Friday Photo Flashback

Every once in a while I find a photo that makes me laugh more than it should. Here is an example.

I am guessing that this was at a wedding or a holiday party I was DJing. The black LED curtain behind me was something a friend let me experiment with. It was pretty cool, as you could program it to do a variety of things. I used it at many holiday parties and had it programmed to look like snowflakes were falling behind me.

I had a box of hats that I brought to every gig. The box started with the hats that the members of the Village People wore: cowboy hat, hard hat, biker hat, sailor hat, Indian head dress, and police hat. When I played YMCA, I’d get the groomsmen to line up in front of the DJ stand and each put on a hat. When the wedding parties started to get bigger, I needed additional hats. So in the box was a pilot hat, a baseball cap, football helmet, train engineer hat, and the pimp hat seen above.

I haven’t a clue why I have it on here, but the look on my face and the addition of the hat just make me laugh out loud. I hope it made you chuckle a bit, too.

The Music of My Life – 1978

Welcome back to The Music of My Life, where I feature ten songs from each year of my life.  In most cases, the ten songs I choose will be ones I like personally (unless I explain otherwise). The songs will be selected from Billboard’s Year-end Hot 100 Chart, Acclaimed Music, and will all be released in the featured year. I turned 8 years old in ’78 and much like in ’77, there is an interesting mix of tunes.

In January of 1978, Kansas released a song that was what Steve Walsh said, “defies the basic formulas that most (rock) groups try to follow,” and it paid off in spades! Dust in the Wind has one of the greatest guitar intros! The story of how it came to be is fantastic.

Kerry Livgren devised what would be the guitar line for “Dust in the Wind” as a finger exercise for learning “fingerpicking.” His wife, Vicci, heard what he was doing, remarked that the melody was nice, and encouraged him to write lyrics for it. Livgren was unsure whether his fellow band members would like it, after all, it was a departure from their signature style. After Kansas had rehearsed all the songs intended for the band’s recording sessions of June and July 1976, Livgren played “Dust in the Wind” for his bandmates, who after a moment’s “stunned silence” asked: “Kerry, where has this been? That is our next single!”

Dust in the Wind

In February of 1978, a song that will forever be associated with a geriatric sitcom was released. Even though Andrew Gold’s version was not the version used as the Theme to the Golden Girls, the song was (A jingle singer named Cynthia Fee sang the TV version). It is one of my ten picks because there are so many female friends that love the show. My wife is a big fan of the show as well, so here it is.

Andrew Gold says that the song was “just this little throwaway thing” that took him “about an hour to write.” Writing is was obviously a breeze, however, recording it was a different story. They recorded 40 different takes of the song, finally releasing take number 40!

If you listen closely, you can hear sleigh bells in the instrumentation of the song.

Thank You For Being a Friend

In March of 1978, the great Warren Zevon released what some call a Halloween classic, even though it was intended to inspire a dance craze. Phil Everly of the Everly Brothers had seen the 1935 film, Werewolf of London on TV and joked to Zevon that he should adapt the title for a song and new dance. He played with the idea with his band members, who wrote the song together in about 15 minutes, all contributing lyrics that were transcribed by Zevon’s wife Crystal. However, none of them took the song seriously.

The song had been written long before it was recorded. It finally appeared on Warren’s third album, Excitable Boy, which was produced by Jackson Browne (who had already been performing the song at shows.) Although 59 takes were recorded, Browne and Zevon selected the second take for the final mix. The record label really pushed for Werewolves to be a single, but Zevon liked a couple other songs. The label released it and it became Warren’s only top 40 hit.

Werewolves of London

Three of my picks from 1978, all were released in my birthday month of May. The first one is by a group that was lucky enough to get a radio station to play a demo of one of their songs on air – and have it lead to a record deal. As a former radio guy, let me tell you, that just does not happen! It did, however, for the Cars.

