Tune Tuesday – That’s Amore

It was 66 years ago today that Dean Martin stood in the recording studios at Capitol Records to record a song that he will forever be associated with – That’s Amore.  In 1953, Dean recorded it with Dick Stabile and his orchestra.  The session went from 8:30pm to 12:30am.  Also recorded at that session was the flip side of the record, a song called “You’re the Right One”.

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The song first appeared in the Martin and Lewis movie, The Caddy, which was released by Paramount Pictures three days earlier.  The song was written by Jack Brooks (who wrote the lyrics) and Harry Warren (who wrote the music).  According to Jerry Lewis, the writers of The Caddy left Dean very little to do.  The relationship between Dean and Jerry was already a bit strained.  According to Jerry, he went behind Dean’s back and said that he needed “a hit song” for Dean to sing in the movie – and That’s Amore was it.  Jerry said he paid about $30,000 for the song.  The song received an Academy Award Nomination for Best Original Song (it lost to Doris Day’s ‘Secret Love’).  It reached #2 on the charts.

The video below is taken from the Capitol Collector’s Series, which includes some playful studio chatter from Dean before the take.  Enjoy.

That’s Amore

“That’s Amore”

(In Napoli where love is king
When boy meets girl here’s what they say)

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That’s amore
When the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine
That’s amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you’ll sing “Vita bella”
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta e fazool
That’s amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You’re in love
When you walk in a dream but you know you’re not dreaming, signore
Scusa mi, but you see, back in old Napoli
That’s amore

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That’s amore (That’s amore)
When the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine
That’s amore (That’s amore)
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you’ll sing “Vita bella” (Vita bell—Vita bella)
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella (lucky fella)

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta e fazool
That’s amore (That’s amore)
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You’re in love
When you walk in a dream but you know you’re not dreaming, signore
Scusa mi, but you see, back in old Napoli
That’s amore (amore)
That’s amore

 

Emotional Day

It is still a year away, but it is becoming very real, very quickly.

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Last month, on the last day of school, my oldest called me and proudly announced, “I’m a senior, dad!”  It’s not like I didn’t think this time was coming, I knew it was.  I knew when I held him as a newborn baby that time was going to go quickly.  Life already moves quickly, and they say that when you have children, it moves a whole lot faster!  I would definitely agree!

First steps.  First words.  First day of pre-school.  First day of kindergarten.  First holiday program.  First day riding the bus.  First day of middle school.  First day of high school.  First band concert.  First awards ceremony.  How quickly these firsts fly by.  Next year, we begin to see the Last first day of school, the last final exams, and eventually, the last last day of school.

Today, we took my son, Dante’ out to have some senior pictures taken.  Times have certainly changed from when I had mine done. 31 years ago, they had the photographer set up in one of rooms in the school.  You made an appointment.  You got dressed up in a suit and tie and they put you in some ridiculous poses.  For those in sports, they may have posed with a football or basketball.  I had my trumpet with me in one pose.  They allowed you (for a fee) to pose with a friend.  I know that I have pictures with my friend Steve and Margaret.  You had to pose for one generic head shot (which would ultimately be your yearbook picture).  Most of the other poses were just awkward.  I have this one of me with the suit coat in my hand and over my shoulder – it looks so stupid!!

Our friend Amy came out and shot his pictures.  Prior to the shoot she was clear that the way we would get authentic pictures was to make sure he was dressed comfortably.  In other words, if he was not a suit and tie guy, then don’t force him to wear it.  She wanted to know his interests so we could get some shots of him being natural and relaxed.  We sort of mapped out a tentative plan and did as much as we could (knowing that he would probably get to a point where he’d be burned out).

Dante’ and his friends from school love old cars.  He has always amazed me as we drive around town.  He can point to a classic and give me the year, make and model of the car.  He loves them.  He’d been asking to go to a classic car show this summer and today, they had one in Flushing.  It was going on while I was on the air, so Sam met Amy and they took some shots near some of the cars of his choosing.  They also got some good pictures in the park where the car show was held.

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He also loves video games and arcades.  There was one in the mall near us, so that was the next stop.  Sadly, it was much different from the one that we had been at before.  Perhaps there were new owners, I don’t know, but it was more geared toward younger children.  I met the group at the mall after work and we looked at the rest of the agenda.  It was extremely hot and humid and we could see he was getting tired.

There is a park near us that has a creek, a bridge, and a trail.  We decided to go there and see what kind of pictures we could get there.  Dimitri had been out in the sun all day on Thursday and was still nursing a bad sunburn, so Sam took him home and I continued with Dante’.  We took quite a few shots there and I am excited to see them.

We walked down one of the trails and were looking for more opportunities for pictures.  Dante’ was walking ahead of me and I had a flashback.  One day the entire family was walking the trail by our old house.  He and Dimitri were walking in front of me holding hands (the picture is probably on my Facebook somewhere).  It was autumn, and the leaves were changing.  I told Dante’ that the trail reminded me of that.  Without hesitation, Amy told me and Dante’ to walk ahead of her and just talk.  For 5 minutes, I just walked and talked with my son.  Welling up with emotion, I put my arm around him and he did the same to me.  Amy snapped some pictures of us, and I am pretty excited to see them.  It was a very special moment.

