team’s last batter comes up and hits, everyone runs home.

She got a few good swings in. I need to work with her a bit more this week. I really need to see which way she bats better – left or right. I am still not sure.

Out in the field, it get’s tougher to keep them focused. There really is no outfield, because no one really hits the ball far. So everyone sort of hangs in the infield. Ella was between 1st and 2nd base when she was out in the field for this game.

It took me a few tries, but I finally got her to get in the “ready” position. It never lasted long. She would often sit and play in the dirt like the other kids.

I love when someone hits the ball because unlike in a baseball game where one fielder gets the ball, every last kid runs to get the ball and fights over who gets the ball. Usually whoever gets it holds it up like the won something. By the second time we were in the field, there was one kid who got that you had to throw the ball to first base.

As we were in the field the second time, with about 3 more batters to go before the game was over, Ella said to me, “Daddy, I’m cold.” A breeze had picked up and it was getting a bit chilly. “I need a blanket!” I chuckled and said in my best Tom Hanks, “There’s no blankets in t-ball!”

When the game was over, the teams lined up and gave each other high fives. All the team members got a snack and that was that. On the ride home, it became apparent that the game took a lot out of her …

What an absolute JOY to watch her out there.

Practice Makes Perfect

We signed Ella up for T-ball a few weeks back. We got her a helmet, a glove, a bat, some practice balls, shoes and a bag to carry it all. She’s been pretty pumped up about it. She finally had her first practice today.

The worst thing about working when I do is that a lot of the activities happen when I am at work. I have rearranged my schedule a bit so that I can see a game a week (they play 2) and not have to use personal time off. Sam went with her to practice.

The first thing she texted me was that she is the only girl on the team. I really hope that this won’t bother her. She can be anyone’s friend, but I also know how cruel some kids can be. We hope that this will be a sport she likes to play and will continue in the future.

I coached my two older boys with both T-ball and baseball for as long as they played. I was not a good coach, but I certainly enjoyed being there with them. They seemed to have fun, even though they didn’t play long.

This week, I will be playing catch with her and helping her with batting. I am excited for the first game in a couple weeks…

If You Give A Boy A Baseball

With the baseball season in full swing, and my daughter getting ready to start T-ball, I was reminded of those great days when I helped coach my two oldest boys. I was not the best coach, that is for sure, but we had fun. I coached T-ball, coach pitched, and player pitched teams. Eventually, my boys decided that it wasn’t for them.

Now with Ella and Andrew, I hope that they enjoy the game like I do. With my schedule I won’t be able to coach, but I have already put a plan in place to be able to see some of her games. I cannot wait to start playing catch with them.

I found this poem online and have no idea who wrote it, but I love it. It is about a boy, but I know plenty of girls who love the game, too, so it can easily apply to a girl as well.

If You Give a Boy a Baseball

If you give a boy a baseball, he will want a bat to go with it.

You’ll buy the best bat you can find, and then he will probably want a bucket of balls and a glove and some cleats too.

When he realizes he can’t carry all these things with his own two hands, he will want a bat bag.

Then he will want to spend hours begging you to go out in the yard to play with him even though you just want to sit on the couch and watch TV. He will insist. And his insistence will win!

When you go out in the yard to hit, pitch, throw, and catch. He will not want to go back in the house for dinner and will swear that even at dusk there is enough light to continue playing!

Next the backyard will get too small and he will want to go the baseball field to see how far he can hit and throw. Finally he learns to catch and then he wants friends to play with.

When a boy gets a jersey, he will want pants and socks and a belt and a hat to go with it! And a TEAM!!!

Then life as you know it will end!

There will be no more lazy weekends. You will see more sunrises than you ever thought possible! Every spare minute of your time will be spent hauling buckets, bags, stinky cleats, and crazy boys all over tarnation for practice and games. Your house will be a mess, and your car will be dirty.

All because you gave a boy a baseball!

Your weekends will be spent freezing in the cold or burning in the hot summer sun in a lawn chair! His weekends will be spent gaining confidence and friends, learning new skills, and having fun getting dirty. So dirty you will learn a whole new way to do laundry! Like going to the car wash using a pressure washer!

You will be there the day he has his first strikeout, double play and hits his first home run! And he will make you so proud. The other parents will congratulate you. But you feel weird saying thank you because it’s not you at bat or on the mound. It’s all him . . . He did this.

