Friday Fodder

Hello readers. I hope this finds you safe and healthy. This is, yet again, another blog that is full of random thoughts in no particular order.

Baseball

My home team, The Detroit Tigers, have not been much to watch in the past. I guess I was spoiled in that I got to watch the magical year of 1984 and a World Series Crown. Since then, they have struggled. “We are rebuilding” has been what us fans have been told for years! In 2006 we went to the World Series and lost. So, in 30+ years, we really haven’t had much to cheer about.

Despite that fact, I really miss baseball. Today in my Facebook memories, a picture popped up that I posted two years ago. The picture is the view of the baseball diamond that is literally behind our house. “One of the things I love about our house is that I can walk out on the porch and catch a good ball game all spring and summer long,” is the caption. Sigh. Not this year. Even the neighbor kids aren’t out playing ball.

I have mentioned in the past that my favorite Tiger from the 1984 team was Aurelio Lopez. Senor Smoke, they called him. There was something about his pitching style that I liked. As a 14 year old kid, I used to pretend I was him. When I was with my dad, or my buddies from school. We’d pitch to each other calling balls and strikes. When I was alone, I had a square I drew on the side of my house that represented the “strike zone,” I used to throw the ball at. There used to be a square spray painted on the wall of our elementary school, and you could stand in the parking lot and throw tennis balls at it – calling your own strikes.

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I miss hearing baseball on the radio. I miss watching it on TV. There is some talk about teams being allowed to play without people in the stands. While it would certainly be weird to just hear the sound of a ball coming off the bat, I would miss the sound of the crowd cheering for a home run. At this point, however, I would welcome baseball in any form.

The Boys

After my self quarantine of over two weeks, I was able to pick up my sons. They will be staying with me for a little over a week. Despite having seeing them briefly when I took my oldest’s birthday gift to him, and their short visit in my driveway, I felt like I hadn’t seen them at all! Sure, video chats helped, but to actually be with them and give them a hug means so much.

My youngest still has school work that he is doing online and will continue to do through the end of the school year. Because he is a senior, my oldest had the choice of continuing with the final marking period or taking the grades he had when all this Covid stuff came down. He had excellent grades, so he chose the latter and is officially done with school. We’re still waiting to see about graduation and stuff. We haven’t booked a place for his graduation party yet, because we just don’t know when we’ll be able to hold it!

We were able to celebrate my son’s 18th birthday here. We made a cake and sang Happy Birthday. Choices were limited, but we told him he could chose what he wanted for his birthday dinner. He chose pizza (no surprise). It was nice to be able to do that.

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They are always on their devices. They have an Xbox, a Wii U, a Nintendo Switch, and countless games on their cell phones. I am trying to get them away from that stuff, but with the cold weather, it hasn’t been easy. At least today it is supposed to be in the 50’s and we can get outside to play catch or take a walk.

Recently, I taught my youngest how to play chess. It is not my favorite game to play, mainly because I suck at it. I decided that I was going to teach him cribbage. My grandpa taught me how to play when I was about 9 years old. We played the game open handed (where you could see each other’s cards) and I walked him through things. He beat me, and I am hoping to play a few more games while he is here. I am also hoping to get my oldest to play, too. It is ALWAYS nice to have something to do when there is a power outage, or when you are bored.

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In preparation for the boys, I made sure to put clean sheets on their beds, and straightened up their room. While I was in there, I raised the blind on the window to let the natural light in. We have a huge tree that is outside their window. The birds were driving Maizey crazy flying back and forth. She sat like this meowing and jumping at the window for about 5 hours!

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I remember a time when parents put their kids to bed and then stayed up and watched TV before going to bed themselves. However, it’s been the opposite here. Sam and I are ready for bed by 10 and last night they were still up at 3:30am!!! What is up with that?!?

Layoffs

As stated in previous blogs, I am off work on doctor’s orders. While I am here recovering, I have been lucky enough to spend it with family. I have been praying for my co-workers and others who are still working at the hospital. The labor pools at hospital continued to grow because of ambulatory sites being closed, and those workers being put in the pool. This meant less hours for those working. To make matters worse, this week hospitals in the state announced massive layoffs and cuts. Some positions were completely eliminated!

Many of the layoffs are temporary and employees can take advantage of unemployment benefits (while keeping their health care benefits). If I am being honest, I wish that this had been an option from the beginning for many of us. It would have been much less stressful (and safer) for people. I know I would have opted to just be home with family, instead of having to go through a the mental breakdown I had to be home.

I continue to pray for my friends who are still right there in the thick of things. I continue to pray for the many healthcare workers across the state, and throughout the country, who are doing what they can to save lives – while trying to stay safe themselves. I just want life to be back to normal. I want to go and do the job I was trained to do. I’m just not sure when that will happen and if I can even do that!

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Skinny Me

I was out in the garage this week looking through a few boxes. I was looking for some notes from some classes I took years ago (more on that in an upcoming blog). I stumbled on something that I had totally forgotten about – an old magazine I was in.

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Mobile Beat Magazine is still around and it is mainly for mobile DJs. I used to get it when I was DJing more. It had great ideas regarding set ups, equipment, contracts, etc… It also put out a top 200 list every year of the most requested songs from that past year. I still look at it when I do get out to DJ (which is rarely ever now). This particular issue did a story about mobile DJ’s who were also radio DJ’s. I was interviewed and I was one of those featured in the article. My ugly mug even made it in the magazine!

