Today is a day to celebrate the Disc Jockey. I was lucky enough to be both a radio DJ and a Mobile DJ. I have mobile DJ stories, but they aren’t as interesting as my radio DJ stories. This is an adaption of an earlier blog. If you are a newer follower, these will be new to you. If you’ve been around since the inception of this blog, enjoy these again.

In my over 30 year radio career, I have (like all of my radio friends) a gazillion stories. There are some that I just can’t share here. But, here are some that I’ll share off the top of my head. I am sure there are plenty more, but for now – enjoy these:

WKSG –

My career started here. I was a lowly intern ripping news and sorting it. I then started to intern with Paul Christy, the morning guy. He eventually was responsible for me doing overnights full time.

Keith Who?

I only used my real name once in my entire career – and almost didn’t. Every hour at the top of the hour we had to play our Legal ID. The FCC requires the station to identify itself and where the signal originates from. Our Legal ID had was what we called a “donut” in the middle of it. The voice guy gave the station slogan, followed by the Station ID. After that there was a 2-3 music bed where the DJ would say what time it was and their name. I’d heard it a hundred times. “It’s 10 O’clock and I’m Jim McKenzie”, “It’s 3 O’clock and I’m John Bailey”, “It’s 7 O’clock and I’m Johnny Molson” – every jock did it. My first night ever on the air, I hadn’t decided what name I was going to use yet. The ID played and I had no choice – “It’s midnight and I’m … (brain fart – and real name)”. I really had no intentions of using my real name, I just hadn’t decided on my on air name yet. A gal I went to high school with was listening that night. I remember her calling and asking if I was Keith (real name). It freaked me out. She told me that she heard my that first night and thought that I had said my real name. I used Keith Allen every day after that and have never been anyone else.

Thinking Inside the Box

Speaking of those live ID’s, Johnny Molson was on before me each night. It seemed that he and his crew always were trying to mess with me when the ID played. They would make weird noises, bang on cart racks, or knock over my music stack. They would do all kinds of things to try to get me to mess up when I turned on the microphone. . Sometimes they’d get me to crack up and sometimes I was able to keep it together.

One night, the time was ticking away to the ID and they were all out of the studio. The ID started and I heard the studio door behind me open fast. They had found a huge box and as I started to talk, they threw it over my head. My hands, thankfully, were still by the mixer board so I could see what button I had to push next. I didn’t know what to do, so I just continued to talk with the box was over my head. Listeners heard nothing but a muffled voice and the music bed. Johnny was cracking up the whole time. He told me, “I can’t believe you just kept going”!

Saturday Snooze

At one point during my time at Kiss-FM, I was doing Friday night and Saturday mornings. This consisted of me being on air from 12a-6a doing my own show. Then running Paul Christy’s show on tape from 6a-10a.

I don’t recall why I hadn’t slept much the day prior, but I was tired. I finished my show at 6. I got about an hour into Paul’s show, and I was feeling exhausted. I had started a song, put my elbows up on the board, my fists to my cheeks, and nodded off. About 20-25 minutes later, my head fell from my hands and I was startled awake. I had no idea where I was. The phones were all lit up, and nothing was on the air!

In a panic, I grabbed the first song on the music stack and jammed it into the machine. Fittingly, the song was “You’ve Got Your Troubles” by the Fortunes. Once the music started, the phones stopped ringing. I, however, knew that Paul was always listening! I dreaded the call that I knew was coming. I was sure to get fired for messing up his show! 10 minutes later the “PC hotline rang”.

I answered it and as usual, Paul was chomping on something (he was always eating when he called). “How’s it going?”, he asked. There was no way he didn’t hear the silence! He had to have heard it, I knew he did. Why wasn’t he saying anything? I finally blurted out that I had fallen asleep for a couple minutes and awaited the verbal beating. Nope. Not Paul. He laughed and said, “You Asshole! I remember this one time I fell asleep while I was at Super CFL in Chicago….” and told me his sleepy story. That was the kind of guy Paul was … a damn cool dude!

Hot Java

One more Paul story for you. He drank coffee all throughout his shift. He liked it black and hot! One time he had Vince, a morning show member, get him some coffee. It sat next to him for awhile while he was doing other things. He finally grabbed it and took a sip. He was disgusted.

