“Hello Again, Hello …”

been

Long time … no blog

Hello, my friend.  Sorry I have been away for a bit.  My last blog led to many friends on Facebook reaching out to see if I was okay.  I wasn’t.  When I wrote that blog, I obviously was a bit frazzled, but had yet to reach my breaking point.  That only took an extra few days.

I’m not going to go into a lot of detail, but I finally cracked.  Emotionally.  Mentally.  Physically.  The stresses alluded to in my previous blog, and the stress of everything that is going on eventually led to this.  During a visit with my physician, she stated that she was very concerned about me.  She decided it was best for me and my health to be off work for a few weeks.  I am hoping she is right.

Quarantine 

Since the doctor visit, I have been home.  I have only ventured out in the car a couple times – to pick up groceries we ordered online and once with Sam (more on that in later).  Many think I am crazy, but after the things I heard and seen at the hospital, the first thing I did when I brought the groceries home was set them on the porch.  With gloves on, I went bag by bag and wiped everything down with bleach wipes.  How do I know who touched the things we bought?

Remember the blog I wrote about things to do while at home?  Yeah, despite the sudden abundance of extra time, I haven’t really had a chance to do much of what was on that list.  The stack of unread books remains unread – for now.  Exercise – I took a walk or two and put leaves in bags (does that count?).  Plenty of movies I have yet to watch.  Clear coat on the wall in the kitchen – can’t do any home improvements.  Organizing digital music and folders and radio stuff – you would think I’d be on the computer more than I have been, but I am not. Clean the basement – I did this partially.  So many things on my list that I just haven’t done.  Sigh.  How damn sad is this?  I finally have the time, but just can’t put myself in the right frame of mind to do them.

Hand writing So Many Things in To Do List, business concept

Social Media

While I am trying to limit my time on social media, I admit, I still get on Facebook more than I should.  It’s not that I don’t like it, it is just that it is flooded with so many things I am trying to avoid.

  • Political Bullshit.  Blaming Republicans and Democrats for everything.  Trump bashing.  Trump Praising.  Governor bashing.  Governor praising.  Polarizing stuff.  The world is full of division and it shows on Facebook.  You have your right to your opinion and to post what you want, however, I have programmed myself to scroll by this stuff.
  • Corona Virus  – Covid 19 stuff.  Being in the hospital setting, I know the numbers.  I know the severity of it.  The various theories and conspiracies and people re-posting every article they find to “prove their point” is NOT what I need to see.  The only things I pay attention to are the things posted by the CDC and World Health Organization.
  • Sad stories.  There are PLENTY of them.  Emotionally, I know they are out there, I just can’t handle them.

I have a page I update called Celebrity Passings.  When a celebrity dies, I post a picture and farewell.  There have been more than I can count lately – some Covid 19 related, some not.  My heart is just not in it right now.

One thing I am enjoying are some of the Facebook “games” that are out there.  One of the ones I am doing right now was a challenge to post an album that influenced your musical taste for 10 days.  In support of the 2020 seniors, some are posting their own high school senior pictures (I need to do that).  Another one that was fun was to zoom in on a picture of an album cover, or a scene from a TV show or movie and post the zoomed in part to see if people can guess what it is.  I zoomed in on Doc Brown’s eyes from Back to the Future – LOL!  Great Scott!

Family Time

The one thing that I have been able to do is spend time with my family – at least most of my family.  It has been very nice to spend time with my wife and daughter. This certainly has been a wonderful way to de-stress.  Ella is getting so big, and it is amazing how her features seem to change every day!

I have been feeding the baby more lately.  She often will fall asleep while eating.  When this happens, I usually let her sleep in my arms.  I may have mentioned this before, but one thing that I love is when she smiles in her sleep.  It is just so cute.

ella sleep

She is actually smiling a whole lot more.  She has a little floor mat with toys that hang down from it.  She loves lying on her back and looking at the toys.  She’s also been able to hold her head up for longer periods of time. She has a “Bumbo” chair, and she loves sitting in it.

ella chair

Ain’t it cute how she is giving us a “thumbs up” in that picture?

When the weather cooperates, we’ve been trying to get out and walk the neighborhood.  The other day it was 70 degrees.  The following day we had temps in the 30’s and 40’s with rain, snow, wind, thunder, and some sunshine!  Only in Michigan!  I had the chance to do a daddy/daughter walk through the neighborhood.  It was very relaxing and she enjoyed the time in the fresh air.

ella walk

This will be Ella’s first Easter.  We had hoped to have some professional pictures done, maybe one with the Easter Bunny.  Obviously, with the current situation and social distancing, that can’t happen.  So we’ve been trying to get some pictures here at home.  We’ll post them on Facebook for Easter.  During today’s shoot – I had to laugh.  In one picture, she curled her lip up like Elvis!  Just typing this makes me laugh.  Here she is channeling her “inner Elvis.”

ella elvis

Her hair continues to baffle us.  Some days it looks brown.  Some days it looks blonde.  Some days it looks red!  A red-headed Italian?!  Oh boy, am I in trouble!!??

Missing My Boys

As I stated above, I have had the chance to spend time with almost all of my family.  My sons are with their mom as this quarantine continues.  I haven’t seen them in almost a month, maybe more (all the days are running together).  I have video chatted with them a few times, but I miss them.  When we do talk, I always have the feeling that their mom is looming over them and they aren’t free to talk.

One call from my oldest made me especially sad.  The 4th was my mom’s birthday.  She would have been 72.  Every year, my sons and I visit her grave at the cemetery.  I was planning on going, but that day, I took a new medication that was prescribed by my doc and the side effects hit me pretty hard.  I was dizzy, lightheaded, and felt sick.  I took a nap and when I woke up my sons had called.  I called them from bed to tell them I was staying home.  They video chatted with me from the cemetery.  It was sad that I wasn’t they with them.  They were both in tears.  My oldest was upset because he was close to her.  My youngest was upset because he never had the chance to meet her and it still bothers him.  I told them that when this was all over, we’d go and visit.