There was talk of going to Crossroads Village and Downtown Flint, but it was obvious that he was getting close to being done.  Crossroads is a very special place for him because of his love for trains, and the fact that when he was 4, my mom spent the day with him at the Day Out With Thomas the Tank Engine.  Downtown Flint would have been cool because there are so many cool photo opportunities.  Knowing that he was running on empty, we came back to the house.

At the house, Amy wanted to get some shots of him playing video games.  This was important to him.  He loves gaming and his senior pictures should show that.  Amy’s daughter, Skyler, made a very cool sign that was in the shots with his video games that read:  “High School – Game Over!” The sign sat next to a stack of his favorite games.

Dimitri wanted a picture of the two of them back to back playing games, so she made sure to get that one for him.  She then had the boys sit on the side porch in the rocking chairs and just talk to each other.  Nothing forced.  Just casual conversation between two brothers.  I am sure that these pictures will be awesome!

Finally, we had Dante’ standing on the front porch and we hoped to get some shots there.  I think we got one.  In a very bizarre weather change, in a matter of seconds, the wind picked up, there was a clap of thunder, and the clouds opened up and the rain came pouring down.  Dante’ went in the house and Sam and I stood on the porch chatting with Amy.  That was the end of the shoot and it went better than I expected.

Dante’ thanked Sam and gave her a hug thanking her for a fun day.  He had been so worked up about getting the pictures done.  I am guessing he probably thought it would mean him sitting and posing like they did for me.  His photo shoot, however, was a fun day looking at classic cars, going to the park, and gaming on camera.  He thanked me too, and every bit of the emotions hit me.  My voice cracked as I told him that I still couldn’t believe he was a senior.  He looked me in the eye and said, “Are you crying, dad?!”  Yes.  Yes, I was.

I went in the house and stood in the window looking at my senior with tears in my eyes.  There was the little boy who I sang to sleep each night with Dean Martin songs.  There was the boy who waved to me from the bus window on one of many first days of school.  There was the boy who was nonverbal and pointed at pictures to tell us what he wanted to eat.  There was the boy who stood close to the TV mesmerized by the “Blue Shadows” scene in The Three Amigos.  There was the boy who sang “Elmo’s World” with grandma as they watched Sesame Street.  There was the boy I coached with his baseball team.  There was the boy who played my trumpet in his first band concert.  There was the boy who I rushed to the hospital after his tonsillectomy because his stitches broke.  There was the boy who I cheered for when he learned to ride his bike without training wheels.  Each of those things brought dad to tears.  Now here is dad, crying again.  Where that boy stood – now stands a young man who towers over his dad.  That young man is about to experience the fastest school year of his life.

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I am sure that there are many more tears that will flow in the coming months.  I can’t help it. I will cry when I see the pictures that were taken today. I will cry at awards ceremonies.  I will cry at his commencement ceremony.  I will cry at his graduation party.  Those tears are mixed with sadness, joy, and pride.  This is a transition for him.  It signifies the end of school and childhood, and the beginning of adulthood.  After graduation, he plans to go to college and maybe do something with logistics, although he still occasionally talks about working with trains.  His future is bright and I will be cheering him on until I breathe my last breath.

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I will do the same for his brother.  He’s got 6 more years before he is a senior, but rest assured, I will shed tears of joy for him in the coming years, too!  I can only imagine the wonderful things he will be doing in the years ahead, and I look forward to praising him for all of his accomplishments!  He will continue to grow up quickly, just like his brother.  In 6 years, I am guessing I will be looking out a window through tears at him, too, recounting his milestones and memories.  It’s what dad’s do.

Pass the Kleenex – it’s gonna be a long year!

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Father’s Day Reflections -2019

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As Father’s Day approached, I found a few minutes to reflect.  In a world where you hear constantly about “deadbeat dads”, I am lucky enough to have a dad who played a HUGE part in my life in SO many ways.  I have blogged about his musical influences on me (Which you can read here: https://nostalgicitalian.com/2018/03/30/my-biggest-musical-influence-dad/) and wrote a blog for him on his birthday (which you can read here: https://nostalgicitalian.com/2018/11/01/birthday-tribute-to-fred/).  I was truly blessed with a great dad.

One of the hardest jobs in the world is being a parent, I’ll be the first to admit that.  I will also say, though, that while it is a difficult job, it is also one of the most amazing things a man can do! As I look at my two sons, I consider myself blessed.  Being a father is one of the most satisfying, frustrating, fulfilling, and life-affirming things I have ever done!  I have been a dad for almost 18 years, and as I thought about my boys, I began to make a list of the things I love about being a dad.  I thought I would share that list with you.  Perhaps you can add to it or relate to mine.