He yelled, “What the hell is the matter with you guys?! You call this hot coffee?! I could piss warmer than this!! Get me some fresh stuff and make sure it is hot!” So Vince went to the coffee pot, filled the cup and then put it in the microwave for about 2 …or 10 minutes. I don’t remember, but it was in there for a good while. He took the steaming cup to Paul. Well, rather than setting it down as he normally did, put it to his lips and took a sip. Needless to say, it burned the hell out of his tongue and lips! Paul yelped, “Jesus! What is wrong with you?!” Holding his tongue in pain, he continued, “I use this thing for a living!!” I think every one of us broke a rib laughing so hard. I can still see him holding his tongue with one hand and fanning it with the other!

WMXD

I followed Paul here to do some part time work after being let go from Kiss-FM. The format started as a mix of Urban/R&B music and Pop. Eventually it went all R&B and Urban. It was here that I met The Electrifying Mojo.

Keef

I had known of Mojo for years. He was a Detroit legend. He had this mysterious persona on t he air. I don’t know that there were any photos of him anywhere. So when I saw him for the first time, I was taken aback. He was much shorter than I had imagined.

I have to say, Mojo was one cool dude. He played most of his stuff off vinyl records. The thing I remember most about Mojo was that the studio was always like a sauna! It was always SO hot when I came in. I don’t know how he was able to work with it that hot.

The studio was always a mess, too! Not garbage messy, but music messy. There were always vinyl records all over the studio. He’d have them stacked on the reel to reel tape machine or on the counter tops. Sometimes, there were stacks of them on the floor of the studio. With the records everywhere, it was hard for me to get in and gather the first hour of music for my show. You could barely move in the studio.

He always called me “Keef” or “Baby Keef” when he got ready to wrap up his show. He had a signature line that he always said at the end of his show:

“Hold on tight. Don’t let go. Whenever you feel like you are reaching the end of your rope – tie a knot. Don’t slide off. Keep hanging. Keep remembering that there ain’t nobody bad like you.”

I had heard him say this on the radio many times, but to watch him say it live in the studio … I was in awe.

WHND

Honey Radio! I grew up listening to this station and I was honored to have the chance to work with radio legends! Richard D, Jon Ray, Boogie Brian, Ron Tavernit, Bill Stewart, Greg Russell, and so many others were such an influence. Honey was the first oldies station in the country – and I got to be there as they turned out the light…..

Worst Five Minutes of Detroit Radio – EVER

You can read all about my buddy Rob in a previous blog. I am not sure if I tell this story in that blog or not, so I apologize if I did. It was the last week Honey was on the air – the week of Thanksgiving 1994. Our listeners knew that this was Honey’s last week and we had been given free reign to have fun.

We had a listener who used to call up and his name was Mitchell. I had gotten to the point where I could do his voice pretty well. I had been doing a character based on the real listener and I called him “Mitch”. True story – Mitch would call and talk to us and really never have anything to say. He’s jump from topic to topic. If you let him, he’d never stop talking. So I decided to prerecord some calls as Mitch where I just rambled about nothing and then hung up. Afterward, we’d say something like “He’s a nice guy, but ….” kind of a thing. It was ridiculous.

So now it’s the last week we are on the air. It had become clear that some people were upset the station was going off the air. They were calling us in the studio and calling the managers to voice their anger. I said to Rob, “I bet Mitchell is really angry about the station.” He said, “They better lock the doors, man. That guy is likely to come in here with a gun or something. That was the idea. So we planned a bit.

I was going to do the character live on the air. I was going to come in and say how upset I was the station was going off the air. I would yell and scream and (using the theater of the mind) pull out a gun and start shooting it (keep in mind this was 1994 and public shootings were not as prominent). At this point in the bit, our bouncer character (loosely based on Charles Bronson) was going to come in and grab the gun. He would then beat up “Mitch” and throw him out the studio window. To accomplish the bit we needed sound effects (to make it sound real on the air).

To help you understand what happens next, here is a picture of a studio. It is not the WHND studio, but the Cart machines in the picture are like the ones there.

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If you look at the left side of the picture, you will see the machines above the headphones. There are three machines on the left, a stack of carts in the middle and three machines on the right. At Honey, the machines went like this:

1 4

2 5

3 6

Ok, now to the mess.

We had these 6 cart machines and every song, commercial, or sound effect was on its own cart. So in cart player #1 was the song we just played. Cart #2 had the door closing sound effect for when Mitch comes in. Cart #3 holds the gunshot sound. Cart #4 is the “fight scene” – the sound of two guys beating each other up. Cart #5 is where the sound of glass breaking (the studio window) for when Mitch gets tossed out . Finally, Cart #6 had our first commercial.

The plan was that after Mitch was thrown out the window, we would go to a commercial break. I would have already put the commercial we were going to play first in Cart player 1. Once the glass breaks and we wrap up the bit, go to commercial and proceeded with the show. That however, is NOT how it happened on the air.