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It is funny to see this picture.

  • I am about 100 pounds heavier now.
  • The glasses are gone thanks to Lasik surgery.
  • The hair is gone because of …. natural causes.
  • The station is gone, because of typical radio politics.

The shirt I am wearing was given to me by my buddy Tim, who is now working in major market radio on a morning show. He and some buddies (Doug and Phil) used to have this set up in their basement where they “played radio.” In all honesty, the stuff they did was better than the stuff you hear on many radio stations today. They would make tapes and I loved them. They called it “Fake Radio” and had me voice some liners for it. Making those up were a blast. I loved that shirt and was sad when it finally was so tattered that I couldn’t wear it anymore!

Ella

My baby girl continues to be a source of happiness. It is amazing how much she has grown in just 10 weeks. She is “talking” so much! I could listen to “baby babble” all day! I love how she smiles at me when I talk to her. There is NO better feeling. While putting clothes away this week, my wife slipped on the tutu and bow my friend Margaret had sent. She slipped it on over her PJs and it looked great. Looking at her, I can totally see her wearing something like this for dance classes.

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I am so guilty of taking a million pictures of her. I will totally be “THAT” dad who will drive her crazy with my camera! “Dad! Enough with the pictures!” I will sit and go through the pictures and claim a “favorite,” only to go through them another day and claim another as “my favorite!” My latest “favorite” is this one:

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I love this little girl SO much.

I love my children SO much. Blessings – each and every one of them!

Until Next Time …

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Tune Tuesday – What This Country Needs

It has been some time since I posted a song for Tune Tuesday.  Part of the reason for this is that I have been spending most of my drive to and from work listening to Old Radio Shows.  This week, I plugged the old iPod in and hit shuffle.  I used to keep my “To Blog” Journal next to me in the car and when I heard a song that I felt might work for Tune Tuesday, I’d jot it down. During my drive, I heard today’s song and I figured it would be a good one to write about.

Most of my radio career, I worked in Country radio.  I have had the chance to meet and interview many Country singers.  One of my favorites, is Aaron Tippin.  He broke on the seen with a great song called “You’ve Got To Stand for Something” in 1991.  Follow up songs included “Kiss This,”  “There Ain’t Nothing Wrong With the Radio,” “Working Man’s Ph. D.,” “I Got It Honest,” and the post 9/11 patriotic song “Where the Stars and Stripes and the Eagle Flies.”

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I’ve had the chance to interview him a couple of times, the first when I worked at B95 in Flint and then when I worked at 94-5 The Moose.  The first time we chatted, we chatted about his upcoming show at the Genesee County Fair that summer.  It would have been 1998, because he opened his show with today’s song, more on that in a minute.  His show at the fair was the first time I had ever seen him perform.  During one song, he puts together a children’s bike while singing and donates the bike to a local charity.  That’s the kind of guy he is – he has a heart of gold.  Later in the show, he donned a fedora and sang a Frank Sinatra song, which just blew me away!

The second time I interviewed him was in the studios at the Moose.  We chatted about his love for flying, his patriotism, support of the armed services and so much more.  I had to ask him about the Sinatra song!  He told me what a big Rat Pack fan he was and we chatted about some very cool Dean Martin Box Sets I had.  He was so gracious with his time when he was there.  Before he left, I asked if I could get an autographed picture for my dad, who was also a big fan of his music.  He asked me about my dad.  I told him how he was a Vietnam Vet and how it was my dad who introduced me to his music.  He wrote on the picture for my dad, “To Sam.  I KNOW you got it honest!  Thank you for your service!  Aaron Tippin.”  Classy guy!

On to today’s song.  As I listened to the words in the car, I got to thinking about all the politics and such going on today.  The country is so divided.  We are hearing trash talk from each party about each candidate and so on and so forth.  I remembered Aaron doing this song as his opening song at the fair.  I remember introducing him and there was a podium set up in front of the microphone.  It had one of those red, white, and blue, flowery banners on it.  When I introduced him, he comes walking out with a suit jacket on and shirt and tie.  He goes to the podium and starts singing the song like it’s his campaign speech!  I loved every damn minute of it!  If he ever DID decide to run for office, he’d have my vote!

The opening lyric of the song says so much “keep what’s good, pile up what’s bad and then I’d strike a match”.  Going “back to the basics” would really be a good idea!  And let’s face it, Washington DC could use a cool statue of Hank Sr.!  Wouldn’t it be great if all the country really needed was some “steel guitar” to bring us all together?  I love the USA and yes, I am “proud of it” and I will “always love it”.

This song is one of my top 10 most played songs on my iPod.  Thanks, Aaron, for your friendship and your music!

What This Country Needs

If I was runnin’ this country

I’d start it over from scratch

Keep what’s good, pile up what’s bad

And then I’d strike a match

Yeah, we’d go back to the basics

Of how things ought to be

Yeah, there’d be a lot of changes

If it was left up to me

[Chorus]

Cause what this country needs

Is a little more steel guitar

And put a little fiddle right in the middle

Straight out of a Texas bar

And give us a song, we can all sing along

From sea to shining sea

Be proud  of it and always love it

That’s what this country needs

(Verse 2)

Now if you want to hear about livin’

Just twist that radio dial

Til you come to a singer singin’

What life is all about

Cause you can’t deny that people still cry

They laugh and they smile and they hurt

And that’s my humble opinion y’all

You can take it for what it’s worth

[Chorus]

Yeah, turn it on up and let it ring out

Across the land of the free

They ought to build a statue of Hank Williams, Sr.