Things I Love About Being a Dad

  • Your kids think you know it all.
    • If I had a dollar for every time my kids have asked me a question about something…LOL.  Many times, you know the answer, but sometimes, they ask you something that throws you for a loop!  They truly believe you are the smartest person alive!
  • Playing catch.
    • One of my favorite memories of my dad and I was playing catch in front of our house. I remember the first time he threw his “submarine” pitch to me and how much my hand stung when it hit the mitt!  Throwing the ball around with my sons is something I will never get tired of doing!
  • Coaching – Sports.
    • I was lucky enough to coach both of my sons in T-ball and baseball.  I truly wish they had both continued to play ball, but as they grew older, they lost interest.  I also helped the coaches out when my oldest son was on the bowling team in middle school.  I loved watching them play soccer and taking them to the driving range to hit golf balls, too. I only got to really go fishing with them a couple times, but I hope that it happens more in the years ahead.
  • Throwing them around in the pool.
    • We lived at one place that had a huge pool.  One of the thing I never got tired of was picking the boys up and tossing them back into the water in the summer.  I also loved letting them push me in the pool, thinking they had surprised me, when all along I was waiting for them to do it.  My oldest is as big as me now, and he still wants me to throw him around!  Pool fun is always great as a dad!
  • Your kids think you are the strongest person!
    • I remember arm wrestling with my dad and being amazed at how strong he was.  I remember “helping” my dad move things and struggling with my end of it because it was so heavy.  Dad wasn’t phased at all, though.  As kids, we are always amazed at how strong dad is!
  • Rocking and singing them to sleep.
    • Whether it is at the beginning of the night or in the middle of the night, I never grew tired of rocking my kids to sleep.  Holding them with their head on my shoulder and singing Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra songs is forever etched in my memory!  The songs changed from son to son, but some remained the same.  I used to sing “Bouna Sera,” “On An Evening in Roma,” “Watching the World Go By,” “Vieni Su,” “Cruising Down the River,” and other songs.  I used to love when they would sing them to me, too!
  • You become aware of your bad habits.
    • My dad used to smoke.  He used to say, “Don’t ever let me catch you doing this!”  He eventually quit cold turkey, whether or not it was because of my brother and I, I don’t know.  I do know that you are extra cautious about doing things or saying things you don’t want your kids repeating.  My dad always tells the story of driving while I was in the car seat behind him  Someone cut him off and he yelled, “You stupid prick!” and I said, “What did those pricks do, daddy?!”  “Sticks – there were sticks in the road!” was his response.  HA!
  • Play time and using your imagination.
    • I remember my dad coming into the bedroom and pretending to be a bear while my brother and I were under the covers.  I remember him pretending to be a wrestler and bouncing us on the mattress.  I remember pretending that way with my sons, too.  I remember playing superheroes with towels tied around our necks for capes!  So much fun!!!
  • Embarrassing them.
    • This gets more fun as they get older.  My dad did it to me.  I do it with my kids.  Just recently, we were walking down the street to go to the city fair.  On the walk I started skipping and both kids were like, “Dad!  Stop it!”  This one car was playing some song with a really loud bass, so I started dancing.  Again, “Stop it!” When the petting zoo came into view I screamed, “Oooo!  Look at the baby goats” and started running toward them.  They were so embarrassed!  It’s what dads do!!
  • Introducing them to things from your childhood.
    • For me, dad introduced me to a lot of music and such.  For my sons, I shared movies and music, but thanks to technology, I was able to share with them the Atari 2600!  They had some retro Atari that was loaded with 200 games or something one Christmas.  My oldest loved it.  He was always playing Maze Craze!  We used to hit the thrift shops and I would love when there was some old toy from my childhood there!  Of course, I passed down the Three Stooges to them!  I also introduced them to the Classic Scooby Doo cartoons, Hong Kong Phooey, and the Muppets.
  • True and unconditional love.
    • It’s a mutual thing.  I have never felt such an unconditional love for someone or from someone, until I became a dad.  Holding each of my boys for the first time, you melt!  The love just gushes out from you.  It is an amazing thing.
  • Hearing “I love you” from them.
    • This kind of goes with the above item.  As if you can’t love them any more, the minute they tell you “I love you” is just an amazing, emotional, and wonderful thing that you will never forget.  I still have voicemails from both boys as toddlers on my phone.  I need to find a way to get them into an MP3 or something.  I never want to lose those!
  • Halloween
    • There were a few years I worked nights and missed out on taking them out trick or treating.  I was able to be at all of their Halloween parades at school.  I loved being able to help pick out costumes with them.  Pulling them around the neighborhood as babies was something very fun.
  • Gibberish talk.
    • As parents, we all do this. Especially when they are babies.  I wish I could remember all the things I said to my kids, I don’t.  I know there were gibberish phrases that I used for each boy, though.  I used to love saying them to make them smile.
  • Making them laugh.
