The past 16 weeks have been very exciting for Sam and me. It has been especially nice to have this blog as a place that I can write things down and look back on later. My last blog told of the ultrasound, finding out the baby’s gender, and how we shared the news. I am writing today’s blog because something was missing from my last one – I’ll explain in just a minute.
First, let me say that we are overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and congratulations we have received from our friends and family. It was fun to tease that a gender reveal was coming and watch friends post their guesses on Facebook. I was reminded how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends as they sent private messages, texts, and called with congratulations. Thank you all!
So what was missing from the last blog? It was a lengthy blog, so what could I have possibly left out? Sam pointed out that I had certainly written about a lot of things that happened over the weekend, however, I really never said much about how I felt. I shared about watching the ultrasound, how I told my dad and the boys, but how do I feel about it? What am I feeling? I don’t know that I can put it all into words, but I will try.
Elation. Joy. Excitement. Delight. Jubilation.
I mean, how can I NOT feel these things!? I was told that there was only a 4% chance of me being able to have a baby, and then, the amazing news that we are having a baby – well, that makes you pretty damn happy! I’ve been given the opportunity to be a dad again – and this time, I’m having a little girl!
Over the years, I have been an uncle to many nieces, and have loved every minute of it. I have danced around in a princess crown for them, gone to Peppa Pig World, read girly bedtime stories, and made puppet monkeys talk. Having a daughter takes things to a whole new level!
I had always hoped that when I had children that I would have one of each. I wanted a boy to play sports with and a girl to walk down the aisle. I was blessed with two amazing sons, who I loved playing catch with. I love those boys with all that I am. I was NEVER unhappy that I had boys. They each have very distinct personalities. They are both very smart. As I look at all they have accomplished, I beam with great pride. I am honored to have been chosen to be their dad!!
12 years later, after many changes in my life, I am once again about to become a father. This time, I will be “daddy” to a little girl. What a great responsibility this is! I will not lie about this – as happy as I am, I am also scared as hell!!!
Boys could get away with 2 or 3 pairs of pants. All you really needed were a bunch of shirts and you could be set. Girls are different! They need pants, shirts, leggings, shoes, and many, many dresses!
I hope Sam knows that she will probably be picking out most of the clothes! I have a feeling what I think is “cute” really isn’t!
Have you seen the Xfinity commercial where the girl is dressing up her dad??
I would TOTALLY let my daughter do this! Now, if I have to do nails or makeup, I have this awful feeling that it will look something like this guy! I have never had to paint nails before. I don’t know how to put on eyeliner, blush, or any type of makeup. I will definitely need a crash course!!!
Let’s not even talk about her hair! I used to do my own hair, and now I am bald! How on earth am I going to be able to do her hair? With the boys, I brushed it, combed it, or parted it. This isn’t how it works with girls!! Have you seen the gazillion ways to braid hair?!
There is this:
The braid is hard enough!! I gotta make a heart, too?!? The pressure is unreal!!!!
Then there is play time. Very different from boys. I have never EVER hosted a tea party …
Whew! I’m glad there is a book!!!
Another scary thing is diaper changes.
It’s a whole new ball game for me! It’s been some time since I changed diapers, and I know it will all come back to me … this time, however, the parts are different!!
Then there is GLITTER! Man, I really hate glitter! It stays with you for years! LOL
Sam asked what sports I thought our daughter should do. Me, being a guy, thought about what I had already done with the boys. Hey, girls, do these things!!!
T-Ball – How cool are pink bats and gloves??!!
Bowling – Some of the high school’s have girl bowling teams! I gotta tell you, these gals bowled better than some of the guys I bowled with over the years!
Golf – I knew a gal who golfed for the high school team. She was pretty amazing! How good was she? I never golfed with her, because I knew she’d beat the hell out of me! Golf, like bowling, had scholarships, too, so why not?!
Sam must have thought I was crazy! She said that she was thinking about gymnastics – which after she said it, made total sense! Of course, our girl could do gymnastics! I can see her at the Olympics! Our little gold medal winner! Of course, I won’t let this guy teach her …. this doesn’t look right ….
One of the things I can see her doing is dance. My nieces do dance now. Whether it is ballet or just dance in general, I can totally see our daughter doing it.
Sam has already warned me that girls in dance class have to have many outfit changes. Tutus, ballet slippers, tap shoes, bows, leotards, and more! Yeah, I’ll be out in the audience doing all the moves with her (minus the leotards).
In all seriousness
I won’t lie, raising a child in the world today is very scary. Hell, it was scary before my oldest was born (9/11 happened just 7 months before he was born)! As a father, I know that my daughter will be looking to me for many things. I hope that she sees me as her hero!
I hope she will see me as her protector and as someone she can always trust. I hope she will feel comfortable to share what ever is on her mind, and come to me for advice. I cannot wait to share that special bond and special love that a daughter and dad have.
Things I am looking forward to
- Her first cry
- Her first photo shoot
- Her first words
- Her first tooth
- Her first steps
- Holding her in my arms
- Singing her to sleep
- Hugging her
- Piggy back rides on my shoulders
- Reading bedtime stories
- Holding hands
- Buying her whatever she wants (Sam says she’s hiding the checkbook)
The list goes on and on.
So am I feeling?
I am overjoyed! I am ecstatic! I could not be happier that I am going to be a dad again!!
I am also scared. I worry. I am told this is natural.
I am nervous. I don’t want to fail or disappoint.
I am anxious. I look forward to all the firsts, all the accomplishments, and milestones.
Over the past 30 years, I have DJ’s thousands of weddings and hundreds of Daddy/Daughter dances! At weddings, I have watched countless times as two special people shared their moment in the spotlight. At Daddy/Daughter dances, I have watched dads wonder just what their little girl is screaming about when Justin Beiber or Taylor Swift start playing. I have then watched as they finally get a slow song to dance with their little girl.
As a father of boys, I never understood the bond or the feelings involved with those dances. I know I have a few years yet, but time will fly and soon enough I will be able to relate to those dads I have watched over the years. To say I am excited as I look forward to that first dance … is quite an understatement.