As soon as I began to do the character live on the air, I saw Rob crack a smile. That is all it took. Seeing him smile made me start to laugh hard. As his Elvis character, Rob tries to save the bit. So I once again try to do the “Mitch” character – which only made me laugh harder. By this point we are both laughing so hard that we have tears in our eyes. Rob, as Elvis, says “That takes care of that bit, man!”

Because we are totally losing it on the air, my first thought is PLAY THE COMMERCIAL! I go to start the commercial, but the commercial never made it to the machine! So the button I pushed was the gunshot sound effect, which only made us laugh harder….you hear us dropping carts and shoving the commercial in the machine and finally we went to commercials. I have often called this the worst 5 minutes of Detroit radio. To me it is also the funniest 5 minutes of our show.

Update: I found the Audio and made a YouTube Video:

My apologies ahead of time …

Becoming The President

The late Richard D was one of the funniest men I ever worked with. He gave me lots of direction and I have talked about him in previous blogs, as well. I was producing his show the Top 12 at 12. This was an hour of his show which featured the Top 12 songs in Detroit on that day. They found those 12 songs from local charts from radio stations and newspapers. Each day featured a different year.

It was a fun show to produce. It included new stories, TV and movie clips, old commercials, info about how much things were from that year, etc… Richard had to play that day’s 12 songs from the chart. Every now and then there was extra time because of short songs. We would then give him songs that were on the charts from that week to play as “extras.” Usually it was a song that was just being released or had been a hit earlier in that year.

On one show, the countdown was from 1966. I had put a Dean Martin song in there as an extra and he played it. After the song, he made some comment about it not being the greatest song or something and moved on. So I went into the studio, as I often did, to give him crap. I said something along the lines of “Why are you messing with Italians! Dean was Italian and so I am I! Look here you “old bastid (a term of endearment), If I were you, I’d watch what you say about Dean Martin … and Frank Sinatra for that matter!” The whole time he laughed. I left the room as he continued to laugh hysterically.

I thought that would be the end of it, but Richard loved an opportunity to make me the butt of a joke. After the next song he said on the air, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I must offer an apology. A little while ago I played (whatever the song was) by Dean Martin and made some negative remarks about it. Immediately after that, Keith Allen came in here with about 12 goons who roughed me up a bit and told me that my comments were distasteful. So I must now publicly apologize. I really had no idea that Keith Allen was the President of the Dean Martin Fan Club!”

From that day on, I always tried to find a way to sneak a Dean Martin song into my show. After each of those songs I would say I was President of the Dean Martin Fan Club.

Related side story

When Honey went off the air, I received a package from a listener named Sandy. She and I remain friends with to this day. The package was a complete surprise and it was awesome. Sandy had sent me a membership to the REAL Dean Martin Fan Club! To make things even better, there was a note in the package. It read: “I thought you might actually want to be a member of the Fan Club you claim to be President of….”

The Sign Off

For years I listened to Boogie Brian rhyme as he talked up song intros until he nailed the post (where the vocalist starts to sing). He would do this with no effort at all. His energy was constant and the smile in his voice was ever present – until November 25, 1994. That was the day Honey stopped broadcasting locally before eventually signing off. My partner Rob and I were listening to his sign off from the other room. The day had already been full of listeners wishing us well and many tears were shed. The biggest tears came as Boogie signed off that day. A powerful memory that I will never forget.

WWWW

My Worst Prediction

In 1994, I had just come back from working on the west side of the state. It was there that I did country radio for the first time. After I was hired at W4 Country, there was a change in management. The new PD, Tim Roberts, would take the chair and offer some advice that I still use today. Every year, Tim was responsible for booking acts to the Downtown Hoedown. It was a huge three day festival with many stages and many acts. At the time took place in Hart Plaza in Detroit.

We worked at the Hoedown in shifts as I recall and mine was over. I was waiting in the blue W4 Country Suburban to go back to the station with Tim Timmerman. The Dixie Chicks were an up and coming act who had a very traditional sound. Their music was really not like anything on the radio at the time. While I loved it, I didn’t think it would do as well as it did. Tim looked out the window of the Suburban and said “Dude, it’s the Dixie Chicks! We should go get a picture!” I was exhausted and I told him that he could go if he wanted to. I then said something about them being way too traditional and that “they probably won’t go anywhere”. Boy, was I wrong! There’s an opportunity I missed and regret to this day!

Thanks for reading, it’s always fun to share radio stories. There are plenty of my DJ Heroes mentioned above, too. That’s fitting for National DJ Day!