    • My kids were always my best audience.  “Do it again, Daddy!”  There is nothing like making your child laugh.  Their laughter is like music!  Even as they grow up, I still love listening to them laugh.  They may not laugh at it everything like they used to, but that’s ok.  It’s still fun to make them laugh.
  • Roughhousing.
    • It’s a bit different now that they are older, and have the potential of kicking my butt!  I love when they want to rough house!  I remember my mom yelling at my dad, “Stop that rough housing!”  Why?!  It was fun for all of us!
  • Being silly.
    • Adulting sucks.  Sometimes, you just have to be silly!  Being a dad allows you to be silly.  Silly is good.  Sometimes, you have to break away from the serious and embrace the silly!
  • Letting them win.
    • Oh how many games of cribbage did my dad let me win?!  With Uno, he wasn’t so nice.  I think he used to love putting down that Draw 4 card – much like I do with my kids today!  Sure, I have let them win occasionally, and there is some satisfaction in watching him and his brother brag about how they beat dad at the game.  Every once in awhile, though, you gotta show them you can beat them at it too!
  • “Caving” at the store.
    • I don’t do this as much now, but I used to.  You know how it is – you go to the store and there is that “can we get this?” or “I need this!”  All too often, I would cave and buy whatever it was.  Now that they are older, they understand a bit more when you tell them you don’t have the money to buy that right now.  they younger they are, the easier it is for dads to cave!
  • Getting beat at video games.
    • I love spending time with my boys.  They love their video games.  They have this one called Super Smash Brothers.  I really don’t understand it, but the gist is that you are a character (there are many) and you beat each other up until someone wins.  They kept asking me to play, so I did.  They wiped the floor with me.  Both of them were laughing as they beat the snot out of my character.  I was just pushing buttons trying to make it hit or whatever.  All of a sudden, my character started to light up and did this crazy punch/kick thing!  My youngest said, “Dad, you figured out how to use the special!”  There was some special move – every character has one!  They just neglected to tell me about it and let me lose!  LOL!  Smart boys!!  I don’t care whether I win or not, I just enjoy the time with them.
  • Carrying them on my shoulders
    • I remember as a kid, loving when my dad carried me on his shoulders.  I used to hold on to his hair!  My boys did the same thing!  I would give anything to be able to carry my sons again on my shoulders.  I used to love walking through the store with them up there.  I loved taking walks in the park with them up there.  I wish I had more pictures of them up there.
  • Snuggling/Hugs
    • I have always been a hugger.  I love hugging my kids.  I miss the days of snuggling up next to them for a nap.  I miss holding them while we watch TV.  I remember many times trying to get up from the couch, trying not to wake them because they fell asleep.  Those moments are so special for a dad.  I love when they come up and hug me for no reason.  It is still an amazing thing.
  • “Pull my finger”
    • This is probably the one thing that is exclusive to dads.  Not many moms do this!  Farts, dads, and kids mean laughs.  It’s probably such a huge annoyance for moms.  Dads fart.  Kids laugh at farts.  I remember one time my friend and I were outside in the front yard playing with Matchbox cars.  Dad came home from work and as he was walking in the house he made the “finger gun” with his hand and “shot” it as he farted.  We still laugh about that!  The fart will always be a funny thing that dads and kids both laugh at together.
  • Looking at your relationship with your kids and being able to connect it to memories you shared with your dad.
    • Go back and read how many times I mention something I love about doing with my sons, and how many times I can connect them with something my dad and I shared!
  • The “bond” that is eternal.
    • There will never be anything that can come between me and my kids.  I love my sons with all that I am.  They are my flesh and blood and will forever be my little boys.
  • The firsts and lasts
    • Those firsts stay with you forever.  The first steps.  The first words.  The first day of school.  The first concert.  Both of my sons are still in school, but if social media is an indicator, the last day of school is just as emotional as the first!  Watching each of my sons get on the bus for the first time was very emotional for me.  Big days – big emotions.
  • Artwork
    • Back when I had an office at work, I used to have countless drawings that they did in school.  I used to have a macaroni bee that my oldest son made.  The noodles eventually broke on it.  I still have some paintings they did and the coffee mug coasters that each boy made me for Father’s Day in kindergarten or first grade.  Those little things hold special meaning for me.
  • Bedtime Stories
    • It starts as you reading to them.  I don’t know how many times I read “Goodnight Moon” or “I’m Thankful Each Day” to my sons, but I enjoyed it every time.  I am sure there were other books, too.  “Snowmen at Night” was a favorite, too.  I used to love when they would read to me!  I wish the video games weren’t so accessible, because I really wish they would find more time to read.  I loved when they would tell me about a story of book they read in school.
  • The emotions that they make me feel.
    • They make me proud.  They make me happy.  They make me cry (both happy and sad tears).  They make me worry.  They make me thankful.  They make me feel a never ending love for each of them.  I am not ashamed to admit how emotional I have gotten watching them in a play, a band concert, a baseball game, or during an awards ceremony.  God help me, when they graduate, get married, and have children – I can barely hold it together now!!

