Blog # 300!!

Another Milestone

Well, here it is – my 300th blog post. To be completely honest, I have a few more than 300, but some were kept private. So this is my 300th “published” blog. Over the past few blogs, I knew this milestone blog was coming, and wondered just how a blogger celebrates this kind of achievement. I found that most look back and reflect on stats.

I don’t know about doing that. Does it matter that the most popular day my blog is viewed is Thursday? Are you impressed that in the first 299 blogs I have written 64,488 words? Does it thrill you to know that each blog averages about 921 words? I highly doubt that means anything to you.

A Short Reflection

300 blogs. It is amazing to actually look back and see the wide variety of content that I covered since beginning this blog:

  • The blog is full of many posts about music – some about specific tunes (Tune Tuesday) and some filled with many songs.
  • There have been many blogs about television – whether it be actual shows or just theme songs.
  • I have also written many blogs about movies – some as part of blogathons hosted by other bloggers and some of my personal favorites.
  • There have been blogs about holidays from throughout the year – some contain specific memories and some are just general thoughts.
  • I have written special blogs to family and friends – my mom, my dad, my grandparents, my godfather, my kids, my wife, and my lifelong friends.
  • There have been no shortage of radio stories about listeners and coworkers.
  • Some blogs were just full of random thoughts and observations.
  • There were blogs about celebrities – some funny, some musical, some just for the hell of it.
  • I shared the love story of my wife and me.
  • I shared with family and friends the news on our miracle baby and blogged about the days that led up to her arrival.
  • Of course, after she was born, there have been many wonderful stories and things to share about her as she continues to grow up.
  • I was honored to have my brother write a guest blog for me (and hope to have more in the future).
  • I opened up about many personal things – my divorce, thoughts on suicide, the changes in my personal life, reflections on life and death, my faith, and so many other topics I kept to myself.
  • There have been some “Question and Answer” blogs that contained things asked of me by friends and family.

Looking back, I am impressed with myself. Who knew I had it in me?

New Connections

If you have a Facebook, you know that they will occasionally give you friend suggestions. They will offer up “People You May Know.” Many of those suggestions stem from mutual friends. There are people that pop up and I have 65 mutual friends with them because we went to the same high school together, or we both have the same radio friends, etc…

With this blog, we don’t have that feature. However, through searching things for things like movies, TV, music, and such, I have found many bloggers that share my interests. I follow quite a few blogs and continue to add more to my “read” list. Some of those bloggers offer up personal stuff like I do on occasion. Some respond with personal stories to my personal blogs. Through that, I feel like I know many of them.

Max is a good example of this. He has blogged about things I remember and vice versa. We also share many of the same musical tastes. He actually helped me set up the index on the side of the blog. Since doing that, more of my older blogs are being read than before. We swapped e-mails and eventually phone numbers. When I called him to talk about the index and creating some pages, it was like talking to someone I had known for years. How cool is that?

Lessons Learned

After 300 blogs, I think it is important to note some of the things I have learned since the beginning. If you are a new blogger, maybe some of my observations can be useful to you.

Even with spellcheck, I make mistakes. I found going back through some older blogs that there are some typos. Some are spelling mistakes, some are grammatical. My one radio buddy, who also works for a newspaper, told me I need an editor. He then proceeded to tell me I couldn’t afford him! I need to be better at proofreading.

There really is no way to know which blogs will be popular. I have written blogs that I think will get a great response, only to see that is not the case. At the same time, I have written blogs that I feel are just “ok” topics, and had a ton of hits on it. You never really know. It hurts your ego a bit when a blog you think is great is barely read, but that’s the way it goes sometimes.

Keywords matter. I try to include as many “tags” as I can with each blog. I have found that this will ultimately lead to more followers and readers. My most read blog? It is about a scammer. I got an e-mail saying that someone noticed I spelled a word wrong and said I should download some app. With research, I found the app is actually something you want to avoid. The keyword “Scam” or “Scammer” has lead to many reading that blog and some even commenting saying that they got the same type of e-mail.

The personal blogs I wrote about suicide, divorce, staying positive, dealing with a narcissist, and depression led to many new people following this blog. Some went as far as to reach out and share their own stories about those things. You know, sometimes, it helps to know you aren’t the only one dealing with those issues.

