Bestie Birthday Wish

While she has been mentioned before in a few blogs, I have one friend who has never had one completely devoted to her. Today, on her birthday, I want to rectify that.

As we get older, memories tend to fade. Details can get lost. We may remember things a bit differently than they actual happened. That’s one of the reasons I try to put things down here on my blog, to preserve those memories. Earlier this week, I focused on music from 1982, which is where we have to go for the beginning of my friendship with Margaret.

In our school district, there were like seven or eight elementary schools. So when we merged together in 7th grade, we met a whole lot of new people and made many new friends. I am sure that Margaret and I had more than just one class together in 7th grade, but I just don’t really remember anything but band class.

I can almost bet that I was the one who started talking to her. I remember thinking that she was pretty and so I bugged her a lot. I know that I drove her crazy. I was a pest. FYI – junior high Keith was a real dork. Yet, she was sweet and talked to me. Before the summer, we swapped phone numbers. I spent a lot of time on the phone talking to her in 7th and 8th grade. This was in the days before “call-waiting” and it drove my mom crazy that I tied up the phone. I’m sure her folks felt the same way.

I remember passing notes in the hallway in school. Recently she sent me a picture of one that I wrote her. It was folded and read “To: A sexy girl I just happened to see walking down the hall and is my bestest friend. From: Some Goon.” I laughed. It was totally something I would write. I’m sure there was little or no content in the letter, more than likely it read, “This class sucks. What are you doing later? Steve broke my trumpet today,” or something like that.

Our friendship grew throughout high school. We became very close. I think her folks, my folks, and certainly my grandparents wanted us to date, but we had a very special friendship and that was fine with us. We never dated, but went on dates, if that makes sense. We went to a few dances together in school (Homecoming, Snowball Dance). After one of those dances, I remember we were sitting in her driveway and ready to wrap up the evening. We had been talking and knowing that she was going to go in the house, we both sat there for a minute. I’m pretty sure I was the one who moved in for a kiss, and as we got close to each other, we both started laughing. We just knew that we’d never be more than friends.

We both had Ford Escorts our senior year of high school. She tried to teach me how to drive a stick shift in hers in the school parking lot. I just wasn’t getting it and most likely burned out her clutch. She got me back one day, though. I was in the band room early, as I always was. She came busting through the band room doors and said, “Where’s Keith!!??” I came out of the band library and she was crying saying, “I hit your car!” The parking lot was icy and she slid into the bumper of my car and caused it to dent in. It was really nothing and we both laugh about that to this day.

Margaret was always smarter than me. She was in the higher math and English classes. She was always getting her homework done (unlike me). She did like to cause trouble occasionally. I am sure that I blogged about this before, but Margaret, Ronnie and I all went out to TP our friend Steve’s house for his birthday. After the job, we stood on his front lawn and looked up at his bedroom window and sang “Happy Birthday.” As we turned to run away, the three of us were grabbed by a couple policemen who threw us in the back of their police cruiser. I think we all thought we were going to jail! Graduation wasn’t too far away and I remember freaking out! Steve’s mom smoothed it over for us and we were all let go – to clean up our mess.

After high school, she was off to college and would go on to become a nurse. She got married and had children before I did. At this point, let me quote from an earlier blog (1/1/2020):

When her daughter, Marissa, was born she asked me to be her Godfather. I was honored to do it. A Godfather is a very important role for an Italian. When I got married the first time, sadly, I saw less and less of Margaret and my Goddaughter. Whenever I was supposed to get together with them, I was always informed that we couldn’t go or we had something to do with my ex’s family. (If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you are well aware of the narcissism that I dealt with and how miserable my life had become.)

After the divorce, Margaret was one of the first to reach out to me. She completely understood what was going on. Her forgiveness meant everything to me. I hurt her. I was hurt, too. I lost many years of our friendship, and I lost so many moments with my Goddaughter. After all of that, Margaret (and many other friends) had every right to just stop talking to me, but our friendship meant so much, that we have picked up where we left off.

When I attended my Goddaughter’s 21st birthday party, I pulled her aside and apologized for missing so many important things in her life. How do you explain that to someone? As I looked back on the past, my stomach was in knots. I was sickened to think of how I must have made so many people feel. She didn’t bat an eye, however, and told me she loved me and we all enjoyed a great evening! I remember driving home from her party crying my eyes out. It wasn’t fair to her that I missed so many things. It makes me angry to know that I missed so much, but I am also happy that I can try to make up for lost time with her!

From that party – two of my favorite pictures:

Shortly before our daughter was born, Sam and I went to lunch/drinks with Margaret and her husband Walt. We really had a great time. We laughed a lot and shared some stories (like the ones above) that our spouses were hearing for the first time). Much like Sam, Margaret was also a very important part of my post-divorce life. Reconnecting with her was so special to me. Again, from that earlier blog:

During lunch, Margaret said something that struck a chord. It was something that made me sad, and happy at the same time. She said, “I have seen you more and talked to you more in the past two years, than the entire time you were married.” This made me sad, because of what I touched on early – a great friendship almost destroyed, as well as the relationship between my Goddaughter and me, all because of the stupidity of someone else. It made me happy to know that our friendship remains and will grow even stronger in the years ahead.

It has certainly done that! She and Walt brought us food at the hospital the night Ella was born. She has become the most amazing aunt to Ella and Andrew! She loves them so much and spoils them rotten. What a blessing she is to me and my family.

Margaret,

I can’t help but think back on the incredible and amazing journey of our friendship. I am reminded of the countless moments that have brought so much joy and meaning to my life. From the day we met, I knew there was something special about you, beside you being Italian! I am so grateful for your genuine kindness, your support and advice, and of course, your infectious laughter. Throughout it all, your constant support has been a source of comfort and inspiration for me.

On your birthday, I want to tell you how much you mean to me. For years, you have been a rock through thick and thin, always there to listen and offer non-biased advice and counsel. You’ve celebrated my successes as if they were your own and offered me an ear during my toughest times. Our friendship is a treasure that I cherish deeply.

I read something recently that I can easily apply to you and me: “Everyone has ‘a friend’ for each stage of life, but only lucky ones have that ‘same friend’ in all stages of life.” THANK YOU for being that ‘same friend” to me!

Today, I wish you happiness, love, and laughter. I thank you for all the wonderful memories of the past and look ahead to many more in the future. I love you, my friend.