In Washington, D.C.

[Chorus]

You just be proud of it and always love it

And that’s what this country needs.

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You can stop by his website and see what he is up to and try his wine here:

https://www.aarontippin.com/

 

Voices of the Past

This weekend, I DJ’d homecoming dance.  For high schools, all my new music is on a hard drive and I play it from the computer.  When I do weddings or parties, I still bring some CDs.  Recently, I have been going through boxes of CDs in hopes of putting what I don’t have on my hard drive, on the drive.

While most of my CDs are professional ones containing albums and music, I have some homemade CDs of things that I have burned to CD from various places I have worked.  I found 2 CDs marked “B95 Stuff” and “More B95 Stuff” in a box and took them with me to listen to in the car.  I was unsure if these CDs were data or audio CDs.  When I popped them in the CD player, I was happy to find they contained audio clips.

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Most of the audio was phone calls from listeners.  I used to do an “impossible question” every day for prizes and there were many phoners of listeners guessing the answer.  One of my favorite calls was on the first disc.  A woman caller simply asked, “Yes, is the answer poop?  Going poop!?”  Like the word poop wasn’t enough … she had to explain “going poop”!  There were also many requests, as I did a request lunch show.

I also found some interviews with Mary Chapin Carpenter, Tim Rushlow from Little Texas, and Terri Clark.  Some of the phoners were just silly things, I used to have listeners say things like “Keith Allen?  They let him out on parole?” or “I love every thing about this station, but Keith Allen!” or “Keith Allen?  Turn that radio off!”  There were a couple calls that took me by surprise.

Call #1

The first one was hearing a call with my friend, Marie.  If you read my previous blog, Marie was my friend who just passed away last week.

That blog is here: https://nostalgicitalian.com/2019/09/21/time-life-death-ripples/

There were actually 2 calls from her on that disc.  One of them she wins a contest I was doing, and another she called to talk about watching Trace Adkins rear end when he was in concert.  (There were other females who called to talk about his butt, as well.)

She was one of those friends who would do anything for you.  When my oldest son was born, she had this beautiful blanket made with his name on it and also had a small photo album made with an engraved nameplate.  When my youngest was born, she bought him one of my favorite outfits.  I spoke with her just a few days before she passed and she was asking what we needed for the baby.  She was always doing things for her friends.  While it was nice to hear us joking around about Trace’s butt on the CD, it was sad to remember that she has just passed away.  Her funeral is Wednesday.

Call #2

The second call was one from my friend Pat.  I always called her Pat, but I think most people called her Trish.  I also met Pat while at B95.  She was forever trying to win prizes.  She always came up to our remote broadcasts and talked with us.  She was a HUGE fan of the band Alabama.  She used to call up and say that she was lead singer, Randy Owen’s wife.  I used to kid her and ask is his wife knew about that!  She and I had a lot in common, and became good friends.  She was a huge Elvis fan and we often talked about him and his music.  I remember how excited she was when she told me she was going to Graceland.  I had been there while in Memphis for a St. Jude visit, and I told her how much she was going to love it.

The first time Pat won a prize from me she was SO excited.  “I won?!  OH MY GOD!!  WE DID IT!  WE WON!!!  THIS IS AMAZING!!!  (Laughter) I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!”  It was such a great response that I used to use that call as my “stunt winner”.  If we ever had someone win a prize who was not excited about it, I’d say “Bring in the stunt winner” and play Pat’s call!  The call on the CD was when she won some hockey tickets and she kept saying how much her boys were going to love it.  She passed away suddenly in 2014, leaving behind her four boys and a granddaughter who she spoke of so often.    She was such a wonderful person and we shared many laughs together.

Call #3

The third call that got me was a call I made to my grandma.  Phone calls from my grandma were a staple on the show.  I used to call her every Christmas Eve (if I worked on the holiday) or the day before.  Christmas Eve was ALWAYS at her house – I wrote a blog about it here:

https://nostalgicitalian.com/2018/12/24/the-ghost-of-christmas-eve-past-and-yet-to-come/

The phone call would consist of me asking grandma what was for dinner.  She would go on to talk about homemade ravioli, breaded steak and ammoglio (pronounced moy-gyoo) sauce, the many varieties of cookies, cakes, and cannoli, and the other items featured in the Christmas Eve Feast.  This call, however, was NOT about Christmas Eve, which is what made it even more special.

This call actually helps me date the CDs.  This call was made July 24, 2001.  How do I know this?  I was calling grandma to wish her Happy Birthday.  During the call she offers up without hesitation that she is 77.  She goes on to talk about how my dad was razzing her about something and then asks when I am coming over.  She then went on to tell me how I needed to come see her “while my eyes are still open” because “I’m not going to be around much longer” as she often said.