It has just been awful not seeing them.  I miss them terribly.  My oldest video chatted yesterday and was showing me that he is growing his beard.  He turns 18 tomorrow.  I won’t even be able to hug him!  I have a gift for him.  I plan on wrapping it and driving it to his house and leaving it on his porch for him.  I told him I bought a cake and will make it and celebrate when we get the chance to be together.

2679180_0

Special Trip

Outside of going to the grocery store, I have only left the house one time.  Actually, it was me, Sam, and the baby.  I was feeling down.  Sam said we were going somewhere.  She said she had wanted to do this for a few weeks.  It obviously wasn’t a restaurant or anything, so I had no idea what she had in mind.  We all got in the car and she drove.  She drove to the cemetery.  She knew I was upset that I didn’t get to go with the boys, but she also wanted to take Ella.  She said it she wanted Ella to see one of the Pamela’s she was named after.

As you can imagine, it was emotional for me.  Sam brought a blanket and Ella and I laid on it by my mom’s grave.  My mom always hoped for a granddaughter.  I know she would have spoiled her big time! Just like with my youngest son, it makes me very sad that she never got to meet her grandma.  Sam’s grandpa is also buried at the same cemetery, so we took Ella to see her great grandpa, too!

It was a very special trip.

No Moe

One of the changes that happened recently is that we had to find a new home for one of our cats.  We had two.  Moe was our first.  Then we got Maizey.  Moe was huge.  He ate so much!  When we brought Ella home, we worried.  How were they going to react?  They both did well, so we didn’t think we were going to have issues.  We didn’t, until one night we found Moe in Ella’s bassinet.  He was laying on her, and we knew this was dangerous.

We didn’t know what to do.  By a stroke of luck, my sister-in-law’s ex’s parent’s cat had died recently.  They were looking for a cat!  They took him and treat him like a king!  We heard he has eggs for breakfast – at the table!!  He has his own heating pad on the couch.  He is living it up.  I miss him, but am happy he found a good home.

moe

As for Maizey, well, when Moe was here, she was moving.  She never laid by you.  She never let you hold her.  She never purred.  Well, that has all changed.  She loves being by us now.  She meows and likes her tummy rubbed.  She always seems to be by me now.  She loves to be petted and now purrs like nobody’s business.

maizey

Happy Easter

We’ll be staying home for Easter, obviously.  We’re not even sure what we are doing for Easter dinner.  But we plan on dressing up and enjoying our day as a family. We have an Easter basket for Ella and a very cute Easter outfit.  I am sure there will be many pictures!

Faith

I’m not one to push religion on anyone.  I understand that everyone believes what they want to believe.  I realized how far from my faith I have been through this whole situation.  Over the past two weeks, I began watching messages from pastor friends of mine, and got back into reading my bible.  A friend asked me some questions about the Antichrist and it was fun to re-study that topic and chat with her.  Bottom line, my faith is important to me.  It is a key element in my coming out of this in a better frame of mind.  I plan on spending a bit more time focused on that (and Him) in the future.

A friend of mine took this picture in Grand Blanc this week (about 30 minutes south of here).  It was such a beautiful picture, I want to share it here.  Enjoy your holiday.  Happy Easter.  Count your blessings.

crosses

I appreciate you reading.  Sorry to have been away for so long.  I’ll get through this.  It just may take some time.

I hope to be back to my normal blogging self, soon.

Be safe.  Be well.

Keith

 

 

 

 

Stuck Home – Now What?

This week, I was fascinated at the simulations posted by the Washington Post on how a virus (coronavirus or the flu for that matter) are spread.  You can see them here:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/world/corona-simulator/

The coronavirus is everywhere.  Schools are closed.  Casinos are closed.  Churches are streaming services online.  Restaurants and bars are closing.  College commencement ceremonies are being cancelled.  The CDC is warning to avoid gatherings of more than 50 people.  We are being told to “flatten the curve” and “stay home.”  Sure we have the internet, video games, and Netflix, but eventually, boredom will set in.

I-feel-bored_001

I saw something on Facebook this week that read:

“Just thing of all the sit down family dinners that will be happening across America because of this inconvenience.  Practices, meetings, and more – cancelled.  So many people say they’re ‘so busy’ and now have been forced to slow down.  Here’s your moment.  Use it wisely.  Be intentional.  Stay home.  Clean a closet.  Paint a room.  Spend time just sitting and talking.”

There is a lot of truth to that!  I am guilty of complaining about not having enough time to do things.  On my days off, I don’t relax – I am out trying to accomplish things I don’t have time for during the week.  Things get in the way.  I get busy – too busy to focus on what really is important.  Is work so important that it should take away from time with our family – sorry, bosses, it is not.  The structure of the family is hurting, because “family time” is becoming less and less.

“Me time” is also dwindling.  You hear all the time how important it is to unplug, and recharge.  My doctor says how important it is to find time to do something I enjoy once a week, even if it is only for an hour.  The problem is finding that time in a schedule that is already full with other obligations.

Let’s be honest, if I was forced to stay home because my work shut down, I would be freaking out.  No work = no money.  I have financial obligations.  We have cars and a home to pay for.  We have groceries to buy.  We have a baby to feed.  I have child support to pay to be sure my sons are ok.  We have the usually monthly bills to pay.  My wife is already off work and not being paid, so this potential “stay-cation” can really put me in a state of chaos.  I hope it doesn’t happen, but I also 1) don’t want to get sick and 2) get others sick. Whether it happens or not, I have to consider that is a possibility.