I am sure if I had a few more minutes, I could add many more items to this list.  Being a dad is the greatest thing I have ever had to do.  My sons have been tremendous blessings to me and fill my heart with joy and laughter.  I love them so much.  If and when I am blessed with another child, I will look forward to reliving some of the things mentioned and creating new memories with that child, because being a dad is one of the coolest, most special, and fulfilling things I have ever done, or will ever do in my lifetime.

Happy Father’s Day!

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Tune Tuesday – Vieni Su

Last Friday marked the 102nd birthday of my all time favorite singer, Dean Martin.  I wrote a birthday blog for him last year, and this year, I had hoped to post my Top 10 Dean songs.  As stated in my previous blog, I didn’t get to do that because I was busy prepping my speech for the sleep conference.  So for Tune Tuesday, I wanted to share one of my favorite Dino songs.

If someone asked me to pick my favorite Dean Martin album, I would probably pick “Dino – Italian Love Songs.”  I have this on vinyl and I have listened to it more than once on the record player my wife bought me for my birthday.

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One of my favorite cuts on the album is a song written by Johnny Cola called Vieni Su.

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As far as the lyrics to this song, there aren’t many.  As a matter of fact, it’s one verse and a chorus.  Perhaps that’s what makes it all the more powerful to me.  In Italian, Vieni means “come” and Su means “on”.  The song is about a man who has waited for his special woman.  He adores her and loves her.  Now, he wants her to come with him through the years ahead and spend the time ahead together.  A simple love story.

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The song was recorded while Dean was still with Capitol Records.  The melody of this song is just beautiful.  I love the entire arrangement of this song.  Dean’s vocal is simple, and spot on.  It is such a perfect love song.  It is one that I can listen to over and over again.

Vieni Su

Vieni su, vieni su, vieni
Come along through the years with me
Can’t you see how I adore you
And how long I waited for you

Vieni su, vieni su
Won’t you say you love me too

Can’t you see how much I adore you
And how long I waited for you
Vieni su, vieni su
Won’t you say you love me too

Four Things You Can’t Recover …

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My last blog was 7 days ago.  I had hoped to write for Tune Tuesday, I wanted to write a birthday blog for my wife, do a Top 10 song list for Dean Martin’s birthday and post a couple blogs as well, but I am a procrastinator.  I was asked to speak at the annual sleep conference at the Greektown Casino last week.  I had known my topic and the basic points I wanted to make since April.  I compiled the list of goals and gave an overview of the talk and sent it to the folks who asked me to speak, but I procrastinated until the week of the talk to put it together.  So, the past week has been spent outlining, planning, and editing my speech as well as creating the PowerPoint that was to accompany it.

During my radio career, I have stood in front of audiences of hundreds and thousands of people and introduced performers.  It was nothing to do this.  For this talk, which was to be in front of about 100-150 people, I was really nervous.  I know why – I was speaking to a group of peers.  I was going to get up and present a talk to people who have been doing what I do for many more years than me.  I kept asking myself, “Who am I to be the one up here talking?!  There are people in this audience who are WAY smarter than me!”  Every one kept telling me I’d be fine, yet, I still worried – until I got there.

Once I walked in, I ran into friends from college, friends who I worked with at another sleep lab, co-workers and friends from my current sleep lab, vendors who I have known for some time, and many familiar faces.  With each interaction with these people, the anxiety and nervousness faded quickly.  Once I was introduced, and I had the microphone, it was easy as pie!  It went very well, and many people who I had never met even came up to compliment me.  It was a very cool day.

There was one thing that happened after the conference that is really the point of this blog.  I’ll explain in a second.  Something came up in my Facebook “memory” feed that I could apply to what happened, and also makes for a good blog post.  So, here it is:

Four Things That Can Never Be Recovered

I won’t lie, I stole this from a friend who had posted it originally.  I find this to be very powerful and thought provoking.  So what are the four things?  “The stone after the throw, the word after it’s spoken, the occasion after it’s missed, and the time after it’s gone.”  I found myself reading this more than once, and thinking about each of these things.  I wasn’t going to blog about it, but the more I thought about it, the more it kept telling me to write on it.

The Stone After The Throw / The Word After It’s Spoken

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These two things go kind of hand in hand.  When you hit someone with a stone it hurts (physically).  When you say something out of anger, or without thinking how it might be taken by the person you are talking to it also hurts (emotionally).

Now, most of us are not out throwing stones at each other.  However, we frequently act without thinking.  We are prone to act or speak based on emotions. In many of those instances, we act or speak without really thinking about it.  Words or actions happen before the possible consequences are even considered.  All too often, we regret having said or done something knowing (after the fact) that it was hurtful.

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This relates to the instance that happened to me after the conference.  It didn’t involve anyone at the conference.  I won’t go into much detail, but it was after an interaction I had with someone.  I had texted that person prior to my arrival, so this may have been how the “stone” wound up being thrown at me.  As I left that person, my phone “dinged”.  It was a text message, from the person I had just left not 60 seconds earlier.  I will spare you the profanity that was in it, and let you fill in the blanks.  It read, “Keith is such a M___ F____ P___ A___ D____ B___!”

So, me being the guy I am, I responded with “Yes, but how do you really feel?”  For just a minute, put yourself in their shoes.  I don’t know what they felt, perhaps panic at first, knowing that they totally meant it for someone else to read?  Maybe they felt stupid?  Maybe they felt regret?  Maybe they didn’t feel anything.  I don’t know.  It took a few minutes for them to respond back.

Their response basically said “Sorry” and that it “was meant for someone else.”  It went on to say not to “take it seriously” and to have a good rest of the weekend.  I did not respond to this.  After a while later, another text came to me saying how wrong it was to text me that or “anyone for that matter.”  The person said that they “were trying to be funny” and admitted that it was “a mean thing to do.”  They said it was “weighing on” their conscience and that they were “really embarrassed and sorry.”  They also said how it was not very “Christian-like.”