Each blog represents a moment in time. It represents what I felt at a certain moment in time. Early on in my therapy, I was angered easily. I didn’t realize how certain things by certain people triggered it. I was not a pleasant person. Over time, I have learned to not let those things trigger anger. I have learned coping skills. I am a different person than who I was.

Think about your favorite TV show. Did you like it immediately? The first time I watched Seinfeld or Cheers, I was not impressed. Over time, I came to enjoy the shows more. At one moment in time, you may feel one way, and over time you can feel another way.

Many of my blogs are memories that I want to preserve for the future. Other blogs are about things I have observed. At the time, I felt a certain way about things – over time, my thoughts or feelings might change. It helps to keep that in perspective.

Write about what you are passionate about! Chances are if you are passionate about it, a reader will find it interesting. This same principle was suggested to me when I worked in radio. Share things that “make you feel!” Some readers love my musical blogs while some prefer my more personal ones. I am passionate about everything I write, however, not all things will appeal to everyone. Anyone who comes to this blog will see my love for all things entertainment, but also see my love for my family and my children!

Another principle from radio that translated to writing a blog is to simply “observe life.” Look around and take notice. A successful stand up comedian is one who observes little things, talks about it, and the audience says “Oh yeah! I have noticed that too!” George Carlin was a master observer! Take those things that you observe and relay them. You know the whole “which way should the toilet paper roll go on” thing was simply something that someone wondered about, right!?

I always loved the above Far Side Cartoon. It points out another lesson I have learned. Be yourself. You don’t have to agree with everything I write. That’s ok. You have a right to disagree with me. However, when I write, I’m going to be myself.

While it can sometimes feel like work, I find blogging to be fun. I enjoy writing. I also enjoy hearing from readers who comment on my blog. That’s as much fun as writing them.

There are some blogs that I just sit and write. Others (most of them), it takes time to plan out. Either way, I try to give myself time to think it through and get the flow. It takes time and sometimes, you have to MAKE time to write.

So there you have it ….

Blog #300. As a follower, I need to say thank you. I am truly glad that you are here. I always welcome your suggestions. How can I make this blog more enjoyable for you? Would you like to be a guest blogger? Please feel free to let me know. What do you like? What don’t you like? Feel free to suggest other blogs I might be interested in. Feel free to share this one with others.

Thank you so much for reading. Here is to the next 300 ….

Stuck Home – Now What?

This week, I was fascinated at the simulations posted by the Washington Post on how a virus (coronavirus or the flu for that matter) are spread.  You can see them here:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/world/corona-simulator/

The coronavirus is everywhere.  Schools are closed.  Casinos are closed.  Churches are streaming services online.  Restaurants and bars are closing.  College commencement ceremonies are being cancelled.  The CDC is warning to avoid gatherings of more than 50 people.  We are being told to “flatten the curve” and “stay home.”  Sure we have the internet, video games, and Netflix, but eventually, boredom will set in.

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I saw something on Facebook this week that read:

“Just thing of all the sit down family dinners that will be happening across America because of this inconvenience.  Practices, meetings, and more – cancelled.  So many people say they’re ‘so busy’ and now have been forced to slow down.  Here’s your moment.  Use it wisely.  Be intentional.  Stay home.  Clean a closet.  Paint a room.  Spend time just sitting and talking.”

There is a lot of truth to that!  I am guilty of complaining about not having enough time to do things.  On my days off, I don’t relax – I am out trying to accomplish things I don’t have time for during the week.  Things get in the way.  I get busy – too busy to focus on what really is important.  Is work so important that it should take away from time with our family – sorry, bosses, it is not.  The structure of the family is hurting, because “family time” is becoming less and less.

“Me time” is also dwindling.  You hear all the time how important it is to unplug, and recharge.  My doctor says how important it is to find time to do something I enjoy once a week, even if it is only for an hour.  The problem is finding that time in a schedule that is already full with other obligations.

Let’s be honest, if I was forced to stay home because my work shut down, I would be freaking out.  No work = no money.  I have financial obligations.  We have cars and a home to pay for.  We have groceries to buy.  We have a baby to feed.  I have child support to pay to be sure my sons are ok.  We have the usually monthly bills to pay.  My wife is already off work and not being paid, so this potential “stay-cation” can really put me in a state of chaos.  I hope it doesn’t happen, but I also 1) don’t want to get sick and 2) get others sick. Whether it happens or not, I have to consider that is a possibility.