It was emotional to hear her voice.  She was sharp as a tack for so long.  She was your stereotypical strong willed Italian woman.  Knowing that shortly after that call, she would develop dementia was sad.  She passed away in 2007, at age 83.  Hearing her say “I love you” one more time on the phone – was priceless.

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A Recovered Memory

I must have been doing a phone topic about teddy bears.  There was probably a story about people sleeping with Teddy Bears or something, which led me to ask “Who still sleeps with a Teddy Bear?” or “Who still has their Teddy Bear from their childhood?”.  The calls were about bears and toys that they had growing up.  I don’t remember what the caller is talking about, but I respond about something I had growing up that I had totally forgotten about.  This has a tie-in to my grandma, who I just mentioned.

It is funny how you can forget about things.  I will forever remember a Teddy Bear that I had when I was little.  I had it with me in the hospital when I had my tonsils out at 3 years old.  The thing I had forgotten about is something I probably had around 5-7 years old.  It was a hand puppet of Ernie from Sesame Street.  Today, PBS has tons of kid shows.  As I remember, Sesame Street, The Electric Company and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood were pretty much it on PBS.  On CBC there was Mr. Dress-up and The Friendly Giant, but that was it. Sesame Street was my “go to” show.  I think somewhere there is a picture of me with Ernie and Bert slippers!

What do I remember most about this Ernie puppet?  First, the head was not felt like the real Muppet.  It was a hard rubber/plastic.  This helped when you went to make him talk.  I guess I took him everywhere.  I remember I’d bring him over to my grandma’s house and she would tease me.  She’d put a lit cigarette in Ernie’s mouth and make him smoke.  I hated that!  “Ernie doesn’t smoke, grandma!  That’s bad for you!”  Grandma never said his name right.  She always called him “Arnie”.  I remember her telling me when I was older that when my brother and I stayed overnight there I used to make her kiss Ernie goodnight!  “I had to kiss that dirty old Arnie!”  I literally just chuckled out loud as I wrote that because I can hear her saying it!

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In Conclusion

I have CDs of my Honey Radio shows with my partner, Rob (https://nostalgicitalian.com/2018/04/26/get-a-load-of-this-guy/), which I listen to often.  I still laugh along with them.  He always made me laugh.  While I am sad that he has passed away, I think he’d be happy to know that I still listen to those shows and they are still funny 25 years later!

I’m glad that I decided to pop those CDs in and give them a listen.  Much like the CDs of Rob and me, these also made me chuckle, but also made me sad.  At the same time, they are a reminder of good friends and family, who continue to make ripples (see previous blog) long after they have gone.

 

 

 

Picking a Partner

Yesterday I received an e-mail from a radio buddy who is now out-of-state. He was surfing around the internet and came across an article written by one of my radio mentors, Jay Trachman. It is probably a huge coincidence that just a few weeks ago, I wrote a blog about him, but then again, sometimes the stars line up … as you will soon see. The article was one that Jay had written based on an email I sent him. Let me set this up for you.

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In 2007, I was hired for a second stint at B-95. This time I was coming back to do mornings. Upon arriving, I worked with the amazing and talented Jeff Kelly, who always had me in stitches. The program director, Coyote Collins, pulled me into the office one morning and said that we were going to do a contest. The contest was going to let some non-radio person be my co-host for a year.

As a radio guy, I really had some deep concerns about this. How do you bring someone in who has never done this before and expect them to “get it”? I was scared to death. I was doing full-time, making decent money, and this whole thing could literally leave me without a job! It made me very nervous.

I found out that we were going to run auditions at the local mall. People were going to come in, come up on stage, we’d ask them some questions, jot notes and rate them and narrow the field down to like the top 20 people. From that point, we had those people come in and record a “Hi I am contestant # ___ in the Bee a Radio Star Contest. Vote for me” greeting. Those ran throughout the weekend and then the field was narrowed again. The top contestants came in and had pictures taken and they went up on the website with “Why you should vote for me” audio. Once we had our top 5 contestants, they each came in and did a show with me. Five contestants – five days – five shows. Then the audience got to vote for who they felt should be my co-host.

Back to the article – I asked Jay what kinds of questions he thought I should ask. I asked him what things I should be judging the contestants on. The article was his response. As I sat I read this 12-year-old article, and saw Jay’s suggestions, it made me smile. At that point, we didn’t even know if any one would show up to the auditions! The fact that people did was awesome. In hindsight, looking back at the article and his suggestions and knowing who eventually got the gig, the winner was the absolute PERFECT co-host.

The Auditions

There were more females than males who auditioned for the position. One by one people walked up to the stage and the panel of judges asked questions. I remember getting in trouble because I was asking questions that you really couldn’t ask in a job interview (about family, marital status, etc). “You can’t ask that,” I was told. I replied, “Well, I need to know if the candidate is going to have life content to bring to the show.”

Stephanie

While many of the people auditioning were a little shy when they got to the microphone on stage, Stephanie grabbed it and showed no fear. I remember she was asked to tell us about herself. She mentioned that she was married with a house full of kids! I remember thinking that there would have to be many great stories to share there (I was right). Steph recently reminded me of the question I asked her and her answer. I asked her who her favorite country singer was and she said George Strait. I asked her why and she said something about him “rocking a pair of Wrangler jeans”. Pure Steph! I don’t remember much more about the rest of her audition, but I know she stood out.