So, as I read that quote from Facebook, I began to think about the things I might actually get the chance to do if I was told to stay home for a few weeks. It was quite easy to make the list.  Some things are chores or projects I have put off for some time and others are more family/me oriented.  Here is a list that I just started jotting down. If you get bored while at home, maybe you can steal some of my items or be inspired to create your own list.

original

What To Do While on My Forced Stay-Cation

  1. READ. (The stack of “to-read” books at my house is HUGE).
  2. Put the clear coat up on the shiplap in the kitchen.
  3. Exercise.  (I never have time for this.  “Make time” people say.  Ok, I will have some now.)
  4. Purge.  (Old clothes, shoes, papers, etc.)
  5. Watch movies.  (My dad always seems to hand my a bag with DVD’s.  I have many of them on a shelf or in a box.  What a great opportunity to watch them!)
  6. Call an old friend. (“I’ll call you” we often say, and then life takes over.  Why not take the time to catch up?)
  7. Scan pictures. (I have a bunch that I have been meaning to scan for some time.)
  8. Organize my digital music.  (I have many CDs that I want to transfer to digital.  I also have a hard drive with a variety of random folders and songs.  Some songs, I will never play, so I should just delete them)
  9. Organize my computer files.  (So many folders – so little time)
  10. Go through old radio bits. (I have a hard drive of some of my best bits with my old morning show partner.  I keep telling her I will send them to her.  Maybe with the extra time, I can get this done.)
  11. Patch walls and paint. (Long overdue)
  12. Clean the basement. (Another project that is long overdue)
  13. Yard work (weather permitting)
  14. Clean the garage.
  15. Organize Blog Ideas (Lots of random “thoughts” and “scribbles” in my “To-Blog” Journal.
  16. Board Games.  (Family time – lots of laughs)
  17. Inventory.  (Make a list of valuables and such – just in case)
  18. Clean out my e-mailbox.  (Who knew that some of those things you thought you’d want to read, would end up being something that you never get around to?)
  19. Print out some of my blogs.  (I want to start making a “book” for my kids.  Many of these blogs will serve as “chapters”.)
  20. Sleep. (With a newborn, you gotta take advantage of as much sleep as you can!)
  21. Organize cupboards.  (My wife will oversee this – she is better at it than me)
  22. Create the Bucket List.  (I sorta have one.  I just have never written it down.)
  23. Write letters to my children. (Not sure where I saw this before, but I think this is something I would like to do once a year.  Eventually, they will get to read them and hopefully treasure them.)
  24. Learn a language.  (Yeah, I have been saying that for some time.  If I have a few weeks, maybe I can actually do it!)
  25. Unplug.  (No phones.  No TV.  No Internet.  Just sit and talk with my family.)
  26. (a) Take Pictures of Ella. (Cause a new daddy can never have enough pictures of his baby girl.) (b) Take pictures of the boys. (Cause they are growing up too fast!) (c) Take pictures of my wife (Because she is beautiful and I love her)
  27. Sort pictures and put them all in one place to print out (My phone had a gazillion pictures.  I need to send them to Walmart or wherever to print out hard copies)

So, how about you?  What are you planning to do with the gift of some extra time?  I would love to know what makes your list.

do

 

From “panic” to “stupid” in 3 minutes or less …

2e137b1a0e0e14d91f524a8ee5f39f4d007de69acfd57036a7f63c858ebfd69f_1

When I worked in radio full time, whenever I did something stupid or silly, I always shared the story on the air. It often led to many phone calls from people sharing similar things that they had done. It also led to those listeners and me laughing at each other’s stories. With the dawn of social media, I began to share those stories on My Space and Facebook. I love when one of those silly stories pops up on the Facebook “Memories” feed. It usually still makes me laugh.

I have no problem sharing my stupidity with you, so here is the latest installment, entitled “The Battle of the Belt”!

Friday morning, Sam had an appointment with a financial guy where she works to discuss retirement stuff. She wanted me to go as well. She was up and showered before me. We had to be up at the crack of dawn to be on the road, and I was pretty tired. When I finally crawled out of bed, she said that we needed to be on the road in about 30 minutes or we’d be late.

For whatever reason, I decided to shave my head, which added a few minutes to my normal “get ready” routine. Fearing that those extra minutes might put us behind, Sam told me that she would be driving because she “don’t drive like a senior citizen” and has “no problem driving over the speed limit.” Keep in mind that I usually do all the driving when we are together. I’m not sure why, I just usually do. So for this trip, I am in the passenger seat, which I suppose is the key to this story being funny.

In our relationship, Sam and I, have all of the comedic qualities of a good sitcom. What I mean by this, is that our internal thermostats are completely opposites! If I am hot, she is cold, and vice versa. When she drives in the car, the heat is ALWAYS on! Thank God there is a way to control the heat for both driver and passenger in her car! So here I am in my bulky winter coat, dying – because even though the heat on my side is turned down, it is still full blast on her side.

98-04-C5-Corvette-Digital-Heater-A-C-Climate-Control

Somewhere in the middle of out 35 minute drive, I slip out of the coat and it is behind me on the seat. We pulled into a parking spot and Sam shuts off the car. As I normally do, I reach to my right to unbuckle the seat belt. The problem is, I am reaching down and around the sleeves of my winter coat in a effort to find the buckle to undo the seat belt. I cannot find it! For whatever reason, this fresh wave of sheer panic overcomes me! Sam sees me starting to freak out and asks, “What’s wrong?” I can feel my heart pounding now, as I continue to try to find the damn buckle! I have what feels like the end of the belt in my hand – but there is NO buckle! I am sweating and panicking!

Panic-Image

I must have looked like a crazy person! Thoughts of being stuck in this car run through my mind! Scissors! Where is a pair of scissors to cut me out of here!? Why can’t I find this damn buckle! I am yelling now, “Where is the buckle?!” Let me help you visualize this:

e8b8045555b84065bf03491135581771

See the white circle and arrows?? This is the area that I am grabbing at and searching for the buckle. Now – notice the red circle …………. and the buckle?! You can imagine how stupid I felt when Sam reached over and literally pushed the button – releasing me from the seat belt.