So, as I read that quote from Facebook, I began to think about the things I might actually get the chance to do if I was told to stay home for a few weeks. It was quite easy to make the list.  Some things are chores or projects I have put off for some time and others are more family/me oriented.  Here is a list that I just started jotting down. If you get bored while at home, maybe you can steal some of my items or be inspired to create your own list.

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What To Do While on My Forced Stay-Cation

  1. READ. (The stack of “to-read” books at my house is HUGE).
  2. Put the clear coat up on the shiplap in the kitchen.
  3. Exercise.  (I never have time for this.  “Make time” people say.  Ok, I will have some now.)
  4. Purge.  (Old clothes, shoes, papers, etc.)
  5. Watch movies.  (My dad always seems to hand my a bag with DVD’s.  I have many of them on a shelf or in a box.  What a great opportunity to watch them!)
  6. Call an old friend. (“I’ll call you” we often say, and then life takes over.  Why not take the time to catch up?)
  7. Scan pictures. (I have a bunch that I have been meaning to scan for some time.)
  8. Organize my digital music.  (I have many CDs that I want to transfer to digital.  I also have a hard drive with a variety of random folders and songs.  Some songs, I will never play, so I should just delete them)
  9. Organize my computer files.  (So many folders – so little time)
  10. Go through old radio bits. (I have a hard drive of some of my best bits with my old morning show partner.  I keep telling her I will send them to her.  Maybe with the extra time, I can get this done.)
  11. Patch walls and paint. (Long overdue)
  12. Clean the basement. (Another project that is long overdue)
  13. Yard work (weather permitting)
  14. Clean the garage.
  15. Organize Blog Ideas (Lots of random “thoughts” and “scribbles” in my “To-Blog” Journal.
  16. Board Games.  (Family time – lots of laughs)
  17. Inventory.  (Make a list of valuables and such – just in case)
  18. Clean out my e-mailbox.  (Who knew that some of those things you thought you’d want to read, would end up being something that you never get around to?)
  19. Print out some of my blogs.  (I want to start making a “book” for my kids.  Many of these blogs will serve as “chapters”.)
  20. Sleep. (With a newborn, you gotta take advantage of as much sleep as you can!)
  21. Organize cupboards.  (My wife will oversee this – she is better at it than me)
  22. Create the Bucket List.  (I sorta have one.  I just have never written it down.)
  23. Write letters to my children. (Not sure where I saw this before, but I think this is something I would like to do once a year.  Eventually, they will get to read them and hopefully treasure them.)
  24. Learn a language.  (Yeah, I have been saying that for some time.  If I have a few weeks, maybe I can actually do it!)
  25. Unplug.  (No phones.  No TV.  No Internet.  Just sit and talk with my family.)
  26. (a) Take Pictures of Ella. (Cause a new daddy can never have enough pictures of his baby girl.) (b) Take pictures of the boys. (Cause they are growing up too fast!) (c) Take pictures of my wife (Because she is beautiful and I love her)
  27. Sort pictures and put them all in one place to print out (My phone had a gazillion pictures.  I need to send them to Walmart or wherever to print out hard copies)

So, how about you?  What are you planning to do with the gift of some extra time?  I would love to know what makes your list.

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A Letter to My Daughter

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It is my hope that one day, my children will read over these blogs and learn a little more about their dad. This blog, in a sense, is a sort of “autobiography” with some musical, and entertainment memories sprinkled in.  A year after my mom passed away, we found letters that she had written to each of us.  I cannot begin to tell you how much that letter means to me.  It remains in a safe place and I re-read it often.

Letter writing is something that we rarely hear about anymore.  This is sad.  When my oldest son began elementary school, at the end of each year, I asked his teacher to write a letter to him, that he could read when he graduated.  It is my hope that his mom still has those letters for him to read.  I tried to do the same with my youngest, but his teachers were less than enthusiastic about doing it.  I plan on doing the same thing with my daughter.

Another article I was sent while Sam was pregnant said to have grandparents and relatives write a note to the baby that could be read when they got older.  Imagine a child being able to read a note from a grandparent or relative who passed away while they were young – that would be pretty amazing!