Just What I Needed was written by Ric Ocasek. The band recorded a two track demo of the song and My Best Friend’s Girl. In Boston, in 1977, DJ Maxanne Sartori, who was given the tapes of these songs by Ocasek, recalled, “I began playing the demos of ‘Just What I Needed’ and ‘My Best Friend’s Girl’ in March during my weekday slot, from 2 to 6 p.m. Calls poured in with positive comments.” With a song on the radio in a major market, The Cars were a surefire success and had their pick of record labels. They went with Elektra, who had them re-record the song and released it as their first single.

Benjamin Orr sang lead on the song and it was a top 30 hit for the band.

Just What I Needed

The next May release is a song that will always remind me of shooting pool with my best friend, Jeff. He always picked songs for the jukebox and Life’s Been Good by Joe Walsh was always a pick. We always laughed at the lyrics. Even Walsh says the song was meant to be a humorous look at fame and fortune.

In a 1981 interview with the BBC, Walsh explained: “I wanted to make a statement involving satire and humor, kind of poking fun at the incredibly silly lifestyle that someone in my position is faced with – in other words, I do have a really nice house, but I’m on the road so much that when I come home from a tour, it’s really hard to feel that I even live here. It’s not necessarily me, I think it paraphrases anyone in my position, and I think that’s why a lot of people related to it, but basically, that’s the story of any rock star – I say that humbly – anyone in my position. I thought that was a valid statement, because it is a strange lifestyle – I’ve been around the world in concerts, and people say ‘What was Japan like?’, but I don’t know. It’s got a nice airport, you know… so it was kind of an overall statement.”

The song first appeared on the soundtrack to the movie FM and later on Walsh’s But Seriously, Folks album. The album version is over 8 minutes long, but the radio single clocked in at about 4 and a half minutes. Made after Walsh had joined the Eagles, “Life’s Been Good” was incorporated into that group’s concert repertoire, appearing in shows at the time as well as reunion tours.

Life’s Been Good

The last May 1978 song on my list was one that three years later would hit me a bit more personally – not because of the content of the song, but because of the title. Only the Good Die Young was a top 30 hit for Billy Joel, and as controversial as it was, the attempts to censor the song (or have it banned from radio) only helped it to gain spins and popularity.

Virginia, as mentioned in the first line is a real person. Virginia Callaghan was a girl Billy had a crush on when he first started playing in a band. She didn’t even know he existed until she saw him at a gig, but 13 years later he used her as the main character in this song about a Catholic girl who won’t have premarital sex. In a 2008 interview, Joel also pointed out one part of the lyrics that virtually all the song’s critics missed – the boy in the song failed to get anywhere with the girl, and she kept her chastity.

In 2023, Joel said of the song “It’s occurred to me recently that I’m trying to talk some poor innocent woman into losing her virginity because of my lust. It’s kind of a selfish song – like, who cares what happens to you? What about what I want?… But on the other hand, it was of its time.

In 1981, my grandfather died suddenly of a heart attack. He was only 58. It was the first time I ever experienced death. At the funeral, I would hear people saying nice thing about him, and I often heard, “He was too young,” or “He was a good man.” Yes, he was, and only the good die young …

Only the Good Die Young

Earlier I mentioned how Dust in the Wind was a totally different sound for Kansas, and my next song also was very different for the artist who recorded it. The Commodores were really known for being a funk band, but when Lionel Richie brought them Three Times a Lady, they knew it was going to be a hit.

This was a breakthrough song for the Commodores and for Lionel Richie as a songwriter. It crossed over to pop, easy listening and even country formats, setting the stage for further Commodores hits and Richie’s massive solo success. In a Blues & Soul interview, Richie said: “The song has given me so much personal satisfaction. I think it is every songwriter’s dream to be totally accepted. And from the masses of awards that the song has won, it seems that the whole world really does love that song. It’s a great feeling.”

It entered the Billboard Hot 100 chart on June 18, 1978, at number 73. Eight weeks later, it reached number 1, where it remained for two weeks. It became the Commodores first number one on this chart.