Do

The entire traumatic event lasted approximately 3 minutes. As you know, when you panic, time stands still. It seemed like longer!

Let me say that this is NOT the first time I have been a passenger in this vehicle! I am not sure why, other than force of habit, I reached to my right to take the seat belt off. I am sure that it gave Sam one of the biggest laughs since we’ve been together! I have a feeling I will be reminded of this for years to come!

embarrassed_bear

Friend or Foe?

Friend_or_Foe_title_card

So this weekend, I had two things happen that made me think, then chuckle, then I smiled, reminded of just how good things are in my life.  First, I was out at the store and I saw someone who is a mutual friend of my ex and me.  I wasn’t going to go out of my way to say hello, and I guess I didn’t need to.  You see, as soon as this person saw me, and made eye contact, they immediately looked the other way and walked away as fast as they could.

when-people-ignore-you

As I said, first it made me think:  She’s done what all narcissists do – told a bunch of lies about me and got this person to believe them.  Second it made me chuckle – we used to be good friends.  They have chosen to believe the lies and had the perfect opportunity to ask me about them to my face, and decided to just run away.  Finally, I smiled.  I don’t need people like that in my life!  Go ahead and believe whatever you want.  I feel sorry for you.  You, too, are caught up in the self pity party and in the fantasy story that has been told over and over to make her look good and me look bad.

The second thing that happened was via Facebook.  It’s no secret that when I was in the process of making positive changes in my life, I went through my list of Facebook friends and deleted many people.  I would say 80% of those people were people who were mutual friends of my ex and me.  I knew that those particular people would be people who, if given the choice, would chose to remain friends with her, instead of me.  No loss, really.

So this weekend I get a friend request from one of those mutual friends who I deleted.  Like the first incident, it made me think – Now why on earth would they be sending me a friend request years later?  I was never really that close with that person.  Why all of a sudden? I was really thrown for a loop.  Again, it made me chuckle – see, I recently took the deleting of friends a step further and “blocked” certain people (including a significant other), and so her spies can’t really snoop around on my page anymore.  Then, I smiled again.  It’s really funny to see just how her network of spies is trying to get information to bring back to her.

spies

The narcissist is manipulative, controlling, jealous, never takes responsibility, is angry and full of rage, shifts blame, and plays themselves as the victim.  They will use whoever they can to get what they want.  They tell stories and falsehoods to get someone on their side, so they can use them for their own reasons.  They live to take joy from others, especially others who they want to control.

To person number one – have a nice life.  I’m here when you are ready to hear MY side of things.

To person number two – Friend Request Denied.

 

Too Early??

Halloween is barely behind us, and we are just a day or two into November.  Christmas is over 50 days away, however, it is everywhere! Even before Halloween, many stores had their Christmas displays and decorations up!

111223035421-christmas-tree-presents-horizontal-gallery

For years, people have pondered, discussed, and debated the “how early is too early for Christmas” topic.  In September this cartoon was all over the internet:

ig1zydlj62v31

Just before Halloween, Sirius XM radio began adding their holiday channels to their line up.  Countless radio stations across the country flipped to “all Christmas” music yesterday and Facebook and almost every major news outlet had stories about it.  I really don’t know why people were acting so surprised by this, because it happens every year!  Is this the earliest stations have flipped?  No.  I recall a few years where some stations flipped to all Christmas BEFORE Halloween.

There was a time when Christmas music didn’t even start playing on the radio until Thanksgiving weekend.  I recall scheduling 3 to 4 Christmas songs an hour throughout that weekend, and then cutting back to 1 an hour after Thanksgiving weekend.  As Christmas got closer, the number of songs we played increased to 2, 3, and eventually 4 an hour.  We almost always went all Christmas music at 12 noon Christmas Eve and then would continue through 6pm Christmas night.  That’s not the case anymore.

5cd516032500002f00a10b24

People inevitably ask me the question – “Why do stations go all Christmas so early?!”  The answer is a simple one – ratings!  Its not always the case, but most of the time, these stations who play all Christmas music do very well in the ratings books – which means more $$ for the station.  Some retail stores do not have the pre-recorded satellite music, so they will pipe the “all Christmas station” throughout the store.   That means more listeners to that particular station.

Is it good or bad?

So this brings me to a Facebook discussion some friends were having (after one person voiced his disgust at the fact that his station flipped to all Christmas) yesterday.  His argument was that “holiday music increases stress and is unhealthy for people.”  I knew exactly what he was referring to.

Christmas-Music-2-1

A couple years ago, a psychologist named Linda Blair said that listening to Christmas music too early in the holiday season can have a negative effect on people.  She stated that it can affect mental health triggering “feelings of stress.”  She said that hearing holiday music is a reminder of all the things that you have to do to get ready for the holiday.  She said the music will cause you to worry about (and become overwhelmed by) the things on your “to-do” list like travel planning, shopping, and planning for parties.

She also said that people who work in retail, especially those who work at places like shopping malls, face a higher risk of what she called “Christmas music-induced stress”! “Hearing the same songs over and over each day could make workers struggle to ‘tune it out’ and they become ‘unable to focus on anything else,’ she said. “You’re simply spending all of your energy trying not to hear what you’re hearing.”

Tired Santa in Workshop

That story first hit the news in 2017, and has already be reprinted this year on many social media and news pages.  Blair never really cites any concrete evidence, or study results, so how do we know that this is actually the case?  Maybe she is just a Grinch who hates Christmas Music?? Who knows?!

5595072_100519-cc-grinch-freeform-img

On the other hand …

In response to Linda Blair’s findings, there is another article (this one citing “scientific studies”) that says the exact opposite!  In those studies, it was proven that listening to “uplifting music”  – like Jingle Bell Rock, Frosty the Snowman and A Holly Jolly Christmas, to name a few – has been known to have a positive effect both physically and psychologically.