All this talk about letter writing brings me to the subject of this blog.  What follows will come from a week’s worth of various scribbling down of thoughts, random questions, and the idea of writing a letter …..

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2/20/2020

Dear Ella,

It has been 10 days since you made your entrance into the world and mommy and I got to see your beautiful face.  We certainly tried to get a glimpse before you arrived, but you had other ideas.  When we tried to see you in your ultrasound, you kept putting your hands and arms up by your face – something that you continue to do.  It only made it more special when we finally got to look at you!

I write this letter, knowing that it will be some time before you will be able to read it.  Please bear with me as I try to put into words my feelings.  Mommy will be the first to tell you that daddy can get pretty emotional, and I am not sure that I can find the right words, but I will certainly try.

You need to know that before you even arrived, you were loved unconditionally. You were cherished.  You were anticipated.  You were wanted.  Each day that passed brought more excitement as we anxiously awaited your birth.  We prayed for you.  We wondered about you.  We thought about you.  We prepared for you.  We longed to meet you face to face.  We could not wait to hold you, hug you, and kiss you. And it wasn’t just mommy & daddy who felt this way!  Your brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles and so many others asked about you and prayed for you, too.

Your mommy and I were told that it was going to be very hard to have a baby, so when she told me on Father’s Day weekend that you were on the way, I was so happy I cried and hugged her.  You are a miracle, my princess.  When we found out we were having a little girl, we were filled with joy.  You were supposed to arrive on February 16 (your great-grandpa Davidson’s birthday).  You decided, however, that you weren’t going to wait until then!

As you know, you were born February 10, 2020 at 2:57pm.  You weighed 7 pounds 7 ounces and measured 19 and a half inches long.  We knew you were going to be born with hair, because we were able to see that on the ultrasound.  Mommy also knew you would have hair, as you gave her a whole lot of heartburn while she carried you in her belly.

I was next to mommy the entire time we were in the hospital, and watched as you entered the world.  Your tiny cry was the most beautiful sound.  The doctor handed me a pair of scissors and I was allowed to cut the cord that attached you to mommy throughout the past nine months.  Once they cleaned you up a bit, they handed you to mommy and she was able to hold you.  It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.  I was overcome with emotion as I looked at my two favorite girls – mommy and you!

We named you Pamela Rose:  Pamela comes from your grandma’s (mommy’s mom and daddy’s mom).  Rose comes from grandma Rose and daddy’s grandma.  We can only hope that you will grow to be like these amazing ladies!  We wanted you to a have a unique nickname, so we call you Ella.

You are just perfect, sweetheart.  In the short time you have been with us, you have captured our hearts.  Our love for you has doubled, tripled, and quadrupled and continues to grow!  I look at you in awesome wonder.  My heart does flips every time you smile. I fall deeper and deeper in love with you every time I hold you in my arms.  I could spend hours looking into your amazing eyes. You are simply beautiful and suddenly – you have become everything to mommy and me.

We have so many great things to look forward to!  I can’t wait to read you bedtime stories, sing you Dean Martin songs, and tickle your belly.  I can’t wait to buy you Christmas and birthday presents and take you swimming.  I can’t wait to have tea parties and watch Peppa Pig.  I can’t wait to watch you grow and make a difference in the world!

I want you to know that I love your mommy with all my heart!  She is one of the most amazing women I have ever met.  I truly hope that you will be like her.  She is kind, loving, and fair.  She makes me laugh every day.  We are a team and we will do everything and anything for you!  We will be your biggest cheerleaders and will support you in whatever you do!  We will always do whatever we can to help you achieve your goals in life!

I promise I will do my best to keep you safe.  I promise to make you smile.  I promise to be there when you are scared.  I promise to always have a hand for you to hold.  I promise to be there to listen when you need to talk.  I promise to wipe away any tears when you hurt.  I promise to take care of you when you are sick.  I promise to be honest with you.  I promise to answer any questions you have.  I promise to put you first. I promise to love you forever, no matter what!

Only God knows how much time we will have together, sweetheart.  There is a quote that says:

“Time is free, but it is priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it.  You can’t keep it, but you can spend it.  Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back.” 

I promise that I will treasure every moment we have together, Ella.  I look forward to every second of it.

I loved you yesterday, I love you more today, and I will love you more tomorrow.