I chose not to respond to this either.  I certainly could have, but I didn’t.  I was reminded of a Bible verse that I heard a pastor teach on at church one Sunday.  The verse is James 1:19 which reads, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”

The point of the entire message that week was basically this:  when we listen to one another,  when we stop and think about what we are going to say, when we are slow to respond, and slow to anger – less “stones are thrown” and less hurtful “words are spoken”.  Imagine how much easier things would be if we not only thought about the words we want to say, but how those words will be taken by the other person!

My best friend, sent me this today.  It fits:

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The Occasion After It’s Missed / The Time After It’s Gone

I had a friend who was a big Prince fan.  He loved his music, but never seemed to find the time to see him in concert.  He talked about it all the time and would often say, “I’ll get tickets the next time he is in town.” When Prince died in 2016, he was shocked and to this day says he regrets not buying tickets to his show.  “I never thought he’d not be around!  He was so young.  I should have had more chances to see him!”  The occasion came and went (a few times) and he missed it.

I have many regrets about occasions I have missed.  Not just concerts, but other things.  I regret not seeing my grandmother more because I was afraid to see her with cancer.  I regret not calling my friend, only to find out he had passed away.  I regret things that I may have said to friends while loaded up with medications. I regret many occasions that came, and I missed them.

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There are hundreds of songs about time.  I could probably fill an entire blog about songs that reflect on the fact that “time flies”.  This is an easy thing to see – in hind sight.  It’s never so easy to see in real time.  It seems like yesterday that my oldest son was born, yet next year he is a Senior in high school!  “Where did the time go?” we ask ourselves.  Kenny Chesney’s song says, “Don’t Blink.”  Isn’t that the truth?!  One minute your child is  a baby and the next thing you know, they’re graduating.  It’s eye opening – and emotional!

In life, and I have certainly been guilty of this, we often fail to prioritize what really is important.  Finding a balance between your work and home life is a huge challenge for many, but it is extremely important.  As I look back, I can think of many times work took priority over other things.  Because of that, I missed out on some pretty big things.

Employers are to blame as well, as many of them claim to be an environment where an employee’s family life is important, but their actions say otherwise.  I am always overjoyed to read of a place of employment that allows a new father to have some time off with their new baby and spouse.  It’s a rare thing, though.  I have seen people be denied vacation requests, despite the fact that they have the time to take.  They are told that too many other have that time off, or some other form of office politics.  Some people don’t even get to take their vacations, and if they do, they are working during it.  How sad is this?!

Time waits for no one!   It continues second by second.  Hour by hour.  Year by year.  Sometimes it seems to drag, but most of the time, it seems to fly by.  Use it wisely.

time

Time management should be something that encompasses the balance of your life daily.  “I don’t have time to exercise,” “I can’t find a way to fit that in to my schedule,” or “I should have made time for that” are all things that we hear people say daily.  Guess what?  YOU have control over your time and what you do with it.  Manage it and make time for the important things.

Yes, you still have to work, but you can chose to work only when working.  Give your all when you are at work.  Do your job.  Do it well.  Manage your time so you get everything done when it needs to be done.  Don’t bring your work home with you.  You aren’t on the clock at home.  One of the best things I did was to disconnect my work e-mail from my phone.  I check it when I am at work.  Why would I want to think about work, when I am home with my wife?  Why would I sit on my e-mail when I could listen to my youngest tell me about how much fun he had on a field trip?  No, I leave my work at work. (By doing this, I am actually more productive at work, and less stressed at home!)

Outside of work, make time for family and friends.  Do what you enjoy doing.  De-stress.  Live life.  Do things that make you happy.  “Life was meant to be lived” someone once told me.  It’s true.  Up until recently, I often found myself wishing I had done things.  I found myself regretting not doing something.  I also regret doing some things that took away from the important things.  This has to stop.

With all the things that have changed over the past few years, it is time to make sure I do not look back with regrets.  I want to be able to look back and smile at all the things I accomplished.  I want to remember all the good things and people in my life.  I want to say that I lived life where I am not ashamed of wasting time on things that were unimportant.  I want to “waste” time doing things I love.  John Lennon once said, “Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted.”

Make time for the moments in life that you don’t want to miss!  Time cannot be recovered once it is gone.

If you get anything out of this blog today, I hope it is this:  Life has many moments to offer us, no matter how old we are.  So, moving forward consider your actions, think before you speak, enjoy life’s occasions, and utilize your time to the fullest.

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Oh, and here is an occasion NOT missed – a great shot of the sunset at the fair I took my sons to this weekend.  Beautiful!!!

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My 5 Favorite Films of the ’50’s

Fave Films 50s Blogathon Poster Ver 3

National Classic Movie Day

Today, May 16th is National Classic Movie Day.  This blog is part of a blogathon being hosted by my friends at the Classic Film and TV Cafe’.  This is the first time I have participated in it, but it is something they have done for the past few years.  According to other bloggers, it started with the “You are stuck on a deserted island” premise.  “What are the ‘must have’ movies you have to have?”  Over the years, the theme of the blog has changed yearly.  This year, bloggers were asked to pick their five favorite films of the 1950’s.  You can find links to all of the blogs that are a part of this blogathon by going to their website at: http://www.classicfilmtvcafe.com

Lauren Bacall once said, “It’s not an old movie if you haven’t seen it.”  There is SO much truth to this quote.  I don’t remember where I first stumbled on it, but it was a quote that stuck with me. The reason I start this blog with this quote is to prompt you to expand your thinking and attitude a bit.