There were some really great people who auditioned. Steph told me that she almost didn’t go through with the audition. I guess there was a young red-headed gal who auditioned and Steph was like “I’m voting for her!” She called her husband, Thom, and said she wasn’t going to do it and he told her to follow through – THANKS THOM! Long story short (so I can share some funny Steph stories) – She won.

The Bee Morning Buzz With Keith and Steph

We always prepped a show. We had some sort of idea of what we were going to do on the air every day. We almost always knew the day before a few of the things we were going to talk about. If I am being honest, most of that stuff was NOT our best stuff! Much of the “greatest hits” material came from unexpected moments, bloopers, and ad-libs.

Before I move on, I have to give major credit and kudos to Hal Maas. He was our news guy. He was also on the morning show at WHNN. Since we both did news at the top and bottom of the hour, we recorded Hal from Saginaw at quarter after and quarter to the hours. When it was time for Hal, we’d record while music or commercials played on the air. Sometimes we knew we wanted to ask him about stuff we were going to do later, most of the time we’d just start rolling tape and some of the passing conversations made it on air. Hal is a MASTER. Hands down, he is the best damn newsman I have ever worked with. He could set you up for a line, or have the best line of the bit. While our show would have been funny without him, it was hilarious with him. He was an equal part in the success of the show!

Hal often ended his newscast with what we call a “Kicker” story. It’s those funny little stories about crazy people like the woman who recently was drinking wine from the Pringles can in Walmart on her scooter. We never knew what the story was going to be, so many of the comments made were on the spot or ad-libs. Sometimes they were funny, sometimes they fell flat. A lot of these stories and punchlines were featured weekly on our “best of” shows.

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Favorite Bits

Let me say here that we were probably very lucky that we recorded these newcasts before they aired. You see, Steph sometimes forgot that some things (while they were very funny) were inappropriate for our “family friendly” show. Many kicker stories were followed by a Steph comment with some sort of innuendo to which I was forever saying “No! No! Not on this show!” “Absolutely not!” “Are you crazy?! I need this job” and so on and so forth…..Off air, we had some big laughs. Here’s an example:

Right around the time of the Kentucky Derby, there were many stories about a horse named “Big Brown.” He was on pace to be a Triple Crown winner and it seemed like he was talked about for weeks. Right around the same time, Barbara Walters had admitted to having an affair with African-American Senator Edward Brooke. After Hal read that story Steph said, “Well, I guess, he was her Big Brown!” I can’t even begin to tell you how glad I was that we were not live!! I pictured hundreds of complaint letters rolling in and me in the unemployment line!!

A line that DID make it on the air had me waiting for the complaint letters: Steph was telling me about how her and Thom were watching this little squirrel who was outside their window tossing acorns onto their trampoline. She kept saying how it was the funniest thing and they couldn’t stop watching him. Then she says, “You should have seen him bouncing his nuts off the trampoline!” How we weren’t called into the boss’s office, I will never know!!

I was often the butt of jokes from Steph and Hal. One time we were talking about elementary school pictures. I mentioned that kids in grade school always have pictures with teeth missing. I told them about my 2nd grade picture which I had three or four teeth missing. Steph had the best ad-lib, “Let’s get the visual, Hal. That’s back when Keith had hair and no teeth, now he has teeth and no hair!” That was ALL her! It still remains one of my favorite lines!

With all of her kids, she was often on the phone with them as they got ready for school and such. Sometimes I would be giving her the “eye” that said, “the song is ending – we need to talk here” so she would get off the phone. One day, I heard something seconds before we had to go on the air and it cracked me up. Naturally, I had to point out on the air that “Steph just said to he kid – ‘don’t forget to wear pants today’!”

One day, Steph and Hal did something that comedy legend Jack Benny would often do – there would be a joke early in the show and as his show went on, that joke or a variation of it would show up later to bigger laughs. I don’t really recall what we were talking about, but Steph called me a “bald-headed freak” going into a newscast. Hal did all his stories, does his kicker story about a groom who baked an engagement ring in a cake for his fiance (who swallowed the ring). Steph says something about it being ‘karat” cake, and as I went to say how bad a punchline that was, Hal chimes in and says, “Karat cake – did you get that you bald-headed freak?!” to which I was left rolling on the floor in laughter!

Another great bit (well, we thought it was) was about Sarah Jessica Parker. One of the radio personalities that I exchanged bit ideas with shared a website (www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com) which shows Sarah Jessica Parker’s face next to horses that look like they are in a similar pose. For whatever reason, this website kept coming up in conversation. The Red Wings won the Stanley Cup that year, and we were talking about how each team member got to take the cup for a day. The bit we did asked what listeners would do if they had the Cup for a day or what celebrities would do with it. Hal, without skipping a beat said that SJP would “eat her oats out of it”!

One of my favorite bits started with an argument. Steph asked for a sheet of paper, so I grabbed one off the printer in the studio. Whether someone had sneezed on it, or someone got some food on it, something had hardened on the edge of the paper. She literally asked me “Why do you have to give me the one with the booger on it?” I told her I didn’t do it on purpose and that I had grabbed it off the printer. She told me how gross it was and that I was sick for putting “boogers on the paper.” Hal jumps in and says, “That actually has the makings of a great country song.” and I started singing “Our love’s like boogers on the paper … but it’s snot” which led to hilarious laughter. Another great ad-lib.

