Friday Photo Flashback

There is plenty to dislike about social media. I know many people who have deleted accounts because of things like political posts, advertisements, censorship of their posts and stuff like that. I, on the other hand, really enjoy social media.

One of the reasons I love it is that I get to share in the excitement of my friends as they post first/last day of school photos, birthday and anniversary posts, as well as achievement and event posts for their children. As another school year winds down, there have been plenty of senior pictures, photos of last concerts, last ball games, club banquets, and this week a whole lot of prom pictures.

I remember my prom night like it was yesterday, despite having very few pictures from the evening. It is not because I didn’t take any, we certainly did. We even had professional ones taken. The problem is that they … let me say “disappeared.” I have a feeling a certain someone from my past decided to MAKE them disappear. She never cared that I was still friends with my date’s family.

I was lucky enough to stumble on one prom picture among a pile of photos I have in a box. I have to chuckle a bit as I look at my younger self.

The gal standing next to me was my date – Karen. She was the same age as my younger brother (A freshman). I knew her older sister really well as she was a year younger than me. For some reason, in our marching band parade set up, they put her next to me. She played flute and I played trumpet. I never understood why, but I’m glad she was there.

Throughout the marching band season, we chatted a lot. We made each other laugh and I genuinely enjoyed being with her. I don’t recall when I decided to ask her to prom, but I did and she said yes. I remember her asking if I was serious about taking her. I assured her I was. I am sure that her folks must have had a lot of reservations about a senior taking their freshman daughter to the prom!

My buddy Joe and I got a limo for the night, but only for after the prom. If I remember right, my dad drove us all there. It was at this beautiful golf course. I’m sure we danced, but I think we walked around the grounds a bit, too. After the prom, we drove around until all hours of the night. We had nowhere to go, but we drove around Detroit, along the water on Jefferson Avenue, I think we went over the Ambassador Bridge, we just drove around.

When I look at the picture above, I laugh at the fact that I had to have tails, a top hat, gloves and a cane! Could I look any more ridiculous!? Karen’s mother made her dress and I remember having to know what color it was to make sure my tie and cummerbund matched it. I remember how stunning she looked and being so excited to be taking her to the prom.

She may never read this, but if she does, she can correct me if I am wrong, but I believe when we decided to go to the prom it was an agreement that we were going just as friends. I am sure that is what both of us had in mind. As we drove around in the limo and talked, I noticed that Joe and his date had both fallen asleep. I do not recall if I had held her hand prior to this or not. What I am sure about is that when I took her hand in mine she didn’t push it away, and we held hands for some time.

At some point, we sat close to each other and just kind of held each other. My 18 year old heart was probably beating through my chest. I was single at the time and I really truly enjoyed her company. She had become a wonderful friend and I liked being with her. I’d like to believe that the first kiss we shared was a magnetic sort of thing that we both eased into, but I’m sure I was the one who instigated it. It was a pretty amazing moment and I kept hoping that our limo-mates would not wake up, so we could keep kissing.

It is sad to say, but I don’t remember if the limo dropped us off at Joe’s house and I took her home or if the limo took her home. What I do remember is thinking about her all night and well into the next day. At some point we decided to date and we did for some time after that.

She will always be a special friend to me and her family is like family. I have fond memories of that day, the dance, our relationship, and her family. I was lucky enough to DJ some of their family events and even officiated her older sister’s wedding.

They say every decision you make leads to an outcome. This was sort of the plot of the book the Midnight Library by Matt Haig. As a senior, I remember not really wanting to go to prom. It was the most expensive dance after all. Then there was the cost of a tux and such. I was barely making any money at the time, so I really was set on not going. The more she and I talked and laughed, the more I thought about asking her to go. I almost didn’t ask. I’m glad I did, though.

Book Recommendation: How To Stop Time

Less than two weeks ago, I posted a blog about a book I read called The Midnight Library. I really enjoyed it. You can read that blog here:

Another Good Read – The Midnight Library

That was the first book I read by author Matt Haig, and it made me want to find other books by him that I might find just as good. So I went to the library website and found one. I’ve always been a big fan of time travel stuff, so the name of one book stuck out – “How to Stop Time.” While this isn’t a true time travel story in the sense of going back in time or forward in time, I found the premise interesting and ordered it.

Amazon and Good Reads both have this synopsis:

Tom Hazard has just moved back to London, his old home, to settle down and become a high school history teacher. And on his first day at school, he meets a captivating French teacher at his school who seems fascinated by him. But Tom has a dangerous secret. He may look like an ordinary 41-year-old, but owing to a rare condition, he’s been alive for centuries. Tom has lived history–performing with Shakespeare, exploring the high seas with Captain Cook, and sharing cocktails with F. Scott Fitzgerald. Now, he just wants an ordinary life.