According to these studies, the feeling associated when listening to music can be sorted into two categories, perceived emotions (when we appreciate the emotional tone of the piece, but not feel that emotion ourselves) and felt emotions. Felt emotions are when we connect to the feeling behind the piece we are listening to and it can impact our emotional state.”

6b09d355-christmasmusic-rondtable

As someone who has worked in radio for 30+ years, I know first hand the connection that music has to memories.  Do a google search on “music memory quotes” and there are plenty of them. One quote in particular holds true for the next point – from Michigan’s own, Stevie Wonder:

Quotation-Stevie-Wonder-Music-at-its-essence-is-what-gives-us-memories-And-31-97-93

“Music has a strong tie to nostalgia.”

This is why hearing a song from your childhood may bring back memories of elementary school, a high school dance, or a major life event like it was yesterday. It’s also why listening to certain Christmas songs can make people feel warm, fuzzy and child-like. Part of the reason why Christmas music is associated with joy is not necessarily the music itself, but the memories that come with it.

bells

So, listening to Christmas songs may make you feel nostalgic for your childhood or just generally happy, because your brain has already created positive associations with the music. And it’s been proven – research conducted by researchers at McGill University proved that when people listen to happy, upbeat music, they can recall happy memories within a short amount of time.   The entire article can be found here:

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/02/170228131027.htm

“In the experiment, the researchers had participants listen to four different genres of original music they had never heard before: happy (positive, high arousal), peaceful (positive, low arousal), scary (negative, high arousal) and sad (negative, low arousal). The researchers found that when the participants listened to happy, upbeat music, it brought about happy memories.”

That being said, there are Christmas songs that can bring about sad memories, too.  So I guess there is that possibility, too.  For the most part, though, Christmas music is happy and upbeat.  That would suggest that listening to Christmas music brings about nostalgic thoughts which brings about happy memories and you being a happier person.

What’s my take on it?

While I don’t listen to Christmas music 24/7/365, I do have Christmas songs on my iPod.  When I am listening to it and a Christmas song comes on out of season, it depends on my mood as to whether or not I am going to listen to it.  There are some Christmas songs that I can listen to no matter what the season, because (as the latter study suggested) it makes me feel good or happy.

christmas-music-for-business1

I remember when I worked at Honey Radio in Detroit, we would throw in “summer songs” when it was summer time.  We’d play “Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summmer”, “Wonderful Summer”, “Summertime”, and others and then cut back on them in the fall and winter.  I have never understood why songs like “Let it Snow”, “Winter Wonderland”, or “Jingle Bells” (which are basically winter time songs that never really mention Christmas) didn’t play throughout the Winter.

Final Thought

There are people who complain just because they like complaining.  Bottom line is this – radio is free.  You have many choices up and down the dial.  There are many other stations that are not playing Christmas music 24/7, so if you don’t want to hear it – DON’T!  Pop in a CD, listen to your Spotify, plug in a USB with your tunes on it, or find the satellite channel that plays the format you enjoy.  Problem solved!

I have always looked forward to the Christmas season.  People tend to be friendlier.  People seem to be kinder.  There is a sense of happiness that comes with the season.  Elvis Presely’s “Why Can’t Everyday Be Like Christmas?” captures that sentiment.  Just because you don’t want to listen to Christmas music, doesn’t mean that others don’t want to.  Christmas music and the holiday season bring about a joy that seems to be lacking today – don’t be a Scrooge!

44713-christmas-music-artisteer-facebook.800w.tn

 

Halloween Dress Up

Tonight on ABC, one of the greatest Halloween specials of all time aired again – It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.  It is in this special that poor Charlie Brown utters those sad words, “I got a rock.”

5b54f8c004aaf7c3d2d10e93f622a4df

In that scene, Lucy is wearing a witch mask.  It got me to thinking about Halloweens of my past.  I remember the streets would be packed with kids when I went out trick or treating!  I remember standing in lines at the doors of my neighbors, waiting for my turn to yell “trick or treat!”  By the time I took my boys out on Halloween, I was sad to see that the streets were not very busy at all.  I remember being out late and rushing from house to house – hoping to get them all before they turned the porch light out (telling you that “we’re out of candy”)!

As I sat here pondering this blog, I tired to think of some of my past Halloween costumes.  I can remember some of the ones from when I was older: a vampire, Oliver Hardy, and a Robot.  The robot was a couple cardboard boxes my dad taped together and spray painted silver.  We put cassette tapes, a vacuum hose, and other things on it and it was actually very cool.  My brother used the same costume for a play he did in elementary school.

Other than those mentioned above, I didn’t remember any specific costumes off the top of my head. This is probably because most of the costumes I grew up wearing sucked.  They were so bad, Jerry Seinfeld did a bit about them in his comedy act.  I did a Google search for Halloween Costumes of the 1970’s and it all came back to me!  Halloween costumes back when I was a kid were hardly original.  Today, if you go to an elementary school and watch a Costume Parade, you will see some really good costumes!  Many of them will even be homemade.  This was not the case when I was a kid!

d4a1be7092835305b13d95ad826a73d9

You usually bought your costumes at K-Mart, or Kresge, or the local drug store.  The costumes of the 70’s consisted of primarily a mask.  The mask had two big eye holes (which you really couldn’t see out of!), two small nose holes (which you couldn’t breathe out of!), and a slit by the mouth.  It was a cheap piece of plastic and it sometimes cracked.  The mask had a cheap rubber string that was stapled to each side.  This rubber string was what kept the mask on your head.  If the string broke, you either re-stapled in, or you took it off and didn’t wear it.

The costume also included a cheap one piece outfit.  They were like “onesie” pajamas.  You first put your feet and legs in it and then your arms.  There was a tie that you tied behind your neck to keep it on.  On the outfit it usually has the character’s name in bold letters on it.  This must have been so if the mask fell off, people knew who you were supposed to be.  97% of all kids wore these dumb costumes when I was a kid!