Speaking of boogers. We got into a discussion one morning about raisins. I don’t recall why. I told her that I couldn’t eat raisins made from green grapes. She asked me why and I told her that they looked like boogers. I even call them Booger Raisins! I am sure we had some sort of phone bit with the topic and listeners were calling about it or foods they couldn’t eat. I remember we were sitting in our boss’s office and he commented how “Maybe the topic of boogers wasn’t such a good thing to discuss while people were eating breakfast. But I thought it was funny as hell!”

One of the great tricks I played on Steph came from a kicker story from Hal. The story was about someone who got struck by lightning twice. Steph said “Lightning doesn’t strike three times in the same place” and Hal said, “No that’s knock three times on the ceiling if you want me” (a hit for Tony Orlando and Dawn) which led to a long discussion on our COUNTRY station about this 70’s song. I waited for Steph to leave the studio and quickly found the hook from “Knock Three Times” and had it ready on our audio player. I waited for her to read the sponsorship for the traffic or weather (I don’t remember) and as soon as she started to read it – I played the hook from that song. She couldn’t hold it together. I faded it out. Waited for her to gain her composure and as soon as she started reading it again, played the hook again! I did this off and on a few times because it just made me laugh.

One thing that I will forever associate with Steph, and she can probably remember how this topic came up (because I can’t), was a character from a Flintstones spin-off. On Saturday mornings, there was a Pebbles and Bam Bam show which features the kids from the Flintstones as teenagers. There was a character who always moped around and had a cloud over his head that was raining. His name was Shleprock. She probably called me that once, I don’t know, but whenever I see that character – I think of her.

The station partnered with a bowling alley to do a bowling league. We invited listeners to come out and bowl with us once a week. We had bowling shirts printed up and many of our listeners came out and joined the league. Steph’s bowling was always the talk of the show the next day! She would throw the ball down the lane and dance and swing her arms and try to “control” the ball and where it was going. It was hilarious! I’m not sure who had more fun, the listeners or us!

We worked together for two years. We had three bosses. Two that “got us” and liked what we did on the air, and one that may not have. I can’t be sure. We were told that they wanted to save money and they brought in a semi-syndicated live show which was based in Grand Rapids and Flint. Our positions and salaries were eliminated.

Perfectly Aligned

The words “Steph – B95” have been on the pad of paper where I write ideas for future blogs for some time. I knew there were stories to share – I wasn’t sure how to present them. For example, I think the fact that she called the Tampa Bay Devil Rays the “Tampa Day Bevil Rays” is hilarious! Oh, I suppose one day, I’ll have to tell you the story about the “Hoover Maneuver”!!

At any rate, just like the “stars aligned” to set me up to write this blog, they also aligned to make her the winner of the contest and my co-host. I couldn’t be happier for that. She brought so much realness to the show. She was funny. She was entertaining. She was genuine. She was literally our target audience!

Jay told me to consider the following things in a co-host:

* Do they have something to say?
* Do they have a colorful way of expressing themselves?
* Are they reasonably comfortable with who they are?
* Are they emotionally varied?
* Do they like their lives?
* Do they respond to things you say?

He then said, “Get them to talk, and listen to how it feels. If they’re expressive and varied, and they make you respond to them, then you’ve got a decent chance of success.”

She was PERFECT!

After B-95

You would think that when we got let go, we’d have gone our separate ways. I mean, we got her to leave her full-time job to work in radio – only to get fired two years later for no reason! Thankfully, we have been friends ever since! Over the years, it is not odd for one of us to call each other with some story and say, “Man, that would have been a great bit to tell on the air!” I have looked back and seen her children get married, go off to college, give birth to her grandbabies….there is no shortage of great stuff that she could share on the air.

Over the past few years, she has been a true friend and was always there to lend an ear in tough times. She was honest and supportive through my divorce and rejoiced with me when I got remarried. How cool is it that a radio contest not only gave me a co-host, but a life long friend?!

Thanks for the wonderful memories, Steph!

Remembering my friend, Jay

radio

In 1994, I was working at Honey Radio.  Richard D. had a box full of jokes and show prep that he had collected over some time.  He recycled many lines and adapted them to make them current.  One day, while prepping his Top 12 at 12, I noticed a brown “newsletter looking” booklet.  The title of it was “One to One”.  I glanced at it and there was an article, some “this day in history” stuff, artist notes, and many one liners.  That was the first time I saw it.  It was 4 years later that I came to know more about the author of that publication, began to learn from him, and gained a wonderful mentor and friend.

WFBE – 1998

B-95 hadn’t been on the air too long when I joined the on air staff in 1998.  I was brought aboard to do mid-days.  Art Opperman was the Program Director.  During one of our aircheck meetings (when you sit down with a tape of your show and the boss offers suggestions and such), he heard a break that I had done and he liked it.  He told me it would have been better if I had edited it.  “Time matters” he said.  With that, he reached into his briefcase and handed me a few photocopied articles by Jay Trachman.  They were “Talent Tips” articles from “One to One” that he had been given by one of his Program Directors.