There are two reasons I have this on my list. First, it was one of those songs that was on my mother’s famous red 8-track tape. Lastly, it always reminds me of the first time I saw Eddie Murphy on SNL. He was doing a phony commercial for an album called “Buckwheat Sings” as Buckwheat from the Little Rascals. “Unce. Tice. Fee Tines a Mady!”

Three Times a Lady

For readers of this blog, you know that I have blogged about Willie Nelson’s Stardust album many times. Making a long story short, my grandparent’s place didn’t have a TV at first, so we listened to the radio and two cassette tapes. One of those was Stardust.

In July of 1978, released the song Blue Skies from that album. The song was written by Irving Berlin way back in 1926 and has been covered by many great singers. Those singers include Bobby Darin, Al Jolson, Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, Johnny Rivers and the great Ella Fitzgerald. Willie Nelson took the song to the top of the Billboard Country Chart and crossed over to the Adult Contemporary chart, too (where it peaked at 32).

Blue Skies

In October of 1978, a group of guys released a song that would go on to be named the 7th Greatest Dance Song of the 20th Century by VH1. It is a song that was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 2020 and was selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the National Recording Registry for being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.” Believe it or not, that song was Y.M.C.A. by the Village People.

There is only one reason why it is on my Music of My Life list. If I had a dollar for every time I have played this at a wedding or DJ event, I could probably retire! I am probably on about 100 Facebook pages where videos of me, a groom and his groomsmen are dressed up as the Village People leading the crowd in the dance. It is totally ridiculous, but true.

The song went to number one in countries all over the world, but it only reached number 2 here in the US. It continues to be played at parties and sporting events throughout the world.

Y. M. C. A.

I certainly do not want to wrap the year on that song, so instead, I will end with another party classic. I’ll also end with a “feel good song.” How can you NOT love September by Earth, Wind and Fire? The song has a tendency to make people happy when they hear it. Allee Willis, who wrote the song with Maurice White and Al McKay from Earth, Wind & Fire, describes it as “Joyful Music.”

Every year, on September 21st, you will hear this song all over the radio! There are many theories as to the significance of the “21st night of September” in the opening lyrics, and until 2018, even the song’s co-writer was in the dark – Maurice White told her it had no real significance and was chosen because it sang well phonetically. White died in 2016; two years later, Willis was having lunch with his widow, Marilyn, who told her that September 21 was the due date for their son, Kahbran, and that Maurice put that specific date into the song as a secret message. Kahbran ended up being born early on August 1, which definitely wouldn’t have the same ring to it as a lyric.

Although many people hear the first words in the chorus as “Party On,” it’s really “Bah-dee-Ya.” Allee Willis explained in a Songfacts interview: “I absolutely could not deal with lyrics that were nonsensical, or lines that weren’t complete sentences. And I’m exceedingly happy that I lost that attitude. I went, ‘You cannot leave bada-ya in the chorus, that has to mean something.’ Maurice said, ‘No, that feels great. That’s what people are going to remember. We’re leaving it.’ We did try other stuff, and it always sounded clunky – thank God.” She went on to say, “The main lesson I learned from Earth, Wind & Fire, especially Maurice White, was never let a lyric get in the way of a groove,” she added. “Ultimately it’s the feel that is the most important, and someone will feel what you’re saying if those words fit in there right.”

The first appearance of the song was on The Best of Earth, Wind and Fire – Volume 1. It is a great groove that still fills the dance floor!

Next week, we’ll take a look at the final year of the 70’s. 1979 promises to be a good mixture of genres and will feature one of my first television heroes, who starred in a couple TV shows, many movies, and is still popular today.

See you next time in 1979!

A Beautiful Celebration

This weekend was just wonderful! My Goddaughter and her fiancé got married on Saturday. I was honored to be able to DJ the wedding for them.