While I Googled, I came across two of those stupid costumes I sort of remember having.  The first was The Six Million Dollar Man:

e36663c22ede880a00520625df30705c

I also remember having C-3PO:

C3PO-858x1024

I think I may have had an Underdog costume, too!

The outfits were so cheap that by the end of trick or treating, there were rips in the crotch or legs.  Sometimes they were ripped up before you even got to go out trick or treating!  We’d wear our costumes to school that day and they would rip in the classroom!  They were paper thin, too, so you either had to buy it three times too big, so you could wear something underneath it, or you covered it with your coat and no one saw what you were anyway!

Here are some of the funnier costumes I found while searching:

From TV – Welcome Back, Kotter:

kotter_costume

Mr, Kotter (above) and Barbarino (below)

tMj2f-1444070272-257-list_items-costume_kotter

Mork from Mork and Mindy

mork_costume

The Fonz from Happy Days

a5c98f83d2082be1469df4a17c938ab8

There were plenty of super heroes, including Batman!

display-57becd585f9b5855e5af954b

And, despite how sexy she looked on TV, the Wonder Woman costume was actually quite scary …

Wonder-Woman-Halloween-costumes-from-1979-750x527

I mean – look at Lynda Carter!  She’s beautiful!!  That costume is just freaky!!!!

One of the most ridiculous costumes was this one based on the movie Jaws!

AO8M5-1444070258-256-list_items-costume_jaws

Finally, for the gals who thought Donny Osmond was cute … this costume should make them think twice.

5ij7E-1444070344-260-list_items-costume_osmond

Come on!  That looks like a weird Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner!!!

For whatever it is worth, I am going to guess that these costumes are probably worth money today.  I have a lot of friends on Facebook who have extensive toy collectibles, and they probably have some.  Mine are long gone, more than likely because they were ripped up and destroyed the same year we bought it.

It was fun to just spend time searching up the old costumes and looking at them.  Do you remember wearing these?  What were some of your favorite costumes?  What are some of your favorite Halloween memories?

halloween-gettyimages-172988453

 

 

 

 

100

100_sculpture

Sometimes I feel like I repeat myself in my blogs.  If I do, I apologize.  In all honesty, sometimes I forget if I have mentioned something in a previous blog.  I have been meaning to hook up with my friend and fellow blogger, Max, to learn how to index the content that I have already published.  I guess I should do that sooner than later. So pardon me if I have said this before.

When I started this blog, I did it primarily for me.  It was a place for me to (1) write about the things I was dealing with in my life (2) write down memories for my children to look back on and read in the future (3) occasionally rant about things that bothered me and (4) share memories of things that interest me (movies, music, TV, etc…).  I first began blogging in the days of My Space.  This would have been around 2005-2007.  To my knowledge, my My Space page is still in existence in cyber space, but with the dawn of Facebook, I haven’t done anything on it in years!  I used to blog on there all the time, the blogs used to pop up on your front page.

Some time ago, My Space removed the blogs from everyone’s page.  I contacted them because many of those blogs had personal things I wanted to remember.  I blogged often in the months and weeks proceeding my mother’s death.  I blogged about the birth of my second son.  All of those were gone.  They provided me a link to go in and download all of my blogs.  All of the comments were gone, but the original content was there.  For that, I am glad.  Re-reading some of them is emotional – they capture a moment in my past and give me a sense of what I was feeling at that time.  Some of those old blogs have been updated and additional thoughts have been added here.

At any rate, during the time I was blogging, I was told by someone I was once close to that “nobody cares about the things you write about”.  For whatever reason, I was constantly being told by this person to stop writing.  Occasionally, I would write a “note” on Facebook, which was similar to the My Space blogs.  These were also met with negative responses and the request was again made to stop, which I eventually did.

Fast forward to almost two years ago, when I started to blog.  I had been in therapy trying to sort out things in my life and it was suggested that I keep a journal.  I mentioned that I used to blog and my therapist asked why I had stopped.  She encouraged me to begin blogging or keeping a journal – and this is it. Blogs have ranged from fun stuff to serious stuff. I began to share links to my blog on Facebook, and many of my friends began following it, and sometimes, even sharing it on their page.  Through Word Press, I began to follow other blogs written by people who share my love for music, old movies, and classic TV.  Often times, my blogs will inspire someone to write one and vice versa.

All of this brings me to why I am writing this blog.  Today, I was informed that this blog now has 100 followers!  I am humbled that 100 people would find the topics that I write about worth reading, let alone wanting to be informed every time I write something new!  I thank you for reading and I thank you for interacting.  If there is every anything you’d like to see this blog explore, I would love to hear it.  Writing is often met with what some call “writer’s block” and I often face the “What should I write about today?” dilemma.  Feel free to offer suggestions.

There are those who say that bloggers/writers/authors should write everyday, no matter what – even if you are just scribbling a sentence or two.  For me, time is an issue.  Finding the time is always the challenge.  I try to write as often as I can. Sometimes, the stuff I write never makes it here and ends up as a Facebook status.  For example, this week marked the anniversary of my grandma’s passing, today is the 117th birthday of the great Larry Fine of the Three Stooges, Sam is starting to feel our baby move, and it’s Homecoming week – all things that I could probably blog about (and probably should).  I just have to find the time!

Thanks for following!  Thanks for reading!

thank-you-185078737-58adfa013df78c345b0837e7

 

 

Quotes I Needed To Hear Today

23al0q

It’s not worth my time (or yours) to rehash why I am writing this blog. It will be a short one. After an incident today, Sam (as she always does), saw a great quote that really helped me today:

“Learn to be ok with people not knowing your side of the story. You don’t have to prove ANYTHING to ANYONE.”