I remember he said to me, “This guy is good.  He knows his stuff.”  I did some research and found Jay’s number.  I explained who I was and asked about this publication.  We chatted about radio a bit and shared a few stories.  I immediately signed up for “One to One” and began applying the things in it to my show.  Art was right – Jay was good!  Each week a new tip, a new suggestion, and, of course, funny lines for the show.  I really felt that I was becoming a better on air personality because of the principles and ideas from Jay’s publication.

A year or two into my stint at WFBE, Jaye Albright was brought in as a consultant.  I remember telling Jay about this and he praised her for her work.  They had been friends a long time and she was on board with the same thinking as Jay.  Jaye was a joy to work with and we spoke often of our mutual friend Jay and the stuff from One to One.  Most DJ’s get a bit nervous at the thought of sitting down with the PD and consultant, but this was not the case for me.  I always found our chats very positive and beneficial.

In one of his weekly publications, Jay stated that there was a “rare opening for a rater”.  A rater was sent all of the comedy lines that Jay had written for that week.  The rater went through it all and rated each line – the best rated lines made it into the publication.  I jumped at the chance.  This meant that each week, after sending the rated material back to him (via fax!!!), we would then go over what he called “maverick items”, which were lines that were topical and wouldn’t keep another week.

I grew to look forward to those weekly chats with Jay.  It wasn’t like work at all.  It was a weekly chat with a good friend.  He often offered advice about a bit I wanted to do, helped me craft a promotional idea.  The more we worked together, the more we spoke to each other about our families.  I came to know his family, even though we’d never met, because of our chats.  He was a good friend.

Some of the most basic radio principles he taught me, I shared with my staff when I was a program director:  Talk to one person; Time Matters; Edit – Brevity is essential; Don’t lie to your listener; People bond with people; Be Yourself; and Entertain.  I will forever remember his definition of that -“If you make your listener feel something – whether you make them smile, make them cry, make them angry, make them think – then you have “entertained” them.”  THAT was one of the most powerful things I ever learned from him.

There came a point where Jay decided that he would stop publishing One to One.  His “family” of readers were sad about this and much of the final year’s publications had letters to “the editor” praising him and thanking him for all his hard work and advice.  It was a very emotional year.

I don’t recall if it was before he decided to stop publishing or shortly after, but I remember he told me that he had been diagnosed with lung cancer.  It must have been before he stopped publishing, as I remember a few phone calls where he told me how tired he was from the treatments.

We spoke often even after One on One ceased publication, whether it was by phone or e-mail.  I am glad that I still can access the last year of One to One, as they remain in my inbox.  I also have a few of his final e-mails to me.  He still spoke of Will, Joy, his granddaughter Sophie and the rest of his family.  He always asked about my son, Dante’.  He loved hearing stories about him and shared Sophie stories with me.

Every January, I still get an e-mail reminder saying “Jay Trachman will be celebrating his birthday – send him a birthday greeting”.  I also get the Facebook reminder on his birthday on January 15.  I realized that Jay would have been 80 this year.  He passed away in November of 2009 at age 70.  What amazes me is that as I read some of these articles from 15 years ago, they still hold true.  Yes, the landscape of radio has changed a lot, but the “tips” are still good ones.  The comedy lines, however, are a bit dated.

There have been times over the course of the past 10 years that I have wanted to reach out to him.  I miss being able to bounce an idea off him.  I miss being able to ask him about the business.  I miss his guidance and his friendship.  As I think back over the many conversations I shared with him … I am thankful to have had such a wonderful mentor and friend.

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More Musical Memories …

The more I thought about my last two blogs, the more I realized how many memories I have that are tied to certain songs and the people in my life. My family members alone, and the music that I connect them with is an entirely separate blog! For this one, I jotted down a few songs and the friends (and memories) I connect with them.

WKSG

My first program director, Paul Christy, was such a great guy to work with. I remember that when we didn’t have a song, he’d contact a couple local guys (Tom or Tom) and get it. Those songs would come to us on a reel to reel tape. He used to talk about the song Gee by The Crows on the air and he finally played it off of one of those tapes. He raved about how much he loved it. It was one of the first Doo-Wop songs. Now there were plenty of other songs that came to him on tape, but the other one that sticks out was a song that a listener always asked him for – Blame It On The Bossa Nova by Eydie Gorme. Not that I hear it often, but every once in a while on Sirius XM it plays and I think of Paul.

One of the morning show guys was Vince. Vince and I share a love for The Blues Brothers movie (because it is a masterpiece). Vince and I often cracked up behind the scenes while Paul was on the air. Besides The Blues Brothers Soundtrack, two songs make me think of him. Fats Domino’s My Blue Heaven is the first. I’m not even sure how it came about, but we both talked about how it sounded like Fats mumbled almost the entire first line of the song and then you finally could make out “My … Blue …. Heaven”. We’d often pass each other in the hall mumbling that first line.

The other song is Leap Frog by Les Brown. It was Les’s Theme song, and was used in the prom scene in the Jerry Lewis film, The Nutty Professor. In the scene, Jerry’s character is standing and listening to the music, which slowly he gets more and more into. Jerry ends up doing this ridiculous dance to the song. Vince could do that dance move for move. Damn, just the thought of it makes me laugh!