Before I tell you more, I want to give a little backstory. Just after we rang in the year 2020, and before Covid closed everything, I blogged about my Goddaughter and her mom. I think in order to fully understand what I was feeling this weekend, it is worth revisiting:

January 1, 2020

Today, we met one of my oldest and dearest friends for lunch. Margaret and I have been friends since junior high. We are both Italian. My folks loved her, and her folks loved me. I think they probably both thought that we would date or something, but that never happened. We both went to a few dances together, but that was about as close to “dating” as it got. We were just really good friends and that made us both happy. We were officers in band together, we dressed up as twins for Twin Day, she and I both took a senior picture together, and spent many hours on the phone. She was/is one of my best friends!

When her daughter, Marissa, was born she asked me to be her Godfather. I was honored to do it. A Godfather is a very important role for an Italian. When I got married the first time, sadly, I saw less and less of Margaret and my Goddaughter. Whenever I was supposed to get together with them, I was always informed that we couldn’t go or we had something to do with my ex’s family. (If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you are well aware of the narcissism that I dealt with and how miserable my life had become.)

After the divorce, Margaret was one of the first to reach out to me. She completely understood what was going on. Her forgiveness meant everything to me. I hurt her. I was hurt, too. I lost many years of our friendship, and I lost so many moments with my Goddaughter. After all of that, Margaret (and many other friends) had every right to just stop talking to me, but our friendship meant so much, that we have picked up where we left off.

When I attended my Goddaughter’s 21st birthday party, I pulled her aside and apologized for missing so many important things in her life. How do you explain that to someone? As I looked back on the past, my stomach was in knots. I was sickened to think of how I must have made so many people feel. She didn’t bat an eye, however, and told me she loved me and we all enjoyed a great evening! I remember driving home from her party crying my eyes out. It wasn’t fair to her that I missed so many things. It makes me angry to know that I missed so much, but I am also happy that I can try to make up for lost time with her!

Sam and I were going to see what Margaret and her husband, Walt, were doing on New Year’s Eve and found out she was working that night. So they met us at one of the nearby bars for lunch on New Year’s Day. We enjoyed some amazing burgers, and enjoyed good conversation. There is always a lot of laughter when we get together, story telling with wild hand gestures (it is the Italian in us!) and usually some profanity! It was truly a wonderful afternoon. We hope to be able to do it more often!

During lunch, Margaret said something that struck a chord. It was something that made me sad, and happy at the same time. She said, “I have seen you more and talked to you more in the past two years, that the entire time you were married.” This made me sad, because of what I touched on early – a great friendship almost destroyed as well as the relationship between my Goddaughter and me, all because of the stupidity of someone else. It made me happy to know that our friendship remains and will grow even stronger in the years ahead.

Shortly After That

My daughter Ella was born just over a month later. Margaret and Walt made the drive up to the hospital that night with Olive Garden dinners for Sam and me, and also a ton of soup and breadsticks for the hospital staff on our floor!

Ella loves her Aunt Margaret. Margaret has shown so much love to her and Andrew. Ella thanks God for her every night when she prays. Margaret refers to them as “my babies!” Thanks to technology, they love being able to video chat with her anytime!

Last week, Margaret and I got into one of those deep conversations. The years I missed came up. The deep regret that I hate thinking about . The “What Ifs” and such. We had been talking about my kids. She told me that she had always wanted to do that for my older boys, too! Thanks to my ex, that was never to be. All the hurt I felt about missing time with Marissa and I never really realized just how much hurt Margaret felt about missing time with my boys.

Sigh. On to happier stuff….

September 23, 2023

Saturday, I arrived at the breathtaking tree farm where the wedding was to be held. The first person I saw was the groom to be, Connor. He’s a great guy and I know that he is going to be a great husband. I asked him if he was nervous, and he said he was. Marissa and Connor have been together for 7 years. They are perfect together. I don’t remember what I told him, but I assured him all would go well.