That quote was followed by a post from a friend on Facebook which read:

“Start ignoring people who threaten your joy. Literally – ignore them. Say nothing. Don’t invite any parts of them into your space.”

Both of these quotes were just perfect and helped me deal with a situation. While I have never been one to seek revenge on anyone, another quote I stumbled on also helped:

“Living a good life really is the best revenge. Once they acknowledge that they cannot ruin your happiness, they lose their power.”

It’s all about control. Author Jill Blakeway says it this way:

“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will seem unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth – JUST LIKE YOU DID!”

Fitting right in with that last quote:

“The sociopath fears two things. (1.) Losing control and (2.) Being exposed”

Author Daniel Chidiac says:

“When a person attempts to control someone else’s life, it only reflects the lack of control they have on their own.”

Not sure if this is true, but actor Will Smith is credited with saying:

“Haters are the people who will broadcast your failures and whisper your success”

When you break free from people who have controlled you or manipulated you for years, you have to remember that now that you are not in their life anymore, they must turn to someone else and manipulate them. There is a great truth here!

So why did I write this? To be a constant reminder to myself of how far I have come and to always remember:

BZkI0JyCUAI0p_-

71nGJDbdDjL__SX425_

18 years later – 9/11

skyscraper-NYC-126420770-56aadce93df78cf772b497fb

Like the assassination of JFK for some people, or the Challenger explosion for others, 9/11 is one of those life changing events that is forever etched in the minds of those who lived through it.  No doubt, you remember exactly what you were doing and where you were when you heard the news.  So do I.

In radio, an aircheck is a recording of your show.  It consists of just your talk breaks.  Many times your boss brings you in to listen to a past show together.  You listen to the breaks you did, talk about what was good, what was bad, how to improve your performance and so on.  On September 11, 2001, I was in my bosses office going over a show.

I was working at B95 in Flint at the time.  Brian Cleary was my boss.  We had just listened to a break where I told a stupid joke when our morning gal, Kristine Turner, came in to tell us that a plane had hit the World Trade Center.  At the time we all thought it was some sort of freak accident.  We walked out of the office and down to the newsroom.  The TV was on and there was a live shot of the World Trade Center with smoke pouring out of it.  Even the news people on the air were talking about how this was some sort of accident.  And then we watched as the second plane hit the other tower on live TV!

At this point, we understood that this was going to be no ordinary day.  When I went on  the air at 10am, I became the link to what was going on to people without access to TVs at work.  I recall breaking format and playing news updates.  I remember the South Tower collapsed just before I went on the air.  We then heard of Flight 93 going down in Pennsylvania.  Then came the news of the North Tower collapsing just before 10:30am.  It was the busiest and craziest day of my radio career.  I remember staying after my shift and manning the canopy that we had set up in the parking lot to take donations for the people in New York.  I also remember being exhausted when we wrapped up for the night.  We all knew that the days and weeks ahead were going to be VERY different. 

I don’t think any of us knew just how much the world was going to change that day.  My ex and I had just found out that we were expecting our first child, who was due in April of 2002.  I remember being scared about the world that our baby was coming into.  What we also didn’t realize was how these horrible events would bring our nation together. 

What follows is something that I posted on Facebook last year and reposted today:

“18 years ago today the people of this country forgot all about race, gender, political stance, religion, and stood together as one after the events of 9/11. What followed was a surge of patriotism that hadn’t been seen since World War II. American Pride soared. Today the country is extremely divided, and not just into two parts, but many.

Today we live in a country where everything seems to offend somebody. We tend to forget that the things of the past have made us and this country what it is today. History is history. We can look back in hindsight and see that there were things in the past that were (at the time) considered to be okay, but now we know they are not. We study history, to learn the things not to repeat. We also study history, to show us the things that worth repeating. Let’s take a lesson from history, a day 18 years ago, let’s put away the divisions. Let’s remember that no matter what race, color, or gender you are, we are all human beings.

There are plenty of scientific studies to show that it takes more effort to frown than to smile, and to hate rather than love. Today, as we remember those people who were on the planes, in the towers, in the Pentagon, or were first responders… remember the love, sadness, and the patriotism that brought this country together. Life can change in an instant. Practice kindness. Love one another.”

The emotions of that day will never be forgotten. We will never forget the acts of heroism we witnessed or the outpouring of support that was shown by Americans everywhere.  The uniting of a nation is one that I will always remember. Today I remember the people whose lives that were cut short. I remember the innocent.  I remember the heroes.

Today I reflect and remember. I hope you will too.

Daddy’s Little Girl

81-OoLKAXJL__SX425_

The past 16 weeks have been very exciting for Sam and me.  It has been especially nice to have this blog as a place that I can write things down and look back on later.  My last blog told of the ultrasound, finding out the baby’s gender, and how we shared the news.  I am writing today’s blog because something was missing from my last one – I’ll explain in just a minute.

First, let me say that we are overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and congratulations we have received from our friends and family.  It was fun to tease that a gender reveal was coming and watch friends post their guesses on Facebook.  I was reminded how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends as they sent private messages, texts, and called with congratulations.  Thank you all!

So what was missing from the last blog?  It was a lengthy blog, so what could I have possibly left out?  Sam pointed out that I had certainly written about a lot of things that happened over the weekend, however, I really never said much about how I felt.  I shared about watching the ultrasound, how I told my dad and the boys, but how do I feel about it?  What am I feeling?  I don’t know that I can put it all into words, but I will try.

Elation.  Joy.  Excitement.  Delight.  Jubilation. 

I mean, how can I NOT feel these things!?  I was told that there was only a 4% chance of me being able to have a baby, and then, the amazing news that we are having a baby – well, that makes you pretty damn happy!  I’ve been given the opportunity to be a dad again – and this time, I’m having a little girl!

Over the years, I have been an uncle to many nieces, and have loved every minute of it.  I have danced around in a princess crown for them, gone to Peppa Pig World, read girly bedtime stories, and made puppet monkeys talk.  Having a daughter takes things to a whole new level!