Daddy

ella

 

 

 

 

 

Time. Life. Death. Ripples.

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The longest song I ever played on the air was Alice’s Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie which is just over 18 minutes long.  We played this on the classic rock station (and sometimes on the oldies station) every Thanksgiving.  To those who love the song, it was the perfect length.  To those who hated the song, it went on too long.  Their feelings about the song depended on their perception of time.  (Incidentally, the shortest song I ever played on the radio was Her Majesty by the Beatles.  I think it clocks in at just over 20 seconds long.)

Time. I have found myself thinking a lot about time over the past month or so. I have had the word “time” written on my list of blog topics for a while, but have never felt that I am ready to blog about it.  In all honesty, I am still not ready, but I had to write something to clear my head.

There is no shortage of great quotes about time:

“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst” – William Penn

“Time isn’t the main thing.  It’s the only thing” – Miles Davis

“Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted” – John Lennon

“Lost time is never found again” – Benjamin Franklin

Time is one of those things that is constantly moving.  It moves second by second.  Hour by hour.  Day by day.  Year by year. The truth of the matter is that time is constant.  3 minutes is 3 minutes.  How one perceives that 3 minutes depends on the situation.  In some cases, 3 minutes can feel like 10 minutes. In others it can feel like just 1 minute.  Think of an 8 hour work day and compare it to 8 hours on vacation.  Vacation time is flying by while the clock at work moves slowly.

Earlier this month, Facebook was flooded with “First Day of School” pictures.  My friends posted pictures with captions that read: “Where did the time go?”, “Wasn’t she just in kindergarten?”, “How did he grow up so fast?”, and “Last First Day of School”.  I can relate to that last one as my oldest son started his Senior year this year.  My Facebook “Memories” feed has been full of my own kid’s “first day of school” pictures, and I, too, have wondered those same questions.

So why am I rambling about time??

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In my 49 years on this planet, I have lost many people close to me, many at a young age.  Some of them, I have blogged about: my mom (who was only 58),  my grandpa (mom’s dad, also 58), my radio buddy, Rob (only 56), and my Uncle Tom (just 68).  This week, I found out a good friend passed away unexpectedly at only 47 and another friend was basically told her days are numbered – she is 48.  I can’t imagine how time will proceed for her.

I understand that death is a part of life.  I am reminded of a quote from my psychology class that said, “The hardest part of losing someone isn’t having to say goodbye, but rather learning to live without them – always having to fill the void, the emptiness that’s left inside your heart when they go.”  This is so true.  Leo Buscaglia said, “Death is a challenge.  It tells us not to waste time.”  Also true.  Bruce Lee, who died at the young age of 32, said, “If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” 

I sit here staring at this computer screen and my thoughts are all over the place.  Is this blog about Time or Death?  I don’t know.  I guess they both tie together somehow in my mind.  I guess Life also ties in with them.  “Live every day as if it were your last. Someday, you’ll be right.” That quote, which I read on the band room announcement grease board 31 years ago, will always remain with me.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that those three things (life, death, and time) do all go together.  Looking back at the people I have quoted, they have all passed away, yet their words are still here making an impact.  I guess this proves the quote of another person who is no longer here.  The late author Terry Pratchett says this: “No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away.”  

I still talk about my mom – ripples.

I still tell stories about my Uncle Tom – ripples.

I still laugh along with Rob when I listen to our old shows – ripples.

Thinking of my buddy Rob, I remember ad-libbing a poem on the air about an upcoming station event.  He looked at me and his Elvis character voice he said to me, “Man! You’re a real Carl Sandburg today.”  It’s probably a coincidence that I have a Carl Sandburg quote about time to share:

“Time is the coin of your life.  It’s the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.” – Carl Sandburg

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As I re-read this blog, I realize that it is a jumbled mess of thoughts.  For that I apologize to anyone who has ever read my blog and said “You’re a good writer.”  Usually my blogs have a point to them, I am not sure this one does.  Hell, I don’t even have a title yet!  I really wish I had planned this out a little better.  Tell you what, for now, let’s say this blog is a “tease” to the “real” blog about “time” to come at a future date.  And as far as the point, or moral, or lesson?  Uh….how bout this….

Make good use of your time and live your life so that you will be forever causing ripples.