The movies I am going to write about are what some would consider “old.”  This does note mean that they lack in a good story or a good performance.  As a matter of fact, as I look over my list of movies, I feel that they all have a good story and some powerful performances.  What makes them even better, in my opinion, is that they lack the CGI special effects and modern day movie magic!  They are good films without all that.

Honorable Mentions

Trying to trim my original list down to 5 movies was a difficult task.  I started with a list of about 50 films.  I whittled that down to a list of about 17.  Certainly, any of these could be in my top 5 and are well worth a watch if you have never seen them:

  • Rear Window
  • Singing in the Rain
  • Ben Hur
  • Dial M for Murder
  • Shane
  • North By Northwest
  • Forbidden Planet
  • On the Waterfront
  • Vertigo
  • The Ten Commandments
  • Gun Fight at the OK Corral
  • The Young Lions.

The star power in the movies listed above is amazing!  Now, here are the 5 I have chosen to write about for National Classic Movie Day (in chronological order):

The Wild One (1953)

The film opens with these words on the screen:  “This is a shocking story.  It could never take place in most American towns – but it did in this one.  It is a public challenge not to let it happen again.”  Well, right from the start you are hooked.  The film is based on Frank Rooney’s short story “The Cyclists’ Raid”, which was inspired by media coverage of a motorcycle rally that got out of hand in July of 1947.

The film stars Marlon Brando as Johnny, the leader of The Black Rebels Motorcycle Club.  Word is Brando only took the role because of producer Stanley Kramer.  It’s an odd role for him, at least for me because I am use to him delivering these great monologues in other films.  He rarely speaks in this film, but it is still a powerful performance.

Even though he is only in the film for about 10 minutes, Lee Marvin’s performance as Chino, the leader of the Beetles, is very memorable.  Other members of the cast include Mary Murphy as Brando’s love interest and Robert Keith and Jay C. Flippen as law officers.

While the “shock” value today is a whole lot less than it was when this film is released, there are still moments that will stick with you!  Perhaps this is a bit stereotypical in the portrayal of rebellious teens, if you can get past the 50’s jive lingo, it’s worth a watch.

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Night of the Hunter (1955)

This film is the only film directed by Charles Laughton.  It is also one of those films that scared the hell out of me.  Robert Mitchum is simply amazing as Reverend Powell.  Powell is a serial killer who has the words “L-O-V-E” and “H-A-T-E” tattooed on his hands, and often uses them for spur of the moment sermons.  While in jail, Powell’s cell mate speaks of the money he has hidden from a bank robbery he committed.  Powell only learns that the man’s children are aware of where the money is hidden.  After the man is executed for his crimes, Powell finds the man’s children and widow and marries her in hopes of finding the money.

The cast also includes a young Peter Graves, James Gleason, Lillian Gish, and Shelley Winters.  This movie still freaks me out when I see the “under water” scene!  Mitchum is the perfect villain and this movie will stay with you long after you watch it!

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Patterns (1956)

This is one of those films that not many people know about, and that is a shame!  The screen play is written by Rod Serling (Yes, Rod Serling of the Twilight Zone!) and it is a marvelous and suspenseful drama.  It was originally broadcast live on the Kraft Television Theatre in 1955 with Richard Kiley in the starring role of Fred Staples.  In the film, Van Heflin takes over the role.

Most of the movie takes place at the offices of Ramsey & Co – an industrial corporation headed by Walter Ramsey, played brilliantly by Everett Sloan.  You think you hate your boss?  Wait until you see Sloan in action.  He is the ultimate JERK!

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Ed Begley Sr. plays the role of Bill Briggs.  Briggs and Ramsey are always at odds with each other.  Briggs and Staples hit it off and become good friends.  In a story that could happen at any company anywhere, Staples finds out that he has been brought in to replace Briggs.

patterns 4

The movie is a true representation of corporate America.  We see the every day stress and the effects of it on the employees of the company and their family members throughout the film.  Serling was very careful to make the dialogue of the film as “normal” as possible.  One source stated that he re-wrote the screen play often to be sure the dialogue was honest.

The end of the film features a very tense confrontation between Staples and Ramsey.  The performances of Heflin and Sloan are Oscar worthy, in my opinion.  It may not be loaded with a whole lot of action, but it truly is an amazing film.

patterns 3

12 Angry Men (1957)

12 men

Hands down, this is one of my favorite films of all time.  It is a film that is often showed as part of management training or employee orientations because it shows a group of men with different morals and personalities working toward a solution (in this case – a verdict).

I have never been picked for jury duty.  I cannot imagine the weight or stress that is put on 12 people to decide whether someone is guilty or innocent of a crime.  I can’t imagine the stress of possibly sending someone to death as a result of the verdict either.  Watching this film is an experience, without a doubt.