I was lucky enough to follow Johnny Molson each night after his show. Many of the songs that remind me of him are related directly to stuff that happened off air or with his listeners. Examples of this would be Miracles by Jefferson Starship and Rocket Man by Elton John. I think of Johnny, because of two listeners in particular who had … unique … ways of requesting them.

Wind Parade by Donald Byrd wasn’t even a song we played on our station, but I had to find it to hear what it sounded like. It is on my iPod today and when it comes up, I think of Johnny and our mutual friend Joe Crawley, who requested this often (no matter what the station format was). This was one of Joe’s favorite requests, but he had more: Do You See My Love by Jr. Walker and the All Stars, Julie Do You Love Me by Bobby Sherman, Got To Be There by Michael Jackson and Home Cookin’ also by Jr. Walker. All remind me of Molson. Finally a song that reminds me of classic Johnny moment is Walk Away Renee by the Left Banke (because of an on air blooper).

My friend Victor Hughes just so happens to be the guy who was the lead singer for the group The Tymes on their hit single So Much In Love. Vic s responsible for me getting to finally shake hands and meet one of my idols – Soupy Sales. Vic used to work in law enforcement in New York and often saw Soupy there. He sent his business card back stage and next think I know, I’m shaking hands with him. It was pretty cool! I still remember Vic showing me his gold record for this song.

They started as listeners, but remain life long friends today. Roxanne, Gary, and Lee all used to call and BS through the night on the request lines. Roxanne would laugh about Elvis’s Wear My Ring Around Your Neck, Gary would always ask for some surfing instrumental called Penetration by the Pyramids, and Lee would ask for Grady Martin and the Slew Foot Five!

WHND

Richard D. used to have a feature called The Off-the-Wall Record. He’d say, “To my right is a wall. On the wall is a peg. On the peg – records. When I take one of the records of the peg on the wall and play it on the air, it becomes a Tricky Dickie Off-The Wall Record”. When he did this feature it usually consisted of rare or obscure tunes. One day I gave him Stormy Weather by the Spaniels to play. He LOVED it. He told me that was one of his favorites.

He often spoke of the group the Hi-Los and told me about the “tight” harmonies that they had. He was right. Good stuff! As a fan of the big bands, I let him listen to The Spitfire Band’s version of Cherokee, which featured an AMAZING trombone part. Again, he loved it and I think of him when it plays on the iPod.

Long story short – I gave him hell one day because he played a Dean Martin song and made some comment about him. I told him that we were both Italian and I could make some calls if he bad mouths our heritage again or something stupid like that. He laughed and then went on the air and said that I had come in and thrown him around the room and trashed the studio because of what he said about Dean. He said “I had no idea Keith Allen was the President of the Dean Martin Fan Club”! After his last show on Honey Radio, a listener suggested I play a Dean Song in Richard’s honor….I chose “I Will”. The first line of the song is “I don’t wanna be the one to say I’m gonna miss you, but I will…” it fit the somber occasion.

Then there was Rob, my morning show partner in crime. The list of songs that remind me of him are plenty. Most because he sang them at Karaoke (And I Love You So – Perry Como, Delilah – Tom Jones, There Goes My Everything – Englebert Humperdinck, and My Cup Runneth Over -Ed Ames). Three stick out for other reasons. The first two stand out because of a hillbilly character he did named Red Neckman! He’s always get “giddy” when we played Ringo by Lorne Greene and Waterloo by Stonewall Jackson. The one that I can’t believe we played on the air was by actor Robert Mitchum. Rob had this song called My Honey’s Lovin’ Arms from an album that Mitchum did. It was catchy and Bob actually sounds ok singing it…..unlike some of his other songs.

Lesley Ronson and I have “hated” each other since high school. She used to call me all the time when I was at Honey and ask me to play her a song or something. Personally, I think she just liked hearing her name on the radio. One day, I hit the wrong button and played a sound effect of the Frankenstein monster moaning and screaming (which we said was Richard warming up for his show) and said it was for Lesley…..The song I wanted to play – and eventually did – was Mean Woman Blues by Roy Orbison.

WFBE

I was in a meeting with my program director Brian Cleary when the first plane hit the World Trade Center on 9/11. We were called out of the office by the morning show gal and we watched in horror as the second plane hit. To this day, when I hear Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning by Alan Jackson, I think of that morning.

On the less serious side, Brian was/is a big Simpsons fan. I have on the iPod the 45 second classic song from the Stonecutters episode “We Do”. It still is my ringtone for him on my phone.

My morning show partner from my second go around at B95 was Stephanie Carroll. Three songs stand out immediately that make me think of her. She has a very unusual infatuation with George Strait. I’m sure he has some sort of restraining order on her. Give It Away reminds me of her. One of the coolest stars we had in studio was Jeff Bates. He was a blast. Funny. Talented. Boy, he could sing! Rub It In always makes me think of Steph.

Our newsman, Hal, was doing some story about a guy who was truck by lightnight more than once and Steph responded by saying, “Lightning always strikes three times”. Hal said, “No, its Knock Three Times on the ceiling if you want me”….which led to this crazy Tony Orlando and Dawn rant. I quickly found the hook of the song and without telling her, I waited till she started to read the traffic sponsor and just started playing it…she lost it. I did this a couple more times until I finally just jumped in and finished while she laughed. One of my favorite bits and the song will forever be connected with Steph (and Hal)!