First girl

I had always hoped that when I had children that I would have one of each.  I wanted a boy to play sports with and a girl to walk down the aisle.  I was blessed with two amazing sons, who I loved playing catch with.  I love those boys with all that I am.  I was NEVER unhappy that I had boys.  They each have very distinct personalities.  They are both very smart.  As I look at all they have accomplished, I beam with great pride.  I am honored to have been chosen to be their dad!!

12 years later, after many changes in my life, I am once again about to become a father.  This time, I will be “daddy” to a little girl.  What a great responsibility this is!  I will not lie about this – as happy as I am, I am also scared as hell!!!

Scary things

Boys could get away with 2 or 3 pairs of pants.  All you really needed were a bunch of shirts and you could be set.  Girls are different!  They need pants, shirts, leggings, shoes, and many, many dresses!

81znnwskZeL__SL1500_

I hope Sam knows that she will probably be picking out most of the clothes!  I have a feeling what I think is “cute” really isn’t!

Have you seen the Xfinity commercial where the girl is dressing up her dad??

xfinity-home-welcome-to-the-neighborhood-song-by-dinah-washington-small-7

I would TOTALLY let my daughter do this!  Now, if I have to do nails or makeup, I have this awful feeling that it will look something like this guy!  I have never had to paint nails before.  I don’t know how to put on eyeliner, blush, or any type of makeup.  I will definitely need a crash course!!!

Let’s not even talk about her hair!  I used to do my own hair, and now I am bald! How on earth am I going to be able to do her hair?  With the boys, I brushed it, combed it, or parted it.  This isn’t how it works with girls!!  Have you seen the gazillion ways to braid hair?!

There is this:

693a5332826f0ea83cbf5d6767490f15

And this:

17-adorable-hairstyles-your-toddler-girl-will-love-2-19638-1417557069-9_dblbig

And this:

8d5d418175ca1ecf88e2e42164352ffb

And this:

79170917-Braids-for-kids-

The braid is hard enough!!  I gotta make a heart, too?!? The pressure is unreal!!!!

Then there is play time.  Very different from boys.  I have never EVER hosted a tea party …

659c5be9a8fda370258542cfd8343ced

Whew!  I’m glad there is a book!!!

Another scary thing is diaper changes.

Huggies Ultra soft pants Girl Packshot

It’s a whole new ball game for me!  It’s been some time since I changed diapers, and I know it will all come back to me … this time, however, the parts are different!!

Then there is GLITTER!  Man, I really hate glitter!  It stays with you for years!  LOL

main-qimg-a898362676c7256f71649bf1e3a495f1

Sports

Sam asked what sports I thought our daughter should do.  Me, being a guy, thought about what I had already done with the boys.  Hey, girls, do these things!!!

T-Ball – How cool are pink bats and gloves??!!

L12023377

Bowling – Some of the high school’s have girl bowling teams!  I gotta tell you, these gals bowled better than some of the guys I bowled with over the years!

little-girl-in-pink-clothes-play-bowling-and-jumps_xyizddz9___F0000

Golf – I knew a gal who golfed for the high school team.  She was pretty amazing!  How good was she?  I never golfed with her, because I knew she’d beat the hell out of me!  Golf, like bowling, had scholarships, too, so why not?!

Find-a-Site

Sam must have thought I was crazy!  She said that she was thinking about gymnastics – which after she said it, made total sense!  Of course, our girl could do gymnastics!  I can see her at the Olympics!  Our little gold medal winner!  Of course, I won’t let this guy teach her …. this doesn’t look right ….

nastiajrclubtraining

One of the things I can see her doing is dance.  My nieces do dance now.  Whether it is ballet or just dance in general, I can totally see our daughter doing it.

pre-ballet2

Sam has already warned me that girls in dance class have to have many outfit changes.  Tutus, ballet slippers, tap shoes, bows, leotards, and more!  Yeah, I’ll be out in the audience doing all the moves with her (minus the leotards).

In all seriousness

I won’t lie, raising a child in the world today is very scary.  Hell, it was scary before my oldest was born (9/11 happened just 7 months before he was born)!  As a father, I know that my daughter will be looking to me for many things.  I hope that she sees me as her hero!

889993081

I hope she will see me as her protector and as someone she can always trust.  I hope she will feel comfortable to share what ever is on her mind, and come to me for advice.  I cannot wait to share that special bond and special love that a daughter and dad have.

Things I am looking forward to

  • Her first cry
  • Her first photo shoot
  • Her first words
  • Her first tooth
  • Her first steps
  • Holding her in my arms
  • Singing her to sleep
  • Hugging her
  • Piggy back rides on my shoulders

dad-carrying-daughter_SI

  • Reading bedtime stories
  • Holding hands
  • Buying her whatever she wants (Sam says she’s hiding the checkbook)

The list goes on and on.

So am I feeling?

I am overjoyed!  I am ecstatic!  I could not be happier that I am going to be a dad again!!

I am also scared.  I worry.  I am told this is natural.

I am nervous.  I don’t want to fail or disappoint.

I am anxious.  I look forward to all the firsts, all the accomplishments, and milestones.

Final Thought

Over the past 30 years, I have DJ’s thousands of weddings and hundreds of Daddy/Daughter dances!  At weddings, I have watched countless times as two special people shared their moment in the spotlight. At Daddy/Daughter dances, I have watched dads wonder just what their little girl is screaming about when Justin Beiber or Taylor Swift start playing.  I have then watched as they finally get a slow song to dance with their little girl.

As a father of boys, I never understood the bond or the feelings involved with those dances.  I know I have a few years yet, but time will fly and soon enough I will be able to relate to those dads I have watched over the years.  To say I am excited as I look forward to that first dance … is quite an understatement.

dancing-with-dad