The film basically takes place in one room.  After the first vote, there are 11 votes for guilty and one for innocent, which begins the process of examining the evidence.  In one of the most effective camera tricks in film, it continues to close in as the film progresses.  In other words, we start seeing the entire jury room and all 12 men.  As the movie continues, the camera gets closer and closer to each of the jurors as tensions continue to build.  It may or may not be noticed to the casual viewer, but it is really adds to the movie and the eventually conclusion.

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The cast is also top notch!  Henry Fonda is juror #8, the one who starts all the trouble.  Martin Balsam, John Fiedler, E.G. Marshall, Ed Begley Sr., Joseph Sweeney, Jack Warden, Edward Binns, Jack Klugman, Robert Webber, George Voskovec, and Lee J. Cobb comprise the rest of the jury.

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The personalities and the conflicts that go on between them are a clear picture of what we deal with each and every day in human nature.  We are all different.  We all come from different backgrounds and beliefs.  It is no wonder this film is used to help people in management understand the differences in humans and human nature.

While all the performances are spot on, the one that stands out the most to me is that of Lee J. Cobb.  His performance is exhausting and perfect – and just one of the many reasons to see this movie.

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Rio Bravo (1959)

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This one made my list as a guilty pleasure.  I love John Wayne, and have plenty of his films among my favorites, but it’s not his performance that stands out to me – it’s Dean Martin’s.

After Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis parted ways, there were many people who thought that Dean Martin’s career was over.  It almost was because of his first solo film (Ten Thousand Bedrooms), which flopped.  He came back to become quite a good actor and this is one of those performances that often cited as one that made his critics re-think what he could do. No surprise, Dean plays a drunk in this film.  His performance in this movie, to me, is one of his best.

The film was produced and directed by Howard Hawks.  Along with John Wayne and Dean Martin (who would also star together in The Sons of Katie Elder), the cast features singer/actor Ricky Nelson, the lovely Angie Dickinson, Ward Bond, and Walter Brennan.  It’s a good story, with something for everyone.  For me, I always come back for Dean’s performance.

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Conclusion

If you have never seen these five films (or the “honorable mentions”), I encourage you to check them out.  I also encourage you to surf over to the Classic Film and TV Cafe’ (www.classicfilmtvcafe.com) to read other entries in this blogathon, and read some other great posts.  I thank them for allowing me to participate and look forward to the next blogathon!

What are YOUR five favorite films of the ’50s??

 

Tune Tuesday – Feelin’ Good

One of my followers asked how picked my songs for Tune Tuesday.  To be honest, I have no rhyme or reason for the songs that end up here.  Last week, I wrote about Marvin Gaye for his birthday, and the week before that it was Nat King Cole for his birthday.  Today, it just happens to be a song I heard while in my car this afternoon.  It also happens to be a song that fits where I am in my life right now.

In the past year I have been blogging, I have written much about weeding out negativity, and the positive changes that have happened in my life.  I have written about reaching a point where I thought of ending my life, only to come through dark times to find true love and true happiness.  This song totally fits where I am now –  Feeling Good!

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The Song

The song was written by singer, songwriter, and actor Anthony Newley for the musical “The Roar of the Greasepaint – The Smell of the Crowd”.  Despite being covered by many artists (including Traffic, The Pussycat Dolls, George Michael, Joe Bonamassa, and John Coltrane – just to name a few), prior to Michael Buble’s version, the best known version was by the amazing Nina Simone. She recorded it for her 1965 “I Put a Spell on You” album.  Her version was never released as a single, but became known because of a Volkswagen advertisement in 1994.

Michael Buble’

I was first introduced to his music from a friend of mine who worked at All Access.  Kelly knew I was a big fan of the “Great American Songbook”, and the music of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Billie Holiday, and other great vocalists.  We spent a lot of time talking music.  She sent me a copy of Buble’s debut album and I was pretty impressed.  I was not only impressed with his vocals, but I was impressed with his band and the arrangements of the songs.  When his next album, “It’s Time”, hit stores, I made sure to pick it up.

Feelin’ Good is the opening cut from the “It’s Time” album.  It was released as a single, coincidentally this month in 2005.  The song opens with a slow fade up, and Michael’s vocal.  It’s soft and smooth and then the band kicks in with a big bass line, a sloppy and bluesy brass line, and you are hooked.  Everything about the arrangement of this song is perfect.  I love Nina’s version, but after you hear Buble’s version, it sounds “unfinished”.  It sounds weak and like it needs a few more musicians.

Buble’ acknowledges the influences of Dean, Frank, Tony Bennett, and continues to keep those wonderful songs alive (as well as some originals of his own).  Many people think of him and think of his Christmas music, which is sad.  He has SO many great songs.

As I reflect on where I am now in my life, I have found a happiness that I never knew I could experience.  I have found a love that many only dream about.  Ask me how I am feeling, and I will tell you I am “Feeling Good!”

Feeling Good

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by
You know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
I’m feeling good
Fish in the sea
You know how I feel
River running free
You know how I feel
Blossom on the tree
You know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
Dragonfly out in the sun,
You know what I mean, don’t you know
Butterflies all havin’ fun,
You know what I mean
Sleep in peace when the day is done, that’s what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me
For me
Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Scent of the pine
You know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
I’m feeling good
I’m feeling so good
I feel so good