His smile will grow bigger and bigger! And each year that he plays with that baseball, he will get better and better. And his love for the game, and confidence in himself will grow right along with his jersey size!

Right before your eyes, your little boy will be transformed from the baby who spun around with his head on the bat, (because he loves attention), into a pitcher. Because he still loves attention.
Then he might try to be a catcher, outfielder or infielder because baseball teaches him he can be anything he wants!

When you give a boy a baseball, you give him more than just a ball. You give him a sport, and a talent, and hope, and dreams, and friends, a new family, a place to learn about life, room to grow as a person where he can push his limits, and bravery, and courage and life, and memories. He will have all of these things, simply because you gave a boy a baseball.

Because you gave a boy a baseball, you too will develop new/lifelong friendships, developed solely from the same passion for the game and love of your team. You will cheer together, all because you gave a boy a baseball.

Then one day, many years from today . . . he will be in his room and a baseball will roll out from an old dusty bat bag underneath his bed. And he will pick it up and realize instantly that when you gave that boy a baseball, you also gave him a childhood that he would never forget! Then he will hug you, and your eyes may leak – because you realize that everything YOU gave up along the way . . . was worth it!

All because you gave a boy a baseball!

Tomorrow – You’re Only A Day Away

I am really looking forward to tomorrow. It’s a pretty big day.

As I write this, my daughter Ella is heading to bed as a three year old, but will wake up as a four year old. Over the past week, my Facebook memories have been loaded with posts from 4 years ago wondering when she was going to make her debut into the world. I feel like it truly was yesterday that she was born.

This afternoon, Sam took her to the party store to pick out her “theme.” She wanted Barbie stuff. We have Barbie plates, napkins, banners, and table cloths. Nana was requested to make a Barbie cake for her birthday. Sam sent me a photo of it – truly amazing!

She is going to love it!!!

We are going to spend the day at the museum, go to Nana’s for cake and ice cream and finally, we are heading to the Daddy/Daughter Dance.

When she found out the dance was on her birthday, she was super excited. I am, too! She has a beautiful dress with light pastel colors on it.

I have a light blue dress shirt and I think I have a pink tie somewhere.

Last year we had such fun. The theme is Candyland. I can’t wait to spend the evening with my baby girl!

It doesn’t seem possible that she is turning four! My wife had me sign her up for T-ball tonight. Looks like I’m going to be taking some time off to be at those games this summer!

Daddy’s Little Girl

The past 16 weeks have been very exciting for Sam and me. It has been especially nice to have this blog as a place that I can write things down and look back on later. My last blog told of the ultrasound, finding out the baby’s gender, and how we shared the news. I am writing today’s blog because something was missing from my last one – I’ll explain in just a minute.

First, let me say that we are overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and congratulations we have received from our friends and family. It was fun to tease that a gender reveal was coming and watch friends post their guesses on Facebook. I was reminded how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends as they sent private messages, texts, and called with congratulations. Thank you all!

So what was missing from the last blog? It was a lengthy blog, so what could I have possibly left out? Sam pointed out that I had certainly written about a lot of things that happened over the weekend, however, I really never said much about how I felt. I shared about watching the ultrasound, how I told my dad and the boys, but how do I feel about it? What am I feeling? I don’t know that I can put it all into words, but I will try.

Elation. Joy. Excitement. Delight. Jubilation.

I mean, how can I NOT feel these things!? I was told that there was only a 4% chance of me being able to have a baby, and then, the amazing news that we are having a baby – well, that makes you pretty damn happy! I’ve been given the opportunity to be a dad again – and this time, I’m having a little girl!

Over the years, I have been an uncle to many nieces, and have loved every minute of it. I have danced around in a princess crown for them, gone to Peppa Pig World, read girly bedtime stories, and made puppet monkeys talk. Having a daughter takes things to a whole new level!

First girl

I had always hoped that when I had children that I would have one of each. I wanted a boy to play sports with and a girl to walk down the aisle. I was blessed with two amazing sons, who I loved playing catch with. I love those boys with all that I am. I was NEVER unhappy that I had boys. They each have very distinct personalities. They are both very smart. As I look at all they have accomplished, I beam with great pride. I am honored to have been chosen to be their dad!!