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Four Things You Can’t Recover …

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My last blog was 7 days ago.  I had hoped to write for Tune Tuesday, I wanted to write a birthday blog for my wife, do a Top 10 song list for Dean Martin’s birthday and post a couple blogs as well, but I am a procrastinator.  I was asked to speak at the annual sleep conference at the Greektown Casino last week.  I had known my topic and the basic points I wanted to make since April.  I compiled the list of goals and gave an overview of the talk and sent it to the folks who asked me to speak, but I procrastinated until the week of the talk to put it together.  So, the past week has been spent outlining, planning, and editing my speech as well as creating the PowerPoint that was to accompany it.

During my radio career, I have stood in front of audiences of hundreds and thousands of people and introduced performers.  It was nothing to do this.  For this talk, which was to be in front of about 100-150 people, I was really nervous.  I know why – I was speaking to a group of peers.  I was going to get up and present a talk to people who have been doing what I do for many more years than me.  I kept asking myself, “Who am I to be the one up here talking?!  There are people in this audience who are WAY smarter than me!”  Every one kept telling me I’d be fine, yet, I still worried – until I got there.

Once I walked in, I ran into friends from college, friends who I worked with at another sleep lab, co-workers and friends from my current sleep lab, vendors who I have known for some time, and many familiar faces.  With each interaction with these people, the anxiety and nervousness faded quickly.  Once I was introduced, and I had the microphone, it was easy as pie!  It went very well, and many people who I had never met even came up to compliment me.  It was a very cool day.

There was one thing that happened after the conference that is really the point of this blog.  I’ll explain in a second.  Something came up in my Facebook “memory” feed that I could apply to what happened, and also makes for a good blog post.  So, here it is:

Four Things That Can Never Be Recovered

I won’t lie, I stole this from a friend who had posted it originally.  I find this to be very powerful and thought provoking.  So what are the four things?  “The stone after the throw, the word after it’s spoken, the occasion after it’s missed, and the time after it’s gone.”  I found myself reading this more than once, and thinking about each of these things.  I wasn’t going to blog about it, but the more I thought about it, the more it kept telling me to write on it.

The Stone After The Throw / The Word After It’s Spoken

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These two things go kind of hand in hand.  When you hit someone with a stone it hurts (physically).  When you say something out of anger, or without thinking how it might be taken by the person you are talking to it also hurts (emotionally).

Now, most of us are not out throwing stones at each other.  However, we frequently act without thinking.  We are prone to act or speak based on emotions. In many of those instances, we act or speak without really thinking about it.  Words or actions happen before the possible consequences are even considered.  All too often, we regret having said or done something knowing (after the fact) that it was hurtful.

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This relates to the instance that happened to me after the conference.  It didn’t involve anyone at the conference.  I won’t go into much detail, but it was after an interaction I had with someone.  I had texted that person prior to my arrival, so this may have been how the “stone” wound up being thrown at me.  As I left that person, my phone “dinged”.  It was a text message, from the person I had just left not 60 seconds earlier.  I will spare you the profanity that was in it, and let you fill in the blanks.  It read, “Keith is such a M___ F____ P___ A___ D____ B___!”

So, me being the guy I am, I responded with “Yes, but how do you really feel?”  For just a minute, put yourself in their shoes.  I don’t know what they felt, perhaps panic at first, knowing that they totally meant it for someone else to read?  Maybe they felt stupid?  Maybe they felt regret?  Maybe they didn’t feel anything.  I don’t know.  It took a few minutes for them to respond back.

Their response basically said “Sorry” and that it “was meant for someone else.”  It went on to say not to “take it seriously” and to have a good rest of the weekend.  I did not respond to this.  After a while later, another text came to me saying how wrong it was to text me that or “anyone for that matter.”  The person said that they “were trying to be funny” and admitted that it was “a mean thing to do.”  They said it was “weighing on” their conscience and that they were “really embarrassed and sorry.”  They also said how it was not very “Christian-like.”

I chose not to respond to this either.  I certainly could have, but I didn’t.  I was reminded of a Bible verse that I heard a pastor teach on at church one Sunday.  The verse is James 1:19 which reads, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”

The point of the entire message that week was basically this:  when we listen to one another,  when we stop and think about what we are going to say, when we are slow to respond, and slow to anger – less “stones are thrown” and less hurtful “words are spoken”.  Imagine how much easier things would be if we not only thought about the words we want to say, but how those words will be taken by the other person!