Unfortunately for Tom, the Albatross Society, the secretive group which protects people like Tom, has one rule: Never fall in love. As painful memories of his past and the erratic behavior of the Society’s watchful leader threaten to derail his new life and romance, the one thing he can’t have just happens to be the one thing that might save him. Tom will have to decide once and for all whether to remain stuck in the past, or finally begin living in the present.

How to Stop Time tells a love story across the ages—and for the ages—about a man lost in time, the woman who could save him, and the lifetimes it can take to learn how to live. It is a bighearted, wildly original novel about losing and finding yourself, the inevitability of change, and how with enough time to learn, we just might find happiness.

One review I read said, “How To Stop Time plays like a meditation on the tick and tock of time and mortality. On the preciousness of every moment and the nightmare of having both too few and too many.” I thought this really hit the nail on the head.

Is it a love story? To a degree, yes, but it is more than that. It was another Haig book that I couldn’t put down and finished in two days. There were some slow parts, but all in all, it was a good read. There is talk that Benedict Cumberbatch is going to make a film based on this book.

People always are talking about living forever, but is that really something you’d want to do? Following Tom’s story and the highs and lows of being alive for so long will make you really think about how you want to answer that question.

Another Good Read – The Midnight Library

I literally finished this book in a day and half. I really found it to be thought provoking, and at the same time it was based on something I have always believed.

I have said on here before that I am who I am today because of all I have been through. Every decision I have ever made has brought me to this point. I found a chart that illustrates what I mean. Pay no attention to the words on it, but look at the various “flow”.

You face a decision. You make a decision and that sets you off on one path (or chain). If you had made a different decision, you would set off on a different path (or chain). Perhaps those paths would cross or intersect occasionally. It is also possible that you might wind up in the same place at the end, who knows? The point is that in our life time, we make millions of decisions and each decision will lead to millions or billions of outcomes. That is sort of the premise of the book.

Synopsis from goodreads:

Between life and death there is a library, and within that library, the shelves go on forever. Every book provides a chance to try another life you could have lived. To see how things would be if you had made other choices . . . Would you have done anything different, if you had the chance to undo your regrets? A novel about all the choices that go into a life well lived.

Somewhere out beyond the edge of the universe there is a library that contains an infinite number of books, each one the story of another reality. One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? Would any of these other lives truly be better?

Nora Seed finds herself faced with this decision. Faced with the possibility of changing her life for a new one, following a different career, undoing old breakups, realizing her dreams of becoming a glaciologist; she must search within herself as she travels through the Midnight Library to decide what is truly fulfilling in life, and what makes it worth living in the first place.

Barnes and Noble says this:

If you were presented with the opportunity to go back in time and change your life, would you? Matt Haig ponders this question in The Midnight Library, a story that follows Nora Seed as she is given a chance to redo her life. Hopeful and thought-provoking, this novel will change your perspective on your own life.

fourminutebooks.com says:

The Midnight Library is a beautiful book with a clever concept, masterfully executed by Matt Haig. It is easy to read, full of great quotes, smart references, and even some poems and lyrics Nora wrote in her other lives. The book draws from many genres and will make you think deeply, not just about the lives you could lead, but also about the one you do. A magnificent thought experiment with a wonderful conclusion.

My Thoughts

When I saw this book on a “recommendation list,” I read the above descriptions. I felt that I could relate to the basic premise, especially because of my thoughts on who I am today and how the various decisions I made in life got me here. From the moment I began the book, I was hooked.

The story follows Nora Seed, a British woman in her mid-30s, who is deeply depressed. One night, she decides to commit suicide, but the overdose of sleeping pills sends her into a library between life and death. As time stands still, Nora gets to sample countless lives she could have lived.

This also hit home to me as I was once at the same point as Nora. Granted, I never got the point of actually attempting suicide, but my thoughts were certainly there. I remember thinking how no one would miss me if I was gone. I recall believing that I was more of a burden to people than anything. I was feeling so much depression and unhappiness, I didn’t think I would ever get out of that.

Spoiler Alert (sort of)

One review of the book offered these three lessons learned from the book:

You could live a million lives and still not be satisfied.
Your “best” life may still not be the right one for you to go through.
Life won’t always give you an explanation, so just go on living.

Final Thoughts

The book was an easy read, yet at the same time made me think. This is the first book by Matt Haig I have ever read, but I think I may have to check out what else he has to offer. I think you will enjoy it if you give it a read.