12 years later, after many changes in my life, I am once again about to become a father. This time, I will be “daddy” to a little girl. What a great responsibility this is! I will not lie about this – as happy as I am, I am also scared as hell!!!

Scary things

Boys could get away with 2 or 3 pairs of pants. All you really needed were a bunch of shirts and you could be set. Girls are different! They need pants, shirts, leggings, shoes, and many, many dresses!

I hope Sam knows that she will probably be picking out most of the clothes! I have a feeling what I think is “cute” really isn’t!

Have you seen the Xfinity commercial where the girl is dressing up her dad??

I would TOTALLY let my daughter do this! Now, if I have to do nails or makeup, I have this awful feeling that it will look something like this guy! I have never had to paint nails before. I don’t know how to put on eyeliner, blush, or any type of makeup. I will definitely need a crash course!!!

Let’s not even talk about her hair! I used to do my own hair, and now I am bald! How on earth am I going to be able to do her hair? With the boys, I brushed it, combed it, or parted it. This isn’t how it works with girls!! Have you seen the gazillion ways to braid hair?!

There is this:

And this:

The braid is hard enough!! I gotta make a heart, too?!? The pressure is unreal!!!!

Then there is play time. Very different from boys. I have never EVER hosted a tea party …

Whew! I’m glad there is a book!!!

Another scary thing is diaper changes.

It’s a whole new ball game for me! It’s been some time since I changed diapers, and I know it will all come back to me … this time, however, the parts are different!!

Then there is GLITTER! Man, I really hate glitter! It stays with you for years! LOL

Sports

Sam asked what sports I thought our daughter should do. Me, being a guy, thought about what I had already done with the boys. Hey, girls, do these things!!!

T-Ball – How cool are pink bats and gloves??!!

Bowling – Some of the high school’s have girl bowling teams! I gotta tell you, these gals bowled better than some of the guys I bowled with over the years!

Golf – I knew a gal who golfed for the high school team. She was pretty amazing! How good was she? I never golfed with her, because I knew she’d beat the hell out of me! Golf, like bowling, had scholarships, too, so why not?!

Sam must have thought I was crazy! She said that she was thinking about gymnastics – which after she said it, made total sense! Of course, our girl could do gymnastics! I can see her at the Olympics! Our little gold medal winner! Of course, I won’t let this guy teach her …. this doesn’t look right ….

One of the things I can see her doing is dance. My nieces do dance now. Whether it is ballet or just dance in general, I can totally see our daughter doing it.

Sam has already warned me that girls in dance class have to have many outfit changes. Tutus, ballet slippers, tap shoes, bows, leotards, and more! Yeah, I’ll be out in the audience doing all the moves with her (minus the leotards).

In all seriousness

I won’t lie, raising a child in the world today is very scary. Hell, it was scary before my oldest was born (9/11 happened just 7 months before he was born)! As a father, I know that my daughter will be looking to me for many things. I hope that she sees me as her hero!

I hope she will see me as her protector and as someone she can always trust. I hope she will feel comfortable to share what ever is on her mind, and come to me for advice. I cannot wait to share that special bond and special love that a daughter and dad have.

Things I am looking forward to

Her first cry
Her first photo shoot
Her first words
Her first tooth
Her first steps
Holding her in my arms
Singing her to sleep
Hugging her
Piggy back rides on my shoulders

Reading bedtime stories
Holding hands
Buying her whatever she wants (Sam says she’s hiding the checkbook)

The list goes on and on.

So am I feeling?

I am overjoyed! I am ecstatic! I could not be happier that I am going to be a dad again!!

I am also scared. I worry. I am told this is natural.

I am nervous. I don’t want to fail or disappoint.

I am anxious. I look forward to all the firsts, all the accomplishments, and milestones.

Final Thought

Over the past 30 years, I have DJ’s thousands of weddings and hundreds of Daddy/Daughter dances! At weddings, I have watched countless times as two special people shared their moment in the spotlight. At Daddy/Daughter dances, I have watched dads wonder just what their little girl is screaming about when Justin Beiber or Taylor Swift start playing. I have then watched as they finally get a slow song to dance with their little girl.

As a father of boys, I never understood the bond or the feelings involved with those dances. I know I have a few years yet, but time will fly and soon enough I will be able to relate to those dads I have watched over the years. To say I am excited as I look forward to that first dance … is quite an understatement.