When Marissa arrived, they shuffled Connor into the lodge area so he couldn’t see her. She came over and embraced me for a hug. She didn’t even have her dress on yet, and she was just stunning. We talked a briefly and then she was off to get ready.

I saw Margaret out in front of the lodge as I parked my father-in-law’s truck (which he let me borrow so I could fit everything in it!). She was busy putting out fires on the cell phone and with people at the venue.

It didn’t take me too long to get set up. It was hot, so I was glad I hadn’t arrived in my suit. I went to change and by then, we were about an hour and a half away from the ceremony. The families all came out and the photographers got pictures done before the ceremony, which you don’t see too often. But I get it, the sun was perfect and I know that they got some amazing pictures. I, however, only got two. One of Margaret and me, and the other with Marissa.

The ceremony was just wonderful. I was sitting next to Chris, a mutual friend of Margaret and me. She asked if I was going to need a tissue. I told her probably, but I passed her back the tissue pack. Once Marissa and her dad began walking down the aisle, I could feel those tears well up.

Their officiant knew both of them very well and shared some very funny stories. At the same time, he was very professional. Marissa and Connor each wrote their own vows. They read like a love story. Wow, the looks that they gave each other throughout the ceremony and the sharing of their vows….. It was a powerful example of true love. Again, I held back tears.

I’ve DJ’s many weddings, but this was the first where a grand entrance was timed down to the second! They entered to Natalie Cole’s This Will Be (An Everlasting Love). I had a cue sheet with the time and the lyrics along with the couples that were entering at that time. They had it timed perfectly.

After the grand entrance, Marissa and Connor had put together a dance for their first song. It was such a joy to watch these two execute their moves to perfection. I was glad that a little hiccup that could have meant me not having their song was an easy fix. In all my years doing weddings, this was only the third time the bride and groom had choreographed their first dance. It was beautiful.

It was after this that I saw Margaret become “that Italian mom.” Let me explain. No one had filled the glasses of the head table and when we went to do toasts, there was nothing to toast! They decided to let people eat and they would toast during dinner while someone filled glasses. That someone – was Margaret. She came busting out of the lodge with bottle of wine in each hand. She walked to every person with an empty glass and asked, “White or red?”

She was the first table called to eat after the head table. Yet, she was like the last in line to eat! I had to tell her to get a plate. She naturally swore at me and moved through the buffet line.

Toasts from the Best Man, Maid of Honor, and the fathers of both the Bride and Groom followed. The Best Man impressed me with a perfect line. He stated that he and Connor had been best friends forever. He stated that he was happy to give up that title, because Marissa would now forever be his best friend. Good stuff!

After dinner, Marissa danced with her dad and Connor danced with his mom. Then the dance floor opened for the night. Music was not an issue, as they had given me plenty of songs to choose from. There is never enough time to get through the entire list. There were plenty of requests and the crowd seemed to be having a good time.

I naturally brought out the groom and the groomsmen, who had no idea why I called them out to the floor. I passed out a cowboy hat, and Indian head dress, a policeman’s hat, a sailor hat, and a biker hat. I led them through some silly moves and we did the YMCA together. This is always silly and they guys had fun. I even got to embarrass myself as I walked through the crown lip synching “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis with my terrible Elvis wig.

There were so many things from the evening that I will remember, but the one thing that will stick with me forever is just how beautiful Marissa looked.

I am so happy for her. I am excited to hear about all the things that are ahead for her and Connor. Random thought: Is he now my Godson-in-law? I’d be ok with that.

On my hour drive home, there was a lot of time to think about the day. I smiled again as I recalled the vows, the first dance, the last dance, and more. I had to pull over when the sadness crept in with the memory of the lost time with her. I had to remind myself that that is all in the past, and there will be more happy days ahead. Plenty of happy days, I am sure of it!

Congratulations to Marissa and Connor. Your love for each other will carry you through the tough storms … and God will get you through the rest!

I love you both!