My best friend, sent me this today.  It fits:

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The Occasion After It’s Missed / The Time After It’s Gone

I had a friend who was a big Prince fan.  He loved his music, but never seemed to find the time to see him in concert.  He talked about it all the time and would often say, “I’ll get tickets the next time he is in town.” When Prince died in 2016, he was shocked and to this day says he regrets not buying tickets to his show.  “I never thought he’d not be around!  He was so young.  I should have had more chances to see him!”  The occasion came and went (a few times) and he missed it.

I have many regrets about occasions I have missed.  Not just concerts, but other things.  I regret not seeing my grandmother more because I was afraid to see her with cancer.  I regret not calling my friend, only to find out he had passed away.  I regret things that I may have said to friends while loaded up with medications. I regret many occasions that came, and I missed them.

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There are hundreds of songs about time.  I could probably fill an entire blog about songs that reflect on the fact that “time flies”.  This is an easy thing to see – in hind sight.  It’s never so easy to see in real time.  It seems like yesterday that my oldest son was born, yet next year he is a Senior in high school!  “Where did the time go?” we ask ourselves.  Kenny Chesney’s song says, “Don’t Blink.”  Isn’t that the truth?!  One minute your child is  a baby and the next thing you know, they’re graduating.  It’s eye opening – and emotional!

In life, and I have certainly been guilty of this, we often fail to prioritize what really is important.  Finding a balance between your work and home life is a huge challenge for many, but it is extremely important.  As I look back, I can think of many times work took priority over other things.  Because of that, I missed out on some pretty big things.

Employers are to blame as well, as many of them claim to be an environment where an employee’s family life is important, but their actions say otherwise.  I am always overjoyed to read of a place of employment that allows a new father to have some time off with their new baby and spouse.  It’s a rare thing, though.  I have seen people be denied vacation requests, despite the fact that they have the time to take.  They are told that too many other have that time off, or some other form of office politics.  Some people don’t even get to take their vacations, and if they do, they are working during it.  How sad is this?!

Time waits for no one!   It continues second by second.  Hour by hour.  Year by year.  Sometimes it seems to drag, but most of the time, it seems to fly by.  Use it wisely.

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Time management should be something that encompasses the balance of your life daily.  “I don’t have time to exercise,” “I can’t find a way to fit that in to my schedule,” or “I should have made time for that” are all things that we hear people say daily.  Guess what?  YOU have control over your time and what you do with it.  Manage it and make time for the important things.

Yes, you still have to work, but you can chose to work only when working.  Give your all when you are at work.  Do your job.  Do it well.  Manage your time so you get everything done when it needs to be done.  Don’t bring your work home with you.  You aren’t on the clock at home.  One of the best things I did was to disconnect my work e-mail from my phone.  I check it when I am at work.  Why would I want to think about work, when I am home with my wife?  Why would I sit on my e-mail when I could listen to my youngest tell me about how much fun he had on a field trip?  No, I leave my work at work. (By doing this, I am actually more productive at work, and less stressed at home!)

Outside of work, make time for family and friends.  Do what you enjoy doing.  De-stress.  Live life.  Do things that make you happy.  “Life was meant to be lived” someone once told me.  It’s true.  Up until recently, I often found myself wishing I had done things.  I found myself regretting not doing something.  I also regret doing some things that took away from the important things.  This has to stop.

With all the things that have changed over the past few years, it is time to make sure I do not look back with regrets.  I want to be able to look back and smile at all the things I accomplished.  I want to remember all the good things and people in my life.  I want to say that I lived life where I am not ashamed of wasting time on things that were unimportant.  I want to “waste” time doing things I love.  John Lennon once said, “Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted.”

Make time for the moments in life that you don’t want to miss!  Time cannot be recovered once it is gone.

If you get anything out of this blog today, I hope it is this:  Life has many moments to offer us, no matter how old we are.  So, moving forward consider your actions, think before you speak, enjoy life’s occasions, and utilize your time to the fullest.

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Oh, and here is an occasion NOT missed – a great shot of the sunset at the fair I took my sons to this weekend.  Beautiful!!!

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